Visions in the Dark

April 24th, 2014 - I dreams I was pregnant, but single and unemployed. I was almost at full term and lived with my family in a small sea side town. I did not want the baby but could not abort because everyone else in my family was excited about it. I could not even talk about not wanting the baby because it would have appalled everyone in the small town. I was expected to be a good little dutiful mother even though I did not know where the father was. (In the dream I literally could not remember who the father of my child was at all). The dream ended with me going to give birth soon and I was emotionless and still conflicted about wanting the baby, even dreading it's arrival, while everyone else around me rejoiced.

April 25th, 2014 - I was male and a vampire with medium length white hair and wearing a long black trench coat. I lived in a small Medieval village that was surrounded by a thick stone wall. Outside the wall was a dense, maze-like forest filled with many nasty creatures like other vampires, werewolves, and demons, as well as normal forest animals. The wall was there to keep the other bad creatures out so they did not attack humans but I was allowed to sit on the roof tops of the villager's houses at night and drive away any infernal creature that tried to attack the people. In the morning, before the sun rose, the people would leave me jars of pig's blood, on their doorsteps, as payment. I slept during the day in an old gated cemetery just outside the town wall, which the forest was slowly overtaking. There was something in the dream that magic was normal in this world but forbidden in town because the blood of magic users would be specifically targeted by vampires and demons seeking to feed off of "powerful" blood.

I am a young east Indian woman living in an impoverished area with near a beach. I live with my husband, his parents, and another woman whom I call Auntie. My mother-in-law (MIL) and Auntie dote on me because I have no family of my own and I am pregnant. My husband and my father-in-law (FIL) work long hours during the day and are not around very often. In many ways the family is very traditional, but in other ways surprisingly liberal, as they permitted the marriage to my husband even though I was already pregnant with someone else's child. MIL and Auntie are convinced the child will be a boy, FIL remains silent on the issue, and my husband (who is always very kind to me) thinks it will be a girl becuase everyone else thinks it will be a boy. I do not tell my family, but somehow I instinctively or psychically know what the gender of the child is, and it is a girl.

The dream jumps ahead a few months and I have given birth to a girl like I knew I would. Despite wanting a boy, MIL and Auntie are happy to have a new addition to the family. The dreams jumps ahead again (it does this frequently) to when I am pregnant with my second child. I psychically know the child will be a boy but say nothing to the family since I know they are all hoping for a boy anyway. About the time I give birth to my son, FIL retires and it is up to my husband to support all of us by himself. We care very much for each other but we rarely get to spend time along together because of family obligations or one or both of us being too exhausted.

The dreams jumps ahead again. My daughter is now five years old and my son is now two. I am pregnant yet again. I have grown very close to MIL and Auntie but their traditional superstitions have them believing that bad fortune will befall the family soon. Unlike the previous pregnancies I have trouble telling what gender this child will be. I think it is a boy, though every time I close my eyes, put my hands on my belly and concentrate, a horrible sense of coldness and dread overcome me, but not because I sence anything evil, more like I am being engulfed in a vast, endless dark void. I do not tell anyone of these feelings.

Bad fortune does seem to befall the family early in my pregnancy though, as my husband loses his job, Auntie turns to prostituion for money, MIL falls ill and FIL becomes very depressed. FIL will not eat and soon he falls sick and dies. We have very little money from Auntie's street walking to buy food, and thus definately cannot afford to pay for creamation or ceremonial rites, so we have no choice but to leave FIL's body rotting in the streets just outside of our dismal hovel. MIL is soon consumed by a similar dispair that took FIL and we all fear that she will die soon. One night Auntie goes out to work the streets and never returns and all we can do is assume the worst.

When I am eight months pregnant a tall skinny man arrives at the door of our meger lodgings and claims to be my brother (he does look like one of my bros in real life actually). He says that he is worried about me having so many children and thinks that I should stop. My husband and MIL throw him out and warn him never to come back. The next morning there is a basket of fresh white lotus flowers outside of our door, which I am able to sell to street vendors and pedestrians for a few coins each because they are considered good luck by many people. MIL wants me to keep one for myself but I ignore her and sell the last one because I want to be able to afford to feed my newborn when it comes along. Almost immediately a terrible pain erupts in my abdomen and blood starts gushing from my vagina. I somehow make my way home, but it is too late - I have miscarried what would have been my second son. MIL and my husband are very sad and they shun me for awhile, which makes my grief over losing my third child even worse.

The dreams jumps ahead again and our family is experiencing more favourable times. I am close to MIL again, who is no longer sick or depressed, my husband is employed again, our surviving children are healthy and being educated, and I am pregnant again. This one is going to be a girl and I tell my MIL that I am able to predict the gender of the child, but didn't say anything before out of fear of being accused of insanity or witchcraft and being thrown out of the house. To my surprise MIL is very happy at my psychic ability and tries to convince me to use my powers to make money. I refuse because I fear that if I reveal to some expecting couples that they will have a girl rather than a boy, they will then voluntarily abort the female fetus or abandon the baby girl upon birth (which is a very real problem in India actually).


The dream ends there.

I believe this may be a past life dream.

Most of the general items and fashions in this dream appear to be from the mid to late 1800s, though most of the transportation machines that appear look like they came from the 1930s-40s.


I am a Gypsy and travelling but do not know my destination. I appear to be in my late teens and have nothing with me except for the ragged brown dress and light blue handknit sweater I am wearing. My meager worldy possessions are in a faded green corderoy bag. I am alone and very pregnant. I do not know where the father is as he is never mentioned in the dream. I feel mistrustful of most of the people that appear in this dream, as well as unfairly judged by them because of my youth and pregnancy.

At the beginning of this dream I am sitting in a glass bus terminal on a deserted road in the middle of nowhere. It is night time and raining hard. The only nearby lighting is old fashioned oil burning street lamp which really does not supply a lot of light. Beyond the immaediate area around the lamp and a little bit inside the terminal everything is utterly, pitch black. I can see faint yellow and red lights flickering in the distance, but I have no idea what they are. I am waiting for a bus that will take me to a nearby port. There lies a ship that I know I am supposed to board but I do not know how because I have neither money nor a ticket.

After a while of sitting a bus does come along and it appears that it came from the 1950s or early 60s. There are several unsavory looking men taking up most of the seats at the front of the bus so I head to the empty seats at the back. They all stop talking and leer at me as I walk by which makes me feel nervous and fearful. The bus is well lit and clean and I stare out the window as it travels, though I can still see nothing through the darkness outside. I am uncomfortably aware of the men at the front talking quietly amongst themselves then shooting leering glances in my direction and laughing coarsely.

The bus arrives at the port and all of the passengers disembark. It then turns around and drives back the way it came, eventually disappearing into the darkness. The lighting of the port is dim but much better than at the bus stop. The only ship in the port is docked beside the only building, which is multistoried, made of concrete and painted white. I am not sure exactly where to go so I cautiously follow the group of men who also disembarked from the bus, but they do not head towards the ship like I hope and instead go to a pickup truck parked on the far side of port and drive off.

There is a large group of people outside a set of glass doors and they appear to also be Gypsies seeking passage on the ship. A man with a goatee and dressed in a black navy uniform stands between the people and the door and is telling everyone that they cannot board the ship. Many of the Gypsies hand the man wads of cash or jewelry and he quickly waves them inside. It is not long before most of the people are inside and the few who were rejected linger around the port. The rain no longer pours and slows down to a gentle trickle. An elderly Gypsy couple arrive late and convince the man at the door to let me in along with them. He accepts only when they produce an acceptable bribe.

Once on the ship we join with the rest of the Gypsies and are told that there is no rooms available and the only space available is on the floor in secluded halls and storage rooms or out on the deck. Everyone scrambles to find space inside and the few unlucky ones who have to go out onto the deck try to find spots out of the wind and rain. Because we are the last ones to board, the elderly couple and I try to make ourselves comfortable undernearth a lifeboat, but it is hard to crawl under for them because of their age, and for me becuase of my bulging belly.

I do not know how much time passes, but the ship is far out at sea and though it is still dark, the ambient lighting of the scene allows me to see practically everything. The rain has stopped but the temperature drops drastically, almost to the point where I can see my breath. I am laying on the open deck looking up at the sky. It is overcast with thick, dark grey and maroon coloured clouds. I stand up and look over the rail. The water is choppy and dark, and I can see icebergs in the distance all around the ship. An old man who looks like the captain of the Titanic (as portrayed by Bernard Hill in James Cameron's film) dressed in a white and blue navy uniform comes out and asks me if I would like to sleep inside. When I say yes he takes me to a room with eight cots in it. The small beds look like hospital gurneys and have lime green burlap blankets on them. The room is devoid of people but seven of the beds look like they have been slept in and have bags and coats thrown around nearby I recognize the possessions as Gypsy in origin. There is one bed left and it is in the far corner of the room against the wall. I lay down upon it, using my corderoy bag as a pillow, and fall asleep almost immediately.

I have a dream within a dream.

I am sitting on a bench outside of the white building back at the port when an old fashioned pickup truck drives up and stops in front of me. The leering men on the bus are in the truck and they try to convince me to get in with them. I say no and try to ignore them, but two jump out of the back of the truck and grab me by the arms and try to force me into the vehicle. I kick and scream and out of nowhere a police officer with short black hair and dressed in a modern uniform appears and tells the men to let me go. He then warns them to leave and not come back. The leering men get back into their truck and mumble angrily as they drive off. The police officer encourages me to keep going on my journey before disappearing as mysteriously as he appeared.

I wake up to a room filled with people. The other Gypsies have returned and most of them are not happy to see me as they paid heavily in bribes to get into that room and I was given a bed for free. Some of them also vocalize their disapproval of the shame of me being a single unwed mother, especially one travelling alone, but they speak to each other and not address me directly. I ignore their jeers and go out to visit the kind elderly couple on the deck, but they are nowhere to be found. It is still dark and icebergs still surround the ship but there are more of them and they are much closer. The ship seems to be heading for a large featureless landscape in the distance that looks like either a beach with cliffs or a glacier.

The dream starts off with me nine months pregnant with twins. I am lost and I have nothing to my name, and I wander aimlessly down a long stretch of road in the middle of nowhere. I walk for hours until I come across a little farm that seems vaguely farmiliar. I do not see any hydro lines or cars and it is soon aparent why: I am on a Mennonite farm. The Mennonite couple who answer the door are the same ones whom I remember from my youth: they owned a small store that they ran out of their house, close the the trailer park my parents and I went to every weekend in the summer. I have forgotten their names now though.

When the couple saw the state I was in, the husband rushed to hitch up the horses to the carriage and they took me to the nearest hospital, which was in a small town a few miles away. The showed great concern for me and even waited with me until I had been admitted. The Mennonite couple said they would come back the next day to check on me before they left. The hospital was a huge 5 story building that towered over everything else in the tiny town. It was strangley disproportioned compared to the area it was in, like it would be a hospital found in a busling metropolis, not a sleepy, country town. Despite its size, the hospital was unusually quiet and there seemed to be no one around.

A male nurse in green scrubs greeted the Mennonite couple plesantly but barely looked at me while he filled in the admission forms. The nurse still wouldn't look at me when he brought a gurney in for me to lay on and show the Mennonite couple out. As soon as the couple was gone the male nurse strode right past me and did not even acknowledge my presence from that point on. I was wisked away to another part of the hospital.

The female nurse pushing my gurney parked it in a hall outside of some rooms that had no one in them and I asked why I could not go into one of those rooms, but she ignored me. I was left alone in the hall and even though I could see all of the normal equipment that are in hospital halls, there was absolutely no one around. No nurses, no patients, no custodial staff: no one.

I layed on my gurney until I became restless and cold and got up to try and find someone. Just then three male doctors walked through some double doors at the end of the hall and came up to me. The one in the middle had a file that they were all looking at and discussing. I tried to get their attention, and though two of them glared at me for a second, none responded to my questions. When the three doctors were done reading the file, they finally addressed me, but said that, despite my condition, they had no rooms available for me and said that I would have to sleep outside in the grass.

I kind of stared at them dumbfounded and demanded to know why I had been admitted as a patient if they was no room - which I knew was a lie because all around me I could see rooms for patients that were completely empty, though ready for use. One of the doctors shook his head and said: "We have room for patients, just no room for you."

I broke down into bewildered tears as I was pushed to a pile of straw in a grassy spot by the hospital's main entrance and asked to get off the gurney. The female nurse threw a thin blanket over the straw and then turned around and went back into the hospital. I couldn't believe what was going on but I laid down on the pile of straw because I was exhausted and defeated. I could feel my babies kicking from the inside, as if they knew something was deeply wrong as well. I remember wishing that I was dead as night came, because it was so cold and the thin blanket did nothing to keep me warm. Only once or twice did a nurse come out to check on me, or offer me a sip of cold water.

When the sun began to rise it woke me up because it was right in my eyes. It was a bit foggy and everything was covered in a light frost. I was shivering violently and my lips were blue but I was much too weak to move and seriously thought I was going to die there. I suddenly felt some warm hands lift me up and I was tightly wrapped in a heavy blanket that smelled like barnyard animals. I opened my eyes and saw the Mennonite couple, who demanded to know right away why I was not in the hospital.

When they heard of my horrible treatment at the hospital, the Mennonite couple take me in their carriage back to the farm, insisting that I can give birth in the comfort of their home. I don't rememeber much else from the dream though I do know that I woke up before giving birth.