Xanous' Dream Journal

#501-DILD-4:00AM

Well this should make up a little for the last few LDs; really vivid and stable.

I am in some strange house back in town. I see my Father and and wife milling about. Then we are in a car looking at the house. Neighbor's are outside staring at us. I think how this is all wrong. We live out of town now. I hate this. Then we are back in the living room. I am still perplexed why I am living in town, but then it dawns on my that this has to be a dream.

I immediately remember the lucid task to put my head through the floor. I kneel down and take a moment to stabilize visually. I pay close attention to my hands and the carpet. The texture is very vivid and the color is something like faded dingy mauve. It looks like someone needs to vacuum or, perhaps, shampoo. I go ahead and start pushing my heading into the floor. It feels a little like jello then solid wall. I try several times and stop when I realize and I not thinking about it the right way. This is more like phasing. I think to reach through like its an open window. Suddenly, There is an electronic whoooomp sound and a space opens up for my head and I peak into the sub-flooring. Of course, it's pitch black so I snap my fingers and create a flash light with my index finger. ET phone home? I am a little shocked how well my dream control it. Darkness it always a struggle for me, but everything is now brightly lit.

There seems to be a space of a few feet deep in here and directly in front of me is a mirror. I look into it and see my face is just a skull is with frame around it. I giggle at the oddity and then look around some more. The area is dirty with a few pieces of scattered trash. I try to take mental note of each piece but quickly realize it's a waste of time.

I stand up and now my head is poking out the top of the roof. I go ahead and climb up and see one of the neighbors taking out the trash. I tell him he's not my real neighbor and that I don't live here. He asks why and I say that it's because I don't like him. Then for some reason, I jump down and hit him with both feet. As I do, he grows like Jake the Dog and pushes me back up on the roof. Everything is getting weird and I realize that I am loosing focus. I decide to go ahead and wake up so I don't lose lucidity and forget the dream.

#421 - DILD - 5:20AM

I wake at some point to use the toilet then fall back to sleep with mantra.

Something about being at a church. Someone gets shitty with my and pisses me off so I leave.

I am traveling with my kids and wife and we end up staying in an empty trailer house. I assume we have permission, but I worry about getting caught. I'm not really sure if we have permission afterall. I see headlights and watch a car drive up a hill to a huge mansion. I get a snapchat of my son with my younger sister and her family. I 'remember' she is babysitting him for a while. I decide to play Gameboy a little before bed. Someone yells at my older daughter. I think it was my mom. I look at my phone and see it's 11:45pm. She's crying so, I tell daughter that she has 15 minutes and then we have to get some sleep. I notice the sun coming up through a window and I say to daughter, "You know it gets light at midnight now?"
She looks surprised, but says nothing
"Yeah, that's right." I feel this is true statement, but I am not totally convinced so, just to be sure, I do a quick nose plug. I blow through, but I think I must have not plugged my nose enough. I squeeze harder, but still blow clean. I'm totally shocked so I do it a third and fourth time until I totally believe.

I leave the bedroom at the end of the house and move back to the living room we were just in. It's dark outside again so I decide to play with punching at walls. When I connect, it feels like thick, soft rubber and makes no damage. I think it's kind of funny so I take several punches at the wall until I feel like my hand break through. However, when I remove my hand there is still no damage to the wall. I try the front door all to the same effect. I notice now that day light has return through the large bay window. I can see leaves on the brown grass outside and decide to use that as a visual focal point as I phase through the glass.

I keep thinking that I had some goals I wanted to try, but I just can't recall. I decide to run up the hill to the huge mansion and it takes some time getting there. I feel strange in my eyes like I have them open too wide and I'm trying too hard to focus. I try to ignore this and purposefully don't think about waking up. As I am walking up the hill, I feel my eyes rolling up too far to see so I tilt my head back to adjust. At the top, The large mansion is now several super small houses. I wonder if anyone is around so I shout, "HEY!... HEEEEEYYYY!" No one shows. I start to enter one of the houses, but it's at this point that I suddenly wake up.

#397 - DEILD - 7:08AM

My WBTB was around 2:30AM and I kept it super brief. I was up only long enough to take some galantamine and wash it down with cold peppermint tea. This G night was a little disappointing since I didn't start becoming aware until much later in the morning. I suppose it was because I have been having back issues and I over did it with muscle relaxers pre-bed making me extra tired. Sometimes its hard to find that balance between dream and wakefulness that's required for LD and a lot of thinks factor into it.

I partially wake from a dream and enter DEILD. I have vibrations and slowly float out of body. I see something odd made of red laser light but I ignore it since I feel really unstable. I exit the room and find myself in what looks like D's house (my mom's friend). I haven't been here since I was little and I am surprised it's showed up in this dream. I just want to get outside so I exit the front door. There is a lot of stuff out there and I spot a cat curled up sleeping in a cushioned chair. I reach down and pet the cat on the head. The cat responds with a low purring meow sound and I walk away. I step into the yard only to find the edge of dream world disappearing into the void. I don't want to deal with that so I try entering another part of the house. I open a door but there is void in there too. Instead of stepping in, I reach an arm in and feel around for a light switch. The dream seams to be breaking up so I look back at the well lit porch for stability. After flipping the switch, I look back to see nothing has happened. I enter the room anyway and find myself lost in the void. I try going back but the door I came in is no longer there. I need stimuli and go with the first thing I think of. Sex. I blind summon a naked female body and couple with her. Her face look sort of familiar but no one I really recognized. We make out and things start to become more sexual but I stop as I begin to feel a bit of guilt. The dream crashes here and I wake up.

#398 - DILD - 8:53AM

I am at the park up the road from my house looking at my old Ford Ranger that I used to own in waking life. There is a wheel missing and the other tires are flat. For some reason I have a push lawn mower and my mountain bike. I really want to ride the bike but I don't want to leave the mower here. I try putting the mower in the truck cab but it wont fit. I realize I drove my SUV and fit the mower in the back of that. I spot some tough looking men with colorful glasses strutting by. I worry that they are up to no good but they don't bother me or my stuff. I feel the need for some shades and spot some white ones in the front seat and put them on. I realize that I don't usually wear white but I figure I may as well try something different. There was a lot of time spent here messing around with things but I finally feel content and decide to hop on my bike.

As I ride my bike toward the street I notice something feels odd. I look down and see the tires are flat on the bicycle. I decide to keep pedaling as I head in the direction of the gas station to get air. I tell myself that if I pretend the tires are normal then they will be. This thought reminds me of dream control and brings me to full lucidity.I am nearly into the street now and I decide that I will be able to ride super fast with the cars. Unfortunately, it's kind of slow and difficult like riding up hill. Although I can't pull of the speed thing, I know I can't be hurt so, I decide to mess with the oncoming traffic. I spy and orange car and pedal hard toward it expecting some sort of impact. Just before the collusion, my front tire jams up sending me over the handle bars and the car vanishes just before it hits me. This is disorienting but thrilling at the same time. I get back on my bike to experiment with this again but before I get going, someone makes a noise in the other room and wakes me up.

I have two other instances during the morning trying to DEILD. I recall hitting vibrations and trying to move my dream body but not getting very far. I recall very little else and assume I must have lost concentration.

#390 - WILD - Time unknown

Since I missed the past two weekends, I decided to do a quick WBTB at 1AM with the usual Galantamine. I reminded myself why I choose to do this only on a weekend. I really don't seem to get the quality sleep I need and there is never enough time to hit those longer late morning LDs. At least I had some interesting experiences however brief.

I lay down and focus on body sensations. I feel surprised when I begin to feel the early onset of the transition. Getting this feeling this quickly seems to get me way too excited and it ruins. This time I was pretty chill and focused on relaxing deeper. Well, I say it was quick, but now that I think about it, I am not sure whether I dosed off for a bit or not. It was a WILD regardless.

When I get a bit deeper into the vibrations, I fumble my way out of bed. I am blind so I try opening my eyes I but seem to be able to see the bed room from the perspective of laying down. The room looks a bit too bright so I am not sure if this was my physical eyes or not. I really need to test exactly whats happening at this stage with the eyes.

Outside, I try to peer into the darkness or the back of my eyelids in order to see in the dream but nothing is working for me. I end up crawling in the street, feeling the asphalt with my hands for stability. I hear a dog's painful yelp in the distance and the sound morphs into something like a siren from an emergency vehicle. The street is pulled away from me and my fingers drag on the rough surface for brief moment. I feel my self hurling backward my bedroom. I wake up.

I go straight into DEILD and enter vibrations quickly. The only problem is I now notice that my chin is tucked too close to my chest and I am having a hard time breathing. I try to ignore it, but I can't. I break concentration and adjust. Now I have to pee.

I don't bother starting up the DJ because I am afraid the light will rouse me too much. I get comfortable and start over.

#391 - WILD - 2:22AM

After a short time, I notice vibrations and a scene has formed. Kelly from work is talking about football and I am resting in a recliner. I look around and see dog doing funny tricks. A doberman looks decidedly human. I find it humorous but I feel detached. I wonder if the dream is stable enough to move as I get up and move forward. I walk past the dogs into a kitchen area. There is a back door open to a screen door. A familiar woman is at the sink doing dishes. I hear her say, "He's up and moving."
I go outside to a summer day in the country. There are some trees, an open pasture, and hills in the distance. A red checker table cloth catches my peripheral but I ignore it. The scene is beautiful, but dull and non vivid.

I recall my goal to renter my Star Wars dream from the night before but this time with theatrical music. As I blind summon a lightsaber, the dream goes dark. I spin the thing about and see a glowing red blade streak against the void. Unfortunately, the dream fades quickly and I wake up.

I have some other dreams, but frustratingly, they are non lucid.

It's lunch time at work and I want to eat out. l am in the parking lot of the University campus in town and I can't find my car anywhere. I begin to panic and cry that this is the worst lunch experience ever. :lol;

I am with someone in a building but it's all a scam. I can't find the flash light, but another woman knows things that other can't. She tells me exactly where to find it. I dismiss the other woman and follow this one. She tells me she also knows where my car is.

I have a negative experience where my parents show up in the middle of the night/early morning and let themselves in. They want to see my son and loudly call his name. I hiss at them that he is asleep. I argue with my dad over religion and call him a few choice words. I tell him religion ruined my life. I wake feeling bad about the dream.

#388 - DILD/DEILD - 6:46AM

I am entering a house with a young and mildly attractive woman. She is being flirty but I ignore this. She's talking about how she goes running to negate the bad effects of smoking. I tell her that this is really pointless, but she assures me that 10 miles a day is more than enough. I remain unconvinced but I let it go. She tells me that she wants me to go jogging with her but I tell her that it would look bad if we are seen together.

I sit on a couch in the living and she sprawls across a love seat adjacent to me. I notice she's removed most of her clothes and I can see she has grown much fatter with stretch marks and varicose veins all over her body. I notice she has a pretty face and think how its too bad the rest of her looks so horrible.

As I sit I quiet my mind and look around. I can see her family at a dinning table beyond with woman on the love seat. Something looks odd. It's took blurry. I can't make out the faces.
This is a dream. No. I'm just pretending. This is real life. I continue to stare at the family. They look so odd and motionless. Wait... No this might really be a dream. I worry that the dream will crash if I do anything, but I decide to go ahead and do a nose plug to settle my internal debate. I blow cleaning through. The dream crashes. I knew it!

I wake up and move a bit but quickly decide to hold still for DEILD. I focus on deeply relaxing my body and body awareness. I realize that I feel like I am being dragged like someone is pulling me by my though it doesn't feel like anyone has a hold of me. As soon as I note this the sensation stops. I focus on feeling it again and it starts back up. It slow at first but quickly accelerates to high speed. I feel G-forces in my stomach and gasp.

I notice that I am feeling very faint vibrations like tingles in my arms and decide that It's probably safe to move. When I pick up my left arm the dragging stops and I open my dream eyes. It's very sunny in the room and as I get up, I watch my feet move to the floor like I am looking at a foot cam.

I am in a very tiny version of my bedroom with no door to exit. There is only a night stand and a window. I see the window but think it would be funner to phase through the wall. I haven't done this in a while and I very sloppily try to push my face through. It feels like rubber so I try to claw and tear through. Unfortunately, as I struggle with this I am sucked back to my body in bed.

I hold still and wait and quickly see a scene form. I am laying in a sunny spot with trees around me. The green leaves look extremely vivid but when I try to move the scene crashes. I decide to focus and wait for another scene but quickly lose lucidity.


I recall some short and random scenes before waking up. I tell Wurlman about getting lucid. The woman from earlier pulls her pants down and shows me her ass. All those veins. I turn away. Other images that I can't recall.

Commentary
Supplements
Non-Lucid
Lucid


Fragment #1 - 11:24PM

Cartoon Doctor Who in a minecraft field

Mixed Up 3:02am

There are two of my mother-in-laws. One is an impostor. They look very similar but one has an obvious give away. They try to convince my wife that they are both real but she doesn't believe them. They get me to play along. I feel like a liar.
My wife is in college. We are there with her. I see my ex-wife's Aunt V and her family but they are holograms being played in a loop in a fake house like some bad play. My dead grandmother is telling my wife, A, she needs to go to bed for school in the morning. I think I may as well go home. It's a 2 hour drive.

Took
Many disruptions from baby.
Tired MILD then went to WILD. Almost there. Woken up many times.
Tried DEILD. Recall suffered.

Fragment #2 5:37AM

Using the neighbors trash can outside. Somehow our houses are connected and open to each other on the inside. There is an open wall to a bedroom. The old cabinet TV my parents used to own is blocking the entrance. I see an actual doorway around the corner.