NyxCC

06 Aug

Had an end of the dream back to school dild. We are in school, down the corridors and there is music playing already. I realize this is a dream and remember the music related task of the month. I concentrate on the music, which seems to be coming from everywhere and enjoy it together with the other DCs. The song sounds really familiar at the time, a famous pop song and we all sing the lyrics out loud. I remember having another forgotten ld earlier in the night that involved music too. My body moves by itself and I wake up.

12 Aug

In a room, I look to the sky and remember I can do anything. I initially think of summoning something but then remember the musical task. I decide to pretend that I am playing piano, press my fingers on the desk nearby trying to feel the keys. The keys half materialize and I start to hear a piano melody playing from all around me. The music is really deep and then the piano sound transforms into a church organ with a tune that is fitting the style. It strongly echoes all around. I listen to it some more until the dream fades.

Date: 20th July

Pre bed: 200mg valerian, 100mg B6

Dream quality and recall: Dreams were quite vivid today. Generally, I wasn't feeling very comfortable in bed and had lots of these drink then pee moments. Took short key notes with regards to non-lds. Daringly reviewed the ld in my head then went back for more but fell into normal sleep and woke up shortly after.

Summary

Dr1: In a place I used to live, a crow flies in. I use a pc/tablet to chat with other people about it.

Dr2: I am in an SUV and have to deal with some bad guys outside. After I do, extra stars are added to my profile. Martin Freeman (the Hobbit) is sitting to my right and thinks I don't deserve all the stars.

Dr3: Back to school. As I enter the classroom everybody is preparing for a 7 page History + Grammar test. I am very pissed off at my friend for not telling me about the test. She replies that I still have time to prepare by learning all the answers in the break just before the test. I cannot possibly do that.

DILD: As I made the mistake of not taking notes and then going back to bed after the ld, the beginning of this dream is gone from memory. All I remember is that there was something going on in the building and I am talking to someone I know, possibly another classmate by the feel of it. After the conversation in this very large building with open spaces, like a mall, I suddenly become lucid for no apparent reason. I can't contain my excitement, so start running around like crazy. It feels really good until I sense slight destabilization staring to take hold. That sobers me up and I think it is time to do tasks. My mind feels a bit foggy but I nevertheless recall one that I can execute here - punch a President.

There are lots of DCs passing by and my first idea is to get Mr. Sarkozy to emerge from the crowd, so I quickly scan the DCs in front of me and expect him to appear. He doesn't, so I grab a random male DC and decide that I will turn him into Sarkozy. As soon as I concentrate on his face, his features begin to shift right in front of my eyes, which is extremely cool! His nose changes shape several times, until it is a close match to Sarkozy's nose. I also succeed with the ears. The DC reminds me of Sarkozy, but the eyes are not quite the same. I would say he is a 70 percent match. I punch him in the face and the moment I do, his features change again. Slightly annoyed that I cannot properly punch and maintain the view of the right person I punch him again and again, while trying to change his features back to those of Sarkozy. As I don't project too much feeling, this DC simply stays there, staring at me, some distress in his eyes. Interestingly, after punching him, I begin to feel strong pain in the area of my nose, as if I am the one that got punched. Not fully satisfied, I want to turn him into another politician, but before I can transform him the dream slips away. I quickly pass through the void and into my sleeping body. Bad moment to go back as I was feeling uncomfortable in the position in which I was sleepy.

Date: 27 May

Total sleep time: 9 + hrs

Pre bed: Lots of spaghetti

Sleep quality and recall: while I know that there were many long dreams , I cannot access them. Was very sleepy and it felt like deep sleep, woke up a few times naturally, but decided against any serious WBTB.

Fragment1: I am discussing dreaming quantity and mantras

Fragment2: A small white fluffy dog

Fragment3: sexy moments

Fragment4: In high school, my teacher from primary school is there and he seems angry

Fragment5: In high school again, in another room making plans with a friend of mine

Fragment6: In some place which is supposed to be my parents', I must evacuate the place because someone is after me, but I am distracted, they almost get me.

Fragment7: It is the middle of the final school year, and a friend of mine gets transferred to our class. I am very happy about that and begin to imagine how cool it will all be

Prebed: 1 1/2 glass of soy milk

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Recall method: none, woke up briefly after each dream but was so sleepy, I didn't bother to write anything. Did not attempt WBTB either. Everything is so fragmented now, good thing I still remember although with much less detail the short DILD I had.

Dream1: We are back to high school and as usual we have to do an extra year. Everybody should be in class soon, I wonder again how are we going to do that. I am waiting for a friend of mine to show up as usual, I don't think he did.

Fragment2: One of my classmates, her features are a bit strange and now she also has a sister that looks very similar to her. (She actually has a brother)

Fragment3: On the beach, I am watching the waves. I think somebody, it kind of looked like a documentary and I was part of it, said that here the waves are just the right size to swim and maybe surf?

Dream4 mini-DILD: The background is grey and a number of DCs that look like zombies are walking towards me. I become lucid. I remember my recent resolution to freestyle during the next lucids and see what I can make out of the situation. I decide that I will use this one to train my reactions. Ok, so they are walking towards me, I don't care at all. I am just consciousness, no material substance, they can't hurt me. They are still advancing, and one comes so close that it actually touches my hand. I feel and see my hand and this destroys my concept of non-materiality. I brace myself for the impact. The dream slowly fades and I wake up.

Note to self: Maybe I should spend less time thinking and more time acting in LDs?

Fragment5: I go to the kitchen to look for the bottle of water I bought for myself irl and find that one of our guests has opened it and now holds it in her hand. It is too late to say anything, I just wish this hasn't happened.

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April Review

Number of ld nights: 9 (3 with double lds)

Number of lds: 12 (2 WILD, 2 DEILD, 8 DILD)

Quality: Good, with few exceptions, a few fade away issues and changing the scene is still a challenge

Recall: I am getting used to having a roller-coaster type of recall. I am not sure if I should place additional demands on that at the moment.

Things to work on:

- I think I might go for some flexibility on task completion and work more on stability. (But who knows in what kind of mood I will be?)

- I also want to go back to a more decent WBTB schedule after meeting all kinds of relatives and friends is over.

- There are other issues (like changing the scene) to work on but will see how it all goes and deal with them accordingly.

I got more than I expected in April, so I won't be expecting more than I can get in May. Just keep dreaming...

This journal entry will be more like a reminder to myself. I had about 5-6 dreams, all of them a more or less uneventful rehash of old places and people, that are clearly DS to me. Here's a brief summary:

Dream1: My school again; this time it was about a forum for the school

Dream2: My best friend from school was at our old place

Dream3: My mom at another town from my past, we also went to KFC?

Dream4: Strolling in my hometown

Dream5: In front of my grandma’s place, then waiting for my grandma inside; some people in the neighbourhood were partying, listening to Gangnam style

Fragment6: In a tea shop?

Experiment night 3/7
Experiment: falling asleep while imagining a white letter “a” on area below navel (from dream yoga book). Usual effects for me – increased dream vividness and a greater chance of LD

This evening: somewhat hard to concentrate on the white “a”, some trouble falling asleep after a rather heavy meal. Nevertheless, the first dream was quite strong and detailed, perhaps about 5 hrs after sleep onset.

Dream 1: I was in what looked similar to my grandmother’s building, and it turns out this very important for me irl person, a main DC now lives. I am going up and down the stairs, in the hope that I will finally meet him along the way, but he is not there. I leave the building, standing on the stairs that lead outside, looking at a person that is walking down the street. At first I don’t recognize him, he is wearing a white hat or strange blouse, but then I finally see that it is the DCs I was waiting for. As if this were a real life situation, I try to hide my excitement of seeing him (haven’t seen him for 12 years irl) my eyes shyly looking to my left, then allowing myself to smile and going to greet him. He is being polite, greets me, and says that he hasn’t seen me for a year. “Well, it’s because I don’t live here anymore”, I reply. He makes some remarks about different countries which make no sense at all, I correct him with my knowledge, which by the way is also wrong. Then, the conversation seems to be over for him and he likes to continue on his way. “Wait, why don’t you tell me what you have been up to these days”? I really don’t wanna let him go. I pat him on the cheek the way I do with my bf. That is really strange and embarrasses me, I begin to apologise myself, and then, I do it again! I tell him that I pat my bf the same way, he reacts in some strange way, and his face starts to distort and now he has some facial features similar to my bf. I am quite worried about what he thinks about me in this dream and apologize for my weirdness again and try to change the subject. [end]

8:30 Our neighbours wake me up. I write down this dream and I decide I will try to WILD at 8:50. First WILD attempt ever. Initially, I was too alert, a lot of thoughts in my head, then I finally manage to relax with some nice thoughts. I wake up at 10:35 - WILD fail. I remember a dream but decide against writing it down because that will wake me up too much. I try DEILD. DEILD fail. I continue sleeping. BF is already up, walking around.

12:30 – I finally wake up, disappointed, and I have no recall of any dreams whatsoever. I isolate myself with my notes and want to remember. Nothing. Did I dream about a school? Yes! Finally, some fragments begin to emerge:

Dream2: This was the one immediately after the WILD attempt. It was the first day of school for the year and I am in my high school (DS). My mom is with me and I don’t like that. I try to send her away, telling her that I am going to class. She leaves the building. I have other plans too and leave the building, looking for someone familiar outside. There are fewer people than I expect. Some guys are playing, throwing a tennis ball that lands in my hands, I awkwardly toss it back, having trouble controlling my movement, it goes in the wrong direction, but they manage to catch it. I wake and know that I have failed the WILD.

Dream3: [Fragment]After watching some factories, I hear my friend DC from school (DS) tell me some arguments about China. He says that they had a country only for 80 years or something like that. He was discussing the development. I told him that he is wrong, and there had been China, for some 5000 years, though not in its present form. Tribes and clans that have come together and apart over time. I tell him that some 3000 years BC the Chinese were already highly advanced, and I refer to a pottery that exists irl (I saw on wiki December 2011), that he can check online if he doesn’t believe me. I feel guilty for arguing with such a fervor with him…

Dream4: There is some kind of international festival, where young girls wear national traditional dresses. I am looking around, and become part of an “active audience”, which is part of the set. There is a cupboard with some objects that faces the stage, rather than the audience. This is where I stand. I start messing with the objects that are placed on the cupboard. There is a miniature watch, which literally falls apart in my hands. I try to fix it, but small parts keep falling to places that I can’t even reach. I try making the watch or whatever it is stay in one place, then I hide it somewhere at the back. I look at the objects on the cupboard, I made such a mess there, I feel embarrassed, hoping that no one will notice and that this does not influence the play in any negative way. A DC woman with authority comes and looks at the mess. She doesn’t notice anything out of order and I feel relieved. She is more concerned with finding some suspicious individuals, a renaissance picture and a news article is presented to me. It tells briefly the story of three pirates, a man and two women, one of them, I identify as myself. The DC woman tells me that these are dangerous and it is possible that they are around. I become worried that she might discover my true identity, but luckily she doesn’t. The performance is about to begin. Now it is more like a theatre act than a dancing performance. I make remarks that it isn’t the plot? that people are here to follow, but rather the performance and play of actors. That’s what it is all about.

Dream5: I was talking to a DC real estate agent. He looked at the nearby river and found it really disgusting. He said that he would never live near a place like that. I agreed with him and told him that I felt sick from the river. I would rather live somewhere high up the mountains. I looked and there was a green-yellow hill with some houses on it. Some misty clouds were over the hill. I would rather live there, I thought. Then I fly/zoom over the hill, looking for a place where we could move to. I reach some kind of city suburbs, with strange buildings, not industrial, but rather they look like some past communist memorials. I remember in the dream that this was exactly the path of the processions from the day before that I saw on dream TV. (fake memory?) In front of the memorial are some Czech enthusiastic young people, they are members of a youth communist organization and seem to be celebrating. I try communicating with them in an eastern European language that I make up at the moment, something like eastern European Esperanto. [end] The movie that my bf is watching in the other room is getting too loud and I finally wake up.

Mood after Dr1 Wake: Sad
Mood after final wake: A bit irritated with myself as no LD, and initially no memory of dreams