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I've been meditating haphazardly and documenting my RCs in a small notebook. The time I do them; and what things I check for, but I haven't really had my heart in lucid dreaming lately. Though last night when I have a dream that's both lucid and that doesn't really have any elements that I feel don't belong in a public space.

I recall the dream starting in a location in a forest; lots of tall trees. There was a bunker like building right in front of me built into a hillside. It somewhat reminded me of the sheild generator base on Endor from SW-ROtJ. In fact I think I saw some dream characters wearing stormtrooper costumes. I became semi lucid, I believe through a nose pinch and I recall having my small RC documenting notebook in my hand.

I remember thinking to myself that now that I was lucid I should take off and fly, but a voice inside my head said that I couldn't because I wasn't sure that I was lucid yet. I told the voice in my head that I was lucid and that I would prove it; opening my RC notebook and showing it the successful RC. I had checked my phone for the time and it had read 11:62, checked it agian and it had read 11:622 and I had written that down. But the voice in my head said that I was making it up. I got mad and said that I would prove it. I reached into hyperspace and got a pair of large scissors and said that I would stab myself and not die. I stabbed the scissors into my solar plexus and didn't feel anything. I pulled them out and there was no blood but a square hole and my insides didn't seem to have any organs; I just looked like I was made of Bologna. I asked the voice if it still thought I was awake and I got no answer.

Probably not a smart RC for beginners; or anyone for that matter to use.

Now that I was fully lucid and didn't have a portion of myself talking me down I decided I would fly around. I flew above the bunker structure and didn't get far until I saw a bunch of DCs. It looked like they were shooting the star wars movie and despite being lucid I didn't want to interrupt and fly into their movie. I remember one of the dream characters said something about how the actors playing villains and actors playing heroes had to role play, even when off set to stay in character. Then another dream character told me something about cutting down trees and carving them into sculptures with a chainsaw and showed me a large wooden statue of a cat.

I decided I wanted to see my persistent dream characters and turned around to see them right behind me. (Manei and Marcus, though Marcus had appeared as the little robot orb once more.) I said hello to them. I remember when Marcus spoke he sounded like Jarvis from the Iron Man movies. Manei showed me her new tablet and someone drew an animated cartoon of her where she was trying to tie down her hair but the strap would always break and her hair would poof out and be really long and messy again.

I remember saying something along the lines of not having any plans to get lucid so it was for the two of them to decide what to do. Marcus said that he had some things he wanted to say.

"My time spent living inside this little ball [instead of a human body] has given me a new perspective on humans. You are very strange creatures; like ants scurrying around building sand hills and fighting for crumbs of a cracker. You make up gods that give you purpose and cause the contrived things you refuse to understand because you wasted all your lifetimes from the first cavemen to today looking down at the sand and rocks and you never bother looking up at the rest of the world to see how big it is."

The dream scene changed to an abandoned harbor. There were rusty boats half sunk and partially collapsed warehouses with trees and vines growing on them. It was dusk/dawn and there were some seagulls flying around. Marcus said something about the Buddha telling 11 lies in his lifetime and each one of them represented something and Manei said that he was wrong and there were more lies. I was trying to remember the quote Marcus had said and wanted the dream to end.

...

The dream carried on for awhile. At one point I was at a video arcade/casino in Niagara Falls. Manei and I were playing games trying to win enough tickets to get a blue plastic spaceship. The only prizes you could win at the arcade were little plastic ships. There were white ones, pink ones and yellow ones but the blue ones were the best because they were the rarest and glowed in the dark.

-+-

Marcus has always had a somewhat dim/depressed view of humanity now that I think about it.

A martial arts group was seeking me. They said they would teach me
parallel bars if I started a martial arts school with them, and that I would feel
an experience people felt like when/after they die. I wanted to
learn parallel bars. In the dream it felt like a cult and I was afraid.

In a different dream I was doing gymnastics and eating dark chocolate.
I can't remember if I could taste the chocolate but I think I did a little
bit, not the same as in real life.

All else slipped away. Hoping to write my dreams down tomorrow morning. want to
get back into my dream journal and get a lucid dream. Really wish the dream progressed
to the parallel bars so I could experience them at least in a dream.

Building

In an office building, looking around. Actually, feeling a bit lost and uncertain of what I'm looking for. While here I see my mom in one of the offices. I wait in the hallway for her to come out and pretend to appear surprised when she calls my name. I turn around and we chat for a moment about nothing specific. I can feel that she's happy to see me... I'm less pleased to see her. I love her and think she's great. It's just unfortunate she's working in Hell and it's this aspect that saddens me. They treat her decently and it's a mutually beneficial arrangement, it's just unfortunate. She has to get back to work so I tell her I'm just running errands and I'll see her later.

Escort

I'm still in Hell, but now I'm pushing a cart with a few supplies in it. I need to take it somewhere. A man is escorting me; I'm rather fond of him for no particular reason. He seems warm. We arrive at an elevator and I'm hesitant to ride with the other riders. They are surrounded by darkness and I can't tell where the darkness is originating from; whether it's the elevator itself, an individual inside the elevator, or the collective within the elevator. I know enough to hesitate, and my escort informs me we'll take the next one. I exhale a sigh of relief. I didn't really want to explain my preference to wait, so I'm relieved he reads me exceptionally well.

We wait, then I enter the empty elevator. My escort has vanished and I'm with two women. Once we enter, a secondary door forms. I walk through the elevator and start laughing. I'm on another level without having to go up or down, just around. The two women I'm with are confused, so I explain we're on the right level. They're still confused. They don't seem very adaptive to changing reality. I explore on my own.

Starving Demons

I'm observing a group of three women eating at an exclusive restaurant. Still in Hell. They are visibly disgruntled and I realize they've run out of money. They can't afford to eat more than an appetizer. A fourth woman arrives and I'm staring at her beige colored necklace around her neck, it's quite interesting--looks like a belt. The fourth woman offers to pay for their meal. The three women, as it turns out, had planned poorly resulting in their current unfortunate series of events. The fourth woman had prepared by being more than evil (though I still believe she's a demon, not all demons are created equal). The fourth woman had been kind to others, regardless of origin (she was nice to the non-demons), and as the world changed she was able to change with it. The other three had not been kind and now they are unable to sustain themselves (food source went away).

Possession

I'm observing a pair of demons outside. One is normal and nice. The other demon is possessed by hatred. Understandable. The nice one is trying to convince the other one to abandon the hatred as it's consuming her and will eventually claim her life. The nice one retrieves what appears to be the child of the possessed demon. Makes sense as family bonds are a decent method to tame emotional hatred. This doesn't work and the possessed demon is on the verge of attacking its offspring. It's very unfortunate to see things have escalated to this degree. I'm considering stepping into the body of the possessed in order to pull it out of that state. It just needs a gentle tug--but I never get to see the outcome as it's time for me to wake.

Notes

My dreams have always involved Hell being the winning political party. I've been a permanent resident of Hell, but I've also resided in lighter areas too. As I grew up I traveled vast distances and met many wonderful beings, all over. I came to understand that origin and residency don't necessarily make individuals good or bad. Individuals choose who they want to be. There are demons in Heaven, just as there are angels in Hell. It's a horrific race war, even on the spiritual planes. Now that Heaven has the upper hand due to recent events, the demons are struggling to adapt. Their food source has been severely diminished and their hunting methods and way of life must change or they will perish. I'm here to ensure the demons survive. Why? Because demons are spirits too. Life should be protected and everyone deserves the opportunity to live. Personally, I find it hilarious to see demons miserable. It's a nice change of pace.

I'm in a forest with my friend. Its fall in the dream, there are barely any leaf on the trees , its about afternoon.
For some reason my rage overcomes me and now I want to kill him, I grab a stone and throw it in his direction, but it didnt get him. Then I chase him for a while, he climbs up on that hill full of trees. I follow him, I remember Star Wars, and the "high ground" so I continue to climb, once i got there, he starts to back up , but instead of following him , I climb up on that big branch that has fallen off and is on another tree. Then I screamed " It's over , Anakin! I have the high ground!" , then as an echo I hear the answer " You underestimate my power! " , I say " Don't try it" . Then at this point it all goes foggy and I dont remember what happened after wards.

In a ltely fragment I remember fightning someone, then i became semi lucid, and tried to jump on the next level of that building where my enemy was . then i woke up.

Morning of June 11, 2017. Sunday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and our children as we are now are at a carnival, though curiously, a group of people are in our house at one point (mostly in our lounge room) who are apparently waiting to enter another area. I do not see them as imposers and even consider how there are not that many people around. There is the typical ambiguity of the setting being an unlikely essence of indoors and outdoors at the same time, a common factor of my dreams since early childhood.

A photographer is present in a few different scenes. He reminds me of Al, the Italian manager of a pawn shop in La Crosse, who I have not seen in nearly twenty-five years.

Although some of the photographs he takes seem okay, many are very poorly done, often cutting off the person’s face below the nose. I have the strong impression that the photographs he takes that turn out well are the result of random coincidence.

Zsuzsanna and I sit to the right of an unknown family. I sit to Zsuzsanna’s right. I assume the photographer is going to take a few good photographs of the scene. However, when I look at them later, I see that my face is only visible above the mouth and in one photograph, the one I look at the longest, both my eyes are closed. I show Zsuzsanna and relate my opinion of this photographer as not being very good. I notice in the last photograph, my right eye is closed and my left eye is open.

---

The photographer is of course this dream’s personified preconscious. He is not really confrontational here as in many other dreams. The purpose of the personified preconscious is to initiate the waking transition and in some cases, as here, to give evidence that the dreamer is dreaming. The subliminal anticipation of the hypnopompic jerk is only one of several factors in this waking symbolism. The preconscious is more of a biological necessity, though not always personified (for example, is sometimes an animal, sometimes an event or feature of a setting, but always fairly obvious if one understands dreams). The nature of how the preconscious waking factor is rendered, and what character plays the role in a particular dream, sometimes seems completely random. However, looking more deeply, there is usually more than one layer.

In this case, the photographer is played by a man who worked at a checkout. A checkout is a form of liminal space waking symbolism. (The analogy is that a person is done shopping and ready to return home as akin to leaving the dream state, or “checking out of the dream state”.) This type of hybrid characterization, though always unique, has occurred in thousands of my dreams, with the same waking symbolism and implications.

It is not that common for me as my personified subconscious (temporary fictional dream self) to be The Sleeper. This element is typically projected as something else, even faulty technology. In the last photograph, one of my eyes is open, which is an emergent consciousness factor. (My mouth is not visible in the photographs as I cannot speak coherently while sleeping.) Zsuzsanna and I are oriented in my dream as we are in bed in reality (that is, she is to my left). There seem to be a few types of instinctual dreaming (non-lucid dream control). In addition to the state where the dreamer knows he is making the dream (and yet does not even remember or know what a dream is), there is the state as here, where the dreamer is more passive to events, yet where there is the subliminal knowledge of being asleep but not direct or creating viable lucidity. There is also a sort of halfway point when I am next to Zsuzsanna, my dream attaining real environmental orientation while still within the dream state (more common and sustained in my childhood dreams).

Of course, a carnival symbolizes the dream state itself (that is, a place not relevant to the usual day-to-day reality, though my family had been to one recently).

---

Morning of June 11, 2017. Sunday.



I am riding in the back of a taxi. The driver, a dark-haired male in his thirties, is unfamiliar. Zsuzsanna is with me. There also seems to be at least one unknown female present as a passenger. She makes unusual comments as we ride through a mostly unlit area, as if she is uncertain of the intention of the cab driver or where we are going. We go through an odd area between two exterior (presumably) walls in a more isolated part of the unknown city. The walls are irregular (more like rock faces) and seem to have recesses with unknown features, perhaps living creatures, but this never becomes clear.

Several different times, the taxi goes up a staircase, similar to the one on Rose Street (but somehow never down one). I do not consider this unusual, even though we somehow are eventually outside and at ground level again, to later ride up another high flight of steps. The last staircase is slightly steeper than the previous but there is never any sense of fear or even wariness.

Finally, we get out of the taxi on the second floor of an apartment building, apparently where the driver lives. This does not seem unusual to me. (In fact, my dream self had no backstory memory or any destination in mind at any point.) The driver walks over to an unusual “table” in his kitchen, but which looks more like the walls we saw earlier, and is actually like a large irregular rock (though flat on the top) in the shape of a rectangular prism. The driver exclaims “Oh!” (as if surprised by something unseen) and waves his hand, but there is nothing there. He mentions that a wasp had emerged earlier from the “table” and seems to think that this event is also transpiring presently (though it is not). I do not feel threatened or alarmed in any way and calmly mention to all the others that there is nothing there.

---

In this dream, the preconscious shows me, several times, the “staircase as consciousness shift” factor (here, as implied waking symbolism). Still, there is no discernible change in the waking transition as such (though in contrast to going up, going down steps typically either vivifies my dream or triggers full lucidity). Even more oddly, he pretends the flight symbol (hypnopompic start precursor) is present in the last scene when I do not see it or feel the “return flight” mood at all. (Obviously, I still eventually wake.)

It is a general rule that the preconscious becomes more dominant (even aggressive or uncommunicative) over time during a particular sleep cycle. Obviously, this is because waking up is a biological necessity. This did not seem so much like a glitch as a “practice run” inclusive of my usual waking symbolism over the last fifty years.

---

Party

Weird dream where I'm walking around some warehouse party. I feel too uncomfortable to talk to anyone. I search the whole place but don't find anyone I recognize.

Work stuff

May have been an extension of the previous dream. It took place inside a huge Mcdonald's. C and M were there and I kept flying over them using gravity to get ahead of them. I wind up stealing a quarter pounder off the production line. I fly up somewhere to eat it LOL.

Weird house

Me and my brother are visiting some weird guy who has a strange layout to his house. There's a downstairs part where it's a gigantic maze and he has hidden treasures in various places. Me and my brother explore it for a bit. We wind up outside with the guy. He says he's christian but me and my brother scoff at that since his house was filled with occult books and orbs. He then starts praying in a weird language. Me and my brother just look at him weird.

FA, Some people I don't recognize are in my room. A man is cleaning up after some girl who seems to be sick and he starts apologizing to me for her ruining my room. I later go to explore the house but I don't recognize what house I'm in.