NyxCC

19 Jan

As me and this guy are leaving, he constantly worries about there being sharks in the ocean. I try to calm him down, looking for logical explanation why there may not be as many sharks as he expects. We have to slide down a platform to exit the building, however, it is covered with blood and also quite slippery. I take forever to get down without falling.

We are close to the exit, ocean shore nearby, as I can see that the sharks we were trying to avoid are actually dragons. I quite clearly see a number of dragons in the surrounding wood areas and know we have to stay as far away as possible. We choose a rather painful way to do so, hiding and moving in a part of the shelf which stretches to accommodate us. I inspect the shore for dragons but see special trees (3 of them) instead (with faces and talking, like in lord of the rings). I carefully approach one, expressing my admiration, he speaks and says he likes me too. I ask for guidance for our group and he recommends us to go speak to Captain Morgan, who is a nearby pirate woman . I try to catch her attention and ask her to help us on our mission, though I am not so sure what we were supposed to accomplish.

No supps

DILD: The (forgotten) storyline continues and I plan to be back to this? place and hire a floating bed to do so. It's a beach environment though it later flows into a more canyon like place. I look at the guy to let him know I'm taking one of his beds also expecting to pay but he ignores me, decide for a really small one and then start to maneuver in the water. The place changes a bit, but I kind of assume to have just passed the desired location while I keep trying to navigate on the mini wooden bed as large waves hit me and take me deeper into the sea. I manage to move more towards the coast where it changes to a canyon like place. The colors are really bright and pleasant during the entire time and now it's like a canyon during an autumn afternoon.

My awareness goes up and I recall the bonus task: create a new song on an instrument that doesn't exist in waking life. I have some doubts about how exactly am about to proceed as I haven't really considered this during the day. At this moment two butterflies appear in front of me and I briefly fix them one next to each other thinking this will make for a perfect instrument. Now the only thing that's left is for me to start playing. After moving the glued double butterfly instrument around a bit (I think at this point it started making the drumming sound), I take the two butterflies apart and holding one in each hand, I start producing the song by methodically tapping with them the corners of an invisible frame. This results in perfect drumming sounds. I repeat this movement until the beat and melody is solidified in my mind and then allow for further beat variation. Happy to have completed the task I briefly think about the experience.

This seemed like the end of a long REM with nlds before that and at this point the dream dissolves, but I manage to switch to a different scene or deild?

It looks like I'm in a nicely furnished house located somewhere in the woods . I find myself in the kitchen and at that moment feel how the dream is slipping away. Can't quite come up with what to do here to be more active and engaged but I have the feeling and strong urge to throw a small nearby bottle against the wall. The (tabasco like) bottle breaks in pieces as it hits the wall and this weirdly enough provides me with a sense of stability. I turn around and see a larger jar of what looks like passata and casually drop it to the floor to watch how the glass breaks and the passata starts leaking out. I'm amazed with the accuracy of physics as this happens.

Nearby are a number of beautiful wooden drawers and I have a quick look to find some jewelry inside. It's pretty awesome but for some reason doesn't capture more interest from my side, so I close the drawer, looking around for something else. I go towards a darker corridor which coincides with another feel of the dream thinning. I decide not to go as far but stop midway in front of a beautiful wooden wardrobe.

This reminds me of another exploratory task and I decide to check what's inside. There are lots of clothes that give me the initial impression they belong to my mom. I browse through the clothes hoping to find something cool, but the one-many effects gets on them. Basically, most clothes start having the same blue purple colors and I am displeased at this lack of variety. I decide to give it another try by allowing the clothes to change when I close the wardrobe. I wait for a bit, trying not to think of the previous look of the clothes (which I do, but wait a bit more) and then open the wardrobe again. The result is a different set of clothes. There is a really cute pink shirt that seems my size. Though my intention was to simply browse through the clothes and see what my mind comes up with, I now have the desire to try this shirt and see how I look.

In the meantime, my thoughts about the clothes belonging to mom seem to have summoned her and now her DC is here making comments about the clothes. I can't quite recall our exact words, but I decide to play along telling her some confirmation about what she was asking about and find this utterly funny as I know it's just a dream and my comment is completely false. I continue with my dressing but first I have to undress. There is a mirror just to the side of the wardrobe where I see that I am wearing pink trousers that would nicely fit the highly desired dream shirt. And funnily, I don't realize as I am undressing myself that I am actually already wearing a pink shirt! The shirt gets stuck on my wrist where it's a bit tight and the dream soon ends.

Date: 17th Aug

Pre bed: SJW, 100 mg B6

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Dream quality and recall: vivid, some stability issues, evading recall

Non-ld: I am in the place I used to live before. There are problems with the lock and I am trying to avoid my new neighbors. Once again, I am staying here only temporary and prepare my stuff to leave the next day...

WBTB:I got woken up, decided to use as WBTB, repeated mantra a few times, distractions again.

LD1: I finally fall asleep and find myself on the street of the same town from my past, near the post office. There is also a bear there. A bear? Lucid. I don't pay any more attention to the bear but on its place two large dogs appear, behaving menacingly. I just want to go forward and stretch my hands, as if feeling the dream/wind or whatever but the dogs bite my hand. The biting causes a strange sensation of burning pain, I struggle to get rid of the dogs. As they won't go away, I decide to ask the rest of the DCs for help. There are lots of DCs passing by on the nearby street and I start calling for help, but nobody pays me any attention. However, the moment I start asking for help those dogs get out of my sight and disappear. I look at the DCs which are like a school of fish, silently passing by, many of them having dogs on leashes, small to big ones different breeds. It looks absolutely insane.

I have no idea what happened, but now I am in a dark room, no sign of DCs or dogs. I finally remember that one way to deal with scary creatures is to transform into something scarier or at least powerful, so I decide I would do the tiger transformation. I get on the floor and first of all hear coming from me a slightly muffled but tiger's roar which I actually didn't mean to do. Then I try to feel my legs, but I kind of concentrate on my human body too much, so the transformation is only half done. I can't see much of my limbs to confirm if they are human or animal ones, just feel that I am stuck in the middle of the process and want to look in some reflective surface to check what's going on. My mood goes quite bad as I get bored doing this and wonder what to do next but the dream ends.

Micro-ld: I am on a ferry type of boat, on the upper deck that is open. It also reminds me of all these city boat tours they offer at various places I have been to with my mom. My mom is also there telling me to be careful, so I hold on to the rail. It is quite cold so I get out my blanket. I notice that the sky is covered with dark clouds which are much closer to the boat than they are supposed to be. I hold on even tighter and then see that a tornado has formed in the distance. I get a very convincing false memory that I recently had a dream about this? and now am seeing it irl. There's something about this whole thing and the tornado so I become lucid. In the meantime the driver of the boat moves us closer to the river bank and allows the passengers to disembark safely. I look at the tornado with interest and decide I will try to avoid it by going to the subway station where it has no reach. (I'd say my mind was kind of foggy for ld). I immediately reach a subway passage but before I get in, I have another look at the tornado. It is huge and partially turns into some sort of drilling machine as I stare at it. It also comes closer. I decide it's time to quit playing and go underground and figure out what to do from there.

I have no idea or rather memory what happened, it seems like the dream ended, I briefly lost consciousness then on to the next dream.

LD2: I am in the yard of our old neighborhood and bf is making some kind of sex-related remarks. I ignore him and bf just leads the way towards the street. I notice that both of us are barefoot and concentrate on the feeling, while getting a mix of false and true memories.

At this point I become lucid and we continue towards the fence. As I get there, I see some animals again. A medium size dog that is coming towards me and also a cat, then two more cats appear. I get the feeling that all these animals are attracted to/by me and think that this is becoming very similar to OB's issue with the blankets. I try to make make them go away, making funny movements with my hands. Then I succeed in turning them against each other. This is a very entertaining sight although I do feel slightly guilty doing this, now the cat has turned into a kitten and is wrestling the dog. They are more in some sort of confrontation than real fight but I am amazed that I am actually controlling their movements. After my sense of wonder/amusement subsides, I leave them and move on down the street, bf with me.

I go over some tasks but am reluctant to engage in something that will destabilize the dream too much. However, the moment I think about Angel Falls, I notice the sound of running/falling water from a nearby yard. In my mind, I know that's something else, but I think it can be used to summon Angel Falls. So what I do is I turn my back on the yard and the sound, concentrate on it and start walking backwards towards it, expecting AF to be there. Bf is holding my hands as I am walking backwards and the dream turns void-like, mostly I see darkness behind me as I walk. I am slightly worried that I might stumble upon some unexpected object but then remind myself that there is really nothing there.

I slowly turn and check the result. This is not our neighborhood anymore, but it is still the yard of some people and there are lots of watery things there. Hard to describe, two fountains/geysers, puddles of water, also water randomly springing and running over the place. The yard abruptly ends and I see small amounts of water running down the stone edge, which gives me some hope. As I look down I see that the next level is about two floors below and there is an inland beach. I also check out the surroundings and see that beyond that inland beach is a valley with trees and the sea at the end of it.

I feel that I won't have the time to go to the sea and chose to use the inland beach for the advanced TOTM. There also small kids there, something like sand and rocks near the water. It is quite high and as I finally gather the courage and prepare to jump in the water, the dream ends.

Date: 6th Aug

Pre bed: gingko, 1 capsule p. oil (200mg)

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Natural wakes: 2?, I was way too sleepy to do a proper WBTB and actually attempted to convince myself to forget about lucidity and just sleep.

Dream quality and recall: due to my extra sleepiness, I didn't care too much about recalling, and I'd say recall for the ld was more challenging as it was quite long and also interrupted two times.

Dream length: It felt very long and at the end of the dream I started forgetting some details.

Pre ld dream: I am in grandma and auntie's place with 3 friends and we are preparing to go to grandma and auntie's? I am very slow packing, as I can't find my hair brush. There are lots of hair brushes around the place but none of them is mine. I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror, I have just dyed my hair but don't like the hairstyle. I focus on my teeth. One tooth looks very wrong and not like a tooth at all. I get some pasta/tortellini out of my mouth and into the sink, turn the water on and hope it disappears before my friends come to check on me.

DILD: The earliest event that I remember is that we, maybe 3 of us, are being chased by these guys riding horses. Therefore, we have to flee. The narrator of the dream (or my mind) says something about one of them having to cross a bridge. While this happens, I cross the bridge. Interestingly, it is more like a street covered in water going to yard-like greenery.

So, I cross this watery bridge and end up in a section with water and lots of green grass and trees all around me. The problem is there is something that is preventing you from normally moving there, there are desert type of mice, very small but dangerous. I think this is where I become lucid, but since I am very sleepy, my thinking is not at its best, so I go along with the dream. The mice look cute, but keep on biting me and I have nowhere to go. As I stand there, slightly desperate that I am stuck in this place, I remember that I can modify the dream and escape the water/bitting mice trap. I simply turn to my other side and see where I can go.

There are strange ropes arranged into I have no idea what. Other DCs are using them to get out of there and safely cross (possibly over the water). The ropes look too thin to be able to carry our weight (yes, my brain is very asleep), but I still go balancing on these strange ropes, and also there are wooden beams below them on which we walk while holding to the ropes. As I do that, I notice small insects on the beams below, but they are mostly ladybugs and other harmless ones.

My memory is really bad, I know there were two blackouts, but I can't remember at what point the one occurred.

I am in the middle of the hill with the greenery and my initial goal is to move away from the biting mice, but then I just want to go down the hill. The sight gets more beautiful as I see a fantastic beach with clear green water at the end.

If I am not mistaken, I try flying to speed things up, but after ascending a bit, I quickly land in some sporadic water that appears along the way. As I do so, my body submerges in the water, I try swimming but have a void-like moment and as I emerge above the water my sight disappears. No! It's totally black around me, but maybe because it was so unexpected I can still feel the dream around me. I think that I am blind like Xanous, and remember to just relax and wait. I hear a woman talking next to me, so I concentrate on her voice and hold on to it. I may have said something to her as well. Soon the dream comes back and my sight returns, things are back to normal.

I am now inside a small house on the same hill and this DC woman is with me. I look around but the only thing I remember is some sort of pillow with the name of bf's high school on it. Then I examine the DC woman, maybe in her late forties or early fifties, with short ginger hair and brown eyes. I say something to her and look her in the eyes, expecting an answer. As I do that, she freezes in place, and her eyes are like those of a scared pray animal. I think that I don't want to cause any more distress so I let go of her and just leave her be. She then animates again and with expectations I make her laugh, so she laughs. All good. If she wants she can come with me down the hill. But I am so concentrated on the landscape, I forget about her.

I see brief glimpses of the beach, and then more trees and greenery, but at least I know it's there and am very close now. I continue my way down the hill and reach a part where it is very high, but I am almost there as I see the shifting beach/houses/yards. Here a habit from my non-lds comes in very handy. I see lots of trees in front of me, so I just hold on to a branch, and move forward with it. My desire to reach my destination makes those branches swing way beyond what they are supposed to and there is always another branch waiting for me to get on to. Swinging from one branch to another, some of which extremely fragile and with flowers on them, I make it down to the beach.

Somewhere along the way, I remember the advanced TOTM which I didn't plan of doing, but may as well try. I briefly think that this dream has been going on for quite a while and I am already starting to forget it. I look to the beach in front of me, but now instead of the yellow sand and light green water, the sand is grey and the water is dark. I try to change the color of the sand, but it remains grey. I notice how violently the waves crash and the water moves. Never seen anything like this and I have no intention of going in and trying to turn into a shark under these conditions. So, I decide to wait until things improve, and find a spot on the beach where by the way the sand is turning more yellowish. I lie on the sand and think about how I am going to turn into a shark and then maybe go in the water. I try to feel my fins and my shark body (kind of big and bloated) but the dream ends.

Comment: Now that I think about it, the location was also very good for Angel Falls or China...

Total sleep time: 7.5 hrs

Dream quality and recall: dreams were vivid, but I was too alert. The situation was made worse by neighbors and other sounds from nearby individuals. I was looking forward to some nice sleep but got interrupted many times, ruining chances of proper ld and fragmenting recall.

Pre bed: Q10, fish oil

WBTB: lecithin

Fragment1: once again, I recall that I was lucid, but it was in my first REMs, so I just remember many people, and perhaps looking at them made me lucid. This is so annoying.

Dream2: At grandma's place, in one of the drawers I find a small golden box with Chinese letters on it. I open it and there are some buddhist things that change to earrings and then an ancient necklace. The necklace reminds me of those worn by Amazon tribes. I myself am not dressed at least above the waist and my hair is like that of a member of that tribe, cut short and colored brown reddish, very thick. I put on that necklace and comment on how well it goes with my hairstyle and lack of clothes.

Fragment3: I am in the supermarket with dad. There are two sections where the veggies are, that we have bought from another place, so I wonder, how we are going to go pass the cashier and explain they belong to us and we don't need to pay for them. Our veggies look a bit strange, but I explain to myself that it is because they are Chinese? There are also some cute cactuses, I cannot eat those...

Fragment4: I am watching a black and white music video where two girls are flirting with each other. They are actually underwater, and I wonder how are they able to sing. As I wake up, I still hear the music from the video in my head.

WBTB: took lecithin, remembered to RC, which is good! I was a bit sleepy, only 4 mins out of bed, so when I returned I did some serious mantra repetition, which unfortunately woke me up too much. I tried cycling, but only did one cycle, because I was getting nervous. It took me about half an hour to fall asleep.

Fragment5: I am in my grandma's place again, I am supposed to be some kind of receptionist

Fragment6: FA, I wake up in our bed, and things start to get sexy with bf

Fragment7: FA, I want to induce a lucid, so I take another tablet of fish oil

Fragment8: bf's mom has made an amazing fruit cake, with whatever leftovers she found. I comment it must have taken her at least four hours to prepare it. It is delicious.

Dream9: I am observing some kind of glass wall that is supposed to protect the beach from huge waves. I am staring the ocean in front of me, and see large waves rising, up to the moment they get huge. I climb a hill to get away from the high water. I then enter something that looks like our old place and begin packing my things, putting everything in a suitcase, to protect it from the water.

Fragment10: In a room, there are lots of umbrellas and I am trying to identify which one is mine

Note to self: I really have to remember to RC when waking up, I seem to be getting more FAs recently.

Date: 25 May

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Fragment1: I am putting on make up, an eye liner that looks really good

Fragment2: someplace with my relatives

Fragment3: with friends, and there is dust on my sunglasses

Fragment4: on the beach, a friend that I don't like, and two other girls posing for photos

Fragment5: I see another friend that I don't like, I try to avoid her but my other friend goes and talks to her, so she sees me as well.

Prebed: 1 1/2 glass of soy milk

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Recall method: none, woke up briefly after each dream but was so sleepy, I didn't bother to write anything. Did not attempt WBTB either. Everything is so fragmented now, good thing I still remember although with much less detail the short DILD I had.

Dream1: We are back to high school and as usual we have to do an extra year. Everybody should be in class soon, I wonder again how are we going to do that. I am waiting for a friend of mine to show up as usual, I don't think he did.

Fragment2: One of my classmates, her features are a bit strange and now she also has a sister that looks very similar to her. (She actually has a brother)

Fragment3: On the beach, I am watching the waves. I think somebody, it kind of looked like a documentary and I was part of it, said that here the waves are just the right size to swim and maybe surf?

Dream4 mini-DILD: The background is grey and a number of DCs that look like zombies are walking towards me. I become lucid. I remember my recent resolution to freestyle during the next lucids and see what I can make out of the situation. I decide that I will use this one to train my reactions. Ok, so they are walking towards me, I don't care at all. I am just consciousness, no material substance, they can't hurt me. They are still advancing, and one comes so close that it actually touches my hand. I feel and see my hand and this destroys my concept of non-materiality. I brace myself for the impact. The dream slowly fades and I wake up.

Note to self: Maybe I should spend less time thinking and more time acting in LDs?

Fragment5: I go to the kitchen to look for the bottle of water I bought for myself irl and find that one of our guests has opened it and now holds it in her hand. It is too late to say anything, I just wish this hasn't happened.

--------------------------------

April Review

Number of ld nights: 9 (3 with double lds)

Number of lds: 12 (2 WILD, 2 DEILD, 8 DILD)

Quality: Good, with few exceptions, a few fade away issues and changing the scene is still a challenge

Recall: I am getting used to having a roller-coaster type of recall. I am not sure if I should place additional demands on that at the moment.

Things to work on:

- I think I might go for some flexibility on task completion and work more on stability. (But who knows in what kind of mood I will be?)

- I also want to go back to a more decent WBTB schedule after meeting all kinds of relatives and friends is over.

- There are other issues (like changing the scene) to work on but will see how it all goes and deal with them accordingly.

I got more than I expected in April, so I won't be expecting more than I can get in May. Just keep dreaming...

Total Sleep time: 8+hrs

Dream recall method: Dr1- noted sentences; Dr2-Dr7 – none

Other: I was feeling very sleepy and tired; there are some gaps in my memory, some fragments re-emerged later.

After HI and falling asleep: I noticed something after briefly waking in the first hours of sleep; now all I am left with is the vague memory; was it dream talking again?

Dream1: We are waiting for the tram, most of my DC friends are dressed officially, but I wear some casual clothes. I am slightly worried about that, but they say “I wish I had your attitude towards life”, “Yeah, but sometimes I feel afraid from all those things I know”, I reply. [I wish I knew what I know, but perhaps it’s better I don’t]

Fragment2: I see the beach, initially I want to go for a swim, but the waves are quite big so I decide against it. My mom is also there.

Fragment3: Looking for a place to hide from two DC women. This is some kind of back stage for something like a theatre, I hope they won’t be looking for me there.

Fragment4: Some posts on DV.

Fragment5: We ran out of toilet paper.



I try WBTB. This time I tell myself, I would be less sleepy and more concentrated. I spend some time in bed awake, concentrating on my body and some sounds from the neighbors, then I quickly transition into the dream.

Dream6[Low Quality Lucid]: I find myself in a familiar room, something like my boyfriend is also there. I know that I am dreaming and I do not bother to RC. I am absolutely passive, just being in the room, I feel as if I am drunk, so heavy. I am sitting on a chair doing absolutely nothing, noticing my behaviour and somewhat annoyed of this but also so tired. This DC is sitting next to me. I take some time to examine him, he looks a lot like my boyfriend, yet I know that’s not him. I find him rather unpleasant. Everything is so stable, and I feel as if I have been sitting there forever, exchanging some random thoughts with this fake bf. I tell him that this is a dream, and he repeats a few times “lucid dreaming”, that’s the only thing that amuses me. I don’t like being there at all…

Dream7, DEILD: I awake for a short while, rather unconscious, open my eyes, rollover and then I enter the dream again. I am thinking “Oh, I DEILDed”, but I really did not mean to do that. I find it strange that I am still there. I feel so tired. I finally remember that what I want to do is change the scene, just imagine a scene, I remind myself. Nope, does not work. Then I see some kind of a poster with some beach and palms and try to concentrate on it… The dream does not fade...memory gap, I think I fall into unconsciousness again...



Dream8: I am with my parents, in some a tourist village near the sea. I want to buy something, so we are looking for the right store. Then I check what money I have with me, I have stamps, which are some kind of certificate serving as money? By the time we get to the store, all the shops are closed. I don’t care that much, but my parents are disappointed that I couldn’t buy anything.