Thread: OneUp's Short Stories and Poems

I wrote this about a week or two ago.

Where are you

I found her in my dreams that night,
Looking into her eyes it all felt right,
Their crystal-like hue reminded me of the stars,
So when the sky was cloudy, they weren't very far,
Emotions ran through me as I held her hand in mine,
If we held on to each other forever, I know we'd be lost in time,
This is what it felt like, to have her by my side,

"Do you love me?" she asked,
I said "I do"
I said "If the world ended tomorrow, I would spend these last moments with you",
As I pulled her in closer, our lips finally touched,
At that moment I knew, true love had me in its clutch,
Moments later I awoke and tears streamed down my face,
I may be alone for now, but I will find her one day.

You're a surprisingly good poet! Have you written poetry before? Did you do this for a class in school or just for fun? Either way I like it and I can't wait to read more.

Originally Posted by JadeGreen

You're a surprisingly good poet! Have you written poetry before? Did you do this for a class in school or just for fun? Either way I like it and I can't wait to read more.

I appreciate it Jade! I have not written poetry before, but I always liked the creative nature of it. I wrote this just for fun, and what motivated me to write it was actually a lucid dream I had that day.

Lost Love Won't Sleep

A lonely tree in a field of purple roses
A rainbow replaced the once darkened clouds
Ladybugs landed on top of our noses
The sun began to shine all around

We sat side by side under the sparingly cool shade
The wind on our faces kissed all our pains away
She laid on my shoulder while happiness washed across her face
Surely there is a heaven and this must be the place

A rupture in my heart made sure that I knew
That as long as she was here I truly felt desire
I didn't have the guts to tell her "the last time I fell in love was with you"
But still my soul burned with passion like a fire

After hours had gone and the sun had slowly set
The moon shone vividly but eternity was not over yet
Brighter lights filled the quiet serene night
And bluer skies reflected in her soul shocking eyes

As we arrived in the city she told me she had to leave
My heart wrenched with pain as I knew she must go
She said "This is our last summer's eve"
But she was the only one that could give me this glow

A lonely tree in a field of withering roses
Darkened clouds replaced the once shining rainbow
I sat alone with sadness in lethal doses
I wasn't sure if this was the end to all I know

She always reminded me of the clear skies
All the wind that hit me ruthlessly was full of lies
Her voice still echoes in my sleepless tired mind
"When we're apart what ever are you thinking of?"
If only she was here to hear the answer

I feel like in this one, you're trying a bit too hard to make it rhyme and it becomes rather apparent in some places. Don't forget there are other ways to do poetry besides rhyme and verse. The poem is by no means bad, though. I still think you have a lot of talent.

I took a creative writing class, and one of the favorite types of poetry we did were called somatic poems. Basically you do something called a somatic exercise. Some examples we tried in class included things like eating a grape or doing jumping jacks. Everyone got to create one, where I made mine to paint on your face with a wet paintbrush. (It only had water in it.) Another group member made one where you had to listen to a song on loop 10 times. You can look up online for more examples of somatics but some of them are really REALLY weird. Then when you're finished with the somatic, you write about what you were thinking about during the exercise, and it influences the poem. Like when I was painting my face I felt like I was some one from a tribe painting their face before a battle, and that influenced the direction and symbolism of the poem.

So if I could put in a request/suggestion for this thread, you should try some somatics. If you don't like them, you can always go back to what you are doing.

In a Perfect World

In an imperfect world
I am here and you are there
A few blocks separate us, although it doesn't seem too far
My heart tells me otherwise
"You are half a world away" it says in a whisper

In an imperfect world
You are here and I am there
You lay by my side, but I roam in my thoughts
I am void of the present moment
Alas, a gentle kiss on my cold face

I stumble back to the present moment
Where are you now?
Gone without a trace as fast as you came
My thoughts attempt to swallow me once more
But then I remember

The words you once told me
As you fell asleep in my arms that night
These walls can't stop me now
I will find you as you find me
No distance is ever too great

Your heart glows bright like a ruby
And it shall be my beacon
When my sapphire collides with you
We'll mix and become a brilliant amethyst
You always said purple was your favorite

Together is one word for it
Union is yet another
We were both made to be a pair
In a perfect world
I'll meet you there