Blue_Opossum

Morning of December 19, 2017. Tuesday.



This dream occurred during the time we had been trying to sleep, early in the morning, with the roofers having worked on our house in reality, but during their break and when we fell asleep.

In my dream, there is a scene where one of the roofers is actually in our house and I see that he is watching Zsuzsanna sleep. I am not lucid. This annoys me very much, but he soon leaves. Meanwhile, I notice strange features hanging from the ceiling, about three feet from the floor. There are four of them, defining a square’s vertices. They look like vertically flat objects, seemingly made of material such as vinyl, but with the look of a chest of drawers. I do not consider this feature strange even though most of my conscious self identity is extant.

Later, I am looking through our clerestory windows and see two roofers (each one’s face through a different window, the first and third from the left). A lot of black smoke is coming from the first roof tier to the left. Apparently, it is coming from a power tool, but I am vaguely considered that it may be toxic. The other male is looking on. Both look at us at times. This has the essence of a false awakening, and the roofers are starting to make noise in real life by this point.

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This is a typical intruder dream triggered by real environmental sounds and vaguely perceived “intruders” at the time. However, they did not actually come into our house or watch us through our clerestory windows, as this is just the RAS (reticular activating system) mode that functions as such when one is unconscious. (Understanding dreams is not difficult despite most people bizarrely having no clue as to what a dream actually is). I am not lucid in this particular case. Chase dreams are of the same nature, also rendered by way of RAS, which renders the personified preconscious to alert the dreamer into waking, because waking is a biological necessity. It is that simple. (Some people do have too much stress, though, and as such, would likely rather to continue to sleep, which RAS simply will not allow out of biological need.)

Additionally, looking through a window represents the waking space (that is, the liminal space between dreaming and waking). The black smoke (a real-time symbol) symbolizes the nature of being asleep (and has occurred in other dreams as such, including a few positive, even blissful dreams). The unusual hanging features likely relate to the fact I am not “on the ground”. That is, it is a dream state indicator similar to that of “The Hanging Doll” in that it symbolizes my physical body being in bed, though is also linked to my dream’s distorted perception of the four roofers, and their temporary status of being on our home’s roof (as four “floating chests” that have very limited storage for “a longer stay”). I have always found it utterly bizarre that people do not seem to understand that what is going on in a dream is based on being in the dream state itself. How could so many people not be aware of something so obvious?

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The roofers in real life extended and built over our second-tiered roof (pretty much destroying the purpose of a clerestory roof) so that it now blocks the clerestory windows and only ugly rafters are visible. One even said he would come around and board them up from inside. Zsuzsanna told him no, but for people to even do things like this and suggest things like this means that something is apparently “missing” from their mind, an inability to think or understand anything (too much alcohol perhaps? In the DNA?). Zsuzsanna and I have conversations often about what is “missing” from so-called normal people.

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Morning of December 3, 2017. Sunday.



This is a set of two dreams of the same sleeping period that need to be approached and studied as a pair, yet where my dream self in the second dream recalls and designates the first as a dream while supposedly being in a real scenario. My first dream is of my current conscious self identity while the second dream is not, which is very strange unless one fully realizes that the personified subconscious (dream self) has no intelligence or viable memory or awareness of time or space. There were other dreams that occurred between these two without any in-dream recall of either of the other two.

In my first dream, it seems to be late at night. I am in the front room (where my computer is set up in real life), though I am sitting beyond the right end of the desk where I have never sat in reality. My wife Zsuzsanna is also in the room (facing east towards our oldest daughter’s door), closer to the door to our porch. Despite the late time, our youngest son seems to be present as well.

In a short time, our oldest daughter enters the room through her room’s door. She says there is someone (an intruder) in our house who is following her. In the semidarkness, to my left, I vaguely discern a tall male figure also coming through her doorway. I consider that I must act to prevent him from doing any harm (though I do not know his intentions and he does not speak). I lift up my left leg, swinging it to the left as he continues into the room, which causes him to trip over it. This is a very strange event, because I perceive my leg as being almost as long as the width of the room (though my dream self perceives this as normal). Additionally, my sense of touch and momentum greatly increases as I feel the unfamiliar male trip over my elongated leg to fall to the floor. I soon awake with a distorted but vivid awareness of my physical body, with a soft hypnopompic kick.

In my second dream, I am in the back seat of a car, possibly also late at night. I am sitting next to the right window. My father (April 26, 1901-February 14, 1979) is to my immediate left and my mother (July 14, 1916-October 2, 2002) is to his immediate left. They appear as they did in the late 1970s. No one else is in the car. I have no recall that they had died and I seem to be about thirty or younger (though I am fifty-six in reality). I am not sure whose car it is. There is a lot of activity to my right. Across the street is a large two-storey house on the corner. The car is facing the intersection that the house is near, though is across the street from the house. I have a false memory that one of my older half-sisters on my father’s side lives there and that my father’s half-brother (Marvin P) is there with my half-brothers (on my father’s side) as well. (Marvin died in July 1965.) There are about a dozen people in the yard and it seems they are visiting my half-sister.

I talk about my first dream to my father and he nods, saying, “I have those dreams, too”. He goes on to talk about stopping intruders (in his dreams) with his left arm as they come through the doorway and making them fall down. My mother nods and indicates that she has also always had such dreams on a regular basis. My parents seem to have a genuine respect for my interest in dreams.

My parents get out of the car (from the left side) and go around the front of the car to cross the street to visit my father’s relatives. My father seems to want me to go but I decide to stay in the car. I soon wake.

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My first dream is simply a preconscious event with increased RAS dynamics. This means that my dream was rendered solely to create a spontaneous muscle reaction for biological purposes, at least partly to cause partial waking to change my sleeping position. Most of my current conscious self identity is intact here and my physical nature is greatly enhanced in the waking transition. Still, this dream has a real-life source based on an event of years ago when it was our oldest daughter who alerted me to someone “trying to break in”, though that was not actually the case, only that a large rock was thrown at our southwest window.

In my second dream, I am passive and in the back seat of a car, which means I am passive to the preconscious, which is not directly rendered let alone with any conflict. I am on the right, thus I am passively within waking orientation (and in fact, I subliminally choose to wake rather than remain within my dream, which could also relate to a need to change my sleeping position), which explains the passive nature of my dream. Talking with my deceased parents (unremembered as being deceased by my ephemeral dream self) about how they have the same recurring dream factors, while in a non-lucid dream, is intriguing, though without any real relevance. The dynamics of this dream relate to events from when I was only three years old despite the mix of erroneous ages of my parents and me.

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This pair of dreams is just a tiny example of how erroneous and skewed memory is in the dream state to the point of being an unexplainable enigma. In my first dream, I am of my present life in a well-rendered realistic sense. In my second dream, even in treating the first dream as a fully recalled non-lucid dream scenario, especially without realizing I am dreaming in the second, I inexplicably have no recall of my present life in the second dream. (My parents being present do not even trigger any sense of reflecting on my personal status). Yet, how could this really be the case if my first dream was fully of my present life and recalled in my second dream? It is a paradox. Since childhood, I have been trying to work out how such common dream state paradoxes are possible. It simply cannot be resolved in conscious afterthought.

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Morning of October 29, 2017. Sunday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and our children as we appear now are living in a new distortion of the Cubitis house (where I have not lived since 1978 and where Zsuzsanna and our children have never been).

It is unique in that most of the northwest corner of the living room is directly open to outside, additionally with no discernible carport that was there in real life (this alteration never having occurred in any previous dream as all dream settings are unique and different from each other, at least in my lifelong dreaming history), yet also with some sort of set of screen doors (a play on “screening” RAS in this case). It is seemingly nighttime throughout the entire dream. I notice the preconscious (an unknown male of about thirty-five) sitting in a lawn chair in the front yard, at about a forty-five degree angle in facing towards the doors from about fifteen feet away. He has a flashlight or some sort of small lamp. He seems to be cheerful, but I am aggravated by him being in the front yard and watching my family.

As a result of a subliminal dream state awareness, I find myself holding two barbells (without the weights), my weapon of choice in this type of dream, though I typically only have one (though in this case, subliminal dream control seems closer to viable lucidity). I cross the barbells across my chest in an X shape and tell the preconscious to leave my dream and to stop watching my family. However, he phases through the screen door and is then in the living room. Before there is coalescence (waking integration of dream self and emergent consciousness), I somehow trigger a shift (probably by the X over my chest) to where the doorway waking symbolism is decremented.

I then (non-lucidly) create a number of dream servants (all male in this case) who take the preconscious and other characters that had been in the front yard to a zoo that is presumably south of the house by about seven lots (probably near where my brother Earl’s southerly neighbor lived in real life in the mid-1970s).

I have my dream servants take the preconscious and his minions into a “deeper” section of the zoo, behind stacks of possibly empty cardboard boxes (which symbolize parts of the mind or memory that are inactive in the dream state). I am aware that there are a number of large wild animals walking around freely, but I am not within that section. I reason that they (the unwanted male characters) will not be able to leave unless I allow them to. I know there are elephants and rhinoceroses there, the main animals I think about, and I also hear them.

While standing near the empty cardboard boxes, an unusual monkey jumps up on one at about waist height. It walks mostly on all fours and is about the size of a kitten. I consider that it seems like some sort of unlikely miniature baboon rather than a normal monkey or ape. It lightly nibbles on my fingers, which makes me slightly wary at first, but then I decide that it probably will not bite me. Perhaps it is hungry.

As it turns out, it is a kitten, as my oldest daughter’s new pet kitten had been lightly nibbling on my fingers in reality as I was sleeping.

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