Hyu's Adventures

I'm browsing DreamViews on my PC. I think that I am currently doing my WBTB.
There is something important I need to ask ~ Dreamer ~, but I cannot quite remember what it is.
I have the private message site open, trying to remember what it is I wanted to say.
Then, I spot some movement from the corner of my eye.
I could have sworn that ~ Dreamer ~'s Avatar just winked at me.


After some initial confusion, I think that she must have changed her Avatar to an animated gif, which does just that.
I think it is a pretty hilarious idea, because it is going to catch people off guard.
It might get people to RC if they notice...
I try to increase my awareness, given what just happened.
Hmm...
That avatar does look somewhat suspicious.
I poke it with my finger.
The avatar giggles and moves further into the screen a little.

"... Hello?"

The avatar then proceeds to climb outside of the screen and eventually ends up on my desk, still giggling.
It is so cute. But I resist the urge to poke it again.
The avatar points towards my left. I turn around.
~ Dreamer ~ is standing right next to me!
This comes as one hell of a shock. I immediately stand up.
I was in a semi-lucid state, but now, in the blink of an eye, I am fully lucid.

I run my fingers over the palm of my left hand to check my senses.
Everything is crystal clear. I can feel the individual patterns on my skin.
I haven't had a dream this clear in some time...
Oh... right... Dreamer!

"Hi..."

Really? That's all that I can come up with? "Hi"?
Well, I suppose I'm still a bit in shock from her sudden appearance.
She smiles.

"Hi Hyu."

I try to calm down a little. I point at my monitor.
Her voice is very soft, so I decide to reply softly as well.

"That was one hell of a trick."
"Which trick?"

I look at my monitors, and they are all blank now, with a purple haze around the corners.
This has happened many times before. I don't worry about it.
There is no sign of the Avatar.

"You made me realize that I am dreaming."
"Yes."

This is amazing! And the dream is so vivid and clear!

"Hyu, do you remember my dare?"

I wouldn't have remembered that on my own.
Lucid Dares

"I am to confront Faye."
"Yes. It is time to solve this once and for all."
"Yes... it is."

But you're right here in my dream.
I want to talk with you about all sorts of things.

"Go now. Faye awaits you."

She points towards the door leading out of my room. It becomes clear that Faye awaits me behind it.
I suppose ~ Dreamer ~ has a better grasp on priorities than I do. She is right.
The dream is so clear and stable, I need to use it to confront Faye.

"Thank you!"

~ Dreamer ~ winks at me, just like her avatar did, and then slowly fades away. Wow... what an amazing encounter.
I approach the door, but hesitate a moment before opening it.
I assert again that the dream is perfectly stable, and that my head is clear.
Yes, I am. Though I'm not entirely sure what to say yet. But that's okay, I'll figure it out on the fly.
I open the door with confidence, expecting to encounter Faye behind it.


To my surprise, this new room that I've just entered looks like some sort of an interrogation room.
One table, two chairs facing each other, and a big, probably one sided mirror.
Faye sits in one of the chairs waiting for me.
I'm not off to a good start. Not only does Faye look like Kate again, but I really dislike that this is an interrogation room.
I can understand why this happened though. It must have been caused by my determination to get answers from her.
I sit in the other chair and try to smile.

"Hello Faye."

She doesn't answer. She just stares down at her hands which are on the desk.
That's alright. I'll talk for now.
I recall positive memories we shared together. I retell those stories. (Unfortunately I don't remember this part of the conversation well)
But I can't seem to get any reaction out of her.
I gently grab her hands. She finally looks me in the eyes.

"I miss you Faye."
"We had so much fun together. I want to go on adventures with you again."
"..."
"The Faye that you remember is dead."
"..."
"I understand... What do you want?"
"No. You don't understand. And what I want..."

She smiles.

"I will destroy you. I will destroy us both."

She plays with a butterfly knife a little, then shows me the palm of her left hand, and then cuts right across it.
I can feel the cut in my left hand clearly. I look at it, and I have the same wound Faye has. We're both bleeding a little.

"You and I we are the same. We've always been."
"What has changed?"
"There is darkness within you. I am that darkness now."
"Nothing you do can stop me now."

This is not what I wanted to hear. But I suppose deep down, I already knew that things would never return to the way they were.
She also made it quite clear that I cannot remove her by force. What do I do now?
... first of all, I need a change of scenery. This interrogation room is inappropriate, it probably plays right into her hands.
Teraluna it is. I stand up and use the wing technique to teleport to Riven. Faye follows me. We are on a bridge close to Yuya's place.
She's no longer looking like Kate. She's looking the same way she did when we first met. She shows me her knife and says.

"I will never let you be with Yuya again."

I can see Yuya in the distance. She reads my thoughts. I make it clear that now is not a good moment to come over. She understands.
I look at the horizon. The gas giant that we are orbiting is experiencing a huge storm. It is quite beautiful.
This change of scenery was a good idea. I feel refreshed. And I know what I have to do...

"Oh Faye..."
"When I look at you, I remember all the good times we've had together."
"I will cherish those memories. I'll always remember you as the person you were, not as the person you have become."
"Whatever it is you are trying to do. It is not going to work."

I just smile. It is a genuine smile. I truly do cherish those memories.
And what I am about to say is going to hurt. But I know that it is the only way out.

"Faye... you are right. You always are. You and I, we are the same. And there is darkness within me... I do understand that."
"You do not... you have no idea. It will destroy you. I will destroy you."
"I know."
"No."
"You see, I've done a terrible thing."
"..."
"I didn't see what was wrong. I couldn't understand. So I have channelled all that darkness; all what was wrong, into a single dream character."
"You're making this up..."
"I needed for it to have a face. So that I could clearly identify..."
"These lies will not work on me!"
"Faye, I am sorry. I did not do this consciously. But it is all clear to me now."
"You are all that remains of that darkness. I will have to let you go..."
"No... I am your dream guide!"

Her voice has become faint. I can see fear and sadness in her now.
Is this truly the explanation I believe in?

"Faye is no longer here... My dream guide is dead."

I touch her face... one last time. I look deeply into her eyes. I can see nothing within them. You are no longer Faye.
Was it my fault that she ended up like this? Or was it beyond my control? I will never know.
But this is the only choice I have left. I take a step back... and then I let go...

"Goodbye Faye..."

She closes her eyes... and slowly fades into dust. The wind takes her away until nothing is left. Faye is gone.
Have I done the right thing? Was this really the only way?
Yuya approaches and hugs me. I hold her tightly.
I can feel her thoughts, her emotions, how helpless she felt, because this is not something she could help me with.
This was something I needed to solve on my own.

"Did I do the right thing?"

She gently answers:

"What do you think?"
"I think so... but I cannot shake the feeling that I may have taken the only path, rather than the right one."
"When there is only one path, is it not by definition always the right one?"
"Well..."
"Worry not. This was the choice you needed to make."

And suddenly I feel such relief. Like all the weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My dreams are mine again.
Yuya rarely gives me such a straight up answer. Instead she helps me to find my own.
But this time I needed to hear it from her.
I am so happy to be with her again.

We walk through her gardens, knowing that my dream will soon end. That is fine. I am exhausted.
I know that I can now visit Yuya again whenever I desire. That is what is most important.
But Faye is gone. Forever.

I'm at university attending a lecture about the basics of OpenGL.
The teacher doesn't really seem into it, and none of my classmates seem interested.
To be honest, neither am I, but for a different reason.
The other students are not interested in graphics programming,
whereas I'm already quite comfortable with both Direct3D and OpenGL.
Why am I attending this class again? Perhaps for some easy credit points?
That doesn't sound like me though.

Once class is over, I hear some people discussing that they wouldn't come back
and choose another course instead. If that many people leave, this course is
going to be cancelled, and I'll have to find another one as well.
I'm mildly annoyed.

Eventually, as the lecture comes to an end, I suddenly realize that I am dreaming.
I'm not sure what gave it away.
I touch everything in close vicinity to assert that the dream is stable.
There is some initial numbness, but eventually my senses appear to be working properly.
I leave the classroom, trying to remember my dream goals...
It's not working, I can't remember anything.

I'll go visit Yuya. It has been a long time since I've seen her because Faye is messing with my dreams.
But then, just as I want to teleport to Riven, I spot a familiar face.

It's Kate! What is going on? Why is she here?
(Not a real image of Kate. Kate is an ex-gf from waking life)

She smiles. And that is all it takes to stir up old emotions, which I left behind long ago.
I'm in love again. Great... I had enough trouble getting over her as it is.
Why does it all have to come back to me now?
I reluctantly decide to ignore her and visit Yuya, as I had planned,
but something goes wrong during my attempt of teleportation...



... I'm in an apartment with Kate. I think that she is my classmate now, and that we're living together.
This is our apartment. Everything is perfect.
I am living with the woman of my dreams, we're both about to graduate,
and we have our future planned out.
It is late in the evening and I go to the bathroom to take a shower.
The water temperature knob isn't cooperating.
I seem to be dealing with something like this:


Kate joins me in the shower and she has no trouble adjusting the temperature properly.
The water is now refreshingly cold, just the way I like it.
Kate moves closer and kisses me passionately. I love her so much.
And she is so beautiful. I stare into her green eyes as we kiss...
Wait... this is not right. Those are clearly Kate's eyes, but... they feel... empty?
Oh no...
Why?
I am emotionally devastated...

This isn't Kate. This is Faye.
It feels as though I've lost Kate again. I am so sad.


Faye is now holding a rose and handing it to me.
I get the feeling that she is trying to apologize?
That does make feel a little better. Will I finally be able to reason with Faye?
I take the rose. I cut one of my fingers on a thorn. Ouch!
A single drop of blood emerges and falls to the ground.

Something is wrong...
I sense something moving through the small cut, into my hand, and then up my arm.
I get vivid flashbacks of the bee birthing blisters. Not again!
I drop the rose. But I'm too late.
Stems covered in thorns grow through my veins and sprout out of my body in various places, causing me to bleed.
More and more blood flows down into the shower. The water slowly turns red.

"Faye. Please make it stop!"
"No."
"..."
"Please! I'm sure whatever the problem is, I can fix it."
"There is no need for this!"
"I don't want the problem to be fixed."

What? Why? I don't understand.
I just barely manage not to freak out. The parasitic plant hardens in my veins making me unable to move.
The pain increases as the plant grows bigger.
Fuck fuck fuck.

"Faye! Talk to me! What is the problem?"

She doesn't reply. She just smiles, satisfied with the current situation.
I can't take it any more. I need to wake up!
I close my eyes, trying to think of my waking body lying in bed.
But I don't wake up...
Instead I begin to see, even though my eyes are closed.

She laughs at me and my inability to do anything.
Then she moves in and kisses me on the lips.
No. I don't want this.
My fear turns into anger.
I scream at the top of my lungs, wanting to push Faye away from me.
The hardened plant finally gives in under the force and breaks in many places within my body.
I push against Faye hard with both of my hands.
She is pushed through the glass shower door, which shatters into pieces.

She is cut in many places by the broken glass. She is bleeding and her blood mixes with mine on the floor.
This is so fucked up. She still looks like Kate. This is not right. I don't want to hurt her.
She again laughs at the current situation. She clearly feels like she has accomplished something.
She is satisfied. Finally, she gets up and leaves the room and I manage to wake myself up.

Well fuck. -_-
This is enough. This needs to change. Now.
I'm going to WBTB, probably do some meditation to focus my thoughts, WILD and tackle the problem with a hopefully clear head.

To mention something a little more positive, I have updated my Dream Journal Description.
I've also found this really cool painting by Sakimichan, which made me think of Yuya:

She obviously doesn't have the long pointy ears, but I thought that this painting just radiates so much energy, just as Yuya does.
There's also been a strong blue/orange theme in my dreams lately. I thought this was a pretty cool find.

I set myself an alarm to wake me up after ~6 hours of sleep.
The idea was to attempt a WILD, which is something I haven't done in a long time.
I figured with a WILD I would remember my goals more easily, and I might be able to tackle the issues I have with Faye.

I wake up from the alarm. I immediately close my eyes again and try to remember any dreams.
All I can remember is a few weak fragments. I do not bother writing them down.
Instead I get up and walk around in my room a little, thinking about my dream goals.
The most important thing would be to deal with Faye. I feel like this is crucial in order to fix my dreams.
I've also been dared to tell her how she makes me feel.
I go back to bed after roughly 5 minutes and attempt to WILD.

I quickly get some HI, followed by the appearance of random faces.
Some scenes begin to form, but they seem to fall apart before I can transition.
I open my eyes a few times by accident. I'm really not used to do this anymore.

After some time I notice that I can see my room even though my eyes are still closed.
Oh. I am actually already dreaming. For some reason I decide to just stand up, even though I know that I've lost many lucids by doing this.
Fortunately this time it works. My body is really heavy though.
I have a lot of trouble moving, but I eventually manage to stand up.

I shake myself, a bit like a dog shaking away water from its wet pelt. Except I shake away the weight. It works. Neat!
I rub my hands together and look around.
I'm not in my room anymore. It's really dark.
Upon closer inspection, I appear to be standing on some dark marble floor, in an empty room that is clouded in dark fog.
Another person appears in front of me. First it's just an outline, but as he comes closer he looks more and more like a normal human being.

Wait what? He looks exactly like me!
I take a step back as I'm really creeped out. I am super uncomfortable encountering myself.
He looks a bit older than myself though... maybe by a few years.

"Who are you?"
"I am Hyu"

Great...

"You're not being helpful."
"Haha, I'm a future version of yourself, of course!"

Right...
So now what? Am I supposed to ask him something?
I probably should. Even though he's still creeping me out...

"So... any future advice for me?"
"Hmm... well... not really."
"Dude!"
"Alright, alright. I can tell you that it is going to work out. Is that helpful?"
"What is going to work out?"
"You'll know."
"Oh for fucks sake, you're pulling the same shit as all of the other DC's"
"Well. What did you expect? I am a DC."
"... you do have a point..."

He starts to walk away from me, but just before he disappears in the fog he addresses me one last time:

"On second thought... maybe you should get that Unreal 4 license. Mess around with it a little you know?"

(I have thought so much about starting my own company over the past few days. Was this what he was referring to when he said that everything would work out?
The comment about getting a UE4 license seems related to this.)

The black fog suddenly starts to move in. Oh shit, the dream is falling apart.
I panic and slam my palms against the ground yelling "PORTAL!".
For some reason this works. I fall through the ground, spin around a little and then crash land somewhere in the city.
I rub my hands against each other very hard. The dream is still unstable, I need to engage my senses.
A young girl eating some ice cream catches my attention. I steal her ice cream cone and take a large bite.

"Hey! That's MY ice cream!"
"Sorry, I need to stabilize."
"Oh, okay."

After the inevitable brain freeze I feel like messing around with dream powers a little.
I don't do this very often. I try to grasp onto the clouds and squeeze them to make it rain.
It doesn't work whatsoever. Well, this is disappointing, but I'm not sure what I was expecting.


Then I notice the presence of a huge stargate. That wasn't here before!
I want to visit Yuya! I point at it and yell:

"Teraluna, Riven!"

The gate dials in and opens a portal. Well, that was easy. Sweet!
I charge at the portal, wanting to jump through.
But at the last moment someone grabs on to me, trying to hold me back.
What the hell? Go away!
...
I can't unsummon him??? WTF? This never fails!
More people run at me, all trying to prevent me from going through the portal.
Oh my god there is an endless stream of them. Hundreds of people all holding me down.

I use my dream powers to release a shockwave to get them off me.
Those who were close to me are thrown a few meters back and they pile up on top of each other.
Then I spot Faye in the middle of it all, controlling the DC's like puppets.
Her smile is pure evil.
She makes a gesture, and the stargate unsummons.

"You're not going anywhere tonight."

I am afraid of her, and angry at myself. I want my dreams back. I am sick of this Faye nonsense.
My katana materializes in my hand, even though I have no desire to summon it.

"Cute."

Faye summons an exact copy of my katana... how...?
This is not right. She can't do that. She doesn't have that power.
Are these her dreams now? Have I lost all control over them?
My desire to visit Yuya fades. I want this dream to end. I feel completely powerless.

"Aww, I thought you would put up a fight. That would have been so cute."
"And oh so idiotic. You don't understand anything."

I have no reply. I close my eyes. This will end the dream...


... I'm in some sort of japanese garden. Probably sight seeing or something? I'm with a few other people. (3 I think)
Everyone is talking about dreams, so I conclude that they must all be DV members.
But I don't understand what they're talking about. Some induction techniques involving butterflies? What?
I feel bad because I can't contribute anything to the discussion.

Then I notice that one of them has purple hair, so obviously she must be ~ Dreamer ~.
I'm somewhat proud of having figured that out all on my own!
I want to do something to impress her. I want to show her something really cool.
And then I have the most glorious of ideas! I am going to use my dream powers to piss a rainbow!
(Oh god why . By the way I'm totally blaming KristaNicole for this. XD)

"Hey Dreamer, check this out!"

I unzip my pants, point my dick upwards at a 45° angle for maximum efficiency and commence some high pressure pissing.
The stream of piss is nothing short of impressive, but it doesn't create a rainbow.
Everyone is giving me this what the hell are you doing look. I don't understand why.
It makes me sad that no rainbow is appearing.

The WILD has helped to some extend. My dreams did contain elements from my dream goals, but I failed to act on them.
It's cool that I saw ~ Dreamer ~, even though I wasn't lucid and I behaved like a complete idiot.
I'm quite disappointed at how I dealt with Faye.

I forgot to add a song to my last DJ entry!
I can't think of any music that fits this dream, so instead, here's what I'm listening to as I write this:


I'm at an office in a clinic. I'm sitting on a simple chair in the very middle of the room.
I've been waiting here for some time, bored out of my mind.
A nurse is supposed to join me in order to give me the results from some kind of medical test that was performed on me.
After some time a nurse finally enters the room.
She tells me that she has good news, that they have finally figured out what is wrong with me.
The nurse suggest beginning treatment immediately.
I'm ecstatic to hear this.

However, I now also realize that this is a dream.
The nurse somehow notices that I have become lucid. She seems sad because of it?

We are interrupted by a doctor barging into the room.
She immediately steals the nurses charts from her hands.
After looking over them she sends the nurse away.

"I will take care of this."

I don't like this. The nurse seemed very competent and kind, whereas the doctor seems uninterested in my health.
She is just here to do her job and get paid. She couldn't care less about who I am or how I feel.
After grabbing something from a drawer she pulls up another chair and sits right in front of me.
She holds a syringe and a vial containing an odd purple liquid.

"Hold out your arm for me."
"Okay."

I hold out my arm as she draws some of that liquid into the syringe.
I want to ask her about what is actually wrong with me, and about what
the devil she is about to inject me with.
But I don't ask anything because I feel really uncomfortable.
The color of that liquid strikes me as really odd.
Are you supposed to inject purple stuff into people?

She grabs my arm tightly, presumably so that I don't move.
My skin offers little resistance to the syringe.
The needle punctures it easily.
I'm pleased that it doesn't hurt.
She injects me with a large quantity of the liquid.

As she retracts the syringe she smiles.
And not the good kind of smile. The I just fucked you up and I'm a psychopath kind of smile.
Blisters start forming very rapidly all over my arm.
They quickly grow to the point where they are about to burst.
There's a huge amount of liquid in them. And I sense them pulsating. (I'm not googling a fitting picture for that...)
WHAT THE FUCK!
I notice the doctor as she attempts to go for my other arm.
Oh hell no. I slap the syringe out of her hand and quickly get up.

I am now in full panic mode.
I turn towards the only door in the room and charge at it.
Due to fear of the door being locked I throw my entire weight at it, attempting to break it open.


The lock gives in under the force emitting a shattering sound and separates from the door.

Blinded by a bright sun I try to reorient myself.
Wait what? I'm outside?
I quickly realize that I find myself stranded on top of a skyscraper.
There's only one door leading back into the building and that's where I came from.
This doesn't make any sense! Also the skyscraper is really thin. Like only 5 by 5 meters.
I have nowhere to run.


The doctor emerges from the room holding a much larger syringe this time around.
Like, a meter long. She's holding it like an assault weapon.

"Come over here. You need your medicine!"

I don't think so. I look back at my arm and it looks even worse than before.
The biggest blister bursts open and some thick yellow goo starts to ooze out of it.
It is utterly disgusting. Oh but it gets worse. So much worse.


Fat wasps start to climb out from inside the blister, through the puncture.
There's goo all over them, and they immediately begin to climb my arm.
I contemplate attempting to rip my arm off my body, but I understand that this is not possible.
The doctor approaches me slowly, carrying the overly large syringe on her shoulder.

But then, during all the panic, a short moment of clarity.
I am dreaming. I try to forcefully forget about the condition of my arm, knowing that it will return to normal.
The doctor is getting uncomfortably close to me, and I have no room left to move backwards...


Oh for fucks sake!
The name tag on the doctors lab coat...
It reads "Dr. Faye"
There is just barely enough time to go from full on panic to being seriously pissed.

"Fuck this, I'm out of here."

I stretch out my arms, and let myself fall backwards, down the skyscraper, looking at the sky all the way down.
Weeeeeeeeeeee
...
Uhm...
This scene is going to change before I hit the ground yes?

My vision fades just before I hit the ground.
Good...
*BAM!*

OH GOD FUCK WHY...
Oh...

I thought I went splat there for a moment.
But I actually just landed on my back in a new scene.
I get up and begin to orient myself.
My arm is back to normal, so we're off to a god start.


Oddly enough I seem to have ended up in some kind of garage?
Like, a pit box for race cars.
Usually if I change scenes without thinking of a destination I land on a certain beach.
I end up there quite often, but not this time for some reason.

I rub my hands together, trying to purge my mind of the images of my arm.
Then I spot it. A suspiciously large object hidden beneath a white sheet.
I know exactly what this is!
Pulling away the sheet reveals my xg bike.
AWW YEAH!


I walk around it inspecting it from all angles.
The polished exhaust manifolds reflect the bright lighting in this garage.
I touch them and slide my finger all the way back to the end of the exhaust pipes.
Thinking about it, I haven't raced this in many years.
I did have a dream about it a long time ago, but I don't think I raced it.
Deep Dreaming - Barfight - Earth from Space - Exploring Childhood Dreams - Yuya - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

I could use my lucidity to attempt to resolve my current dream issues.
But I decide to postpone it. The dream is stable and I know that is going to be wonderful if I race.
Yes. I need some me time. Dreams are about having fun. I don't feel like resolving complex issues right now.

I climb onto the bike. It feels exactly right.
I flip the switches on the dashboard. ECU, FUEL, IGN.
And it lights up in vibrant neon colors.

I spot a pair of noise canceling plugs, resting next to some sunglasses on the fuel tank.
I promptly stick the plugs into my ears. This nullifies all sound completely. I also put on the sunglasses,
which fit nicely. I detach the auxiliary oil supply, which was keeping the engine nice and warm.

I gently feather the throttle, and kick the starter hard.
The engine roars to life. The sudden sound pressure feels like a punch to the stomach.
It almost hurts. My entire body vibrates, as it resonates with the sound emitted by all 20 cylinders.
Even though my hearing is muffled, the sound is painfully loud because it is amplified within this garage.
The sudden vibrations greatly increase the quality of my dream.
My vision is colorful and sharp now. All of my senses are engaged.
I am in a pit box. There's a race track right outside.

I pull the clutch all the way back and shift into first.
A loud mechanical "clock" is emitted by the transmission and the dashboard display changes from N to 1.
I lean my weight all the way forwards, feather the throttle and just let go of the clutch.
After some wheel spin I am propelled out of the pit box and begin driving down the pit lane.
I flip on the "G" switch on my dash board. This turns on an odd device that provides high amounts of downforce without causing any drag.
Almost as if gravity was magically increased for the bike.
With a precise foot press the engine changes into second and the bike wobbles forward and backward a bit.


I start to gain speed and once I'm onto the track I punch it.
At first the revs climb slowly, but then once I make it past 7k rpm I hear both turbos slowly spinning up, providing an enormous boost in torque.
This violent increase in power actually catches me off guard and I accidentally change into 3rd.
There is some more wobbling and the engine emits a rather unhealthy sound as I have starved the turbos from their much needed exhaust pressure.
This is to be expected as I shifted way too soon.

I gain some more speed before I need to slow down for a sharp hairpin.
The brakes are loud and cause some vibration, but they are perfectly precise and very powerful.
I shift back into second and engine screams up for a split second as the internal computers match the engine speed to that of the gearbox,
followed by a loud rumble due to unburned fuel exiting the exhaust pipes.

I throttle up gradually as I am exiting the corner. The turbos spin up again. This time I'm determined not to shift early.
I grab the handles tightly, holding on for dear life. The acceleration brutally increases all the way through
10k, 11k, 12k, 13k rpm. The front wheel begins to lift off the track and I quickly shift into 3rd.
This time there is no wobble. The gearbox computer executes the shift precisely the moment when my foot presses the shifting pedal.
The front wheel slams back onto the track with a loud tire screech.

Two lines of blue leds on my dashboard grow towards each other as the rpm increase, indicating that I am within the power band.
I take it all the way up past 14k, until red leds at the end of the blue led strips light up,
indicating that it is time to shift...

I am now in 4th, doing close to 500km/h, as I enter a long corner. I lean my body into it, bringing the glowing orange exhaust manifolds into my field of view.
The forces on my body increase, until eventually belts in my pants pull together automatically to cut off the blood flow to my legs.
This just barely prevents me from passing out. I am unable to breathe until I exit the corner and the forces normalize.

I lift my body up a bit, so that I emerge above the protective wind shield.
The air pushes against my face hard. It hurts. I am so alive right now.
I try to scream as loud as I can. My lungs can just barely overcome the air pressure.
But there is barely any sound. The engine is just too loud. I cannot compete.

But that doesn't matter. This is MY dream. I am alive. I am in control.
After some laps the dream fades. I don't care.

The contrast between "bad" and "good" adrenaline was quite interesting.
Could have done without the bad part though. The images are still burned into my mind. x_X

So... I've been planning on posting new entries to my DJ here on DV, but I'm not quite sure where to start.
My dreams are one hell of a mess at the moment, and they're probably not much fun to read.
It seems like many of them are centered around hurting me one way or another.
Usually this is done through Faye, a recurring DC.
They're not nightmares though. Well, at least most of them aren't.
I usually catch those when they start and become lucid, allowing me either change or stop them.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about:

I'm hanging out with some waking-life friends.
We're at V's place, up in his attic, where he has set up a bar and a large couch to relax.
Overall I'm having a good time, but there's something making me somewhat uncomfortable.
There's a woman with us that I don't think I have seen before.
But everyone is acting as if we've all known each other for years.
In fact, at one point, she is telling a story about her and I getting into trouble
when we were on vacation together.

What? I don't remember this woman, and we were supposedly spending out holidays together?
What is going on?

We have a few drinks, discuss some things that I cannot recall, and end up talking about what everyone
is currently doing in their lives. It's mostly a discussion about what our expectations were a few years back,
about what we would be doing now, and how everything actually turned out.
It's my turn, and I walk about making video games, and that I am not quite certain how I am going to transition
from university life to working. I haven't fully decided exactly what I want to do yet, but I do know
roughly which direction I want to go.

The woman I do not know interrupts me, and starts saying hurtful things.
I don't remember exactly how she said it, but she was basically stating that I will never amount to anything.
I am shocked. I do not understand how one of my friends would ever say anything like that.
I have a good relationship with all of my friends, nobody would ever do this.
But for some reason it really hurts. To the point where I actually consider whether or not I am a failure as a person.

Fortunately, I slowly become aware of what is actually happening.
I am dreaming.
This is a dream.

I attempt to look at the facial expression of everyone, to see if they agreed with what the woman said.
But they are all gone. I find myself alone with this woman now.
She looks pleased with herself. She has accomplished what she wanted.

I try to elevate my level of awareness by thinking about my current situation.
There is some improvement. Enough to realize that the woman is Faye.

"Wipe that grin off your face"

I am pissed.
She keeps doing this lately and I absolutely hate it.
I decide to confront her about it.

"Why do you keep doing this?"
"You are doing this to yourself. Remember, I am a part of yourself"

I remember having confronted her before, and she said the exact same thing.
Why is she my dream guide again? Lately her influence on my dreams has been purely negative...



Here's another example, where she attempts to distract me (from lucidity):

I am walking through the city together with a friend of mine.
She's rushing from shop to shop, looking at all the things.
Despite the situation being so hectic, I become lucid.
I also quickly realize that the woman I'm with is Faye.
I immediately decide that I want to leave. There is nothing of interest in this dream scene.

I concentrate, trying to leave the current scene behind and go to Riven instead.
But Faye interrupts me. She grabs my hand and drags me away.
I tell her to leave me alone, but she won't listen.

I feel anger building up inside of myself.
She's done this a few times now, trying to break my lucidity.
And usually she succeeds...

"You're not going anywhere!"

My muscles tense up from anger.
Suddenly the buildings around me begin to collapse, seemingly as a reacting to tensing up my muscles.
It's an odd feeling.
First there is some guilt from destroying the buildings by accident.
But that quickly disappears once I understand that nobody was in these buildings.
After all this is a dream.

Unfortunately Faye is having none of it.
She takes control of the surrounding DC's and makes them yell at me.

"Why did you do this? Why did you kill those people?"

Things like that.
I eventually loose lucidity...


These dreams are quite frustrating.
But I think that I can fix this mess if I manage to reach a high level of lucidity.
By that I mean, if manage to think clearly within a lucid dream, and be aware of this goal,
which is difficult with this level of interference and distraction.
Still, I'm confident that I'll manage to fix it... hopefully soon.

More music for no good reason:



Immediately after falling asleep, I wake up due to some noise in the house.
I look at the clock, and 6 hours have already passed, which frustrates me a bit.
I change position and try to fall back asleep, thinking about lucid dreaming.


... I'm walking to school.
There's quite a few other students walking there, but I don't know any of them.
The weather is nice.
For some reason a blue flower catches my attention and I stare at it.

I'm dreaming!
I can't help but say out loud:

"YES!"

Some of the student look at me as if I was mentally retarded, but I don't care.
I rub my hands and try to activate my other senses, but the dream already feels very stable.
A female voice whispers into my ear:

"You know, you could totally do one of the students."

...

"FAYE!"
"Haha"
"Really? Aren't you supposed to help me rather than encouraging distractions?"
"I'm just messing with you."

I shrug it off.

"You're messing with me all the time."

I summon my phoenix wings.

"I'm off to see Yuya, you coming?"
"Sure!"

She holds onto my arm and I teleport us both to Teraluna...
... We appear in Yuya's garden where she, Liv and two other people are having tea.
We join them.
It feels good to be here again, it has been too long.
We talk about various stuff until I finally bring up the topic of my recall, chronic headaches and tiredness.

Yuya approaches me.

"Move forward."

Hm? I slide forward on my chair a bit and she sits behind me.
She starts pressing against various points on my neck, similarly to what a doctor did in waking life.
Then she presses her forehead against the back of my head and wraps her hands around it.

I can feel sort of a click in my head.
I suddenly feel very lightheaded, as if I was floating.
I can sense her gradually feeling though all the fibres of my aura in my head.
It feels pretty damn good.

"Do you have headaches even when you're here?"
"No. Only when I'm awake."
"Hmmm..."
"Is there something wrong?"
"Actually no... not really."
"No-one seems to know in waking life either... I'm getting a scanner thing done in two days."
"Oh, what's that?"
"A machine that looks into your head without touching it... it's harmless."

She hugs me.

"You'll be fine, I bet it's nothing."
"Yeah, it's probably something really stupid that is just difficult to detect."

I look around. I'm so happy to be back here. I know I will recall this dream.
It'll be fantastic for my motivation.

"Hey Yuya."
"Yes?"
"You really need to teach me about time dilation."
"What do you mean?"
"How to stay in dreams for hours, days, months... years!"
"Shouldn't you worry about fixing your recall first?"
"Yes! And then time dilation!"
"Haha, alright alright. It's difficult though you know?"
"I don't care."
"You don't care?"

I shrug.

"I have all the time in the world. I don't mind if it takes months or years to learn how to do it."
"Because once I do know how to do it, making up on the time spent learning it should be pretty easy."

She smiles.

"That's a good attitude. I'll make sure to remind you next time you visit me."

We talk some more and the dream fades away.

I try to remain still to DEILD, but someone's being noisy again which is too disctracting.

Odd things happen when you're only barely lucid.


I am a wolf, running through the local forest.
I run aimlessly as I have no goal.
I just enjoy the night and the fresh air.



The wind is rushing through my fur, it feels great.
The forest is mine.

I decide to take a small break once I encounter a river.
I help myself to some water. It is cold and fresh.
It feels just right after the long run.

I look up to the stars. They seem much brighter than usual.
I decide this is a good moment to heighten my awareness.
Something doesn't seem right, I better RC.

This proves to be a rather complicated task, because I cannot quite figure out how to plug my nose with a paw.
Wait...

-_-

My body starts to morph back into my human form.
I plug my nose and try to breathe which works.
I'm not really sure why I even tried though, I am fully aware that I am dreaming now after all.

I rub my hands and take a look around.
As I turn the scene smoothly changes and I find myself in the city.
Well... that was weird. That doesn't usually happen, does it?

People passing me look at me in an odd way.
I ignore them. DC's sometimes act weird when I become lucid, I don't really care though.
I try to remember if I have set myself any goals.
What is the current Totm?
...
I can't remember.

I notice people are now pointing fingers at me.
What?
I realize that I appear to be fully naked.
Well, I guess that's why.

I concentrate on a hill outside of the city, which is just in range of my view.
I blink towards it, which requires a surprising amount of concentration.
I arrive within a split second.

Aah, much better!
I rub my hands again because I feel like my senses aren't fully there.
I think about calling out to Faye because my dream doesn't seem very stable.
Maybe she can help.

But then I am surprised by a pony jumping by:


Huh? What is Pinkie Pie... wait...

"Faye????"
"Yes?"
"Why are you a pony?"
"Weeeeeeeee"

She keeps bouncing.
I consider that I might actually be full on insane.

"Faye, stop bouncing around and help me!"
"Wat?"
"Oye, you always say you're my dream guide. Do dream guide stuff."
"Hmm, as your dream guide I should probably point something out in this situation."
"Yes?"
"Your penis is visible sir."
"My..."

Yeah, I'm still naked...
Faye finds this very amusing.
I summon myself some clothes, which I am surprised that it works because the dream doesn't seems very stable.
In the meantime Faye has transformed herself into a woman.
I am sure I've seen her before, but I can't seem to figure out who she transformed herself into.

"I can't seem to stabilize the dream."
"There is no need."
"Huh? why not?"

The scene suddenly turns dark... crap.
Fortunately I think about keeping my eyes closed and try to DEILD.
I am convinced I am waking up...

... I can hear something. For some reason I think that someone in the house must have dropped something.
I feel a tingling sensation all over my body and I drift back into the dream...

... I am now lying on... on a cloud?
I sit up, Faye is sitting next to me.
We're indeed sitting on a small cloud hovering maybe 50 meters over the ground.
I realize my DEILD was highly successful and say

"Fuck Yeah!"
"FUUUUUUUUUUCK YEAH!!!"

People below as look up at Faye confused.
I have to laugh out loud.

"Haha, dreams are fun!"
"Weeee"

The cloud makes a comical noise as it moves us along.
The dream somehow feels more stable now.
For some reason I get the sudden urge to fly so I drop off the cloud and start flying forwards.
Faye immediately catches up.
She gives me a rather competitive smile.
Right on!

I summon my dragon wings and accelerate hard.
I immediately break the sound barrier and oh boy it hurts... in a good way though.
My entire body is vibrating under the extreme pressure of going so fast.
The noise is deafening.
Faye keeps catching up and I go faster and faster.
Mountains rush by.

Then I notice something in the distance and slow down.

It's Stonehenge!
I go subsonic and land on the ground, still sliding a good 500 meters before I come to a stop.
I am now directly in front of Stonehenge.

How curious, I seem to get drawn to this place occasionally.
I look around to see if anyone else is here, but it appears empty except for an old man who is...
Wtf... -_-
He is combing the grass... with a comb...

I wake up.

(I can't really remember the beginning of the dream and how I got there)

I'm in Haven with Yuya, Faye, Liv and Silver.
Silver is in Haven on business, I think he delivered an important package or something along those lines.
Yuya somehow talked him into taking a drink with us, and he is visibly displeased for accepting this offer.

Silver is a man who doesn't like to socialize much.
He is a fighter. He lives from battle to battle with little concern for other things.
Or so he used to be until he met us. Over the course of years we made him realize that he was fighting for the wrong side, which was obviously quite devastating for him.

He has changed his lifestyle since then, but it seems like he only lives to atone for his sins.
He doesn't have the same concept of friendship that we do, he considers us brothers in arms.
I wonder if that will ever change.


Faye is playing with a pony she has summoned.


What is it with all the ponies in my dreams since I've watched the MLP pilot?
I blame the guys on DV IRC...

Liv appears to be scared of Silver.
Yuya, Silver and I are talking whilst drinking some sort of lemonade.
But things aren't going well, Silver really doesn't want to talk, he just replies with "Yes" and "No" mostly.

I think about my situation. Sometimes this feels a bit like living a second life.
I wonder if that is weird? No... it isn't.


Silver leaves and I agree to help Yuya with something... (though I cannot recall what exactly with)



... Yuya and I are on another planet, entering some sort of temple.


We are here to obtain a certain item related to the device that powers the protective barrier for Haven.
Some of these devices were stolen a long time ago, but most of them have been returned.
There's still a few missing though, and this is one of them.

I can't really recall what the plan is, but I believe we are here to steal it.
Yuya and I are both disguised with the same attire worn by the monks in this temple, and we mimic their movements in order to not draw any attention to us.

But before we encounter the first monk, Yuya gives me an angry look.

"What?"
"Your hair!"

She's right. My hair is slightly blue-ish, which would draw a lot of attention.
I shake my head and my hair color changes into pitch black.
Yuya nods, confirming that this is much better.

We enter deeper layers of the temple and no-one seems to notice us, things seem to be going rather well.
That is, until we encounter a locked door.
There is a computer terminal in front of it, presumably responsible for opening the door.

"Open the door, I'll cover you."

Right. I approach the terminal which asks for a password.
Well, I'm not sure what I was expecting.

"I don't know the password."

Yuya looks at me confused.

"You're supposed to hack into it?"
"Huh? How...?"
"Well... you can hack into things no?"
"I can?"
"What about all those movies you've watched, they show you how to hack don't they?"
"Err Yuya... those movies are fiction, you can't just hack into something, it's a rather complicated and time consuming thing to do."
"Oh..."

Well... that's not good. But then I have an idea.
I touch the door with my left hand and enlarge my aura to encompass the whole door in order to get a feel for the interior mechanics.
It's a rather simple system with locking bolts, like in a safe.
I proceed to create small gravitational fields for each bolt and pull them out of their locks.
I then casually open the door smiling at Yuya.
She grins.

We enter what appears to be a treasure or storage room.
There are quite a few fancy looking boxes, most likely all containing very exotic and important items.
Yuya immediately spots the correct box and proceeds to open it.
This requires removing a considerable amount of locks, which is taking quite some time.
I decide to cover her until she's done.

After a short period of time I feel a presence.
There's someone else in this room, but I cannot see him.
I reach out with my aura and find 'something' approaching Yuya that is not visible.
I immediately blink next to it, whilst summoning my katana and take a defensive pose.

A monk materializes, holding a staff.
He seems contemplating to attack us.

"I'd advise against that"
"Thief!"
"We are merely returning what does not belong to you."

He decides to attack us anyways.
He leaps forward, swinging his staff at me.
I blink right behind him and slap him in the neck.
He drops to the ground unconscious.

"We should probably hurry up."

A mob of angry monks is running towards our room.
I yet again create a gravitational field, and use it to close the safety door.
I then launch a stream of fire at it, welding the locking bolts in place.
This ought to slow them down.

Yuya finally manages to open the box, and takes out a tiny transparent crystal.
She smiles at me.

"This is it!"

Monks are teleporting through the door. How did I not think of that?

"Open a portal, I'll hold them off!"

I power up. I feel the dragon tattoo on my back growing and erupting into flames.
Time slows down.
The monks are charging at me one after another.
I slash down their staffs with my katana, and push them away with shockwaves.
I try not to hurt them too much, after all I do not know if they know the details about the current situation.
They might just be trying to defend what they think is theirs.

"Hyu!"

The portal is up. I blink backwards, next to Yuya, and we both jump through the portal...

It's been quite some time since my last DJ post.
I'll try to be more active on DV again, and I'll probably post some of the dreams I had during my absence.


Random music for no good reason:


The day before this dream I had surgery on my foot.
Nothing serious, but I still needed a massive bandage and pain meds for the healing process.
This made it rather uncomfortable to sleep, and sure enough, after just ~6 hours of sleep I woke up.

The pain wasn't bad as long as I didn't move... however that's exactly what I wanted to do.
I must have slept in an awkward position because my left leg (where I've gotten surgery on) was very tired.
I didn't want to move though, because I knew it would hurt.
The pain meds were on my desk where I left them, out of reach without getting up.

I just wanted to go back to sleep, but it just didn't seem to work.
The strain on my left leg kept me awake, just barely... I kept drifting in and out of consciousness.
This was coupled with random thoughts that didn't make much sense.

I kept trying though, and after some time, in a brief moment of clarity, I noticed that I was feeling vibrations all over my body.
I knew this feeling all too well, because it happens quite often when I attempt to WILD.
I haven't done that in a while, but for some reason I thought that because of this I could now transition into a dream.
(I wasn't really thinking clearly)

I try to levitate out of bed as a means to separate my dream body from my physical body.
At this point I can clearly feel the existence of both.
It seems like the stronger the vibrations, the less I feel my physical body.
Attempting to levitate seems safer to do, because I don't run the risk of moving my physical body.

I slowly start to drift upwards.
There is no more gravity and the blanket is gone.
I land on my bed and start rubbing my hands in fear of loosing the dream.
It is only then that I realize that I've just cheated my way into sleeping... sort of... well not really, but I'm asleep, that's all that counts.
I check my foot and it's all normal. No bandages, nothing.

It's rather dark. I was hoping rubbing my hands would fix this, but it didn't.
I flick the light switch in my room, but nothing happens.
Meh, would have been too easy.
Afraid to see myself in bed I leave by jumping out of the window.
(Seeing myself makes me uncomfortable and has woken me up in the past.)

I land softly and walk into the street in the hopes of the dream being lit up by the streetlights.
But it doesn't help.
I don't want to wake up, I want to stay asleep as long as possible.
This is why I'm afraid to try spinning, or use other techniques to change the scene... if I fail I could wake up.

I rub my hands again.

"Oh come-on, work already!"

It doesn't.

I try to make it rain with my mind, thinking it won't work because the dream is unstable. (dark)
But for some reason it does.
I feel the rain drops on my skin, and as the feeling becomes more intense, the dream finally becomes properly lit.

(Rain has been an amazing tool to keep my dreams stable in the past. The constant feeling of raindrops keeps my senses focused in the dream)

I decide to slowly walk through the street and see if I find something interesting.
I'm too afraid to attempt to teleport somewhere else. If I mess it up and wake up there's no way I'll be able to fall back asleep.

Suddenly, I realize that I have changed location.
I am now in Germany, in front of a friends house.
How did that happen?

My friend C. comes out of the house.

"Can't sleep either huh?"

It's weird hearing him speak perfect English. We talk German with each-other in waking life.

"What are you talking about? You're not making any sense, this is a dream."

He looks confused but shrugs it off.

"I have to show you something, follow me."

I follow him into his room where he points at his tv.
There's a newscast... something about another dimension merging with our's.
It's rather confusing. It quickly becomes apparent that it's about the dream plane though.
It is merging with the waking world.

This confuses the hell out of me, I'm fully aware I'm dreaming, but the whole situation is built around being awake.
Then I spot Faye on the couch. She makes me a sign to stay quiet, not to tell that I know about the dream plane.

"Can you believe this? This is so weird! Do you have any idea what this is?"
"Ehhh, haha, yeah... it is weird, isn't it?"

Probably the most unconvincing thing I've said in my entire life.
I wonder why Faye wants me to stay quiet about this...

... I am now at the location where the tv broadcast is occurring.
It's in some sort of park, I don't think I know this place.
There's some sort of spatial disturbance in the air, and I can see spirits from the dream plane trying to cross over.
It's a rather surreal experience. (at this point I actually believe that this is really happening.)
I try to spot Yuya on the other side in the hopes that she can cross over but I can't find her.

My friend is there again, rambling a bunch of nonsense... that we're all going to die among other things.

Spirits are now crossing over and materialize on our side. Some politicians have appeared and are greeting them,
and welcoming them into our world.
Other people are protesting the situation, waving signs with the word "Spirit" crossed out.

"HEY!"
"Faye!... What?"
"Snap out of it!"

The scene freezes, except for Faye and myself.
She grabs my hand and drags me away.
I realize that I drifted out of lucidity.

"I thought you were trying to stay asleep, what the hell are you doing?"
"Err... yeah. I nearly lost it there."
" "nearly" huh? "

We arrive at some sort of cafe and we stop at a table.
Faye looks like she's about to scold me.

"I know, I know... constant awareness."
"That's right."
"But it's difficult right now, I have an injury in the other life."
"Excuses!"
"Maybe..."

A waiter brings us a coffee and Faye hands it to me.

"Drink! This will help."

I drink the coffee and it feels like the caffeine rushes directly into my head.
I am now thinking clearly and my vision is perfectly fine even though it's still night.

I walk down the street with Faye and we talk about a few things.
She's trying to keep me asleep.
After some time I realize a minor oddity.

"So... technically I'm talking to myself right now eh?"
"I've told you before, it's quite a bit more complicated than that."
"That's quite an understatement. I know you've tried to explain it before, but I still don't really get it."
"You have a good idea, that's enough."
"But I want to know more."
"You don't understand every detail of the universe either, yet it doesn't prevent you from living in it just fine."
"It doesn't prevent me from trying to understand every last detail of it either."

She smiles.

The street abruptly ends. There's nothing but darkness behind it.
I turn around. Darkness is catching up with us, there's maybe another 10 meters of street left.

"End of the line Hyu."
"Aww, I don't want to wake up."
"It's alright, you've been asleep for a long time, it's nearly time to get up anyways."

That makes me feel a lot better.

"Bye bye, Hyunkell-san"

I reply in a funny way:

"Goodbye, dreamguide-o-saaan"

She sticks her tongue out in a cute way and laughs.

I wake up. It's been over 7 hours since I went to bed, so I decide to get up.
To my surprise, moving my foot doesn't hurt nearly as a bad as I thought it would.

I'm in Haven, on Teraluna.
This time I immediately think about stabilizing my dream properly.
I try to focus on all of my senses and recall some of those very long and stable dreams I've had.
I do so by sitting in a meditative pose. Yuya is waiting for me to finish stabilizing so we can go somewhere.
At first I'm a bit worried that I'm loosing precious time by doing this, but these worries quickly fade away.
Suddenly I feel sort of a click, all over my body.
It feels as if I was lightheaded all the time and it just went away.

I investigate my surroundings, an all I can think of is "this is so real".

"I'm ready... I think?"
"Yes, you are."

Yuya stares deeply into my eyes and projects images of a distant world into my mind.
She grabs my hand and I teleport the both of us to the world she's shown me.



It's a beautiful world, not unlike some places on earth.
Buildings are made out of mostly white stone which gives everything a very special and slightly surreal look.
We enter one of the buildings and meet up with a women who's been waiting for us.
She talks with Yuya for a bit and another woman appears.
But this time I immediately recognize who she is.
I can feel that I am much more aware than I have been in my dreams recently.

"Hello Faye."
"Ah, you're learning!"
"Let's hope that I am..."

Yuya joins us and proceeds to explain the story of this world.
It is split into two factions, the Dei-ya, who seek enlightenment, and another race who seeks power.
The world was originally split in two, but over the past few years the Dei-ya have lost most of it to the other faction.
However, these lands were not lost through wars.
There is some sort of council in place, consisting of the leaders of both races, and all decisions require a majority of council members to agree.
Even though each faction has an identical number of council members, the Dei-ya are physically much weaker than the other faction,
and they are easily intimidated into taking decisions they do not want to make.

Only one women was able to stand up to the other faction, but she passed away recently.
Today is a new council meeting in which the other faction will attempt to acquire world dominance, and there is no-one there to stop them.
The story sounds a bit familiar, but I decide not to worry about that.
Yuya explains that the woman who passed away will have to be replaced by a new council member.

"How strong exactly are those people from the other faction?"
"Quite strong, but no match for us."
"I see you're having the same idea I'm having. One of us is going to be on tonight's council session as a Dei-ya member."
"So who's going to do it?"
"Well, all Dei-ya council members are women so..."
"You're going to do it then?"
"Unfortunately, that won't work, many people around here know who I am. They'll realize I am not Dei-ya."
"Oh... that's a bit of a problem, what can we do?"
"Well... I'm afraid you're going to have to do it..."
"..."

What?

"Erm... I'm not sure if I'll pass as a woman Yuya..."
"Well, not the way you're looking right now, that's for sure..."

I'm really starting to dislike this. What does she plan? Dress me up as a women?
Faye bursts out laughing, but then Yuya explains.

"Your dream body, does it look like your waking life body?"
"Well, no, not exactly, there are many similarities, but no, it's not the same."
"So, why is your dream body male?"
"... because I'm... oh boy... I see where this is going."

Yuya smiles and summons a huge mirror.

"Transforming into the opposite gender is actually quite easy, your dream body actually contains the information for both genders."
"Great... so I'm going to have to turn into a girl?"

Faye finds all of this highly amusing, me on the other hand, not so much.
I decide to lighten up though, after all it could be interesting, but it is quite awkward...
I attempt to shift my form, not really sure what the hell I'm doing, but everything works surprisingly easy.
I feel the bones in my body slightly rearranging which feels massively weird, but the process only lasts a split second.

So here I'm standing, in front of that mirror, looking at myself, and I cannot really believe my eyes.
Faye comments on the situation: "Oh my, you're quite hot Hyu, haha."
Yuya agrees: "You're adorable."

Both of them are having one hell of a time.
I look down and immediately spot my breasts. This is so weird.
I poke one of them which causes Faye to break out in laughter.
I'm still wearing nothing but the white pants I usually wear in my dream, it all looks so wrong.
However I do look cute as a woman. I have long curly red hair and a few freckles around my nose.

Yuya hands me a white dress. I'm a bit surprised where she got it from.
I awkwardly put it on when Yuya explains that it's one of her's, she's borrowing it to me.
Wearing Yuya's clothes makes everything even more awkward. I have trouble maintaining composure.
This is looking much better already.
I then proceed to drop my pants, but then I am suddenly shocked because it feels like something is missing.

"What's up Hyu?"
"I..."
"What? Is something wrong."

I look at Yuya, and the only thing I can manage to say is:

"Penis."
"... Hyu?"
"It's missing, I'm freaking the fuck out."

Both Faye and Yuya burst out laughing.
Once the initial shock fades I find it amusing myself as well. This is a dream body... I'm so silly.
I said penis... pfff this is ridiculous.

We're on our way to the council meeting and I am given a bracelet with a crescent moon hanging from it.
It is a symbol that I am a council member.
The last few steps I have to walk alone, Yuya and Faye have to remain behind, only council members are allowed into this room.
It feels so weird being a women.
I have such a hard time not staring at my own breasts, how do women manage not to do so all the time?
I notice that I am wearing the same necklace Faye got me in the mermaid dream.

Finally in the room, I sit down in what appears to be the council leaders spot on the Dei-ya side.
Some of the Dei-ya are very surprised by this, but the only women who is in on it makes a sign that everything is alright.
The council meeting is very straightforward. The opposite leader requires that we give up all lands and even retreat from the council.

"That does sound like a rather unreasonable request."

He's angry, he figured this would be easy, that there would be no resistance.
I can feel that everyone besides me on the Dei-ya side is very scared.

"Then what do you propose, woman?"
"... How about you return all of the lands you have stolen from us, ain't that a more reasonable request?"

Everyone in the room is shocked, and the opposite leader is furious, but that's exactly what I'm aiming for.

"If only you Dei-ya had some guts, we'd settle this by a duel to the death!"
"Should I consider this a challenge?"
"... are you fucking serious?"
"If you win, the world is yours, if I win, you go back where you came from and return what belongs to us."
"... AHAHAHAHAHA you're a fool! I challenge you! Let's duel!"

I feel bad putting the Dei-ya's world on the line, but they're about to loose it anyways, and I'm confident I can take him on.
We step outside as he is immediately eager to kill me and settle this.

"To the death!"
"Tenjho Tenge!"

Why did I say that? Is that a common thing to say before a duel?



He immediately charges me with that stupidly large sword of his, and furry black wings drawn from his body.
I can easily feel how strong he is, his aura is so easy to read.
I concentrate a moderate quantity of divine energy into my left hand, thinking it would be too weird to awaken the dragon as a Dei-ya.
Before he reaches me, I release the energy towards him and he is immediately thrown back.
His sword shatters from the shockwave of the energy, and his wings burst into flames.

Everyone is extremely surprised, no-one says a word.

"I... I give up!"
"Excuse me what now?"
"I give up! You can have your lands back!"
"And you call this a duel to the death? Are you kidding me?"
"I... please have mercy!"

Unbelievable. What a weakling.
All tough when he knows there's no-one to resist him and as soon as he meets someone more powerful he starts crying like a kid.

"Fine... declare your defeat."
"I am defeated!"
"Then begone."

All of them leave. They aren't going to attempt anything for a long time.
They always knew that nobody could stand up to them, but now that this is no longer true they're afraid, much more afraid than the Dei-ya are.

One of the Dei-ya asks me:

"Who are you?"
"A friend of a friend."

I say nothing more and leave, finally my turn to act all mysterious, I like it.
Before I am able to meet back up with Yuya the dream fades away.


*Tenjho Tenge is a manga/anime.
It translates to "Heaven & Earth"

I'm at a lake with 3 of my friends, D. S. and a girl. (I actually don't know the girl in waking life, but in the dream I thought I did)
We're just chilling, having a few beers, setting up the barbecue grill and lying in the sun.
The weather is rarely this good around here, this is nice.

We start discussing random things, until we finally reach the topic of the supernatural.
One of my friends, S. immediately insist that everything even remotely related to the supernatural is completely bogus.
D. on the other hand says that he just believes whatever it is he actually experiences.
If he had a supernatural experience, so be it.
I agree with D. and say that it is always good to be open minded, and have to explain to S.
that there is a huge difference between being open to ideas and actually believing that something supernatural has to exist.
The girl that is with us seems to agree with me, but she's not saying anything.

We argue about this a bit until I get the inexplicable urge to claim that I have actually had supernatural experiences.
This causes some silence, until someone finally asks what happened.
I feel odd, like I'm supposed to say specific things.
The feeling becomes so strong that I just decide to say them.

"The world is actually full of the supernatural, but our limited minds have a tendency to ignore whatever we cannot comprehend."
"This is such bullshit mate."
"If you say so."
"Yes, I do say so, the idea that anything like that could exist is just retarded."

The girl talks for the first time:

"Do you dream, S.?"
"What? no. Who cares about dreams anyways?"
"Then it is no wonder you do not understand."
"What the fuck?"
"She's right, S."
"Now you're just fucking with me..."

Sitting right in front of the lake, I start humming a melody.
This catches the girls attention and she sits down next to me.

"What are you doing?"
"I'm calling out to the mermaids."
"Wow... do mermaids really exist?"

S. is just shaking his head claiming that we've gone completely nuts.
But then my humming is answered by songs from far away.
They quickly get closer, until finally, a few figures emerge from the water right in front of us:


They are definitely mermaids, and they seem to be absolutely magical creatures.
The sound of their songs is heard from everywhere at once.
One of the mermaids emerges quite far from the water, in order to come closer to me.
You can clearly see her tail, covered in beautiful fins shimmering in all kinds of colors.
Yet through the outside transparent layer, you can clearly see that she has legs and feet just like us.
She is insanely cute.

"You're the one singing for us."
"Yes, I am."
"I am honored. Come with us to our lands and we will sing for you."

Then it sort of strikes me. Such magical encounters don't really happen in waking life, I'm dreaming, it's obvious.
The girl with us, whom I now realize I don't actually know starts talking to another mermaid, and asks her if she can come.

"All of you may come, but there is a price to be paid."
"A price?"
"We ask for no more than a kiss."

A kiss? what an interesting request.
The girl with us immediately kisses one of the mermaids, and she does so quite passionately.
The mermaid then embraces her and they both disappear into the water.

"You guys coming?"
"..."
"Oh well, suit yourselves..."

I kiss the mermaid in front of me... it is quite salty but very enjoyable nevertheless.
She embraces me and we fall down into the water...


... I'm at the bottom of the ocean, in some sort of habitat.
It is covered by a huge air bubble, allowing myself to breathe.
There's still quite a bit of water though, it is about knee deep, so it is easier to swim from room to room than to walk.
All of the rooms are decorated by colorful corals.
There are mermaids chatting and singing everywhere, it is such a nice place.
The girl who was with me is sleeping in a huge bed with two mermaids by her side.

A mermaid approaches me and puts a necklace around my neck.
It's a silver chain with a crystal tear on it.
It's really nice, but a bit girly.
Not like I'd care about that in a dream though.
I want to tell the mermaid how much I appreciate the gift, but whilst I'm doing it I realize the inevitable:

"... Faye?"
"Yes Hyu?"
"... why don't you ever say something?"

She just sticks out her tongue.

"If you were more aware during your dreams you'd notice it earlier."
"How can I be more aware?"
"Practice practice..."
"Yeah... I figured there was no easy way."
"Now, that wouldn't be any fun, would it?"
"To be honest, it probably would."

She laughs.

"Yes you're right, it actually would."

I play with her fins. They feel so realistic.

"Hey... shouldn't we be doing something?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know... like... like visiting Krista!"
"We could, if it'd take you less than half an hour to remember your goals."
"I really need to work on that..."
"Don't you have like... any tips for me? For remembering goals, to increase awareness, anything?"
"How about you'd start by stabilizing all of your dreams properly friend?"

Shit... I've completely forgotten to do that.
And the dream has already darkened quite a bit.
I start rubbing my hands in an attempt to stabilize it, but it doesn't seem to work.
I remain in darkness for a bit until I wake up.

So here's a tip:
If you ever find yourself with no time to lucid dream, do NOT stop updating your dream journal. :/
I stopped updating mine for a few weeks, and when I tried to LD again I noticed my dream recall was nearly nonexistent.
It took me the past two weeks to have a moderately long lucid, and going through this after having had sort of regular lucids is quite a frustrating experience.
So yeah, dream journals seem to be quite a bit more important than I thought.
Anyways, enough rambling.


I'm taking a bath. The water is very soapy and I'm sort of lost in thoughts.
Somehow I feel that it is weird that I have a bathtub, I used to have only a shower.
But I make up some excuse to justify the presence of the tub and continue idling.
I think about a girl I met a few days ago for some reason, and suddenly I notice that someone is with me in the bathtub.
There's a naked girl right in front of me, though not the one I was thinking of, I don't know her.

I don't really realize that this situation is weird, I even sort of ignore the girl until I feel the urge to touch her arm because I have the impression that it's supposed to feel weird.
I touch her arm and gently brush over it with a finger, and I notice that it feels extremely realistic even though it shouldn't.

Wait... why is it supposed to... oh!
Am I dreaming?
I look at the girl, whom is smiling at me and she proceeds to vanish into thin air.
I am now certain that I am dreaming, but I feel the urge to RC, I feel like I need the shock of awareness.

As I do the nose pinch RC I remember that I haven't RC'ed like this in a long time.
Usually I just become aware that I am dreaming, or I realize inconsistencies as to how I ended up where I am.
I think I stopped doing 'standard' RC's after WakingNomad had suggested other forms of increasing awareness on these forums.

The RC succeeds and I get quite excited that I finally induced an LD again, and I immediately feel the urge to do something with the limited time that is given to me.
I jump out of the tub ready to search my house for anything exciting.

Stop! What am I doing?
I haven't stabilized the dream, I'm running around aimlessly, this is bad!
I try to calm down and attempt to stabilize the dream.
That was close, my surroundings had already darkened quite a bit.

I try to open a portal on a wall. I have no destination in mind, I have no goals and just seem to do the first thing that crosses my mind.
As I walk through it I wonder why I've bothered with a portal when I can just teleport with my wings, plus I'm assuming the portal won't work
because I haven't set a destination... but it does!

I find myself in the desert, on a sand dune.
This is odd, usually my dreams are dominated by cold colors and watery landscapes.
This is pretty much the exact opposite.
I see some construction work going on and approach it.
As I look at my surroundings, I realize that I must be in the past, considering what people are wearing and the kinds of buildings that exist.

This place seems oddly familiar though... and then I finally get it.
They're building the pyramids! I'm in Egypt!
Of course! I've been here before in waking life, how interesting!

"It is, isn't it?"
"Yeah..."

Huh? It's the girl from the bathtub again, except she's dressed now.
She's wearing some sort of white gown and her hair is braided.

"You're the girl from before!"
"Yeeees... ?"
"Do I know you?"
"... are you fucking serious?"
"Err... oh! Faye?"
"Yes Faye! Dude!"
"I'm sorry... haven't had a lucid in a while, I feel like I've forgotten everything"
"You'll be fine."
"Yeah this is good, if I remember this dream it'll boost my confidence."
"Good good, time to wake up now."
"Huh, why?"
"Your phone is ringing"

I wake up and sure enough, my mobile is ringing.

I had to get up early this morning to see a doctor because I hurt one of my toes and it got infected, so I only got ~5 hours of sleep last night.
After getting back from the appointment, I was just lying in my chair watching an online stream of someone playing SC2.
I was really tired, to the point where I was unable to really focus on the stream, plus my toe was still hurting which was annoying.
I just leaned back and started dozing off. I noticed the sensation of falling asleep and randomly decided that I'll try to WILD...

... I start seeing through my closed eyelids, I must have entered a dream.
I get up and notice that I was sitting on the couch, even though I was on my chair when I was awake. Weird.
I look at my toe because it is still hurting a bit, but the pain is different.
There is no longer a bandage around it, in fact, it looks perfectly healthy.

I investigate my aura and can clearly see that there are repairs going on in my toe region.
It looks really interesting, like broken stings that are webbing themselves together again.
I hold my left hand over my toe, summoning my phoenix wings, to see if I can somehow accelerate the healing process.
Some energy is flowing from my hand towards my toe, but in all honesty I have no idea what I'm doing.
Sure, I know that phoenix abilities includes healing, but I have no idea how to do it.

Not really sure what to do, I decide to summon Faye.
I call out her name, but nothing happens.
I realize that just calling out her name is not enough, I have to actually mean for her to appear.
I do it again, this time wishing for her to come to me, and she appears in front of me.
She looks different yet again.

"Hey!"
"Hi Hyu. I brought you your Yo-yo."

Right! The Yo-yo!
She gives it to me and I look at it closely, touching the wooden surface.
It looks very simple and old-fashioned.

"Does it do anything?"
"Of course it does!"
"So, how do you use it?"
"I suppose just like a normal Yo-yo."

Makes sense.
I attach the string to my right middle finger and launch the Yo-yo towards the ground.
It remains at the bottom of the string, spinning wildly and making some noise.
Nothing special happens, which surprises me a bit.

"Huh? What does it do then, it doesn't seem to be special."

She replies with a serious attitude:

"Well, it spins Hyu. It spins."

I look at Faye. She starts laughing hysterically.

"You're such a troll!"

After that I wake up.
What's up with the trolling lately? oO

non dream - lucid - non lucid

Ugh, what a busy week. I remember a lot of dreams, but for some messed up reason most of the good ones were on days
where I had to leave my house immediately after waking up, preventing me from writing them down properly.
This is what I remember from these dreams:


Destiny
I'm on board the Destiny, getting quite excited.
We're close to our destination, just one day to go.
My co-pilot aka first officer enters the cockpit.
We exchange looks and I feel quite weird.
I think we had sex earlier today. We've both been in this spacecraft for over 2 weeks,
so the sexual tension was strong in both of us and it must have just happened.
I remember that we decided that no-one should have sex during the mission to avoid potential issues within the team.
I feel bad for breaking a rule I was originally in favor of, but I'm pretty sure we're not the only ones who have done so.


Training with Liv
I'm on Teraluna teaching Liv how to fight more effectively with the help of Yuya and Faye.
Liv is stronger than I originally thought, but she's clearly nowhere close to Yuya or myself.
Liv's main problem is that she isn't very confident in her own abilities, and somewhat shy to use some of them.
Some of her abilities require her to dance in what I can only describe as a "sexy way".
This seems to be very uncomfortable for her.


What is a Dream Guide?
I'm hanging out with Faye. I'm having a rather interesting conversation with her about Dream Guides.
She's saying many quite complex things, but the basics I can gather is that according to her,
a Dream Guide is someone who's main role it is to help me achieve goals in my dreams.
She also explains that she is very different from Yuya.
She is mostly a projection of my subconscious and a little bit of something else.


Ice cream with Yuya
I'm on Teraluna with Yuya, at some kind of ice cream bar I guess.
I order the biggest chocolate sundae they have, and it is huge. o_o
It's served in a glass bowl shaped like a blossom.
We're sharing it, but I have no idea how we're supposed to finish this.

I eat too fast, like I always do, and get a massive brain freeze.
I am amazed that I am able to experience this pain so powerfully in the dream, so I deliberately resume eating too fast.
I get another brain freeze and say "Amazing!"
Yuya laughs and tells me that I am absolutely insane.
I say "I never claimed otherwise"


Oracle
I am in the past, in Greece I think, in some sort of temple.
Some women dressed in white tunics escort me through the temple to a surreal looking room.
There's a crack in the floor with colorful fumes streaming out of it.
I sit in my designated spot noticing that I am a women myself.
I become semi-lucid and call out to Faye asking her for help.
She appears disguised in a similar Tunic and tells me that I am an Oracle, and I need to help someone take an important decision.
I tell her I don't know how to do that, but she insists it's ok, because the fumes in this room will cause me to get high, which will help.
I indeed start to get quite high.

A women enters the room, with an extremely fancy dress. She must be very important.
She asks me something and I give an answer that feels right, but doesn't make any sense whatsoever to me, and sounds completely out of context.
For some reason she knows exactly what to do now though and leaves happily.
Then I get distracted by my own boobs and start fondling them. *cough*


False awakening
I get up, go to the bathroom, brush my teeth etc.
After getting dressed I get into my car, drive to university, and get stuck in a traffic jam on my way there for maybe half an hour...
I end up at university and hold a lecture for about an hour until I notice that something is off.
I wonder if I might be dreaming and think back and am easily capable of retracing my steps.
Nope, must be awake.
Then I notice Faye is sitting in my classroom.
I say "You've got to be fucking kidding me", realizing that I just had an insanely long FA.
Some students laugh at me. I'm pissed, and I ask Faye if I just got trolled by my own subconscious.

non dream - lucid - non lucid

I am in the countryside, walking up a path which leads to my house. (I have never seen this place)
The path leads up to the top of a small mountain.
The area isn't very populated, so I don't encounter many people on my way up.

I finally reach a small street, my house is at the end of it.
There's a few more houses, maybe 12 or so and a water fountain in the middle of the street.
For some reason I am attracted to the fountain, it is very beautiful, but I don't really know why.
As I approach it I start to question my surroundings and quickly realize that I am dreaming.

I am happy to have become lucid, but the feeling quickly vanishes.
In front of the fountain I find a dead wolf. He seems to have died because of a deep wound on his neck.
I feel odd. Seeing the dead wolf makes me kind of sad.

It starts to rain. Has it ever rained in my dreams? Does it rain because I am sad?
The sky starts clearing up and it stops raining, rays of light start poking through the clouds.
A small bird emerges from the light and lands on the fountain, looking at the wolf.

I have seen this bird before! It is the same as in the Dr. Who dream!
The bird looks at me for a few seconds.
Then he switches his attention back to the wolf.
He spreads his tiny wings and they start glowing in all kinds of colors.
Some glitter emitted from his wings lands on the wolf.

The wolf comes back to life and looks at the bird. They exchange a few thoughts, the wolf is thankful that the bird saved his life.
He runs away. I am amazed by what I just witnessed, but I still feel somewhat weird, although in a positive way now.
The bird takes off and lands on the hand of a girl.
I recognize her, It's Faye!
She looks different than last time though, but her aura is clearly the same.
She has long brown hair now and shimmering green eyes.

"What have you learned from this experience?"

I remember that WakingNomad has asked me this question a few times.

"He's a phoenix..."
"Yes, he is, so what does this mean?"
"I don't know... what does it mean? We are in my dream bubble aren't we?"

Faye gives me an affirming nod.
She acts very mysteriously. Yuya sometimes does that as well.
I kind of like it though, I've always been a fan of mystery.
She wants me to keep thinking, I'm supposed to come to a conclusion.

"So this phoenix, he is part of my imagination?"
"A projection of your subconscious the people on your forum would say."

I think this is the first time a DC has made a direct reference to DV.
Faye talks about how in my dream bubble, everything that I don't actively create is a projection of my subconscious.
I already knew that, and she knew that I did, but she's trying to make a point.

"So where does this idea of a phoenix come from?"
"That is the question. Knowing the question is half of the answer."

I really like the way she is speaking, it is so mysterious, yet it is very clear that she is leading me onto the right path.
I look at my left arm and spread my own wings, which I use to navigate the dream plane.
I remembered correctly, the wings on my left arm do look exactly the same way as the wings of the phoenix.

"When I use these wings to teleport, that is actually a phoenix ability."

I say this more as a realization than a question.
And after saying it I know that I am right.
I can use these wings to move through the fabric of space and easily navigate the dream plane by doing so.
I can also heal other beings, but the ability is far too complex for me to do anything major.
I could never revive someone, not even a very simple being, such as an insect.
The sheer amount of energy this would require is beyond my imagination.
I remember that I have used these abilities many years ago in my dreams.
My vision is blurry, I assume the dream is about to end, I feel like I should thank her before it does.

"Thank you, I have indeed learned many things from this experience."

I say this quite awkwardly, I am a bit shy.
Faye approaches me and whispers into my ear.

"I am your dream guide you know, this is what I do, maybe you should ask me for help more often..."