JonBingus

Last night, in my dream, I pursued the girl I loved and grew to become a man.

I found myself outside of a classic American diner, which was situated at the very edge of a tall cliff. It was in such a way that the windowed wall opposite the counter was flush with the cliffside, like an extension of the geography. Across from the cliff was an even higher one, which was covered completely in ivy, giving the view a beautiful green backdrop. I had vague memories of that fact that I had fought my way here, and was very ready to take a rest. The food here was not at all that of a classic American diner, but was actually sushi style haute cuisine. The chef was an accomplished monk, and he cooked alone. I ordered a meal, and it was surprisingly simple yet refined. First came a course of small tofu cubes, made of many layers of different coloured tofu which had been marinated and simmered in the essence of duck, raspberry, and brown sugar. They were extremely tasty. The next item was cubed chicken, also the same size of roughly a raspberry. The chicken was so delicious and tender, and there was a whole bowl of it instead of one piece which went against traditional high-end cooking. After eating these and a few more courses. I had arrived at the exact perfect amount of full.

While I was eating, a group of girls had shuffled in and taken a seat. I found one of them in particular to be very beautiful, and she had a certain spark in her eye that told me she was special. I finished my meal, thanked the chef, and with no reason to loiter, ordered another meal. The chef seemed uncomfortable, knowing I would end up too full and would not enjoy each bite now that I was not hungry. He also explained that there was no other food, just the one set of courses that he had perfected. I said perfect! He began to cook, and I ate the chicken while often looking over at her across the place. When I finished my second mean, I saw the girls were almost done, so I lazily floated out of the window and hovered above the deep canyon, legs crossed, meditating. I felt a complete satisfaction with the meal, and with my ability to float effortlessly, but a strong yearning to talk to this girl held me back from concentration. I floated once again into the restaurant and found the girls gone except for her. She was in the booth across from the stool I had been eating at and was with the chef, who I realised was her father. I knew if I was to win her over I must achieve monk status even beyond her father. I could already fly, but I knew that was nothing.

Soon, I began to talk to her. I sat lazily with my head resting on my arms and started asking her questions. She thought I was too old for her when of course I am actually much younger than everyone thinks I am. I could tell she had some measure of interest in me by the conversation, but she was still at unease as I was simply a stranger in her father's restaurant.

Then, the moment of reckoning came. The goons that I had fought to get here, a villainous bunch who wore spiked leather and rode motorcycles, came from far down the cliff's edge looking to cause trouble. They knew there would be lots of money here, in a place with such expensive and rare cuisine. They approached the restaurant and got to about 50 feet down the cliffside, just across a wooden bridge that gapped a large crack in the cliff wall. It allowed for a pointed defence, and so I swiftly headed to cut them off on the near side of the bridge. They laughed in my face, pulled their guns, and shot me in the chest. Before I went down I managed to strangle one of them to death through manipulation of the force. My body gave way, and I fell off the bridge and down down down into the abyss off the cliff's edge. I felt the crack of the impact and then opened my eyes, standing once again atop the bridge. The villains were stunned. How had I materialised? Immediately I knew the answer to that impossible question. In my fall down the cliffside, I had achieved a full-fledged monk mind through my understanding of death and my yearning to be with her. When I died, my spirit left my body and I guided it into the body of the man I had killed on the bridge. The moment I inhabited him, my energy rearranged every molecule in his body to fit the shell that I had grown so accustomed to, down to the white robes I had been wearing.

This was what true power felt like.

I removed the rest of the bikers from the situation and returned to the restaurant, but she was gone. The chef was there, but he eyed me with an uneasy gaze, thinking me to be a practitioner of the dark arts and not an enlightened one like himself. Surely he had sent her away for her own protection.
Soon enough, I discovered the truth of the situation. She and her friends had been trained as warrior priestesses by her father, and they had returned down the same path the bikers had just come down. I went to meet them, and see what their intention was. It was to kill. So I stood there, and I let them cast me from the cliff. The impact with the cavern floor was great, and then I was on top of the bridge again, unmoved and unchanged. I was smiling, right at her. This was just a joke to me, a light-hearted act all put together for her entertainment. I could see her start to understand. Her friend threw me again, and once more I returned. With each reincarnation, I became more lighthearted to the situation, while their concern and fear rose. But I showed them no aggression. I looked at her, deep into her, and hoped she understood I was not the enemy. Then I flew away.

My dream continued for several hours. I returned to where the bikers had come from and fought many people, training to be stronger and gaining new abilities. I took down a helicopter mid-flight and learned how to teleport. It was a fun dream but also a dangerous and stressful one at times, as I never reached lucidity.

After some time, out of the corner of my eye, I realised one of my battles had taken me back to the diner. I went to the same spot across the bridge, and lo and behold the girl and her friends were walking up the cliffside, come to eat. I stood there, hovering an inch off the ground, and waited for her to see me. When she did, I saw a recognition and understanding in her eyes. She had changed. She turned from her friends when they reached me, walked to the edge of the cliff side, and fell off. In an instant, she stood before me.

I floated up to her, both of us smiling and full of pride.

"I figured it out, dummy"

"I know"

We kissed.



I spent a long time with her for the remainder of the dream. We talked about our lives and our adventures, and at one lull in the conversation, I forgot about it all and my dream shifted back to the battles and leather men. Soon enough I woke up.

Good morning.

I remember why people hate snakes so much now. king cobra was loose in my house, terrorising my people. Screw that.

Two dreams did pass through my mind. The first, a nightmarish tale of sickness and betrayal. The second, a story of social order, loneliness, and super-ability.

ONE: The Sickness.
I was on a flight to a small caribbean nation with my cousin. I noticed I still had some cuts on my elbow and knees from a spill I'd taken in my dream last night. The plane was small and stuffy, and upon landing, we were greeted by a strange islander. Before we could do anything, he said we should come relax in the pool. He said it was good for the soul. The water was cloudy though, clearly never filtered or washed. I obliged him for the moment, and waited for my bags to be unloaded. I got in a cab and headed to the resort to meet my dad. Some time passes.
When I get to the resort, I sit by the pool and start unloading my gear to do a job. As I do this I look down and a deep sense of horror passes through me. Sticking out from the various cuts in my body were horrific tiny wiggling tendrils, like infectious parasites sticking their feelers out in the wind. I freaked out. Panick. I am infected and I will die soon. I look around and everyone is freaking. The guide for the island comes, and says nobody has ever seen this disease before. I sprint into the cab and drive myself to the airport. A doctor says nobody has seen this ever. They rush me on a private jet and away we go. Ripping through the sky, I look down and see the worst. My skin, no matter if it has cuts, now has these tendrils poking through every pore in my body. Whatever this is, it is now in my entire system. I am going to die. I run up front to check on the pilots, and they are both sleeping. I slap the pilot awake and he bumps the controls. We nosedive. Collision with the ground does not blow us up, but rocks me around the cabin. We come to a full stop and I crawl out. Two girls come to rescue me, and take me to a group of kids my age.

The disease seems stable now, shocked into hiding the tendrils. I spend some time with these kids, but I am not socially accepted. They find me weird, to come out of the sky complaining of an infection that had no signs of being real. At one point, one of the kids comes up to me and says "If you just chilled out more, people would like you. You don't need to be freaking out and analysing us all the time. Just chill and enjoy everyone's company."
I felt hurt but hopeful. I spent the next hour of the dream talking to everyone, actively trying to control my breathing and calm down, and listen. There was a girl who rescued me who I had a crush on, and she knew and made it very obvious she wanted nothing to do with me.
At some point, a car rolled up and brought bad tidings. It hypnotized one of the girls, and she began to attack the one I liked. She was throwing stones at her head trying to kill her, and I stood and caught the stones, trying my best to disable the girl without hurting her. While fighting, the tendrils in my body came out and turned into feathers. Bright red feathers, like some pheonix hybrid. I knew now I was not sick, just evolving. Eventually I managed to stop her. The girl I protected tried to thank me but I just shook my head and left. She realized how badly she'd treated me but it was too late, so I hopped in the car that came and left to find something better.

I woke up to drink some water, then went back to sleep.
TWO: The divisive qualities of flight.

The dream began on a pilgrimmage. I was walking with a group of people I knew from somewhere but couldn't recall. We were on a dirt path in the forest, and were constantly beseiged by enemies. Out here, we all had some ability to defend ourselves, and mine was necromancy. I was summoning skeletal warriors from the grounnd at a constant rate, and as a result my friends and I were the only people who could just relax and walk and chat in the woods as my skeletal squadron handled things for us nicely. Eventually we passed through the woods and through a barrier that stripped our abilities. And then we entered the commune. It was a school, a mall, and a living community. For some reason I was back in highschool, and chilling with my friends. The inside was like my elementary school but expanded greatly. At one point while walking through the school I realized I could fly. I knew it was a dream but the world was nice to live in so I just let it play out. My friends and I were called to assembly, but I didn't want to go.
I flew down the hallway and out of the school building. The mall zone opened up, and here I was free to fly around. My teachers saw me, and were not happy, but also could do nothing to stop me with such massive ceilings. I flew around in circles, ignoring all the yelling adults below, and then flew up to the top floor's center room, which was the chapel where people would get married. I entered a birdal suite and grabbed a slice of vanilla cake in my mouth, but I had just disturbed a wedding so I shot out of there like a bat out of hell. A female teacher saw me and couldn't help but stop yelling and laugh when she saw the cake in my mouth. I went to return to assembly but found it was over, and everyone was in the washroom. I went to take a pee but the urinals were too tall and I couldn't reach. I went into a stall and peed, thinking that if I was peeing the dream must be over. So ended my flying.
We went out into the halls for class. In the stairwell, that teacher who laughed was there and I realized how beautiful she was. She was close to my age in real life, and in this moment I realized I was not a high schooler. Being a dream, I wanted to just kiss her there but it would be weird with all these kids around. Instead I got her to come with me, and started changing the stairwells like in harry potter so we could get some privacy. The only problem was that I got so caught up playing with reality that I lost her.

And then I woke up.

Lots of dreams last night but the best one was where I was playing a game where you could mix elements to create powers, kind of like Magika, and then I slipped into it and it became my reality. Instead of mixing powers into beams and shards they were more like spells, giving me certain abilities or spawning different levels of creatures to fight for me. The lowest level were the ice powers, then swamp, then water, and so on all the way up to wind which gave me flight among other things. I went into a dungeon and fought some demons with my friends, but they all left early. When I flew back home I came across the most striking part of the dream. There were some small rain clouds hovering very low above the city, breaching the buildings. But for some reason, two smokestacks in the city were billowing the thick black smoke of storm clouds. This was entering the clouds and juicing them up, making these massively dense and powerful and terrifying black clouds that obscured all view into the city. I flew above them, and then after holding my breath and praying, I dove straight in.

We all knew it was coming, and soon a great ball of fire would consume the earth. I had some time to prepare with my father and mother, we said our goodbyes, and then I went off into the woods to go it alone. Maybe I would survive if I was up north enough.

The apocalypse never came. I came down from the mighty forest a man more thirsty for life than ever. I took the bus into the city and the subway into the downtown. I saw massive parties, and my old friends suddenly wanted to hang out with me and join in on the lifestyle. I snuck in places and just enjoyed every moment.

fame is an interesting thing. I spent the dream with the most famous person in the world, and for the life of me I can'y remember who it was. It wasn't trump, although the comparisons were fair.

I grew tired of them and went shopping. In the grocery store were two guys stocking shelves and a beautiful girl with them. I asked them over and over for free croissants to eat, and she was blown away that I would do that and asked me for my number. Nice dream.

There was a lot more to this one, but the best part was simply when I walked past a guy's house who had a lime green porsche 918. The color was ridiculous, but I gave him kudos for the ride, and suddenly he said,

"do you want to warm it up?"

He was going for a ride soon but wanted the engine and tires nice and warm when he started. So he tossed me the keys and let me in. I lost my shit, and started adding everything to my snap story, but I couldn't really operate the phone due to dream discoordination. I spent the next 20 minutes driving around until I smashed it then launched it off a jump into the sea. I climbed from the sea on a cliff wall with rocks that would fall off, and the wall became more and more flimsy until it wasn't rock ledges that I was grabbing but household items and clothing attached to the wall via velcro. Weird. I got to a set of monkey bars bolted in the wall, did some one armed pushups, then dropped down into a live version of a movie trailer for a movie about a family reunion that gets sexual. Weird.

In my dreams last night, my mind crafted for me a perfect tragedy. I will recite it now.

It begins with a simple thing. I am going to university, and it is my first day on campus. I am moving into my new dorm room. It's on the ground floor of a nice building I've never seen before, but as I'm bringing my bags in I realise that I am on a floor that is filled to the brim with pretty ghetto dudes, like my childhood neighbourhood. I have no problem with it as long as I stay unharmed. I get my bags and head to my room, not sure of what to expect. On the way down the hall, however, one guy starts paging me, asking me to give him my knife. This is because before going to bed I was thinking about the rap battle on Hollywood boulevard I had when that guy asked for my sunglasses.

I gave him the knife so he'd leave me alone and went about unpacking. The first day we had off, so I went to the movies. The theatre was full of people playing this iPhone app that was all about sex and crime and loaning money and making money. I'd never seen it before but it was like the next Pokemon go. Just as the movie started, some hoodlums went backstage and started screwing around with the operation, so they shut the movie off. I was hitting on the mum next to me but she had her sons with her and she had to keep it tame. After 5 minutes I just gave up on the film and left. I was going back to my room when I realised something. This app was more than a game, it used real world money and pretty much encouraged actual crimes to take place to offset the virtual ones made. As I walked down the hall the guy who took my pocket knife was begging another guy for a 3% loan. The dude shook him off, so he started following me along with another dude. They started yelling about how hard their fathers worked to get the money for them to attend this school. They told me to give them my easy money. I told them to kindly fuck off and make their own. They grabbed me and pulled knives. Somehow, in slow motion, I grabbed my knife from the guy then grabbed the other one, and stabbed them both to death while they held me tight. The knives moved in and out easily, and their grips slowly faded as they fell to the floor. What the fuck. I'm so fucked. I just killed two guys. I go to my room and call campus police, tell them I was being mugged and had to kill them. "Sounds like a likely story, two young black men attack you and you defend yourself, eh? You sure that's what happened there, son?" Fuck that guy. I'm no racist and I'm not about to go down for it. I flag down the officers he calls in, explain it to them every step of the way, and get the fuck out of there.

Then the story changes. Somewhere along the road after that incident, I bumped into Anna Kendrick. I saw her in a movie last night and was thinking about her a lot before bed, and here she was. I thought she'd be a huge diva in person, but this version of her was just so sweet and amazing. Like a movie character. And suddenly it was my life. I pulled off some grandiose romancing and managed to get the girl. She and I fit together like two peas in a pod, but more than anything she was just so beautiful I couldn't look away. After some time, we retired to my room. Passionately kissing her, we slowly disrobed, and I entered her.

And then I went soft.

For a man, this is pretty much one of the worst things that can happen. The anxiety that it causes pretty much secures the fact that you will not be recovering from this. She starts to blame herself, stating she isn't pretty enough, she isn't doing the right thing. I am just losing my mind. I'm still kissing her all over and generally enjoying having this absolute unicorn in my arms but I can also feel everything falling apart. We try and try, and we go to a hot tub and we try in there. Nothing. Finally, I say that I'll take the old man pill, and I know I have a couple left from when I did ecstasy and my guy gave me some as a 'backup'. I pull it out, pop one, and now I know we need to kill 30 minutes. A man comes from out of nowhere asking what I just did to the water, I try to explain it was a medication that I took but he thinks I poisoned the water, so we get out. We have lots of time anyway.

As soon as we get out of the hot tub, with the timing of a Shakespearean death, everything changes. Out of absolutely nowhere comes Javier Bardem. Before he speaks I know that something massive is about to happen and I can already feel the heartbreak. He approaches me as if he knows me. As if everybody knows me. I nod back to him, and he smiles. "Mr Bingus. Your work here has become most groundbreaking, and it has not been ignored by those in power. I have a proposition for you."

I know this feeling in my gut. Anna has her arm around me. She is shaken, confused, she just wants to go back to my room and feel loved, like it isn't her fault. I owe her this so much. I think to myself VERY clearly,
"No matter what he says, ignore it and go back with her. She is what matters. I am self-aware of this right now, and I will not allow this turn to ruin everything when I am so close to happiness."

Javier goes on to outline what it is he's offering me.
He tells me it will pay 2 million dollars.
Anna is very rich and money is no reason to leave her.
He explains that I will have a leading role in this.
Anna is my leading lady, I will be fine with just her.
He tells me there is a new research project opening up across the country, where all of the bright young minds in the nation are gathered together, living under one roof. And this is where I am to go.
It couldn't hurt to see what he's talking about. It sounds boring, and it might impress her. I agree to go see this place.

When we get there, it is basically everything I was not expecting. The first thing we see as we enter a classic old ratty residence is a room full of kids my age, all hanging out and playing music, exchanging scientific ideas. The ultimate creative session. Something I've never had. We walk further down the hallway and see art on the walls from the students. Very cool, I think. Then, at the end of the hall, I hear a familiar voice. And the voice pops its head around the doorframe. It's Anna. Anna M, from my actual life. The prettiest girl I know. She smiles, excited, and pulls me into the room.

"Check it out!"
"You're living here too?" I ask. I look around the room and Jessica is here too. And I can see other girls bags.
"Yep! And we're all rooming together. We're the film kids of this operation, and we're going to make a documentary about the amazing things that will happen here. And you've been chosen to direct it. We're your crew!" She gives me a big smile.

She hasn't seen Anna Kendrick yet. She's being very warm with me. I think to myself, how could this possibly get any better. A room of beautiful girls who will work under me, a whole community of the best of my generation. Against one girl. Then, as if god wanted to rub it further in my face, I look outside. Mustangs. Scooby vans. VW campers. It's the fucking 70's. This fucking town, for some reason, is still the 70's. That is why everything is so old here, the clothes so cool and the dorms so old school.
I look back at Anna Kendrick, who's in the room now, giving me this look like "Am I still worth it?" Her soul is being crushed. I am at such an extreme level of elation that I say the worst thing I've ever said to somebody.

"You know Anna when he came to the school to see me, I thought to myself, 'How could he possibly offer me something that would make me want to leave you?' Well, It's the 70s out there." I climbed out the window, jumped down to the road, and started checking out the cars. I want to start talking all about them with her, but before I even looked in the window I knew I'd made a huge mistake. I turned back and just started running.

I ran all the way back to my dorm, which I thought was across the country. I sprint down the hallways, around the corner and slam into the wall next to my door. I listen carefully and I can hear bags being packed. I open the door slowly, and she's right there. Immediately she starts to cry. I rush towards her, her hands coming up and her head shaking, thinking I would try a romantic kiss or something. Instead, I just hug her, hold her tighter than anyone in my life and just tell her how much I love her. How much I miss her and need her in my life. As we embrace, both crying, she says "I knew you would choose me over that shitty place." She breaks off and smiles, looking me deep in the eyes. Deep in my soul. She wants to kiss me. But this moment is empty. The moment she said that I knew in my heart of hearts that I could not choose her over what would certainly be the best time of my life. Her face starts to melt. I enter a powerful internal dialogue.

"She is convinced. She thinks my reality aligns with hers. I am drowning her, pissing on her soul. Pissing in her face."
As I say this, I see myself drag her unconscious body to the bathroom, drop her limp head in the toilet bowl and begin peeing on her face. This is the most fucked up, disrespectful thing I've ever done. And I'm not even in control.

"She is somewhere on the scale between love and devotion, and I have just come back, only to mix her a most powerful poison dart. Surely, this will kill her."
I slam the lid on her neck. Crush of bones.

I snap out of this freakish nightmare. I am still holding her. I can feel her heartbeat.
"Of course, Anna. Now I'm very tired. Let's go to bed."

This was one of the more interesting dreams I've had as far as creativity goes. In the dream, I was in a new town with my family after they had decided to get a dog. We picked 3 dogs for some reason, as if to test drive them then return 2 after a week which I thought was pretty messed up. A family that were old friends of my parents came to visit to see the dogs, and while they were there they started telling us about this upcoming event called SHARE which they described more as a phenomena of love. It sounded weird and cultish, but I was intrigued. Maybe it was like a Jonestown thing.

At some point, through accident alone, I ended up at the event. It was in a massive warehouse the size of a football Stadium. The layout was simple in concept but very complex in execution. The center of the place was a massive assembly of inflatable blocks, like a little bouncy castle town. On the outer edges of it was a stage, and then around those stages, surrounding the entire town in larger and larger circles were all of the people, holding hands and smiling. The dress ranged from regular clothes to classic EDM festival garb, and people of all ages from small children to elderly folks were here. Looking around I knew a lot of people; my little cousins were right next to me, some musician friends were on stage, and the couple who told my parents about it were announcers on stage, preaching with booming voices about love and progress.

I had no shirt on because of how hot it was, but suddenly from behind me a voice in my ear says "You can't come here looking this good and still have all that clothing on."

They called for the lines to form into one single unbroken circle, and I was the last one to get in line as I accidentally hooked in with children. People looked disgusted, so I guess there was some sexual connotation to where you stood now so I just ran over to some open part with some 30 somethings. The announcers picked up the passion and excitement and by the end were screaming about love and acceptance and then the music played and it began. Everyone broke off and ventured into the bouncy palace. I did not know what to do and was kind of concerned so I just entered a random part after circling around for a while. I think I was somewhere alone for the first 40 minutes because when I finally circled around to see into the palace it was already well underway.

The children were all in the west end of the town, in small classrooms. The teachers were nearly nude and were educating the kids on body acceptance and how to cooperate with the community. I circled around to the east side and found my section. A bunch of guys and girls my age in festival outfits, predictably having orgies everywhere. There were many little bouncy rooms with 10-20 people in them, who were now well into the act and had mostly paired off in quiet affection by now. I was onlooking from my position on the surrounding track pretty intimidated by this and didn't know how to join in so late, so I resolved to just explore the entire place and discover everything going on. I wanted to know what the darkest roots of this place were, as I was sure they existed. At one point I just turned and entered the labrynth, and that is when I discovered that was exactly what it was, a goddamn labrynth. While it looked to be a few hundred feet across at its widest from outside, inside it was clearly much bigger. There were actual structures in here, underground passageways and service tunnels iwth dingy lighting and locked doors. I began to feel that I was haunted by a spirit here, who knew I was intruding and was constantly following a few feet behind me. I eventually went back above ground and found myself in an area that could not exist. There were classical london flats everywhere and spiked black iron fences, and yet in the distance I could see this town was still inside the labrynth. So there was so much more to this place that I had ever imagined. Knowing I would never get out again, I enterred the underground tunnels again. The sprit morphed into jeff bridges, and chased me as the dude through hallways until I hit the upper surface and he vaporized, as people filed out. It was over.

It all began with an argument. I was at a cottage in the woods, and had no idea when I got there. Devon and melanie were in the other room, and melanie was screaming at him. She wanted to sleep in the cabin with air conditioning next to this one. I gave her a hug and asked her what was wrong, and she said that he was kicking her out so he could text some girl in private. Then I was livid. I marched into that cabin and just started screaming at him, telling him how selfish he was and how unhealthy his obsession was with this relationship. All things I've wanted to say for a long time. As we spoke though, a supervillain woman attacked us who was pretty much invincible, think pheonix level. Luckily, Devon's power was that he could turn his whole body and its surroundings into crystals and manipulate them. His body suddenly shimmered purple with millions of tiny crystal spikes, and he shot a massive one right through her body. She dissapeared, transformed into a big crystal the size of a dog. With that, it was over, and I left.

The cabin was situated on the T House cliff, but this time the cliff was at least 500 feet tall. I flew down to the bottom, to find a lot of people coming across the water from a floating town about a thousand feet out in the water. Some cute girls came out of the water to climb up the stairs on the cliff, and I greeted them while hovering a few feet off the ground. They were amazed, and so began my classic dream of impressing people by flying. I guess these are all about how I feel insecure with myself and that I have nothing special to give, so my brain always fantasizes about having this ability that no one in the world has but me. It feels good to have everyone want to watch you. Plus flying is AMAZING.

So I am at the bottom of this cliff, when I fly over to the people crossing. There is a beautiful blonde on a raft, and to blow her mind I telt back and let the wind carry me hundreds of feet in the air, until she is but a spec. And this is when I become lucid.

"This is a lucid dream", I say to myself. I smile and breathe deeply through my nose, taking in the smells of the sea air and the feeling of weightlessness and wind in my hair. It is a beautiful moment.

I fly back down and she is gone, I guess the render distance gave in. I fly over to the floating town and then I really begin to impress people, flying around huge crowds or walking into one then when someone says something just flying up above everyone and casually floating off. I end up with a group of people who have magic powers but have still never seen flight. I talk to them for a while before I go into a wal mart. In there a guy tries to steal something. He makes a big scene but gerts away. The store clerk looks at me and nods, and we both become determined to catch this guy. Next door is a gun store, so we go in and he grab s a shotgun and waits out the back door. I grab two dual weild axes that are painted bright colours like coloured kitchen knives. After loitering for several minutes, the guys come in, several of them. One of them suddenly says "hey man, you have your wallet on you?" I see he's holding a shotgun, but I don't know if it's loaded or he just grabbed it off the wall. I throw my axe at him and it pierces his chest. I back around the corner but now I'm screwed because there are no other weapons besides the wall of axes next to him. Luckily, he's bleeding bad so he runs out the back door. I smile slyly and walk back out right over to his friends. The are confused, and ask why I'm not scared anymore. "Don't worry, john out there will take nice care of your friend." Boom. I can hear the result of a quietly places shotgun blast to the torso. One more shitty removed from the world.

I calmly walk out the front door of the store with a new shotgun, this one still in the package but also loaded. I look across the parking lot and see a wasted mall santa with ANOTHER shotgun drunkenly firing in the air and heading to the toys r us to massacre some children and moms. I start jogging over toward him, when a car comes flying at my from behind. It's some tiny pissed off guy, who tried to rip me off earlier but I ripped him off in a classic switcharoo. He's pissed, but he's so small and middle aged that I feel bad so I just smack him hard and send him flying. the women around me are shocked, but I start laughing and say that's the only thing that will keep this guy down, and they laugh too. The tenacious bugger gets up and sprints back at me, so I swing the shotgul like a baseball bat and he goes flying again, out like a light. I apologize to him and head over to the toys r us. It's locked, and it looks like mall santa went off to find something else. When I entered the crowd around the door I made the mistake of flying a meter off the ground and everyone was staring. Some girls just started reaching for me to see if I was real. I landed and started making fun of them for being so fangirly, but then I started doing feats of strength and flight. What a macho idiot I am in my dreams.

So I climb up a balcony to see into the store and see it has outdoor balconies in the back I could break into and get inside to see what's up. I fly around back, and on the roof I find a group of charming old ladies with big blue matching glasses. They laugh at the sight of me, remarking on how strange life is for me to crash their afternoon party, and I talk to them for a while. They are part of a group of sages that try to live a holisitc life in the modern world and use nature magic to keep their fingerprint to 0. If only everyone could do that. I waved goodbye to the ladies, and woke up.