side notes

"You will always be the sunshine, I will always be an eagle"

I was planning on doing a wbtb and then lding for the totm, but I got the ld before the wbtb.

A very long dream where me and mom go from tasting food at some fancy restaurant to running away from street thugs in a nasty area. The dream covered a great deal of distance by foot. At some point towards obviously the end of the REM, my awareness goes up and I have a moment of clarity. I remember the totm and actually also a moment before all the running away and eating that was also lucid and I did a quick tree climb there as well but a short one before losing lucidity. We are in the streets of this South African town and I am excited about exploring, thinking I can do the task of the month later as I feel I have plenty of time. Still, I decide to give it a try now rather than later. There is a tree right in front of me, and while holding something in one hand, I use the other to climb up the tree. It is very easy to do, which feels weird and cool at the same time. As I focus on the tree, couple more branches appear and I wonder would this turn into an endless climbing. Luckily, the tree height stops to extend beyond and I finally reach its top. I remind myself to have a look at the surroundings, checking out the streets below, the buildings ahead and what looks like a small park in between. At this point, the dream ends rather unexpectedly.

Backlog: 28 April Part II

I do a quick mental review, briefly think about tasks, toss around and then fall back to sleep.

About 60-75 mins (timed) worth of sleep, with about 3/4 of it lucid. Yet, I remember only fragments here and there mostly of some of my actions.

Earliest point. It seems I became lucid in the first couple of mins after a brief nrem period. No distinct bodily sensations upon falling asleep. I immediately recall a number of the tasks. The speck of dust totm comes to mind again and I allow myself to be lifted up in the air. I briefly think about the bird glide dream flying mode and that it actually doesn't involve active flying but using the wind as well (in the case of no flapping). The wind carries me over the streets of this unknown town. I then get down to street level and try to recall other tasks. The only thing that comes to mind is Earth bending where you have to create a mountain. I look ahead thinking about a mountain appearing and as I stare in the distance I begin to distinguish the features of a mountain and the view is quite clear too! Feeling very excited about this!

Near the same location as the mountain totm, on the streets, I wonder what to do and think that I should try the totys. At the moment, I don't remember almost any of them apart from the (God of Wine) drinking contest task. I spot a nearby bar just to the side so I enter ready to get drunk. I'm trying to pick what to drink, not remembering if the task required a particular alcohol or not. There is a large beer glass waiting invitingly on the counter. Yet, the DCs around look terrible, and this whole place smells like spirits in a rather unpleasant way. I don't like the atmosphere so I leave and walk around allowing the place to change. In the end, I opt for entering another place altogether like a bar again, but looking much better. At this point I am aware that am supposed to have drinking buddies or rather the other competitors Hercules and Dionysus.

A number of DCs join me and I think they are appropriate, wearing antique clothes, though Hercules isn't as muscular as I would like him to be. And the other DC (God of Wine) turns out to be Leonardo DiCaprio! I find this particularly amuzing and think that he fits the role of Dionysus. I then finally correctly decide that we will be drinking wine and grab a bottle from the rack near the wall. Slightly confused as to whether we are supposed to be sharing the same bottle or each should have his own, I pause for a minute. Then a couple more bottles materialize in the hands of the DCs. There is also a third DC. We raise bottles for a cheers and then the other DCs drink some of their wine. I start pouring the contents of the bottle in my mouth. This takes longer than expected for a dream, but other than that is extremely realistic in terms of sensation. It really feels as if I am drinking, and pouring the contents of an entire bottle, hence the length in drinking time. This even worries me that the dream might end from too much focus on only one thing, but the bottle is finally empty. The other DCs have no more desire to drink and I emerge as victor in the contest!

End of memory. Dream transition.

In the next part of the dream I do not do almost anything actively, but rather try to spend as much time in the dream simply walking and looking around. The strategy is successful, but overwhelmed with the amount of information, I don't recall amost anything in particular detail. As I go from one place to the next I am convinced to have discovered the key to spending max time in the dream without interruption, that you can have an entire REM intact without the fade outs.

Actually, I do remember now that I feel the need not to look for too long at particular objects. My clarity was much better when I was moving and only paying minimal attention to specific objects, as compared to when I was paying more attention to them. I felt like I had no interest in them whatsoever either, I saw no point?

Fragment: I read a female name somewhere and I repeat it many times out loud because I want to remember it upon waking. I even make some DCs shout it. No idea what the name was.

At some point I find myself inside this place and recall another of the element bending tasks - to set something on fire. Me and another DC are in a building so I try to set one of the corridors on fire by summoning flames on the walls. I also get the other DC to do the same, but neither of us is fully successful - though we manage to get the corridor to be covered in orange colored fire like decorations.

I continue walking around, trying to maintain my attention, but notice this is becoming quite tiring. As I enter the next room, it is a dark room and everything is very blurry. I immediately begin to feel that this has an effect on my attention (especially after so much exercising it) and that am starting to lose the dream. I try to flip a light switch, but of course it does not work. At this point I try to will the lights to turn on, which lights up the room, but by increasing light coming from the outside. Nevertheless it has the effect of restoring the balance in the dream. I am rather mentally exhausted at this point to keep focusing on the dream and thinking what else to do. There are a few DCs in bed and after some contemplations, decide to enjoy some side activities, which are unsuccessful as the male DC is not very interested

I lose lucidity and then this becomes a non-ld scenario with me and the male DC with confusing explanations from his side. We continue exploring the building.

Busy week. Posting a super short summary for reference.

02 May

# 1: With Rumplestiltskin again, this time lucid. We talk and explore around.

# 2: aggression induced ld, dodging bullets by slowing time and phasing. Later went after the attackers using super strength.

05 May

# 3: distractions . Later recalled the basic smell task - found an aromatic candle, which unfortunately didn't smell at all. Then smelled a little bottle of shampoo next to it, smelled like one of those aroma essential oil extracts.

07 May

# 4 (++): Wild + deild and unidentified ld fragment: remembered the basic task again, smelled the air - cold and fresh with a gentle tree scent. Met a friend - actually imposter DC, talked a bit, listened to dream music in the distance. Memories of a cave scene.

Backlog: 5 March

Average wakefulness, I do my best to fall asleep. I get some very strong and bright visuals with a fast transition into the same room. It gives the inital impression of seeing through closed eyes. I examine my hands for a while, then get up and go to the other room. The dream ends.

I wake up, then have a couple more wildlets I can't recall.

A more coherent scene, now it looks like the dream leaves me somewhere outside on an unknown road. I pass by a small gingko tree and end up in a forest area where I address the dream and express my happiness about being here.

My mental clarity improves and I recall the task I wanted to do today - walk in a house and describe what's happening. There is a lonely tall house in the midst of all the trees and I head in its direction. It has no windows just a single old door that I try to open but cannot figure the direction. It's supposed to be pushed but there is resistance, so I decide to pull instead. It doesn't work because it is stuck. I think about our recent conversation with bemistaken how she would phase through the door, but I don't want a drastic scene change at the moment. I hold tightly the door and pull it. It looks like a door, but at the same time now also looks and peels like a large piece of wallpaper.

And surprise, surprise it reveals just another door. Ah, the typical dream bug! I briefly wonder about the feedback loop causing this and try again. I peel another door to reveal yet another door behind it. Oh, come on! I am not thinking so much about this. Got to concentrate on expecting what is behind the door, yes, it is opening to show the inside of the house. I punch a hole in the now somewhat solid door and pull/peel it to finally reveal the entrace. Yay! No more doors! I get inside. To my disappointment, it's an unpleasant looking place. A completely empty place with creepy stairs going down to the basement and up to the next floor. I start going up the stairs when the scenario worsens and see a kid rush towards the only small window in the place. It appears to be running away from something and I don't want to find out what that is. I decide this is enough for basic and head towards the window. I soon wake up.

I deild (3 more scene changes), having some fun after running out of tasks to do.

Backlog: 28 Feb

On the whole had a very restless night, trouble falling asleep, followed by emotional nlds. Later got woken up and ended with insomnia.

My wakefulness increases to daily levels and I am ready to get up, seeing no point in being in bed anymore. Yet, I know how groggy I will feel later on so have one last effort to catch some sleep. I try the classical wild plus relaxation tips with the sole purpose of falling asleep at this point. There is a specific pleasant sensation in my stomach. I try not to move but have to change positions several times due slight discomfort.

Finally, a bright scene flashes in front of my eyes so I know sleep is near. I even concentrate and make another one appear, whilst still having awareness of my physical body. It's like being in two places at once. The scene is fanstastic. I find myself flying high above the sea and green lands. The water looks fantastic. I can feel my dream body flying while being in bed and as it floats and is about to flip over the scenery.

The sensation is cool but difficult to maintain and input from my physical body takes over and I find myself back.

I continue to do my best to fall asleep. I find myself in another dream looking at a mirror. I am happy to ascertain that I have made it to the dream. "I'm in", I tell myself out loud while looking at my reflection in the mirror. My reflection doesn't quite move in synch with my words so I make some efforts to synch, but not to much avail. Then I notice my breath and just feel the need to breathe as if I am having some difficulty doing so. I spend some more time breathing in and out and watching my reflection as the dream interrupts and I find myself in bed.

Asleep, some short nld part, then another dream scene on the playground.

On the playground, which bears resemblance to this real life place before it morphs. I climb onto a playground structure and look around. There are a number of DCs as well as dogs mostly immobile at this point. I slowly move my gaze from one DC to another and then from one dog to another examining them. Everytime I do so, they turn and pay attention to me to. It's like I can feel my attention as a gust of wind animating and being reflected in each DC. This is quite cool. At this moment, I also notice that there is a warmish wind that also connects all of us and is gently blowing from direction or another. It feels really pleasant.

I try to remember any tasks and recall the basic for March - find a house and get inside. I look over to the street and see an old entrance door to this building. It looks far away but I decide to give it a try despite having some doubts about dream stability at this point (due feeling). To reach it, I have to first get down from the playground thing I am on. I jump and try to slow down my fall not to cause extra instability. It works somewhat but also rotates my vision introducing slight instability. At this point a classmate comes down to help me, looking rather concerned. Her face is reddish on some places as if from mild sunburn.

I look ahead to where the street is, where I need to cross to get to the entrance gate. The place morphs and now I find myself on an elevated fence looking over the street, but the edge of the fence is out of reach due to there being trees in front and also lots of thorny shrubs. This infuriates me and I decide to cut straight through everything. I find myself in the midst of all the shrubs piercing me and causing overall pain as the twigs are everywhere. This looks super realistic and I take a moment to examine myself. It just doesn't feel right me pushing through all of this vegetation at all costs, seeing an old cardigan of mine being torn in the process and all this pain. I conclude it's against my philosophy and decide to take the side road to reach my goal.

I gently move away from the thorns that block the way and turn to the other side, which has once again changed and is now a nicely looking forest. It's a dark green vivid color and the trees are close together as not to allow any sunlight through. I notice some interesting looking plants to the side and wonder whether to investigate. Still having my goal to find an alternative road to the house though, I look around the forest. "I almost lost myself in a forest in a dream", I think. The forest now reveals an invitingly looking path that stretches all the way ahead. I examine it with curiosity and excitement, trying to see what is at the very end - looks like a castle very far away. At this point I recall CL and how it could be a good moment to zoom in right over there, but before I could do anything, the dream ends.

I stay still and deild.

Find myself inside a house and a store at the same time. There is some political scenario going on and posters on the counter in front of me. The lady DC behind the counter is unhappy with the actions of the local supermarket.

While walking around I try to recall some of the totm tasks. I wonder if having ended up in a house now would count for the basic but I discard the idea and struggle to remember other tasks. After some effort, the mirror task finally comes to mind. Ok, need to find a mirror, didn't I just pass one by? I go back to where I was a moment ago and face a man-sized mirror. It changes from being clear to being covered in vapour just like it would in the bathroom (first time this happens in a dream, probably because I am trying to do a task!). This irritates me, but I go ahead and wipe it up a bit to at least see my face clearly.

Then I stand in front of it and slowly prepare to move inside. Being a bit apprehensive due to wall phasing experiences ending up in the void, I keep my eyes open and keep staring at its surface as I take a plunge in. The moment I do so, the mirror swallows me letting out a loud underwater like sound "Blop". It's pure liquid and shows no resistance. I quickly emerge on the other side, looking around to see where it has taken me. It's overly dark but I can make out the contours of objects around me and they become clearer to finally reveal that I am in a pantry sized room. It looks exactly like a pantry with shelves and all sorts of objects being stored around. I make a mental note of it, soon the dream fades.

Backlog: 26 Feb

I struggle to do a wbtb, stay up around 25 mins but sleepy and fall back to sleep immediately, wake up like 1/2 hr later with no lds.

Bathroom and back to bed, focus on having an ld by holding my gaze fixed ahead behind my closed eyelids. This seems to do the trick and I appear in a new scene immediately as sleepy as I am. It's mid day in the center of an unknown European looking city. I make some movements to adjust in my dream body. There is something like a scarf obstructing my vision and I struggle to take it off. I wonder if I don't pay any attention to it if it will disappear. The DC right ahead also has a scarf and is trying to show me how to take off mine. I finally swipe it to the side like a flock of hair and pay it no more attention.

I look around thinking what task to undertake, remember three, discount the next totm although it is also possible to do here and decide to go for Percy's dare: center of the Earth. I enter a building and head down the side stairs which should lead towards the basement and ultimately the center of Earth. On my way down, the stairs transform and become much wider and made of fancy stones. Like large flat stones in a hexagonal shape. It should be dark but the walls and the stones are lit by some inner blueish light like an inside moon, which makes them even more interesting. Behind me, I briefly see that one of the DCs from the street has turned into The Thing from the fantastic four and is following me. He seems more like a companion than a menace and I'm glad he is coming with me just in case there is something else down there. I continue down the path but the dreams suddenly ends. I try a deild and briefly see a cloudy scene that looks like a continuation from what's ahead but I lack enough focus to hold on to it and fully wake up.

Wbtb: I drag myself out of bed, drink a bit of latte (40?mg) and take lecitin, go straight back to bed trying to cut corners on staying awake. There is like zero effect on increasing my wakefulness but feeling guilty to be skipping my wbtb I keep waking up (yet still feel drowsy). I spend the remaining sleep time in a NREM limbo, a mix of deep sleep, HI and constant wakes.

There is a brief scene where I realize that am already in and start walking around but I either lose lucidity or wake up shortly after.

Keep turning and tossing annoyed that I just don't have the right wakefulness as I didn't do my wbtb. I repeat my goals and try to concentrate on my body.

I find myself staring at some screen ascertaining that I am in the dream. Everything is very unstable at this point so I just keep swiping the screen in front of me, pretending to be involved in the dream for a few seconds. When I feel I'm ready, I move to the side, which reveals that I am in my old room again. This is a bit annoying as I wanted to do the valentine card task, so I head towards the window. There is some furniture, slightly in the wrong place blocking the way. I close the cupboard door that blocks the way but it doesn't fully close and click and keeps opening. I just don't want to spend more time dealing with it, so I sneak forward while holding it then let it go. I go towards the balcony door which is closed and I try to open it via handle but it gets stuck. I decide to pull and it opens nevertheless. The action of opening this locked door produces a weird physical somewhat painful sensation in my body of resistance and as if the object is actually touching me (bearing some resemblance to phasing sensations).

I go outside and look around. I see the flowers and wonder could I be really dreaming? It looks very realistic and close to memory but is it possible that I still live here? Initially there are no DCs in sight which pisses me off due to the task I had in mind. I have to jump again but am almost certain that a quick jump or even a slow climb down can mess with stability at this point (due to quick change of perspective and reduction in tactile sensations). I look down and see one of the two sisters. She looks nasty as usual. I recall some contemplations about dealing with people from real life in dreams and decide to be honest with her. "Hey, you know what? You are really annoying"

After that I have no more desire to talk to her and contemplate going back inside to look for people within a reaching distance (I also wonder if I should just summon one here). The dream thins out.

I do a quick review, pissed off that I couldn't find any people, then continue with my limbo sleep.

After the nth turning and tossing, I find myself in another dream. It's a bright day and I am on a very distorted version of my old street. I immediately recognize it's a dream (awareness, no trigger). There is a middle aged woman with colorful knitted clothes and I remember the valentine card task. Very aggressively and without saying anything, I expect her to produce a card for me. She holds a number of items like banknotes, little pieces of paper, etc, that I browse but nothing looks like a V-card. Disappointed, I leave her and go down the street where I see bf and one of our friends. They look invitingly at me and I quickly go to where they are and ask bf if he has a V card for me. Alas, he coldly cuts me off "No." I think about how my expectations could have influenced his answer.

Bf and the other guy continue down the street. I catch up and try again "Are you sure you don't have a V card for me? I clearly remember you were carrying one!" This seems to do the trick and he hands me the V card. I examine it to see it has a number of Chinese characters on top and some almost normal words below them. There are a few love related words that are arranged like a short poem. As I try to read the words keep changing. I even hold the card from a distance to see if this would make a difference. I remember our brain actually doesn't need to read the entire word to make out the meaning.

Bf is still here and I say to him while wondering if he could possibly be dreaming too. "The words keep changing, see? Do you know why that is? It is because it's a dream."

I wake up.

So, I was having some difficulty falling asleep and decided to try out the method*. At first, I was trying to make random semi-meaningful sentences and phrases "They came for the food; People sitting on road, etc.", then switched to more meaningless stuff and finally went on to random generation of a set of any three words, sometimes with a slight association between the words "hobby batman train", "milk bread wall".

One of the early effects while trying to generate these words was that I started having mini memory flashbacks of real scenes from the past. This sometimes happens to me when reaching a clear but conscious state of mind and the memories are real ones rather than imaginary.

As I continued with the exercise, a number of past dream memories, again real ones started mixing with the life flashbacks. These weren't very vivid and would last a second or so as I was fully concentrating on the word exercise.

I was getting somewhat tired of continuously generating random words and also my awareness was beginning to slip away. At this point, I noticed the emergence of other random scene flashes, but those contained novel or rather different (not real dream or life memories). This is not new to me as I had on other occasions observed that the more towards unconsciousness I would drift, the more of these different scenes I get, while when my mind is fully aware and quiet it tends to get more real memory flashbacks. No idea what this is all about.

Anyways, the interesting part was that as I was struggling to generate a new set of words, I would begin to get a random flashback scene before each word (now a mix of true past places and some unknown random places), and my mind would actually scan the scene for an object or action and use it in the word set! And this would go on for every word or sometimes two words would come from the same scene. It a was really cool realization when it happened the first time, then I let the process continue. I wasn't fully asleep at this point and took a step back towards wakefulness to review the process. Then continued a bit more with the word generation, eventually got tired and stopped and fell asleep.

Looking forward to playing with this again!

*Tnx to Xanous, Jeff and CL for the ideas and links.

Date: 30 Oct

I woke up before my scheduled wbtb and had heavy insomnia. Used it as an unavoidable wbtb and concentrated on ld thoughts in the midst of all other unnecessary for this time of the night thoughts. I was super tired and my recall is rather bad.

As I am in bed, waiting for sleep, I get a few strong flash dream scenes that look promisingly engaging but those interrupt. I am very tired at this point to follow any transitions and just want to sleep.

A brief fragment where I emerge on a balcony fully entering the scene. There is an inviting flat roof nearby and I want to cross over, but it's far away. I lean forward and move in its direction and the distance shortens which enables me to do it. Memory about this happening a lot in nlds (yes). I also notice that I automatically continue walking on all fours, something which I recall also happens during nlds.

Memory gap.

A nld in some place that feels like ours. An uninvited guest makes an appearance and I wonder about that. Could it be a dream? It'd better be. I abandon the whole situation and spend some mostly unmemorable time walking around the place, just going from room to room, opening doors, etc. This helps me acquire a bit of clarity of mind and to hold the dream at the same time.

Bf is also here and after a while of room wandering, I stop and face his DC. I have a brief moment of conscious thought about doing anything with him. We start kissing but then I recall I really wanted to do the pumpkin task. The bathroom is right ahead and I go there picturing a pumpkin, which I see just below a chair or a crate of some sort. Initially it is a normal pumpkin, but then it turns into one made of paper. I rip open the top and peek to see what's inside - a number of halloween chocolate treats in different colors. I feel satisfied with the task, make a mental note and walk back to the other room. (Without trying any). Then I come back to make sure I got the details right, the treats are still there.

I think the dream must have ended soon after that, it seems I went into much deeper sleep that messed up my recall.

Date: 22 Aug

Behind with journalling as usual. These are for CL's dare about the Great Pyramid.

Pre bed: 200 val, l arg & lysine

Back to the old place dream. It seems even though I left the place, I have the dream memory that I come back and stay here every time for a while [yes, every couple of dreams!]. I feel guilty about not informing the landlord and think about packing my stuff.

At some point when lying in that room's bed, I get in touch with both realities (i.e. start to feel my physical body) maybe just waking up as everything looks very blurry now. Semi consciously, I exert efforts to bring back the dream. The room forms again, everything is perfect even the table although it is not quite an exact match.

I open the window, it's very dark and I look in direction of the neighbors to see a young woman holding or throwing some object. I look at the mostly cloudless sky and then remember an on-going goal [enjoy the night sky], expecting to see cool constellations but the stars look rather normal even too dim. I feel the urge to fly up and so go ahead and lift off.

This flying style is more like that of a bird (hands spread like wings), at any rate it feels like a bird sliding on currents of air. An unpleasant feel as I quickly fly down - it's a physical sensation rather than a mental one. I wonder about it and try to control it, fly gliding down a bit. At some point I land on the top of a nearby building. There is a DC below trying to interact with me. I remember the pyramid task but there is snow all around it doesn't quite feel right. Nevertheless, I try to summon a pyramid by spontaneously getting my hands to form a triangle and I impose it on the background, staring inside to see the pyramid. This results in a good but distant version of the pyramid where I feel like it will take too much time to reach so try again.

The outcome is a smaller pyramid, made of much lighter white greyish stone and something that looks like an entrance. As I come closer I disappointedly ascertain that this pyramid is way too small and the entrance is more like a diagonally shaped part of the design. I wonder whether this would count but dismiss the idea.

Somehow, possibly after turning around and looking for a place to do another summon, I end up inside a store. I continue with my summons here (facing the windows) and make a triangle with my hands, looking inside with squinting eyes causing blurred vision which helps manipulate the color and material of the pyramid. Alas, all resulting pyramids are a shifty mirrage and their place is taken by something like a large mosque from a nicely matching material. I leave the store to explore and see if anything can be made with the structure but the alarm wakes me up.


Date: 24 Aug

I'm in some sort cafe with couple of Asians and Emm. We are about to drink tea but I have to leave without paying as everybody evacuates due to disease alarm. On my way out I contemplate that in this dream Emm didn't quite play a positive role.

After getting out, I end up in this yard and look ahead. At this point am already lucid after the contemplations about classmate Emm. The grass and eveything else has a red tint and it looks very interesting. I remember that this was a task [add photoshop effect] but think that since it's already done it may not count. Once again I have an urge to take off and just fly ahead. I do so and end up flying between trees and bushes and towards a darker area of the woods. It doesn't look very inviting and also there is the reduction of visual stimuli that adds to the feel. Before I can do anything else the dream falls apart.

PS: Stay tuned for the next part!

Date: 3 Sept

Mini-wbtb: lecithin

Decided not to wbtb, no latte, but had a natural wake. Didn't quite concentrate on lding, but had some thoughts about it.

LD Frag: In a classroom and I see one of the classmates that greets me. At some point my awareness increases and I realize that I'm in the room with my class and dreaming. One of the long term goal experiments comes to mind (learn to recognize DS by experience from the dream). The room is full of classmates sitting behind the desks and I start my mantras despite there being some instability "I see classmate, I know that I am dreaming, etc." and make them all repeat this with me. I list a number of classmates and stress the dreaming part. One thing that strikes me is the synchronisation between my thoughts, my words, and the words that come out of all classmates - it all happens exactly at the same time, and it's as if I can feel this invisible causality connection.

After going through a number of names in alphabetical order, I decide that this amount of information is enough for now and that no more should be repeated. An unknown DC teacher wearing grey comes closer, not a very pleasant one. I decide to change him a bit and give him a hug. He seems so touched by this that he sheds a few tears that fall down his shirt, leaving realistic wet marks.

At this point, I recall the shoe task and start looking around for shoes. The are shoes scattered around but from different pairs and sizes. The room becomes someone's apartment. In addition, again, I become too picky trying to find a pair of shoes that I like. (And we know what this usually means). Finally, I find a pair of colorful moccasins, very nice ones and get on with the task. There are papers into the first one, so I have to take them out before putting the shoe on. I grab the second shoe and as am about to put it the dream ends.

FA: I have a task of the month thread FA where I read my current dream post and another dream that includes OpheliaBlue and Schmaven.

Another fragment/mini-dream: I appear somewhere more like outdoors and realize that am still dreaming, though I have the definite certainty that am going to lose lucidity (like feeling your mental sharpness going down) and I continue forward focusing on maintaining the alertness.

Frag: It's like the same apartment again as I figure out 'dreaming, same place'. These are like wildlets in reverse as I'm in the process of waking up.

Wake up, brief review.

Frag: Only remember the ld part. In an appartment again, this time I find a pair of slippers and put them on without any issues. Wondering what to do next, I exert a great deal of effort to recall the other tasks that I didn't plan on performing tonight. The fortune cookie task finally comes to mind and I head towards the kitchen. There's lots of stuff on the counter including pieces of cookies but for some reason I decide to have a DC do the work for me and skip the cookie altogether. I look to my left and see two DCs (think they were from the non-ld part), both of them holding a piece of paper in their hands. I take the one from the nearest DC and try to read it, the words change to something like 'crazy couple'. I consider the task complete and get distracted with the dream to lose lucidity.


Shoes & Cookies Part II

Date: Sept 10

Decided to skip wbtb due late bedtime. Woke up naturally and had trouble falling asleep until couple of mins before the alarm.

LD: I finally fall asleep and find myself starring at...myself. There is a doppelgänger DC right in front of me, seated near where the desk used to be in my old room. But she looks more like doll, an object rather than a real person even though she is looking at me. I decide to ignore her and turn to the other side where under pressure (due to alarm), I go to recall immediately my tasks. The ones I had planned to try don't fit the place and current time constraints so I decide to go with basic totm instead.

I recall the shoe task and have a look at my feet - bare, the next second my mind produces a pair of shoes exactly like the slippers I had when I lived in that room. I take them off and look for another pair of shoes next to me. There are a few actually and I'm conveniently facing the wardrobe. The ones that look from the same pair and right size are orange flip flops that I put on. My attention is briefly caught by another pair of rather fancy high heel shoes that I figure belong to my mom. I'm excited to try them but at this point my feet's motion translates into physical motion...Yet, the dream still holds together despite a brief wave of instability.

Since I'm still here, I decide to do the the fortune cookie task, moving on to the place of the old desk. There are lots of items on top of it and I scan for a fortune cookie while thinking about one. There is a misshaped fortune cookie and a piece of paper coming out of it. I notice at first that there are only black and white drawings of snoopy or a simialr character but the other side of the fortune reveals a conversation next to the character. The drawings disappear to leave an ever changing text. In its last version that I try to memorize it is an old German proverb that repeats the same word three times. It looks like an old Latin proverb (dream knowledge) translated into German.

After completing the task (though later forgot the saying), I get a surge of confidence and decide to try another pair of shoes this time with laces for the bonus wings. There is a pair of purple sports shoes on the floor and I grab and start to untie one of them. It feels pretty accurate and not messy at all. This excites me that once they are untied I will put them on and tie them, no problem. As I prepare to put one on, I notice that there are papers inside again. I take one piece out and decide not deal with the rest of the paper, but rather press my foot inside. My foot presses against the papers to make space and then my physical foot moves again and this time dream is gone for good.

Disappointed but after a while with closed eyes, sleep resumes.

DEILD: I'm back into the same room, but this time it's dark as if midnight. This is not welcome as I hope to find my shoes somewhere nearby. With a touch of sarcasm I decide to order more light, though I know it's rather difficult to turn on the lights either by a switch or by command. To my surprise the space in front gets lit up as if there is a screen behind me that casts bright light ahead.

Alas, the alarm rings at that very moment...

Pre bed: 3 mel, 500 arg, 500 lysine

Wbtb: 1/3 latte (other)

The dreams were somewhat unstable although the cycle lasted about 1:30, with deeper than usual sleep in the beginning, around 5 mins of non-ld and chain of lds in the rest. My recall is very fragmented.

Frag ld: In the classroom. I'm about to take some stuff but get very confused with the desks. Awareness increases. Tked a knife and tried to tk control the movement of a fly (partial success).

LD frags (I think one of these was a DEILD): In an underground passage and my awarness is higher, I go up the stairs and possibly get out in the next place I recall.

Inside a house, everything is quite vivid as I go to the balcony outside and see an unbelievable sight. At this point I am thinking about the Pyramid challege and this influences what I'm seeing ahead. It's a valley and a city in the distance but unlike any city that exists. More like a mix of classic and fairy tale architecture. In the middle of the place is a magnificent hexagonal/octagonal dome shaped monument made of dark rock with the eye of Ra on the sides. I'm quite excited by the sight of it but before I can get closer, I lose my vision. Really pissed off that this is happening, but the dream is still here and I can actually hear a number of nearby teenagers talking loudly so I call them for help.

My sight returns in small portions, but I think I lose the dream after that. My recall is bad between different scenes.

It's almost as if I have memorized the structure of the previous house as the next scene begins in a similar place. I recall looking at a number of windows and want to leave the place to go outside. At some point before that I was in the bathroom and left the tap running. Made a mental note about this feeling happy about not caring. There is also snow outside and I am sparsely dressed but say it doesn't matter.

I end up in a room with my parents (maybe after climbing down and then up a balcony), where I see my dad and a doppelgänger of him. It's a bit creepy and I want to go outside so leave the room.

[New scene] Vaguely recall examining and opening a window and imagining outside to be something awesome like the dome before that. Another fantastic sight, this time I watch the entire landscape build in front of my eyes. It's the sea in the distance as well as another amazing fairy tale medieval type of city. The only problem is that the whole background is quite shifty. I want to wait for dream stability to improve before working on a pyramid summon. Something about acting around to give the background city time to stabilize.

Memory gap but this was still related to the previous part of the scene. It's as if I have gone down and am now looking at whatever has become of the surroundings. There are lots of peculiar rocks surrounding me, like rocky mountains with very soft pastel colors. I make a mental note. Then all of a sudden a huge bolder displaces and starts rolling in my direction with great speed. Luckiliy for me, my subcon seems to have assumed a slightly different trajectory and the rock quickly passes at a small distance just above me. I briefly wonder about what would have happened had it hit me and why did it fall in the first place, did my thoughts cause it. [End of memory]

[New scene] The last place I recall, it's more of Asian type of scenery with a grassy hill ahead as I watch two rabbits and something else going down the slope. There is something going in front of the house at the bottom of the hill where we are. The rabbits turn to two crazy looking monkeys with clothes and a tribal man that are coming towards us. I use a part of a plant to block their way. My awareness goes from low to slightly higher and I become interested in seeing what happens once they come close. I approach the two dressed monkeys and turn to talk with the tribal man who keeps switching appearances. The dream soon thins out and I wake up.

Date: 8 July

Wbtb time but I feel so tired, decide to have 1/3 latte nevertheless and do the wrong wbtb - straight into bed. A few mantras but I know this will lead to no lds as I feel super sleepy. I quickly fall asleep and guiltily wake up couple of times to confirm this is the case but am too lazy to wake up more. I decide to experiment with the third eye as a focus point to see if this increases my wakefulness and focus for an ld. Not really increase in wakefulness but it did serve as a sort of anchor.

LD: The dream starts as I find myself staring at some furniture, while still in sleepying position. One of those moments where you are not sure you are quite in and I concentrate more on the forehead point to get a better grip of the dream, then a bit later start moving my hands, etc. In the beginning I'm gently floating and spinning, it's not unpleasant. I want to make sure that have fully transitioned to this dream.

I think shortly of the location and wonder whether to do a direct teleport but decide against it. I get up, it's grandma's kitchen and for some reason I decide to take the stairs to go outside. I open the door with tk and also close it and lock it with my mind. It's almost as I could feel grandma's presence doing that. I get down the stairs and tk open the locked building door to get out. As I'm on the street I have a moment of excitement and tk lift a car in the air. Also do very short skateboarding down the street slightly above the ground.

My mind is very blurry as I try to remember any tasks for the totm. I recall the DV goal and look around to see if Sensei might be nearby. There's an older teenage boy on a bike with a slightly longer hair that could do. But let me try to get Sensei here. It's a whole street full of DCs so one of them has to be him. I concentrate and think about Sensei, turn to the side in the opposite direction and to my surprise there he is - tall with browish hair, etc. He smiles happily.

We go up the street which turns into a gray building and I decide we will be learning superpowers. I feel that instead of me doing all the controling as in tk, I should try to give the DC more free will and let it demonstrate super powers, while I'm just saying what we are about to do. There is a a pencil like object and I throw it in the air, trying not to hold it with my mind and say that BB should try to lift the object. Before he can react, it falls on the floor.

"Ok, maybe you can demonstrate fire magic instead", I hint. Sensei takes the initiative and produces a large peach colored napkin, unfolds it, throws it in the air and tries to blow in its direction. I now understand what trick he had in mind, he was going to ignite the whole paper with his breath. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen and the object just remains in the air for a while. I feel a bit guilty because maybe I have sabotaged the demonstration by being slow to understand the procedure and didn't put my expectation into it. I'm saying something mid-sentence when the dream abruptly comes to an end.

Non-ld: I have an earlier non-ld where BB is on some other platform online and has organized a dream game where we have to gather pieces of a puzzle.

Date: 03 July

Pre bed: 300 mg valerian

Wbtb: 1/2 latte (other, around 40 mg caffeine)

In this ld series, counted at least 3 DEILDs, memory not at best, many locations

I get lots of HI, some are very clear and I am able to hold a few for a while but not enter them, also some fake hand movements etc.

Mini dream: On a balcony, they are constructing a bridge over it, I have some awareness that this is a dream but soon wake up.

Mini-ld: We are in the middle of having a dinner and I find myself chewing on tasty lettuce. Bf tells me about people having these phantom limb sensations, I reply that this is because they were dreaming, it's the dream body moving. I move my dream hands to check if they fit comparing them to previous HI attempts. All in.

I'm sitting next to bf and see this glow around his head. Could this be real bf? No, I don't think it's him. I say something to him I can't recall and watch for the reaction. The scene devolves into a mildly creepy one where my voice turns into a dry ghostly whispering independent of my command. I also feel some part of my real body (like back or hands supposedly) as I'm about to consciously exist any moment. There are other disturbing noises and I'm so not in the mood to deal with this and wake up.

I take a mini toilet break then back to bed.

LD pack: My recall is bad on this one, I think I deilded at the end. Once again I find myself with bf in a dark room and this time it develops into a full blown Xanous like scenario, bf is quick to disappear and this eerie invisible entity comes instead.

This whole thing is probably just my imagination but I feel I can't control the entity. What it does is lift me upside down at the level of the ceiling and keeps me spinning and spinning in the air. Continuous spacial rotation is not pleasant and you get dizzy just like irl (without expecting it). I'm hoping that this would stop but it doesn't so I decide to attack the thing. I do my best trying to take it apart, it looks like some movie type of dark creature. Since nothing helps, I let go and leave it spin me around to see what happens.

Memory gap so not sure what happened next.

I appear in a dark modern apartment. Do I know this place, have I been here before? The arrangement is somewhat similar to a few old non-lds but not exactly. I'm a bit suspicious that the dark entity drove me here and the confrontation will continue. Just remain calm and continue exploring around, and there is indeed nothing out of the ordinary. I remember the basic task of the month. In what looks like the kitchen are two DCs male and female involved in some sort of activity/experiment and photographing barbie legs or whatever.

I tell them to help me undress and they do. I think they managed to get all clothes but there was a reappearing underwear top thing that I had to take off. Memory gap.

Most likely this is where I went for another deild.

Fragment. I can't recall in which room I appeared but now am at our old place, pass through my room, talk to mom, tell her to open the door to the balcony. She tells me the door is open, I think just like in the dreams of (Sensei?) the doors are always open. I go on the balcony.

The scene is extremely beautiful and vivid though a bit unstable. It's a magical late afternoon and and there are hues of orange in the sky and some buildings etc. I make a mental note about that and cautiously proceed to examine it in a bit more detail before rushing off for totm. I take the time to examine the colorful flowers on the balcony and the surroundings, can feel the wind gently blowing. Ok, enough as I start worrying that I don't have that much time in the dream after all.

The idea is to get down and continue with the naked task with some random DC audience on the street. Time to make that jump again. I feel a bit bolder this time, go to the side where I often decent in my non-lds and take a look at the street, yard etc. The amount of detail is simply amazing - it's as if every piece of the memory falls into place. How am I able to reproduce all that, I have absolutely no idea. The thing that strikes me the most is the grass. There are a few longer types of grass next to the fence with long grass florets that casually and continuously sway with the wind. The scene is perfect.

I am preparing to jump down or get down using any means. I think at this point I might have lost the dream though. There were some DCs on the street I wanted to interact with. Memory gap.

The next scene I recall is a place similar to my school and I head for the window again. Think there was more between those scenes. Feeling bold again at this point, I don't care if I will be able to open the window or get through - the frames change so it is hard to get out but I am determined to get out. In the end it changes so I am able to open it and look down. It's high again. This is so tiresome. I worry that if I jump and fall too drastically this may destabilize the dream and make it go away altogether. What to do?

I decide to slide down the building or do the usual non-ld climbing down so scan the building for any frames, rails and similar items to hold on to. There aren't many of these on this building though, but I give it a try nevertheless. I start to slide down and immediately use the sticky fingers technique where my hands adhere to the surface. To my surpise it works really well and immediately slows down the sliding to almost a halt. This is great, so I will use this now to slowly slide down, but before I move too much, the building gets much shorter and it's as if I just teleported to the ground. Unfortunately, at this point the dream thins out and I'm back in bed

I hold still for a deild again while a bit worried about recall and whether I will be able to go back to the same scene.

DEILD:Back in the same scene! Ok, I decide to help stability a bit, there is a jar full of colorful sand and stones on a table near the building so I take it and pour some of the stones on my feet. They are gentle enough not to hurt but provide nice tactile sensations to hold on to. I also recall that other ld where I drank a glass of cold water and felt so much better. There is a glass and a bottle/bottles of cold water and I pour some on my head and (did I drink any?) and body and on my head again. The water is cold and absolutely refreshing. I think I will recommend this technique on DV.

I continue down the street and spot three possible locations to go to. It's nice and sunny with a feel for some exotic dream city. I stare at the three spots trying to feel which one is most inviting. In one of the places is an Asian guy dressed with cool clothes and a motor helmet. Looks like they are having fun there and I head in that direction but the guy is no longer there. Nearby is a huge head statue made of sandstone, it looks ancient and a booth where this lady is handing out free tickets for some event. I briefly wonder about this place. Then recall the basic totm, queue for a short while, grab the entry tickets undress fully and follow the crowd to whatever place they are going. People stare at me as I explain this is for the totm.

The place turns into some sort of a train/disco. I go further down the carriages of this crowded place. My best friend from school is now tagging along and I become really happy because she is the best companion to have in dreams. I feel a bit conscientious about my previous behavior and once again repeat that this was for the totm. "We just did the totm", I say. Let me see if this is correct. I try to remember what the tasks were, reaching for my memory while being cautious not to concentrate too much like that one time. Yes, that was one of the tasks. I also recall I wanted to look for Sensei. My idea was to teleport to him, but don't want to push my luck too far with that.

There are lots of DCs walking around and I scan them trying to see if Sensei might be among them. Nope. Ok, any of you guys good with teleportation? No reply. Ok, I guess I'll summon him then. *Thinking* There is a tall DC just round the corner. There!

A tall guy walks from round the corner and I begin to question him "Are you BrandonBoss?" He: "Huh? Brandonboss - you?" Points at me. Then points at himself. Me? No. He's got blue eyes and dark blonde hair. I decide to probe him again. He denies being BB and says something else I can't recall. Oh well. I leave him and continue down the carriages which is now more like I'm exiting a disco or bar.

There's a stand where they sell cigars and some of them are actually candy. I spot a really nice package of dream lollipops (under transformation) and feeling mischievous grab them. Yes, it's a dream so I can take this. Oh, wait, the other totm! I wonder if this counts, the lollipops turn into other appealing types of candy and chocolate before I start stuffing them in my mouth. They taste really good like a really pleasant chocolate and other fantastic sweets. I can't believe it but this time I chew all of them.

I'm wondering what else to do here when the dream comes to an end.