Psionik

I was lying down in my bed, descending deeper and deeper into concentration, then meditation. I observed various snippets of dreams and dismissing them - I was not planning to try shared dream tonight. No, my target was OBE. I felt that my other body is restless, pushing away from boundaries of physical body... Yet I descended deeper, allowing myself to find how deep in meditation I can go down without loosing myself in it. I saw white and black flashes... I heard mumbling and growling from time to time... I lost feeling of my physical body... then I heard sound as if very high note was played and it ended with something like BZUIIING! and what was left was roaring silence. Everything stopped, no flashes, no sound... nothing left. After some time I allowed myself to float my other body out of physical one smoothly, without feeling of any restraint.
I was above my physical body in my bedroom. It was dark night. I saw things shining in red light. I floated slowly around without the feeling of any gravity, there was no up or down for me. Nothing was out of ordinary... but nothing was touchable. I floated slowly through the wall of my house into night... the surrounding faded away into darkness. I felt very relaxed and in peace. I experimented how far can I go without loosing consciousness. From darkness some angelic looking beings glowing in bluish light became visible... and I only observed. There was temptation to come after them... and I didn't care the temptation. Those angelic looking beings slowly morphed into demonic ones, glowing in red light. Yet I didn't care. I only observed them. I felt a malicious intent from them. I felt that I should fear. I wondered what is a fear, how to feel it. I wondered whether I should try to preach. Yet, I was able to do none of that. I floated and observed them to attack and dissipate as they touched my nonphysical body. I was alone, again. The body became nonexistent and slowly coalesced into bluish ball of light. I shined in the darkness softly and observed my surroundings. Surrounding of nothingness. My consciousness dissolved after some time afterwards.

After routine relaxation and concentration exercise before sleeping I felt my spiritual body to free itself off of physical body a little therefore I allowed myself to stand up from it. It was very easy. My surrounding was greyish but not dark as usually when I travel at night. I saw the inner light of things unusually bright. I walked through my house finding it empty. Then I left out right through the wall to the empty street. And I walked for some time observing my surrounding, feeling it. I felt deep sadness but at the same time I was well balanced, therefore the OBE felt stable.

I came to the city and it too was empty. The lighting was stronger, the sun was up on the sky, yet everything, every colour was greyish. I saw gravel down to sand size very sharply, each piece of grain, each rock... and I came to the big bridge over the river.

I saw there an angel, who I instinctively knew as angel of death. He brought an unknown young woman with dark bushy hair there and pushed her under the bridge into darkness. I felt pang of great sadness and love toward that woman. And I came closer wanting to come after her. The angel of death looked like he wanted to stop me, telling me that that woman deserves to suffer for eternity because she took her life. That nothing would help her. And I went toward him nevertheless... And angel ran away. I turned and went under the bridge.

There was darkness under the bridge. It was as if I stepped through a border between day and night. Light was not penetrating under the bridge as it normally would. But it was possible to see on the other side to the light. There were people there, maybe 15-20 of them. Many of them looked like homeless people. And there was sitting that girl between them, tears were dropping constantly from her eyes. I stepped toward her, and my inner light repulsed those people away from me. That girl too tried to go away, but I lifted her onto my arms like child, and I started to cradle her while I was walking slowly to the light. It was like she weighed nothing. She wept constantly, and she was trying to free herself from my embrace, but I was holding her fast. After short while she stopped to struggle with my embrace. I crossed the border between dark and light and she started to cry as if it was hurting her. So I went back to darkness with her. I tried to ease her, I was filled with unconditional love which I tried to infuse into the woman. And I was cradling her while I was walking through the mud and filthy water under the bridge. For some reason I called her with the name of my first love even if she didn't look like her. I persuaded her that she is loved, that she doesn't have to suffer... And I was carrying her closer to light for short time and then back to darkness so she would be able to accustom to it slowly. At last, I managed to bring her out to the light for good, but she was holding me and looked scared of light. She was heavier and heavier for some reason. Nevertheless, even if she was growing more heavy I held her fast in my embrace and I walked away from darkness to stronger and stronger light till I lost connection with astral world.

Remarks
This OBE felt great... but sad. I needed to write it out of my system. Even now that sadness is lingering around me... I don't know in this state of consciousness how can one feel so deep sadness and love at once and yet to be unattached to those feelings, but it was how I was feeling there.

I was submerging slowly into darkness. But it wasn't total darkness. There was something moving in it. My vision went more elaborate... moving objects were people. I was flying, gliding slowly above street, large buildings were standing around it. It was night. The street lamps were shining with bright yellow light. I felt unsure. I felt dark, wild, dangerous emotions targeted on myself. I needed to push feeling of fear constantly away... that feelings were trying to attach onto my consciousness.
People walking on the street were dark. Not dark as in skin colour or clothes colour, but they felt dark. They emitted darkness from themselves... It looked like black aura was around them. When they felt I'm there flying peacefully, pushing darkness away from myself, they all started to converge to my position. I felt oppressive force engulfing my consciousness.... I tried desperately to move above, to be unattached to what I saw and felt. It functioned somehow, not fully, but strongly enough. I flew directly through those people... and I left them behind, I was gliding faster and faster into peaceful darkness and losing slowly consciousness falling into dreamless slumber...

Remarks
*It was late when I went to bed, I wanted to see nice drama in TV. I was tired and I programmed myself to be well slept in 4 hours (to go to work), which I managed, even if I felt to be slow the whole next day
*I didn't try to exercise my relaxations, I only let my mind slowly descent into slumber maintaining consciousness.
*Subjectively about 10 minutes long experience

I had multiple OBEs tonight... I counted till fifth one, then I stopped, as I found it stupid One OBE took between 5 to 20 minutes.
I went to my bed at about midnight. I started as usually with my autogenic training routine (weight and warmth). In unusually short time of exercise I started to feel my second body...

I forcibly separated myself from physical body and got up. I felt something like ropes, or bonds to my astral body's legs, hands and body trying to hold me back to my physical body... and I forcibly ripped that bonds... and I was free at once. I observed my surroundings for a while. Nothing looked out of ordinary. The room was dark, but I saw in that darkness well enough. I had some clothes on me... like shroud dress... white one. I stripped it down. It felt like obstacle... I was much better of naked, it felt better... Then I got back to my bed and I started to inspect my physical body. It was naked like in real world(I don't like clothes when I go sleep) and I could see every detail of skin of my physical body... I tried whether I will feel the touch of astral body on physical one (I feel that more often than not), but I didn't. I tried some pretty extreme things that could be painful even during OBE, but I didn't feel anything. Maybe this separation was better than many others... Then I went to observe my wife and children. They all were sleeping peacefully. I went downstairs to ground floor and after some time of observation I lost connection and was back in my body. I was still aware of second body! Therefore I continued:

I separated from my body and again I was clothed... for some reason I didn't like it and I stripped down again. Then I went out of my house through closest wall. I didn't feel the wall at all. It was dark outside, but street lights were shining. I got an idea to test my concentration through astral sex. Therefore I went through houses down the street trying to find suitable object to this experiment. Everybody slept. But that was not problem for me. The problem was, that even attractive looking women didn't feel attractive for me at all. Not in sexual way in any case. After I checked maybe 15 women, I let it be. It was such state of mind... I wanted only to drift around and observe things...

I separated from my body and I was on our local bus station 0.75 km from my house... Street lights were shining brightly. It was nice, quiet night. I felt the pull to my house, so I walked. After maybe 30m of walk I was on the crossroad and all lights went out. It was totally black darkness. I started to hear whispers and quiet voices... I felt beings around myself... I felt them with my mind, but not with astral body (no touches). Some beings were felt like dangerous ones. Others were indifferent. I felt no worries. I took my key pouch out from my trousers and tried to activate small light torch I have on it. Of course similarly to many OBEs, the technology was not functioning. How typical. Then... Why I have my clothes again? Get rid of them After I was naked again, I concentrated on my inner energy and produced strong aura lighting. My aura was today silvery white, sparkling. I saw something like twist of black bodies... All that beings were trying to clear area of my aura as fast as possible. I contemplated that a little, but then I started to walk home. I walked and observed my surroundings for some time till I lost connection and found myself back in my body.

I separated again. I'm in dark void. I hear again whispers from darkness. I generated silvery aura... extremely strongly lighted sphere of about 10m in diameter around myself. I got to rid of my clothes again . When my light sphere expanded, I saw again black bodies... so I wanted to observe them closely. I tried to fly forward, to the voices... But I didn't see anything more. Then I tried to deform my aura sphere to cylinder- in one direction... for about 30-40 meters... But it didn't help. I didn't see anything in the darkness. But I heard the voices... I flew in the darkness... Did I fly for real? I don't know, I felt it. But I didn't have any reference point. Then I saw some white light sphere flying across of my flight path... I was mildly surprised and wanted to follow that anomaly, but it went away and got lost in the darkness. After a while I saw second light sphere, this one was yellowish white... It flew nearly against myself. I adjusted my course a little and we met. Hmmm... I met something- the sphere was hollow and nobody was inside....

And again I separated from my body... This time I was in brightly lighted room of some sorts. It looked like doctor's office. I was naked. There was an attractive blond woman in white coat. She told me, that we are going to test my body stability (e.g. balance)... I had to rotate. I did so. I stood on one heel and made an impulse to rotate by my other foot. One impulse... I started to rotate on my heel at about one rotation in 3 seconds. I rotated... and that woman observed me and wrote something down into her record book. It was strange As I rotated, my body started precession movement similar the flywheel would do. The angle was going to be extreme but it wasn't like I was going to fall down Nicely looking woman physician wrote down something more and then told me, that it is enough... I didn't obey... I liked that rotation. I was losing perception of room which was slowly substituted by deep blackness of the universe filled by stars and majestic planetary clouds... I observed everything... It was very nice view. I rotated minutes till I lost connection again...

I felt that my second body is still free so why not to continue? I separated again. I was... somewhere... It was like universe... but I knew I was billions of light years away from my physical body... Further, than observable universe, but still within universe. It was black, but I saw whole galaxies float nearby... Some spiral, some elliptic... even spherical ones... And I saw also gigantic black holes, some larger than galaxies. I felt the space... I felt the matter... I felt the gravity... I didn't have body, I was point of consciousness. I was not affected by anything. I flew very fast. Object were moving as I flew... I heard whispers from the darkness which was surrounding me, but I didn't care. I observed celestial bodies... As I flew, I flew also through some galaxies and black holes. I saw black holes like total blackness only the sides were dimly lighted by pale light. I didn't feel a thing as I flew through objects. The flight through black hole looked like a black sphere was expanding in front of me, then short blackness and then I was out of it on the other side. I flew forward further and further, observing my surrounding... till I lost connection...

I had a few separation from which I remember only peace and void. Quietness... Existence.

My last separation time . This was short one, maybe 5 or so subjective minutes long. I separated into my bedroom. I was naked. My naked physical body was still looking naked and dead to me. There was darkness, but I saw good enough everything in my surrounding. I observed a little... my mind felt tired but was strongly concentrated on here and now like whole time. Discipline is necessary. For some reason I looked on my clocks and I saw, that it was about 2:15h... I got curious: what time is it in real world? I went back to my body and it was about 2:18h- close enough I didn't manage further separations and I dropped asleep fast.

Observations:
I had maybe 9 to 10 separation... it is quite a lot, but I had such experiences in my younger times often.
Forcible separation doesn't feel bad at all. It is only... It is not as naturally flowing. But it can take a lot of time to go to state where I don't feel that bonds. Time in which I can fall asleep.
Strange how I was refusing clothes... This would be first time I actively sought to not have them. Well I knew it was not physical world. Why do I have to be clothed?
I don't try sex too often while in LD or OBE. It doesn't come into my mind often and even less often I want to risk the shortening of experience. But I had nice OBE last week, and I had today my first... so, why not? It is good measure of my concentration level. I don't consider this to be rape!!! Firstly; I don't use force to force it and secondly; if there would be an objection to this action, I would stop. It is my policy to be civil to dream and astral(and other) characters. Thirdly in that state of mind one feels to be part of something larger. It would be like to try to harm myself. I'm adding this, because my wife has this view on this particular action.
Aura was spectacular. I had quite a control of it. Using aura as lighting is nice Silvery aura today... something new. Most often I have blue violet aura.
Night projection leads for some reason to experience in night astral world... At least by me. I'm curious... Does somebody have similar experience?
How could be somebody scared of walking out of body is beyond of me...
Projecting into space is nice. That one is quite seldom for me.
Projecting into void was similar to meditation, but not equal. The state of mind is much more quiet and peaceful meditation...
As you see I don't have control as to where I'm projecting. I don't mind. Of course it would be nice to do targeted projection, but I don't know how. Destabilisation of OBE is the last thing I want.