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    Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

    No order or method to the madness, just random dreams that I found interesting and worth keeping track of.

    1. Lobsters Un-Masked

      by , 02-14-2015 at 04:37 AM (Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness)
      I have a job where I have to cut the tails off of lobsters to sell them to people... I am shown how to do it, but really don't want to do that to any lobster. It looks too painful. I look back at the lobsters and see through the normal reality of things. I see a female lobster as in actuality a fairy riding a red dragon through the ocean. Then a male fairy, also riding a red sea dragon comes over and gives her a dandelion puff flower. They pass it between themselves using a dried cone flower, and swim off into the sunset. The guy jokingly launches a jet of water at her, pretending to try and soak the dandelion, but always misses.
    2. Drawing!

      by , 02-14-2015 at 03:58 AM (Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness)
      I'm trapped inside a long building with a tornado approaching. I'm safe in here, but I learn that there is a group of people outside. They're trapped out there, and in great danger. So I draw a picture that turns into reality - covering all the ground in foam. They are imposed on the picture, but the ink for their eyes bleeds because it is fresh. I add a vicious zeebra/dog just for fun. Then I flood the world with invisible water, and drop the water level down to my chest. I can breathe underwater, but just in case others can't, I drop the water level again to below the entrance to the safe building.
    3. True Love: Unlocked by Water-Bow

      by , 08-05-2014 at 01:33 PM (Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness)
      Inside a large indoor pool area, there is an extravagant show being performed with several attractive female divers, all dressed up with large winged costumes, and lots of sparkles, but definitely in just bathing suits underneath the fancy stuff. I sit down next to a glass table, mildly interested in the show, an announcer barely heard in the background. A cardboard box flap pokes me annoyingly in the arm, sort of stuck between my arm and the table. I lift my arm up to free the flap and move the box, just exactly as the announcer asks if there are any volunteers from the audience. He looks right at me as my arm is in the air, and waves me forward.

      Panic stricken, I slowly stand up and wave at everyone. Some assistants escort me to the stage near the pool, below the 8 or so attractive divers. I guess I wasn't really paying attention at all. It turns out that there are other volunteers as well, and we are going to take part in some sort of competition against each other with the help of the women above. One volunteer per diver. We are lead up to their platforms with very little instruction as the announcer excites the audience for what's about to happen. The diver I'm standing with is just about my height, and very tan, like she comes from a country where it's just normal to be very tan. Actually, even more beautiful up close. I try not to get too distracted. Our eyes meet, and we smile at each other. Basically everything she's wearing is sparkling at this point.

      She informs me that we are doing a trick-dive competition, and I am to go just ahead of her, and support her from below the water, while upside down as she stands on my feet. If she weren't so pretty, I would normally hesitate a bit, but don't even think twice. We get the signal, and I jump off the 100 ft tall platform, face first, and dive deep into the pool. Holding my breath, I feel her land gently on my feet, and dance or something, I can't really see. Then she tugs me up to the surface. Relieved, I take a huge breath at the surface as we swim to the edge of the pool.

      Round two is basically the same. Apparently, one team was eliminated that first time, and we are to do that again. This time, my shorts ride up too far for this kind of show, and quickly get everything back inside before exiting the pool. A few more rounds pass like that, with me just thrilled to be with this girl.

      Now, standing atop the platform, I notice we're the only team. It is the final challenge. We must do something difficult to win a worthy prize. I don't really know what to do. I'm lucky enough not to die upon impact when I hit the water, let alone do anything fancy. The girl up there with me just tells me to hold my breath for a while, and she'll do the work up top.

      We jump, and it seems like I'm falling in slow motion this time. I take a huge breath of air, but realize I was a bit too early, so I let it out fast and take another huge breath immediately before I hit the water. For some reason, I am immediately out of breath, despite the huge breath I just took. It's not that big a deal though, just uncomfortable, and I can push through it for some time. It gets more uncomfortable, but still bearable.

      The pressure on my feet from her standing on me is lifted, and I see her dive down next to me. I return right side up, but no longer need to breathe under water. We can talk underwater now as well, but that's just normal. She tells me that we've won, and has a huge smile on her face. She gives me a big hug, and then we both look over at a giant treasure chest that is sinking to the bottom, together with a large ornate crown and a really fancy looking decorative bow. I put the crown on her head and tell her she deserves it because she did all the work. It makes her look even more beautiful.

      Picking up the bow, I draw it back to full power and tell her something about it being a really cool bow. Probably endows the user with some sort of power or something like that. A look of terror quickly comes over her face as she reaches out to stop me from dry firing it (wet firing it?), yelling something like it's going to kill me. But too late, I let go of the cord, and the two of us watch the pressure wave float toward the treasure chest. It hits it, and breaks the lock open. That wasn't supposed to be able to happen That treasure chest was magically sealed, and only certain people were to be able to open it. Plus, the bow was cursed, and was supposed to harm the user. I wasn't even aiming at the treasure chest at all, I was more focused on showing off the bow than anything.

      Inside this treasure chest, amidst the gold lining, and shiny gold plated walls of the box, all glowing radiantly, is true love. Sweet, I've found true love! I look over at the girl, and kind of doubt it's her. She's not really my type, but what the hell, if it's true love, that's good enough for me. We hug again and look into each others' eyes, still speechless in amazement of what just happened.
    4. Magic and Climbing through Intense Waterfall

      by , 07-30-2014 at 03:46 PM (Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness)
      I stand before a mighty king, surrounded by his advisers. We are all in front of a small wooden building, surrounded by strong stone walls, all sitting atop a tall plateau in the middle of a desert. There is a woman next to him who appears to be some sort of necromancer. I talk to her, and am able to receive visions of exactly what the surrounding area looks like. It seems to work by flying my field of view radially outward in a straight line at any angle I wish. I spy to the West, and see not much but sand. Snapping back to myself, I do it again, but a little South-West this time, and see a giant cave, with a huge demon beast guarding it, and some sort of portal inside. There are smaller demons surrounding him, and the whole area sits in a large crater with a tall ridge around it.

      Suddenly, I am teleported to the edge of the sandy crater. Terrified of these demons, they are much stronger than I am, and I have no ability right now to fight them, I try not to get too close. Still curious about what else is around here, I look around, and peer over the top of the crater's edge. A giant half boar, half human creature wielding an axe spots me, and starts jogging in my direction. I turn to run, and see the woman who summoned me here just floating ahead of me, about 10 ft above the hot sand, smiling with a mischievous grin as she watches me run for my life. She gets the attention of a few giant animated skeletons, and sends them to attack me as well.

      "Clearly, we have been deceived by her, as she is helping these demon creatures more than us." I think, as I run for my life back toward the stronghold. She morphs me into a wolf so I can run faster, but then casts a spell on me, that slows me down even more so than I was going before. Cackling with her head back as she does so, she slowly floats behind me, amused by my struggle. Still determined to make it to safety, I push on, and will myself to still be faster than my pursuers.

      It works, and I manage to climb up a rocky cliff next to a waterfall, out of reach of the skeletons and boar thing. They don't seem to want to climb at all. The waterfall is coming from a river that flows through the stronghold, so this is a potential entry point to a safer location. I sense that my mom would want me to just climb back down, and use the side entrance gate, but that seems too risky with those beasts down there. Plus, this looks like an easy climb. I see that there is a 2 ft wide ridge, one side - a raging waterfall, the other side - a steep plummet to death. Stakes being a little high, I play it safe, and crawl forward on all fours, hugging the ridge as I make my way up.

      The going gets much steeper, and I have to climb more than crawl. Still pretty easy though. Then, without warning, the waterfall surges strongly, overflowing the side of the cliff bank that I'm climbing on - nearly knocking me off. I pull a few boulders loose as I struggle to hang on, and hear them crash down the cliff, breaking other rocks away as they fall. The surge dies down, and I climb onward. One hand in front of the other, I pull myself up the edge. The incline lessens to about 60 degrees from horizontal as I near the summit. Right when I feel like I've made it, another massive surge comes out of no where, stronger than the last. I hold on to what seem like strong hand holds, but they pull loose from the ground. My footing also breaks loose as the water pushes me back. Determined to make it, I push my hands deep into the sand, up to my forearms, and hold myself in place.

      The water, now covering me up to my shoulders, I feel very precariously stuck in this spot. Barely able to keep from being pushed down to my death, if I life a hand or a foot to make any forward motion, I will not have enough traction to keep myself in place against the force of the water. A woman in the stronghold sees me, and runs to get help. Two young kids walk up to me. They look like they're between 4 and 6 years old. The girl is dressed in a red dress, and the boy is wearing all blue. They just look at me calmly and smile from the grassy flat plateau just above me.

      I feel my grip start to move in the sand, and know that help won't be here in time. I kick myself forward, using just my calves, and claw by just flexing my fingers, and in this way, painfully make slow forward progress. But it works! Another big wave of water hits me, but I continue to crawl forward and make it, cresting the ledge to safety.

      The kids immediately take the form of West Highlander White Terrier dogs. They wear vests of the same color they had on before: the girl in red, the boy in blue. I recognize them now as enlightened beings, and thank them for helping me find the strength to survive and make it to safety. I hug the boy, and he bites me in the face, one of his teeth pulling at my right eyelid! I recoil, turning away and stepping back. I hug the girl dog, and she is much nicer, wags her tail, and licks me. I pet the boy dog, and he tries to bite me again. I don't understand why yet, but I still know they're enlightened beings and are helping me in some way, even if I can't understand it yet.

      I walk up to the main stronghold area to where the king was before, and find him talking to the woman from earlier. He seems to now be aware that she is a spy, but is planning to use her for scouting the nearby terrain anyway. He tells her that she must explore the Southern and South-Eastern coasts of the huge island we are on. I watch as he gestures to the particular areas on an animal skin map, that is divided into named zones. As he gestures to it, new zones appear. He tells her, "Also, make sure you go South, to Dakota. Not South-Dakota, but New-Dakota, which is just North of Dakota." On the map, a glowing green line of light appears, outlining two new Dakota areas, one of which is then labeled as "New Dakota".
    5. Victory over Fear - Congratulated by Satan

      by , 05-18-2014 at 08:25 AM (Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness)
      Walking home, I must cross a big river to get to the other side. Normally I would just jump across the narrow part here, which although narrow for the river, is about as far as I can jump. Today however, the river is 4 times wider, and raging like it's alive and angry. I recall there is a bridge up-stream, and take a short cut off the trail to cut a big corner out of the path. I slide down a steep hill, and continue toward the bridge.

      Panicking, I see that the river has jumped its banks, and this short cut is not impossible. It leads directly to a dead-end cliff-like hill about 40 feet high, very close to the river, and where I just came from is also too steep to return. I have to jump out of the way of a few rogue waves that leap out from the others. There are some massive waves in this river, each one nearly knocks me into it.

      There is some really long, thick grass growing up the side of this steep hill (basically an 85 degree angle with flat ground). I grab fist fulls of the grass, and begin my near vertical assent back to the road up above. It's really easy with all this grass! As I near the crest, there is no more grass, and the ground is very loose. Large chunks of earth fall out from beneath me. I scramble to regain my grip and my footing, but each spot I hold onto quickly crumbles away, digging the cliff summit out to be even steeper.

      I am soo close to the top, I can put my hand on there, but only to pull the earth loose. I see a woman walking by, and greet her to avoid surprising her by being so close to the path, and right at foot level where she wouldn't see me until super close. She looks at me with a disgusted look that says, 'This guy is a typical risk taker' and says "Rock climbers...." with a big sign as she walks off quickly.

      Disappointed that she didn't help me, nor grasp the seriousness of the situation I'm in, I continue to struggle not to fall. Looking back briefly, I see that if I fall, I will land directly into the river that has now changed course to be right below me. I also recall how never in my life have I been able to climb over a steep crest - the rock wall at summer camp, the 2 mile high cliff in my back yard, the ridge on top of the mountain - in every case, I failed to make it. It's just impossible for me.

      Deciding to give it everything I've got, I try to summit to my left, but literally pull every possible hand hold loose so there is nothing more to grab onto. I try the right, and lose my grip as I rip away fist fulls of loose dirt and fall backwards. Managing to wedge my toes into a crack, I use my shin muscles to pull myself 30 degrees back to the cliff. Phew, close call! Now making sure I have good foot placement, I try to summit to the right again. Everything is pulling loose! I reach the very end of the line, nothing left to try, except a smooth, vertical rock to my right. No way to get a good grip on it at all. I split my force evenly between all fours, hands and feet, none of which are in a safe, secure spot in case I slip. Dangerously vulnerable, I continuously have to shift each hold, and scramble. I imagine making it successfully, and gently, but continuously shift my placement as I make slow progress. My head passes above the crest, but it is still steep!

      I push and pull, feeling really off balance, and get my torso above the crest. To my amazement, I reach the top. "Sure footing here!"

      No sooner do I reach the top, than I have a vision of Satan himself telling me in a deep demonic voice, "Congratulations, this is the first time you ever passed this test". Unsure why Satan is congratulating me, I am happy to have made it this time. A true victory over my fears.

      I continue down the path, cross the bridge, and end up at my friend's mom's house. I'm get along better with her mom, so I'm not disappointed when just her mom is home. I find her testing her new home security system. She demos it for me. There is a massive vault door, with a huge lock on it. She tells me "if someone breeches the door, this is what happens..." and pushes a button on a remote. A siren plays loudly, blue and white lights flash, and inside the safe room, sitting at a desk, looking at a laptop screen, facing toward us, is a goat. Judging by the sounds coming from the laptop (goat noises), the goat is watching goat on goat porn. The goat has an intense focused look on his face as he stares into the screen, lightly illuminated by the video. I find it hilarious.

      We walk into the kitchen for dinner. She offers me food and starts to eat. I already have a full plate. "I'll start with the water" I tell her, being polite, and wanting to wait until her daughter returns so we can eat together. I also want to tell her about my successful summit of the cliff, but want to wait so I can tell them both at the same time.
      Tags: fear, goats, satan, water
      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable