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    Xanous' Dream Journal

    1. Not My House

      by , 11-22-2016 at 04:13 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #501-DILD-4:00AM

      Well this should make up a little for the last few LDs; really vivid and stable.

      I am in some strange house back in town. I see my Father and and wife milling about. Then we are in a car looking at the house. Neighbor's are outside staring at us. I think how this is all wrong. We live out of town now. I hate this. Then we are back in the living room. I am still perplexed why I am living in town, but then it dawns on my that this has to be a dream.

      I immediately remember the lucid task to put my head through the floor. I kneel down and take a moment to stabilize visually. I pay close attention to my hands and the carpet. The texture is very vivid and the color is something like faded dingy mauve. It looks like someone needs to vacuum or, perhaps, shampoo. I go ahead and start pushing my heading into the floor. It feels a little like jello then solid wall. I try several times and stop when I realize and I not thinking about it the right way. This is more like phasing. I think to reach through like its an open window. Suddenly, There is an electronic whoooomp sound and a space opens up for my head and I peak into the sub-flooring. Of course, it's pitch black so I snap my fingers and create a flash light with my index finger. ET phone home? I am a little shocked how well my dream control it. Darkness it always a struggle for me, but everything is now brightly lit.

      There seems to be a space of a few feet deep in here and directly in front of me is a mirror. I look into it and see my face is just a skull is with frame around it. I giggle at the oddity and then look around some more. The area is dirty with a few pieces of scattered trash. I try to take mental note of each piece but quickly realize it's a waste of time.

      I stand up and now my head is poking out the top of the roof. I go ahead and climb up and see one of the neighbors taking out the trash. I tell him he's not my real neighbor and that I don't live here. He asks why and I say that it's because I don't like him. Then for some reason, I jump down and hit him with both feet. As I do, he grows like Jake the Dog and pushes me back up on the roof. Everything is getting weird and I realize that I am loosing focus. I decide to go ahead and wake up so I don't lose lucidity and forget the dream.

      Updated 11-22-2016 at 04:17 AM by 5967

      Categories
      lucid , memorable , task of the month
    2. Mexican Classical

      by , 01-05-2016 at 01:35 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      Wow I've been in a bit of a slump and haven't had very many lucids due to my hectic work/life schedule that's been causing me sleep deprivation. I think it's calming down now, so I need to catch up on the DJ especially after this morning. It's not that I've been totally dry, just really slow on the LD's. I've actually had several lucid moments the past month, but they are hardly worth mentioning now.

      #481 - DILD - 4:00am (December 14, 2015)

      There is something about a dude dying his hair then the scene morphs into me standing in a street in my underwear in some suburban area. There is a man talking on the phone with me as I watch a car park on the street with it's headlights lighting up the night. The man on the phone is saying something about a Japanese ghost. I feel some fear so I go into the house I am standing in front of. The phone conversations gets really weird and I hear a third voice talking. Something feels off and I tell them about it on the phone. No one answers and I begin to wonder if I am the ghost. No, that's not it. I now realize that I am actually dreaming.

      I look around the house. There is an open floor plan for the living room and kitchen divided by a bar/island and dining table behind that. I wonder into the kitchen and see the back wall is huge pane glass with a sliding glass patio door. It's too dark outside but I see the interior of the house reflecting back at me. I see a man pass by and disappear into the hallway on the opposite side. Also there is Tonya, a coworker from waking life, standing there looking at me. For some reason I turn around and randomly start doing dishes as I try to think what I want to do. I notice this but don't mind since it's preventing the dream from becoming stagnant and crashing. However, doing dishes in a lucid dream is really boring. Just do something cool.

      I look to the opposite wall and see a huge mirror. I immediately charge over there and effortlessly phase through it into a different house. It looks like a mostly white bedroom, including the walls, carpet and bedspread. There is an acoustic guitar on a stand in the corner of the room. I pick it up and start strumming and figuring the few chords I know. The song is a beautiful Mexican classical and I just play away until I wake up.
      Categories
      lucid , memorable
    3. Hair Cut

      by , 07-22-2015 at 03:07 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #454 - DILD - 4:03AM

      I am out of town with my brother hanging out in a mechanic’s shop. We are good friend's with the owner and I see some one has an open beer sitting out. The own comes into the room and seems very drunk so we all start drinking. Some kid's join in but they take it way too far. A teenage girl and boy take turn shot-gunning can's of beer and one spills a lot. The boy takes a swim in the puddle of beer.

      Our wife's stop in and want us all to go out. I tell them we already went bowling, but I'd be willing to go out again. I am surprised that no one seems to care about the teenagers staggering around drunk. I lay at them because they only drank three beers and they are totally wasted.

      I leave to meet everyone wherever we are going and stop at a fast food restaurant. My old friend Carrie is working there and she seems a little annoyed to see me. I feel awkward and dismiss myself to the restroom. I notice the restroom is very small and only has space for one urinal. I pee then take a look in the mirror. I am shocked that my hair is completely shave off. I look really good bald, but miss my hair. I wonder if someone shaved my hair when I was drunk, but I don't see how I wouldn't know. Suddenly, it dawns on me and I say to my mirror DC, "I am dreaming!" I watch my reflection spin around as my hair now looks longer in places and with bald patches. I stare amused at this until I wake up.
      Categories
      lucid
    4. Alien Eyes / Smell TOTM

      by , 05-13-2015 at 12:35 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #435 - WILD - 4:15AM

      I did a WBTB coffee (2tbsp coffee grounds + 1tbsp sugar) at 4AM. Chug and and crash focusing on WILD.

      I quickly recognize the usual sensations but it hard to get out. I realize I need some stimuli and the first thing I think of is sex. During the enjoyment, I notice a very young girls is sleeping next to me in the same bed while some woman is riding me. I begin to feel awkward and want to get away. I notice that I am deep enough in the dream now, so I push the woman off and mutter, "That's enough."

      I easily stand up and wonder into the bathroom. I have an embarrassing situation that I try to ignore so I look into the mirror to distract me. My face distorts and I now have large aliens eyes. Instead of the deep black associated with gray's, I have white glowing light like my eye are made of some sort of reflective material. I marvel at the glowing light from within for a second and then decide to try playing with the mirror a bit. It looks really dirty witch is distracting but it seems like there is a different room past my reflection. I press my face into the glass and it stretches like soft rubber. I pull back and try to focus on something in the background, hoping to fall in, but I suddenly wake up.


      #436 - DEILD -5:08AM

      Having realize that only 15 minutes passed since I drank coffee, I decide it can't have kicked in much though I feel mildly stimulated. I relax focusing on my face as I body awareness meditation and quickly pass out.

      There is something about my brother visiting my house. Me setting at table telling myself that I am dreaming, but not caring much. Maybe I thought I had it under control, but lucidity slips away. After talking with my brother, I decide it's time to lay down for WILD.

      I am in a room eating white grapes with a small boy. Then try to eat something like a grape, but rock hard. The dream fades to darkness, but I hear a voice telling me to hold me focus and wait (meaning DEILD).

      I have WILD sensations, but I am able to blindly get up. I jump around to stimulate my dream body. It feels super odd. I begin to float so I open my eyes. I am now standing in the room again. There is trash everywhere and the little boy is just looking at me. He gives me a grape and I taste it. Bland. I recall the smell TOTM and quickly search the floor. I spot a banana peel, pick it up, and give it a good sniff. Nothing. I try again breathing deeper, but now I am too aware of my physical body. I remember breath is the only connection to waking world. I stop and try an orange peel that's near the spot where I found the banana. It has a mild, undefinable scent. I now recall my monster TOTM and tap the boy's elbow. "Common!", I say as I start to look for a bed. I wake up.

      Updated 05-13-2015 at 12:42 AM by 5967

      Categories
      lucid , task of the month
    5. The Women's Restroom

      by , 04-01-2015 at 10:28 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #427 - DILD - 12:08AM

      I went to bed around 9pm but was having another very restless night. I ended up meditating a little and then falling asleep with "lucid dreaming" as a mantra.

      I am driving; following my mom in another car. We are going to church, but she's super early for some reason. I turn off decided to see if Wal-Mart has an item I need IWL. As I turn down a side street, I contemplate going to church with my parents. I shout out loud, "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO CHURCH!" I look up at my rear-view mirror and see myself. I have a scowl on my face and my hair looks disheveled. Then, it dawns on my that I don't have to anymore. I'm a grown ass man. I decide I'll not go to church, but not go home either. I'll just spend the time shopping for stuff I've been wanting to buy.

      I am suddenly in a fast food restaurant and I realize this sudden change in scene triggering lucidity. The first thing I think of is to find Bemistaken. I don't know why, but I feel like the women's restroom is the more logical place to look. I look to my left and see the restroom sign and entryway. I shout for Bemistaken and a stall opens up. A woman pops her head out smiling, but she only looks like a poor imitation. Rather than probing farther, I quickly dismiss the woman. I suddenly, recall the mirror task from last month and remember that I wanted to do it better. I turn to the sinks and push my face into the glass. The other side looks much the same, but I decide it must have just taken me through the wall into the men's room. The dream is starting to fade now, but I manage to look around and see urinals to confirm my idea. I quickly wake up.

      2:09AM

      I am on a plane ride with my wife and kids. I try for a window seat but the plane is made like a hotel room. There are recliners near a large plane glass window. I want to take pictures of the view, but I have to fasten my way too young baby daughter in her car seat.

      5:45AM

      I am with all the people I work with and we all see a tornado in the distance. I take a snapchat video and watch the replay. I can see sparks from power lines snapping. Suddenly, one is much closer and coming our way. We all turn to go back inside, but we are just in some old trailer house. It's a small tornado that blows over us. I heard popping and crashing, some glass shatters, but we are all fine. I ask about [someone] and my boss says she was caught outside. I go out and see my car is totally flat. I cry about not buying the Gap Insurance. I go to find my wife in another trailer. Her father is there and I ask about her whereabouts. He just shrug like he doesn't care. I berate him for this and then find her sleeping on a cot. I tell her about the car but she just stares at me blankly. I go outside to take a video of myself and my car. I try to tell what happened but I keep getting choked up. I should have just bought the Gap Insurance.

      Updated 04-01-2015 at 10:35 PM by 5967

      Categories
      lucid
    6. The Mirror And The Void

      by , 03-06-2015 at 05:18 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #419 - DEILD - 5:25AM

      WBTB @ 4AM 2TBS Coffee grounds, 3 TBSP Sugar, 1/4 cup milk

      I feel pretty wide awake after drinking the coffee as if the caffeine takes effect right away. I have a hard time sleeping and the goddamned cats keep making noise in the other room. I spend the next hour or so in fitful dreamless sleep until toward the end. I have an upsetting dream where I am overly upset that my wife is keeping me awake and didn't set the alarm.


      I wake up and notice that I am in vibrations already. I go ahead and do some phase cycles and when I get to the rolling one, I fall out of bed. I still feel some attachment to my waking body as is some kind of super stretchy tar is clinging to me. I hit the floor and let out a yell of delight. I don't recall the exact order of events during this initial phase, but I basically spend a lot of time enjoying the feeling of being a disembodied spirit floating around the bedroom doing various, random things. Everything is way too dark, but at one point I float to my closet, open the door and scream into hoping for something scary to be in there. Nothings shows up so I close the door and float back up. During most of this I am overly aware of the feeling of the silver cord holding me close to my physical body though I don't bother to visually confirm this — I really don't want to give it too much attention. I eventually make it out the front door in a blind rush, but feel a pull back to my body by means of the cord.

      I do another quick DEILD and this time I am able to get up fairly easily. I think of the mirror TOTM and head to the bathroom. The dream starts to clarify and lighten up as I turn to look at my reflection. I look mostly like myself but I have my son's eyes and my hair is much longer. I spend a moment taking a long close look while chuckling to myself then dive right on in the mirror. There is some resistance, but I get in fairly easy. To my disappointment, I have entered the void. It's not that the dream has gone dark because I can hold my hands up and can see them just fine. I rush forward and grope around for something 'physical' in the void. My hands come across a strong feminine jawline. I feel the lips and kiss them as my hand works down to other parts. After a second I can clearly see this woman and she looks strangely familiar yet not familiar. I later realize she is a compilation of all my past lovers. I continue to make out with her/them, but I feel no real sexual stimulation and it all seems so wrong. However, I continue just for the purpose of stabilization. It's not long until something external wakes me up.

      Updated 03-06-2015 at 05:21 AM by 5967

      Tags: caffeine, mirror, sex, void
      Categories
      lucid , task of the month
    7. Red M&Ms

      by , 02-16-2015 at 12:38 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #413 - DEILD - 9:40AM

      I have many dream late in the morning with several lucid moment that I forgot until this one.

      I DEILD and enter heavy HI that turns into a dream scene without losing awareness. I am standing in front of a really large mirror at the bottom of a grassy hill. In the mirror, I see two red M&M people standing at the top; One big and one small.

      Dreams inside of Dreams-mm.jpg

      I step to the left and still see the M&Ms at the top of the hill waving at me. This confuses me because the view in the mirror is slightly different and I have no reflection. I'm not sure why this is happening so I move back and forth from the mirror finding the effect is the same. I feel that I have a funny look on my face as I say, "Well, I am dreaming." This confirmation sets me into action. As I run fast up the hill at the larger M&M, I hear a mental voice telling me to eat the M&M. It's reminding me of a task that someone told me about. I am not sure if this is a false memory or I read it on lucid dares, but I decide to go for it.

      As I rush up the M&M rushes down to pass by me, but as he does, I am able to take a huge bit out of him. I note the taste is just like it should be and continue running for a bit until I stop at the top of the hill. When I turn around, I see the smaller clone of the one I bit come running back up the hill. He looks to have a large football in his arms and I decide to tackle him. I jump on top of him, but he doesn't slow down. I look up the hill and notice vision bouncing from the rough ride as I cling to the little red M&M. I appreciate this little detail as I wake up.


      Another little segment of lucidity. Time unknown.

      I see S leaving work. I decide to.. ehem... "talk to her". (curse you menthol!) but she walks away quickly. I call out to her, but she continues to avoid me. She enters and exits several outdoor structures changing appearances as she passes through. None of this fools me and she looks more and more attractive each time. I continue to chase after until I wake up feeling like a douche.

      Updated 02-16-2015 at 12:41 AM by 5967

      Categories
      lucid
    8. The Crypt Keeper

      by , 02-15-2015 at 11:56 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #411 - DEILD - 5:13AM

      4AM WBTB, Galantamine/choline with peppermint tea.

      I wake slightly realizing I lost focus. For some reason I was pretty wired at WBTB and had a hard time getting settled. I don't recall dreaming, but focus on DEILD. I feet a familiar shift in my body almost on command and exit pretty quickly. For some reason I head to the bathroom to find a something like a really tall crypt keeper coming at me trying to bite my face.

      LDGuy's 3D Art-crypt-keeper.jpg

      I reflexively put a protective arm over myself and push away with the other. The room lights up and now I think of it more like a zombie. Fear starts to creep in but I remind myself that it's just my dream and the fear goes away. I remember how easy zombies are to kill in The Walking Dead so, I grab the thing with both hands and smash it's face into the mirror over the sink. I am shocked when I see neither one of us have a reflection. There was a definite face impact on something but it seems more like a window than a mirror. I look loser for a reflection and find two alternate versions of myself. On has a curly white-boy-fro and is standing in the door way. The other has long straight hair and is smiling at something in to the right that I can't see. I remember the Crypt Keeper and get back to mashing it's face into the mirror again. This time I really hope for a reflection and I see it now and, even though my reflection is absent, I am satisfied. I smash the thing one more time and see it's jaw drop away. I figure that has to be good enough and I have a strong desire to get out of this uncomfortable situation.

      I wander into the kitchen and find the rest of the house is way too dark. I try a light switch with no luck. I try snapping my fingers but I get a weird visual of my hands flapping around really fast in the darkness. I feel really rushed and worried that I am taking up too much time messing with stuff, but I remember Dreamers' time technique and calm myself. I have all the time in the world. I decide to just go outside now, but I'm still stuck on the idea of making light. I snap my fingers, but it just feels really weird. I try making a fire on my finger but nothing happens. I find myself at the door but when I try to open it, it's locked. I fumble with the deadbolt with little success until I remember how ridiculous it is to be worried about all that in a dream. I pull the door extra hard and there is a jolt and a pop like something broke and the doors opens.

      When I get to the porch I begin to float. It's a dull, grey, overcast day and the air feels extra cool. There is some silver colored van parked in my yard. I notice the tail lights are lit up so I decide to go investigate but my I can't seem to make myself float over. About the time I start struggling the van drives ways. Yell out at the driver as I return to the ground to run after it, but it's long gone now and I don't care enough to pursue. In the street, I see it's made of gravel rather than asphalt. I find this mildly interesting but mostly ignore it. I start to feel rushed again, but remind myself that there is plenty of time and not to worry about it. It helps some, but I know the dream time is limited and there's stuff I want to do.

      There is another car stopping in the street and I recall one goal. I want to see how far I can stretch my arms to grab something. I reach out at the car and my arms stretch out and snake around until I can feel something. It I may have reached about 20 feet out and grabbed the edge of the wheel well. It's an odd sensation and as I am experiencing this I ear a woman's voice close in my left ear. I reflexively forget about my arms and the car and spin around to see who's talking to me. To my surprise, I see no one.

      I walk down the street looking for the woman with out luck. While I'm doing this, I recall other goals. I think of the Pegasus TOTY but I feel like this dream world is really unstable. In fact, it feels really taxing trying to hold it all together. I recall another task, to see how running feels now that I have started to do so in waking life. I turn to start, but I see a woman walking across the street. She must be the one so I head over to her. I talk to her but my words feel jumbled and her reply makes no sense. I struggle to talk clearer, but about that time the dream fades into a dull white color.


      I open my eyes facing my wife's side of the bed. I see she has her cell phone on and the light from it must have woke me up. She has her phone partly under the cover like she is trying not to disturb me, but it's still really bright. I ask, "What are you doing?"
      She tells me, "Just... this."
      I think shes just being rude and I become really pissed off that she woke me out of a lucid dream. In a huff, I roll over to my other side jerking the covers and say in a loud whinny voice, "You woke me up! What the hell?"
      Then I realize something feels off. The sensation of rolling over was very dull and numb. This is a familiar effect of my dream body. Happy again I say, "I'm not awake!" I roll back over but end up on top of my wife. She has put her phone away, but for some reason I ask, "What was that anyway?"
      She replies, "I'll show you... hold on."
      Before I say or do anything else stupid, I go ahead and do a quick nose plug to make sure I am really dreaming. I feels redundant, but I enjoy the confirmation. Now I say, "You're not real."
      Then, my wife's face morphs into the Crypt Keeper from earlier and I bail. It's not that I am afraid, but I really don't want to deal with that nasty thing again.

      I recall my running task again as I head back to the front door. I start running while singing, "Run run run baaaby." When I get to the door, I wake up. This time for real.

      Updated 02-16-2015 at 05:46 AM by 5967

      Categories
      lucid
    9. I Am Darth Vader

      by , 01-17-2015 at 08:34 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #400 - DILD - 8:33AM

      I have a long dream that I am reading a handwritten story about surviving the zombie apocalypse on post-it notes and notebook paper. As I am reading I am in the story observing things as I find pieces of paper with the next segment of the story. I don't recall everything as a lot happened that didn't make much sense.

      I have an FA and find my cousin Jared with guns and heavy artillery. He's prepping for an attack. Then he has a suction cup ball that he throws around.



      The ball is spewing out some kind of water color and I think of the color run but it's all over my bedroom walls. I hope it will wash. The ball comes my way and paint gets in my mouth. I sit up and choke on it a bit then tell Jared about my dream.

      *memory gap*

      This maybe be a different new dream but I am in some Star Wars setting going down corridors and triggering switches. I have entered some robotic body like a mech suit or something similar. It's hard to recall all that happened but it all very video game like. during the next part I gradually become lucid without any real 'ah ha' moment. I am done with whatever I was doing and come to a new area. I see the crumbled body of Darth Vader in a corner. There seems to be some metallic connecting points in his torso and I decide that I should be able to embody him like I did with the robot. I set over him and sink in. I see the dark uniform cover my body and I stand up. I hear my Darth Vader breathing sound, "Ruuuuu. ppppprt. Ruuuuuuuu. ppppppprt." I feel dark and powerful and continue down a new set of corridors. I can' remember all that I did but activate switches, force jump over gaps, and use the force to move objects. I move swiftly through the obstacles with ease. I come the end of one section. There is a colorful panel on the floor. I decide it must the an elevator platform. I stand on it and it descends to darkness. I worry about the void here and focus on seeing the next section. After a moment I see that I am on a high catwalk with a yellow rail. I am facing the rail and decide to vault over it. I think about my method but for some reason force jumping over seems too hard. Instead I put my hands on the rail and launch a flip over the side. I worry about the visual of spinning destabilizing the dream and actually slow things down so its not too disorienting.

      At the bottom and I land firmly and am facing a some sliding glass doors like at a grocery story. I use the force to open them and step out into a bright sunny day. The landscape is arid and desolate. The parking lot is cracked with weeds growing and there are no cars around. In the distance I see a vast dessert like on Tatooine. I feel lost here and unsure what to do next. I look around and see shopping carts strewn about. I use the force to throw them around. One cart lands at the feet of a dark skinned bald woman in light brown robes. Her eye narrow and she assumes a fighting stance. I realize I have started a fight with a Jedi and quickly send several shopping carts in her direction. She vanishes before my eyes just before the carts hit her. I wonder what new force power this. I am very intrigued. I wonder if she really vanished or if she was just invisible. I reach out and grab a shopping cart in each hand and begin spinning hoping to hit her if she gets near me. This destabilizes the dream and I wake up.

      I quickly DEILD and visually reenter the dream. No SP or vibrations this time. I am not Darth Vader anymore but I am walking down a long gray Star Wars corridor. I pass a mirror and pause. Though I am mostly bald, I have white hair that looks a lot like Will Ferrel in Zoonlander without the part. Also, I am wearing something that looks a lot like Raiment of Arden-Sul from Shivering Isle expansion in Elder Scrolls: Oblivion. (I was playing last night)

      Has anyone learnt anything from LD's-willzoo.jpg

      I find the hair very distracting and I mostly want to see what I look like bald. I adjust myself so that my hair is cut of at the top of the mirror. Somehow I turn my head to the left with out changing my view. have hair on the side and back but the top is so bald. I decide I won't look too bad if I ever loose my hair in the future. Satisfied, I wonder what to do next. LSD! I finally remember my dream goal. I want to do some LSD and see what my best guess of the drug would be like in a dream. Unfortunately, this when my body decides to wake up for good.
    10. Dumbily-Wumbily

      by , 08-25-2013 at 04:09 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      This series of dreams were a little disappointing. I am embarrassed at how sloppy I've become. I made a number of mistakes and really didn't get anywhere with my goal. At least I got multiple lucids!

      I took a longer WBTB than usual (longer than 5 min) with this one and got on Playstation Home Doctor Who pack and explored the TARDIS a bit trying to take in all the visuals of the inside. I think it would have been helpful if I had actually summoned one up or just materialized myself straight inside versus making the blue box first. I was worried about insomnia when I went to bed as I was super wakeful. I had to use my technique for falling asleep and abandon any lucid induction. I was surprised to DILD but with Galantamine it's almost effortless the first few hours. I really need to concentrate on my techniques after my mini awakenings instead of just falling back to mantra. It works... sort of, but I think the experience would be much better with a little more focus. A lot of times I just want to get back to sleep as fast as possible but still try for lucid. Mantras seems to be my fall back method during these times.


      Coffee:


      #216 - 3:25AM - DILD

      I have an FA and find my self getting some coffee. The set up looks like work but its a checkout line at Wal-Mart. I try to grab a Styrofoam cup but they are dirty with holes in them. I move the to other side and see some clean new cups. I get coffee from the dispenser. Mary, the janitor is standing next to the coffee machine. I nod at her and walk away sipping my coffee. (No physical sensation or taste)

      My cousin starts texting me while I am walking and though I cant read the words I seem to think that I know what we are saying to each other.

      Suddenly, I am in my living room on the floor next to the couch. I still have my coffee in my hand but I am not really drinking it. I am in contemplation and I feel something is off. I am drinking more caffeine? This isn't a good idea if I am going to go back to bed and try to get lucid. SHIT! I should always RC after any awakening I do a nose plug but don't really put thought into it. I don't even know if I blew threw or not. Then, I hear someone going out the front door. It's my wife. She tells me that she is going outside to get something and I can hear the keys jingle in her hand. No. She should be asleep. That's not like her at this hour. I AM dreaming! I walk to the front door and remember to pause and take in the detail. I look at the door and notice it is very different than waking reality. There is a large window in the middle of it. It's wooden and the paint is weathered and peeling off. Then I forget this and rush outside because all I want to do is get in the TARDIS.

      Outside the air is cold. Always the air is cold in lucids. Why is this? I enjoy the feeling of it, but I begin to notice that I feel really odd like I have a head cold and there is cloth wrapped around my head, chin to top. It feels heavy and I try to ignore it. I wonder if something is happening to my body in bed. I suddenly feel myself lying on my back and there is nothing on my head now. No don't want to do that. I focus and continue to walking with no other distraction. There is a street lamp to the right and void to the left. I let control slip a bit and just allow myself to wander in a random direction believing I will go straight to the TARDIS. I realize that I am walking barefoot but this time I feel like I am wearing shorts with a hoodie instead of the usual underwear only. Suddenly, I feel a sharp and realistic pain in my left foot and assume I stepped on a peddle on the sidewalk. I let out a whispered, "Ouch!" And grab my foot for a moment. I am shocked at the vividness of the pain but quickly put it out of my mind. I come around to the driveway side of the house and stop. I think it should be appearing now and can faintly hear that unique sound of it's engines. I get several brief and dim images of the TARDIS spinning in flight and appearing in various positions in my driveway. Suddenly, I hear the explosion of a gunshot from somewhere behind me. My physical body jerks in reaction to the sound and the dream breaks apart waking me up.


      Mirror:

      #217 - DILD - 4:29AM


      I hear my son crying and my wife gets up. The light is on but I have a blanket over my face and lying on my left side. I try not to move because I think I am trying to WILD and I am still in the same position that I laid down. Something feels odd. I can feel the air of the ceiling fan on my face and my breath is not obstructed in the least bit. Then, I hear an electronic robotic buzzing sound from behind me and the blankets vibrate like a strong wind is blowing. I immediately know that I am dreaming and do not feel frightened. The sound stops.

      I get up and am in the kitchen. I see my wife standing there in the doorway looking very sexy. I grab her and we passionately kiss like its the first time. After a moment, I remember my task and let her go. We can do this later. There is a coffee pot full of coffee on the edge of the sink. I laugh. What is it with coffee in my dreams? I spend several minutes aimlessly searching the house for the TARDIS but don't have any real focus.

      Then, I see the front door, but it's not a door at all. It's a large mirror. I run to it intending to dive head first. I pass a DC. Was it my daughter? She says something but I am focused on the mirror. I can see my reflection as I get closer. There are two of me but for some reason I think it's normal. Then, as I dive there is no reflection and I focus on reaching beyond. I get stuck at the waist for a second and wiggle through. I stand up and realize that I went from a very clean and tidy version of my house to a very dirty and messy version of my house. I look around still trying to find a TARDIS but suddenly, the dream collapses.

      I try to DEILD but find myself stuck in bed. I realize my head is floating and not touching the pillow. I roll into the floor and stop. I am in another bed with my head floating. I roll again, fall once more and stop on the floor. I suddenly wake up.


      Fridge:

      #218 - DEILD? - 4:47AM

      I either wake up or have a FA. I berate myself for letting awareness slip again. I mantra, "I am dreaming." but suddenly realize that I either I never really woke up or I went straight into a DEILD. I say, "I am still dreaming." (from the times maybe there was not so much a gap after all.)

      I am in the kitchen again. No... a different kitchen. I see a very large fridge and decide to turn it into a TARDIS . There only seems to be one light source in the middle of the room and the area the around fridge is cast in deep shadow. Feeling the fridge, I circle around it into the void phasing past cabinets and walls. I am blind now but my physical sensation is vivid. I imaging how the outside of the TARDIS should feel and it quickly takes shape. When I think I have it, I open my eyes. The sensation of my eyelids feels startlingly real. I pause a moment but realize I am hugging a huge blue box.

      I excitedly step back but it just looks like some wardrobe with solid wood doors painted TARDIS blue. I become annoyed and obsessed with getting it at least somewhat right. I spin the front around and try again. I just want to see "Police Call Box" on the front before I go in. When I spin it back around there is some cheap ass black label with white random letters on it. Something catches my eyes and I look left. There is the damned Police Call Box sign handing from the ceiling above the kitchen sink.

      I decide to let that go and turn my attention back to this half formed TARDIS. To my dismay, the blue box has turned to a type of plastic cardboard. I try to straighten it out and shape it back into a box but not matter what I do, the entire process is clumsy and the material becomes increasingly floppy and weak. I stop and realize the humor it in all. I take a moment and just laugh at it. Then I let out a mocking "WHOOOOHOOO!" I enjoy the sound of my dream voice and shout out again. Laughing I say something Doctor Who-ish, "Dumbily-Wumbily." I just laugh at myself and suddenly wake up.


      The next time I wake is around 7:50AM with no other recall. For some reason I thought I had 4 lucids. The feeling of forgetting something is maddening!

      Updated 09-07-2013 at 08:45 PM by 5967 (Forgot the gunshot and the peddle.)

      Categories
      lucid , false awakening , memorable
    11. Through The Mirror (& card attempt #3)

      by , 06-23-2013 at 02:36 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      color code:
      Gray = Comments
      Black = Non-Lucid
      Bold = non lucid dream cues
      Italics = dream thoughts
      Red = Lucid

      I wake briefly and feel wakeful so I go for WILD. I have a lot of very heavy hypnagogia making it super easy.

      #193 - 6:00AM - WILD - 2 of 2

      I see a scene almost movie like. I am lucid but have no control. I am looking around behind the shed in my back yard. There is something hidden there or buried underneath that I don't want anyone to find. I want it to stop so it doesn't get discovered. I have great anxiety.

      I turn around and see 5 from the movie 9 in a cage but its made of wicker and hay. I trust my hand through the weak wall of hay on the bottom half and pull him out

      I turn around again and I am in my ex-in-laws drive way. I phase through the glass of the bay windows and see my ex's brother lying on a mattress. There is darkness but I wait it out until things clear up. I see him lying there at first in jeans then naked. I feel extreme hatred for him and bite his dick off. I feel something in my mouth but it feels like I am biting my bottom lip. There is no pain but the shock of what I just did wakes me a little. I promised myself I was going to treat DC's like waking life from now on.


      I am standing at the kitchen sink rinsing out the coffee pot. Somehow I realize I just chugged the whole thing and was about to make another pot. I feel odd about this and tell myself I am dreaming. I feel like I am lying to myself but I go with it anyway.

      I put grounds and water together in the pot and set it on the stove for a second with no fire. I tell myself that if this is a dream it will be perfect coffee without my trying. I pick up the coffee and put my hand in it. I looks normal and feels hot already. OK fine. I fully believe that I am dreaming now and gather my sense of self. I focus and try to think of goals. I realize that I am in my house so I go for the card. I wonder if that same idea applies even-though this is not an OBE. Still, I figure it will be fun to try.

      When I get into the next room. I see darkness but totally ignore it and just visualize what I was going to do. I feel myself pull up to the top of the china cabinet. At the top I can see again. There is the card. I pick up up and at first it is the 9 of diamonds but the diamonds then morph to hearts. I jump down and walk back into the kitchen were there is more light. When I look at the card again it is half jack half king of clubs. I stare at it and laugh out loud and how funny this looks. I flip the card over and am a little shocked that is black and says Fallout on the back. (I totally forgot that I used the deck of Fallout New Vegas playing cards!) I also note that the card is thin like paper. I shrug the strangeness off and flip the card back over. It is now jack/queen of clubs. I stop. I turn to my daughter who has been looking over my shoulder. When the hell did that start? I say to her, "OK. I need to focus." I think, What is the card really? I set all my intent to really seeing the true card. When I look again it is the 7 of diamonds then the diamond turn to circles. 7 of diamonds. Good enough. I drop the card and in doing so the dream fades to black. No worries. Next dream please! (When I later looked at the card it was the 5 of diamonds. Close!)

      I am back in bed and feel rather randy. Amy Pond from DW comes to mind. She instantly appears and I begin having sex with her.



      After some time I begin to feel guilty and I try to imagine my wife. A blond version of her shows up and I finish with her. It was very detailed but, once again, I'll spare the reader and save myself some embarrassment.

      Horrible segment I know but at least I tried to make it right!

      After that, I have a false awakening but I am not at all fooled by it. I think about waking myself for real to record the dream but remember that I told myself I would do that again. I'll just have to trust that I'll remember all when I wake up. I get out of bed thinking must have messed myself. For some reason I am wearing jeans shorts. I find that odd since I haven't owned a pair since the 90's. I laugh a little at that.

      Then, I notice something on my hands. It looks like some kind of thick clear goo like egg white. OMG that's so gross! I rush to the bathroom and begin to wash my hands in the sink. I note how real it all feels. I think I should probably just ignore it until it goes away but I become distracted by my reflection in the mirror. I sing a little tune while studying my reflection. "I'm lucid, I'm lucid, I'm so lucid..."

      Now I really do forget about washing as my reflection morphs into many different versions of me. Most of them look dark and creepy. Some are zombie like and some are just plain evil. I don't worry about it and find it all very amusing. At some point I think to morph in to a Blutbad or werewolf. I naturally shift into it like I have before but this time I have the pleasure of closely watching it all happen up close in the mirror. I let out a low growl to help it all along. the low rumble coming from deep in my throat sounds and feels very convincing. I look down and see my hands are elongated, furry, with long sharp Wolverine claws. I relax and shift back to normal, then step back a little to get a clear view of my normal self. All the shifty morphing has stopped now and my reflection becomes clear and sharper than it had been. I look a little prettier than waking life and I say out loud, "Damn, I'm good looking!" Then for fun I go full werewolf and back again.

      I decide to play a little more but this time I focus on my teeth. I open my mouth a little and try to give myself vampire fangs. My teeth look really dirty and brownish but ignore that. At first just the typical two canines slowly grow out and become sharp. I was feeling pleased with my abilities when suddenly all my teeth grow out long and sharp. At that, I decide that I've had enough and become interested with the mirror itself.

      My teeth looked like Prisoner Zero from DW:


      I tentatively push on the mirror with one finger. Again it feels as solid as stone. I push a little harder with my full palm but it doesn't change. I remember to focus on there being no glass. I try to reach behind my reflection but instead of just my arm going in, I fall in head first. The reflection becomes another room with it's own dept and realism. I feel a stuck at the waist for a moment and I feel the barely contained panic expression on my face. Almost like embarrassment. I force myself to relax and wiggle through. There's a split second of darkness starting to settle in as I fall through and become a little disoriented. Again I just ignored the darkness and it goes away.

      I stand up and look around. The bathroom reminds me of a small restroom that was connected my class room when I was in Kindergarten so long ago. I hear a class bell and feel like I better get moving. There are two doors on both sides of the room. The right side feels like the way to go as I think the left must go back to my bedroom. I exit right.

      Now I am in a large school that seems similar to my elementary school. I begin running down long hallways at high speed. The feeling reminds me of playing Skyrim so I try to make magic appear in my hands. I hold them up like on the game and visualize. I see some faint glow in both hands, the left is orange like fire and the right is blue like ice. I don't feel like it's getting there fast enough so I hold them more to my side vision as I focus on running. I pass many open class rooms full of desks and shelves of stuff. I don't really see any people. Now, there is a definite energy ball forming in both hands. I begin to ready myself for some real magic but I suddenly wake up without warning.

      Updated 06-23-2013 at 04:14 PM by 5967 (Added image prisoner zero. Changed Title.)

      Categories
      lucid
    12. Paging Ms. Page

      by , 05-12-2013 at 10:20 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #180 - 7:07AM - DEILD/DILD - 3 of 3

      The alarm clock went off at 7am. I let my wife be the one to hit the snooze because I wanted to go for a DEILD. I was a little disappointed that I missed so many opportunities to become lucid after the first two LDs. I didn't move a muscle or open my eyes and focused on the back of my neck. I got weak vibrations right away. I continued a little longer hoping that they would get more intense like usual. Another bad idea.

      I found myself non lucid in a public restroom that looked a lot like a home bathroom. I take a leak in a normal toilet (not a urinal). A miniature version of Ms. Page (I'll leave the first name off to protect the innocent. ), an ex girl friend of mine that later became a good friend, is sitting on the back of the toilet with her boyfriend chatting away. I say something about privacy and go to a row of sinks to wash my hands. There is a soft soap pump bottle and when I squirt some out I knock over the bottle. The top was loose and liquid soap spills all over the counter. I notice several men on either side of me washing their hands. Embarrassed, I say out loud, "Ooops. Sorry, I'm still half asleep." I pause. Still... asleep. DING! The light comes on.

      I realize I am dreaming and for fun, look into the mirror. I smile real big at my self and make funny faces. I'm really excited that I am lucid and it shows on my blurry face in the mirror. I leave the bathroom with no real task in mind and go exploring.

      There's a slight memory gap but I was basically running around what looked like a shopping mall laughing manically and being overly hyper. I end up busting in some door that went into some office space in the back part of the mall. There are several women sitting at a conference desk. For some reason the song Hey Ladies by the Beastie Boys pops in my head. I confuse the lyrics a little and loudly sing, "HEY LADIES! WHERE'S ALL THE SINGLE LADIES IN THE HOUSE!?" My intentions were never sexual and judging by all the bored and disinterested stares that I got in reply, I think my subconscious knew it.
      I say, "What? Really? Nobody?"

      Then I remember that I saw Ms. Page in the bathroom and began to regret that we haven't talked in a long time in waking life. I see a corded phone on the conference desk and pick up the receiver to page her. At that moment I realize I have no idea how to page so I fake it. I dial 'star' 'eight', thought about it moment then, 'nine'. I hear a tone on the loud speaker and I speak, "Umm..." I hear my voice over the intercom and to my surprise it sounds very realistic. "(first name) Page please call.." Oh shit what extension? I look on the phone and see some random letters and numbers printed in white on black. I see '*16' and decide thats it. "... extension one six". I thought 'one six' was a little short so I add, "six six." Sure I'll add a few 6's. Why not?As soon as I hang the phone up it rings.
      I answer. "Hello?"
      I hear a very lively and smooth female voice reply, "Hey! What are you doing?
      "Oh", I said. I'm surprised at how much it really sounds like her. "I just wanted to see you. You know... nothing weird. Just wanted to chat and see how things were going. Can you come here?"
      She sounded happy about the idea. "Sure I'll see you in a minute." I hang up the phone and decide to walk out of the office into a more public area to keep things from getting awkward.

      I find myself in a busy food court and take a seat on a bench looking around for her face in a sea of strangers. I feel the dream getting distorted and hazy so I get up and pace around. I still feel really amped up and decided the pacing was a good idea. My legs feel tense and energetic and what I really want to do now is go for a run but I force myself to calm down and wait. I'm curious if she will actually show up.

      I come up behind one woman that I think might be her and quickly give her a friendly hug from behind but when she turns around it doesn't really look like her. I just go with it hoping she will change. I say, "Hi! It's good to see you again." The woman just glares at me. I notice now that she is a blond and my friend was never blond and now her face is all wrong. I say to her, "Oh sorry. I thought you were someone else."
      She hatefully and sarcastically replies, "Uh yeah.. You think?" and storms off.
      I shout after her, "WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?"

      I search around some more and spot Ms. Page sitting on the bench that I was just at. I walk over and sit next to her. She is holding a toddler and I remember that she was pregnant the last time I talked to her in walking life. I study her face for a moment to make sure. It looks just like her but her face is a little shifty. I shrug that off as normal.
      "Oh hi!" I said. "I forgot that you had another kid! What's her name?"
      She starts talking excitedly but now the dream is fading. I take her left and and hold it in both of mine. I don't care anymore what she is saying and I begin to softly stroke the back of her hand for stability. It's not working and I shush her so I can concentrate.
      Showing real concern she asks me, "What wrong?"
      I say, "Oh nothing really. It's just that I'm waking up now and I don't want to." The scene fades to black.

      I see another scene forming but force myself awake as I know my time must but almost up. The dream felt like it went on for a long time and I was afraid to forget.


      The alarm goes of for the second time once I start to DJ in my phone.
    13. I Have The Cleanest Floors

      by , 03-07-2013 at 04:47 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      I went to bed still sick last night about 9:30PM and slept like a corpse. Though I think I over my sickness, my mom is our babysitter and the evil sickness stuck her so I took another day off. The only recall I remember is when my son woke at 5:23AM. My wife has no choice but to go to work today so I did the honors. It actually turned out to be a pretty good WBTB for me. It took about 30min for him to take a bottle and go back to sleep. I spent a little time on the forum with my GP and then thought about my lucid goals. I went back to sleep with the MILD technique.


      First the non-lucid fragments

      5:23Am
      I am in a some public restroom. I think I am at work. I my buddy I work with C in there. For some reason I think it's the women's restroom. M the janitor comes in and fixes some spout under the sink. I fill my water bottle. There are now urinals in there. C goes pee. I see another spout at the doorway and shoot it to an empty urinal for fun.

      I am holding hands with D my daughter. We are sitting in a lush green grass spot. I feel like we are behind Ozark Christian College. I feel a little awkward holding her hand and wonder what that must look like and let go. I see a well traveled path in the grass that leads to a big boulder. I looks typical for this area. There are some nice ledges on the rock and it look like easy climbing. I point and we head that direction. D goes up first but suddenly there are thorny vines and she gets her legs tangled and falls. I catch her and pick out the thorns. I notice that some how I have a thorn in my left butt check and pull it out an look at it. I realize I am wear those white and gray polyester shorts I have.

      I Have The Cleanest Floors 6:45AM MILD

      I have a FA. I am lying in bed on my stomach. The room is brightly lit from the morning sun. I wonder why I am lying like this. I never sleep on my stomach. I feel fitful and uncomfortable. I notice also I am on the right side of the bed and not the left. I suspect I am dreaming now. I see some mirror to the right of the bed and decide that I want to see how I look. I move closer to look but I have no reflection.

      I decide to just get up. When I do everything goes dark and the dream starts to fade. Some what reluctantly, I go to the floor and start licking the hardwood. The room brightens and the dream stabilizes. I army crawl to the bedroom door and pull it open from underneath. I suddenly skip ahead to the next room.

      I try to stand up but the room goes dark and dream starts fading. I go back to licking the floor. The room brightens and the dream stabilizes. I think about making fire in my hands. I stop licking but stay on the floor. First I try making a motion like I am flicking a Bic. I expect to at least see a spark but nothing. Then I look at my right palm and focus energy there. I begin to see a tiny ball of light forming. Suddenly my hand splits into two hands with monster claws rather than fingers. That startles me some so I stop trying.

      I move on army crawling and licking the hardwood. I focus on the feeling on my bare stomach. I reach the kitchen but don't even know why I went that way. I decide to go out the front door so I turn around. I try standing up but again I am forced to lick and crawl.

      I decide this dream sucks so purposefully let my grasp of the dream slip. Just by my relaxing, I begin to see a new dream form. Abraham Lincoln is in my living room. There is a chalkboard and it looks like Abe is teaching a lesson to some robotic looking humanoid. I am not sure I didn't focus enough on it.


      Then the dream fades to a brief FA and I wake for real.I don't remember the FA now but it only lasted on a second or two.
    14. Monkeying Around

      by , 02-18-2013 at 01:31 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      WBTB 4:00-4:20A

      1MG Melatonin @ 4:00
      50MG Caffeine, 200MB B6 @4:20

      I tried staying up longer but was really tired

      Slept from 4:20-5:08 recalled no dreams. I remember a fragment about everyone getting lay off at work. It was very realistic as far as the dream scene went. And highly possible IRL.

      Went back to sleep easily until 6:00

      Monkeying Around DILD interrupted - Caffeine

      I am on some play ground. I see some huge swings but walk past to monkey bars. I feel like this is be super easy (lucidity starting). I grip the bars and notice how numb I feel. I go back and forth on them and smile at how effortless it is. Some dude walks up and says something about walking it upside down. I don't know what he is talking about so I just start doing so chin-ups. They are super easy and effortless. I get it now. I see the young man watching me. I say to him, "This is only this easy because this is a dream."

      My son starts crying and wakes us up. My wife takes care of it because she is super awesome.

      I go back to sleep. I am not 100% sure but I think I hit a semi successful DEILD. I remember some OBE like sensations but I quickly lost it to FA. I think because I really wasn't trying.

      I do a nose plug. Did is pass or fail? I can't remember. I enter my dreams on my DJ. Post on DV. Then realize it is time to leave the house and I am late. I go brush me teeth. My wife crowds me and I get pissed at her and tell her, "I love you but I really need some space right now." She wonders off.

      I begin to look at myself in the mirror and notice how odd I look. I think that I look almost childish and like someone else. I get and odd feeling and wonder if I am dreaming. I focus on the mirror and now I look normal. I continue to repeat this several times. Then the tooth brush start feeling like it it fusing to my teeth and I forget all bout the mirror. I soon wake up just before the alarm.

      Updated 02-18-2013 at 01:33 PM by 5967

      Categories
      lucid , false awakening
    15. FA's Brief Lucids and one Hellacious DEILD chain

      by , 01-27-2013 at 04:51 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      pre-bed 9:00PM
      2000MG Fish oil - (some posts suggest better dreaming)
      100MG 5-HTP
      Bed 10:00PM
      WBTB alarm 2:30AM but I woke naturally at 2:19AM
      2ish MG Galantamine (poured half capsule out on a dish and just licked it off. )
      250MG Choline
      600MG GPC
      0.5MG Melatonin

      INSOMNIA!

      +1MG Melatonin at 3:00AM
      +2MG Melatonin at 3:30AM

      Dosed off a bit brief DILD that I can't now remember. It was a crap dream anyway.
      Short WILD with vivid Rainbow colored static and geometric shapes. I haven't tripped that hard since High School!

      Finally fell asleep
      I woke up about 5:30AM from a NON-lucid. Something about me and another man playing with our sons. We have Lord of the Rings action figures and bicycles. Aragorn against a goblin, orcs, some shrimp like creature, and Uruk-hai. The funny thing is the action figures were actually talking to each other.

      #125 FA's Brief Lucids and one Hellacious DEILD chain

      I don't know how long this entire dream segment was. I feel it was probably around 30min. Maybe longer. I am not sure. There are a few memory gaps in the beginning but this is the best I remember.

      Ex in-laws
      I am staying at my ex in-law's house. My ex wife does not exist. My current wife and my ex's brother brother is there. There was some long dialog. Something about his birthday party. I sit and listen to the convo. I go into deep thought like I usually do. I feel dislike for this guy (I never liked him IRL). I think about why I am even here. I remember that I dream this a lot.

      I remember some SP but my focus was low


      Downtown event
      I have a FA. My wife and I are leaving the ex in-law's house. First we were driving now we are walking. My wife tells me that her "brother" R is going to give an anniversary surprise during his birthday party. I feel disgusted and want no part of it but say nothing.

      It is really early in the morning and still dark. It looks like we are downtown Webb City. There are a few curbside bistros open and large groups of people are flocking to them. Most of them are nicely dressed in evening dresses and suits. As we are walking through I comment on this to my wife but decide there must be some event going on and these are famous places to eat. Anthony Bourdain comes to mind.

      I sit in a folding chair next to some woman in a black evening dress. I look around and notice my wife went into a building. I just *know* that she had to use the restroom. This woman looks familiar to me but I don't know her. I felt an indescribably strong connection to her. Like a close friend or a family member. She is older with shoulder length gray hair. She is well kept and beautiful for her age. I get the feeling that she is ultra rich and well known. In spite of that, she is super friendly and down to earth. We have a really long conversation. I forgot almost all of it. I can only remember telling her that I was really confused. I told her that I had a brief lucid dream and I just woke up. I told her I wasn't sure what was going on. I felt really sleepy still. I don't remember her reply if any.

      I start missing my wife and look behind me. I see a bunch of folding chairs set out full of people and a woman at a podium. My wife is taking a seat in the middle. The woman at the podium says something about a church service. I feel annoyed. I just woke up. I am tired and I am in no mood to sit through some church service in the middle of the street. I march over to my wife. I sit beside my wife, put a hard hand on her shoulder and ruffly whisper in her ear, "What is this bullshit!?" The woman turns to look at me. It is some blond woman. She looks shocked an a little scared. I feel extremely embarrassed. "OH! Um sorry. I thought you were..."

      I run off to find my wife. The shock of this triggers lucidity. I remember that I took G and was trying to get lucid.

      I am in bed with vibrations.


      Memory gap

      I have another brief FA to lucid here but I can't remember enough to record anything.


      Blanket Attack

      I am back in bed with vibrations. This time I feel like a retard. I very quickly remember the dreams and how I was so close. Now I am more focused and determined.

      I transition out of bed but I am unstable. The blanket suck to my head and I can't see any more. I try to fight it but my hands can't feel anything. I give up and turn to leave blind. I am thrown back into SP.

      DEILD

      The Colosseum - Another failed attempt at TOTY

      I transition out again. This time it is better. But I am blind. I feel my way out of the bedroom. I try opening my eyes for a bit but I realize that I keep opening my real eyes. I see the dream and see the waking world. Finally I stop and focus seeing through my eye lids. Now I can dimly see. This time instead of heading to the front door I wonder what the back door will be like. My vision improves once I reach the back door and have a hand on the door knob. I try to visualize a Colosseum. I think of the line I used last time. I open the door but I see a moon lit back yard. I close the door and try again. Still the same. Not wanting to push my luck and wake up I walk out side. At this point part of me wonders If I am sleep walking. As a RC I try to float. I see me feet lift off the upper level of the back deck. Yep it's a dream. Now, I uncontrollably float over the rest of the deck and do a nose dive into the ground. I flip and roll end over end. Undaunted, I get up and brush myself off. (Brush myself off? lol) It is still really dark so I look up and ask the dream, "I need some light here" Oops I forgot to be polite. "Please." Nothing happens. "Can I please have some light?" I look around sort of wildly. I see a full moon and some stars. I try to focus on the moon but it is like looking through unfocused binoculars. It is really unstable and blurry. I look to the east and see the sun is just beginning to light up the sky.

      Encouraged, I decide to fly to Rome. I "feel" like Rome is to the east. My flying stinks but I remember a trick I learned from Robert W.'s book. I see the closest tall tree and focus on the tip. I go into warp speed. I see the small focused point of the tree but my peripheral vision is a blurry mess. I sort of lose vision for a sec but feel the tree branches smack into me. I blindly grasp and feel something small thorny branches. There is a dull pain but I don't dare let go. I see another tree in the distance. I repeat the exact same thing.

      Will.i.am is now 18!-tree.jpgWill.i.am is now 18!-mountain-warp.jpg

      I look farther out. I see a tree covered mountain range. The sun is rising behind it. The mountains look really far away. They are small and on the horizon. I pick a spot with trees and focus. I fly/teleport. Again, I grasp branches and hold on. I lose vision briefly again. I think that this has to be far enough.I let go and drop to the ground. I land hard.

      I pick myself up off the ground and notice the sky is dark again. I try to imagine the Colosseum again. A huge spot light comes on be. I begin to hear a roaring crowd chanting something. I think, This is it! I pretend I have a sword sheathed on my left side. With my right arm I make a drawing motion. I can hear it come out but I feel nothing. All I can see is my shadow on the ground in front of me. I am a bulky muscular man with a Gladius in my right hand. I am in a fighting stance and ready for battle. At that moment the dream collapses.


      Haunted?

      DEILD back into bed. This time I give the SP a little more time. I focus on the feeling and relax. I just wait and watch like I do when I have HI.

      I begin to see a bright blue blob of color. I focus on it. It looks like some sort of animation on a computer screne. I sit up and reach for it. It becomes a tablet in my left hand. I continue to watch the strange blob. I ask the the dream, "What is this?"
      I hear a reply in my mind, "EVIL..... THIS HOUSE IS HAUNTED."
      I become afraid. I shout. "YOU FAGGOT! SHUT-UP! NO IT'S NOT!" (faggot? really? Sorry folks, I never use that word IRL) Then I realize that I pretty much just called myself a faggot. I think about stupid it was. The dream collapses.


      The Creep In The Mirror

      I DEILD again and remain calm. I sit in SP again. I am beginning to realize that if I give SP some time and not rush things I will be able to see better. After some time I can see the room. I get out of bed. This time I try to focus on using the bathroom door to teleport to the Colosseum. It is the closest door. I remember the non-lucid awhile back that when I opened the door it led to a park outside. I try to visualize the outline of wall again. I open the door. Nope. Normal bathroom. I try again and the room is a black void. I feel encouraged and walk in. I imagine a Gladius in my hand and try my WILD tech in dream. I make a repetitive chopping action with the sword and wait for the Colosseum to form.

      Suddenly the lights come on. I am just in my bathroom. I can see the sun coming from the window. The light is bright and warm like noon in the summer. I decide to just play around now.

      I go to the sink and look in the mirror. I notice the medicine cabinet is all wrong. It has a sliding glass door rather than a hinged one. I look really creepy and distorted. My body is all jittery and wavy like I an underwater. I focus on my face. My eyes look bloodshot. My goatee is gone and I look like I am 16 again. I gasp and let out a laugh. When I do that there is this strange zooming focus effect in the mirror with the background behind me. I am taken aback. I focus again on my face. I am making crazy faces at myself. I am still wavy and jittery. My reflection give me a half smirk. It looks like someone is photo editing my mouth in real time with a smudge tool. I realize I am not smiling. Then I notice that I have a black, smoky aura around me. I gasp and again the strange zooming effect. It was almost like reality bent and flexed around me. I focus on my face once more and it looks sort of normal. I feel really creeped out and decide to move on.



      I think about going outside so I look out the window. I pull back the blinds but find that I can't see past the screen. Its just really bright light coming in. I decide to head to the front door.

      I walk through into my son's room. And become distracted. I see him asleep in the crib. I lean over him and say "BOOOO!" He makes a face and puts his hands to his mouth. He looks like he is about to cry. I feel really bad that I scared him. I try to comfort him and kiss is forehead. Then I wonder if I am really astral projecting and worry that I am waking him up. Then I get an idea.

      I rush back into my bed room to try and see myself. I go back through the bathroom. There is breif darkness. Then I an standing next to my bed in the dark. My wife wakes up and half-way sits up. I see my body lying in bed in my right side with my legs slightly bent. I notice that MY HEAD IS MISSING. I jump in the bed next to me. It feels like a plastic dummy. It has a shirt and shorts on. I reach into the neck of the shirt but it feels like smooth skin. I remember the headless boy dream the scene destabilizes.


      Concentration is Lost

      I begin to DEILD again. I feel the vibrations buzzing my body. This time I become distracted. I realize that have had a long dream. I feel like I am going to forget is all. I try to think back while keeping the SP going but this much thinking fully wakes me up.

      The time is exactly 7:00AM. I feel a little confused because the room is so dark still. I swear to myself that I am still dreaming but after several clock RCs and awareness checks I quickly realize I am not. It is just cloudy outside.

      Updated 03-30-2013 at 10:43 PM by 5967 (Details...)

      Categories
      lucid , false awakening , memorable , task of the year
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