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    lucyoncolorado

    Eighty-Nine

    by , 12-16-2012 at 08:35 PM (420 Views)
    I've got several dreams to post before too long, but right now they are just outlines. I've been busy and sick and don't have energy to write them down. But this little semi-nightmare really disturbed me last night so I'm going to post it immediately, even though it's nonsensical.

    In which someone shouting wakes me up...

    (I've been feverish and spent last night in semi-lucid states. I kept getting sleep paralysis and also dreaming that I was waking up only to discover I was still in bed, etc.)

    I feel like I've suddenly been pulled up from underwater. I can hear, but everything is muffled and distant. I can't see anything. The room sounds big and hollow. A man with an American accent shouts to me as if he is crying with anger, "This is a test! I wish I could just take you and force you to stay at home with your friends!"

    The shout really shocked me awake. It sounded like it came from outside my head, not from a dream. I woke up immediately thinking that it was R shouting. He was sleeping in another room because I've been too ill for us to share a bed. I thought he must be having a nightmare, and I wanted to calm him down. I opened my mouth to shout back that I was coming, but when I tried to shout, I realized I was paralyzed. I could feel my body in my bed but I couldn't move. I've had sleep paralysis before, but this was slightly different because the temptation to just fall back into sleep was so strong. I felt desperately tired and wanted to just go back into the dream, but I kept trying to force my eyes open until I could see my room with a blur. Then, I did what I always do when I have sleep paralysis- I held my breath until the urge to gasp for air woke my body up completely.

    I stumbled out of bed and went into the study where R was sleeping. I could still hear that voice echoing with such urgency. The voice sounded like someone in a violent argument. For a second, I was actually afraid to approach R until he was totally awake unless he was still as angry as he sounded when he was shouting. So first I peaked into the study and called at him from the doorway. He didn't move as he was sleeping soundly. It was about 2:45AM. I walked over to him and gently woke him up. "You're having a nightmare," I told him. But it was very hard to rouse him, and when he finally woke up he said he'd been sleeping peacefully and hadn't shouted out all.

    Then I realized that voice sounded nothing at all like R, who does not have an American accent and who almost never screams or becomes angry. Moreover, I told R what the voice said and as I was saying the words out loud, I realized they are non-sensical. I dreamt the voice myself, but it seemed so real!

    For the next hour after that, the house seemed to dark and too still and everything seemed fake and surreal. It was a really creepy feeling and I was too scared to sleep alone. Damn fever dreams.

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