Carabas

Escaped from my IRL home onto my IRL street and went lucid when I crossed that boundary line. Started flying, admired some views of Christmas lights, getting less and less realistic as I went on, culminating in a castle with turrets completely covered in white lights.

Memory gap, crossed a lake by a natural rock bridge and entered a cavern on the other side, memory gap again, and then I'm semi-lucid again in a room with three sleeping people I recognize, including Julia. I try to leave without disturbing any of them, fail in this. Mary Jane wakes up, the closest to the exit, and we speak for a while; although we seem to know each other, I'm aware that Mary Jane is wholly imaginary, and that's the point of her in this scene, that she's imaginary. Julia is in the bed across from hers, and eventually wakes up - that's what I wanted to avoid most. I can feel the sensation of pressure from her hand, which stands out - it's the first time I've used that sense in tonight's dreams. Her face has started to resemble Mary Jane's, which is sad but not a surprise; but I think "her name is still her own," which is a surprise and a relief. (This whole scene is about mental associations.)

There's a woman being haunted by phantom images of a man who'd once hurt her in reality. (The dream reality, that is - no IRL-based characters here.) She's just started flailing around on her bed, surrounded by two or three images of him like white smoke, they merge and blend into each other. I rush in, expecting the phantom images to vanish when I touch them, but they don't. I hold her down to stop her from hurting herself, and I realize that since I'd been around when that man hurt her in reality and hadn't stopped him, of course she wouldn't see me as able to dispel his phantom now. But I persist, and gradually the phantoms disappear.

But she's still flailing around, thrashing her head from side to side. I realize it's my own presence she's reacting to now. Disturbed, I back off and call for one of the women in the house, and a woman in an apron immediately rushes in and holds her down. The moment I back away, those phantom images return. It doesn't seem to make much difference to the haunted woman either way.

I'm listening to a man die while I remain in hiding. I'm thinking that maybe I should have moved sooner and saved him, even though I'd have risked being seen - but I don't have any particular emotion about this, except maybe a little irritation at myself. I've been sent into this old stone ruin of a fortress, and I'd intended for only five particular men to be spared. Now I'm down to four. It's not ideal, but I'll have to live with it.

I couldn't hear her very clearly from my hiding place under their bed, but the woman who stabbed him said something to the effect that he should have recognized her. Some personal revenge thing - none of my business. Now I'm seeing the sort of smoke haze of colors passing before my eyes that I associate with life leaving a body. I watch it dissipate in the air, and I'm irritated at the waste. Waiting around is pointless now - and the woman should be directly above me. I stab up through the mattress.

When she dies, my perspective shifts. I'm floating in the void, with this massive black slab of a door in front of me, as wide as it is tall, some kind of geometric symbol across it. It's standing on this sort of grid far below, like a chess board where all the squares are black, with the door as a line across the center of the board. There's a few gravestones occupying some of the squares of the grid - that's new. I realize immediately they represent the previous targets the door sent me after - one of them must represent that woman whose death brought me back here. The door's saying something in my head about bringing it wisdom for the dead.

3rd person, this image of vast blue sky and white clouds, even on the ground, which is perfectly flat and reflective, reminds me of salt flats, and in the distance there's a bed with a body lying on it, and a figure walking towards it. The dream zooms in to follow the figure, a middle-aged man here to return his lover's soul to his body, the man in the bed, 20's/30's ish, curly blonde hair. There's a second body on the bed, a naked woman, and unexpectedly, when the man revives and sits up, the woman sits up too.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

While reading an article on the internet, I start thinking about the symbolism of owls as messengers or representatives of wisdom, and that the information they deliver is always reliable even without knowing the source. After some more internet browsing, ending up looking at TV listings, I decide I need to get away from the tv/internet, I should go meditate, clear my head. (Disappointed I didn't actually get around to meditating before I woke up, I'm curious how that would have gone.)