memorable

I just realized I haven't had any lucids for a LOOONG time!

Jamie dreams

She's off an on again as usual. No surprise here so I'm use to it.

Started off I had another dream where we are just laying down main;y asleep. Very Comfortable dream.

Later dreams something happens to her. Jamie starts talking to me as a disembodied voice in my dreams. In these dreams I run through random buildings looking for a way out. The voice says she hates me and that she never was "real." She's not really Jamie but a spirit who wants my love and dedication anyway.

I go and check on Jamie in a dream. In it we are playing fortnite and we are hiding under a pyramid build. She keeps smiling at me. I am happy.

In later dreams I keep finding Jamie in a fortnite setting. But now she's angry and mean like the voice. I have a few dreams with low detail like this. I keep finding her and she keeps killing me causing me to respawn. Every time she kills me she says something mean. Then she's a sweaty soccer skin (The worst kind of player in fortnite.) She builds up so high and kills me again.

After a few days of this. I pray about it earnestly...

Jesus helps

I fall asleep and am shown a few HH like images. The first is me and Jamie in fortnite again. We are having a build battle. Our ramps are about to cross when Jesus places himself on top as a giant. He heals us. Another image shows me and Jamie on a hill. The top of the hill is the intended destination: where we come together. Jesus is a giant again. he has a hand around each of us on opposite sides. Jesus is crying in frustration because he is clearly trying to bring us to the top of the hill. But since he can't interfere with free will, he can't complete his work with us. My energy was blue and bright in his hand and Jamies was fiery red. One thing to note is that we were very close to the top of the hill.

Jamie is healed again

I'm on some date with Jamie. We are at a restaraunt like Denny's. She is smiling and seems happy. Can't remember any conversation but we were talking. Denny's is a magical place!

later had some HH of Jamie's face.

Other dreams:

Cheating again.

during the period where Jamie seemed possessed by something I had a dream where I was in bed with someone who looked like Jamie. There was another naked guy laying beside me... gross.

Dad

I was walking with my dad in some abandoned building or something. My old friend from work lets us into a secret area up some steps. through the door at the top we almost fall. the inside of the buuilding is being torn down by construction people so there is no landing to walk into. I float down somehow without getting hurt.

Bjork returns!

In this dream I find out Bjork recently read all of my old dreams of her. Oops. I am extremely embarrased. Bjork doesn't take it too well at first. This dream seems days long. But she builds herself a studio in the basement of some mall or something. She holes herself up in there to deal with it. She records music, builds strange art structures, and makes really interesting clothing for herself. She sometimes lets me into the studio to show me. she tells me she isn't mad but is trying to figure it out or something. She has mood swings, sometimes happy I am around and sometimes shooing me out. The end of the dream is more clear. My brother is a huge Bjork fan so I bring him there. We come to an office where a reception lady tells me that the exhibit is closed. I say I will wait for Bjork to come out. As if on cue, bjork leaves with some man. she walks past me and doesn't even look at me. Her vibes are kind of fuming though. me and my brother leave and some black girls in the mall part try to take him home. He leaves and I can't leave the mall becaus I can't find my shoes.

in a later dream she seems more cool with everything and we just sit and talk warmly.

#525 DILD

I am looking through some stuff in a large wooden chest. My father-in-law has something hidden but I can't find it. I come down from the attic and tell him that he did a good job hiding it because I can't seem to find it. Looking at him it dawns on me that I am dreaming because he has recently passed away in waking life. There are many emotions flowing through me and I telling about something I know about that I can't mention here. He's about to lose his mind that I know what I know so I then tell him that he's dead. I tell him all I know about his death. I tell him its ok. He doesn't take it very well. He seems surprised by it. I tell him that I love him and I'm sorry that I never told him that. I tell him that I miss him so much and that I am sorry he's gone. I lose the dream as it fades away and I wake up.

#526 DILD

The next night my father in law is going on about some kind of special bucket to some person. I walk up to him and he sees me. It's like he knows now and he says "Hey buddy!" with so much love and compassion. Everything comes flooding back and I know I am dreaming. Unfortunately I wake up almost immediately.

Date: January 2018

I dream that I am a child sitting on the floor of the area between the kitchen and the table in my grandma's house in Bangalore, India. There is a phenomenal sense of comfort, warmth, and happiness.

NOTE: The sense of comfort, warmth, and happiness which I felt in this dream was so powerful I spent several days after the dream depressed that I could not relive those memories nor feel those emotions as vividly as in the dream.

I am used to getting visits from loved ones that have passed on. They usually visit and give me the feeling that everything is okay. But the other night I had a dream that I was with my mom and dad (there are never two in the same dream) who have passed and one of my sisters who is still alive. We were in a restaurant somewhere in California, but the place we are at is only in the town that i live in. They never say a word, but at the same time we are all talking. Something upset me and i had to go outside. The dream shifted to us driving around and sight seeing. We come along this place where there are these to guys that were on something that reminded me of hover boards in the water and sticking long poles into something in the water. It kind of reminded me of some sort of treatment plant. We watched them for a while, then we were at dinner again and i woke up. I could feel and hear everyone. I could even tell you what my mom and dad were wearing. It didn't leave me with a feeling of dread or of calm. Just a feeling of confusion. I haven't been able to shake the dream. I am unsure if it has something to do with my mom's birthday today or if they were there to tell me something and i just haven't figured it out yet.

Date: 2007-2009

Yet another experience which was probably either a false memory or a dream, but feels very real. There was a “bubble event” at the Hard Rock Cafe which functioned close to my house, before it was shut down. This consisted of the side of the building being a large glass panel, filled with a bubbling blue substance. Looking back on it, this event would make no sense, if it indeed was real. I must conclude it is a figment of my imagination.


NOTE: Hard Rock cafe used to have cylinders filled with bubbles which as a child I was obsessed with. There was no large glass panel filled with bubbles, however.

WBTB 1.

(Dream) 2 liter capless, fried egg stairs, (knife), F, alt apartment, night, cars

(WILD) In 8 nighttime, phase out of sliding glass door, accidentally phase through ground too, end up in Medieval chambers, long tables and a closet full of loose weapons (some really unique - twisted wood with two razor sharp small blades, lots of interesting maces, no swords; see guy, attack his head but he's resilient, turns out there's beasts we need to fight, pick up a bow and some rubber tipped arrows, keep asking him for a sword, eventually wake. Was a long (5ish minute) dream!

WBTB 2.

(WILD) In dark room, burnt man interviewing someone (nasty) but as he asks questions he's sketching in some lewd, nude, and (a bit) rude drawings, he goes on to some featuring Mewtwo and I make fun of him, see I on way out, then become lucid and leave the room, transform self in mirror but mirror is inconsistent - not keeping up with my movements or angles or anything. So I take the mirror outside and fly, it reflects the stars and moon well but my face is strangely small in the middle and sort of holographic. Could feel my waking body

(WILD) Not sure beginning of dream but daytime 9 and I walk out of garage and fly towards P's house, I fly fast and high at first, then swoop down load and slow down, and start trying to "summon" an ocean because of comments I told to F last night. Beneath me there starts flowing a pretty big ocean surge, but I try to imagine the ocean in front of me now, and it doesn't, just more and more rows of houses. Slowly the houses start to thin out and I get some wilderness location, and see an interesting cave I want to explore, so I stop (which is a bit hard with my momentum going) and hover down into the mouth of the cave, but it's a lot smaller than it looked from the sky and I just fit my feet and waist in and start looking around when I wake up. Could feel my waking body



Notes: Trying two new mantras together with each other. The first is "My dream is me", reminding myself to meditate on the fact that I can take full control of the dream and not pay any mind to inhibitory thoughts or feelings that may cause me to go nonlucid or break out of a dream too soon. The second is "I wake as I wake", reminding me to lie still and do a state test each time I wake to catch DEILDs and/or do more WILDs.

early:
+ guy standing under a tree with a car up in the branches which falls and hits the ground near him, and I laugh saying "you have to learn how to pay attention!" and I show him how to pay attention to what's around me and I see lots of little baby owls up on a ledge on a wall nearby

+ standing in home looking outside at the street through a window and I see a brigade of foreign-looking workers arrive and set up what I think is a fake construction project. I think it's a front for burglary. I panic and knew I should have kept the phone number of the security team nearby for exactly such a circumstance, I'm so nervous I can't figure out where it is or how to call them. Later walking outside along a road in between fenced properties.

later:
+ at the river (with wife), is that a stone sticking up out the water? no, it's a fish fin, large round ball-shaped fish, jumps out, swallows my hand, it deflates like an empty plastic bag. There's another one in the water swimming near the shore. See more fish swimming in the river, like trout. I'm holding a fishing rod and I realize I've caught a beaver! I try to reel it in. Then it's on the bank with me and I call to (my wife?) to say how we could study the beaver's habits like how it builds dams.

+ at dinner (restaurant) table sitting next to Mr. R--d (scoutmaster), who concludes "...and so that's why prison is the best environment for me." The food he orders comes... it's chicken wings and onion rings and I'm disappointed. I want to order something. I'm trying to describe a food I want to order like a chicken pot pie.

+ flying DO (with wife?) over houses, looking down on them, see that the residents are not there and that there are open doors I think we could enter that property. Flying on the way back there's an open refrigerator with food particles strewn all about, "what a mess" I think.

+ a bunch of guys in superman costumes standing on a sort of ledge suffering through an unpleasant outdoor group exercise program led by a hot young woman. They all misunderstood because the title of the exercise class had the word "sex" in it. I save the day and encourage everyone to continue and the instructor's mood picks up and continues the class.

+ There are large/funny groundhogs popping up out of holes. Something about an old car? I see a bow-hunting warrior princess and I try to run away from her down a side road but she comes after and chases me. I pull out a knife on her and she laughs because it's so small. I join in and laugh with her about the knife being really puny. Then I pull out a nice long blade and whack it against her bicycle tires.

+ standing in my home looking out a window at the road, and I realize with surprise that I'm seeing a large school yard across the road full of young students playing. I think that I'm only seeing this for the first time because we just recently cut down all the trees lining my property and now the schoolyard is exposed. There is a particularly well-developed young woman in the group walking from right to left and I'm trying to check her out but something is getting in the way.

+ at a home, with kids and wife, the kids are going somewhere with wife, and wife chastises me saying "you have to help cleaning up". "Of course," I answer, and look forlornly around at the tremendous mess in the house, mostly large piles of Lego pieces strewn all over the place.

I dreamed that I was looking through my attic when I came across this old diary. It was the diary of a boy back in the wild west colonial times in America.

Flipping through the book I came across a very unique page. The page was displaying the stories in diary on a moving screen build into the page, which felt like every other page. Watching the moving pictures, I was drawn into the story of the and part observed, part participated in a number of adventures.

Inside the diary now, the boy was one of three. He had a brother and a sister, Dad and Mum. They were quite a wealthy family in the upper class of that time frame. They had black American servants and wore fancy dresses.

The boy was lonely though, and he had a pet cat. Him and the cat had fun playing together and romping around their country estate.

One day, the boy was wandering in the woods and he came across a Indian brave. Him and the Indian brave became good friends! The Indian brave used the friendship of the boy for his own purposes and got the boy to help him sabotage a key Industrial building...

So, the brave got the boy to help him collect kegs of gun powder and dynamite. Then, they sneaked down one night and planted it around this building, a very important one for the boys fathers business. It was located near a swamp and a river. BOOM, it went up in smoke and ashes.

The boys father held a meeting. In their large hall in the main house, there were many soldiers, servants and the whole family was there. The father was very angry!! He was discussing with the soldiers there about who had done it and interrogated the servants.

Later on that day, the boys younger brother found his diary which had all his mischievous adventures recorded in it and gave it too his Mother. She instantly know what had happened and quietly put it back down as the boys father was in the room then.

"Huh? Whats that? Let me see that Diary" The father swaggered over...

"Its ok dear, its Allen's Diary. You know, boys that age need their privacy" she reasoned as she nonchalantly took it from his hands...

__________________________________________________ ______________________________
Next fragmented Dream:

I dreamed that I was an opera singer performing in a large Orchestra. Some musical people in my family were there and I was trying to impress them with my voice. I had to sing some songs that I hadn't sung before....

In this one, I'm on a road with my friend and we're have just come from a party. Now, we are trying to hitch hike to a nearby cricket match!

we try and flag down a few cars with no success, then two more guys hike up the road and join us. Some more thumbing at cars and a truck pulls over with room for us all. We pile in the truck.

One of the guys is worried about losing his stuff in the truck and the driver tells him not to worry. Then, we talk about a few different topics including inflation of products like....bottled water! We yarn with the driver about how the price of bottled water has gone up due to inflation from this amount....to this amount!

Arriving at the cricket match, we pile out of the truck and walk down. My friend is auditioning to join the cricket team or something like that. He goes out to bowl on the field while we watch, then something weird happens.

I'm seeing him bowl from the perspective of two other senior members of the cricket team, a guy and lady. Its like I'm watching their imagination in my own dream mind.

The senior cricket lady watches him bowl and sees a super sexy strong athlete. She admires his long hair ( was't that long ) and gives it a extra sheen and also adds more muscle definition.

The senior guy in charge of the team watches him bowl and well, his imagination is boosting my friends bowling skills! In this guys mind, some of my friends ball actually curve in mid air and one actually bounced twice in the opposite direction before landing in the middle of the stumps. Weird right?

Of course, my friend was accepted into the team and he thanked me for my support. haha

So in the continuation from the last dream, Some type of humanoid Alien had saved me from earth which was self-destructing and I was now in a space vessel orbiting Earth.

The alien was discussing with me about his different ideas and thoughts of how to save earth, undo what had happened, reverse time etc etc. Stuff, I don't quite remember. The alien had developed a clone of me which was in a 'regeneration' tank.

Apparently, the clone was being used to try and help with extracting my memories of the events which happened but wasn't working. So the Alien now wanted to try something else.

He showed me this headset device which straps over my head and instructed me to imagine being back in the memories of the disaster. Then, the device would record my memories and project them onto an outside screen in his laboratory.

So, I put this device on my head, a little worried about the radiation. The alien re-assured me that it wasn't a problem.

All was black at first, then I could start to see flashes of my memories of the previous dream. Very weird. Next, I'm back in the previous dream and I literally re-play the dream, with only a few 'idiosyncrasies' and differences.

Feels weird to have re-played the dream later in the night in a Alien spaceship with a VR like headset strapped to my head!

I dream that earth has been in a large catastrophic war, not sure who between. I'm standing up on a mountain with brother E near a large city looking at the effects of the war.

The war has created a plague of black 'corruption' that is constantly spreading out and over the planets crust causing major tectonic plate splitting, earthquakes and general mayhem.

Realizing that humanity is doomed, we take off down the mountain in our car to have some last minute 'fun'. We zoom around at top speed dodging cars, people and the odd pocket of black corruption floating in the air, a precursor to the disruption of the crust.

At one point, we go inside a house that has a meeting of young people taking place. Meals are being served and the youth are discussing the disaster. We act cool and try and fit in...

back outside we zoom off out of the city and decide its time to suicide. Somehow, we had gotten our hands on some kind of nuclear material in the shape of a gas cylinder. I graciously let my brother, E go first and he kneels over the cylinder while I gas him with the intense radiation.

Just before I do it, something stops me and the dream blacks out...

The next dream in the next dream REM cycle is a continuation of this dream, it seems.

I dream that I'm in a flying vehicle. Not sure if it was a Helicopter or a UFO type vessel.

I'm in a squad of around a dozen soldiers and we're about to drop out of the aircraft down to a frozen, snowy Island where we'll do a scouting patrol run around the perimeter of the Island.

We drop down out of the aircraft into a frozen wasteland of ice, snow fighting off the cold wind with white colored winter army gear with military weapons.

I'm second in command, the leader of the group is a tough blond haired mature woman. I feel a deep sense of loyalty to her no matter what. I plod in her footsteps determined to not miss a step, fall behind or tire.

Seeming to realize why we're here I walk up beside her and faintly whisper to her out of the corner of my mouth...
"Are we here to kill them all? I'm ready, just do the signal" She knows who I'm referring to and whispers faintly back without turning her head, "No but good observation. We'll wait until they start attacking us and then we'll kill them."

In order to save those loyal to us in our squad, she'll wait until that attack us and then we'll kill them while saving those who attack us.

I nod my head in approval and we trudge on...

23 feb
Out with the buddies & girls at a place that looks far near a beach. In a restaurant with wood and windows, looks like dawn outside. Friends bring 6 pack they don’t want, considering drinking it if they don’t but need to study. We were having brunch, we move over to a larger long table that has a medium and looks like it’s seating around 15 people. Bill comes up to $115 per person? I’m trying to drink al the leftover beers but realize there’s nothing. Everyone’s freaking out as we rush in like. Everyone’s dressed nice. Im in line for fuck knows why and we’re near the front as the frat kids scuttle behind us in a mob. lines veering around a small ascend. Security heavy, the lady gestures toward me and says you can’t wear that black blazer; he doesn’t like that. Friends tell me it’s the line to meet and greet Elon musk. I take off my blazer and am wearing white collared shirt and white slacks. Apparently I don’t look nice enough, I look at friends and they’re dressed just as decent. Ag is wearing a plaid skirt that’s very contemporary. I say fuck this I don’t know or care who or the hell Elon is and sit aside, watch the line from and exit on a stair/4 and vape. drunk asian man rushes outside with door open and pisses, security glaring at him as they poke their heads out. I grab my coats and cuddle with them. Ones too big and baggy and purple.

24 feb
The same place as yesterday, but I were sight seeing with family this time
Trying to get away from family and sister as they’re becoming a nuisance and they’re looking at empty town houses, looks like we’re in a big rustic city. I wander off to go to a pub to grab a pint
Too many people, looks like frat kids shoulder to shoulder again. I make my way towards back patio outdoors. Seems the friends are all outside in another long table seating a lot of people. See our big gay boy and try to maneuver over railing but the waiters glare and friends say they tried but to just go around. I do and sit. Go to bathroom across a 50m grass field I don’t know why and see gal. We chat. I don’t remember where the afternoon took us.

WBTB when F left for work. As I got back in bed I thought briefly about LDing but didn't MILD or anything. I relaxed and drifted, but right before I slipped out of consciousness I snapped back into awareness and began to feel the waves of vibrations. I was having the transparent eyelids effect and could see I was in a replica of my room. I had some expectation of SP/RA since I've had a few pretty spooky instances of that lately when I've MILDed (or sometimes when awaking from a DILD). However none came, and I started drifting up and to the right. I relaxed and let myself go.

Slowly I floated over to one of the walls and when I felt my dream body was free, I pushed off the wall onto the floor and walked down the hallway. I said "lights" and hoped that would work but it rarely does and didn't. I decided to do the thing that almost always fucks up my WILDs and phase through my window, hoping that that would be more successful than walking through my almost pitch-black apartment. This time instead of trying to phase through the curtains (which I always do for some reason), I pulled back the curtains and phased through the glass. It was double-paned with about six inches of separation between the two, so I thought I may have trouble getting through, but I decided to expect it to work, and it did.

Outside seemed like my apartment grounds at first, but it became clear that I was in the quad of my old college campus. I floated down (my whole body was engaged, it was a nice and quite physical dream, with some light gravity). I aimed my fall and landed on a nice bush, grabbing it with my hands and balancing myself on it with my feet, before I dropped to the ground. It was still night, and everything was lit by tall streetlamps along the path. One of them had its box cracked open, with the plastic exposing lots of thin red and blue wires. I walked along for a bit and then woke up.

#524

I don't quite recall this perfectly nor am I sure what triggered lucidity but I'll try to put the pieces together.

I think how it started is with me noticing something about a FA making me wonder if I was dreaming. I do my fave RC, the nose plug, and announce that I am dreaming. Something about saying that and it being true filled me with that old feeling of amazement and wonder. Every time I say this throughout the rest of the dream I am filled with the same feeling.

I don't do much because I keep falling back into FA but somehow I keep catching on to it. I don't know how many time I work up to realize it was a dream but I feel like it happened a lot. Maybe that's a false feeling but it seems true.

I remember that at some point I watch a dream materialize from darkness. I rub my hands together and examine them for stability. I look around at several people staring at me. It looks like I am in a classroom. I tell them all that I am dream. All of this is a dream. You are in a dream. Some look at me with blank expressions some of them look at me like I am crazy. I tell them I will prove it by putting my finger through my hand. It almost works but doesn't quite get there. I try to think of it as reaching through empty space. I doesn't quite work to my satisfaction. I tell them maybe this is a bad example.

I recall another time of trying to phase through a glass or mirror.

At one point I clap my hands for stability and am momentarily fooled by an FA. I realize I have been moaning (perhaps not I don't know. I have recorded myself on my sleep app moaning so who knows lol). I think I must have woke my wife. She tells me I was clapping and talking in my sleep. Then I think nope this is typical FA stuff. I never act out my dreams. I relax and see a kaleidoscope of psychedelic geometry and color. I enjoy this for as long as it lasts. I don't know how long. Maybe I lost lucidity for a moment. Maybe not.

I now I am walking someplace. I explore my surroundings. I don't quite recall what it was. I continue to tell people I am dreaming but they don't respond. I don't really care. There was more but I forget.

I finally wake up for real ( I think) and I feel uncomfortable so I roll to my side. I am confinement I'll renter the dream state lucidly but unfortunately I don't recall anything after that.