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    Asthenia

    1. Only Human

      by , 07-26-2015 at 11:12 AM
      Let us guide and teach. We ran a tour that journeyed sightseers into the wood.
      There were lots of twists and turns with fallen trees. There were steep hills.
      All this stimulation made me take off running the path I had done thousands of times.
      I had expected my sister to stay back and lead the group. She was partner to my tour guide business.
      However, she ran just as I did. We waited at the end of a steep drop-off for the group
      to catch up. We were not far away at all. The hard part of the adventure was the
      drop, where both my sister and I waited for the travellers to approach so that
      we could lend aid. As we waited, we looked at one another in an expression that
      suggested in a slightly aggravated way that the other should have stayed with the
      group. Then came a scream with such high pitch and intensity that it seemed to have thrown
      my heart off rhythm. There was a moment that seemed like ten, in which I was completely
      petrified. My eardrums shriveled up in cowardice but the scream continued to bore holes into
      my mind, creating for itself a dwelling where it should lives for decades to come.
      The wretched screech serenaded my thoughts, "How could they have possibly have harmed
      themselves this early into the tour", and "I could/should have been there."
      More thoughts than the ones mentioned were racing in from different directions,
      all acting like chefs pouring ingredients such as dread, hatred, confusion, and
      guilt into the stew of my sloshing stomach making me sick. Did not they, they
      being my thoughts, know that too many cooks spoiled the soup? None of that
      nonsense mattered. All that did was getting back to the group. I ran up the
      dirt slope as fast as I could, only slipping twice. By the time I had gotten
      to the group, all the damage that was going to happen had done so already.
      The young girl's arm had been shredded. It had appear to be done not by the landscape
      but by some kind of beast. In addition to being badly injured she was unable to speak
      about what had happened. No one else had even seen it. Everyone was asked and most
      could only recall hearing her scream and then the blood. No beast, no slip and fall.
      But, I could see in her moist and cloudy eyes that she knew what had happened.
      Later in the tour house common room, she was holding onto her arm which was in a big bundle
      of bandages. I approach, "I know you don't want to talk about what happened but
      you have to let me take you to the hospital" She nods slightly. I get her in
      the car and drive swiftly. I don't know where I am going. When I finally look up a map
      on my phone we are very far away from a hospital which at the beginning of our travels
      had been close. On the map right below the hospital icon reads: "Click for Fast Travel"
      I pressed it on my phone but something glitched and started us back at the beginning
      of the game chapter. Since I knew how this was all to go down, I tried to hurry
      through to give my passenger the shortest wait. The game flashed the beginning.
      Which I expected to be me neglecting my tour group and allowing one to be
      harmed. This was apparently not the beginning. It started with flashing images
      of flesh and blood and a man covered in wires and thorns. All with intense music.
      Rapid flashes of pain and fear. Brutal scenes. Just get through it so I can take her
      to the hospital. My dad is the one holding the controller. I give him suggestion because
      I had just finished this whole part. Objective: Take Out the Eye. On the screen
      the torn and mutilated man sat screaming the same body paralysing scream while
      a hand, belonging to someone behind the camera, was half in the eye socket holding
      the eye. The one behind the camera is the one you control in the game.
      "You really have to reef on it" I encouraged my dad. I do the acting the game in looking
      to be done to the controller in the air to explain myself. We are both fixated on the
      screen. The screaming continues. But now it is mixed with another fear installing
      sound. Yelping. What my dad is reefing on is not the controller, no wonder the game
      is not progressing. In my dad's hands is my wiener dog. He does not notice that
      he is doing this, he is fixated on the flashing screen. He is trying to pull out
      the dog's eye but cannot manage to get it instead I see the dog's eye lids being
      ripped off his face while the dog is yelping quickly and loudly and in continuous stream.
      Stop. It takes force to pull my dog loose. When I get him he is shaking and the area around
      his eye is red swollen and ripped. My dad looks at himself in disbelief. He had no idea
      and never wanted to do this. It was as if this game had been designed to make the player
      hostile to a living soul they had around them. End Dream.

      I wrote this a while back. I am sorry for the errors and the confusing end description but just reading once before uploading it was enough to make me feel ill. This was truly an unpleasant experience. To clarify the end part, my father is ripping out the eye of my dog. The title is a strange choice.
      Tags: upsetting
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    2. Short and Vivid

      by , 06-04-2015 at 08:27 AM
      Setting: Someone's kitchen/living room.

      I was among thieves but one was not like the others... There was a wild card on the team. The responsibility of taking him out was put on my shoulders. I knew this guy had a gun in one of his bags. I grab the gun and point it at the rogue sitting on the couch with his arms resting on the top. He stares me in the eye as I pull the trigger and hear a small disappointing click. I am a little panicked, this chump I was trying to shoot didn't bat an eye. He was calm as ever. I saw his eyes roll as he reached into his belt pulled out his secondary (that none of us knew of) and slowly and professional-like began loading it. I ran back to his bag and fumbled around with the pack of bullets. My hands were shaky and it felt like forever passed before I finally had the gun loaded and clicked back in position. I had never used a gun before. I had been crouching behind the kitchen island while getting the bullets in the gun. I felt myself perspire and the fear welling up in my gut. I thought to myself maybe I had a chance if he had his gun pointed to the side I had entered from (of the island), so I came out around the opposite side. He had expected this and the first thing I see as I scoot out from the side of the island is his gun pointed directly at me resting on the back of the couch. He had one eye closed lining it up with my head. I shot three bullet before he pulled his trigger. They all miss. He fires his gun (it was as if he had waited that extra moment just to see if I were capable of killing him) and it strikes me in the face. I feel the blood wet my face first and then the cold of the air in the new orifice located around the upper right jaw/ just below the orbital. A small piercing pain was growing steadily, it hurt like hell. It was hot at cold at the same time. My ears rang and my heart sank as I know that this is the end of me. Time stands still for a moment and as it unfreezes my hand covers the hole and my legs stumble me back. My lower shoulder blades stop me against the sink counter. I slide down onto the floor and feel that metallic tasting fluid glide down my throat. My jaw gapes as I lean forward and a few pieces of crumbled teeth slip out and land in front of me. I see, but mostly just hear, the man shoot the rest of the team. They are all clean shots and my teamates die instantly. When he is done with them, he comes back over to me. He crouches down and rests on his heels. His gun hangs in his hand comfortably between his legs. He just sits there and watches me die slowly.
      Tags: dying, vivid
      Categories
      dream fragment , non-lucid
    3. Cross Gender

      by , 06-03-2015 at 04:49 AM
      My mind often forgets what my gender is when I am within the realm of a dream. Sometimes I'm a boy and sometimes I'm a girl, I have even switched genders part way through.

      In this one dream, I was a young boy living with his brother in a suburban home. Our parents had passed away a few months back and we were still trying to hide this information from authorities. We continued on wishing to live on our own without a foster parent because we knew that would mean moving to a different home and possibly a different school. The bills for the house kept coming and we could only tell the telephone that our parents were in the showers so many times before suspicion arose.

      When it was found out that we were living on our own an estranged grandfather was given charge of us and the property. It was not like we had feared but in another way, this was much worse. There was a reason we had never been brought to meet this man. He was a child abuser. As soon as he arrived he made plans to do some landscaping, all the labor was done by brother and I. He didn't like the speed I was working so he pushed me down into the hole I had dug and pushed his brown plad covered pelvis into my face, all the while mocking me and calling me a faggot.

      The last thing I remember before I wake is my back against the muddy wall and my pedophile grandfather leering over me, smiling a bit as he unzipped his trousers.

      Sometimes I wonder if some dreams are portals into alternate realities.
      Categories
      non-lucid