Recent DJ Posts

5/1/16
Dream 1: My brother was playing some sort of lord of the rings game, finding all sorts of easter eggs, floating up in the sky to a library with paintings on the walls as well.

Dream 2: I was playing basketball in the NBA against an all star team, I caused a stalemate with their best player, who looked like kevin love but with longer hair.

I'm finally back. My daughter had to have her baby early due to her gestational diabetes which occurs in some women during pregnancy but goes away afterwards & the baby had a low amount of fluid around her. Both are doing just fine but this did cause me to be off of here for the first time ever. I had not missed one day of logging but oh well. I continued my time off because my husband had to take all 3 weeks of his vacation that was left which meant I needed to take time off to spend it w/ him. I also had to deal w/ parents who came into town after I had to host Christmas. I'm actually exhausted after the holidays & am glad it's over. I now have a hole where my pinky finger meets my hand that you could put a pencil eraser in. I got a cut & it got infected & it finally started to drain which is gross, painful & annoying. But I'm back anyway. I'll log an actual dream tomorrow, lol.

I had a bunch of humdrum dreams last night. I told myself I wasn't even going to attempt the ToTM because I didn't get to sleep until 6AM and I had to be awake by noon. LD disrupts my sleep way too much so I've not even bothered trying for years.

The only dream that stands out from last night was yelling at my husband. We were in a hotel room with an adjoining room that some other family was using. A little kid was being extremely disruptive. He was banging on the walls and floor, screaming, crying etc. Hubby had enough. He stormed into the room and I could hear him whooping the kids butt. When hubby returned, I laid into him saying he assaulted someone's kid and it wasn't his place to lay a hand on the boy no matter how bad the boy was. I was furious.

And then I practically jumped out of bed because I thought it was 5:30PM It was only 1:30. I still slept through my alarm but not by too much

I also had my standard zombie and base buildings dreams (inspired by 7 Days 2 Die which I play wayyy too friggin much).

5-Jan-2017 - FLD:fight + WILD: Alice Pt I

FLD: I know it's a dream. I am punching people, throwing them against walls, it's a group that has / was going to do something bad; poor recall

WILD#1: (6:15 AM, ~20 min)
I start at the tower. Going to the trophy wall, I notice a painting I have never seen before. I understand the dream is already stable enough. I look at the details of the picture, it shows a river on the right, meandering through some lushy green hills, disappearing in the distance. On the left side, more hills and mountains. When I am satisfied, I move to the portal. The portal shows a dark forest; I look at it a bit, then enter it.

I am inside a forest; it's night and everything is very dark, though I can still see something. I walk around it a bit, nothing special happens. The forest ends on a big sunflowers field; it's day now. I walk among the sunflowers.

Then I think it would be nice walking in the painting I completed two days ago (Olanda - Netherlands) I summon the colored fields, I am in there. However, when I try to move around, the environment is bi-dimensional only. I can reach with my arm the far end of the painting. I can reach the windmill in the background. I attempt imagining myself in a normal 3D environment, but it just doesn't work (as an afterthough, this was totally interesting, and I should have explore more thoroughly), so I summon the sunflowers field again.

I walk among the yellow flowers again. I reach a small empty house; I enter; it's got white walls. However, roof is destroyed, and some walls are charred, like from a fire. I would like to go on with the Alice theme, so I imagine finding the rabbit hole
I walk around a wall, and there is a black hole in the wall. I slide down it, everything becomes pitch black
After some sliding down sensation and more black, I see some brown light in front of me, then I am inside a small room with dirt walls

In front of me, a big wooden door with a cartoonish looking knob. It looks very much like Disney version of it. I chat with it, asking what's behind it, it won't tell me. Its way of talking is a bit arrogant. When I try to peek through the keyhole, I only see black. The doorknob insults me, telling me it's obvious, I was looking inside its stomach ! (LOL )

I ask the door if it will accept payment to let me through, it answers yes, but know I don't know what to give it
I end up summoning a dollar bill, rolling it cylinder-like, and showing it to the doorknob, which says it will do. I put it inside its keyhole / mouth. The door opens.

Beyond the door, a wonderful environment, with many colored flowers, plants, and giant mushrooms. A path in the middle, disappearing behind some plants
Looking back, the door is closing, and I notice the back of the door has the "twin" of the knob

I walk the pathway, the scenery is fantastic, very dream-like - which could seem obvious, but it's not: in my dreams this is absolutely uncommon, as they invariably feature mundane environments
I know I don't have much time till 6:45 alarm, so I jump on one of the big mushrooms, recalling this was a required task
From its top, I look further at this beautiful place, then I wake up

3-Jan-2017 - WILD: Almost-tea with the Mad Hatter

WILD#1: From the portal I reach a long table, covered with candlesticks and a lot of kitchen-ware
Dream is not stable, scenery keeps changing, and I need to take the dream back at this place many times
At one point, the Mad Hatter appears, looking very much like the cartoon, with a tall and skewed hat, showing a big smile and looking crazy enough
I pick up the tea cup, want to drink but cannot manage to do it

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4-Jan-2017 - 3 ND + 1 DILD - ND#1: PPP - ND#2: Ugly video -> DILD: Dragon hero - ND#3: Comics about race car driver

ND#1: A mix of stuff that has to do with PPP: Painting (doing it these days), swimming Pool (took my son there), Pilot (race car, playing DRIFT these days), my kids want me to go faster

ND#2: I am at PC, looking at an ugly video, my wife comes in, I try to close by X, it doesn't work (!)
Note: happened in another ND few days ago
This time I push it further, shutting the monitor off, video stays on (!!)
I power off the PC, then unplug it, but the video stays on (!!!)
I realize this does not make any sense, the only possibility is that I am dreaming. I become lucid without the need for an RC

DILD: est. duration 15 min
First thing I do is going to the dining room and phasing through the door, then on the balcony I jump up, fly and transform into a dragon. Transformation does not bring special physical sensations, but I look at my arms and they are dragon wings
I think about dv TotY / Dragon (I make a mistake here, as task is about riding a dragon, not being one)

I fly above a town, then reach a castle. I become human again, talk with people, learn there is a war going on and agree to help them by becoming a dragon and attacking their enemies.
The people call a sort of city council, many people crowd the palace, I am presented like the hero that will help them win this war. At the apex of the presentation, I approach a balcony of the tower, jump off and transform into a dragon again.
After some fun flying, I am approached by two more smaller dragons, and engage in some training with them.

I try different fire breath abilities: first, I use a normal fire breath. Second, I shoot some quick fireballs. Third, I breath hot air out of my nostrils, then set this air up in flames through a fire breath, making a huge fire cloud in the air. (thinking about it now, it's awesome !)
Then I focus on the task again and head to the enemy castle. However, when I reach it, dream quickly fades.

ND#3: I am with R, my son, my dad and my wife's dad; we're under a vault (english?) with columns. There is a modern, low shelf with square sections, housing several numbers / editions of a comic book about a local race car driver. I am able to pick one, and look at the cover, which is totally stable. I can read his name very clearly, look at the drawings, without anything changing or acting strange. I put the comic book back, some more discussion about this guy, then no more recall

1-Jan-2017 - No recall

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2-Jan-2017 - ND: 3D chart - WILD#1: Engine-less car race - WILD#2/OBE - FLD: The morphing beast

ND#1: I am at office (!!!), helping LS (!) to build a 3D chart. It's actually 3D, not on the monitor (!!)
Suggestions I provide include: reinforcing sheet's edges with some pleated folds, or changing the chart to a 2D one, he doesn't take any of the suggestions. Then I discuss with V / more people, about re-layouts

WILD#1: I reach a racing track, with many cars at their starting positions. Thinking about dv TotY, I approach one car, open the hood, take the engine with both hands, pick it up and throw it away. For good meeasure, I also remove the exhaust pipe, and throw it away, too
I sit in the car, turn the key, it makes no sound, but using the pedals make it move anyway. I pass a car on its right, and I hear the other car's engine at my left, moving from front to back; it's very convincing.
I go on with the car race, follow some curves, pass more cars, but I don't recall completing the race

WILD#2: I try focusing LC57 Alice tasks, but I cannot. I recall many short, overlapping scenes, I do many things, even though very poor recall, but cannot materialize a proper LD.
At one time, my hands catch my attention. I feel them pulsing rythmically, left, right, left, right. I focus and observe this sensation with curiosity. Then this pulsation is spread throughout all my body, which shakes. I understand I can try to exit

OBE: I get up, reach a corridor with yellow walls. However, I am pushed back into my body, on the bed, and I cannot exit again
<JUMP>
FLD: I am on a cruise ship, which stops in high sea. We disembark the ship, and swim in the sea
I am staying together with two more guys I know (I don't recognize them), one of them, let's call him Joe, swims away a bit, and reach a small island with a dirt / stone structure. We tell him it can be dangerous, he doesn't care and enter it. We partially see what he does inside, then disappears behind a wall, but he keeps telling us what he founds. Then he shows us from the window a leather belt with an old knife and an old axe
Suddenly, iron bars lock all windows, and he's trapped inside. He manage to find an opening on top of one of the windows, and exits the structure

Joe has taken with him a strange ugly beast, which looks partially like a huge crustacean. We alert him that thing could be dangerous, he says he's sure this is not the case
We observe the beast closely, monitor it, then measure it with the help of a chalk, it keeps growing, shrinking, changing shape

We reach a residential road, we still want to get rid of this beast, Joe wants to keep it. It now looks like a monkey, but with big yellow front teeth, and stays on his shoulder

I marked this as FLD because I partially know this is a dream. I even think this could be valid for some LC57 task, but this is not the case

31-Dec-2016 - WILD - Walk in the enchanted forest

WILD: From a portal I reach a forest. The trees are very tall, they have very few leaves, all packed at the top. The trunks are smooth-ish, wide, slightly conic (akin baobabs) and show with many light-blue specks, which glow in the dark (it's night)
After walking some time in there, a tall humanoid alien walks by to my right. It's got blue skin, black hair braids (Avatar-like)
I stop it, it's a female, her name is Athala. I ask her to ride me on her shoulders, which she does without any problem. The sight is nice from up there. We walk some more, we perform some kind of "activity", then no more recall.

I am being driven around in a pink car by a woman I do not recognize from WL. She is an attractive MILF. There are hills around us, resembling the hills you see around Moreno Valley in southern California. There are distant houses nestled in the hills. I am cognizant of being married to my wife in the dream, but I work with this lady and this is the final time we will be together. We are headed to a party.

I feel uneasy, knowing my wife would not approve of me being alone in a car with this lady. In the dream, I imagine my wife pulling up beside us at a light in her minivan and looking over to see me with her (note: this didn't actually happen in the dream, it was visualized within the dream). I figure this would be extremely awkward, and I'd have some serious explaining to do! Or would I be able to slip down to hide on the floorboard before she saw me? These were the options I pondered within the visualization. After I snap back into the reality of the dream, I notice there is a child in the backseat of the car. And at that point I realize this woman does not respect me. Nor do I respect her. Most of all, I do not respect myself in this dream.

I begin to feel sad. There is lots of room to stretch my legs out in her car; it is very spacious for a convertible. As she drives me around, I grow more and more pensive. I experience a great withdrawal, and a sense of failure and doom. A betrayal of my marriage vows, even though the woman and I never touch. The most predominant emotion, however, is abject loneliness. I feel so utterly lonely in the dream. I think about my kids and how much I miss them. Dreamt 12/16/2016

I entered my barn and saw some hens with little chickens lying on they hay. Most of them were dead or very weak. There was some strange sickness spreading around.

My longest lucid dream yet! It was so long and stable that I tried meditating and it was weird to say the least. It made the dream a bit more vivid for some reason. So much happened but one of the highlights of the dream was me using telekinesis to fight and blow up two alien spaceship things. Gosh the dream was so stable I was repeatedly testing my ability to summon a dream character. Couldn't find her. Maybe next time.

Morning of January 5, 2017. Thursday.



My wife and family and I are living back on Gellibrand Street in Clayfield. When the mail goes, there are several items. I firstly focus on a large package.

The package turns out to contain a book we did not order or expect to get, possibly because of being members of a book-of-the-month club. It is a very large and thick book with shiny gilded pages with the title of “Return of the Fairy Tale”. It seemingly includes fairy tales as well as poems and folk tales. I read one poem as our youngest daughter listens (though I cannot recall its content). I am not sure if we should keep the book as I seem to remember that Zsuzsanna has an older edition of the same book. We look for it and it is found near the bottom of her wardrobe. I ask her if we should keep the new edition we just received and it seems that we will. The older edition has a slightly different cover but is about the same size.

After this, I go onto our porch to look at our other mail. There are two postcards from Margaret. In one, she starts off by talking about seeing her “pale face” looking back at her (from a mirror I assume). She writes that she is sorry to hear about my sister (Marilyn).

Apparently, I had also written to a man in India of whom I had not written to in over twenty years. I had asked him about his address (which makes no sense because if I did not know his address he likely would not have gotten my letter). On his postcard, in somewhat sloppy handwriting, he only writes:

“I do not remember my other address. I would like a comfy.”

I am not sure what he means by “comfy”; if he means a footrest or some sort of apparel. (In real life years ago he had asked me to send him auto repair books and I did not have any.)

I also notice a couple loose letters which are older love letters from Zsuzsanna though I am puzzled as to why they are with the recent mail. One letter includes a couple drawings. I had been sitting on the left end of the couch on the porch (liminal space) during this last segment.

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• The fifteen rupee tiger stamp is a sublimated coalescence prompt (as a tiger can swallow the dream self back into full consciousness) and additionally, mail usually symbolizes communication between the dream self and either the conscious self identity or the collective unconscious. Even so, and even containing the same dreaming and waking metaphors (and overall meaning) since earliest childhood, this dream’s rendering is unique.
• Regardless of the nature of the book, a book usually links to conscious self identity (and critical thinking skills that are not wholly feasible in non-lucid dreams). Gilded pages relate to dawning awareness and sentience (as sunbeams coming in through a bedroom window).
• The other book being in the wardrobe is a dream sign, as Zsuzsanna gets clothes from her wardrobe shortly after waking.
• Most dreams, when waking prompts are not more direct or jolting, are to subliminally inform the dreamer to wake as in this case. This same “call to waking” (waking transition with waking metaphors) can be seen in tens of thousands of my dreams documented and studied over fifty years, and in very specific layered (redundant) ways (and often “no-brainers” that I easily grasped as a child).
• Even “comfy” can be considered a dream sign, as it can refer to pillows and being in bed.
• Even the line about not remembering the other address is a direct reference to the amnesic nature of the personified subconscious (dream self).

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1. It's nighttime and I am standing in a field of grass. In front of me there is a group of small houses, and in 3 of these houses all of the lights are on. It's so dark that I can barely see anything else, and the moon is absent. After a few more moments of just standing in place I start to feel a creepy vibe, like I'm being watched. I feel as though someone or something will be coming after me soon. I turn around and am about to get on my motorcycle, but I can't find my helmet. After feeling around for a few seconds I finally feel my helmet. As I look at it I realize that it is literally so dark that I can only see the outline of it. I put my helmet on and get on my bike.
My gut instinct is getting stronger regarding the feeling that someone is coming after me. I start up my bike and start going forward. Just then a red truck comes from behind me and is now coming at me at full speed. The headlights on this truck are blinding, and I instantly turn back around and pull the throttle. My bike is now speeding up and reaching full speed, but ahead of me I see dangerous obstacles. All around in the field in front of me I can see large pieces of elongated metal, and I realize that if I fuck up it's going to be bad. With no other choice I keep going, now weaving through the field of metal. The truck is still close behind me, but it's getting closer. Suddenly I notice a really large piece of metal only feet in front of me. "There's no way I'm going to get over that" I think to myself. Seconds later I hit the metal and fly off of my bike and into the air.
Now I am in 3rd person perspective. I see myself faceplant into the ground, followed by the truck flying over me and getting completely totaled as it rolls and slams into more metal that I had somehow avoided. A brief period of confusion overcomes me, and I suddenly find myself on the road next to where I had just crashed. There's a loud noise in the distance, and it's growing even louder every second I stand still. I look up into the sky and see 3 or so fighter jets approaching my area. A random male voice tells me "Get out of the area now!". The ground suddenly becomes lit up with red circular lights and I quickly realize that this is the targets of the jets.
The noise of the jets is now incredibly loud and still growing. I start running away. In front of me the road ends and gives way to a cliff. Past this cliff is an enormous city. Bigger than any city I have ever seen before. On top of that the city is the 2nd most futuristic of its kind that I have ever seen; but still more futuristic than the city in Total Recall. I look up once more and see the jets fire missiles towards the area which I still have not fully evaded. I am now fully sprinting. Moments later, just as I jump off the edge, the missiles hit. I successfully escape the present danger, but now am faced with a new one. Now I am free falling, with nothing to save me. As I look at the city I realize how far I must be falling. I have now been falling for 30 or so seconds and still am no where near the ground. If I were to take a guess on how much longer I would be falling, I would guess it would be another 10 minutes at least.
At the bottom, on the ground, I could see extremely busy roads filled with technology I could have never even imagined before. Even now, I cannot explain it as there was endless amounts of detail. Looking forward I saw what looked to be the main area of the city. I see many skyscrapers that make waking life skyscrapers look like ants. These buildings were so enormous in size, unlike anything I have ever seen before. Meanwhile, I am still falling. I hear a voice in my ear, "Activate gliding sequence" and suddenly, large black wings are ejected out of my sides. I am now no longer falling, but rather gliding. I go towards the heart of the city and am now flying past robotic things and flying ships as well as much much more. It was all so much to take in.

This dream is interesting because it came sometime after the last dream in this journal. I was prowling through the darkness and felt primitive, like Tarzan. I was not lucid, but there was a depth and reality to the dream beyond normal. Across a field I can sense people coming and I am afraid of being caught. I go across a small ditch and climb over a fence. A small girl is pursuing me. She is wearing a school girl outfit with the skirt. She is not running, just clearly following me. I hide between a building and a fence and hold the gate I just went through closed. A man comes out on the other side of the gate and talks to the girl. I sense that he is telling her he did not see me. I can see through gaps in the fence. The little girl comes up to the gate (she looks very much like the girl in the last dream, but non-lucid I do not know what this means.) She laughs and says she can see me. I am afraid. She says I am not hidden at all. Her hand comes through the fence and rests on my neck. I panic and attack her. I am now on her side of the fence. I grab her ankles and cause her to fall in the mud. I am now holding her down in anger. the shocking unreality of me ever harming a child is like a lucid bringing RC. This cannot be real. It is a dream. I am lucid. Oh shit! I am attacking the girl from the last dream. Bad Eric! OMG! No! I wake up.

This dream started in classic DILD fashion. I entered aroom and saw objects there that did not make sense. They should have been in another room and looked as if they were sort of disassembled. I don't remember any RC, I just knew it made no sense, so I must be dreaming. I spent perhaps 10 minutes doing various fun things like practicing levitation skills. I decided to practice summoning DCs and then causing them to act as I wanted. I decided to look for pretty girls who would appear as I changed scenes by flying. After I found a pretty girl I would exert will to cause the DC to take her shirt off. Then I would see how quickly I could repeat this task chain. I was actually not being a pervert, but this task just seemed a fun challenge.
I was doing great, very rapidly completing the challenge and repeating, each time a new setting and DC. On about the 3rd or 4th time something weird happened. I approached a small group of people. I saw a younger girl in a school girl outfit. Nope. No way. I caused her to age in front of me until she was adult. I tried to use will to cause her to remove her shirt. She reacted like I was attacking her and shied away. I got a weird feeling as if I was suddenly in an astral type setting rather then alone in my mind. I said something like "please don't worry. I would not make you do anything you don't want to. I will leave you alone." I then flew up into the air to demonstrate that I meant what I said. The whole group flew up into the air in pursuit of me.
They started taunting me. I could tell (if you want to believe in such stuff) that these where not DCs but more like what ever my Dream Guides are. Perhaps this is now an astral world? They said things like how does it feel to have things you don't want done, done to you? After each comment like this I would get hit with something like a petronis from Harry Potter that they were projecting at me. One of them said something like, "that doesn't feel good, does it?" I responded, "No, it is definitely unpleasant, but this is stupid and I will not run from you any more." I then landed on a roof top. They were no where in sight.
I was feeling defiant because I have a long history with astral entities pushing me around when ever my actions turn sexual. Can you really blame them? Assume that somehow I have achieved a level of dreaming that allows me to go to astral realms (or laugh it off if such things are to far out there) and sometimes I go there with out realizing it. I then act out as if I own the world. However, this time I got mad. I addressed no in particular, sort of like screaming at God from a mountain top. I said something like this. "I want yo all to understand this! To me much of this is confusing because I a dreaming from a physical body somewhere else. I am subject to the drives associated with being a form of ape. I often think I am alone dreaming of things when suddenly I am hear and you are all offended. In my dreams I have almost ultimate power. In this hand I may want a drink," I flourished my left hand and a swirling cloud forms above my palm and becomes a glass. "While in this hand I may want breasts." I flourish the right hand and the torso of a woman floats above the palm.
"I do not ever mean any of you harm, so try to forgive me!" I then take off up in to the air with a great deal of showmanship, copying the way Magneto does this. Chest out, arms back and all. I feel good and powerful.
As soon as I start to gain height an image forms in front of me, like I am floating up to a sky scraper or cliff. There is an open area inside the structure. Picture if you took all the glass off part of one floor on a sky scraper. Inside this area are about 12 entities all looking at me as if in judgement. They seem relaxed and look a bit as you would picture Nero and his court deciding the fate of a gladiator. Some of these beings radiate large amounts of power and are very intimidating with out trying to look tough.
They do not say anything, so I do. "I am an honest man who is involved with a very confusing thing. I want to be part of this but sometimes I do not realize what is happening and can not always control my behavior when I am dreaming. I will even meet each of your eyes to show I mean well." In my travels I have found that direct eye contact in this place opens you up to psychic attacks or contentedness. It is a very rude thing to force on anyone and has deep meaning here, far beyond what we would make of it in waking life. It somehow is like plugging two computers together with a usb cord. This gets their attention! A few of them shift forward right away. A voice in my head asks, "you will meet or eyes?" I affirm that I will. Three men approach. The first stares into my eyes. He then smiles and says, "I am Beelzibub." I am a bit taken aback as this name is something I have heard before as a lord of hell from gaming books. I assume at the time this is said to shock me (basically a lie to mess with me.) I interacted with the second on, but can not remember what happened. I know he made the contact and also introduced himself. The next one seems friendly. He quickly makes eye contact then breaks it and introduces himself as "Midas or Minos." I think to myself that Midas is a mythological name. He sees my thought and smiles. A frost covers his skin, but it is metallic and gold in color. At this point my memory is completely gone. If the dream kept going I can not recall any of it.
***Important note afterwards*** I wondered at the name the 1st being gave me.My thought was that it was a joke. I have been addressed by a being claiming to be Horus and on claiming to be Siva in the past, however these are figures from Egyptian and Hindu stories. I had thought this seemed a bit like something from Star Gate the tv series. Like maybe these are old special beings, but not really Gods, maybe beings that started being worshiped but are more like just seriously powerful forces. However, the name Beelzibub struck me as a Christian demon. My thought had been that he was messing with me. I look up the name and like so many other things this was a pagan god who the Christians demonized. It is actually the name for Ba'al a popular god in Canon the land the Hebrews invaded. Of course any of this could be made up in my head and mean nothing, but if we are open to my belief that this stuff is real, then this now makes sense. That name would certainly go right along side names like Horus or Siva in a list of important gods of ancient races.

I have a vague non-lucid about being blind. A woman restores my eyesight, and she asks me to interpret her dream. It is displayed with pink text upon a black screen. It is nonsense. I try to translate with google translate many times till I wake up.