Thread: anxiety meds messing up my dreams

I believe it is pretty difficult to change somthing like a chemical imbalance on your own.

that's exacting what I was trying to get at....mine is definately chemical, just like any other disease.

"A chemical imbalance" is really quite a funny term, because we all have slight chemical "variations" in our bodies. I mean... I'm not so sure if the doctor that decied my "variation" turned out to be an "imbalance" was just some goddamn excuse for him to put me on some dope. 90% of everything is mental(how could it not be? our mind controls the rest of our organs...), tibetan yogis and monks and crazy shit learn how to control the chemical responses in their brains and bodies and can learn to change their brain waves and everything. Scientifically proven... and... I don't see why they should be able to change their chemical "variations", but I can't change my "imbalance". I mean... they just learned long ago that our mind is our greatest and most powerful tool, we would rather believe that we have certain "imbalances" that need "correcting" through the use of drugs that get prescribed to us by some doctor, who probably honestly believes he's doing the right thing. I mean... what did people do when there wasn't any prozac, and valium, and xanax, and celexa, and clonziapan(sp?), and all that shit? Did they just start freaking out and killing each other? ...No... they learned to deal with their "problems". As far as I'm concerned, it's just another piece of me that makes me. I wouldn't be who I am today without it. Would I be a better person had I not had this "imbalance"? Who knows? Not me, I can't go back in time and change shit, and I'm not going to worry about it. I love the mentality of how you agree with me, but your fighting me at the same time, because you want to justify to yourself that what you are doing to yourself is right. Go right ahead. I don't really give a good goddamn what any body does, I was just trying to help. Give my opinion, you know? I don't think I'm wrong, I've had the experience to back the things that I say and the way that I feel. Have I transgressed farther to being "balanced" than you? Fuck... who knows, but I don't feel as bad about shit as I did before, because instead of just hoping and expecting this drug to help me, I've realized that the drug is just a damn drug, and to REALLY change the way that I think and operate, I have to be willing and ready to do so.

It was a really hard decision for me to stop doing all those prescriptions, I felt like I was giving up at the time. I also felt I had no choice though, because things were out of control, they were really fucking with my head (bupropin(wellbutrin) is a fucked up drug), and I had to stop to be able to continue(or at least try) my normal life. I mean... when your in high school, your anxiety is getting worse by the day(I was to the point where I spent most of my day trying to hide the extreme amount of sweat that was pouring from my body because I was worried about people seeing me sweat(see the vicious cycle? silly, right?)), and you can barely operate, you have no friends, you spend your evenings at home, alone, in front of your computer(to try and find friends), well... then you've almost given up hope, and your wondering why things are so bad when everyone is trying to tell you this should be the best time of your life. When I hit the bottom then, I had a mental breakdown(several, really), and I tried to kill myself. That's why I decided I HAD to stop, because... I had put all my hope in this silly drug, and when it didn't do what I wanted... well... I tried to take my own life, and I don't ever want to be like that again. My life is not deigned by a drug. Drugs do not make me, do not control me, and I will never ever give myself in to them.

Well... I decided then that I was going to stop all that shit, and instead of worry about everything, I was just going to stop caring. Worry had become the center of my life, and I did nothing else. Of course I didn't have any friends, who would want to sit and listen to me worry and complain? No one. Well... I did that, I went from one extreme to the other. I spent the next 2 years(or so) getting involved in insanity. I did drugs, I drank(almost every day), I smoked, I stopped going to school, I stopped caring, I only cared about the drugs again. Only this time, it was for a different reason. I realized that... wow... because of my change in attitude, I had ended up at the same end as before. So... by worrying about everything... I ended up getting screwed by drugs and trying to kill myself. When I decided that was stupid, and I stopped caring, and I let go, I ended up getting screwed way worse by the drugs this time, and I tried to kill myself again. Coke is bad for you, probably one of the worst things in the world. I mean, honestly, sometimes I'm surprised the drugs didn't kill me. I snorted 6 grams of some damn good cocaine in less than 2 hours between me and my buddy. I thought my heart was going to stop. I've been drugged to STUPID degrees. I took a bottle of cough syrup containing approx 338(I think) mg of dextromethorphan, and 1.1 g of pseudoephedrine, after I downed that I took 22 benadryl. Then, I drank, smoked, and generally got more jacked up than I've ever been in my life. I've read about it... that combination probably should've killed someone of my size(there's a lot of liver hatred in that bizarre combination).

So... because of all the drugs in America(legal, illegal), I've racked up two suicide attempts and at least one "almost-killed-myself" type of situation. Well... it's been a little while since all that happened, now, and while I still smoke and drink (a little, probably still "a little" too much), I'm slowly bringing myself away from that lifestyle. Well, in comparison to the things I've done and seen in the last 3-4 years of my life, nothing seems all that important any more. Hell, I'm glad to be alive, I'm glad I'm not completely addicted, and I'm glad I can "say no" to almost any crap any body will EVER offer me. Besides the killing of myself I almost acheived several times, I also almost got killed in a few situations(guns, drugs, angry people, bad deals, etc.), too. Now, in light of all this crap... I won't rely on drugs to help me, legal, illegal, whatever. When I was in the height of my drug habit, when things got REAL bad, was when I started pill popping. Prescription drugs are FUUUUCKED up. Especially pain killers(opiates). We got our hands on some oxycotin... that was bad news. I smoked it, snorted it, ate it, almost everything you could do to it. Every different form of ingestion gets you fucked up in a different way. It was like heroin... it was great. That was probably the worst I got(except when I was on speed), and it was from a prescription they gave my friend because he got in a car accident.

So, in conclusion: drugs bad, freedom of thought good.

I just will never understand the "It's not my fault, I'll blame it on something I can't control" sort of mentality. Only you have control over you, and not anyone or anything else. "Well, it's not my fault, I was born this way!" you say, but I can't hear you because I'm helping a friend of mine who was born with dyslexia try to read. At least he will try to change his life, instead of hoping some drug will do it for him. You think all those drugs weren't addictive? Don't you think it was hard to stop taking them? Don't you think that they affected the chemicals in my brain, too, don't you think they may have made things a little more "imbalanced"? Well.. I still quit them, I don't need them. Just like I don't need prescription crap, lies in a goddamn bottle, false hope in a little orange plastic canister with a goddamn child proof lid. The only thing that will ever be able to help you be free is yourself. Sometimes I regret all the shit I've been through, but honestly, I'm glad I went through it. Maybe without it, I wouldn't have ended up this way. I'm proud to be who I am, high school drop out or not, and that was all I was ever truly lacking before: confidence, belief in myself, trust in life. Simple things, simple ideas, trust and belief. I still get anxious, I still have attacks, I still get depressed, I still sometimes question myself and my beliefs... but I realized I'm human, and we all do that, some of us just do it in a little more extreme ways than others, and we have to realize this and learn to live with ourselves.

This all I have to say after all that shit:
Fuck drug reliance.

Wow, well said!

The only drug I use is alcohol, of which I am becoming a little too fond if you know what I mean.

You've inspired me to take a look at what I am doing to myself and maybe cut back a little.
Besides, I could use a little more REM time!

I hear that Seeker... this weekend was bad for me and booze... I got drunk every night.

Some days are harder than others...

I'll tell you what. Before i decided to take any prescribed drug i stopped all the other crap i was doing. And because the clonopin has made lucid dreaming for me a bit more difficult, i sure feel a hell of a lot better than I did before I was prescribed it. Also you figure these drugs have been tested before they get approved by the FDA. And as far as that conspiracy subject i think the Government would have their greedy litle hands wrapped up in it a littlte tighter. You cannot believe me I think there are some crap drugs out there but I have seen the possitive effects of what they can do. And without changing your personality. If someone is born without an arm and they have a prostetic limb put on they have used technology to improve their life. If I have an imbalance of some kind and a prescribed drug can help then so be it. You can say an imbalance makes you who you are but ther are obviosly different degrees in imbalances. What if your brain does'nt create a specific chemical that you need, are you just suppose to deal with it?
Just for curiosity what does everyone think of shock treatments? That can open up a whole new can of worms.

Last rant:

I think that... it doesn't even matter any more. I don't care any more.

Plug up, pollute, kill and destroy your body. I hope that doesn't really happen, but I've seen prescriptions ruin so many people's lives(including almost all of my friend's parents...).

I guess I'm just wrong and blind... I guess all these patterns that I see are all lies. At least to everyone else in the world. No one shares my bleak outlook on humanity... no one wants to believe all the things right in front of them that are so obvious. That's what I love about our culture... we have so much available to us... but we do nothing with it.

Your all so worried about your own existence... I could honestly care a less if I died today. The only thing keeping me here is that I want to DO something. I WILL be a part of everything that is going to go down in this world soon.

Sedation is just part of the plan... to keep us all sedated with anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs and television(heroin box!).

Everyone stops caring about all the shit going on all around them. I don't know... maybe I'm just nuts... maybe all these things don't matter. These thoughts lay heavily on me though, daily.

My life feels like "Waking Life"... all I do is work, get fucked up, and have extraordinary conversations(ie the movie) constantly. My friends(close ones)... we have started something... and we will all finish it some day, even though some of us aren't ready to "jump in the shit" yet. My generation is important, I know this. We are all so lost right now though.

I see my friends(all the not so close ones) daily getting worse... going through all the shit I've already been through... and I try to tell them, but they don't believe me. My friends are disappearing... into their own little cliques, that will soon be dissolved by the hatred that they will learn for each other by living in this decrepit state.

I live in a small town in CO, and everything here is FUCKED UP! My friends parents have been drugged for years(and my parents) and a lot of people are just realizing it. They're reality is gone, they will fall into the mold created for them. My friends are now taking up such wonderful activities as smoking crack, and doing cocaine all the time, smoking speed, and doing any other drug they can get their grubby little hands on. I hope none of them get real depraved and fall into a "heroin dream".

That's my reality... I know it is not everyone's, but this shit is all around you, even if you want to be blind to it.

I might be ready to do it.. I might be giving up on this society(hah... I know I already did). I think I might leave this place soon, in favor of a better one. Even if I can't find a "better" place, I will go out and do something. Maybe I will join the forefront of the coming war. Maybe I will just disappear and become someone else and write about humanity. Or maybe I'll just end up staying right here and doing the same shit I'm doing right now... trying to make people SEE.

I just can't stay in this system and not use it to destroy itself.

I see... the humans... we are riding these waves and coalescing into and out of each other... the waves of consciousness. We are tearing each other limb from limb in this society, consuming and consuming everything we see.

CONSUME! CONFORM! OBEY!

O'Nus is right... we are just numbers to them.

Did you know that about 1 in every 132 people is in the court system or jail, getting fucked by our government. Most of those are substance abuse charges. We are being told what we we are allowed to consume.

Did you know that we spend 3 times the amount of money as the top other three countries in the world on our armies? We could feed the whole world if we used that money differently.

What are we all doing right now?

We are all convinced that we can't make a difference... that's what they want us to believe. Who the FUCK is going to make a differenece then, if it's not us? No one then? We all just let ourselves be controlled...

I hope none of you live in CA and voted for "Arnauud" or lil' Gary. What a fucking waste. Wanda Sykes put it best on the Daily Show(wish I could remember exactly right now). What? Does everyone think that our votes are just jokes? Is this reality not slapping you in the fucking face hard enough? Why don't I just go outside, douse myself in gasoline, and light a goddamn match? I mean... if everyone else is going to throw their lives away...

You know... it doesn't matter... I feel like I'm constantly repeating myself and yet no one understands what I'm saying. I guess I just don't speak the right language or use the right words or have the "right" ideas.

Well... you guys all do what you want... just do SOMETHING.... don't waste your life like I feel I'm doing every day, and like I see everyone around me doing all the time. Do something profound... don't let the world keep you down, thinking that you are just another number, just another unimportant speck in the billions of specks meandering around on this planet. We are all part of it... I've tossed my stones everywhere... I just hope that not all my ripples are lost on the deaf.

Oh yeah... and if you don't live in America... feel lucky, every day. We are the worlds cancer.

::rant off::

P.S. go here if you believe the war is coming... because I can show you, it's already here.
Medios Independientes(oh, and it's not all in spanish, so don't get confused.)

Sorry if that didn't belong there... or anyhwere here... delete it if you want(just please tell me first... I am a writer, and my words are my heart..). I just... had to go off... couldn't help it... I constantly feel so.... empty...

Please don't delete it w/o telling me tho... my words would be forever lost to me.

After reading that long, thought out, post of yours, Second Attention.. I'm not sure what to say..

I have to agree that we should do something with our lives and not just succumb to a system and live the life of an ant-hill.

"We are trapped in the machine/And it is bleeding to death."

Not much else for me to say..

I would like to take your "rant" however, and possibly add it to a new section of my website. The section is to contain many well thought-out rants, such as that one, and display them all in a sort of, "Overlooked Thoughts" section.. (Not sure what to name it)

~ Michael : O'nus

Your more than welcome to, just let me know.

BTW, I like your site a lot... it's very well thought out.

I love to write... I just have to find directions... if you ever want to do some shit... let's do it...

untill I become as enlightened as the yogis I'll stick to what mankind has worked hard for, advancements in science... And as far as I'm concerned drinking alot ( which I'm guilty of myself ) is just self medicateing, but only makes matters worse. I feel so much better taking the persciptions I do, and if my thyroid medicine was'nt around I would be dead. People did survive without anything, but they also did'nt live as long.
As far as the conspiracy things...the internet propogates urban legends, not that this is one of them, but I dont take anything I read online too seriousely....people love drama.

It's cool Jill... you don't have to believe me, I understand...

Everyone looks at me as though I were nuts...



Edit:Oh, and as far as the website goes... it's a link to a site that constains information on an event that just happened. I had friends there. One of my friends held that dying man they describe on the front page in his arms... If that's not real... then... well.. what is?

actually I did'nt see the website, I was just talking in general...I dont think your nuts, I have no answers.

I've been on some antianxiety meds for about 3 months now and haven't really noticed much of a change in dreams... or much of anything for that matter (ok im a little more mischevious... but that's all...) I would assume it depends very much on the medication and how it works... Most antianxiety/depressant meds these days just change the way neurons use seratonin, and that should increase REM activity if anything...

it depends highly on the drug itself...

I'd just like to say:

THe FDA doesn't give a SHIT about any of us. They want the drugs that keep us working and kill us off fast.

The most deaths in the the US are actually medical, that doesn't make any sense. Today you have almost an 80% chance of getting cancer in your lifetime, that is absurd. These people don't care about us at all, they want us to be exactly like 2nd said ANTS, workers, consumers

they want us to work and die so we are no longer a burden on the 'progress' they are making, hoarding all the material shit for themselves.

The FDA prescribes intensely addictive drugs that PERMANENTLY alter your perception, despite what you believe now that your all fucked up on whatever.

Dyphenhydramine is a cool example of this: I've been fed benedryl since I was a kid. Dyphen is the primary component. Dyphenhydramine comes from Datura 'devil's weed' and is a halucinagen. You would never know it though, because the hallucinations that occurs are not your typical fun, oooh I'm on mushrooms and everything is pretty trip, oh no, it's more like paranoid schizophrenia! You don't know your tripping! you can't tell you're high! People often experience conversations with ppl who aren't there, they think that they talk in tongues, the get FEAR

FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR

FEAR to keep you all going to pointless jobs, to build the biggest IDOL the world has ever known. THESE DRUGS ARE ALL DESIGNED TO MAKE YOU AFRAID AND IT"S NOT NORMAL< THEY JUST WANT US TO BELIEVE TAHT IT IS.

on benedryl as a kid i remember walls caving in on me, faces, crazy voices, so much fear no wonder we get better, we trip ourselves well.

THE FDA DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU
they work for consumer corporate america, they just want money,
and they want you to stay sick

'chemical imbalence' is a way to make you believe you're weak, stupid, and need them to live. it's not true, it is not true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Believe in yourself, talk to yourself, reasure your clairity and learn to see through this charade, there is no reason to become weak, these tyrants want to take over the world.

If your doctor really cared about you, he/she would prescribe a diet, exercise, and not harsh chemicals. who needs a load of free radical damage from synthetic medication, who likes cancer???

I maintain my origional point

smoke weed, be free

smoke weed, be free
[/b]

hmm...let me think- no.

It's easy for someone without a legitimate deseise to say dont take pills......If I tried to will my thyroid deseise away I would be dead, and I tried the natural route, it's bogus and did'nt work, it almost killed me....not everyone is out to get us....The reason why people die of cancer is because the world is filled with things that cause it, and dont fool yourself pot is one of them.

Ok, that's it. If you think weed causes cancer you should study more, it actually prevents it, and in certain cases, such as lung cancer, it can reverese the effects caused by harmful agents, ie pollutents, the chemicals in cigarettes...

please read this!

The journal PHARMACOLOGICAL REVIEWS reports that decades of research prove that, "Compared with legal drugs...marijuana does not pose greater risks." Yet based upon mortality statistics, we can safely conclude that cannabis is one of the safest medical drugs known, for, while prescription drugs, defined as safe by the FDA, kill up to 27,000 and aspirin up to 1,000 Americans per year, cannabis kills 0 per year .

When we know the facts we can understand why in 1988, after extensive review of the scientific literature, the DEA's own administrative judge Frances Young concluded that &#96;&#96;Marijuana is one of the safest therapeutically active substances know to man.''

Opponents of legal cannabis access would have us believe that there is not enough research available to determine its safety. Nothing could be further from the truth. Cannabis is one of the most thoroughly researched drugs in history, and the evidence gathered over the centuries clearly proves that it is safe:

* The Indian Hemp Drugs Commission Report (1894): an exhaustive seven-volume, 3,281-page report that concludes: "Moderate [cannabis] use produces practically no ill effects."

* The Panama Canal Military Study (1916-1929), amassing extensive data on the health impact of cannabis smoking upon American soldiers stationed in Panama, recommended that "No steps be taken by the Canal Zone authorities to prevent the sale or use of Marihuana." The research also concluded that, "There is no evidence that Marihuana...is...'habit-forming.'"

* The LaGuardia Report (1939-1944), commissioned by New York City Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia, which included evidence gathered over thousands of years, concluded that "Smoking marihuana does not lead to addiction... does not lead to morphine, heroin, or cocaine addiction" and that "the publicity concerning the catastrophic effects of marihuana smoking in New York City is unfounded."

* The Baroness Wootton Report (1968), commissioned by the Advisory Committee on Drug Dependence of the United Kingdom Home Office, concluded, "There is no evidence that...serious physical dangers are directly associated with the smoking of cannabis." The report also noted that "Cannabis use does not lead to heroin addiction" and that "there is no evidence that [can- nabis]...is producing in otherwise normal people con- ditions of dependence or psychosis, requiring medical treatment."

The HARVARD MEDICAL SCHOOL MENTAL HEALTH LETTER reports the findings of other major cannabis studies:
In three major studies conducted in Jamaica, Costa Rica, and Greece, researchers have compared heavy long-term cannabis users with non-users and found no evidence of intellectual or neurological damage, no changes in personality, and no loss of the will to work or participate in society.
The Jamaican study states that, even as cannabis use in Jamaica "is pervasive" and is used "in heavier quantities with greater THC potency than in the U.S.," its use is "without deleterious social or psychological consequences."

What's more, the three studies cited, the largest human cannabis studies to date, also revealed that heavy long term cannabis users scored slightly higher on IQ tests, had slightly lower rates of illness and cancer, and lived longer on average than non-users. Users also proved to be more relaxed and sociable than non-users . The best evidence indicates, contrary to GovtMedia disinformation, that cannabis is safe and good for you.

In line with the findings of the Panama Canal study and the LaGuardia Report, current research confirms that the addictive potential of cannabis is very low. The journal TRENDS IN PHARMACOLOGICAL SCIENCES states that research shows cannabis has "limited potential for development of...psychological dependence due to the weak reinforcing properties of Delta-9-THC." BRAIN RESEARCH journal observes that "cannabinoid dependence and withdrawal phenomena are minimal."

Research proves that cannabis is nontoxic. For example, in the journal FUNDAMENTAL AND APPLIED TOXICOLOGY , Dr. William Slikker, director of the Neurotoxicology Division of the National Center for Toxicological Research (NCTR), described the health of monkeys exposed to very high levels of cannabis for an extended period:

The general health of the monkeys was not compromised by a year of marijuana exposure as indicated by weight gain, carboxyhemoglobin and clinical chemistry/hematology values.
When THE ARKANSAS TIMES asked Dr. Merle Paule of NCTR about evidence of cannabis toxicity and the health of the monkeys in the study, Dr. Paule said, "There's just nothing there. They were all fine."

The journal TOXICOLOGY LETTERS published a study that found no link between cannabis smoking and lung cancer. The seven researchers in the study concluded:

It has been suggested that marijuana smoking is a proximal cause of respiratory cancer. However, these intimations have not been borne out by epidemiological investigation.
Not only is the evidence linking cannabis smoking to cancer negative, but the largest human studies cited indicated that cannabis users had lower rates of cancer than nonusers. What's more, those who smoked both cannabis and tobacco had lower rates of lung cancer than those who smoked only tobacco -- a strong indication of chemo-prevention. Even more, in 1975 researchers at the Medical College of Virginia found that cannabis showed powerful antitumor activity against both benign and malignant tumors (the government then banned all future cannabis/cancer research) . In fact, the NEW ENGLISH DISPENSATORY of 1764 recommends boiled cannabis roots for the elimination of tumors. Powerful evidence that cannabis not only does not cause cancer, but that it may prevent and even cure cancer.

The few studies that the GovtMedia drums into the public mind over and over, which claim to show that cannabis is a harmful drug, are almost all the work of the the government's top hired gun, Dr. Gabriel Nahas. The NEW ENGLAND JOURNAL OF MEDICINE described Nahas's work as "psychopharmacological McCarthyism that compels him to use half-truths, innuendo and unverified assertions." The JOURNAL OF THE AMERICAN MEDICAL ASSOCIATION also condemned his work, stating, "Examples of biased selection and...omissions of facts abound in every chapter."

YOU R BEING LIED TO BY YOUR OWN GOVERNMENT BECAUSE IT IS BEING LOBBIED BY BIG TOBACCO AND ALCOHOL INDUSTRIES!!!!!!

also, to respond to the 'if I were sick I'd feel different' statement. I have been diagnosed ADHD, OCD, Depression, Bipolar, I am severely allergic to all but one kind of antibiotic, and I have been drugged with a moltov cocktail of medicine ever since I was a kid, often missing a month of school at least every year from gradeschool up. Three years ago I was introduced to cannibis, I have been ill twice since then. The illnesses we are diagnosed with are psychosematic. Please try to meditate and overcome the poison that has been injected into your brain through social programming and bad medicine. If your doc really cared about you his practice would be holistic, not this 'treat the illness, not the patient' bullshit science.

conclusion: smoke weed, be free...you won't get sick

no rebuttles? hehe

meds mess you up guys, no need for synthetics. Finding the natural plant and making a natural extract would be soooo much healthier....most ppl r lazy, though.

I'm not saying weed kills and no one should ever use it, but I personally would rather be myself and not use any type of drug whatsoever to alter my perception.

ok man, I have a bong myself and you cant tell me the stuff that sticks to the walls is'nt harmful...it's impossible to get off unless you use special cleaners...I wont say I dont smoke alittle, but then again I dont want to live to 100, so I do all the harmful stuff within moderation....But enlighten me if you have a natural cure for hypothyroidism, and I dont have the mild version that plaques many people, mine is severe enough that if untreated my organs shut down....Here's the natural routes I've tried....Clean living by cutting out most dairy and meat and supplimenting more iodine rich fish, coconut oil, and natural thyroid hormone from pigs. No avail, do you know any ideas I dont....enlighten me, and considering more and more people are developing this condition in different forms I bet the rest of the world would like you natural answer....I'm still not 100% well with the synthetics I do take, so I'll pretty much try anything that is safe.

Sorry to hear that Jill

I know that even mild cases can be very damaging.....

Yah it sucks, When my levels get too low I get really tired and depressed....That's what's been going on lately....I think that's why I have'nt been lucid dreaming as much....I really have to be strong and not turn to booze and other easy answers to feeling better quick, cause it just interacts with the medicine and makes things worse.