Lucid Time!

I had this friend who used to tell me stories of how her boyfriend would 'talk' to her vagina. She was really self-conscious about sex and she told me how he'd speak to her vagina as though it were an external part of her, like it has its own identity. His efforts were very successful in that her vagina responded in a manner she very much enjoyed.

I do have a point.

Sometimes we want to experience things but we don't allow ourselves the opportunity. So in your case, you want the lucid dreams but for whatever reason you're not able to provide them to yourself. I've noticed your method of lucid dreaming often involves you making demands on your subconscious. "I want to see my subconscious right now!" You say things constantly in this tone. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much.

The little king behaves similarly. "Give me what I want, NOW!" Sounds harsh. Demanding. Uncompromising.

Another option you may want to try is to speak nicely to your subconscious. There's no need to make demands for everything. Sometimes a simple suggestion can bring about results too. Adding variety to the way you ask for experiences expands your options. It also develops maturity. When I mention maturity, I'm also working on that too; I don't mean it offensively.

The subconscious is a delicate thing. Something to be coaxed into opening up so that it accepts your agenda. Pummeling your way through it is fine and dandy, but if that doesn't bring the desired results then it's time for another method. Or persistence. That sometimes works too.

I've noticed your method of lucid dreaming often involves you making demands on your subconscious. "I want to see my subconscious right now!" You say things constantly in this tone. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much.

I do see your standpoint, and I think that this dream is really interesting and open to a lot of interpretation.

You see, I have become something of an individualist. I believe that one should behave how one sees fit. Develop their own moral compass and beliefs, rather than simply subscribe to another's command. Other people will try to mold you like putty in their hands to do their bidding, and if you allow them to do so, then you begin to lose who you are. In other words, one of the few things I can control in my life is my own identity and moral compass. I can't decide how others should interpret that identity, however. If they like the decisions I make, great. If they hate them, too bad, I'm gonna keep making them.

If my memory serves, you came into conflict with your dream guide because you had differing ideals and expectations of what the other should have been like, even going so far as to create a replica of your guide in your own image, so you should be able to relate to a conflict such as this.

You see, the idea of what I want to be and what my my SubC wants me to be has actually been around since the very beginning. When I first met my persistent guide, Manei, we were always silently at odds with one another. Manei had anticipated that I was very heroic and would be more engaged with other people, but a rocky childhood and more importantly, simple personal choice has made me something of a lone wolf with a gray moral compass. I found myself at odds with her identity as well, wishing that my DG would be infinitely wise, no nonsense and very to-the point. Her goofy antics and playful personality came off as an annoying distraction.

However, with me and Manei, we were able to recognize how the other wanted to identify. She could see that I wouldn't always make the choice that would be seen as 'heroic', and that I was only willing to help out people that proved they were worth it, and she understood why. Likewise, I understood that she saw that being a dream guide didn't mean having to be serious and to the point, and that you could have fun and be a little goofy. That was the identity she wanted to have. Once we both recognized that we could be interdependent while still recognizing the other's individuality, we became much more in tune with one another

I seem to have digressed a bit, but I think this ties back nicely into what I am trying to say here. You see the child had wanted me to make a specific decision regarding a dream character (Killing Jonathan), where I had already chosen a different route (Sending him Away.) Furthermore, the decision to leave my dreams was actually Jonathan's, so in that sense, I was respecting the identity that he wanted to have by allowing him to do so.

This is where the idea of the controlling mentality comes into play, and I think that this is the biggest difference between me and the child king character. You see, what he wanted was to change and manipulate the identity of me (apparently Manei and others) as well. While rejecting the fact that everyone else has separate identities and aspirations. (He was a king after all, kings are associated with being controlling over subordinates.)

Now I will give my own ground and say that my approach was arguably flawed, by being demanding of my subc. But I have reasons to back up my decision. I must remain confident and assertive in order to maintain control over the dream world.

So I suppose we are put on equal footing here. I might see myself as the most important member of the dream world since I am the dreamer. The king character obviously sees himself as important as well, since he has the confidence to try to boss others around. We want to change the other. But I think that this is where push comes to shove.

The child wants me to subscribe to a particular identity that I refuse to identify with. The child, who Is my SubC and the one supposedly stopping me from fully experiencing lucid dreaming.

However, I do not want to change the child's identity. I want to change his perception of my own identity., so that he will trust me, and stop restricting my access to the dream world. But this is equally difficult, because as I said earlier I can choose my own identity, but not how others precieve it.

In some sense, It comes down to a question that arose in my mind a few months ago: do you give up who you are and what you believe in to complete your spiritual path? Your imperfections are what give you your identity. Do you want to give all of those up so that you can be the splitting image of the perfect hero, or do you remain imperfect but retain what makes you you?

But that's what I love about this. You can keep asking questions and placing philosophies and points of view on it.

I think that there was no point in asking him for more lucid dreams. If you want more lucid dreams you should try other methods like RedKali suggested.

However, I do not want to change the child's identity. I want to change his perception of my own identity., so that he will trust me, and stop restricting my access to the dream world.

I don't understand what you meant by getting him to trust you.The subconscious does not restrict you from having lucid dreams in that way since your subC is apart of you and not a separate living being. It did not even seem like he was one. It sounded more like he was a representation of what you think of it. Which is why i suggest you stop blaming your subconscious and making it seem like it is the king. Now that i think of it,A child would most likely pretend to be the king. So maybe the dream was trying to show you the control or restriction your subC really had over your dream as opposed to how you expected it to be.Oh and congrats on getting lucid! It must have been real nice to stay in the dream lucid for that long.: D

Well I'm not saying that you and Kali aren't giving sage advice, and that I wasn't considering it. I was simply trying to better orient my own story.

The subconscious does not restrict you from having lucid dreams in that way since your subC is apart of you and not a separate living being. It did not even seem like he was one. It sounded more like he was a representation of what you think of it. Which is why i suggest you stop blaming your subconscious and making it seem like it is the king. Now that i think of it,A child would most likely pretend to be the king. So maybe the dream was trying to show you the control or restriction your subC really had over your dream as opposed to how you expected it to be.

Simply put, I did not expect my subC to be represented or react in the way that it did in the dream. I wasn't blaming my subC for the lack of lucidity that I have been feeling.

The whole reason that I wanted to speak with my subC was because of a lack of lucidity. I wanted to figure out why it is that lucidity seems so sporadic for me. (Why do I become lucid randomly when I don't really have a plan in mind, and why can't I become lucid even with techniques that have proven themselves before.) Perhaps it is just the nature of lucid dreaming, but this lack of consistency and equal returns for my efforts is indicating that something is wrong with my approach. (Perhaps you two just pointed out what is wrong with my approach right here.)

I remember hearing about how the worlds' top musicians don't actually practice their instruments as much as you might think. They had this sort of 'practice smarter, not harder' mentality, they make what practice they do undertake much more worthwhile. What I am trying to do is do that same thing for lucid dreaming. I want to find a way that I can become lucid without having to push myself so much.

So I suppose in the end I'm just going to keep trying different things until I find something more worthwhile. I know that the balance that I am looking for is out there. I just have to find it.

Because in the end, all I really want is to lucid dream, simple as that.

I definitely think you should be you and not sacrifice who you are for the preferences of others. However, with this said, I also believe our exchanges with others erode and build our character. Who we are is only stable when we're not exposed to other people and experiences. Once you open the door to that and begin putting pressure on your beliefs, standards, ideals, you may find that they don't hold up as well in a variety of circumstances. As intelligent beings, we are constantly growing and developing and while some parts of us may remain stable and consistent, some aspects will change.

Your relationship with Manei seems very helpful to you. It also sounds like you've been learned a lot from each other.

I want to change his perception of my own identity., so that he will trust me, and stop restricting my access to the dream world.

This is where coaxing him comes into play. Like you said, you can't force people to perceive you in a specific light. You can only be you and hope people understand. This wrong. You can manipulate how others perceive you by coaxing them into acceptance. People are more accepting of ideas when they believe it originated in their own mind, instead of being told. It might take a little extra effort to grow an idea in the mind of another, but it's far more rewarding than simply placing an idea in front of them and expecting them to believe it.

So. Hold your ideals and sense of self wherever you want to. But find an acceptable method to present yourself to the king. This is also where variety and creativity come into play. Find a way to befriend the little king--this may also involve learning to respect the little king's methods even though you disagree. Changing the way you perceive him can change the way he perceives you--especially if you both are one and the same

But that's what I love about this. You can keep asking questions and placing philosophies and points of view on it.

I agree!

Well I'm not saying that you and Kali aren't giving sage advice, and that I wasn't considering it. I was simply trying to better orient my own story.

Simply put, I did not expect my subC to be represented or react in the way that it did in the dream. I wasn't blaming my subC for the lack of lucidity that I have been feeling.

The whole reason that I wanted to speak with my subC was because of a lack of lucidity. I wanted to figure out why it is that lucidity seems so sporadic for me. (Why do I become lucid randomly when I don't really have a plan in mind, and why can't I become lucid even with techniques that have proven themselves before.) Perhaps it is just the nature of lucid dreaming, but this lack of consistency and equal returns for my efforts is indicating that something is wrong with my approach. (Perhaps you two just pointed out what is wrong with my approach right here.)

I remember hearing about how the worlds' top musicians don't actually practice their instruments as much as you might think. They had this sort of 'practice smarter, not harder' mentality, they make what practice they do undertake much more worthwhile. What I am trying to do is do that same thing for lucid dreaming. I want to find a way that I can become lucid without having to push myself so much.

So I suppose in the end I'm just going to keep trying different things until I find something more worthwhile. I know that the balance that I am looking for is out there. I just have to find it.

Because in the end, all I really want is to lucid dream, simple as that.

Oh okay. I sort of get what you were trying to do now. You were trying to see if your subconscious could tell you why you weren't lucid dreaming as much just by asking it because you wanted to find your own way to lucid dream by experimenting. My only problem with that is the way your subC blamed you for not working hard and because you didn't kill Jonathan. It seemed like the child did not give you a concrete answer so it probably would have been better to try looking for a more helpful character or to ask the subconscious within the dream itself for an answer instead of a dc that represented your subconscious. You know. Like look deeper instead of going with whatever you find.