false awakening

i'm at some kind of school or a boarding house with classes, really

i keep touching this fat girls legs but get embarrassed and stop because i dont want her to think i like her, i just want to touch her.

an asian girl named "12"

we have to jump across rocks in a low-ceiling'd room

in a third person pov, i make myself or my "character" move across a platform on a roof, collecting beams of sun energy. i'm good at this game. i keep getting "perfects"

on a really thin piece of paper, "10" and "12"'s conversation is written down. "is this you, 12?" "no thats from 1864" i crumple the paper and pretend it never happened.

i "wake up" and tell heather my dream, and say she was the fat girl. she wasn't really.

Totoro Encounter

I wake up to a phone call. It’s a little boy saying my dog is outside. I don’t have a dog, but I go check anyways.

Outside, a golden retriever is laying in my yard. His name is Rusty and in waking life he belongs to my friend Martin but in this dream, he belongs to my neighbor Bill. The kid got confused. I look for the boy but I see no one in sight, and the dog is just sleeping. He thought he was hurt.

I peep downwards. On the other side of the screen door is a little white totoro with a cute red cap on and little red mittens! I let him in.

He runs around for a moment and then I lift him up. Wait, this could be a trick. My anxiety kicks in and I think of what this could be: a weird listening device robot and someone is hearing on the other end what I am talking to it about? I put my finger in its mouth. It’s wet, and I feel a few baby teeth. I pat all around it, it’s fur is very very soft, like a shaved cat belly. It seems soft on the inside: no mechanical parts.



It doesn’t like this patting though and it hops out of my hands and runs under my couch. I’m sad because now I know it’s real, and I already fucked up our first meeting! I get on my hands and knees and peep under the couch and lure it out.

I hold the cute little thing in my hands. He takes his hat and mittens off and I cuddle him a little. I then remember my two cats. Shit. They smell it, and come from upstairs. He hops out of my hands and the chase begins. I feel so bad for him, I can’t catch either my cats or him. At one point, I see something ruffling under a big blanket and I think it’s my cat. I tap my foot to lure her out, and she jumps at my foot, clawing it. She feels bad and kind of walks around me in apology.

I find the totoro and scoop him up and run to the door. I am about to set him free when my cats come and think I put him out already, so they’re eager to leave. They both go out and the totoro is safe. I set him down. He begins to cry softly. I feel so bad and squeeze him lightly, apologizing.

He is very in the moment and stops crying when I cheer him up and he realizes there’s no cats. He doesn’t seem to be hurt. He scurries back under the couch with his hat and mittens. He keeps smiling at me someone even though his mouth isn’t really like that.

I false awaken. Both my cats are on my bed. A shimmer of light shines through my window and all three of us go and watch the beautiful sun set.

Both of my cats were on my bed sleeping all night. Maybe we shared these dreams

Fantasy Cousins

I am in a parking lot with my mom and my cousin Catie. We’re going to go somewhere, like Portland or something, even though it’s really late and it’s two hours there, two hours back. Catie says Patrick, her brother/my other cousin, has to come too. I like Patrick in waking life, but I scream really loud in my dream when I hear this. I don’t say anything, I’m just screaming.
Before we go to Portland, we have to stop at Heathers house for some reason and wait a long time. Catie and Patrick awkwardly sit in the living room. The house is very different than waking life. I peep into Heathers room and she’s sleeping. I go in.
She’s having a dream and she’s smiling so big. She’s talks too, occasionally. I’ve never seen anyone have such an in depth dream. I wake her and apologize because her dream sounded cool, but she said it just ended.

We all leave together. The scene changes to a very weird room, cramped and full of people. We seem to be “regular” people, while there are more “noble” people. One is an old man, very strict and military-esque while appearing wise and mystic as well. He has a long beard like a stereotypical Chinese guy. The other noble is a young girl. She’s giving everyone weird creatures to ride on. Patrick gets on back of one that kind of looks like a bear, but is clearly nocturnal for some reason and has jagged limb structures. I want to get on one, but the girl explains it’s only for males. Heather, Catie and I sit down, and I feel really mad.
The scene changes to just me and Patrick walking up this big hill. He starts to dance kind of, just moving his body in a strange rhythmic way. On the ground below us, ice forms as he dances in a beautiful pattern. I join, and the pattern becomes more intricate. We get to the top.


Fragment

I’m at school. Our classroom moves to the teachers secret library. It’s a tilting room that I’m afraid will tip over. I sit in the back, closest to the exit. The ceiling is extremely high and there are bookshelves that reach it, toppling with books. I hate myself because I keep saying absolutely everything on my mind, whether it makes sense or not. I blame it on being really tired.
Later, we go to a gym. The gym has a giant weird rotating machine in the middle. The teacher comes up to me with a paper I made, and instead of an essay we drew pictures. Mine had a wand made of a marijuana plant, and she said I shouldn’t be so risqué.


Fragment

My mom wants weed, so I call up my friend Dylan and ask about it. He says some obscure date, but my mom goes and visits his apartment anyway. Outside there is a sack of seeds and she thinks its hers. She goes in and he says it’s not, so we leave.


Fragment
I'm shopping with Heather and Tyler. In one store, Heather buys me a jacket. In another, we all look at a display case of jewelry. There is a watermelon mood ring that Tyler wants. Heather wants some earrings (her ears aren't pierced), and I want a little hand clasp with an eye on the palm.

Horrible recall + staying at other people's houses for a few days = limited dream journal entries

My friend Gabe comes over quite unannounced. He goes on my computer and we look at my computer history one page at a time together. I'm really uncomfortable. I had a false awakening that I wrote this down.


Jamie is in a very surreal version of his apartment with a fuzzy tie dye shirt and matching tie dye sweater. The sleeves are rolled up and held in place with weird little velcro tabs on each arm.


I keep having small Sims things pop up into my dreams since I re-downloaded The Sims 2 A burglar came into the area that I was having my dream. My POV shifted into the usual top-down view when playing, and I saw him creepin around the entire area stealing Sims objects. The view was pretty neat, because I could see myself and where I was dreaming, and then the whole area that I was in.


My mom bleached my hair and then started to dye parts of it bright blue

Boyscouts vs. the Fire Nation

Holden my brother, Tyler and I are hanging around downtown. We’re on this outside deck looking over the parking lot in the center of all the shops. I look over at a part of the brick buildings to my right that’s made of wood all the way from bottom to top. It’s made of strips of wood intersecting like X’s, like a foundation of a porch on some houses. Between the X’s I can see an old decaying sign.

At the same moment, Tyler seems to spot it: “Look, remember Weatherfields?!”

“Fuck yeah, I loved that place,” I say. It was an old restaurant that everyone went to as children (such a place doesn’t actually exist). Holden says he never went there, but I assure him he did.

In front of us, a few people get out of a little car. It’s a family it seems.

“Let’s go, there’s Kirstie Alley,” Holden says and starts walking out of the deck, into the parking lot and away from the family. It wasn’t only a fat joke, but the mom of the family also looked like Kirstie Alley, the actress. She was huge and was wearing a pink dress down to her ankles. Her flubby arms swung and instead of walking, she seemed to just tip in the direction she wished to go and flowed with inertia.

Holden, Tyler and I went to Goodwill, which was across the parking lot. Inside, I ran into the toys section which my dream-self never really does (Goodwill doesn’t have a toys section, and the whole place was more of a real store like a small WalMart). Tyler followed me and we began talking about wanting it to be summer out so we can play with water guns.

A couple started quarreling in the aisle so we left and went up front. There, we looked inside one of those claw machines. There was a really interesting looking umbrella. At first, I didn’t even know it was an umbrella. It had spikes in bands all around it, intricately engraved motifs from the handle to the top of it, where they followed the paths of metal in the shading part.

“Jack, you can have that blue one,” Tyler says. She points to a similar umbrella although colored light blue, making it kind of ugly. Where did Jack even come from? He has an ugly little face of anger when she makes this jab, and then he disappears.

Tyler and I touch a lot of soft stuffed animals in a big metal bin. I am particularly attracted to a white elephant and can’t stop touching it. Eventually, Holden asks us to leave because he’s bored of Goodwill, so we do.

The scene becomes us walking around Winslow, our neighboring town. Holden is a boyscouts parade soon, and Tyler and I are just following him around. Tyler’s smoking but doesn’t want her cigarettes anymore for whatever reason and asks if I’d like them. I think for a second and say sure. One is unlit and one is lit. I put the unlit one in my pocket and look at the lit one: where the flame should be, there is a hologram of a tiny flag that dissolves if you wave it back and forth. I take a drag and nothing really happens, no smoke, nothing.

We are walking up this big hill and I see my friend Autumn. She’s wearing a boyscout uniform just like the guys. It’s funny for me because she’s pretty big and walking up this big hill and doing dude-things with scouts, which is not of character for her. Not on the dream-plane, though!

“Autumn, why are you even a boyscout anymore?” I ask. She shrugs her shoulders and we talk about something (but I rarely remember dialogue in my dreams at all).

We get to the top of the hill. Tyler, Holden, and my old friend Cholage are at the top and want to slide down.

“What the fuck, you’ll probably die!” I say and make notice of the four-way intersection at the bottom (all of this is accurate in waking life). They all shrug their shoulders and start sliding down anyway. They just jump and their feet slide on the pavement, moving it as if it was very slippery and malleable mud. I don’t want to look like a coward so I start sliding too.

I’m half-way down and everyone else is at the bottom so I decide to call it quits. I can’t stop easily so I ram myself into a building on the side of the hill and then slide over and join Holden, Tyler and Cholage. They are on this floating house with a floating front yard, all of it on top of a small inlet. I’m really afraid of it sinking because I don’t want to get wet. Holden laughs at me because of how afraid I am, and I laugh too.

I look over and Tyler and Cholage are nearly naked making out with eachother. Holden is laughing and they both have smiles on their faces. I have an intuitive thought that they are doing this to make me jealous (though I’m not really attracted to either of them). I don’t want to seem jealous. But! I fall while the floating yard bobs in the water and my face lands right near their nude bodies. Whoops.

Holden and I start walking with the boyscouts as their parade starts. There’s a ton of boyscouts on the sidelines, but no actual onlookers. I think of how embarrassing this is, but no one minds. While Holden walks in the parade, I ask him about Avatar.
“We should watch Avatar sometime, I love that show. I’m re-watching all the episodes,” I say. He kind of nods, uninterested. “Have you seen the movie?”

“No. It’s not Miyamoto’s best.” (Why did my mind choose Miyamoto as the director??)

“Yeah I haven’t seen it either, I think they cast Aang wrong. He looks so serious,” I say. Holden agrees and we talk about it for awhile. I make a face, impersonating the actor.

Suddenly, the Fire Nation is attacking the parade! (I love how the mind works ) Everyone is running all over the place. Most of the boyscouts are Air Benders, like me. I get separated and am by myself, almost surrounded by opponents. Luckily, most of them are engaged with other battles and don’t notice me. One, in front of me, however, sends a giant flame dragon head at me. Its jaw is chomping as it comes closer. I close my eyes and focus my energy on the most powerful air attack I could do right now. I cross my arms, and when I uncross them, I send a wave of forceful air in its direction. The dragon head splits into smaller flaming heads that dissolve as someone pulls a big blanket of salt water over everyone. It’s sticky.



Around me, big booming voices are telling their followers to say a certain word that will bring them to safety. I see one of the voices re-embodied. It’s a God, a leafy Earth God that is putting all his devotees into a vortex as they say the correct word.
My friend Gabe says it, and I look at him strangely. He was always an atheist! I say the word, too, hoping for salvation, and I black out.

I wake up in a recovery area. Everyone is sitting on leafy clouds. My surroundings are dim. Holden is here, but Tyler isn’t. Heather’s friend Brittany is in front of me. For some reason, she pulls me really close to her and is making very affectionate moves! I apologize when our faces stick together because of how salty I am. She doesn’t mind, and starts kissing me. I wake up.


Illegal Drive

In the middle of the night, Tyler texted me and asked if I had any money for weed. I said no and went back to sleep.
In my dream, I am in the school, but under it, in this really cool art workshop that no one knows about. I get a text from Tyler and she asks if I have any money for McDonalds. I decide that I will take my car and get her some, even though I don’t have my license.

My car is underground where I am at the school, so I just go get it and drive off. I drive fine until I get to McDonalds, where I forget to stop at the window. I’m embarrassed so I just decide to drive home. I find that I’m going 80 down a hill and can’t stop. Eventually I hit the breaks. I turn into this little section of the parking lot in downtown. I try to keep going on this “road” but I find the only ways to go are up some…stairs? Shit, I am driving in a pedestrian park. I back out and go home.

False Awakening: I wake up and don’t know if it was all a dream or not. I tell my mom, hesitantly, that my car may or may not be here, and I may or may not have driven it last night. She laughs and says it was just a dream. Okay good!


Climbing The Tower

There is a big tower. A bunch of kids are climbing it, it’s some game. It turns into a tunnel halfway up and then disappears, turning over and extending some other way. I try to climb it but, like a lot of the kids, I fall. It’s a difficult game-like structure. I see how some of the more “advanced” kids are climbing it and mimic them.

I “get” how to climb it now, so I’m doing it all really easily. I pass most of the kids who I learned from. The newest part that I see is a green rope at the top of the tower that you hold on to as you fall off the side of it, into a swampy area. The tower was clearly just the beginning of a really cool journey.

I don’t grab onto the rope, I just kind of let my fingers glide over it as I jump into the swamp. A lot of kids “die” (and re-enter at the entrance to the whole tower) here. I walk around the tower in the swamp and come to weird area with a bunch of circular steps with newspaper over them. I hop along them, passing this area, and find myself in another swamp land.

There’s another tower which a few kids are trying to climb. I use my climbing skills and pass them as well. The top of the tower is a cool club house! There’s a few other “winners” inside, and we talk about the tower and just hang out.

Something happens, and the scene changes. I want to go to the club house again. I pass all the kids trying, and at the step area, I see why people have a lot of trouble here: the steps are made of pure ice. Because I hopped passed them, I didn’t come in contact with them enough to notice.

In the club house, there’s only a girl inside. Where’d all the cool winners go? She wants me to help her lure a Dryad from the swamp. First she suggest I set my Dryad Bow (?) into the water, but I assume she’ll take it. Instead, she puts her shiny Chaos Gloves (from Guild Wars) into the water, but nothing comes. I feel bad.




Fragment

I’m at school in a classroom I’ve never seen. I sit out back with my friend Celina. I haven’t been to class in awhile I assume, because everyone is working on some project and have pages of notes, and I have none. I don’t really care.

Chase calls me over from the other side of the room. He explains what we’re doing: making our own cereal boxes. I’m excited. It incorporates English somehow by having us add propaganda to the box. The project seems really fun. I want to make my box funny, so on the bottom I put the Surgeon General’s Warning.