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    1. Musical Keyboard Distortions and Distractions

      by , 09-13-2017 at 12:38 PM
      Morning of September 13, 2017. Wednesday.



      The main setting of my dream seems to be a larger variation of our bedroom in the house on Stadcor Street in Brisbane, where we have not lived in years. This seems to be the more dominant awareness of such due to that house’s kitchen being nearby in my dream’s layout and somewhat similar to real life, though there is also a vague association with the southwest Cubitis bedroom.

      In addition to a young version of my wife Zsuzsanna, there are four female “angels” or devoted “dream servants” present, though their behavior is atypical as my dream is non-lucid and they seem like my “protectors” as well (this being a non-lucid subliminal carryover from the nature of apex lucidity and unrelated to my real life). One of them is the (retired) actress Leelee Sobieski, seeming about twenty-five. I eventually become annoyed with her as she seems to have a contrary mindset at one point. I bump into Leelee while I am intimate with Zsuzsanna (while Leelee is facing away from us). This physical contact annoys Leelee and her annoyance annoys me (and makes me suspicious yet not lucid), so I conclude her “devotion” is pretense despite her being a “guardian”. However, any perception of conflict soon fades.

      In a scene in the kitchen, I have an electronic musical keyboard. I am thinking about recording some music for a new track. My mother is now present. (My dream self does not recall that she had died in 2002.) Pressing some of the keys, I see that one of them (seemingly a B key near the center of my keyboard) seems either loose or stuck due to the power cord somehow having been wrapped under the key. My mother tells me that she had done this (though unknowingly causing the problem), which makes me very annoyed as I am not sure if the key can be fixed as it seems broken or at least different in response to the other keys. I still want to play some music.

      I soon notice a tiny hairless creature that I first think is dead. It is lying between the A and B keys near the middle of my keyboard. I feel a sense of disgust in thinking that it may be a small rat fetus. However, over time, it begins to move and then breathe and gasp. “Oh…It’s a dog fetus,” I say aloud to the others present in casual matter-of-fact observation.

      Earl (an older half-brother on my mother’s side) is soon present. (My dream self does not recall that he had died in 2007.) The tiny hairless puppy, not much bigger than my thumb, is making unusual motions with its mouth (reminiscent of the “baby” in the movie “Eraserhead” from 1977). I wonder if it will even live, but I consider that Earl should put it with its mother to suckle. I have a wholly unexplainable false memory that Earl has a small dark gray cairn terrier that is likely its mother. The tiny “puppy” has an unusual brief feature on the top of its head that looks like an angular cap (though without the brim) of the kind a policeman or postman would wear, though it blends in with its head like an actual darker physical feature relating to its minimal fur. I know that my mind is creating this association somehow but it does not trigger lucidity.

      In the last scene, I have a meal with the four “angels”, Zsuzsanna, my mother, and Earl. My keyboard seems unrealistically bigger and oversized, and we seem to be using it as a table. Along with other food, which seems mostly normal to me, I also seem to have eaten much of the puppy except for its head, though the imagery is quite magnified. I feel a bit strange, but then I realize it is not the original puppy, but a “copy” of it, and that the “real” one is with its mother. At this point, my dream becomes more abstract and fades without a direct waking prompt.



      Foundational dream state indicators (no present relevance to real life): Our previous bedroom in Brisbane synthesized with my parents’ bedroom of Cubitis is simply based on concurrent subliminal threads of awareness of having gone to bed and additionally perceiving Zsuzsanna and I as parents.

      There are multiple reasons as to why Leelee Sobieski appeared in this dream, yet all of them unrelated to real-life symbolism and linked directly to the Reticular Activating System and real-time preconscious dynamics of the dream state. Reason number one stems from having briefly and randomly looked at details on IMDb of the 2007 movie “Walk All Over Me”. I only watched the first few minutes (and will watch it later with Zsuzsanna). She plays Alberta and appears as a cashier in the first few minutes, and the preconscious sometimes takes the form of a cashier to symbolize “checking out” of the dream state (as a lifelong recognized RAS function). Reason number two stems from her role in the 1998 movie “Deep Impact”, which has a theme analogous to the cessation of the dream state (“end of the world” association, symbolically unrelated to real life in this case). Reason number three comes from her role as Joan of Arc as associated with “divine voices and visions” and being in the dream state. Reason number four stems from her no longer being in movies as analogous to the waking precursor (“watching movies” as analogous to dreaming, though there may also be a play on “retired” as in going to bed).

      The power cord wrapped under the key is a dream state indicator (unrelated to present waking life) that no pretend “dream interpreter” could possibly have a clue about. Here is why: When I lived in America, I sometimes used to script dreams in real time by using affirmations in a digital sampling keyboard and did in fact, cause a key to stay down with the power cord holding it. In fact, the irony of this plays off of itself. In one real-time scripted vivid dream when I was young, I was distracted in trying to find the real audio source in order to turn it off. I was in a hallway with various doors and could not tell where the real sound was coming from. This is possibly one of the most hilarious failures of critical thinking skills in an otherwise vivid lucid dream.

      The last part of my dream is based on new ideas in my approach to newer music (as symbolized by the puppy needing to develop more). It is also an odd form of coalescence in “feeding off” my dream state (and the dream self coalescing back into consciousness). Also, as in uncountable past dreams, I was vaguely aware that I was consciously creating my dream (even though I was not lucid in any viable way), mostly only vaguely discernible in the scene where my focus on the “dead rat fetus” willed it to change into the living tiny hairless puppy. The focus on it coming to life and breathing relates to both waking up and very mild sleep apnea that is usually not a problem for me. Additionally, there are “end markers” here I do not typically go into detail about in an entry. For example, the B key represents the end of an octave and where there is no black key to the right of it, as a play on coming out of the unconscious state of dreaming, no more liminal space implied by the next white C key after the white B key.


    2. Dream Sign Driving and Lion Cub in La Crosse

      by , 01-14-2017 at 07:14 AM
      Morning of January 14, 2017. Saturday.



      I am in La Crosse and in the house next door to the King Street boarding house. There is some sort of party going on, possibly a high school graduation party, and it is at night. Zsuzsanna is there but as a teenager though is the only person I recognize. See seems a bit tired and I ask her if she wants to sleep in my bed (which turns out to be at an unknown residence but implied to be where I live). It feels as if we have not been together as a married couple yet, though she is passive towards me.

      We walk northwest from the house until we come to my fictional red 1922 Phaeton (a “dream car” that has not featured in my dreams for quite some time) in a commercial district. Its appearance is different as if perhaps an older model and its top is down. Curiously, there does not seem to be a steering wheel, though this does not serve to be a deterrent. I tell her to get in the car and I sit in the area behind where the steering wheel should be. As is often the case, I have difficulty in trying to fit in the vehicle. Still, after some adjustments (where the car even seems to expand slightly), it works out okay.

      We end up in an unfamiliar bedroom. A playful lion cub is present and so is a puppy (though the puppy of which I do not see much and which does not go onto the bed as the lion cub does). The lion cub makes small messes over the entire bed (to a very unrealistic extent) and I tell Zsuzsanna that I have to take the top blanket off and I am somewhat annoyed. It does not seem unusual to have either a puppy or a lion cub in my (fictional) house.

      • The appearance of the red 1922 Phaeton goes all the way back to early childhood, when I dreamt my father was a car.
      • I have not been on King Street since January 1994. I did not know any people who lived in the house next to the boarding house though I did paint some of the inside for the owner.
      • The lion is a recurring waking prompt and coalescence symbol (as it can swallow the dreamer back into whole consciousness) and is also a type of dream sign (as from the 1897 “Sleeping Gypsy” painting by Henri Rousseau). Here however, it is only a cub, but the obvious dream sign of the bed already serves as a waking transition factor. This specific rendering is a connection with having to wake up to use the bathroom.
      • The missing steering wheel is an invitation to lucidity (and implies liminal dream state awareness), whereby the car is my dream “vehicle” as an extension of my physical body (which is also called a “vehicle”) in sleep but without an active conscious self awareness as in normal lucid dreams to “steer” my dream with a more viable conscious choice (though liminal dream control occurs with me very often - I am just not aware I am dreaming). I am still able to resolve the beginning intent to a point. A car with no steering wheel also correlates with vestibular system dynamics and the liminal awareness of the inability to control the physical body while sleeping.
      • Even though bed dream signs are quite common in my dreams (and always have been since early childhood), I rarely pick up on them directly for active lucidity, though a bed implies the waking space of a dream (liminal awareness of being asleep).


      Updated 05-18-2018 at 04:37 PM by 1390

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      non-lucid