memorable

I find myself outside near a convenience/appliance combination store wearing my trusty ‘traveling’ backpack I own only in my dreams. It, as usual, is stuffed with marijuana. Apparently weed is the only thing I feel I need to survive when traversing the dreamscape.

A teenager approaches me from across the street as if he knows me. The teenager asks me for some weed and offers to help me “get some pussy” in return. This disrespectful bartering prospect highly unnerves me, and sends me into a rage. I swing a right hook at him, but he is a minor and so I subconsciously pull back at the last moment and the punch doesn’t land.

The punk kid throws a deck of cards at me and they all spill and flutter around me. I dig into my trusty dream satchel to procure some sort of defense. I find my rhyming dictionary and throw it at the teenager. This has no affect and so I throw spoon after spoon at him… each of which I find inside my bag. With the kid distracted, I duck into the store and find myself at the model washers and dryers.

Cat shit covers my clothes now so I am given ample reason to use said washers and dryers. I strip down to my boxer-brief underpants and place my dirty clothes in an empty display washer. Everybody is very upset by my actions, and shake their heads at me… who stands wearing boxer-briefs, shoes and socks, and a backpack. Since I was half-naked, the authorities were notified so the police show up immediately… there had been a cruiser across the street and two officers witnessed the entire previous scene with the teenager. I am afraid because of how much marijuana I have on my person, and the immanence of being searched… I approach the police and surrender the rest of my spoons. Subconsciously I knew that I was dreaming and that I didn’t have to actually suffer the legal ramifications of the situation at hand and ended the dream to wake myself up before being busted for possession.

The scene starts with lights upon a guitar. As soon as there is a solid awareness of the guitar it instantaneously shatters into pieces. The guitar strings elongate and distort to become the legs of a real woman dancing on Broadway.

A marionette puppet walks by on its own accord.

The Broadway gal sticks her long lizard-tongue out at me as she slowly but surely turns full reptilian. The puppet walks on alone, somberly through dark corridors. A large butcher knife comes down from the ceiling and cuts the puppet in half. The puppet reattaches itself and stands up to escape, but the butcher knife comes back down and dices the puppet into neat little squares, and then minces it into bits.

The bits of marionette puppet instantly ignite afire, engulfing the world’s oceans. I see the world, with all it’s oceans on fire. Dolphins, ablaze, jump into the air and hang for a moment before sinking under waves of flame. The clouds, too, were on fire and angels fell from the sky.



I stand alone and scream in agony before graphically tearing myself in two to the bone. My skeleton catches fire. With the entire world ablaze, it looks like a fireball. It incinerated into a tiny burning ember in the center of a baby’s eye. I pan out to see the baby in full view as the butcher knife reappears dicing the baby to bits. The puppet somberly reenters with a broom and dustpan, to sweep the bits of baby up and dump it into the garbage.

A beautiful woman lies naked on an ornate bed sprawled amongst numerous tall stacks of ancient books. I stand shirtless a few feet from the bed and place a few choice books on my shelf. Instead of having sex with the woman I turn away and collect the rest of the books on the bed so that I can return them to the library. Once I arrive at the library I see that it resembles the Akashic Records, which I’ve visited before. The entrance to the Records is spectacular, framed by epic pillars.



I head inside and replace the books and knowledge that I have borrowed and assimilated. I browse the aisles for a bit and stumble upon a specific dream character jerk that causes trouble within the library, and starts shit with random visitors like a bully. I walk by him and ignore him, but he steps in my path and scowls at me.

He tells me to never get in his face. Wanting nothing more than to put him in his place I step up to him and jab my finger at him and “get in his face.” This angers the jerk and we proceed to battle, first hand to hand grappling before it escalates into an epic old school sword fight. We slice and duel amongst the many rows of books throughout the library until I finally defeat him.

As I stand to walk away triumphantly, I realize that I have also been mortally wounded from the battle. I stumble over to the dying jerk I defeated in battle and say “See you in another life, yeah?” I shuffle back to the naked woman in bed, lie next to her, and wake up.

A man plays an Old West guitar… or “gee-tar.” He plays alongside a small band in a typical run-of-the-mill saloon. Like everyone else in the building, they chew and wear chaps and cowboy hats. Dust covers everything. I am an outsider, (from the town, and literally outside of the saloon) riding my horse through this future ghost town. My horse suddenly collapses and I spill into the middle of the road. My horse is dead. I look around the road and town’s buildings and see countless other horses have died.

I look at my horse and watch it go through the entire decaying process in a matter of seconds. My horse is now just a skeleton. All of the other dead horses are also skeletons. I look on at all the dead horses, still in shock, holding the reigns of my skeleton horse… and tie it up to a post. I enter the saloon, the band still plays and I order me a drink to clear my head. A large cowpie jerk of a man starts shit with me and antagonizes me because I ain't from around here. Chaos ensues.

A large, full-scale old-fashioned wild west bar fight breaks out of epic proportions. All of the classic Western moves are there: man falling off balcony, the Madame’s girls screaming, some guys too drunk to fight; and on top of that adding a healthy dose of classic dream power: telekinesis. All the while the band never stops playing. Finally, at the climax of the fight, the song ends and I am left the last man standing. Exhausted, I am clobbered over the head by the singer/songwriter by his gee-tar, and he is deemed REAL last man standing.

It is late at night and raining. I walk along a sidewalk, without an umbrella. The rain drenches me but I don’t care, it feels nice. There are other people walking down the street in front and behind me. A long black limousine pulls up in front of me. I see a few of the other people that walk around me get pulled into the limo. It pulls forward so that the limousine sits directly next to me. The door swings open, and I don’t have a moment to react or escape. They abduct me into the back seat. The back of the limousine opens up… it is exponentially bigger inside than it looks from outside.

Several Men in Black suits and dark sunglasses surround me and the other captives. One by one, each captive is held down by multiple men while another injects an oversized hypodermic needle deep into the center of his forehead into his third eye… the mind’s eye which rests just above and between the brow crests. The threatening Men in Black purposely show me this on a few of the captives so that I know exactly what I’m getting into. Once each person is injected they go limp and enter a catatonic state. Even though I know this and that this danger will befall me, I cannot escape.

It is my turn now, and I fight against the men with all my might. They overpower me easily, incomparable in strength. I see the giant oversized hypodermic needle come closer toward me until I feel it puncture the skin of my forehead. It stabs deep into my brain and I feel the liquid enter me as the plunger pushes down. Something is released within me and my entire body is seized with the most intense energetically buzzing. (similar to Sleep Paralysis). The electronic current flows through my system. I initially wonder if it is heroin. I am catatonic in the back of the black limousine, and it feels so beautifully euphoric that it hurts me to the core.

Eddie Murphy ate a fly. Then it flew out of his mouth unscathed.

An alien invasion was unleashed upon the earth by the Grays. These aliens were specifically body snatchers and shape-shifters. They were manipulators of the highest ability, akin to the reptilians. The problem was that anybody could be one of the invading aliens. A lot of people also didn’t believe me, thinking that I was just being a conspiracy theorist. My closest friends in the dream were aware though, and a hefty portion of the dream was spent thinking a specific individual was an alien, but I was wrong.

The alien turned out to be masquerading as an ally of mine. We managed to ‘evade’ the other aliens by hiding in a forest… but it was all just a ruse for the shapeshifter to get me alone. When just the two of us stood in the forest, it transformed into its original alien form and tried to infest my body, to make me its next host. I ran, and tried to escape but no matter how fast or hard I tried, the alien was right on my heels. At this point, the stress and fear catapulted me into lucidity and I realized I was dreaming. I decided to stop and face my fears, so I stopped and turned to confront the alien. I told it that it couldn’t hurt me in this dream world. At this, the alien cocked its head and stabbed its hand deep into my chest (Mr. Smith a la the Matrix style). I could feel the alien drain my life force, as I started dying. My feelings were of failure and lost hope… as even though I stood up to a dream figure… I ‘died’

I see a lone stuffed anthropomorphic Teddy Bear, complete with button eyes. It tries to talk to me but its mouth is just a seam stitched shut. In an attempt to talk, the bear forcibly rips its mouth-seam open. As soon as it manages to make a working mouth… the bear’s cotton guts spill out of it with such force that it turns the teddy bear inside out, leaving just a fluff of cotton. The cotton fluff morphs into a cloud that rains upon a single spot on the ground. Where the teddy bear once sat, the ground becomes fertile and single flower sprouts.

Clone Ambush
Walking along the street downtown, I spot my girlfriend (at the time) standing at the edge of the street curb a half a block away from me. She waited for the signal to change so she could cross the street. She stood with another man, hand in hand, and both of them had their backs turned to me. Their tone got sexual and I became infuriated. I ran toward them and attacked the guy with my girlfriend. I whipped him good and beat him to within an inch of his life, all the while screaming at my ex-girlfriend. The heap of a man turned over to reveal that it was me. I had beat up my own self. Upset, confused, and furious I stormed off.

It is raining. I see the white silhouette of a door. I myself am a dark silhouette of a man in a trench coat and hat, running toward the rectangle of light. As I reach the door my trench coat billows and obscure the door’s light. From above and across my door was a larger double door painted black with a red symbol, similar to a cross (but with extra perpendicular t’s.)

These larger double doors open and nazi-like soliders, adorned in red and black, marched forward. I am in the rafters now, looking down upon the soldiers. I leap into the marchers below... my trench coat engulfing them. All the soldiers transformed into bats and flew away. I ran outside to see a beautiful woman standing in the rain. Our eyes catch for a fleeting moment. Clichéd loved at first sight. The raindrops morph into bullets as bullets rain about the woman, pelting her. I dove into the madness and extracted the woman to safety under the protection and cover of a ledge. The bullets are now drops of blood raining all around me as the woman dies in my arms. I stand, scream and tear both my coat and hat off, as well as my shirt. The sky rains bullets once more, and instead of lightning the clouds burst flashes of gunfire as I stepped out into the bullets, sacrificing myself. I die but my soul rises high and turns into a shooting star.

Sleep Paralysis Wormhole


Originally Occurred - February 2003
So I wasn’t quite sure what to make of all this. I had quite an interesting experience. When I was in bed, I felt that I was astral projecting, and it felt more extreme than it ever has... However it makes more sense that I was LDing, I think my mind was just playing tricks on me, because the landscape seemed much more to me like a lucid dream… just the most amazing lucid dream ever (Because I had such an aware state of consciousness)

I had the notion I was astral projecting because of the incredible energy buzzing sensation that I was having, and it wasn’t something I had felt in my dreams before. I was light as a feather, and I was floating around my room… although I forgot to try and look at my bed to see if I was still laying there.

Anyway my level of consciousness was bizarre, because I was so AWARE… and anything I would think about would happen. Anything I was afraid of, or thought about, manifested. Like I felt a loose tooth, and got worried that my teeth would fall out, and they did. I could reverse the process by tricking my mind into being worried that my teeth would go back into my mouth, and suddenly voila! And for some reason, the thought of vomiting just crossed my head, I wasn’t feeling sick, or anything, but just the idea of throwing up came to me, and immediately I did, all over my floor. I knew that things were totally off, because when I’d look down, there was no vomit or teeth on the floor at all.

So I did some tests to see what realm I was in. I plugged my nose, and found I could still breathe, and that time was irrelevant to any of the machines that ‘produced’ it (CLOCKS, bitches!) and I even tried experimenting with the physicality of things, which was basically a fucking illusion, because I could put my hands, arms, and my whole body through walls like butter. So the more I reflect the more I feel it was a lucid dream, that I may have just interpreted as astral projection, or an Out of Body Experience. So I decided to have some fun, and jumped through the wall and made my way a few houses down to this house of hot girls, who happened to be having a party. And the only thing that kept giving me the impression I was astral projecting, over lucid dreaming at this point, was the fact that nobody could see me, or feel me…

but it went both ways because as I was trying to cop a feel on this girl Molly, my hands would just go THROUGH her tits, which weirded me out. Then I realized, I should move my intent from perversion to something a little more constructive. So I focused my energy on bringing a friend to me, and it worked! My best friend showed up, and god… I focused all my energy to try and make him lucid in my dream too so that we could co-create… but I couldn’t break through to him… I might have just gotten over-excited, and bit off more than I could chew.

This was one of first of the most conscious control of this ‘dream’ . If there was an object I wanted, or a place I wanted to go, all I had to do was basically turn around and EXPECT it to be there, and it was. And when I was outside trying my movements, I would imagine that instead of running, I was on a conveyor belt that just took me to places, and my FUCKING GOD…. That thing was the most intense thing I’ve ever been on in my life. It was like a goddamn ROCKET-SHIP. I felt the buzzing energy the faster and faster I traveled on the conveyor belt to my friend’s house. It was awesome, amazing, and beautiful, and I had to share it.

Wiener Stretching



I was standing in my room, naked, when I became lucid. I put my hands on my hips and looked about the room, triumphantly. Everything seemed to have an extra shimmer, another layer. I looked down and decided to stretch my penis. I grabbed it with my hands and tugged on it until it was so long, that it touched the ground and landed in a heap.

I laughed hysterically and nearly walked into the other room when I heard a noise, and decided it was best to stay in my room.

There's a little bit of a gap here, but I started doing various 'reality tests' like plugging my nose. Then later a dream character in the form of "some kid" kept following me around and asking me for marijuana.

The dreamworld faded and as it did so, I spun around and brought it back.

Let's All Go to the Lobby!



I found myself in a large lobby of what could be a business building in a large city. The lobby was expansive and tiles and had massively tall ceilings, even though there were many, many floors in the building. I spent some time walking the halls and various floors, as if I were searching for something.

At some point, parts of the corporate building began to merge into something of a convenience mart, but a palatial one. Finally I came to a front desk type of area and felt that this was what I needed to see, and I had in the back of my head that someone told me I needed to pick up a piece of 'legal' paper, something that looked like a receipt.

However, the woman at the desk, or receptionist was VERY curt with me and yelled at me, telling me something along the lines of "instead of being courteous, why don't you try doing the right thing?" or something.

I became upset because I was doing what I felt I was supposed to do, by filling out this yellow card. I got very angry, maybe it was the 'customer is always right' mentality, but I was furious. I walked around some more trying to find what I was supposed to do, until I came back to the front desk, and another person 'helped' me, by telling me that I needed to fill out a this specific yellow receipt paper pad... the same one I was just denied.

At this point I said 'fuck it' and had made quite a scene. I started yelling about the incompetence of these people and how they just like to yank people around, and I went over to a section that had nothing but these yellow pads, or papers and I furiously ripped them up.

As I did so, I realized that I just might make a couple people unhappy, so I turned and made my way to the door so I could exit, but I was on the second floor and I couldn't find a good way down. there were 3 escalators, but they all came up to me from the floor below, or went up from me into the floor above...but with a little searching I was able to find the escalator that went downstairs, and I headed towards the large revolving doors, when I saw that it was stacked with security, I doubled back, and headed down a different hallway on the first floor

I could FEEL the security coming after me, and since I wasn't running I thought I'd be able to get away alright, but the security was gaining and gaining on me. It was then that I realized, "wait, I'm dreaming... I can rectify this simply."

So I stopped running and stepped into the wall, as if it weren't there. Calmly I stood and watched through the wall as the security continued down the hall, completely unaware of me.

I confidently stepped out from the wall, accomplished, and woke up.

Tricking the Prankster Bear King in Space!


I found myself in space, fighting in an epic space war. I flew my own craft, that looked like a small flying saucer with a bubble top. (Spaceman spiff style) .


I did not want to fight anymore, as I didn’t find any worthy point in sacrificing my life for a war I knew nothing about. So I deserted. I "woke up" and I left the war and decided to indulge in my own explorations of space and the thrill of adventure. I flew far from the war, in the empties of space when I was attacked out of nowhere and shot down. I crash-landed my ship onto a nearby planet.

After leaving my ship behind, I explored the terrain and came across an attractive and sexually stimulating woman. I became excited and tried to seduce her. It was then that I realized the “woman” was made out of oranges and orange peels. I became upset, infuriated that somebody would deceive me in such a manner. I was determined to find out the culprit, and upon further investigation a forgettable dream character told me that the trickster was The Bear King. The Bear King reveled in pulling pranks and tricks, and that was how each Bear King was crowned: by pranking the previous King to become a much feared leader of the Space Bear Kingdom. I had never heard of The Bear King, but I didn’t care because revenge fueled my every move, so I decided that I would pull a prank on the King of Bears and Pranksters…and in turn I would become King. I was told that I was insane for thinking of trying, and that I’d never be able to accomplish such a feat, and that I would be killed.

I returned to the Bear Kingdom, royal bears lined the palace -- The King’s Subjects. The Bear King himself sat upon an elegant and elevated throne further into the palace. Thousands of soldier bears stood in line between myself and the throne. I then approached the throne, carrying a covered silver platter in my hands. I walked up the epic flight of steps and humbly approached the Bear King, and bowed. I told the Bear King that I gave up, that he was the greatest King ever. As an offering of my subservience, I showed the Bear King the platter. I uncovered the platter, upon which my penis lay. My dick was exaggeratedly huge, about three feet long and the width of a fire hose.

I offered my dick on a platter, and told the Bear King that it was a lollipop, a human treat of the grandest scale, that he had to suck. So, after having his ego thoroughly stroked, the Bear King accepted my surrender and started sucking my dick. Another bear realized that the King fellated me, and the Kingdom went in uproar. Ashamed and defeated for sucking my cock, the Bear King left the Kingdom as the crown was placed on my head. I became the first human Bear King to uproarious cheers.

Marijuana Horde

LUCID

Two of my roommates had a storage unit that contained giant burlap sacks which were full of stalks of marijuana plants, uncured and untrimmed. These were huge, massive amounts of weed that I KNEW would remain unused and wasted by my two roommates, because they never smoked pot a day in their lives. I don't know WHY they had it, but they did, and they were currently 'out of town.' I decided the best idea would be to go to the storage unit, prune the weed and steal it all for myself. I managed to steal a little, but perceived time constraints I was unable to get the rest of the horde so I went home.

At home I ran into my roommates, who decided to come home early for the rest of the summer. I got worried and paranoid that they were going to go back to the storage unit... but I tried to play it cool because I would be 'found out' and busted, and end up not having 'fun,'

weirdly it was this massive paranoia that pulled me into lucidity, when I said to myself "fuck this," and took matters into my own hands.

So my roommates were driving to the storage unit, and asked me to go with them. (This is where the weird stuff starts) I sat in the backseat of the car as they drove... and I immediately shifted my awareness and perspective into the body of a police officer sitting in a cruiser off the side of the highway.

I was simultaneously in the car with my roommates AND acting as the Policeman in his own car. I took it upon myself as the policeman to follow my roommates and me to the storage unit, and 'BUSTED' the roommates and confiscated the rest of the drugs as the policeman, so that the 'me' wouldn't get in trouble with the others.

Since it was 'illegal' I managed to confiscate the marijuana and gave it to 'myself' as the police-me pushed my busted roommates into the back of the cruiser, I shifted my awareness back into the 'real me' and left with the weed.

I guess the weird thing is that I didn't smoke ANY of the marijuana at all, but I was just enjoying the company of my 'Bud'