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Almost all my lucid dreams start as false awakenings. This morning I had another uneventful lucid dream. I false awake on my bed and I feel weird. The whole thing feels not real. So I try to put up my hands to do a reality check but I don't see my hands when I hold them up. That's when Inknoe that it's a dream. I find that I am naked and try to conjure a dream figure to have sex with, but it doesn't work. I can't even see my own hands, even though I feel them rubbing together to try and stabilize the dream and have more control. I can feel the dream disintegrating so I try to close my dream eyes and will a new dream outside my bedroom but I awake instead.

This was one where I really should have reality checked. I was at my old house and went on the upper balcony. It was the evening and down by the pool was my brother with some girl. There were also two friends of mine in there that I can't remember. I dove in the pool and we all sat agains the back wall looking up at the sky. In the night sky was the moon, but it was shimmering. Shimmering like it was covered in water. Suddenly I realized that it must be the apocalypse, and instead of the moon it was a giant planet coming to smash us and end earth. I had no thoughts of dreams, only of enjoying my last moments. I looked up at the beautiful sight, and Tom and his girlfriend put masks on and said they had them on to prepare for the aliens. What weirdos. The planet suddenly swooped in extremely close, at cloud height, and we stared up at a single giant island in the sky among this vast sea that had turned the night sky blue.

Morning of May 18, 2017. Thursday.



In the backyard of our present address, a garden is present in an area near the southeast corner, closest to the fence on the east side. There is an area of ground that is about half an oval (the flat half to the fence). In this garden, which is about three feet long, are a number of moonflowers (tropical white morning-glories). I view them at night and there is an unusual spotlight effect on them (though this does not seem wrong or unlikely to me).

I look out during the next morning (with no real sense of much time passing relative to dream time) and there is no garden, not even the oval-shaped area of ground. I “realize” that they are only visible at night under certain conditions (even though they are technically called morning-glories).

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Morning of May 18, 2017. Thursday.



I am sitting on our bed in an informal meditation position, but the location is not certain (though it seems to be implied to be our present home, though it is not familiar or like any real location I have ever been). There are a large number of pieces of paper of various sizes and colors as well as a few different thicknesses. I am preparing to start making a fold-out paper diorama I had helped design (based on a real-life educational task I had created) and I have softly folded an A4 sheet so that I can cut it out as a square (though only for use as a test template to work with one of our sons). I cut out the square and place it aside.

In a short time, I realize that I had somehow misplaced the paper square. I become more and more frustrated over not being able to find what I had just made. I sort through the paper scraps, but it seems futile. I cannot accept that it has somehow vanished, but that seems to be the case.

Zsuzsanna is in an adjoining room. An unknown female comes in. I notice she seems familiar (but is really not). Her eyes are two different colors. Her left eye is a bright light blue and her right eye is dark brown (possibly meant to express both pairs of eyes of my parents). I am not sure why she is here but I do not feel that imposed upon. She is with Zsuzsanna anyway.

Still, I start to make very strange noises of frustration, almost as if I am having physical pain, though my own voice actually sounds somewhat comedic to me, sounding like “bluh bluh bluh” at one point. I do not leave the bed at any time. I get an impression that it might be Easter.

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Something vanishing or morphing in my dreams has been very common since earliest memory. It is so common (and continuous in first dreams of a period, including hypnagogia), it probably does not have any significant symbolism, especially when it relates to distortions of real events. At any rate, visual morphing is so rapid, it cannot even be reasonably documented (such as when a dream character changes identity at the rate of about twice per second, shifting through over a hundred or more different appearances, which is one of my lucidity triggers).

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Had a fitfull wbtb. Should I avoid my sip of coffee at 2 am?

Leaving

A dream of Asuka picking me up at my cousin k's house. I was packing things up and coming home.

Mirror

Brief flash of me looking into a mirror. I was all blurry. Almost became lucid but woke up.

Blue beings

Me and Bjork are in a strange place that is hard to describe. We come across dozens of 20 ft. tall blue beings all huddling together in some sort of discussion. Bjork is like, "I wonder what they are doing?". She gets a mischievous look on her face and grabs me by the arm and she pulls me between their feet. Now I'd like I'm in a forest of blue legs or something. I can hear the blue beings whispering things about me and Bjork but I can't make out what they are saying exactly. I get that watery feeling and leave the huddle. I stand looking at them for a bit. Bjork emerges and she looks really bright. She's wearing a white sweater and has her hair done up. She thinks to herself for a moment, and declares, "No, this is way too real". I realize she must have done a reality check. But before i consider doing one I wake up.

School again

I'm in school but in the Principle's office. The principle is the pastor from a church I use to go to. He is helping a young girl use a computer. I notice a screen where I left my email open. There's unfavorable spam in my inbox for a child to be looking at. I try to get to it to close my email but I wake up.