task of the year

I was hanging out with my brother and I decided to go to my Father room. I see my Father and Mother both lying down. I grab my hoodie and went in to the living room. My brother and I began to talk. I told my brother there's this feeling that has been getting more apparent these pass months. It seems to be growing a lot more and I don't really know what to do. My brother ask me try to describe it? I told him it's like a lot of paranoia, I'm not sure who I am anymore or if there's any control over it. That's when things got extremely bright in the dream environment. My brother told me the paranoia was probably just me trying to find a way to myself. I began telling my brother this light is effecting me. How do I stop it, is this a dream? as I begin to feel a lot of pain. However my brother said nothing and only stare at me with unusual blue eyes while it takes over. I began to feel really electrifying while becoming lucid and this feeling as if something was coming out. I tried to turn off the lights but it would keep coming on by themselves. That's when I lost it and lost all my lucidity. However I didn't find myself in till 15 seconds later vibrations, too many vibrations and it was too intense to handle. I literally was thrown out of my physical body and as I pop out I was wondering why this was happening. I look at the television black screen and realize my astral body was me at the age of 7-5 and I was bald. I felt so light and floatable and leaving my body felt like crashing sounds of water. I still felt like I was hearing water pounding somewhere. I then realize one of my goals for why I always wanted to have an OBE. I wanted to prove to my brother it exist so I can report all the things he does that I could not possibly have known if I were not there around him all the time. I phase through the door and was in the living room. I then ran up or sort of hover to the next stairs. That's when I try to phase in to the door but could not anymore. I tried again but my heart was beginning to pound harder and a lot slower. My head felt incredibly tingly and I started feeling sick and cold. Then the OBE experience ended and I got in to a dream. I open my eyes to see a man pulling a door out of mother room. I look at him as he leaves and walks down stairs. I was already lucid again and then another strange feeling happen to me again and I started to pop out of my DC's body and started flying but it felt like someone else was controlling me as I glided through the air to this constructive broken building. I landed down and just look at the sky. I could tell it was the afternoon judging from the sky appearance. Then this kid riding his bike stop near me and ask a question, who lives up there? I look at him and yelled hey! I ask him could he hear me? I yelled hey two more times but he seem like he could not hear or see me. I decided to give up and enter the building. I flew up the stairs and tried to get to the main door. I had this strong urge like I was meant to be here at this very moment. That's when a man called out to me saying I have to leave.

Before I had the chance to say can he see me? I instantly knew this building was about to blow up. I flew and grab him while we both hid in the back corner as it all collapse on itself. That's when the man said thanks and I decided to phase through the wall and fly off in to the now grey rainy sky. My head felt so amazing, I couldn't help but feel like moving a lot. Finally I had the time to think for myself and enjoy flying. I was happy, I finally had my first OBE experience as I spun around in the LD. After 4 minutes of being in the sky my body began to once again feel this feeling I had no words to describe and then everything went pitch black. It's like I am dying, that's when I see myself lucid falling and falling in this place completely shrouded in clouds. Finally after a minute of falling it stop and I began to have wings for some reason on my back and began lifting up slowly. Why is this happening I said again? After three or two minutes of floating up I drop down so incredibly fast, I started to see fire and heard screams. The drop felt so intense I lost consciousness. As I finally began to regain awareness I found myself tied up in a chair. I could tell I was in the living room however all the lights were off and this feeling again was present. I became lucid due to it and started asking when am I going to wake up? Then this voice said did I deserve it? I ask what's going on? This beast came out from the shadows and told me for me the pass weeks I have done horrible things to people. I analyze it and to me it looks like satan. I ask why bring that up? It ignores this and ask me why am I full of hate? I told it who ever said I had hatred? It begins by telling me it knows how my mind works. It tells me from knowing me I hate every single person on the planet. I laugh and said are you kidding me? I am talking to some random satan, I am lock in my own dream and have to deal with this? I don't have to justify my actions, why don't you take these ropes off me and fight so I can kill you and leave this place already. The suppose satan became angry as he summons this disfigure creature approach me and began punching me in the face constantly. While I was getting beat up the satan look at me and left. This damn creature was not going to stop punching me and eventually I black out and lost consciousness. I eventually then found myself in the garage, the lights were on and I felt a little easy now as if I had more control now. I see two people that are dead and I place both of them on a stand and left them there. I became lucid again and saw a lot of huge dolls place all over the garage. I look at them as I tried to count how many were there. That's when my finger hit this girl on her forehead and I quickly realize she was no doll. She seem frighten, that's when my consciousness became dizzy and I began to leave the dream. I found myself once again cover in darkness as I tried to find a way out. That's when I finally felt a sense of a physical part in the darkness. They were my eyes, I tried to open them and after some effort I manage open them as it strives to make me lose the sense of them. But I gain consciousness again was awake this time. Lucidity Time: 51 minutes

Ritual: WTB 1am, WBTB 4–6am. Plenty of hypnagogic imagery but hard to fall fully asleep, last noted time at 6:45am. Woke at 7:30 with dream as follows.

Alchemy: First experiment with phenylpiracetam, 100mg. Stacked with 300mg Alpha-GPC (50%), and 200mg L-Theanine. Took in first hour of WBTB (in retrospect, I think this was too early and interfered with sleep). In second hour of WBTB, drank yerba mate tea (this was also probably overkill, as it turned out).

NLD: I was in a big auditorium. No memory of what was going on there, but I was trying to climb a big pole in the center (maybe I was already prospectively thinking of Jack and the Beanstalk?) However, I felt weak and uncoordinated, and couldn't make it up very far.

Later, I ended up in conflict with a guy. He was lean and wiry, small-framed, with a short trimmed greying beard. He and my husband had been in tiny vehicles on an indoor track and this guy, for no apparent reason, started aggressively crowding my husband into the side of the track. I was so angry I chased him. He got off his vehicle and disappeared into the crowd. I kept watching his movements and followed up until I was finally able to catch up. At the last minute I wondered if I was really going to go through with my intention to beat him up when I caught him... and decided yes, he needed to learn a lesson. So when I got close enough I immediately threw a punch, dodged his return blows, and finally knocked him down to the floor.

He had a dream device on him—I took it to be his journal, but it resembled a long strip of chromed metal, several inches wide by about sixteen inches long, with some holes running along the center area. I took it away from him as a punishment. I wanted to hide it somewhere it would be hard to find, so I took it into the women's bathroom, where he presumably wouldn't think to look. There was an incinerator in there as well as a garbage can, but I decided that I couldn't destroy his journal, no matter how much I disliked him, because dreams are too important, even his. I just wanted to inconvenience him for a while, so I put the device in an inconspicuous shelf where I figured someone would come across it eventually. There were a lot of dream herbs and supplements on the shelf, apparently free for the taking, but I reminded myself that this was a public place and anyone could have tampered with them, so I'd better leave them alone, and stick to my own at home which I know are clean.

DILD: It was around this point that I remembered to RC and realized I was dreaming. My goal was to work on the fairy tale TOTYs. I had actually come across a sandwich bag containing a handful of Giant White Beans in my RL kitchen the other day, and thought that these would be ideal to plant outside to grow the beanstalks. So after getting lucid, I headed straight for the kitchen and grabbed the bag, then went outside to plant them in the little plots of soil that abut the wall of the house. I felt like I was rushing, but the dreamstate felt shallow and unstable so I was motivated to act quickly.

In the dream it was drizzling lightly, so the soil was soft and easy to work. I planted the beans by hand, three in the first plot, and then went to the next plot to plant three more. But by the fourth bean I realized that they might take a long time to germinate if I didn't hurry things along. Fortunately I had a plan for this. I had been meaning to work with the Ars Magica Form "Herbam" for a while anyway, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. Would "Creo" or "Rego" be the proper technique for this case? I decided to go with "Creo" since I was growing the beanstalks from seed.

I held my hand over the soil where I had just planted the fourth bean and intoned, "Creo herbam." After a little concentration it readily responded, a thick sprout emerging from the earth. It didn't look so much like a beanstalk as a huge stalk of asparagus, at least six inches in diameter. I figured that would be okay, as it would turn out sturdier this way... and I like asparagus. I quickly planted the other two beans in the second plot, but the stalk was growing rapidly and was already a few feet tall. There were still two more beans in the bag but I decided to save them... what if I needed to plant another stalk to get back down? Jack probably saved a few beans if he was smart.

Remembering how much trouble I had experienced attempting to climb in the previous NLD, I came up with a better idea. While the stalk was growing past chest height, I grabbed onto it and let it lift me as it grew. I wondered if this would still count for the TOTY, but figured probably, in terms of altitude I was certainly climbing, even if the stalk was doing all the work!

We went up and up. I was waiting to reach some kind of surface or platform that I could step off onto. How did this go in the story? I don't think I've ever actually read the original, and started to regret that I hadn't done a bit more research, because it was hard to imagine what kind of solid ground Jack could have encountered at the top of the stalk. Did he step onto the upper surface of the clouds? Or was there some kind of floating island? I may have been overrationalizing, but it annoyed me that I couldn't remember how this was supposed to work.

The dream seems to have responded to my confusion, because the space around me became ambiguous. I had started outdoors but now felt like I was indoors again, still on the beanstalk, which was still growing. However, it was now "growing" through what was effectively a visual loop: I noticed the same attic space passing by again and again in front of my eyes, like a skip in a record. I attempted to wait it out but it just kept repeating, so finally I figured, okay, I'll take the hint, I'll get off here.

Around this point the dreamstate was feeling very thin and shallow, and my senses felt poorly integrated. I had to focus my attention for a moment on just on staying engaged in the dream. When this awkward passage resolved, I was back in a room that somewhat resembled my RL bedroom, only now the beanstalk seemed to be growing from the middle of the bed and burst right through the ceiling. I didn't have the impression that any giant was in the vicinity. Maybe I needed to climb it again? But the hole in the ceiling was only big enough to accommodate the beanstalk. I would have to widen it if I wanted to crawl through.

This reminded me of my separate and fallback intention to work on Hansel and Gretel if the beanstalk idea went awry. My new strategy involved breaking off pieces of a house and eating it, to encourage it to turn into the gingerbread cottage of the story. I reached up with my hand to tear a piece from the edge of the hole in the ceiling. It broke off easily in my hand like rotten wood. I took a bite: it has the texture of a dry crumbly cookie but not much flavor. I tried to conjure the taste of gingerbread but I don't notice much change. I went wandering through the house looking for a witch but there's no one else home.

There's a vague section here. I can't remember if I actually ended up climbing the first stalk to end up outside on the roof, or if I just walked outside to check on the other beanstalks, but at some point I am outdoors again, and I observe that the other beanstalks I planted also grew at some point but are now brown and withered. I can't remember what became of the first one, but evidently it couldn't get me any farther than the roof. Still no giants, but I see what looks like a higher platform on top of a neighboring building. I break off a length of one of the dead stalks and try to use it to pole vault myself up onto the platform. It gets me almost to the top but not quite.

Occupying the center of the wall leading up to this platform is a very tall bookshelf, only about three or four feet in width but running all the way up to the top of the thirty or forty foot wall. After my second or third attempt to pole vault up, I realize that I can't make it all the way to the top using this method, so I get off on one of the uppermost shelves. I don't think I can finish the climb directly from here, but I have another idea. My weight is already destabilizing the bookshelf, pulling it down and me along with it, so I realize that I might be able to use the rebound effect to launch myself onto the platform. As the top of the bookshelf sinks all the way down to ground level, I climb over the top and position myself on the back of the shelf (which is level with the ground and facing up after the bookshelf has fallen all the way down). I anticipate that the whole shelf is going to rebound back into its original place, and sure enough it does. Using the force of its rebound, I jump off when I'm near the top and finally make it up onto the platform... when the dream ended.

Note: Although I managed to get a fair amount done despite adverse conditions, the dreamstate was low quality throughout. I stayed up during the WBTB about twice as long as I had originally intended, which meant I took the supplements way too early so that they were actively inhibiting sleep by the time I returned to bed, and drinking the caffeinated yerba mate on top of that was evidently a mistake. But it is hard to argue counterfactuals because sometimes if I don't overdo it, I don't get lucid at all, so it's always a tricky balancing act.

After several promising WILD attempts failed for no good reason over the last couple weeks, I was afraid I was headed into another dry spell. Then last night, when I wasn't planning to lucid dream at all—having only seven hours to sleep before getting up early for a busy day—I had spontaneous lucids all night during the few short periods I managed to sleep at all, and had to sacrifice even more sleep writing up my notes promptly (as a matter of principle). I should have known better to drink that big mug of coffee before bed on a night when I was likely to be prone to anxiety anyway, but now I can report that caffeine + anxiety make a great lucid trigger!

I went to bed at 12:30am. Knew I needed to wake at 7:30 and intended to go to bed earlier, but I never find it easy to go to bed before midnight unless I'm sick or already exhausted. Woke at 2:30am and realized that the coffee was a mistake: I was now wide awake. To counter the insomnia I started doing counting and deep breathing, basically just like my WILD practice but without the intention to LD. I counted to fifty, one number for each full breath cycle, then left off counting and did the breathing only. I'm not sure how much I actually slept—it felt like I spent a long time in a transitional state—but it was 3:45am when I woke up fully again, this time after slipping spontaneously into the very briefest of WILDs.

Brief WILD: The transition was really interesting, because there must have been a point when I was already asleep, but I still thought I was awake. I know I was confused about this because I was under the impression that while lying in bed I was selecting and leafing through fantasy-game themed magazines from a low shelf that was just to my right, apparently in the bed with me. Of course in waking life there is no such shelf set up in my bed nor any magazines of this kind within arm's reach, distinct evidence that I had dreamed the whole thing. But as I was flipping through through the magazines, I was also well aware that I was in the process of trying to fall asleep, and I even noticed a curious phenomenon: when I closed my eyes, I could still make out blurry forms and colored shapes corresponding to the content printed on the pages I was reading. This made me think that reading through closed eyelids might be a great technique for encouraging REM onset, because it was stimulating pictures to form in my mind. A great technique indeed if you can do it while you're already dreaming! But I didn't realize that at the time.

Eventually I felt the onset of that bodily dislocation that suggested I was close to a WILD transition, and encouraged it. Sometimes I levitate, sometimes I rock or rotate, but this time sinking felt more natural, so I let the sinking sensation grow while thinking, "Down, down," until I felt that the transition was complete. Then I easily "got up" out of bed. However, I still didn't have much control of the dream body, so I discovered that I couldn't stand or walk yet. Instead I collapsed face down on the floor and had to crawl. This didn't alarm me, because I often lack full motor coordination right after the transition. The environment was recognizable as my bedroom but still very murky. My mind felt incredibly active and clear, by contrast—probably because I was barely asleep.

I remember thinking distinctly, "Oh good, I haven't lost it"—meaning the ability to WILD, given that my last few attempts have gone nowhere. I crawled toward the bedroom door and remembered my task, "Fairy tales." Then I paused, realizing that I would need to improve my integration before trying to leave the room, as my WILDs tend to destabilize if I try to rush things. I thought, "Time for some clean-up"—but alas, there was no time, as I woke promptly at this.

Such a disruption was not unusual, as my early WILDs are normally strung together by multiple DEILD chains (for some reason this seems to be almost the only time I can successfully and instinctively DEILD, so I've never even counted those DEILDS as distinct dreams; instead they end up seeming more like segments of the same chained WILD). Unfortunately, I could tell at once that this time I had woken up too fully to DEILD, and even though I held very still and sought a way back into the dream, I could feel that I had surfaced past the point of re-entry, so I got up to write this. A bit disappointing, but not overly so as I have to get up insanely early tomorrow for a full day of activity, so no time to write more without cutting into sleep.

5:50am: up and writing again after two more DILDs. Both times I thought at first that I was awake in the house, but instinctively realized that I was dreaming.

DILD#1: As soon as I realized I was dreaming, I remembered my task, still determined to carry out my "Hansel and Gretel" experiment. I was already deep enough in dream to feel well-coordinated, so after getting lucid I went immediately to the kitchen and grabbed some bread from the counter. It was the end of a baguette. Last time I tried this the dream destabilized shortly after I left the house and started dropping crumbs, so this time I decided to begin more cautiously by starting the trail of bread crumbs while I was still inside the house. I walked from the kitchen to the living room, tearing off pieces of bread and dropping them on the floor. Meanwhile I was thinking to myself with amusement, "Oh man, I'd better really be dreaming. If we wake up tomorrow and it turns out I've left bread all over the floor, my husband is going to say this lucid dreaming thing has to stop!"

But I was sure I was dreaming, despite the stability and lifelikeness of the environment, so I asked myself how I could tell. I thought it would be a good moment to test the differences in self-perception between dream and the waking state. No sooner did I turn my attention to my body than I felt it—yes—that subtle tingling in the limbs that I have always associated with dream. The sensation used to be extremely prominent, especially earlier in life when lucid dreams occurred only rarely and spontaneously, but now I hardly ever notice it unless I pay deliberate attention. Unfortunately, this re-orientation of focus on my physical senses meant that I began to notice something I was hearing as well: the sound of my husband's breathing in the bed next to me. This reminded me of my body asleep in the bed, which promptly woke me up.

Upon waking, I could still hear the breathing just as I had in the dream, but with one peculiar difference: in the dream, the sound was distinctly coming from my right, but when I woke up I remembered, of course, he is sleeping to my left. Perhaps the discrepancy can be explained if I was sleeping on my left side with my left ear against the pillow so only my right ear could hear clearly? I forgot to take note of my position when I awoke.

DILD#2: After going back to sleep, once again I was doing stuff around the house under the impression that I was awake when I noticed once again: am I dreaming? Yep, pretty sure I am. Okay, well, back to work then. I remembered that I had taken the bread from the counter in the last dream, briefly worried that I might not find any more, but casually "expected" to find another loaf and sure enough it was there. I started dropping crumbs while I was still inside the house again, then went out the door to the back patio. I was still anxious about destabilization (I have tried this task several times before and haven't gotten very far, and tonight's previous episodes demonstrated that waking up abruptly was indeed a hazard) I so thought, okay, I'll just walk around the pool in circles and continue dropping crumbs until the dream shows some receptivity.

So I began circling the pool counterclockwise, dropping crumbs as I walked. When I reached the area just behind the pool I noticed the place where I had encountered "Boneface" in a previous dream and wondered if anyone would be waiting there, but no DCs were visible. However, the dream was starting to respond: already I was no longer circling the pool but on a path, walking through an environment that no longer resembled any place I know in waking life. The path led me through a dense suburban neighborhood, but I saw trees in the distance and figured a forest must be out there somewhere. I needed to reach the forest to proceed with the "Hansel and Gretel" plot.

I continued dropping breadcrumbs as I walked along the path, but then I remembered—hang on, if I'm doing "Hansel and Gretel," then obviously I can be Gretel, but I'll need a Hansel! I tried to summon him, calling out "Hans! Hans!" and "Little brother!" The dream responded promptly but unexpectedly: a little dog showed up, with long wavy fur in brown and white patches, and started trotting along with me. It looked just like a toy spaniel, but smaller, about the size of a chihuahua. I shrugged and figured, "Okay, good enough." Maybe he would turn into a boy later on, or if not, whatever. (I've always been able to summon animals easily, but have less success with human DCs, so the results weren't that surprising.)

To get more into the spirit of things, as we continued to walk along the path I started singing a song about our journey—how we had left our parents' house because there wasn't enough food, and hoped to find some in the forest. (I just realized a discrepancy in the story: if food is so scarce that they have to leave home lest the family starve, why are they wasting bread by dropping it on the ground? Or is that why mom wants to kick them out, the flagrant bread wasters!)

The dream felt very stable but I knew I couldn't be in very deep because I was having trouble with the song: rhymes weren't coming easily, like they do in deeper dream, and my melody was very simple (The Hobbit was on TV last night, and my song ended up with a similar tune and rhythm to the "goblin town" song from the movie, though naturally with very different words). When I got to the end of a line and couldn't find a rhyme, or even a suitable word, I just sort of hummed over the blank spot and kept going. Improvise! So I sang a number of stanzas in this haphazard way, dropping the bread in smaller and smaller crumbs since I was getting near the end of the loaf, while little Hans the dog trotted beside me on his tiny legs.

Finally we made it to the edge of town, and there it was ahead of us! The forest! Would we go in and find a gingerbread house, a threatening witch? I was looking forward to what we might discover. But I felt sorry for Hans and wondered if he might prefer to be carried. I picked him up and put him on my right shoulder (he was so small). No sooner had I perched him there then at once I clearly and distinctly heard a voice saying my name in my right ear—it was my RL name, and it woke me up. This happened immediately after I put the dog on my shoulder so I had the impression that he had been the one speaking, but the voice was clearly a woman's and, as far as I could make out, it sounded like my own voice.

Anyway, that woke me up past DEILD recovery so I got up and wrote again. It's now after 6am. Nothing like a short night before a busy day in which I have absolutely no time to spare for dreaming to really bring on the LDs, eh?

Starland is a "Astral Game" that anyone in the universe can play! Instead of playing Video games for hours and hours with limitations, you can create your own game... FOR FREE! Starland is for people who love to share dreams, have Astral projections, and OBE's! You can think of Starland as an "4D Infinite Open World MMORPG Game". The possibilities are endless, as far as your imagination can take you!


How To Play! : Starland is playable during OBE's ( Lucid Dreaming, Astral Projection, etc. ).

To play Starland all you have to do is imagine it! IT's THAT EASY!

*( You do not have to use these terms by any means. MAKE UP YOUR OWN TERMS IF YOU WANT )* :

You can also (optional, but highly recommended) make your very own " IMGN [HS] "( Image for short ) ". You can think of Starland's IMGN as a type of Server that you find in games today, but it's your very own server!
In a IMGN you can build your own town, city, world, galaxy, universe, or MULTIVERSE!
You can Also build your " [ HS ] ( Higher Self ) ", a character that best suites you! Your HS can be: A Knight, sorcerer, archer, healer, teacher, Guru, Builder, Inventor, philosopher, Spiritual teacher/ guide/ healer ANYTHING YOU WANT!
There are also Your " [ WAY ] ( WAY ) " Your " Species/ category/ Typing ( Type ) ".
Your WAY can look or be anything that you can imagine! You can be a Blue Knight with a yellow glowing sword,
A Bear that can jump as high as 30 stories, a Mermaid who can heal with the water element, A Bounty hunter,
A Black belt fighter, A Great Teacher , ANYTHING!

Once you're done creating your [ HS ] and [ WAY ] you can now star your adventure into your inner world!
[ If you're having trouble with any of the following task, feel free to pm Me and I would love to be of assistance! ]

Creating/ Managing Your Inner World: You can Create Your Own Inner World How Ever You Like! You can make it as big as earth or as small as Pluto, or even smaller! You can have many worlds even galaxies! You can color your worlds and have anything in them like jungles, cities, towns, homes, you name it! You can also invite friends to come and adventure in your world! ( You can also set your world to a population limit or friend(s) only limit )
[ If you would like you can come to my world " ToyBox" and I could help you get started! :D ]

Adventuring: In Starland You can go on Billions of adventures throughout the Universe! You can also rack up points from adventuring called " [ AP ] ( Adventure Points ) ". AP is calculate by how much and how long you adventure in Starland! The Higher the AP, the more prizes/ Items you can obtain. [ You can also choose not to have AP :D ]
There are also "Adventure Stories" you can choose to play with different levels: [easy, medium, hard, very hard, Hero ]

Party/ Groups/ Clans/ Organizations : You can also create your own "[ PRTY ] ( Party) " with your friends to go on adventures with! You can name your party ( group/organization/Clan etc. ) anything you'd like! Partys can consist of all warriors, healers, inventors, or even Teachers ANYTHING! A Party can also have a combined A.P. Count of all the adventures they went on together.
[ You can also join my Party " StarParty " for assistance on any form of a OBE]

How To Beat The Game: Well there isn't a specific way to beat Starland, but the main purpose of Starland is to let you fuse with your higherself, meet your sprit guides, and adventure on to the 5D. It's A game of FUN and LOVE and only LOVE and FUN!

So feel free to play! and PM me for details or concerns! And have fun!
_
Love
Myu <3

[This is a beta of the game ]

Ritual: Went to bed at 2am, much later than I had intended. Wanted to wake up between 4-4:30 if possible so I could make a sandwich for my husband to take on his flight. Didn't set alarm, only intention; if it didn't work, that was fine. Woke up promptly at four so got up and went to the kitchen. Then I realized if I didn't stay up to give him the sandwich he would never know it existed, so in the end I didn't go back to bed until after he left at 5. I repeated my tasks aloud a few times to make them easier to remember, using simple keywords: "eyeball, calcifer, fairy tale." Wanted to give SSILD another fair shake after recent lack of success—been falling asleep too easily. After this hour-long WBTB I arranged a ramp of pillows to elevate my upper body and settled back to do SSILD, supposing that the half-reclining would help inhibit sleep. It did—and I realized I had been semi-dozing rather than really sleeping when I got up again at 5:40 and decided to dismantle the pillow-ramp to get some proper sleep. I didn't notice REM during any of these sleep and half-sleep periods so I wasn't optimistic, but I did a couple SSILD cycles on my side before drifting off to sleep fairly quickly. It was 6:30am when I woke up for real (after FA) and began this account.

FA: "....it ignored me, and I felt silly talking to a fire."

Okay, guess now I have to start over. Wrote half of the account up in FA. Which is funny, because when I woke up I did sense that I could probably re-enter the dream state but decided not to because I wanted to write a solid report on what I'd done so far. And here I had felt so responsible and industrious! I wrote down quite a bit but only remember the last line word for word, so I reproduced it above. It's interesting that it is worded in the past tense. My dream reports often swap randomly between past and present tense but the present tense predominates.

DILD: I was in my bedroom in the half-light of early morning, and I heard voices outside the room. This confused me, because no one else should be home right now. One of them sounded like my brother, but he shouldn't be here. And I could hear another voice, a man's voice I didn't recognize. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand, thinking I'd dial in "9-1-1" and have the call ready to go if needed before I investigated further, in case it was burglars or something.

The phone wasn't working. It seems to be stuck on the calendar app, and even this is in some weird and confusing format. I keep pressing the main button to try to get back to the home screen so I can reach the page to dial from, but nothing helps. I still hear the voices and worry that the intruders might come into the room before I can get the phone working and then I'll have no recourse. Should I go outside to the back patio, so it will be easier to run away if necessary? At some point the absurdity of the whole scenario finally strikes me and I wonder if I'm dreaming. Since no one is around to see, I do a quick nose pinch. I can breathe easily. So I am dreaming! Oh good, there were tasks I needed to get done! I realize that since this was a DILD, I'm probably already fairly well-integrated into the dream state and check my impressions. A bit of roughness as I begin to move but not too bad, and the dream feels stable. I don't feel the need for further stabilization as long as I can avoid letting the paranoia of waking wake me up, so I put it out of mind and walk rapidly to the kitchen.

I've brought my phone and figure it might come in handy at some point later on, so I try to slide it into the pocket of my skirt. Trouble is, I'm not wearing a skirt. I make the "sliding into pocket" gesture a few times, intending a long skirt with pockets to manifest, but it doesn't and the phone falls to the floor. Whatever. At least the pattern is in place, so I feel confident that I can get it out of my pocket later if I need it.

I grab the bread from the kitchen counter, noting that it is a packet of round pita bread rather than the sandwich loaf that is there in waking life, and head out to the patio. Which task first? I love the idea of Howl's Moving Castle so I decide to start with that one. First I try to summon the castle directly, not through any special method, just willing it to approach on its own legs. It doesn't appear promptly, so I start with plan B: conjure a fire, call it "Calcifer," and feed it until it becomes strong enough to build the castle from the ground up. The first part should be easy; I've practiced conjuring fire before in this very spot. So I hold out my right hand and concentrate on creating a flame in my open palm. There's just one problem. It is raining, quite heavily actually. Typical dream perversity! I'm trying to fill my palm with fire, but meanwhile it is filling up with water. I ignore the dream's little joke, and keep concentrating on the fire.

Sure enough, I shortly begin to feel the heat and see the brightness of the flame. I set it on the ground and start feeding it chunks of pita bread, calling it "Calcifer" and trying to coax it to respond. It grows larger at first, but doesn't show any sentience, and now the rain is causing it to dwindle despite my attempts to feed it. I decide to continue this experiment indoors, out of the rain. I pick up the fire, just carrying it in my hands, go inside and set it down again on a flat stone ledge, about two and half feet in width and height (the interior of the house no longer corresponds in any way to RL). I feed the fire and continue calling it "Calcifer" to try to get a response, but it ignores me, and I feel silly talking to a fire. I go outside, careful to take the fire out again with me so as not to leave it untended in the house, and fly up in the air before releasing it. I instruct it to go seek out Howl's Castle, hoping that it might reappear at some point later point in the dream.

I return to the ground, once again in a place recognizably like my back patio, though it is no longer raining. What next? I realize the eyeball task should be quick and easy, if I can stomach it, so I ought to knock that one out of the way. I consider going inside the house to use a real mirror, but I don't want to waste time so I stand outside the sliding glass door to the kitchen and rely on the faint reflection of myself I can see there. There is nothing unusual about my reflection—much less so than usual, actually. When thinking about this task in waking life I had decided (for the sake of safety and squeamishness) to try to remove the eyeball in a more hands-off way, simply raising my palm and trying to pop it out through will alone, but now that I'm ready to go I don't even remember that idea. Instead I lift my right hand to my right eye and just start digging in there. I feel a momentary discomfort, enough to make me think, "I'd better be damn sure I'm dreaming!" before I feel the fingers slide smoothly into the socket with little pain, and this reassures me.

The eye pops out easily, but it is attached to a surprisingly thick, gross, fleshy stalk. Even at the time I realize that my experience has probably been colored by other accounts of this task I've already read on the DV thread, some of which mention similar stalks. The stalk is inconvenient and ugly so I keep pulling until the eyeball breaks free, then turn it around to inspect it. It looks remarkably like an eyeball. I had been hoping that it would transform into something cool, like an orb of glass or even a jewel. But nope. It is a disturbingly life-like eyeball, with a distinct iris and pupil and even a bit of red tattered membrane where the stalk had been attached. When I aim the iris and pupil toward me, they already look dead and unseeing, so it doesn't occur to me to try to use this eyeball to see with. Also, although I don't take note of this at the time, in retrospect I can report that there was no subjective change in my experience of vision; I was still "seeing" as though with two intact eyes.

I had meant to look at my reflection again after pulling the eye out, but I forget to do so. Instead I'm absorbed in inspecting this very ordinary-looking eyeball and trying to find any notable details to report. I do observe that the iris seems to have changed color: from the initial blue it has faded to a drab brown. It is still kind of creepy to be holding my eyeball, so without experimenting further I pop it back in. Luckily no difficulties there, and only then do I remember to check my reflection. I look normal and still don't notice any changes to my vision. I feel a momentary regret that I didn't remember to try to transform the eyeball into something else before putting it back in, but I feel reasonably satisfied with the task so I'm ready to move on.

Now I'm down to the last of the three tasks I'd planned, and I feel a bit apprehensive. In one way or another, this damned Hansel and Gretel idea has been eluding me. But I still have my bag of pita bread, so I get started: my plan is to start dropping breadcrumbs as I walk, hopefully find myself in a forest, and see what happens from there. I re-read the story a few weeks ago in my copy of Brothers Grimm, but I haven't tried to flesh out the intended scenario because I want to give the dream leeway to respond creatively to my breadcrumb trail. So I start walking across the patio and dropping crumbs, and now I just have to figure out which way to go. My original plan had been to start on the street in front of the house, which had once transformed into an ideal forest in a previous unrelated dream, but now I'm behind the house and want to get started right away rather than have my plans potentially disrupted by a detour. It's okay, I'd planned for this too. I figured the hill behind the house might be wild enough that I could start climbing it and work it into a suitable forest. However, now when I look in that direction, I see a paved concrete footpath that leads between suburban houses with neatly trimmed lawns. Dream is being perverse again. In the opposite direction is a second path, smaller, with a similar suburban aspect. Which one will lead me sooner to a forest? Both look completely domesticated. I figure I'll just start with the first one and try thinking "forest" as I go. I start off, dropping my bread crumbs, but with no warning I wake up—or out of the dream, at least. As mentioned above, I sensed that I could re-enter the dream state but decided to write my report instead, was under the impression that I had gotten up, and wrote for quite a while before waking up for real.

After some non-lucid sequences in my hotel room, I found myself in the kitchen of my house. I knew I was out of town on a trip, so I felt like I was just checking in. However things were a mess, even I knew the catsitter had been coming. There were lots of bowls of food out but they looked old and uncleaned, and the water was dirty. I went over to the sink to start washing them and I noticed that the sink was already full of dirty dishes. However, I distinctly remembered that I had done all the dishes before leaving on my trip. "Does this mean I'm lucid?" I thought to myself, and decided, "Of course, certainly," and felt that I had been aware that I had been dreaming all along even though I evidently had not been until I noticed the discontinuity. (In one of the earlier sequences I had been confusing about whether I was awake or dreaming to the point where I felt convinced that dream events were impinging in impossible ways on waking life.) I wondered if there were other discontinuities and looked around. I noticed that the catsitter had not taken the check I left for her, and that seemed odd. Wouldn't she have taken it on the first visit? However, I realized that this wasn't necessarily a discontinuity, because there might have been plausible reasons for her to have left it until later.

I started washing a dirty bowl at the sink, one that the cats could use, but then I reflected, "If I'm lucid, maybe I should go do something else. I know! I'm in my kitchen, it would be a great opportunity to go outside and leave a trail of breadcrumbs to try to do the Hansel and Gretel task. But first I'll just wash this bowl and leave some fresh food and water for the kitties." So I stayed at the sink and continued washing the bowl, and also washed and refilled a water bowl.

Even though the dream felt very stable to start, I was a bit paranoid that it wouldn't last long enough to let me get to my more interesting task, and I felt like this anxiety about waking was pushing me closer to actually doing so, and tried to put it out of mind. However, I soon felt my senses disengage and half-woke. But I didn't lose the mental image, and after a moment felt my senses re-engage and knew I was back in the dream. So I rushed to get a can of catfood and put it in the bowl I had now cleaned. A dream version of one cat came out and didn't seem interested in the food I had selected, though I figured, maybe this is a good thing, because if the catsitter feeds her food she likes better, the cat (who is very skittish) might feel more friendly to her. Just as I had finished this and was ready to start on my new task, I woke up again, and though I held very still, the dream state was too disrupted to re-enter.

I was a bit annoyed with myself for wasting a lucid opportunity, but I understood my rationale. Even though I knew I was dreaming, I was not comfortable with the idea of leaving my dream-cats ill-tended, so that took priority over any other task. However, the error I made was in tending to them using the tedious methods of waking life: actually standing at the sink and washing bowls, actually going to another room to get the food and walking back with it, opening the can and using a spoon to empty the food into the bowl. I guess I did it this way out of habit, as it certainly felt like I was going through very familiar motions. I should have just manifested some clean food and water and then gotten to my task much more quickly.

Ritual: Went to bed around 12:50am. Woke naturally at 3:32. Seemed a bit soon to WBTB but my motivation was good and I recalled traces of imagery so decided to go for it. Drank guayusa tea and read Brooks & Vogelsong. Before going to bed did hybrid of SSILD/counting/affirmation while sitting in chair. Technique: counted incrementally while breathing slowly and deeply, thinking the number on each in-breath, and on outbreath rotated between senses (thinking "look," "listen," or "feel") and then adding an affirmation, letting it fall randomly between "always lucid" or "always aware." Counted to fifty in this way, though I was impressed how easily it was to lose track of the number (this is good, it means the mind is losing its focus on waking life) even while sitting upright in a chair. Returned to bed at 4:52am and continued counting up to 70 while lying on my back, then ceased the practice and turned on my left side to sleep. I soon realized that I'd overdone the WBTB a bit and was excessively wakeful, but consoled myself that I should be able to return to sleep eventually given how few hours I had gotten so far, and my chances for WILDing should be improved by this touch of insomnia.

I had made sure to fix a very clear task in mind: I had read about the "fairy tale" challenges on DV and they seemed potentially interesting, but I realized I should make a clear plan. If I did successfully WILD I would find myself in my house, so how would I go about pursuing the task? My idea was this: grab a loaf of bread from the kitchen, exit the front door, turn right and walk up the hill, where in a previous WILD I had passed through a tunnel and found myself in a deep, dark forest. I could leave a trail of bread crumbs and see what happened from there.

WILD #1: It took a long time to go back to sleep. Eventually I felt sensations I interpreted as the onset of SP: tingling and distortion of the physical body, then a sense of weight on my chest so localized and specific that I wondered if the cat had actually jumped on me, but the weight quickly increased beyond that of any cat. I was encouraged because it seemed like this transition was happening very cleanly and consciously, and turned my attention to beginning to "move" the non-physical "body." I was careful not to wiggle my fingers or adjust my limbs lest I break SP, so I concentrated on unnatural movements like full-body rotation. I could begin to feel my body swinging in a horizontal rotation but didn't yet have enough traction to "get up" out of bed. Suddenly I felt a vertical "lift" as though my body had floated up several feet, and the next moment I was standing on my feet next to the bed. "And I'm up!" I thought to myself, pleased.

I noticed right away how dark it was, and despite the clarity of the transition, I did not feel well-integrated into the dream body. I deduced that this was probably a consequence of weak REM-state, given how little sleep I had gotten before the WBTB. I thought I'd better do some stabilization, so I touched some surfaces around me and then rubbed my hands together. This felt lifelike enough, so I became too easily complacent and didn't do anything further to integrate... a mistake, as it turned out. But I was pre-occupied with performing my task and didn't want to get distracted to the point where I never left the antechamber, as so often happens, so I rushed to get started.

I moved swiftly toward the kitchen and picked up the bag of bread from the counter as I passed through. It felt quite full, and I recalled that I had bought a new bag just the other day in waking life. Although the environment was still very muddy and vague, I could easily find my way through the house out of habit, so I headed straight for the front door. As I was crossing the threshold, I noticed that the bag of bread suddenly felt very light, as though there were only a few slices left. I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I should return to the kitchen, but didn't want to be distracted from my task, so I figured, "That's alright, I can always manifest more."

I walked out into the night, the outdoor environment no more distinct than the indoors had been, but I knew where I was going. I turned right and began to walk uphill, reaching into the bag to start dropping breadcrumbs. To encourage the right environment to appear, I started muttering under my breath: "Entering the world of Hansel & Gretel. Entering the world of Hansel & Gretel." But I only got off two recitations before I abruptly awoke. I realized my error at once: the dreamspace outside the antechamber is always less stable, and in my impatience to get started on the task, I hadn't integrated properly before exiting.

I lay for a long time in the position I woke in. Often I can seamlessly re-enter a WILD if I half-wake and don't move. But this was no half-waking: my mind was fully awoken and I soon realized that holding my position would be of no use, sleep had well and truly gone. I used the bathroom so it wouldn't pre-occupy me later and returned to bed, lying on my other side now to make a fresh start. By now the sun was rising so I got out my sleep mask from the drawer. I hate wearing it, but I could tell the light would be disruptive today. I considered checking the time but was trying not to stimulate wakefulness any further, so deliberately decided not to. It was evidently around sunrise, anyway, which occurred at 6:01am today according to Google. That was well over an hour after I had finished my WBTB and the dream can only have lasted a few minutes, so it must have taken me a very long time to fall asleep beforehand.

WILD #2: I lay on my right side and tried to keep a positive attitude: of course I can do it again! I re-WILD all the time! Not usually from such drastic awakening, admittedly, but I didn't let myself focus on the negatives. I wondered if I should rise and write a report, but reflected that there was little to report apart from the exact wording of the phrases I had thought or spoken, and these I had already scrawled in my notepad. The rest, what little there was, would be easy to remember. So I let go of those worries and focused attention on my breathing, remembering not to "try" to fall asleep but just let it happen. Eventually, it did.

Whereas the previous transition had been so vivid, this time I was surprised to find myself simply standing at the foot of the bed. I hadn't noticed the separation. But at least I remembered where I had gone wrong in the last attempt, and reminded myself: don't rush it. Get traction. Find something to do in the antechamber to better immerse yourself.

I noticed that this time the bedroom was full of books, stacked in messy piles and filling bags all over the floor. I figured that these would provide a good opportunity to more fully engage my senses in the dreamspace. So I selected a few and carried them with me as I moved out of the room. The kitchen floor was also covered with books, so many piles and stacks that was actually hard to pick a path through them. I was picking up volumes more or less at random until I noticed what was clearly an artist's sketchbook, a spiral-bound 9"x12" Strathmore, on top of one pile. "Oh, I should look at that!" I thought, and grabbed it. Finally I made my way to the living room, where I found a small oriental rug on the floor (about 2'x3', black pattern on a white background) and sat down on it to begin to peruse my books.

I chose the sketchbook first, because I was the most curious what I might find inside this one, and dream pictures tend to be easier to perceive and remember afterwards than dream text. The first picture I saw upon opening it was a portrait of what looked like a tribal chieftain, showing the upper half of his body and filling the whole page. He looked about middle-aged, with angular but weather-beaten features. The most distinctive element of the portrait, dominating most of the visual space, was the enormous headdress he was wearing. It wasn't made of feathers or any obvious RL material but seemed composed of abstract patterns with a Mayan styling to them. I took note of the colors. The headdress was all in shades of red, mostly an earthy brick shade. There were constrasting shades of muted green in the distinctive wide straps criss-crossing his body in various places. It didn't occur to me at the time, but the obvious deduction is that these straps were there to secure the enormous headdress.

After looking carefully at the first drawing, I turned the page. The next image I saw was more cartoon-like. The page was divided into four rectangular panels, each one the width of the page, and stacked vertically. There was a caption, though I don't remember if it was above or below the panels: "Doyle Oss Toss." How clever, I thought... until I realized that it didn't rhyme as well as I had thought at first, because I was aware from the start that "Oss" meant "Owl" but soon realized that the RL word had been distorted unrecognizably to fit the rhyme. My dream texts often demonstrate this tendency to favor rhyme and alliteration over comprehensible meaning.

The four panels showed the Doyle Owl being punted by a large shaggy grey wolf. The Owl was on the left, the wolf on the right, and the setting suggested the outdoors but was very plain, with little in the background to distract the eye. The sky behind them was dark. The first panel showed the Owl already in mid-air, with the wolf's head lowered, evidently having just head-butted it. The second panel showed the Owl about halfway down, in the act of falling, the wolf's head still lowered. The third panel showed the Owl having come to rest again on the ground, the wolf's position unchanged. The last panel showed the Owl lying on the ground where it had fallen, and now the wolf had lowered its haunches into a crouch and lifted its head toward the sky, howling in what I interpreted as triumph.

I think I might have spied one more drawing but I don't remember it, because around this time I woke up. In a false awakening. Which I didn't recognize. Responsibly, I immediately began to record the dream on my notepad, first sketching out the four-panel cartoon I have just described. After completing that, I started blocking out the tribal chieftain, and made some notes about the colors. I think I wrote about the green straps first, and when I started trying to describe the particular shades of red in the headdress, the dream began to evolve, and I thought I remembered dreaming that I was a sultan who had a vizier who wore a turban constructed of red cloth in various textures and shades, including a dark red kerchief. It's possible that this image relates to a drawing from the original sketchbook that I've forgotten, because as I was jotting down notes about color of his headgear a new visual appeared, where I could see the vizier from above and behind, with a clear vantage on the dark red kerchief, and I was surprised because I knew that I had not previously seen him from that perspective.

Before the FA could evolve any more, I woke up for real and recognized that I had just been writing my dream report in another dream, and I'd better get up and do it properly. In this case I didn't mind the delay because writing it down in the FA had helped cement the details in memory (this is not always the case). So I started jotting down my notes on the notepad next to my bed... only to realize soon after I'd started that even though I was more or less awake now, I still wasn't actually doing it, I was still just experiencing a kind of half-dreamed enactment of writing, and I should stop tricking myself and physically get out of bed so I could be sure I was doing it properly. So I got up and hastily sketched out the four-panel again—noticing with amusement how much crappier it looked in RL than in the more elegantly sketched version from my initial FA. I noted the time of rising as 6:56am, and recorded the rest of the dream on my laptop.

All of a sudden, I was at my school during an athletic event. Swimming in partic-tac-ular. I was sucking except for the basketball portion in which I aboslutely killed at. Basketball in the water, except you use a floating beach ball. This competition was inside btw. I thought "Hell or high water, I'm going to get a medal TODAY." Just then, the water rose for more in-depth competition. A dialogue box popped up that said "At this altitude of water, there may be sharks. Be on the lookout." Then I thought
"Why would there be sharks in an indoor competition?" This was my first clue that it was a dream.
I finally did an event correctly. Swam 20mph in the sprint. Then I thought "Wait, I'm not even athletic, what's this?" I wanted it to be my turn so bad, that it actually came true. The rotations had smiled upon my liking, and I showed them who's boss.

I talked to the kids post-game. There's this one who's the hotshot of the school; athletic, smart, cool, etc. He doesn't want me near him in real life because "I'm not worthy of his presence" or something like that. Since I had showed my brightside to him, I thought he'd look the other way. Nope. He said some snobby stuff, but then I said:
"This is a dream, Ethan. We can do whatever we want. I can do whatever we want."
He replied "Bullsh*t."
I raised four miniature geysers of lava and shot ice crystals at his feet from nowhere. Not one of them hit.
"Jesus christ, this IS a dream!"
"Yes, didn't I tell you?"
I saw the fear in his eyes.
"Everything is wrong here. Nothing is right, but that's what I need to fix. If I grant you powers, the dream will become unstable, I'll leave and live my normal life, while you're here, stuck with the tyrannic rulers."
I had his full attention now.
"Omnipotent rulers?"
"Yes. They're using you as fuel. You are slaves to them. I'll clear them out so you can go back to your life, or stay here if you desire. Stay safe."
The truth was stranger than fiction though. I had unplugged myself [woke up] and found myself in a whole new setting. The world was dark, and people were handing their electronic devices to men that looked like Agent Smith from The Matrix while they sat in cars with guns. I ran straight into the school as sentinels flew above me.
"Mrs. Swenson, what's going on?"
"Come with me."
This part of my dream skipped out, but I knew it. I had the power. to test this, I went into an elevator. I pushed 1 "ground level" and said "Cut power to elevator"
The elevator sparked and warped a bit. I was then actually afraid as I drifted back into naivete. I almost lost my grasp on my lucidity.
I found myself no-clipped out of the world. Much like in Half-Life 2, or Portal. When you can fly around and through objects, and see the entire map in a grayish blue box-ish outline full of objects.
This was frightenting. The force at work here was much stronger than me, so I warped home. I immediately looked out my window. An agent in a red tie in a black buggy looked up at me. I saw the coldness and emotion, or lack thereof, in his eyes. He drove away.
I then woke up AGAIN, to find that I was on Newgrounds. The endeavors I experienced were a Newgrounds Flash Animation. But I knew there was another level to this.
I went to World's End, an ethereal location in the game Magicka. World's End is what it sounds like. Barren floating islands with a very beige, green background. There was a path. I had a showdown with the Beast himself. My inner demons. He wielded a large club, and I made myself twice his size. I couldn't stomp on him. I couldn't block him. I had to wait until he was out of breath, and land the finishing blow. I punched him off the barren island into No-Man's Land. He fell down into the deep, foggy abyss.

I'm much happier now, tbh.

I would like to share my experience with lucid dreams and astral projections. This morning was very exciting because I have been studying and learning loads about the subconscious and how to astral project. When I researched the dangers of astral projection I was scared but those "dangers" were only assumptions none of the "dangers" have ever been experienced or recorded, as of yet. So After researching and learning this, I still had mixed feelings and tons of questions "what if" "what if" was all I kept thinking. Moving forward, right now I am going through a transformation in my life. It is not only a physically one but more of a spiritual essence.

I have been constantly focusing on using the law of attraction, I have gotten so in-depth with this law that I have ruled out all music, movies, tv shows, etc until I reach my goal. This way I can not be subliminally affected through media and advertisement while using the law. I have replaced music for ETFs, 432hz music and affirmations. I play these constantly throughout the day. I have become so accustomed and obsessed with this process of growth until it works (which it has already, everyday).

Now that I got all that out of the way....I want you all to know something, in order for anything to work you have to feel it! In your mind, heart, and soul. You must have a BURNING DESIRE, for whatever it is you may want in your life to manifest itself. I feel myself having already reached my goal. You must also use present-tense affirmations and talk. Feel as if you have already reached your desired goal. Speak as if you have already reached this goal. Live as if you have already manifested this goal. For example: If you want a new Cadillac, go on the website and build your dream car. Look at the inside,imagine how it would feel, how it would smell, what music you would play in your new car,etc. Look at it or go to website to build it everyday. Look at the price as if you have the money to purchase it. Feel good about the car from your heart have a strong desire for it.

Lastly, I will detail my experience with lucid dreams and more. I have lucid dreams often, it was not until recently that I decided to use them to benefit me. Now when I found out I could use them to see winning lottery numbers I was immediately interested. Often you read people doing it and only getting a few numbers. This is may be true for the first time, but do not let this discourage you. You must do research and constantly grow your mind and psychic energies. Continue to influence your subconscious through affirmations and constant research and reading of books pertaining to this. Persistence and influence is key.

When I first tried this on my lucid dream let me tell you it was hard, it was like when I had trained my mind enough to remember the goal when I had a lucid dream. I would tell it, while in this lucid dream to " show me winning lottery numbers" and the first time it went blank and I would up. See I did not get frustrated or upset, I kept on believing in myself. To make a long story short. This morning, I was a little stressed about financial matters and instead of continuing in the "poverty conscious" I calmed down and focused on being grateful for not coming from poverty or living in poverty and forgave myself for worrying in the "poverty consciousness" about finances.

After doing this I laid down and visualized myself, as my higher self, living the life I have a BURNING DESIRE for and with all the love, wealth and happiness I could ever hope for. Going past my visualization I went fast to sleep. In this dream, I was with my family and we were happy at the highest level I could of ever imagine. My parents and siblings all together enjoying life. In this lucid dream, we had drove past a gas station and this gas station triggered my mind to remember to get winning lottery numbers. Before I knew it, the dream shifted and I was on a computer searching the game I wanted to win and the future numbers. Both mega and powerball came up. Then something amazingly strange happened the numbers came up in a motion so serial, as if I was watching the numbers being drawn that day. At this moment they ordered themselves in numerical order from smallest to largest and became colored. Then the numbers just froze there. And I quickly memorized them. It was strange because they just stayed there for me to look at for as long or short as I wanted.

Then something triggered me and I began to ask myself "is this real", once my soul was AWARE that I was not in my body and I thought of my body then I quickly returned to my body. This was strange, I saw and felt myself joining back with my physical self. And contrary to popular belief, I remembered all 6 numbers! It was as if the numbers were stained into my memory so deep that I remembered them throughout the day. In conclusion, DO NOT BELIEVE THOSE THAT SAY IT IS IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE IT IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE AND IT IS NOT DANGEROUS, ALWAYS PROTECT YOURSELF WITH ANGELS AND STUDY, STUDY, STUDY, TRAIN, TRAIN, TRAIN. Without persistence, determination and knowledge from your heart, results may vary.

I'm walking out of a building, perhaps a large hotel, onto a sand dune. The dune slopes downwards to a beach with waves crashing. The water is a deep blue, and oddly enough, the sand where the beach meets the water's edge is also blue. I start to wake up on this point, but I dig my heels in -- literally -- and try to stay with the dream. I can feel my heels digging into the sand. The scene changes and now I'm running down the stairs of my house. I know this is a dream and that I can probably get back to the beach, and sure enough, I find it right outside my front door. I decide to try flying since I haven't done it for a while. That reminds me that the last time I flew in a dream, it was when I was trying the Hansel and Gretel task. I wonder if I should try finishing it now…

And just like that, I'm in the witch's house. This time around, she looks just like Snow White's evil stepmother (the animated version, not the Once Upon A Time one). She's complaining that it's taking forever to fatten up Hansel. I get a glimpse of him outside in his cage, except it's actually Shezza from that season 3 episode of "Sherlock." (No wonder the witch is having trouble fattening him up, with Benedict Cumberbatch being so long and lean for the role.) The witch pinches me and comments on how at least I'll be nice and plump enough for a snack, then tells me to go take care of the baby. Wait, baby? Yes, there's a nice chubby baby that the witch is saving for dessert. There's this strange interlude where I'm trying to change the baby's diaper and trying to remember how to fold and pin a cloth diaper.

There is a huge oven in the witch's house, and I complain that the oven door is too big for me to open by myself. The witch grumbles, but she does open the oven door. She's maneuvered herself so that she's between me and the oven. I don't hesitate before kicking the witch's behind and shoving her headfirst into the oven, then slamming the door shut. I grab the baby and run outside to release Shezza from his cage. While we're outside, we can hear the oven timer go off. Shezza says we should go back inside and see how the cooked witch turned out. I'm pretty reluctant to do it (this was the part of the task that I was least comfortable with) but eventually I'm persuaded to go back into the house. Inside, Shezza is pulling a large tray out of the oven with a gingerbread woman on it. We break off a few pieces and, yes, it takes just like a gingerbread cookie.

I think I'm done at this point, and I find myself back in my bedroom, packing a bag. But I know this must be some kind of false awakening because I don't remember getting out of bed to begin with. I try to remember anything else I wanted to accomplish, but I'm drawing a blank. Without a goal, I can't cling to the dream anymore and wake up.

I managed to hit another Task of the Year item! This one's from the morning of 5/11/2014.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #209: Aladdin

I’m standing on a long stone pathway that cuts through the middle of a vast lake. People pass by me on either side, and as I watch them go, I think about my intent to have a lucid dream. It quickly dawns on me that one has just begun.

I look out over the lake,.seeing numerous Greek-styled marble columns sticking up out of the water. I take flight to get a better view of the water and it’s just as striking from higher up. I go up and up, preparing for some peaceful exploration, but I accidentally cut through some low cloud cover and lose sight of the lake. A flock of birds crosses in front of me and for no discernible reason, the frame rate of the dream briefly dips. I’m briefly amused that my brain seemed to have had trouble with that relatively simple scene.

I head back down through the cloud cover, regaining sight of the lake. I fly lower, studying DCs as I go. All of the flight finally reminds me of the Aladdin Task of the Year, and I land, mentally gathering the details of what I’m supposed to do.

First, summon that lamp. I try several behind the back summons, but I keep botching them. This is annoying me a bit, but I finally manage to get the sense of an object in my hand even though I can’t see it. I wiggle my fingers a bit like a magician and the lamp “paints” itself in from top to bottom as I watch.

I make my wish for a magic carpet, and immediately one scoops me up from underneath. I remember my first attempt at this task and again ask the lamp for a “delicious cookie”. Right away a cookie appears in my left hand and I don’t hesitate before cramming it in my mouth. It’s really good! The chocolate chips are just a little small for the “perfect cookie” but it’s still excellent.



I’m apparently stuck on a “delicious food” theme so I immediately wish for “delicious hot chocolate”. I bring my hand back into view to find it holding a china cup full of hot chocolate. I guzzle it down. It’s way colder than it should be and there are odd clumpy patches in it like it didn’t mix well, but still tasty. Okay, done!

I continue flying the carpet for a bit, staying about 10 feet off the ground. I come to a section that looks like the exit to an amusement park. There’s a woman waving goodbye to me and the other people as we leave. I don’t get much further before the dream ends.

Hi, I'm Marcus. You may remember me from threads such as "2014 Lucid Goals" and "What happened? Post Your WILD Attempts, Good or Bad, Here" (well, probably not).

Thing is, a while back I promised myself to get back into Lucid Dreaming. I gave up initially as I had to focus on exams. Before this, I managed a few fragmented LDs here and there; nothing special.

So, after these exams, I thought "well, now that I have so much free time, it's time to get back into Lucid Dreaming!". The problem was, I was so used to letting time pass by without a thought in the world, of not being aware of the very thisness of the situation, that getting back into it became exhaustive. This, piled on top of the even more demanding life of Sixth Form college, left me pretty much unable to do anything, as I was so focussed on work and that awareness once again fizzled away. The fact is, my second attempt at building awareness and achieving lucidity was worse than my first.

Once again, I find myself craving that ability to do whatever I want without a care in the world. I also believe that I could harness this skill to learn/improve other skills (this is something I want to experiment with). Also, the feeling. Oh god, the feeling. That first moment you realise you're in a dream is something sensational! Your entire perception of reality suddenly doubles over at this point; submitting to the ultimate roundhouse kick to the groin that is your imagination, because you think of all the possibilities. Then it's all over.

Back to the point, I find myself nearing exams once again. I don't feel as though I can begin building over the charred remains that was my self awareness just yet (these metaphors are killing me!). Then there's the excitement of spending my waking hours looking for a suitable University, then starting the proper half of my A-level course, then finishing my A-level course, then preparing for more exams, then finishing those exams and waiting anxiously for the results, then hopefully going to University.... On the plus side, I do have a few weeks holiday soon so I could start then!

I must say, if, over the next few months, I manage to reacquire my relatively limp ability to lucid dream, I will be happy. In the meantime, I may occasionally post some more Journals because a) I find it fun to write and express my feelings towards what is potentially the entire world and b) there may be those of you in a similar position to me, whether it's school, college, work or whatever, you may be finding that daily life detracts from lucid dreaming. So for now my goal is to achieve one Lucid Dream by the end of July. It's not much, it gives me time to finish my exams, but it's a start. If by some ridiculous chance I do achieve one in this time, my goal will double. Is this a world first? An exponential LD goal? Surely not!

Summary (if you want to skip the irrelevant "my life is so occupied, and I'm complaining about it!" crap):

• Have one lucid dream. Case of achieving one in time frame doubles goal

Also, any advice is warmly welcomed! Thanks for reading.

Successful WILD attempt, but I wasn't as successful in staying lucid the whole time.

I know I have to go in search on the witch who is holding Hansel hostage. I start out in my kitchen, trying to figure out how to get to the witch's cottage, and the easiest way seems to be to search by air. I fly up through the ceiling, crash through the roof, and flew Superman-style through the air until I spot the cottage.

Once I got inside, the witch chases me around a large table, trying to get me close enough to the oven to push me in. My clothes have changed at this point. I am wearing some kind of blue and white peasant dress that is really low-cut. This seems to get the witch to change tactics; before cooking me, she is going to pimp me out to make some extra cash. Now that's really evil. She brings in the first "customer" and I run away from them. Somehow find myself running past two coworkers. They are hiding merchandise in a locker, and I am curious about what they are doing. I find a larger group of coworkers and notice that one of them has changed her hair color. I tell her how much nicer it looks. Then I move onto the clearance tables and start folding clothes and rearranging everything to make it easier to shop. There's a woman who asks if I have a specific size, so I start reading off the size labels to emphasize that it's not here.

WILD attempt after waking up an hour before my alarm…

It feels like I've been asleep forever while waiting for some sort of dream imagery to appear. I decide to try something different and have my dream body climb out of bed. I see my bedroom really isn't that much different than usual (there's always something weird about it in my false awakenings). I move onto the bathroom, which also looks the same. In fact, the only weird thing I've found is that I'm wearing a very sheer white nightgown. I might as well be naked considering how see-through it is.

Somehow, I find myself in the kitchen. I see dishes piling up in the sink and I start to load them up into the dishwasher when I realize I already did this before going to bed. I concentrate on my desire to try the Beauty and the Beast task, then leave the kitchen. I find myself in a dark room where the only light is from the fireplace. There are bookshelves lining the walls and two armchairs in front of the fire. Someone comes from behind and guides me towards one of the chairs, murmuring something about how I must be cold. This must be the beast. I turn so I can see his face, except he doesn't seem to have a head. Wrong story -- this isn't supposed to be Sleepy Hollow.

The beast sits down in one of the chairs and pulls me into his lap. This time when I look, he really is a proper beast with a head and everything. To my surprise, he looks like the one from the Disney movie (I had hoped my subconscious would be a bit more original than that). But he has very soft fur and I spend a lot of time stroking it before whispering, "I love you." He's a bit too tall for me to kiss while I'm sitting, so I have to shift around so that I'm straddling his lap. But I do manage to kiss him, even managing to slip in a little bit of tongue even though there was no French kissing in the movie. I break off the kiss and pull away to see what the beast has turned into now that the curse is broken, and I find that I've just kissed Fabio.

My gut reaction is, "EW!" because I really don't find Fabio all that attractive. He's more like a caricature of the type of guy I do not like. I'm so shocked that I somehow find myself standing in front of the linen closet in the upstairs hallway. I reach for a towel, then notice that there's an odd light at the back of the closet. Something tells me that it's a portal and that I should take it, so I slide between the shelves to get to the back of the closet. I find myself face-down in mud. Someone picks me up and guides me towards a waterfall cascading into a pool of water. Fabio is waiting there with a bottle of shampoo. I immediately think, "No way." The scene shifts and I'm back into the room with the fireplace. This time, Sherlock Holmes (the Cumberbatch version) is sitting in the chair opposite me. He starts trying to psychoanalyze my unusual reaction to finding out that Fabio was my un-cursed prince and he seems amused that I'd rather talk to him than play in the waterfall with Fabio.

Finally on the board for Task of the Year 2014!!

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #206: The Giant Killer

I sense a transition into the dream state, but just as it begins I hear our dogs start barking downstairs. Wife stirs in the bed next to me and I wonder how much of this is pure dream and how much of it might be sounds and sensations from waking life bleeding over.

I will myself to roll out of bed OBE-style and I decide to phase downstairs to see what the dogs are on about. I pass through walls and the floor like a ghost and I think to myself that “I’m spirit walking.”

I pass through one last set of walls and the geometry gets weird for a moment and I wonder if I’m losing this dream. I rake my fingers across the floor but I pass right through. Still, it seems to bring me back into the experience and there in front of me are our 2 dogs laying on the floor panting.

Their food and water bowls both lay empty and I figure that’s what they were making a fuss about. Even though I’m still floating like a ghost, I’m able to grab the water bowl and sling it across the room and it clangs realistically against the floor. I consider asking Wife the next morning if she heard any of this commotion.

I head out into the garage, walking like normal now. Rather than phase, for some reason I lift the garage door manually and walk out into the night. I move past the circular driveway to the grass, thinking of the Jack and the Beanstalk Task of the Year. I dig a quick hole and everything’s feeling very vivid now. I do a behind-the-back summon of a seed which feels very half-hearted but fortunately still does yield a tiny seed. I quickly cover it over with dirt.

For water I move my hands in a little sprinkling motion over the little mound and a few drops of “rain” fall. The plant immediately springs up through the ground and stretches skyward. It looks like a normal vine at first but as it continues up it looks more like a twisting rope bridge that goes all the way up into the clouds.



I grab the lower rung and start hauling myself up but I feel like I’m getting nowhere and won’t ever be able to tackle all that distance. I decide that the planks are being reeled in from above and are pulling me up toward the clouds. It works! In a couple of spots the planks twist and turn oddly as if they’re trying to throw me off, but I ignore this and before long I’m at the top! I float up over the edge into what looks like a restaurant that’s being prepared for a party.

Two women standing nearby appear to be in charge of the scurrying wait staff. One of the women, an attractive lady in her early 40s, looks up at me as I walk nearby. She has a streak of her short brown hair bleached almost white. My task is the defeat the giant that lives up here, so I ask, “Where’s the giant?” She points behind me and to my left.

When I turn, there’s a guy roughly 9-10 feet tall walking through the door of the restaurant. He’s mid-40s with dark hair and a thick, barrel-chested build. “So you’re the giant?” I ask leadingly.



“That’s right,” he says and immediately takes a swing at me. His punch catches me square in the face but I decide that it will have no effect. I wind up not feeling anything or even falling back and it kind of feels like cheating. I strike at the man, trying what I for some reason think is a “kidney punch” but actually hit him in the side of the gut. He winces a bit but doesn’t move much.

I follow this up with a kick to the body and the giant clutches at his chest. I feel like this is working but I become paranoid about losing the dream, so I leap up and grab onto the giant’s face. I try to do this thing where I burn him with my hands but it completely fails. The failure makes me kind of vicious and desperate, so I gouge at his left eye with my right thumb and then strike him on the neck with my forearm. He collapses hard to the ground and I go with him. As I’m picking myself up to see what’s next, the dream ends.