nightmare

I'm at university attending a lecture about the basics of OpenGL.
The teacher doesn't really seem into it, and none of my classmates seem interested.
To be honest, neither am I, but for a different reason.
The other students are not interested in graphics programming,
whereas I'm already quite comfortable with both Direct3D and OpenGL.
Why am I attending this class again? Perhaps for some easy credit points?
That doesn't sound like me though.

Once class is over, I hear some people discussing that they wouldn't come back
and choose another course instead. If that many people leave, this course is
going to be cancelled, and I'll have to find another one as well.
I'm mildly annoyed.

Eventually, as the lecture comes to an end, I suddenly realize that I am dreaming.
I'm not sure what gave it away.
I touch everything in close vicinity to assert that the dream is stable.
There is some initial numbness, but eventually my senses appear to be working properly.
I leave the classroom, trying to remember my dream goals...
It's not working, I can't remember anything.

I'll go visit Yuya. It has been a long time since I've seen her because Faye is messing with my dreams.
But then, just as I want to teleport to Riven, I spot a familiar face.

It's Kate! What is going on? Why is she here?
(Not a real image of Kate. Kate is an ex-gf from waking life)

She smiles. And that is all it takes to stir up old emotions, which I left behind long ago.
I'm in love again. Great... I had enough trouble getting over her as it is.
Why does it all have to come back to me now?
I reluctantly decide to ignore her and visit Yuya, as I had planned,
but something goes wrong during my attempt of teleportation...



... I'm in an apartment with Kate. I think that she is my classmate now, and that we're living together.
This is our apartment. Everything is perfect.
I am living with the woman of my dreams, we're both about to graduate,
and we have our future planned out.
It is late in the evening and I go to the bathroom to take a shower.
The water temperature knob isn't cooperating.
I seem to be dealing with something like this:


Kate joins me in the shower and she has no trouble adjusting the temperature properly.
The water is now refreshingly cold, just the way I like it.
Kate moves closer and kisses me passionately. I love her so much.
And she is so beautiful. I stare into her green eyes as we kiss...
Wait... this is not right. Those are clearly Kate's eyes, but... they feel... empty?
Oh no...
Why?
I am emotionally devastated...

This isn't Kate. This is Faye.
It feels as though I've lost Kate again. I am so sad.


Faye is now holding a rose and handing it to me.
I get the feeling that she is trying to apologize?
That does make feel a little better. Will I finally be able to reason with Faye?
I take the rose. I cut one of my fingers on a thorn. Ouch!
A single drop of blood emerges and falls to the ground.

Something is wrong...
I sense something moving through the small cut, into my hand, and then up my arm.
I get vivid flashbacks of the bee birthing blisters. Not again!
I drop the rose. But I'm too late.
Stems covered in thorns grow through my veins and sprout out of my body in various places, causing me to bleed.
More and more blood flows down into the shower. The water slowly turns red.

"Faye. Please make it stop!"
"No."
"..."
"Please! I'm sure whatever the problem is, I can fix it."
"There is no need for this!"
"I don't want the problem to be fixed."

What? Why? I don't understand.
I just barely manage not to freak out. The parasitic plant hardens in my veins making me unable to move.
The pain increases as the plant grows bigger.
Fuck fuck fuck.

"Faye! Talk to me! What is the problem?"

She doesn't reply. She just smiles, satisfied with the current situation.
I can't take it any more. I need to wake up!
I close my eyes, trying to think of my waking body lying in bed.
But I don't wake up...
Instead I begin to see, even though my eyes are closed.

She laughs at me and my inability to do anything.
Then she moves in and kisses me on the lips.
No. I don't want this.
My fear turns into anger.
I scream at the top of my lungs, wanting to push Faye away from me.
The hardened plant finally gives in under the force and breaks in many places within my body.
I push against Faye hard with both of my hands.
She is pushed through the glass shower door, which shatters into pieces.

She is cut in many places by the broken glass. She is bleeding and her blood mixes with mine on the floor.
This is so fucked up. She still looks like Kate. This is not right. I don't want to hurt her.
She again laughs at the current situation. She clearly feels like she has accomplished something.
She is satisfied. Finally, she gets up and leaves the room and I manage to wake myself up.

Well fuck. -_-
This is enough. This needs to change. Now.
I'm going to WBTB, probably do some meditation to focus my thoughts, WILD and tackle the problem with a hopefully clear head.

To mention something a little more positive, I have updated my Dream Journal Description.
I've also found this really cool painting by Sakimichan, which made me think of Yuya:

She obviously doesn't have the long pointy ears, but I thought that this painting just radiates so much energy, just as Yuya does.
There's also been a strong blue/orange theme in my dreams lately. I thought this was a pretty cool find.

I forgot to add a song to my last DJ entry!
I can't think of any music that fits this dream, so instead, here's what I'm listening to as I write this:


I'm at an office in a clinic. I'm sitting on a simple chair in the very middle of the room.
I've been waiting here for some time, bored out of my mind.
A nurse is supposed to join me in order to give me the results from some kind of medical test that was performed on me.
After some time a nurse finally enters the room.
She tells me that she has good news, that they have finally figured out what is wrong with me.
The nurse suggest beginning treatment immediately.
I'm ecstatic to hear this.

However, I now also realize that this is a dream.
The nurse somehow notices that I have become lucid. She seems sad because of it?

We are interrupted by a doctor barging into the room.
She immediately steals the nurses charts from her hands.
After looking over them she sends the nurse away.

"I will take care of this."

I don't like this. The nurse seemed very competent and kind, whereas the doctor seems uninterested in my health.
She is just here to do her job and get paid. She couldn't care less about who I am or how I feel.
After grabbing something from a drawer she pulls up another chair and sits right in front of me.
She holds a syringe and a vial containing an odd purple liquid.

"Hold out your arm for me."
"Okay."

I hold out my arm as she draws some of that liquid into the syringe.
I want to ask her about what is actually wrong with me, and about what
the devil she is about to inject me with.
But I don't ask anything because I feel really uncomfortable.
The color of that liquid strikes me as really odd.
Are you supposed to inject purple stuff into people?

She grabs my arm tightly, presumably so that I don't move.
My skin offers little resistance to the syringe.
The needle punctures it easily.
I'm pleased that it doesn't hurt.
She injects me with a large quantity of the liquid.

As she retracts the syringe she smiles.
And not the good kind of smile. The I just fucked you up and I'm a psychopath kind of smile.
Blisters start forming very rapidly all over my arm.
They quickly grow to the point where they are about to burst.
There's a huge amount of liquid in them. And I sense them pulsating. (I'm not googling a fitting picture for that...)
WHAT THE FUCK!
I notice the doctor as she attempts to go for my other arm.
Oh hell no. I slap the syringe out of her hand and quickly get up.

I am now in full panic mode.
I turn towards the only door in the room and charge at it.
Due to fear of the door being locked I throw my entire weight at it, attempting to break it open.


The lock gives in under the force emitting a shattering sound and separates from the door.

Blinded by a bright sun I try to reorient myself.
Wait what? I'm outside?
I quickly realize that I find myself stranded on top of a skyscraper.
There's only one door leading back into the building and that's where I came from.
This doesn't make any sense! Also the skyscraper is really thin. Like only 5 by 5 meters.
I have nowhere to run.


The doctor emerges from the room holding a much larger syringe this time around.
Like, a meter long. She's holding it like an assault weapon.

"Come over here. You need your medicine!"

I don't think so. I look back at my arm and it looks even worse than before.
The biggest blister bursts open and some thick yellow goo starts to ooze out of it.
It is utterly disgusting. Oh but it gets worse. So much worse.


Fat wasps start to climb out from inside the blister, through the puncture.
There's goo all over them, and they immediately begin to climb my arm.
I contemplate attempting to rip my arm off my body, but I understand that this is not possible.
The doctor approaches me slowly, carrying the overly large syringe on her shoulder.

But then, during all the panic, a short moment of clarity.
I am dreaming. I try to forcefully forget about the condition of my arm, knowing that it will return to normal.
The doctor is getting uncomfortably close to me, and I have no room left to move backwards...


Oh for fucks sake!
The name tag on the doctors lab coat...
It reads "Dr. Faye"
There is just barely enough time to go from full on panic to being seriously pissed.

"Fuck this, I'm out of here."

I stretch out my arms, and let myself fall backwards, down the skyscraper, looking at the sky all the way down.
Weeeeeeeeeeee
...
Uhm...
This scene is going to change before I hit the ground yes?

My vision fades just before I hit the ground.
Good...
*BAM!*

OH GOD FUCK WHY...
Oh...

I thought I went splat there for a moment.
But I actually just landed on my back in a new scene.
I get up and begin to orient myself.
My arm is back to normal, so we're off to a god start.


Oddly enough I seem to have ended up in some kind of garage?
Like, a pit box for race cars.
Usually if I change scenes without thinking of a destination I land on a certain beach.
I end up there quite often, but not this time for some reason.

I rub my hands together, trying to purge my mind of the images of my arm.
Then I spot it. A suspiciously large object hidden beneath a white sheet.
I know exactly what this is!
Pulling away the sheet reveals my xg bike.
AWW YEAH!


I walk around it inspecting it from all angles.
The polished exhaust manifolds reflect the bright lighting in this garage.
I touch them and slide my finger all the way back to the end of the exhaust pipes.
Thinking about it, I haven't raced this in many years.
I did have a dream about it a long time ago, but I don't think I raced it.
Deep Dreaming - Barfight - Earth from Space - Exploring Childhood Dreams - Yuya - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

I could use my lucidity to attempt to resolve my current dream issues.
But I decide to postpone it. The dream is stable and I know that is going to be wonderful if I race.
Yes. I need some me time. Dreams are about having fun. I don't feel like resolving complex issues right now.

I climb onto the bike. It feels exactly right.
I flip the switches on the dashboard. ECU, FUEL, IGN.
And it lights up in vibrant neon colors.

I spot a pair of noise canceling plugs, resting next to some sunglasses on the fuel tank.
I promptly stick the plugs into my ears. This nullifies all sound completely. I also put on the sunglasses,
which fit nicely. I detach the auxiliary oil supply, which was keeping the engine nice and warm.

I gently feather the throttle, and kick the starter hard.
The engine roars to life. The sudden sound pressure feels like a punch to the stomach.
It almost hurts. My entire body vibrates, as it resonates with the sound emitted by all 20 cylinders.
Even though my hearing is muffled, the sound is painfully loud because it is amplified within this garage.
The sudden vibrations greatly increase the quality of my dream.
My vision is colorful and sharp now. All of my senses are engaged.
I am in a pit box. There's a race track right outside.

I pull the clutch all the way back and shift into first.
A loud mechanical "clock" is emitted by the transmission and the dashboard display changes from N to 1.
I lean my weight all the way forwards, feather the throttle and just let go of the clutch.
After some wheel spin I am propelled out of the pit box and begin driving down the pit lane.
I flip on the "G" switch on my dash board. This turns on an odd device that provides high amounts of downforce without causing any drag.
Almost as if gravity was magically increased for the bike.
With a precise foot press the engine changes into second and the bike wobbles forward and backward a bit.


I start to gain speed and once I'm onto the track I punch it.
At first the revs climb slowly, but then once I make it past 7k rpm I hear both turbos slowly spinning up, providing an enormous boost in torque.
This violent increase in power actually catches me off guard and I accidentally change into 3rd.
There is some more wobbling and the engine emits a rather unhealthy sound as I have starved the turbos from their much needed exhaust pressure.
This is to be expected as I shifted way too soon.

I gain some more speed before I need to slow down for a sharp hairpin.
The brakes are loud and cause some vibration, but they are perfectly precise and very powerful.
I shift back into second and engine screams up for a split second as the internal computers match the engine speed to that of the gearbox,
followed by a loud rumble due to unburned fuel exiting the exhaust pipes.

I throttle up gradually as I am exiting the corner. The turbos spin up again. This time I'm determined not to shift early.
I grab the handles tightly, holding on for dear life. The acceleration brutally increases all the way through
10k, 11k, 12k, 13k rpm. The front wheel begins to lift off the track and I quickly shift into 3rd.
This time there is no wobble. The gearbox computer executes the shift precisely the moment when my foot presses the shifting pedal.
The front wheel slams back onto the track with a loud tire screech.

Two lines of blue leds on my dashboard grow towards each other as the rpm increase, indicating that I am within the power band.
I take it all the way up past 14k, until red leds at the end of the blue led strips light up,
indicating that it is time to shift...

I am now in 4th, doing close to 500km/h, as I enter a long corner. I lean my body into it, bringing the glowing orange exhaust manifolds into my field of view.
The forces on my body increase, until eventually belts in my pants pull together automatically to cut off the blood flow to my legs.
This just barely prevents me from passing out. I am unable to breathe until I exit the corner and the forces normalize.

I lift my body up a bit, so that I emerge above the protective wind shield.
The air pushes against my face hard. It hurts. I am so alive right now.
I try to scream as loud as I can. My lungs can just barely overcome the air pressure.
But there is barely any sound. The engine is just too loud. I cannot compete.

But that doesn't matter. This is MY dream. I am alive. I am in control.
After some laps the dream fades. I don't care.

The contrast between "bad" and "good" adrenaline was quite interesting.
Could have done without the bad part though. The images are still burned into my mind. x_X

I was visiting weird planets with Yuya as I often do in a rather deep dream that had been going on for multiple hours.
Then this happened:

There it is, a feeling all too familiar that I have not experienced in a long time.
I am scared... so fucking scared.
Fortunately my body reacts on its own, powering up and thus protecting me from the overwhelming pressure off the aura that has just appeared.
I know this feeling all too well, even though it has been such a long time since I've last experienced it.

This is very unexpected.
I have lately gone out of my way to get into trouble, because there is nothing like the fear you experience during a fight where your opponent is actually strong enough to kill you.
But in such fights, it is more of a mixture of fear and excitement you are experiencing.
The feelings of a true fights are difficult to explain, but there's a very special vibe to them that is oddly fascinating.

But this... this isn't.
There is no excitement, there are no feelings associated to those of a good fight.
This is pure fear.

Usually I gradually power up during fights, trying to find a good balance so that I am on a similar level to my opponent, because that makes things most interesting.
But this time I'm not. My body instinctively powered up all the way.
And I will need every single bit of strength if I want to survive this.

Fucking Templars who hunt me down because the god from their delusions told them so.
If only they weren't so ludicrously strong.
I can't afford anything less than a perfect level of concentration.
The first time I encountered one of them, I had both Yuya and Silver with me and I still came close to dying on multiple occasions.
To top it off I only managed to win the fight by using an ability that I can only use once every few years.
And that was a stray Templar, possibly weaker than the one I'm facing right now.
http://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/hyu/...dragons-18805/

The second time I was in a room full of portals, and managed to make a run for it.
This time I won't have a choice. We'll have to fight.
They are so fast that I won't be able to draw my phoenix wings without creating a very short opening, inevitably resulting in my death.
Yes. They are that fast. There is zero room for errors.

"The true lord demands your death Anassasi."
"I couldn't care less about your delusions."
"Oh but you should. Your death is inevitable, regardless of how much you try to resist us."
"The Templars will hunt you for all eternity."

He plays with his staff in a taunting manner.
It's odd. Regardless of how much hate there is during a fight, if both parties have considerable strength, there is always a certain degree of respect. Even if it is only the respect in your opponents strength.
And an element of excitement, because only rarely do you have the opportunity to go all out if you are this strong.
But with Templars there is none of that.
There is only the urge to survive.
And them? I'm not even sure if they have feelings at all besides hatred for certain dreamers.

I know that WakingNomad has encountered them as well. I used to call them Paladins, but after reading that he calls them Templars, the term has somehow emerged into my dreams.

Yuya has casted her water spheres and her aura is clearly on edge. But even like this there is an inexplicable beauty to her aura, even if she is ready to kill.
If only our truly overpowered abilities would work against them.
They are immune to both my dragon eyes and Yuya's water extraction technique.
I'm not sure if they have any water in their bodies.
They have a certain artificial look to them. Maybe it is because they never show any emotions besides hate.

"Today the dragon will die."

I grip my katana tightly. It is fully of energy and vibrates strongly in my hand.
I am perfectly focused on him. I am waiting for the slightest of changes within his aura.
There is is! A small twitch... and he is gone.

He appears right in front of me, but I was perfectly prepared for his blink and am already midway in my own blink, bringing me only slightly out of reach of his staff.
It hurts!
I had forgotten that any proximity to their aura causes a feeling of pressure so strong that you think it could burn off your skin.
But it doesn't feel like the heat of fire, it is what I assume it would feel like if you got an acid burn.

It's go time.
I charge towards the Templar and clash my sword into his staff.
I cannot comprehend how their staffs can deflect such power. It doesn't feel like they charge any energy onto them.
Any material should easily break in such a situation if you don't.
Yuya is throwing her spheres against him, and occasionally casting high pressure water beams into his direction.
But they are simply deflected by his armor in the same manner his staff is deflecting my sword.
It is so frustrating.

My aura is right at the edge of hurting my own body. The vibrations are only barely bearable.
I see the sky red and the clouds burning. My blood is boiling.
In such a state I need to be careful not to accidentally damage my own body.
Yuya is pushed slightly outside of the battle my various pressure attacks.

"Do you know how we kill a dragon?"

A device on his staff activates and my katana is teleported and trapped against it.
He smiles and charges at me with his staff.

"The last Templar who thought so is long dead you fool."

This trick may have worked once, but I'm not falling for it again.
I cast my katana away and re-materialize it in my hand.
He didn't expect this. Maybe I can force a small opening.
I skillfully bring myself into a better position.
Yes! This is perfect, I got him at a dead angle.
I charge all the energy into my sword that I can manage and swing it against the right side of his abdomen as he passes me.
I can feel it clashing against his armor and releasing all of its energy. A perfect hit!

Coldness. Shudder.
I blink instinctively, but slightly too late.
A sharp pain emerges from my left shoulder.
How did he manage to reposition himself like that?
He was to my right and I clearly hit him hard.
How did he manage to cut into my left shoulder?
And why the fuck does his staff have retractable blades?

The situation calms down as we all got some space between us.
Fuck, I have to fight on my own for a split second and I'm already wounded.
I feel blood slowly streaming down my arm.
Usually the dragon aura would naturally take care of it and close the wound, but there's something about a Templars aura that prevents such in-combat healing techniques.
I cast fire onto the skin surrounding the wound and burn it shut.
It hurts, but I have so much adrenaline in my body that it isn't as bad as it sounds.

Then I notice that Yuya is wounded as well, though only superficial.
She has a small cut on her left arm, and she appears to have frozen the wound shut.
This is not going well.

I inspect the Templar in the hopes of spotting some serious damage dealt by my last attack.
There is a dent in his armor.
Are you fucking kidding me? I landed a perfect hit!
I hit him so hard that the changes of air pressure around him caused extensive damage to the ground surrounding us.
But his armor? A fucking dent?
How are we supposed to beat him?

The fight continues, but it quite frankly isn't looking good for us.
He manages to land near-hits on us with nearly every try, whereas all of our attacks bounce off his stupid armor.
If only Silver was here. But he isn't, and he won't come.

I'm starting to become exhausted.
Templars don't seem to suffer from this issue. The longer this fight will drag on the worse our situation will become.

Alright. Time for more risky tactics.
I lower my katana slightly, giving the Templar an opening if he charges me head on.
And sure enough he comes right at me.
Time nearly stops. I see him slowly approaching me during one fast leap.
He's moving so fast that pressure waves are building around his body.

Yuya's aura is clearly alarmed. She is very worried about me... and... so am I.
Was this really a good idea? What was I thinking?
I haven't used this ability in years, I can't even remember it properly.
It's to late to question it now... just go with it.

I slightly lower the dragonic energy in my body. Any hit now and I am most certainly dead.
I shift all the energy into the right side of the blade of my katana.
Then I rapidly focus phoenix energy within my body.

This is a horrible idea. It is so dangerous to do this.
Dragonic energy is demonic in nature, whereas phoenix energy is divine.
Like fire and ice. Matter and Antimatter.
Any mistake will rip my body apart.
I do not have the experience I had a few years ago, and even then, as mad as I was, I respected and feared using both energies at the same time greatly.

My eyes and my dragon tattoo begin to hurt intensely.
They are being attacked my the divine energy.

I increase the phoenix energy until it reaches the same level as the dragon energy.
Then I funnel it into my blade as well, but on the other side.
I now have two independent energy circuits running through my blade and body.
But they draw their power from the same source: my aura.
I need to divide my concentration.
Half of it to make sure I do not kill myelf.
The other half to coordinate my attack.

My katana begins to vibrate heavily.
I turn the dragon energy into heat. A heat greater than that of suns, probably only matched by the pressure within a black hole, something only a dragon can do.
With my phoenix energy I do the exact opposite. Absolue zero. The temperature at which everything stops, an ability exclusive to wielders of divine energy.
Both touch only at the edge of the blade.
This causes the laws of physics to break down.
Such opposing forces cannot occupy the same space, yet they do at the very edge of the blade.
An intense pressure vortex forms around my blade because the air surrounding it no longer has any idea how to act.

I swing my katana at the Templar, who is now only centimeters away from me.
The intense pressure emerging from my sword closes the opening I gave him earlier.
This has to work. This is one of the most powerful techniques I know of, and I am risking my life to perform it.
It is not a dragon ability, nor is it a phoenix ability.
It is my ability. Mine alone. A combination of powers only I could use on the most extreme level.
If this doesn't hurt him nothing will.

As I swing my katana towards him. I no longer manage to contain the force within.
Some energy leaks out, causing intense vortexes around us.
It emits a pure, blinding light.

And then, they finally clash.
My katana and his staff.
The explosion of energy is beyond anything I've ever experienced.
My senses shut down to protect my body from the intensity of the situation.
It is like witnessing the big bang. The emergence of a sheer infinite supply of energy from a tiny point in space.

My senses slowly recover...
The energy in my body is completely unstable. Both the dragonic and phoenix circuits have completely shut down.
As my vision normalizes I can see the disaster I have caused in front of me.
The entire landscape is partially frozen and partially on fire.
A huge crack in the landscape, starting at my feet, reaches kilometers into the distance.
At some points it is multiple meters wide.
And that was caused by nothing but the side effects of my technique.
The energy released by the attack was all directed perfectly towards the Templar, none of it touched my surroundings.

I turn around, still in slow motion.
He must be dead. Please be dead.
As I turn I notice my katana burning in a bright blue flame.
It is vibrating at an immensely high frequency, emitting a very high pitched tone.
No other material would ever have been able to contain the energy needed for this attack.
It was forged using parts of my dragonic and phoenix energy,
designed specifically to be able to hold these forces for short periods of time.

And then I see him, turning around as well.
Our eyes meet.
He is not dead.
And he is angry. Properly mad.
He swings his fully intact staff back into an attack position.
We are so screwed.

But then, a flicker of hope.
The chest plate of his armor shatters and drops to the ground revealing a long cut reaching all the way from his shoulder to his abdomen.
But even though the wound is deep, no blood is coming out of it.
He is clearly wounded though.
But so am I.

My aura took quite a hit. It wasn't him though.
Even though I controlled both energies perfectly I still damaged my aura.
But the damage is low and mostly superficial.
Small arcs of lighting are shooting across my body because of it.
I'm still operating my aura at the absolute maximum. The arcs are caused by energy leaking out of the tiny damaged spots.

But then all the hope I just gathered vanishes.
A second Templar emerges from a portal.
And the first one doesn't even seem to be in that bad of a shape after my attack.
We need to run. We need to run now.
But I don't know how.

Energy emerges from below the ground. Yes! There's still a chance.
During the short downtime Yuya managed to collect a huge concentration of water below the ground and cast her Leviathan.
It bursts out from below the ground and both the Templars disappear within it.
An attack of truly godlike proportions.

But this won't be enough time. It'll buy us maybe a tenth of a second, not enough to cast my phoenix wings and get us out.
I need to buy more time.
I blink towards Yuya and summon the huge phoenix wings on my back, and focus as much phoenix energy as I can.
I will block a single attack.
This should provide enough time for Yuya to draw a portal.
Maybe portaling will buy us enough time for me to use the phoenix teleportation, which they cannot follow.
This is one of the situations where it is truly advantageous that we share our thoughts.

I stand strong before her, surrounding us with a divine energy shield.
I'm putting all the force that I have left into it.
Yuya is casting a portal on the ground in the mean time.
Point one of a second... come on!

A beam of light breaks the Leviathan body and hits my energy shield hard.
A purely energy based attack.
The ground around is disintegrates under the force.
Only the parts within my shield remain intact.
But I won't be able to hold this for the tenth of a second we need.
It will collapse too early.

I start shrinking it to conserve energy.
Right now it is encompassing my huge phoenix wings. I won't need those to survive.
I shrink it all the way down until it only protects our bodies.
My wings burn to ashes as they touch the outer limits of the shield.
It hurts. It hurts so much.
How long can a tenth of a second last?

My wings are nearly completely gone now.
We are kneeling, the shield diameter is down a meter and a half.
And then finally the portal forms below my feet and we fall through.
We enter the wormhole created by the portal.
Blood from my broken wings streams into it.

It goes far... very far.
Yuya casted a portal towards a location much farther away than I've ever been.
This might buy us the time we need.
We emerge from the other end of the wormhole, onto a barren planet.
I immediately summon the phoenix wings on my left arm and try to make us enter the fabric of space and get us home.
Yuya nearly collapses under the exhaustion of having casted this portal right after the Leviathan.

The wings materialize and I can sense our bodies shifting into the fabric.
Both Templars appear out of nowhere closely in front of us.
But this will work. This is enough time.
The wound I caused on one of them is already in the process of healing.
What the fuck? How... ?
The other one smiles at me.

"Run little dragon! Run! We will get you soon enough!"

Followed by a maniacal laughter.
Finally we disappear into the fabric of space and are transported to Haven.
As we emerge, we drop to the ground exhausted.
My entire body is shaking, either from fear or because I pushed my body too far, I'm not sure.

"I'm sorry. I thought we had more time."

I knew it would happen. Somewhere deep within I knew it would happen after I fought the first one of them.
He was weaker, sort of a run-away or something, no longer obeying the Templar collective.
I never imagined that the others would be so much more powerful.

"I need to become stronger... much stronger."

She looks at me in a very sad way.
I have never seen her sad before. She is always so happy and full of energy.

"I'm so sorry. I did not bring you back for this, I don't want you to have to fight again."
"Of course you didn't. But it is inevitable. I will have to fight. I will have to fight again."
"If this is what it takes to be here again then I will fight... "

I look at my still shaking hands.
I am so strong already. So immensely powerful.
Yet, I still stand no chance against them, no chance whatsoever.
Not even in a two on one fight.
I think about the journey ahead of me.
I'm going to need help... I'm going to need a lot of help...

Recently some of the abilities I can confidently use in lucid dreams have appeared in my non-lucid dreams.
I occasionally find myself using them without thinking or realizing that I am in fact dreaming.
The most common ones I use are "Fire" and "dragon eyes".
They're both abilities I associate with dragonic powers in my lucid dreams.
Creating and manipulating fire is rather straightforward, using the dragon eyes not so much.
If a DC looks into my eyes whilst I have the "dragon eyes" open, I can order the DC to perform any action and he will obey.
This works with most DC's, except those who seem unnaturally strong. (those who present themselves as other dreamers or other conscious entities)


I'm at university, attending some kind of lecture.
The dean enters the classroom and asks if I can come with him.
This doesn't really surprise me, I sometimes help the school with some stuff, I assume it's about something related to that.
I get up and follow him.
He opens his office. There's 3 men inside wearing suits... weird.
He closes the door without entering.

"Mr. Zimmer?"
"Yes? Can I help you?"
"Indeed you can, we're from the FBI."
"Oh? What brings you to Germany?"
"You do, Mr. Zimmer... Or should I call you 'Hyu'?"

I'm confused and feel horribly uncomfortable, as if I had committed some sort of crime.
But I know I have not. Yet I am Hyu, but how do they know? It's the nickname I use on the internet, is this related to some of my online activities?
It's the Fbi, they have no jurisdiction here.
I try to remain calm.

"Mr. Zimmer is fine. Please explain yourself, what do you want from me?"
"We want you to come with us."
"I'm afraid I'll need an explanation before I'm going anywhere, you have no jurisdiction here."
"Indeed, we do not."

The agent pulls out a gun and points it at my chest.
I freak out as he pulls the trigger and I feel the pain of something penetrating my skin.
What the heck? This wasn't a bullet! He shot me with a tranq gun.
My body goes numb and I fall to the ground...


... I regain consciousness. It's cold...
The room I'm in is dark and moist.
I'm wearing nothing but underpants, and I am constrained on a metal chair.
The metal is really cold... and it reeks. I'm scared.
I try to move my arms, but I can barely move them a few millimeters.
They are chained to the chair at multiple locations.
I start panicking and try to pull myself loose.

But I quickly understand that there is no way that is going to happen.
My legs are chained in the same way my arms are, there are multiple belts as well, keeping my body constrained to the chair.
The system is so solid and complex that I can't even turn my head.
Fuck!

I try to calm down. I need to think.

Someone enters the room... he's wearing a doctors outfit... it's full of blood stains... fuck fuck fuck.
He studies a chart and then approaches me.
He turns on a spotlight attached to his headband, which blinds me.

"Who are you???"
"..."
"Where am I?!"
"..."

He doesn't give a shit and completely ignores me.
At first I think that he'll inject me with a huge syringe, but he actually proceeds to drain blood from my left arm.
He's fucking disgusting. He smells horribly, as if he hasn't showered for weeks, and he doesn't look any better than he smells.

Fuck this!

I try to channel energy in order to set him on fire... but it fails miserably.
Red lights on bracelets on my arms start flashing... and that's it... nothing happens. There is no fire.
I realize the bracelets have tubes that feed into my arms... what the fuck?

"Heh. Stupid shit. You're not going to use fire magic for a long time."
"Guard! We're taking him with us. I want him to see something..."

A guard enters the room and unlocks some of the chains.
He then forces me to stand up and follow the doctor.
The chains around my body are still massive. It's a complex setup of massive steel locks.
The whole apparatus is heavy, I have a hard time walking with all the weight I have to carry.
There's no way I'll be able to resist.

I am brought into a room similar to the one I was held in.
There's 2 prisoners inside.
A girl and a guy, both about my age.
I quickly realize that the girl is dead.
It looks like she died of blood loss, which she lost through her eyes.
How horrible!

The guy seems quite scared. He looks at me, and I can see the desperation in his eyes.
He knows he is going to die.

The doctor approaches him. He is going to inject him with the blood he's taken from me... why?

"They're going to kill me... just like they killed the girl."
"Your blood killed her."

The doctor intervenes: "Shut your mouth."
But knowing what's going to happen to him, he doesn't care.

"If there's anything you can do... do it."
"They will torture you until they find a way to extract your abilities... and after that they'll have no more use for you."

Fuck... if this is true... I have to act now... but how? I can't do shit with these bracelets.
The doctor gets ready to insert the needle into his arm.
I can feel the adrenaline pumping...

...

The bracelets... they prevent me from using fire...

"Hey doc!"
"Shut it!"
"You know, this is not going to work, you can't transmit the fire genes like that..."

I'm pulling this out of my ass... I just need him to look me in the eyes before he performs the injection.
Maybe they don't know what I can do if someone looks into my eyes, maybe they only know about the fire.

"... Those tricks are not going to work. Don't waste my time."
"Don't inject him and I'll tell you how to transfer my powers..."
"... I've actually got them from someone else, I wasn't born with them."

This is never going to work...
He turns around and looks at me.
Or maybe it will?

"Bullshit!"
"Look me in the eyes, do I look like I'm lying to you? My fucking life is on the line."

And he does.
Got you!

I open the dragon eyes and stare right into his soul.
I can see every bit of evil inside of him. What a disgusting and horrible person.
He tries to resist, so I push it.
His eyes turn bloody... he won't be able to take this for long.
I need to hurry up.
I order him with my mind.

"Undo the bracelets!"

He approaches me like a puppet and begins deactivating the bracelets.
The guard notices and freaks out, yelling at the doctor to stop.
But he doesn't... he can't even hear the guard, he can only hear the overwhelming voice of my mind.
The guard pulls out his gun, but it's too late.
The bracelets are off.

The concentrated fire bullet I just launched at him hits him in the head and splits his skull.
He drops to the ground dead.

"PLEASE! Help me! I can get us out!"
"I know the way, and I can open the doors."

I don't have a choice, I have no idea where I am.
He's wearing bracelets as well.
I concentrate some fire onto them and they stop working.
He closes his eyes and all the locks on his and my constraints unlock at once.

"I control electricity. I can control most electrical devices."
"That's useful..."

I spot a small red led at the top of the room... fuck... a camera.

"We need to get out. Now!"

He gets up and we start running.
The corridor outside the cell leads straight to a big steel security door.
He opens it with his ability. It starts lifting upwards.

But behind it, a whole armed task force is waiting for us.
In panic, I prepare to set them all on fire, but it seems my new buddy got this.
With a simple hand motion, he creates an electromagnetic field dragging all their equipment towards the ground.
The belts of their machine guns prevent them from getting back up and we just run past them.

This guy is amazing. He locks all doors around us, except for the ones we need to escape.
We encounter little resistance on our way out since everyone is locked in other rooms.
Finally we reach an elevator and get inside.

Apparently we're at level "-28" which is also the lowest level.
Where the fuck are we.
It goes all the way up to "0", which is where we are going.

The elevator doors open and we get out.
We're in a rather small room, with some sort of reception and a big steel door which presumably leads outside.
I can see a nuclear warning sign on it... I see. We are in an old nuclear bunker.
A girl working the reception freaks out once she spots us and grabs a phone.

"Do yourself a favor and don't bother..."

I feel more confident now that we're nearly out. I'm not really that scared anymore.
She drops the phone and puts her arms in the air.

"Good girl."

My new friends opens the door with a wave of his hand and the bright light from outside blinds me.
We step out, not seeing anything, but then my vision normalizes...

"Fuck..."
"Yes. I thought you knew how to get out?"
"We are out. But I had no idea where the fuck this facility actually was..."
"Well shit..."

We're in the middle of the desert.
You can see extremely far from where we are, but there's nothing to see but sand.
Never ending sand and the fucking door leading back into the nuclear bunker.

Armed forces stream out of the bunker pointing their machine guns at us.
There's a guy in a suit with them, presumably the leader of whatever is going on in the bunker.

... Hold on a second... I can teleport, can't I?
Or... wait... WHAT THE FUCK?

I'm angry... I'm properly mad.

"WHAT IS THIS SHIT?"

The guy I escaped with is confused.

"What?"
"THIS IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!"

I'm so pissed. How did I not notice.
I need to unleash some of this anger...
I approach the guy in the suit.

Everyone starts shooting at me, emptying their magazines, but the bullets just bounce off me.
What do they expect? I'm lucid, they can't do shit.

I grab the guy by his neck and lift him off the ground.

"If you meet my subconscious, kindly ask it: 'What the fuck?'"

I set him on fire. The flames are purple, and so strong that he immediately disintegrates, not even leaving behind any ashes.
In my anger I call out to Faye, associating her with my subconscious and thus as someone responsible for this nightmare.

"FAYE!"

She appears and immediately makes me a sign to let her say something first.

"I didn't do this Hyu. This is not my fault. It wasn't me."
"Then who did?"
"No one... nightmares don't work like that..."

I finally manage to calm down.
And then I realize something rather important.

"Sorry Faye... I didn't mean to be angry at you."
"And I get it now. This is actually a positive experience, not a negative one."
"Aha! How so?"
"If I had this same nightmare and I wasn't lucid dreaming, I wouldn't have been able to break free from it."
"The habits I've acquired in lucid dreams have helped me to escape from this nightmare, and from many others before."

She smiles in agreement.

I feel a lot better, somewhat refreshed actually.
Beating a nightmare feels good. I feel strong, like I have an ability that most people don't.
The dream fades away...

I am walking aimlessly over a big field.
Something feels completely wrong.
I can't quite put my finger on it, but I am a bit scared.
Somehow the whole experience is a bit frightening even though it shouldn't be.
I have a feeling like the color is being drawn out of the world.
I don't like this at all.

Fortunately I then realize that I'm dreaming, but that scares me even more...
Usually whenever I get that sort of nightmare feeling, which I have right now,
it goes away immediately after I become lucid, but this time, it doesn't.

Suddenly, I feel a very scary presence behind me.
I am nearly too afraid to turn around to face it, but I end up doing it.
There's a man. Even though he's dressed in white, he's dark... so very dark.
It's his presence, it is his urge to kill me, I can feel it... so strongly.

He's wearing a white and silver armor with a white coat and he is wielding a very large polearm.
He approaches me slowly.
Why am I so afraid of him?

He calls me by a name that I do not know, but it is clearly meant for me, and I have no doubt that I am the person he is looking for.
He also calls me a dragon and a dream warrior and claims he is a paladin himself.

"You shall die by my hand in the name of the lord."

I am so fucking scared. I don't know what to do, I feel completely helpless.
He takes his polearm and charges me. FUCK!

Somehow my body reacts by itself.
The dragon within me awakens, or rather explodes. I have never powered up even remotely this fast.
I instinctively summon my katana trying to block the inevitable hit.

I black out for a second as he hits me...

The land is on fire. I am fully charged up. My aura burns, the sky is red and the clouds are burning.
I am so afraid, afraid to die. I don't care if I use too much power, I just want to survive somehow.
He keeps attacking me relentlessly, and I am only barely able to dodge and block his hits. Everything happens so fast.
The moves I use are not my own, my body reacts instinctively, and I know if I interrupt this I will die, if I think, I will die.

"Do you know how we kill dragons?"

He activates some device on his polearm and my katana dematerializes in my hand and rematerializes in a holster attached to his polearm.

"You dragons are helpless without your weapons."

Fuck... FUCK!
He walks towards me slowly. He knows without my katana I don't stand a chance, there's no need for him to rush.
I'm so afraid.
In my desperation I call out into the fabric of space and scream as loudly as I can:

"YUYA!!!"

He's getting closer and closer, just a few more steps.
Finally, he strikes, slowly...

But right before his polearm hits me, I hear the sound of a metallic collision.
I look up. Another man is standing in front of me, blocking the polearm with his sword.
He looks at me over his shoulder.
I know this man. I know him so well...

Silver! It is Silver! A man from my childhood dreams, a friend in combat, just like Yuya and Selene.
Then I see Yuya, she is here as well. They must have arrived at the same time.
However, they clearly appeared independently, because Yuya is quite surprised to see Silver and even calls out his name in amazement.

Silver looks at me.

"Fight!"

What a simple word, but such complexity behind it.
Suddenly I am no longer afraid. I am no longer alone.
The nightmare feeling disappears and the paladin takes a few steps back.

"You're friends of the dragon. All of you will die. No one opposes the lord."

Silver puts a hand on my shoulder:

"He's a paladin. Paladins kill dragons."
"Now take back your sword, you have the power to cast it into the void."

I order my katana to be cast back into the fabric of space and summon it again, and sure enough I'm holding it in my hand.
The paladin doesn't seem too surprised, he's confident that he can take on all three of us at the same time.

"Well done dragon. By asking your friends for assistance you have signed their death warrant."
"Dragons are horrible creatures. How you are able to make friends is beyond me, all of you must die."

I am angry. He is blinded by his beliefs, he has no idea what it means to be a dragon.
He is committing genocide without understanding anything.

"You are but a fool following a false god."
"A man who only believes but does not try to understand is nothing."

The paladin seems furious because I called his lord a false god.

Even with the power of all 3 of us combined, we only seem to be on even terms.
But it feels just like old times, like in my childhood dreams where I would fight together with Yuya Silver and Selene.
We fight together so well, like a perfect choreography.
Silver and I both use our swords and direct energy attacks, whereas Yuya uses her water magic.
But somehow, it just isn't enough.

Yuya is clearly struggling, and I am very worried for her. If something happens to her it will be my fault.

"First I will kill your girl. I will kill her slowly. And I will make you watch."

I can see fear in Yuya's eyes after hearing that.

Suddenly, my mind is blank.
I am calm. Perfectly calm.
It is the calm you experience when your anger is so strong that somehow you drop back into a state of calm.

"Stop."

Silver and Yuya stop, not doubting my request for a second.
I drop my katana to the ground and cancel all of my dragonic energy.

"You fool. Are you sacrificing your self?"
"There is but one fool here."

I power back up, but not on dragonic energy.
I use the same energy I use to summon my phoenix wings, a much more pure and divine power.
My phoenix wings appear, but not on my hand this time.
They appear on my back and they are huge and colorful.
This power is so very different from the dragonic one.

I look into the paladins eyes and take a step forward.
For some reason I am right in front of him now, I have no idea how I managed to approach him so fast,
and clearly neither does he.
With my right hand I reach into the body of the paladin and grab onto his very soul and pull it out.
It feels like an ability I can only use if I truly believe that a person deserves to die, if there is no doubt whatsoever in my mind.
His body drops to the ground dead.

I look into the eyes of the helpless soul I hold in my hand.

"Wherever you may go, let it be known that if anyone in the whole of existence threatens my love again, I will hunt them down."
"I don't care if they are paladin, I don't care if they are king or even if they are god. I will hunt them to beyond the planes of existence and I will crush them with my bare hands."

I watch his soul burn away in purple flames as I crush it with my hand.
My anger finally disappears.
I can't believe how angry I just was.

I hold out my hand to Silver and he shakes it.

"Thank you."
"So long."

He turns around and vanishes.
He has always been a man of few words and I have a feeling I will not see him again anytime soon.

The rest of my memories of this dream are quite foggy.
Why did I call Yuya "my love"?
Was she really my lover, or did I love her as a friend I trust with my life?

This was also remarkably scary for a lucid at first, but it turned out quite amazing.

non dream - lucid - non lucid

This one was very vivid... and very "wtf?"

It's 5:30am, I really need to go to bed (I usually go to bed between 4 and 5am).
I'm not really tired though, so I decide to listen to some binaural beats while reading a few more pages of the book I'm currently reading. ("The Day Watch")
I listen to Infinite Bliss.
After about 10 pages I can barely concentrate on the book anymore, so I put it aside and randomly decide to WILD.
I know going to bed is a really bad time for it, but I just feel like it.

It doesn't take long for some signs of SP to set in. I focus on the tinnitus sound and try to use it as an anchor.
The sound quickly changes and I start hearing voices which turn into a female voice singing.
I don't usually experience this so I'm quite pleased.
The voice becomes deeper, and the overall ambiance becomes much darker. Hmm...?
Something doesn't feel quite right. I try not to think.

Music starts. An electric guitar, drums, metal. It's the intro for a song.
I know the song, but I'm still trying not to think.

"Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused"

The song becomes more powerful at this point, and very loud.
I can clearly feel the bass kicking into my stomach.
This startles me, and I open my eyes.

I'm on a big stage, with a big audience. I'm holding a guitar, my ibanez rg. I'm playing the lead guitar part.
I can't see the audience very well. I'm blinded by the stage lights.
I turn around to see the rest of "my band".
I'm quite surprised to find Chewbacca (Star Wars) on bass.
A very young girl (probably ~8) is playing the drums, and she plays am well and strong.
She looks like a super serious catholic school girl, it doesn't fit the song whatsoever.
I feel very weird.

"Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something"

Nevertheless I enjoy the dream. It's a nice feeling to feel every note I play on the guitar kick me in the stomach due to the strong speakers.
I close my eyes whilst playing this part, enjoying the overall sensation.
As I open my eyes again, I find myself in a mall.
How did I get here?
The music is still playing, I'm upside down on the ceiling of the mall still playing guitar.
I suddenly fall to the ground.

I close my eyes again, and I'm in the middle of the city.
It's full of people, I'm still playing guitar.
The people all look like zombies, their flesh is wounded and they try to eat me.
I can't stop playing. I blink my eyes again.

I'm in a broken down house. It smells really bad, it's all brown and grey.
There are little zombie children wearing wedding dresses. Their heads start turning around to the beat of the music.
I'm seriously confused now, and feel very weird.
I'm not scared, it's a dream, but I still feel somewhat uncomfortable.
I look at my hands to see how I'm playing the song.
I have eyes all over my arms...

"Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused"

The eyes explode and there are small insects flying out of them. WTF???
I close my eyes again, try to think of a more enjoyable scene, but I can't turn the music off.
I open them again and I'm back on stage. The stage lights flash into my eyes.
Every time they flash I'm teleported into a different scene.
My head starts to hurt, this is too much.
I want to end the dream, but I don't know how, the music just makes it so very vivid.

Knowing that this is all in my mind pisses me off, it basically feels like I'm annoying myself.
In my anger I grab onto the very fabric of the dream, and try to rip it apart.
Whilst I do this, I'm in the city scene again. Once I manage to rip it apart, the buildings around me collapse and
all the DC's fall to the ground dead.

Eat this!

The dream fades to black, I wake up.

The song was: Marilyn Manson - Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)
I don't really listen to Marilyn Manson... weird, however that music video feels as messed up as the dream.
I've seen it before, I must have remembered it in my dream.

Continued: http://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/hyu/...c-dream-11158/