Recent DJ Posts

ISIS
I'm sitting in class. The lecturer is one of the lecturer's at my current university, a bald white guy with glasses. The room looks more like a classroom from my high school. After a short while the lecturer takes his dark blue, thick coat and another object which I can't remember, perhaps his bag. He makes a joke about leaving and then says that in all seriousness, we're not allowed to continue the lecture in this room. We're going to a different room, though it's not a real lecture room.

In the new room, he mentions that he's not allowed to lecture here. But that's ok, cause he's not giving a lecture, he's just giving a presentation which has powerpoint slides (his idea of being funny, and it actually is). At some point we're not in the room anymore but somewhere outside and he's sort of honouring a young guy for academic achievements.

Next thing I remember my lecturer is holding one of his arms stretched out, holding a gun. He shoots a student through the head. Apparently my lecturer is a member of ISIS. Donald Trump also appears. He's apparently also a member of ISIS. His whole political campaign served to drive regular muslims into the arms of ISIS. I think it's actually pretty smart and makes me think of him in a different light. Less idiot, more mastermind. There's also a flashback or something to him with an old woman whom he loves, though I can't remember more beyond that. She's a vulnerable woman due to her age.

Fragments
» I'm watching a movie with my little brother and my mom. It's about Super Mario. My brother isn't enjoying the movie. I can't recall if I am. The movie isn't what you'd expect from Super Mario. It's a very deep movie in the sense of a lot of thinking and deep thoughts being involved.

» I'm in a room which is quite shady. All I remember is that there are several gas canisters or oxygen tanks, something along those lines. I open at least one of them up and see that they are filled with seemingly adult human bodies. All of them are black though. This is clearly a hate crime / genocide type of thing.

Pole fun
It's a sunny day and I'm walking outside with a girl I know. Behind us is a car, with on the backseat my girlfriend's sister. We're walking in a straight line and the car is right behind us. At some point I think I do a parkour move. A bit later I see a pole, perhaps with a traffic sign on it and a short thicker pole or something alike. I decide to take a run, jump and grab the tall pole with two hands, swing back 360 degrees towards the smaller pole, which is a bit of distance away and land on it. The first time I fail. In the mean time a crowd gathers. They're actually standing in the way, preventing me from doing my run up. I tell people that if they want to watch that's fine, but if they're standing in the way then there's not much to watch. Still some people are in the way. I go for my run up eventually and people move. I manage to execute everything just right and land on the other pole.

(About 3/4 hours after bedtime)

+ I'm chasing / being chased through an indoor multi-floor structure. I'm trying to lose the people following me. I jump/float down a deep stairwell to get well ahead of them but they're already there when I reach the bottom. I exit the area through some sort of portal which I then close and lock behind me, successfully trapping them there.

Then I'm outdoors and there are trays of custom made (goat cheese?) under glass on pedestals, there are 5-6 of these all around. I look in at them and see several-digit numbers stamped on the "cheeses." A number like "7619" or "7615". That is so the customer can identify their order and pick it up. I'm wondering if I'll be able to get in my order in time.

+ (f) softball. I'm in center field. There is a play and I field and toss the ball to the infielder, which is a mentally challenged girl (?), I make sure she can successfully participate in the play and feel accomplished.

+ Street scene. I have a side view of a car is driving straight towards a road trap/block put up by a hooligan/(carjacker?). It is a trap set up so that the barrier is seen edge-on from the point of view of the driver and so very hard to see, but the driver will crash if he runs into it. The driver manages to see the barrier at the last second and hits the brakes and stops before hitting it. The hooligan is standing there right behind the trap.

I'm on the street and attacking/fighting the hooligans. I'm calling out for my kids by their names so they can come help me fight them.

+ (mostly semi-LD) (something about interacting with Jr. High / High School friends?)
I'm in an area with a lot of (students?). My attention focuses on the girls standing in a long line. I get a bold feeling, like I can just go up to a pretty girl and start kissing her. But I'm slightly hesitant, concerned about consequences. I decide at some point that there probably are no consequences, but I'm not entirely sure. I go up to a girl in line and take her in my arms and we kiss a bit. I'm thinking about what the other "people" around think of this. I take her to a room. Inside the room, the door opens and another girl tries to come in. At first I block her and hope she'll go away but she doesn't. Then I think "hey why not let her in to join us", so I hold the door open for her to enter. At this point she hesitates, and I reach and take her hand and lead her in the room, lean her up against the wall and start kissing her.

Then I'm standing outside my childhood home on the street, leaning in the front passenger side window of a car parked there, there is a driver inside and my wife is in the front passenger seat. I'm animatedly discussing the ("lucid") dream I just had, how I was kissing these girls and how cool it was. Then I freeze in horror: I've just revealed my secret LD life to my wife! She is probably not going to agree that it was fun, she'll probably be furious. She gets out of the car and walks down the driveway and appears to be thinking about it. I'm expecting her to erupt in rage and indignation at any moment. I'm in a panic, what should I do about my DJ which is stored on my ipad [false]? If I don't delete it she'll find all my secret dream encounters. But I don't want to delete it and lose the history. I see her now walking from right to left a few meters away and she gives me a "come here" gesture with the fingers of her hand. I think the s^&t is about to hit the fan. But she seems to want to know instead how to clear some button on the upper right of her ipad.

21/3/16
Dream 1: I was playing Minecraft building an adventure map. I was travelling down a river to an island, however there was a biome crossover on that island so I was trying to edit it so it looked nicer. My dad walked in and told me to stop playing and do the dishes, which I agreed to do begrudgingly.

Dream 2: Kobe Bryant was improving the PR of a space tour company by appearing on their ads and being their spokesperson. He was trying to bring in fans of basketball to the company I guess. I went to watch him play at some showmatch sponsored by the space company.

Fragment: Something about being at the airport/train station.

Dream 3: I was in an open courtyard when I got a phone call from my step-mum about how her family was coming down to visit us for Easter so I had to get back. I was teleported back there where her sister and her kids were there and getting into the chocolate. Their dad called in I think and it got a little tense.

Dream 4: I was watching this dodgy anime movie late at night in a cinema with my brother and a friend. Everyone else was a fan and singing along and stuff but I didn't understand any of it and thought it was stupid. The movie actually finished early because everyone in the theatre thought the end was bad so they skipped it. Everyone stood up and applauded as the lights turned on and my maths teacher from year 7 walked in. She gave a speech about how grateful she was to be able to organise something like this and then announced she would be retiring for her kid. She also asked for donations and my brother pushed me forward, they both started demanding I give her money to make up for some previous infraction I had no idea bout.

Fragment: Some video about "Understanding Consent Laws".

Fragment: Something about walking through a castle.

Dream 5: I was in my media classroom with the rest of the class but a different teacher. All of the year 12's there were poring over a wine list for their graduation ceremony, whereas the other year 11's and I were discussing how to depose the teacher who we felt was bad. We settled upon nominating one of us and we spread this plan as the teacher walked in. She started the class but then we all formed a circle and confronted her about the issue. We had an election after some debate and our girl won. The teacher seemed to handle it quite well though, sitting down and letting our nominee teach us.

Dream 6: I was a part of a regiment of dwarves representing the kingdom. We were eating dinner in a dark chamber inside our enemy's castle, seeking to secure peace with them. We finished the meal but then we were suddenly under attack. We escaped out to the entrance of the castle but saw were surrounded. Half of our group of about 13 stayed back to fight off the enemy hordes, the rest made their way into the flagship plane and two others into a smaller biplane. We flew off and thought we were safe, however the enemy sent a plane after us that was incredibly fast, manoeuvrable and could shoot there homing fireballs out of a cannon. It chased after the flagship and we had to duck and roll and desperately avoid the fireballs while they closed the gap. The smaller biplane came in from the flanks and shot at the enemy with machine guns but it didn't do very much damage. They kept on swinging back over the enemy to try and cause some damage, and although they weren't doing anything serious they were enough of an annoyance for the enemy plane to target them instead. The biplane veered off sideways and the enemy followed, I realised that they were sacrificing themselves to let us get away. Our home was only a few minuted away, but I didn't know if we would make it. The biplane was desperately weaving away from the fireballs, however they got struck by one on the corner and got sent into a spin, and were finished when another hit the engine and the plane exploded. The enemy then came chasing back after us, but before anything else could happen I woke up.

We were driving very fast in an SUV on the outskirts of a town. My mother's ex husband (Niko) was in the driver's seat, I was in the backseat, and there were two other's with us. It's daytime and God has begun his destruction of the Earth. I saw an airplane above a town that lost control and was falling from the sky. Children were escaping from the plane with techniques they learned from school.

All of a sudden, we are going off-road at about 45 mph. I see a freeway with a tall barbed-wire gate all along both sides of it. Niko turns and jumps the SUV off of the hill we were on, runs into the barbed-wire fence and seamlessly transitions us onto the highway. The freeway was in a forested area and most cars were heading the opposite direction we were. Some cars were going slower than us, so Niko decides to weave in and out of traffic to maintain his speed.

We get to the end of the freeway at a small forest reserve-type area except that it is the Garden of Eden hidden in plain sight throughout time. We get out of the car and go to the lake about 50 ft from the car. It's night now and one of the guys shows me a sea monster under the lake. The lake is very deep and I can see through the muddy water the sea monster idly swimming. The guys says something to the effect of 'isn't it cool?'

I get up and see a pack of ferocious wolves approaching me. I pick up a stick that had a smaller, sharp stick tied to it at the end similar to a pickaxe. A wolf jumps at me and I swing and seriously injure it. As the wolf lays on the ground, bleeding, he tells me,' over there, we saved it.' Instinctively knowing he was helping me, I run over about 20 ft and pick up a gauntlet off the ground. I run back to the wolves and punch one with the gauntlet. A flash of white light comes out of the gauntlet and hits the wolf with enough force to knock him back 10 ft. I proceed to kill every wolf in the pack with one hit each until they are all dead. Then I go over to the lake and punch into it hoping it would kill the sea monster. But the punch doesn't seem to have much effect without a close target. I try to punch it again, then I woke up.

Wrote this up rather late in the day so lost a lot of the memory:

1)Walking along rows of patients in beds. I was trying to arrange some small candles in tubes attached to wires across a patient and trying to get it to sit up and not set fire to the bed. A memory of a psychotic patient that was sent to get me, not in any frightening way, but I can't remember much more about it.

2)A parking spot outside a nightclub and something about children - that's it!

3)A dream about one of my old girlfriends. I remember missing her awfully and knowing she won't come back.

I was walking down the stairs, peeking through the picture window to see what the weather was like outside. There was no car in the driveway. That didn't make sense; I've been keeping my dad's car in the driveway while he was unable to drive. Instantly suspicious, I look out the window again to confirm what I just saw. The car was there, but it was covered in a pile of mud and leaves so that it appeared to disappear into the landscape. Yup, I'm definitely dreaming. There's only one thing I can think of doing in a dream. I picture my crush, standing in front of me. I run to him and kind of launch myself at him, wrapping my arms and legs around his much-taller body as I plant a big smooch on him. He wasn't as sturdy as he seemed, though, and we both fall over. I think my head hits the floor. The dream changes, and I find myself back in front of my window where this all started. The scene outside can only be described as a post-apocalyptic nightmare. There are all these roaming animals fighting each other. My sister's sweet little cat comes up to me and I pick him up, making a promise that I would keep him safe from the horrors outside. He bites me.

I remember being lucid and seeing what looked like ayers rock in Australia. Only in it were carved about a dozen screaming faces (like Mt. Rushmore) only the faces were abstract, distorted, and a little creepy. They sort of seemed to melt into one another, had big pits for eyes and I don't think they had noses. I think there were also two moons in the twilight sky.

I remember thinking to myself 'alright, but where is the rest of the lucid dream?' I noticed that I could still feel myself in a horizontal orientation in my bed, and that I was very close to waking up.

I know there were several awakenings, at 3:15, 5:00, and 6:30 before I got out of bed at about 7:30.

Maybe I was trying a little too hard last night

I'm going to make a few more audio recordings this morning. One of the things I need to focus on now that I seem to be lucid dreaming (heh, I'm basically lucid dreaming nightly, if you count bits like this). I just haven't posted because some dreams were sexy, personal or both. I guess the main goal now is to focus a little more on what I'm doing when I get lucid. I'm going to come up with three goals. (Since people supposedly remember things well in threes.) And here they are.

Goal #1: Manei, NO KIDS!

This cropped up the night before last night, and a couple times while I was gone. Read my previous DJ entry for info. The simple version of this is Manei, my DG is attempting to convince me that it would be fun to explore a future timeline where we have kids. Now I've put up with a lot of the romantic BS (and even enjoyed some of it) but I'm drawing the line here. I can think of many reasons why this is a terrible idea, but what is basically boils down to is the fact that the reality would be awkward, entail too much responsibility for a dream world that is supposed to be about freedom and exploration, and serve no purpose. I'm 20 years old, have no WL partner at the moment and while I might get married in the future, I do not want to ever start a family. I don't see what benefit I could gain from this dream.

I tried to convince myself she wasn't gonna play evasive and would just listen to what I had to say. In general, she's been evasive, annoying, and not nearly as reliable and understanding as she used to be. I used to appreciate her straightforward attitude, but she seems to have lost it. What really annoys me is she won't even afford me the opportunity to express my side of the story with dignity, because she knows I'm opposed to it.

The ultimatum is that we could perhaps explore this timeline in a couple more years, but it's not something I'm ready for right now.

Manei has also lost her profile picture privilege until she cuts the BS and lets me talk to her about what really matters.

Goal #2: Mind Hacking to drop a bad habit

I came up with this goal forever ago, and still haven't gotten around to it. I have a bad habit of biting my fingers and wanted to try using lucid dreaming to break it, since willpower based efforts in waking life never seem to cut it. How exactly I would go about this is uncertain. I might try manifesting a personification of the bad habit and conversing with him/her about how I might break the habit.

Goal #3: Elemental Mastery

This one is even more straightforward. But it's lowest on my list of priorities. My dreams have always held a heavy association with Avatar and the bending arts in it. I would like to master all four elements. Back when Manei was a little more useful, she gave me some pointers on water, so I'm pretty proficient at it. I pretty much figured out Fire on my own and use it for flying more than fighting. (In fact, I have some trouble with using it for fighting, so maybe practice that). I've hardly explored earth and air.

I had the vision of a porcupine twice. I woke up between dreams

1. There was a porcupine with a lot of long, white quills. He was quite big- the size of a small dog. I wasn't really frightened.
He was sitting at the front of a door at the end of a short hallway. The door was white with a gold knob.
He looked back at me and then huddled in the corner.
He looked grumpy, so I never approached him.

2. Same dream, except this time the porcupine had no quills.

Ever since that random lucid a week ago I have been having (and recalling) epic dreams. (Whenever I wake up in the night and acknowledge I am awake, I seem to remember my dreams better in the morning.)

I was planning to do a fild but I wanted to practice waking up via mantras alone first (Three am is my goal). (I did it the night before and woke up and 3:02 am And I was well happy ) I did mantras last night but I was pretty tired. It still worked but it was 3:53. And I was thirsty so I got up for a drink and couldn't fild... :'( Then I didn't get back to sleep till about six am.

I did however have a strange dream I recalled excellently.

I go to the local swimming pool and pass the receptionist. She's busy on the phone and it doesn't occur to me to go and pay. So I go straight to the changing rooms and then swim for a while. When I get out I have to pass reception again and I realise I hadn't payed.

When I look in my bag I realise I forgot my purse. I go up to the receptionist and say I forgot to pay and I don't have my purse. She is really kind and she tells me it's fine. She gives me a owe note and I promise to come back the next day with the money.

As I leave the reception to go outside I begin walking down the road. I see two police officers, I get nervous and walk a different way. But there are more cops that way. Infact in every direction there are cops. Eventually, two catch up to me and are like "You are under arrest." I try to say I've done nothing wrong and the red headed police lady asks why I was previously walking away from them. I don't answer and I get thrown into a police van.

There are three other people in there. Two guys, (One looking like eugene from buzzfeed ) and another old and slightly bald. Then a scared looking young blonde girl. They tell me they are all innocent and have no idea why they are here. They put us on a plane and the speaker tells us we are to all fall asleep. When I wake up I am alone and there is a blonde Ferret on the plane. I hold it and it loves me. (Random but I LOVE FERRETS so this isn't random to me )

Suddenly the other three come back and the girl is crying. I tell her I have a phone on me and she can borrow it to call someone. I think the dream ends just after the old guy confesses he likes me or something...

Morning of March 21, 2016. Monday.



I am with my family mostly as we are now (though I seem to be much younger at one point) where we presently live on W Street, though the house is bigger. Our kitchen is much bigger and has an extra counter running from south to north on the east side of the back hallway, with extra shelves above it. As I walk through our kitchen at one point, I notice a lot of loaves of bread and what seems to be cheap birthday party items (such as unopened packages with paper hats, paper plates, and cheap novelties and party favors and such). I am not sure whose birthday is upcoming.

At one point, there are a lot of Matchbox Cars arranged on different surfaces, mostly in two rows. A couple older males appear in our house eventually, though I am not sure of the reason. There is something about one of them trying to find a certain Matchbox Car, but which is a car from the 1940s. I try to help but I am not sure where everything is. I know I have most of the ones made in the 1960s. I think the Mercedes 300SE may be relevant but I do not say anything, only that I may be able to find what they are seeking (though I do not).

There is illogical setting distortion for a short time where I seem to shift outside and back inside while just standing in one spot (though the view may be implied to be from our window, though as a requisite it would have no screen or curtains), where I am looking at one of the men (who must have teleported there but who is back for the next scene) in a small light yellow golf cart (facing away from the west side of our house on the footpath) which seemingly resembles a downsized Roadster Hot Rod from the 1940s and I remark that I have a Matchbox Car like that, which is not exactly true as I firstly mistake the golf cart for an old car design and then consider I may be thinking about a different model, yet it really just looks like a modern ordinary golf cart upon a closer look. I feel a bit unusual and ineffectual in designating a new golf cart as a 1940s hot rod but the scene shifts again (though the scene itself seems random and like a “glitch” or like a very short dream within a longer and more vivid dream that slightly altered its flow).

Interestingly, Jack Odell (March 19, 1920-July 7, 2007) is present and walking about for quite some time. I am not sure why he is spending his time here for a day or two. We are talking about various aspects of Matchbox Cars (as the time period seems to shift physically only at one level and my collection is not present as it was just previously - though our sons still have many Matchbox Cars in their own rooms) as well as other ideas, including the unfortunate end of product quality and customer service in modern times with poorer and poorer design and less and less longevity and usability in anything made. He reflects on various events. I tell him how I used to keep my Matchbox Cars in a large suitcase. For some reason, I visualize all of them piled atop each other within the suitcase (it was actually a large black typewriter case), but in reality, they were kept in the original box. I tell him about the very first Matchbox Car I was given, which I cannot quite remember the name or number of. I give a couple details about it, including the green boat for the rack on top, and he seems to know what I mean.

“Ford Love,” he says, smiling. (It was actually a Ford Corsair.) I consider that Ford Love is a “real” model and nod hesitantly (since I do not want to call him wrong), but possibly not the one I had, though I do not say anything. He seems happy and nostalgic and I feel I am spending a day in a “realm of good memories” - yet I also seem puzzled as to why such a wealthy and well-known person would spend a day or two at our house, especially in such an informal and friendly manner. There are dream remnants that seem like “echoes” of long periods of conversation, like a subtle “phantom audio” that only some dream types produce.

20/3/16
Dream 1: I was at my grandparents house with my family. My grandpa tried to get us to play this game of ring around the rosie or something where 4 playing cards rotated around but we all knew how the game worked and so we didn't want to play. He seemed disappointed and went off to get some other game, I walked off to try to find the toilet. I switched the light but it didn't work (lucidity trigger come on :/) so then went into the bathroom next to it.

Dream 2: I was lying face down, planking almost, on a thin ledge. This guy was hitting me with a mallet with a super soft rubber tip so it didn't actually move me at all. I think we was trying to trick me into moving away or something, but I knew the jig was up so I stayed still and let him wail away on me with all the force of a feather.

Dream 3: I was in a class learning how to program a 2d rpg game, sort of like final fantasy. There were 4 different characters of different colours who had different moves, so I was working on them as the class ended. I went up to the teacher and asked some questions about that to him, I think he answered.

Fragment: Something about walking about at night time.

I was inside of some sort of professional looking building. I assumed it was owned by some company or something. I was sitting down at a white oval table in a room with a tan carpet and tan walls. There was a teacher and the south end of the table which was opposite of the door. "Is everyone ready?" she asked. I looked at the people around me. Most of them seemed younger than me by up to 5 years younger except for a chick named Natalie that is in my english class in waking life. She looked the same and she had her hair up in a pony tail and was wearing a white shirt with skinny blue jeans and black vans.
For some odd reason I suddenly get up and open the window and jump out. Luckily the room I was in was only on the 2nd floor so I faced no damage. I was now on the grassy fields that surrounding the huge building I was in and the many other similar buildings around it. Not far ahead of me was the freeway, and I could see it clearly considering it was well lighted by large super bright lights. This entire area was spotless and there was no litter in sight, it looked very clean and new. I walked over to the edge of the freeway and watched the cars pass by.
Suddenly I am teleported into an enormous mall. It barely resembles the mall I go to in waking life though it still has the same light brown tiled flooring and and off-white walls for the most part. "Yo I'm hungry as fuck" I think to myself. I walk over to the food court, finding it by luck, and look for a chick fil a. Within seconds I spot one and walk over to it to order some food. There is no line so I go straight up to the register. At the register there are two red head twins, and they are really attractive to say the least. They also have strong and vivid blue eyes as well as freckles on their faces. "Yeah I'll take the number 5 combo" I tell them. "What would you like to drink?" the one on the left asks. "Dr. Pepper will do the job" I tell her. I then pay for my food and start to eat it.
As I am eating my food I leave the food court and start looking around. I end up walking into a dark store with emo clothing that reminded me of Hot Topic. I have no idea what drew me to this store. On the ground inside there was an extremely nice red carpet with a gold threading on its outline. It looked as though it came from somewhere in the Middle East, but I'm not sure why I thought that. Just then I look a little farther into the store. There she is. Again. "My God there's no way. I have to be dreaming" I tell myself. I turn around to face away from her and count my fingers. I get distracted right as I do so "Hey" she says. I turn back around and look at her. Her eyes left me speechless as always, and her beautiful smile seemed to spark a fire of passion for her within me. "Now I've seen her 2 nights in a row" I think to myself. I am either semi-lucid or lucid, but recalling upon it now it is hard to tell.
She got closer to me. Suddenly a dude from behind us announced "You guys are going to be part of a Frankenstein movie I am making" he says. What does that have to do with anything? I assume he was the owner of the store as he was dressed differently and stood out from everyone else and had been roaming the store with a superior eye since I walked in. I turn back around and I become hypnotized by her eyes once more. I then pin her to the ground and we start making out passionately(That was fast). She stops me for a second and just looks at me with this look of intense desire, and then we continue once more.

This is now the 2nd night in a row I've seen her and something out of the ordinary happened.

Another essay.

I would like to shift the focus of my dreams from introspection to action. I so often find myself just watching things in my dreams. And in recall, I am watching myself do the watching. I observe. I analyze. I philosophize. It's not wrong, but I'd prefer not to be so one-dimensional.

I suppose I am an analytical person and I catch myself indulging in the science of abstractions and modeling. One model is games. I see things through the lens of game theory, which is all about rules, strategies, and winning. Games are about choice of action. Game theory would suggest that the "right" choice is the one that wins. I have come to see that as a rather cynical kind of morality. Are there really rules? Are we all players striving to win or lose? Isn't it an illusion?

The other model is drama. Drama is also about choice of action. Drama suggests that the "right" choice is the one that either creates or resolves conflict. I have this twisted notion that there ought to be irony and there ought to be tragedy. This is another degenerate kind of morality. That one must put on a good show and there must be structure in the ascending and descending action, and that all characters must be classified as protagonist or antagonist. Must there always be conflict? Are we assigned roles? Isn't this another illusion?

I had chosen the word virtue as the theme of this chapter, but I think karma is equally apt. Karma means two things. It means "deed" in the sense that choices and actions that I make today will influence the future. But it also means "illusion" in the sense that the way we connect things -- the model of causality -- is entirely arbitrary. It's a system of rules. It's a script of a narrative. We create it in our mind as a way to give order to what we observe. But these abstractions do not necessarily exist.

I would like to engage more directly with karma in the moment rather than in analysis. For example, it is virtuous to be thankful. I often express my thankfulness toward others well after-the-fact, privately to myself. Noble? Maybe. I would rather train myself to say "Thank You" in the very moment rather than afterward. Same with courage and discipline. It is easy to reason afterward that I should have been courageous. But that is not acting courageously. I don't believe karma to be some kind of cosmic scorecard of rights and wrongs. But I do believe that action speaks louder than words.

That makes me think of the word lucidity. In the context of dreams, we have come to understand that word to mean "self-awareness." But in the plainest sense, lucidity really means "clear thinking." I want to focus more on that latter meaning. Yes, it is fun to realize that I am dreaming and that means I have a degree of freedom in the dreamworld. Having gained some experience with that, I would like to go a step further, and look at each lucid dream as an opportunity to "think clearly" and act in a way that I think is right, and not simply to indulge in abusing rules and creating conflict.

I don't believe in a God in the typical Western sense. But so much of my dreams lately have been about a more nuanced understanding of divinity. Maybe there is no old man with a white beard who will judge me and my actions. But I still sit in judgement of myself. Wisdom has taught me that there is righteous and there is self-righteous. Alone, I can't be sure which is which. I think the only way to test the difference is to act and interact with others. Through empathy, one can come to understand how we all think and feel about what is virtuous.

in my ld I did a reality check my hand went through the window
it just melted through it.
I started to fly into the night but awoke mid flight

As I've already said, it's been a disappointing Winter...cold and pretty uninspiring on the dream front, with fairly poor dream-recall, only 2 short lucids and generally drab dreams (some almost unfathomable.)

But on other fronts, it's been interesting. My discovery that I can sometimes meditate/fall asleep and conjure up images and schemas. But, even that comes and goes. I recently watched a Youtube vid of a guy called Koi Fresco (something fishy about him) and he recites "I'm awake" twice every hour.

I've often done the mantra thing, but with me, it's always been "I'm dreaming...it's a dream." So, I decided to try his method. For 4 days I diligently worked though that mantra at least 3 times every hour, aware of every bodily sensation and my surroundings. Nothing so far....zilch.

But, other things crop up. I've noticed an improvement in dream recall if I WBTB after watching one of David Eagleman's brain documentaries (it gets me thinking about the function of the brain maybe). But, more interestingly, on 2 occasions (one was just now) I've laid down for a while and maybe, when I start to drift, a vivid image starts to form.

It's always green (that's my preferred location, a meadow or a wood) I get the "rush" and my heart rate speeds up (I can control that...always been able to) but I find breathing difficult and I have to breath deeply and that's distracting. But again I managed to hold the image for quite a while before it gradually died away.

Of course, I need such an experience after a few hours sleep and a WBTB (so we're all told) and I'm alert and thinking so I had to get up and write this to get it out of my system. Then I'm back to bed (with maybe some melatonin...if it only helps me off to sleep that's something.)

Still trying.