teaching personas, dream premonitions, astral body
This post covers three somewhat unrelated topics. (As a disclaimer, I'm in an exceptionally bad mood today, for reasons not directly related to the subjects here.)
To start with, here's something that's been bothering me today, and for quite a while I guess. Of people who feel called to develop themselves spiritually, most feel called to share ideas or insights with other people. It seems to me that if we were serious about our mission, it would please us when other people join us in it. But if we were joined wholeheartedly and fruitfully, then we would no longer be special as teachers. We would just be people among numerous other people doing what we do, with nothing to set up apart. It seems to me that what's motivating a lot of 'spiritual growth' is desiring to be elevated above other people, as their teachers or benefactors. In that sense the desire isn't to help other people grow, its for them to respect us or reach up to us. In other words, its not really about growth, its about enjoying the tension or differential between more and less advanced people. And that tends to be accompanied by behavior that subtly obstructs the less advanced people as they attempt to join the ranks of the more advanced. And that contradicts the whole ostensible mission.
Probably few people are going to admit to this way of thinking, and that its a problem, but it seems to me to be pervasive. I think that if it wasn't for the perceived self superiority, most spiritual aspirants would lose interest and turn their attention to snowboarding or the stock market or something.
I want to apologize for whatever extent I've done that to any of you. And for any of you who have been playing that game with me and each other, and are disinclined to give it up....I wish you whatever you need for true growth. I'd curse you but I think it would be superfluous.
On that same topic....As I see it, thoughts arise as conditions call for them, likewise for objects and events. We seem to spend a lot of time combating false or misleading thoughts. This seems to me to be about as effective as fighting pornography by shoplifting and burning copies of penthouse. While meanwhile keeping our own penthouse stash at home - after all, it doesn't hurt to have some human entertainment while in the human world fighting offensive media.
On to the next subject....I'm thinking that precognitive dreams are most likely to happen where a future event is becoming in some sense less likely, but the impetus for it is still there. Imagine looking at something through a microscope, or focusing a light through a magnifying glass. When circumstances are changing so that something which was headed towards manifestation is no longer quite going to work out, it seems to me like it becomes somewhat out of focus relative to the physical world. As it gets sort of fragmented and spread out, its easier for us to get parts of it in dreams. So in a way it seems built in for the easiest premonitions to be slightly inaccurate, as reflections of what will almost happen or will sort of happen, not straight on 100% focused visions of what will happen.
More generally, it seems to me that a lot of what we get in dreams is what isn't able to get through in waking life. If we're hiding from something, or missing something, that information that is denied pushes its way through in the dream. In other words that things that want to be real but can't quite become real any other way become real in our dreams. Likewise for variations on future events.
Last week I dream of levitating by astral projecting at the top of stairs. In response to the suggestion that I was out of my body, I replied "maybe". Upon further reflection, the reason the answer was "maybe", is the astral body is a body and also not a body. So neither "yes" or "no" responses would both fail partially, and they fail in a somewhat confusing manner. Confusing to me anyway.
In the same dream sequence, a Pinnocchio-like dildo was asked if he was perfectly homophobic, and he said "maybe". That one had me confused for a while, but the logic is the same as with the astral body riddle.
The next night I had a fairly abstract dream about the universe, which I think I won't try to describe. I felt uplifted because of the scope of it, and the intelligence I sensed behind it. Something new. It was a happy dream. The imagery itself was fairly bleak though, in that there seemed to be no hope for redemption. In the dream we just keep cycling through various modes of enslavement to thuggish gods, there's nowhere to go that's better. I guess I'm experiencing more of the pessimistic side today.
I have the sense that although there wasn't anywhere 'else' in our universe that's better, and although evil is a consequence of the structure of the universe itself, that structure is tied to the way we think about power. And if we change that way of thinking, if its not ultimately compelled by necessity, everything will change. Is that possible? "Maybe."
As I understand the astral projection and tin-man dream, that's a qualified yes.