Recent DJ Posts

May goals: 2/20 LDs

Got a bit sick of the low recall phase so decided to jolt the system with some bedtime supplements: 1 capsule of a Huperzine-A and ginko biloba combo, 1mg melatonin, and 1 Opti-Men multivitamin (my semi-regular bed-time and morning supplement).

Somewhere around 5-6 hours, this amazing sequence started:

+ on phone with (home buyer?) talking about "my neighborhood" how we love to walk there and its still centrally located, really loud jack-hammer sounds it's from the elevated train tracks they're building, that will take years so the noise will last a long time, walking through "management entrance" to home, wife is drying our old dog "L" from after a bath

The helmet guy: his racquetball locker with rqb racquest and his helmets. He wears helmets for everything because he's so extreme he'll launch himself head-first into walls in order to make the point. Outside on a driveway he dives head-first onto the ground? He gives a public service announcement about the proper use of helmets: if it gets cracked, don't use it, because it's not good any more.

On that driveway I notice a bar about waist-high on the left side, and I go there to do some "low" pull-ups. While I'm there I hear family friend PZ whom I've apparently married (?) talking with a friend at the front door of the house, even through they're about 20 feet away I hear the conversation clearly. PZ is talking about me and our (apparently unsuccessful) sex life together, "I even let him use (porn?), and still he doesn't (want to have sex?)". I think this is an embarassing conversation.

Then I'm walking through PZ's house. It's a mess. Piles of dishes are everywhere. I think while I'm (living here?) I should help out, so I think I'll do some dishes. I see PZ briefly walk by, carrying her daughter TZ who's toddler-age in the dream. I notice and think that PZ has amazingly beautiful brown eyes. TZ I just get a quick glimpse of, she has a short bowl-haircut. I'm stepping around all sorts of home-craft stuffed (sock?) cat-toys, they're everywhere on the ground. Each one of them as a sort of hat pulled down over its face, I lift some up to see the face?. PZ made them all as a craft project for TZ.

I'm outside, there is a concert (in an amphitheater?), there are some (commercial?) sponsors on the steps trying to modify the tempo that the orchestra is playing by waving his arms. The music is amazingly beautiful [don't recall the tune]. It is night and I'm lying there with 2 male friends listening to the concert, and I notice the beautiful night sky. I'm really excited about this and keep pointing up to the stars, "Look! Look!" I yell at my friends, they're not so into it.

Then down in front of us a kid starts crying, and one of the friends throws some small object like a stone to quiet him down. I'm holding a camera in my hand with a small microphone boom, and I say "that could be your darling child," thinking throwing stuff isn't going to help. Then I have a visualization of a piece of 8x11 paper with about 10-20 boxes drawn onto it and the name of some prescription ADHD medication like "Yanax" filled in to the box. My friends are prescribing a schedule of treatment for the crying kid on this paper.

I curse the stupid organizers of the concert for having such bright lights [this may have been the morning sun hitting my face IWL, timing is about right] that prevent us from seeing a clear view of the beautiful night sky. I wish they'd turn off those lights. And in a few seconds the lights go off! "Thank God!" I exclaim and I take the camera and point it at the starts and take a few pictures.

I notice something else: with the lights off, I can now see clearly into a hot girl's (bedroom?) across the street. Her room is a little-bit lit and now that it's dark where we are it's easy to see her inside. She seems mostly naked and I'm trying to make out the "good bits" but don't see any. She's frolicking around her room. Then she has a girl friend with her who looks like her also almost naked and they're wrestling around. Then I see a 3rd girl friend who's kind of chunky who's just lying on the floor with her butt facing the window.

Then the 3 girls are lying on the grass to my left about 15 feet away next to each other.

Spoiler for sexy time with some fairly bizarre gender-bending going on:

It seems the middle girl is actually "P", the clarinet player from HS band who was sort of nerdy but had a smoking hot body and great boobs. She's topless with panties on, and is reaching down and rubbing and flexing her vulva through the panties, I catch a glimpse of that marvelous wrack on her. Then her panties are gone and lo and behold it seems she's a she-male with a very thick fairly large (ahem). The cute girl friend on the right then leans over the middle he/she matter-of-factly like it was nothing odd, and she starts fellating the he-she. She's really good at it and is making slurping sounds and taking all that really thick member and bobbing up and down juicily on it.

I make my way over to them and am really excited. I come up to the one on the right and grab one of the boobs of the he-she and one of the cute girl on the right. I ask the girl on the right, "Can I worship you?". She sort of says "no" but I ignore this. I say to them "Suck each other's (ahem)s like you were just doing!" My bubble sort of bursts at this point as I get a closer look at them: they have patches of short thick black whiskers all over their bodies like men. They're faces are looking more manly by the second including the same patches of short black thick whiskers. The one on the left doesn't even have girl boobs and in fact looks entirely male. In fact they all look male except with "man boobs", and now are sort of he-females [what's the opposite of she-males?]: male upper body but with vaginas. It seems I'm goosing man-boobs now, and

I wake up.

WBTB
kind of hard to get back to sleep, very active mind. I find the discipline to do relaxation techniques and fall asleep again.

+ there is a girl who's boyfriend is abusing her. I come up to her and kiss her face, eyebrows, cheeck, lips (some pulling), I tell her "I want to help you." She says "you should get out of here because if the cops come and see you with a beat-up girl they'll arrest you."

Spoiler for slightly sexy time:

I get up and move in between her legs (she's wearing full-length stockings) and wonder if she'll mind me doing this as I move closer to her

<transition>
+ LD #184 I'm in an outdoor courtyard. There are groups of of people moving around. A petite blonde cute girl in a black top catches my attention as she walks across my vision from left to right to talk to a group there.

Spoiler for sexy time:

It gets confusing as I think that I'm imagining walking up to her and grabbing her boobs. But I can't tell if I'm imagining it or actually doing it, and if I'm doing it then I may get in trouble, I think her friends might tell me to leave her alone? But then I think, if I'm imagining it, I might as well imagine getting a BJ. So now she's leaning over in front of my zipper and I look down and see that I've neglected to whip it out, so I decide I should materialize my (ahem), and it appears and suddenfly the entire scene comes into super sharp focus and I'm lucid. It is a more-real-than-real visual situation [which I haven't seen in quite a while, amazing!]. I see the girl's face shining in the sun, super high resolution, I can even see the pores in her skin. Also, my (ahem) is super high resolution! [haha]. She is still leaning over in front of me and through momentum of my actions I just keep going with the BJ plan. She has a sort of wry smile on her face. I tell her "Well, get down to business!" and she does. She makes a single down/up stroke with her mouth which feels amazing, 30 more seconds of this and it's a lucid-gasm for sure. I'm thinking a bit about stabilization, and

the dream fades.

+ I'm walking my little baby boy, each of his hands in mine. We walk by a mother with her girl and my boy puts his hand in the girl's mouth. The mother asks me "are his hands clean?" I look at her like "it's a baby, what do you think?" and she says "Oh, his hands are probably yours" meaning she understands they're dirty. I tell my baby "you can't go sticking your hands in girls mouths!" I lay the baby down on its back and it is now sort of a super weird small cyclops baby thing with a single eye but I don't really notice this or care. I start tickling it and it starts almost convulsing from the sensation, the skin around its one eye crinkles up and the eye bulges out of its face, I keep on doing this because I want to make it smile.

Couldn't really be bothered writing this up but I guess I'll do >_<
It was my first night in my new flat, such a nice place to wake up in. Awesome view with the sun shining and there's Pukeko's in the yard

Dream
Something about being in a large building (almost like a temple) that has quite a few people in it. We've formed small groups of 2-3, something like a master and student thing going on. I remember there being 2 girls that liked me maybe? 1 girl was frustrated, she had brown hair and wore green clothes that let her leg, stomach and arms bare. She looked like a warrior, and wielded a double-sword/spear weapon. She stalked over with a frown on her face, I think it was because everyone was leaving so she wouldn't see me again, but she only just realized she liked me?

Next part I'm talking with a girl (could be the same girl, but I think she's blonde now) and we're a bit flirty. We're talking about arcade games, I'm saying that I love them and I used to play them all the time on my gameboy. But I said that I mostly only played Donkey Kong because it was so damn expensive for a game back then. She played in actual arcade places and had experience with a larger variety of games. She starts playing my donkey kong game and it's hard to explain what's happening.. I see her moving her character (Donkey Kong, duh) on the screen, it's 2D and Kong is jumping around dodging pizzas that spin at you. You have collect the other pizzas (that ones that aren't traps), it's a huge level, I don't remember it being this complex.

Semi-LD: I remember people were chasing me with syringes. I was semi Lucid so I did some minor dream interpretation on the spot. I was thinking it meant that I thought that people were always out to hurt me? Mistrust?

LD: This was interesting because I believe how I got lucid was a reaping of the awards of my new regular meditation practice. I got lucid because I was at my grandparents house and I remembered that I hadn't lived my grandparents for years. I give hightened self awareness the credit for that.

I was in an apocalypse, a land of only vehicles and zombies. It was civilized, but we all ran around on motorbikes running zombies down. A friend of mine orgainzed an event where we flood a parking garage with zombies and then run as many over as you can like a videogame. Michael scot and I left to go find greener pastures. The fuzz creeps in, and I awake.

Dream Signs
Michael Scott
Vehicles
Zombies
Videogames

[Semi Lucid Dream]

I was with Eye inside my hallway. We were sitting and I was looking at his face observing it. He was giving me the straight face like he was serious about something but lay back about it. It sort of looked like (눈↼ 눈) or (¬ ↼ ¬ ). He was wearing a sort of baggy dark blue sweater and had black hair this time. I picked up a small pink wrapped candy and threw it at his cheek. His face remained the same. "sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just being silly" I said to him. He than told me to fix my hair because it was sticking up towards the roof. I threw another candy at his face because I felt embarrassed but at the same time I was stubborn and told him I was not going to fix it. It was a dream anyways so why should I care?I than looked at my knees and they were covered in buttons. Making me feel more embarrassed. I pressed the buttons like I didn't care but than covered them. Eye was still making that face. (눈↼ 눈) I don't know why but I always liked looking at that face he makes. Maybe its because his silly side can be annoying at times.

Dream - Lucid

I was in bed with my coworker, K, at the house I grew up in. It was nighttime. We were kind of together, I think. She was wearing a grey underwear tanktop laced in purple with matching underwear. I was in my underwear too. I don't remember fooling around with her, but I remember wanting to and knowing we would.

~

I was at Publix in what appeared to be the bakery section, though in the dream, it was a pharmacy. I was there for medical marijuana. The pharmacist, a male, was on the phone and seemed distracted, so when he gave me a small orange pill bottle with some weed in it, I was surprised. I went to pay him and he wouldn't let me; he was giving it to me for free. No arguments here! I walked away. I started to feel like people might suspect me though for some reason. I felt like I needed to keep a low profile.

~

I was with some people, two women, one I remember for sure being a girl, Karla, that I recently reconnected with IWL (she was my friend when we were little kids). We were planning on going on a vacation to the beach for a few days. We planned it very last minute, like maybe the day we decided to leave.

We were then at the hotel. Karla left for some reason though. I was then with my mom and I assume my daughter was there too as I was asking my mom about which bathing suit she packed for her. I asked if she packed the 12 month of 18 month one. She said 18 month. I was hoping she brought the other, but I told her that was fine.

We then noticed it was turning into evening and it started to rain. I didn't care, I still wanted to walk on the beach anyway; we only had a few days there and I wanted to make the most of them.

Then there was this very strange, misplaced part. We were in some sort of loft. Thinking back now the closest thing I can think of to compare it to is a barn loft. The floors were wooden and falling apart. There was a little boy with us who reminds me now of my nephew G. He fell through the floor. I grabbed his hand but he kept slipping anyway. I called for help; I needed someone to either help me pull or go down there and catch him. He slipped, and I was so worried the fall would seriously injure or kill him, but he landed on his feet, albeit hard, and he didn't cry.

We had to go back home for something. We were in my mom's car. It was a very long drive, 12-13 hours, but we were there and back so fast. I was trying to remember the entirety of the drive, but I couldn't. I was amazed at how fast the time passed. I also was thinking about which car Karla had taken to get home since we had driven up there together in my car.

When we got back, I told my mom of the plan I had originally had and wanted to stick to: I wanted to spend one day of the vacation in either Disney World or Universal Studios. At first my mom wasn't so keen but I insisted, as this was MY vacation and my mom was now just there because Karla had left. My dad was there too I believe, but I don't remember ever seeing him or talking to him directly. I knew he'd be on board for a theme park visit.

I was playing board games in a cafe with friends. I know some of them I think. There was one person who I asked out but declined.

I was in Rizal Park. Lost? Water area.

I kept forgetting something on my way to the airport. Eventually, it was evening, and my flight was that noon, not midnight, so I missed it. My sister was there. I told her I'll just get a ticket to travel this weekend.

I was in a game. I was on higher ground. I need to get to another platform but there was a considerable gap. My niece was able to get across it (not sure how since she did it out of view), but it seems impossible. I looked for another way.

The mood was gloomy, sad, dejected.

This dream was a mixture of first-person and third-person perspectives. As such, i found it better to just write it down in third-person as if it's a story.

The first part took place at my house.
A guy befriended a girl and they had a close relationship. She had some form of sealed power that if un-sealed would make her kill him. After the seal broke, she got far away from him and told him that she would end up killing him if he got near her again. Still, he insisted and tried to stay close to her as much as he could.

The guy followed her to an area near a convenience store along some small shops. It was at night, raining and you could hear a loud thunder sound in the skies. He reached out to hold her left hand and stop her, but she shoved his hand away and continued walking in silence. She didn't look his way while walking. He saw amongst the people walking nearby, the gothic-loli character from the "gate" anime series.

In any case, he stood there in shock and shortly fell on his back, now starting at the sky and hearing the people walking nearby laugh at him. Afterwards, there was a girl of relative young age who patted him on his head and said "cute".

Then, he was attacked by a group of three men. Two were standing in front of him while the third was holding him from behind, like those scenes in some tv shows. The guy was filled with anger and broke free from the one grabbing him and said "screw you all!". Fighting ensued and while the three used fire as a weapon, the guy was able to take two of them down with their fire. Fighting with the last one, he was very close to being caught on fire, so he asked an old man in one of those shops nearby to point a water hose at him. Finally, it ended with his victory against the three thugs.

The girl that walked away was not seen again..

I am walking down a driveway and hear a man talking about the benefits of meditation - how it builds the power of 'analytical awareness' to super high levels, through stages. I think that his description sounds a bit like the analytical parts of vipassana. I then think about Zazen and consider this might be better for awareness I make my way to the street and toward a main road and it hits me: I'm dreaming! I instantly fly up above the road and soak in the realism of the dream scene. The trees, street, and cars, are all very vivid and realistic and I feel that I have solid mental presence in the dream.I look backwards toward a black car coming down the road with a female driver - she smiles up at me as she slow, seemingly amused by me flying. I fly backwards and extend my limbs. I then turn around, continue flying and consider some dream goals. I'm super happy and can't believe how vivid and stable this lucid feels. I look way down the road and see the road stretching out for miles into the far distance, massive green trees standing on either side. Cars make their way to what appears to be a coastline with several houses with light red roofs adjacent to the coast. Tree branches a few stories high partially block the view. I think back to one of my dream goals of visiting a 'Heaven Realm' and receiving an important teaching. I decide against it, and reason that this feels enough like a heaven realm. I then decide to shout to the dream for more clarity and focus to see what happens - the dream doesn't alter at all. I consider how stable it is then tell the dream authoritatively that it's going to last for an hour, feeling determined. I make my way down the road continuing toward the coast, and see a massive oak tree several stories tall with branches coming over the road. I head inside of the canopy and am amazed by the network of thick branches and begin to feel the incredibly realistic, gritty texture. I consider making a portal to my goal in one of the branches, but decide to head down the tree, and toward the lake at the base. I fly down bit by bit, feeling each branch then stop a few seconds on one branch. I suddenly think that I shouldn't stop too long or it may become unstable. The dream begins to fade a bit. I enter a void an resolve to stay in it, aware, as long as possible until a new dream forms. I have a short FA before the next dream.

Me Hannah, Jacko and some other person was in some bedroom, that person I didn't really known, ended up in another dimension and I wondered how I could get there, like running across the walls like there is no gravity, it partly worked but something was missing so I stopped, and seen some type of teleported so as I got up to it, I put my finger on the green button and I teleport! I'm back in the same room and I feel like I've done this before. Hannah and Jack suddenly get here, I realise that we are all asleep since we can into here, I noticed how it felt weird to be awake in a dream, it felt like wasn't asleep at all. I was assuming to myself whether it was a lucid dream or not then Hannah asked if I have been practising lucid dreaming, I thought about it for a second and said no because I kinda got embarrassed. To test that it was a lucid I tried to do some dream control, I knew that it probably wouldn't of worked on the first to but I done it anyway, I seen the bear put my hands out and imagined that it will start floating up, it started floating up! I threw the bear at the door and thought I should probably get make it stay in the air and bring it back to myself. It never happened. I decided that I wanted to try and fly, I literally just doing the dimming stroke and I am up on the air. I hear Hannah's mum outside the door ( in the dream) and I don't want to wake up.

Lucid dream?or dream about lucid dreaming?

Dream

I was in school, it was a lesson with our new teacher - a blonde woman in her thirties, with rather ugly face and short hair. Before the lesson started, some people were making jokes on one girl. Then teacher entered the classroom. One dude was whistling, just like a bird singing, even better than me. I turned teacher's attention to him, she gave him a surprised look.

Fragments

I recall fragments in which I was in my house, washing hands and eating some soup.

Bed: ~00.00
Wake up: 08.15
Now: 08.30

Travel
I'm in Indonesia, together with my girlfriend. We're travelling around the country. I think that at the start of the dream we are in Sulawesi and we're deciding on our next flight. I think I'm alone at some times. The details are a bit blurry, but I've missed a flight that I had already booked to Singapore. Ah well. At one moment we are walking around in the streets, which are sand-covered. In another moment we seem to be at the airport.

This dream also alternates with a bird's eye view of several places. I see the very south-west part of Java, at the coast. There's a section where there's a relatively thin line of sand, with water at both sides. It looks like a great place to go. In another moment I also see Singapore, though not where it's supposed to be. There's another country attached to it's eastern border, which is only a bit bigger. I'm considering flying to Singapore and then travelling to this country by land. I could make this trip in 4 days, 2 days per country. I think the other name was similar to India. I'm not sure what I would do in that country though, I'm not even really interested in it. I'm also considering the amount of days I have left before university supposedly starts.

Game
I'm playing a game with Justin, my cousin's boyfriend. It's a game we seem to control through our phones, but which takes place in reality at some points. It's a game where we're both controlling soldiers, or opposing units at least. I think at one point he's controlling a big cat like animal which is pretty much invincible. He's trash talking the hell out of me. The style of the game is quite cartoony, like Big Little War Game. A few times I take control over some soldiers who have a gatling gun. I manage to take out a few of his soldiers every time before mine get taken down, yet he's still trash talking me and making me feel like I suck.


Work
I'm at a fancy work place. I'm not sure whether I work here though. The place looks very modern, mostly clean white. The people that I do recall seeing are dressed in suits and similar attire. There are two white women walking just at the top of the stairs/escalator. One of them is a bride and the other seems to be her friend. The bride is not wearing anything bride-like though. I quickly go up the stairs. There's one corner to the left in the stairs where I decide to jump on the cylinder shaped grey railing. I jump on it, jump to another part and then continue my way to the top. I wanted to get there quickly cause I thought the bride looked really beautiful and wanted to see her better. Once I'm a bit closer I realise that her friend is actually way prettier. I walk past them inconspicuously. Once I'm past them I decide on another approach. I rewind time a bit and then decide to freeze it. It places me just in front of them and allows me to take a close look at the woman's face. Time is not totally frozen though, it's just in slow motion. The woman is still moving a bit. I decide to fake that I wasn't spending any attention on them. I'm walking with my classmate Wil towards a narrow gallery, with the women walking in the same direction. One of them says something of which I'm not sure whether it was a joke or not. She says we're stalking them. Nope! We got here first. Now we're pretending(?) we had a bet going on and I just won it. I get all excited about my win. I'm thinking up the narrative on the spot. This could be our yearly bet that I have just won, explaining my excitement.


Fragments
» There was a party today or yesterday. My cousin didn't show up, even though I thought he would. I'm quite disappointed, cause I was looking forward to seeing him.

» I'm at the apartment complex where my mom lives, at the ground level. I enter through the door at normal pace, but make a sharp move several metres to the left, taking a big ball with me using my feet. There's someone waiting for the elevator who by now must think I'm avoiding him. I go to the storage units (which aren't like reality), which creep me out a little bit in this dream. My mom's unit is on the opposite side of where it's supposed to be. Also, the lock is totally different. There's a guy (Koen?) inside. I don't think he's there against his will, but still I'm a bit iffy of the whole situation. A few units to the left is a grown tiger.

I haven't been posting to my dream journal lately because I've been so busy and stressed out, but I'm going to try to resume. As a result of the craziness of the last month or so, I also stopped trying to lucid dream, but I did think about it often and perform a few reality checks. I had no time to, and I'd also given up on the technique I'd been trying, because every guided meditation I used either was nice but wouldn't put me to sleep, or put me to sleep and did nothing but cause more vivid dreams. Nothing close to lucidity. I'd begun to think I'd never achieve lucidity and maybe there was something wrong with me or I wasn't doing the meditations right. Anyways, I had a dream last night that I believe might have been a lucid dream.

I was at a school, walking around during after school hours when most of the teachers had already left. I wandered into a classroom where my brother's kindergarten teacher was grading papers at one of the students' desks. I walked over to her desk and looked at a paper, which had a list of names on it in a few colors. I have forgotten what they were, but I could read them clearly, and said to myself, "if I was dreaming, could I read this? I thought you couldn't read in dreams."
I decided I'd look away and see if the words changed, because I knew that they do that in dreams. I looked over at the teacher, who was still grading papers, and then looked back at the paper on the desk, and surprisingly, the words had changed.
At this point I said to myself calmly, "I'm dreaming."
Suddenly everything became very real and clear, and it felt like I truly was standing in that classroom. It was mind blowing. I was struggling not to get excited, so I rubbed my hands together, which I've heard helps, and stabilized the dream somewhat.
Then, I attempted to fly, which was probably not a good thing to attempt during my very first lucid dream. I had not expected to lucid dream last night nor had I figured out what I'd do if I achived lucidity, so I did the first thing that popped into my mind. I imagined myself as being lighter than air, and then stood on my tiptoes, lifting one leg up and pushing off the ground gently with the other. I floated up into the air slowly, and at this point I became so excited I either woke up or the dream ended, I can't remember which.

Was this a lucid dream? I'm just not sure.

Dream 1 - Bus Fight
I remember being in the village where I live and I was on the bus with some friends. There was some kind of dickhead who was being a dick to a friend of mine, he wasn't on the bus so my friend got off and started walking to a better place to fight. The bus I was on followed them, the guy driving was a pasty white guy with glasses. We turned up at a grassy every enclosed by trees, my friend (Daniel) is fighting the other guy (who is now Johnny). Dan is a Tae Kwon Do black belt in real life, and Johnny (in my dream at least) was super buff. The bus driver steps out and is now a big black super buff guy now. He knows that a fight is unavoidable, so he smacks the two fighting and gets their attention. He says "kicks allowed only to the neck and below", asserting himself as the judge. Dan immediately launches a low kick to Johnny's knee which cracks. Johnny lets slip a yelp of pain and steps back. He's a big guy and decides he should just charge at Dan. Dan, being the comical guy he is (IRL) scuttles back super quickly while squeeling loudly, poking his tongue out and doing jazz hands. Johnny doesn't want to look 'silly' in the fight so he doesn't chase too much. I can't remember what happens next.

Dream 2 - Death
I recall heading out somewhere with some friends, but I hadn't had any lunch yet. The area was suburban with nice green scenery, it reminded me of Dunedin a bit. We were walking up a slope and I figured I'd ditch, I wanted to head home and eat and it looked like we weren't going to eat for a while if I stayed. I headed off back towards the house we came from at a jogging pace.

I'm back at the house now but we're leaving in a car (me and a friend). He starts reversing but isn't paying attention, he goes too far and I start freaking out because there's a cliff behind us. "Dude, stop! Look out!" I say, he doesn't stop in time, I feel the car lurch as it slides back over the edge. Nonononononononoonononoononononoo.
The sheer fear and panic that rose in me was enough to jump my heart to my throat, I knew it was over and that I would die. The car slipped over and started plummeting and I could see the ground racing towards me. Right before impact I woke up in a panic, it had felt TOO real.

That dream was a bit of a reflection of me having just learnt how to drive and also the experience I had during rock climbing 2 days ago.

I am at work, all the lights are out. I'm standing in front of the paint desk when I start to feel faint and I fall first to my knees, then back on my heels. I tell someone that I don't feel well, and all they can say is "Yeah, your face looks strange." Then they move away without any further concern.
I knock on the door of Red's duplex, I have never been to such a place. He opens the door and I sway, again feeling faint. I ask if I can come in and he allows it, I said I didn't want to drive back home like this and ask if I can sleep here. He says it's fine if I don't mind sharing the bed.
We stand in the living room, behind him is the bedroom. I have such trouble keeping my eyes open, and when I do manage it, I can't lift my eyes to his face.
Only so far as his chest. My breath becomes uneven and sadness creeps over me, swaying on my feet. I want him to comfort me, I feel so strange, and know that if he just let me lean on him I'd feel much better. He leaves the room and I black out.
I awake in bed with his puppy laying on my chest. He leaves the room, and sleep paralysis settles over me in the dream (is it weird to have a dream that you're having sleep paralysis?)
The puppy and I are not alone, though. Something grips my hands beneath the covers and I can't quite withdraw them. This happens three or four more times, one time the puppy growls at the spirit hiding under the covers and gripping my hands. The ghost huddles close to me, delighting in my immobility.
I manage to break my paralysis, but when I try to tell Red about it, he says it isn't possible. I say that the puppy was growling and he counters that she never does that without reason. I try to rile the spirit and make the puppy growl again so that he might believe me.

Something about being on a camping trip and zipping up the tiny personal tent around me. o.O