HeritageDreamer

I am in a room that looks like a library. There are bookshelves lining the walls and some in the middle of the room. I see a door leading to another room the looks very similar. As I enter the new room I see a door to another room which looks similar. This goes on; each new room has a door leading into another room that looks very similar but only slightly different. In one of the rooms I stop and look around. A small dog comes running to me. I do not remember the breed. I give it some attention before I go into the next room. Another dog comes running to me. I remember that this one was a miniature pug. I move along to the next room. The same thing happens again and I do not know the name of the dog breed. I know that I am alone but I hear someone say “Wow you really seem to like pure bred”. I become lucid.

I go into the next room and this one has blue walls and a dark blue ceiling. On the ground are blue pebbles that look like something that would be at the bottom of an aquarium. This time a cat comes running to me. I give it some attention then I move on to the next room. This time I am thinking of my cat Caramel who passed away a year ago. I want her to come out of the doorway. A cat comes out and it is not her. I remember that this one was grey with long hair. I remain in the same room and I try again, this time a tabby comes around the corner. I remain in the same room and try one more time. She comes around the corner. She looks frail and sick like she did in her last days of life. I kneel down and get her to approach me by putting my hand out towards her. She meows and it sounds just like she did in her last days. I begin to cry as she comes to me and I hug and pet her. The dream ends.

I am in a house with wood paneling walls. It had the look of a cabin. The entrance was more elevated that the living room. The living room was flooded and it looked like a lake. The water was brown and murky and I could not see the bottom. It looked like there was seaweed and algae growing. There is a little floating dock leading out into the water. On the left there is a ladder leading up to a room that looks out over the living room. I climb up the ladder because I plan on crossing the living room by going a level higher. I get up there and there is a giant web and a spider that is as tall as the room as well as several DCs that I do not recognize. They all begin to walk closer towards me and I back away from them. I fall into the disgusting water and I can feel the seaweed brushing my legs.

I remember being told that I would not be able to ‘handle it’ in this place. I contested saying that I believed I was strong enough. I remember that I was wearing nothing but a long t-shirt and a pair of underwear but I didn’t care that I was underdressed in front of strangers.

I feel like a week has passed and now I am getting ready to leave. I am looking around frantically to find a ‘fleece’ sweater of mine (in reality this sweater is made of wool and I’m almost positive that I’ve donated it). My friend Joshua is there. I am angry with him. I ask him where my sweater is. He has it in his hands however we are on opposite ends of the water filled living room. He tries to throw the sweater across the water but fails miserably. It lands very close to him in the water. This makes me very upset. He jumps into the water to retrieve it. He crosses the living room and hands it to me. Somehow the water has shrunk my sweater so much that it could now fit a Barbie doll. Somebody says that it might be time to clean up the house. Joshua says that he will think about it and find a good method to clean it up (In reality Joshua often throws large house parties and is amazing at cleaning up his house afterwards). It now feels as though this entire week has been a party for these people and I feel that it was a horrible experience for me.

The dream seems to change suddenly. It looks like a scene of a movie and I am looking at it from a third person point of view. There are people swimming up to shore. They are dressed as if they are from the 40’s. They are survivors of a plane crash that are now stranded on this island.

Now the dream returns to the original scene except it looks like Joshua has ‘cleaned up’. There is no longer water in the living room, just hard wood floor. I am back at the cabin and I now know that the DCs are descendants of the survivors of the crash and we are on an island.

Although I do not remember my boyfriend being in other parts of this dream I suddenly being searching for him. I feel as if he has left without me. There is luggage piled up at the entrance and I see that his is missing. I begin searching for him outside with a flashlight. As I do so I see many people that I have not seen in a long time yet I honestly have no interest in speaking with them because I feel like I need to find my boyfriend. I felt abandoned.

I wake up.

I did not enjoy this dream. I felt stressed the entire time.

I wake up in ‘my bedroom’ (it does not look like my bedroom). I step out into the hall. There is a railing looking out over a large two story window. I see something falling out of the sky in the distance. It is shining like a meteorite falling into the atmosphere from space. It crashes down. I can’t see exactly where it land because it lands in the distance behind a hill. I see blue and green flashes coming from behind the hill.

The dream gets fuzzy. I think I saw people walking away from the crash site. They look like army soldiers; they are in uniform and are carrying weapons.

Suddenly there is a flying ‘drone’ (from the game bioshock) zooming around in my room. It shines a blue light at me. I scream ‘you’re not real, this is just a dream”. I look at my hands and start rubbing them together.

I wake up from the dream in my bedroom beside my boyfriend. It is my bedroom (it looks like my bedroom) but I know that it is in a house (not an apartment). My boyfriend is sleeping beside me but he is holding a boning knife that is pointing down on my sternum.

Now we are sitting in the living room (my boyfriend and I). We can see outside the window that there are many soldiers going from house to house. My boyfriend tells me to make an excuse when they get to us. I’m not sure what that means but I can tell that something is wrong. A soldier comes to our doos and asks if we’ve seen anything out of the ordinary. I stutter my boyfriend cuts in and makes up some sort of story to convince him that everything is alright. I’m thinking of the knife that morning, thinking that that was definitely out of the ordinary and it was terrifying.

Next thing I remember I was on top of a snowy hill with many people.
Now I am in a house with my dad’s side of the family. One of my cousins is screaming and swearing as she tries to get through a door in the house we’re in. It is unlike her to scream and swear. I feel like there is something wrong so I try to flee.

I am on a snowmobile outside of a house that I used to live in with my parents. I am trying to get my boyfriend. There is a young boy in a snow suit attacking him. I’m yelling and trying to get him on the snowmobile so that we can get away.

The End

Throughout the entire dream I felt that the meteorite crash, flashing light, and soldiers had everything to do with why everybody was acting weird.

I am in some sort of facility. It is colorful and futuristic. I am living in this facility.

There is a man who works there. He is cutting my toe nails. I feel really awkward. I like this guy.

I am in a large dark room. The walls are electric blue. There is a very large screen, it looks like a television screen and it is glowing. There is no bed and no furniture. I know that this is ‘my bedroom’.

I am going up a stair well. I am not supposed to be in the stair well. I think I am going to see the guy from before. I am outside the facility. I am not supposed to leave the property. I cross a little creek. It is fall weather and all the plants are yellow. I am running away from the place and I feel like someone is chasing me. I begin to run like a horse. My run continues to evolve. I start to leap. I begin to be able to leap longer distances at a time. I reach a barn.

I am standing in front of a man. He is important looking. He is sitting at a desk, he has grey hair. I want him to leave my dream. All the while I am continuing to rub my hands and look at them. I feel rushed, I’m afraid that I will lose my lucidity. I try to will him away. His image becomes a little bit wavy. It doesn’t seem to work so I decide to reach into my back pocket (I realize that I am wearing jeans). I know I don’t have money but I try to make it appear so that I can bribe this man to leave my dream.

This is all I remember.

I am pushing my friend David against a big grey pick-up truck over and over again. Once I stop we walk away from the truck into what looks like a school yard.

I get lucid

I know that I am dreaming and I realize that this is an opportunity for me to say something difficult to David, almost like a practice run. I say “first of all we should practice that scene again” (referring to when I was pushing him against the truck. He agrees. I guess I felt like we were rehearsing for a play in the dream).

Now Trevor (a guy we went to school with) is standing beside us. I mention that I’d like to speak to David privately. I am very nervous even though it is a dream. I find it very difficult but I say it anyways because I know it is a dream, “Also it makes me sad to think that I might lose you sooner than I’d like”. As I say this I begin to cry. The dream starts to get very fuzzy. I think we hugged.

The end.

I should explain why I chose to say this in my dream. I found out that my friend David was diagnosed with chronic myelogenous leukemia while I was away at rehab. Since I’ve come home I haven’t been able to talk about it with him in person, only over the phone. I was afraid to cry in front of him because I worried that it would make him uncomfortable. I talked to one of my counselors about it and I realized that by talking to him about it and by crying I would simply be showing him that I care. She instructed me to tell him that it makes me sad to think that I might lose him sooner than I’d like. I saw this dream as an opportunity to try it.

The setting is a downtown street in front on a club. It is daylight outside however It is around 11pm. It is winter and there is snow on the street and sidewalks. It is my birthday (even though my birthday is in the fall not winter) and I am upset because nobody is celebrating with me at my parent’s house, instead all of my friends are at this club to party with Cait, a friend of mine. I am leaving the bar and going home however the bus will not run for another hour.

Now I am in an office that is above the bar. I am waiting in the office to keep warm until the bus arrives. Also I think I am waiting for my friend Katherine. The office belongs to a female teacher. I think this is one of Katherine’s professor’s in school. I am looking around the office. I look into the closet and there are boxes of ‘how to’ cooking sets. In one of the boxes I find valentine colored smarties. I eat and few. Some of the smarties are larger and shaped like hearts and I eat one of those too.

Now I am at Katherine’s apartment (she actually lives at home with her parents). It is an apartment that I have never seen before. I love the layout, however I can’t really explain it. Kat says that she is going to her bedroom to get changed and get ready to celebrate my birthday with me. She is trying to make me feel better for having been stood up by my friends. I wait for her and eventually get impatient so I go into her bedroom. I find her sleeping. I can hear a vibrator that is on somewhere in her sheets – for some reason it doesn’t faze me at all although I don’t know her as the type of girl who would use one. She wakes up and apologizes and says we can celebrate the next day. She even has a printed schedule for the next day (I’m laughing about that now ). I say forget it I’m going home.

I wake up the next morning in my bed at my parent’s house (I moved out a year ago).I wake up happy and relaxed like I have had the best sleep ever. Suddenly I remember the events of the previous evening and I feel bad. I feel like I was rejected by my friends. I go to the backyard to talk to my mom. She is doing work in her garden in a grassy area on the left side of their yard (there is a garden there but there is no grass, just an interlock pathway). It is a beautiful summer day and my mom’s two dogs are playing around in the grass (my mom doesn't have dogs but she is great with animals).

I begin to realize that the yard is wrong and that my mother, in reality, does not own dogs. I also realize that my birthday is in the fall, not the winter however I don’t notice the change in season from the previous night to the morning after.

I wake up.

I was in a suburban home that I have never seen before however I know it is my home. I am in my room which is painted blue (like my bedroom at my parent’s house). There is a red bird, a cardinal, flying around my room. I realize that I have never taken care of a bird before and I need to find it food. I know that it has recently rained and so I decide to go looking for worms. I zip line from the house over top this suburban area. I now somewhat recognize where I am. It is a grassy area just outside of a housing project near Trim road in my hometown.

I land from the zip line into this grassy area. I get down on my knees to search for worms. It is a cloudy day as if it has just rained. The ground is moist but I don’t remember my knees getting wet. I see a few worms on the ground to I start to pick them up to put them in a tiny glass jar that I suddenly have in my hand. I pick two up without a problem and put them in the jar. I’m trying to pick up a third but it keeps slipping out of my fingers. My vision starts to blur and I get frustrated.

I wake up and slap my boyfriend.

When we woke up the next morning we spent some time in bed talking. I apologized to him because I thought I slapped him across the face. He tells me that I only slapped his ribs. He then tells me that he woke me up because I had pried my fingers into his mouth and it seemed like I was trying to grab his tongue.

This is hilarious! I feel bad for him because it’s not the first time I’ve hit him while dreaming but trying to grab his tongue was a first. Also why would I try to find worms instead of going to a pet store and getting bird food?

I am camping with my boyfriend and some friends from my rehab center. For some reason I just know that we are with a camping group that was organized by Camp Trillium (a sick kids camp that I attended growing up). My friends from rehab start lighting up their cigarettes. I point out the irony of smoking cigarettes at cancer camp (my nickname for Camp Trillium).

People decide to go for a swim. The setting of our camp site is at the top of a ridge overlooking a beautiful river. They have to go down a few sets of ladder to get down to different levels of the steep ridge to the water. At this point in the dream I decide to take a nap outside me and my bf’s tent. I feel like I’m half asleep and I get very anxious like I am anticipating that something bad will happen. I feel like I need to pack up so I take down the tent.

Next thing I know there is a tsunami. There are several large waves hitting the cliff side and the water level is getting higher and closer to us. My bf says we have to go. I try to finish packing the tent because I think we will need it for some reason. I look around and everyone else has already fled and I fear that they may have driven off without us.

I think I woke up briefly and fell back asleep into the same dream.

Now I am swimming in the river. I see large waves coming as the tsunami starts. I try to ride the waves and continue to try and swim towards the middle of the river. I am afraid that if I get pushed to the side I will get stuck between the waves and the cliff and I will drown. I keep kicking my feet and I now am holding on to a floating board (like I used to do in swimming lessons).

I think I woke up briefly and fell back asleep into the same dream.

Now I am back at the beginning of the dream. I find out that the ‘Betty’ that I met in rehab is the same ‘Betty’ that my bf bonded with while he was in a mental health rehabilitation program at a local hospital. She is not how I would have expected her to be. I can’t help but fell a little bit of jealousy because I know that he had a crush on her while he was in the program (before we met) and also because I know they share a special bond from having gone through this program together.

I accidentally grab my bf’s camera instead of my own. I want to take a picture of a bunch of colorful caterpillars so I take the camera anyways so that I don’t miss the shot. A beautiful yellow butterfly flies by and I photograph it. I also take a picture of a white butterfly on a picnic table and of a gorgeous orange flower. Now I decide to go for a swim. I let myself fall backwards into the water. The water level is now much higher than it was originally. There is no longer a cliff; our camping ground is right on the water. I realize that I have my bf’s camera in my pocket. I freak out and get out of the water. I run to our yellow tent and start taking apart the camera and drying all the pieces. The camera now looks like his blackberry phone. It seems to still work. I keep drying the phone and I think I gained a very small moment of lucidity when I realize that the camera is now a phone.

I wake up.

Although it was just a very short moment of lucidity I am quite happy. It has been a long time since I have achieved any lucidity at all. I think it’s a start

I am walking up the stairs form my parent’s basement. I pass by my mother and some of her girl friends. Her friend, that knows I’ve been to rehab, stops to give me a big hug. When she pulls away she looks at me judgmentally and says in french “so you didn’t go after all?” I am surprised with her comment because I just came back from my program. I respond “I did go, I just got back.” She says “no you didn’t. You smell like you’ve been using.” I get very upset and start to yell in english now. I say “Who the hell do you think you are? You have no f-ing right to come in here and accuse me.” I go on but I can’t recall what I say.

I wake up.

I would never speak like that to my family or their friends. I have not used in two months. I think this dream was brought on by fear. I had a fear of relapse coming out of rehab even though I did not want to use anymore and didn’t feel any physical compulsion to it anymore.

I was in a plane or what seemed like a plane. The seating area was wider and the seats were arranged in a semi circle. I was sitting in one of the seats with my boyfriend. We were the only people there. He told me we were going on vacation. He says that his sister and the boys are one floor above us. I now notice that there are cots built into the side of the area we are sitting in. There is a small stairway in front of us. I look up the stairway and see one of my cousins up the stairs. She smiles and waves. I realize that this is a family vacation with both mine and my boyfriend’s families. Now my boyfriend tells me to look out the window and I can see Earth. I realize that we are in space and I start to feel very nervous. The windows in this ‘spacecraft’ do not seem safe to me. There is a visible padding sticking out the perimeter of the window. The next planet I see is Mars although it does not look like mars. It is dark and the entire planet is covered in scaffolding as if the planet were under construction. For some reason I know that this planet is being mined for resources. The next planet I see is Saturn. It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I try to take a picture of it but the flash on my camera doesn’t work (this part made no sense to me).

The next thing I knew I was outside the ship with other people and we were just floating in space. Our ship had broken and we needed to get to another ship to get to safety. All the people around me start floating further and further away until all I can see of them are red and green dots. Now I am alone in space and I am scared and nervous, but not as nervous as I was originally when I was in the spaceship looking at the windows.

I am working at a Shopper’s Drug Mart. As I am walking down one of the aisles a coworker walks by me quickly and grabs my butt. I feel violated. I walk toward the cash registers located at the front of the store and see a man I know working as a cashier. I go to work at a cash beside him. I serve a very unhappy customer. The customer was a French Canadian man who was raising his voice at me and suggesting that I was incompetent.

The boss arrives. She is someone I know, a very wise and understanding counselor. In this dream she is judgmental of me. She suggests that I must have mistreated this customer to have made him so unhappy. I continue to tell her that I was not rude and was merely doing my job. She suggests that I go work in the bakery instead. The setting has somewhat changed, I now feel that it is more of a grocery store than a drug store, hence the ‘bakery section’. I get very upset, at this point my speech in the dream becomes a little bit lucid. I get frustrated and tell the boss that I have worked in a bakery before and did not enjoy the job at all and that I do not want to give it a second try. I tell her that I a coworker has grabbed my butt and that this constitutes as sexual harassment in the workplace and that “I don’t need this shit”

The dream now jumbles, it is the same location. Now I am not myself, I am Miranda Bailey, a character from the television show Grey’s Anatomy. I get out of my car and go into the drug store to buy some tampons. I enter the store and am looking around as someone comes by me quickly and rubs their hands down the side of my legs then quickly runs away. As Miranda I have more confidence, I say “This behavior is not appropriate”. Now I am myself again.

I wake up.

Conclusion: I believe that this dream was brought on by stress that I was having at the time about a maintenance person at the rehab program I was in. I felt that he would overstep his boundaries with clients and speak very inappropriately. At this time I felt that as a client I had very little control over his actions. By analyzing my dream and noticing my feelings on the subject I was able to make a decision to take the steps needed to report the behavior I had been witnessing. This dream was beneficial in showing me my feelings regarding a real life situation and deciding to take action. I spoke to the person who ran the program and she accepted my emotions and suggestions. After a few more discussions with her I felt that the situation improved.