task of the year

After a lot of misses and less hits with DILDs, WILDS, EILD, Subliminal methods and everything that I could possibly throw at this every night, I finally found a method that seems to be working for me. I found out about this due to curiosity. At first I thought the first try was just luck but it seemed peculiar to me. But when I did this successfully 2 more times I found out that this simple method actually works! And it gave me more consistent hits then the DILD method alone.

Basically what I did yesterday was I just went about my day and wasn't even thinking about Lucid Dreaming because I was in the stage where I nearly gave up because I was going at it so long. But during a visit from a friend I suddenly had a random thought about how my friend keeps being portrayed in my dreams. Then I thought to myself.... "I will have a LD tonight." and I did it while knowing that I would, with no doubt in my mind. Then I would push that aside and forget about it while going about the rest of my day.

Sure enough, during a dream about Candy and awesome tasting cookies that were put left out on a living room table. And my NJROTC class (which seemed to much more like the military then a high school program.) I got mad at them because I wound up being the odd man out somehow. And I got in a verbal and almost physical argument with one of the higher ups. It seemed to me that a lot was at steak because we were in a parking garage complex and some kind of enemy was out there. After the argument I realized that I wasn't just the odd man out anymore, I now had to get out of there because I apparently did something worse. So I dashed out and I looked around my surroundings which were beautiful. It seemed to me that this was an entire base out in the middle of an awesome grassy field. The grass wasn't ridiculously long it was about as normal as my grass in the back yard. but the color green was more faded with the evening sky. The sun wasn't fully down yet. Suddenly the feeling of being in between awake and asleep came to me, it didn't hit me, it kind of faded in while I was running. Then I said to myself subconsciously, "there it is again! That feeling!" I stopped for a moment and thought, "Alright now I'm going to try running at sound speed!" I closed my eyes and I could feel myself running, (which was awesome!) but I couldn't feel that push or any speeding up. I opened my eyes again and sure enough I was going at normal pace. I thought that if I focused that I'd be able to. Then I consciously, and on purpose, tried to really do a Kamehameha wave, but all I got was a near black out because I really focused the crap out of it and pushed it. Then I thought to myself that I need to ground this dream more. So I ran over to the metal roof that was buried in the ground and that led to the other distant part of the base. It was an outside spot with all of this stuff. Basically I got the impression that this was a small refugee camp or something. I started to feel the metal and focus on it, but it was too much in a hurry because the sub thought conveniently came at the back of my mind that I'm going to lose control again. I could feel the metal on my hands which was a first because I never felt anything in my dreams like that before. I could feel the bumpy surface and everything, but I lost the control. Then some other random dreams followed.

Despite the fact that I messed up. I didn't fail, this was a learning experience that helps me so much now. Now I know it was that feeling that I got when I would wind up in limbo after being knocked silly out of a dream. It was the same feeling from the first Lucid I ever had. I remember it, and I felt it, and now I know this method works! It simply uses the weapon that I'm using already during my waking life, I believe that there isn't anything that I can't do as long as I put my mind to it, failure only happens if I let it. It's because of this state of mind that I'm excelling in my college classes and my art work is looking the way it should, and the way I want it. This technique supports DILD and I think it may support others as well I don't know but I'll check as I continue fooling around with this one. BOO YEAH!!!

I've done alot of reading up on it and I've been telling myself to master DILDs first. But after this month I've had a change of heart. I'm going to master both WILDs and DILDs I need more control over my sleeping pattern and I'm truthfully (and regrettably) becoming impatient with the results that DILD is producing alone. I would either have an LD and then lose all of the minimal control that I already have by doing something stupid and extravagant (Like a Kamehameha wave). I'd rush the LD, or I'd become too exited and go into a free falling tailspin and get knocked so hard that i'm in twilight. And I have no say about what happens because of my excitement. So I'm going to preform and try WILDs every night before sleep (which I know is a no no; it should be 4 to 5 hours into sleep) until I get it. I already have some knowledge of what a partial WILD is because I've been up to the hallucination level more than once. But I used to get freaked out and wonder if I was going crazy because I'd hear voices so many times. So if anyone has any comments, criticisms, questions, concerns, let me know because I'm going into this head first, and I'm not stopping. Until I can do both or at least one of them.

Every morning I've woken up and I have written down so...many....pages.... But no matter what I do, when I have lucidity, I lose it just as fast as I gained it, or I'm aware but I can't do anything significant. This doesn't discourage me from repeatedly trying again and again and again until I get it. But it's a little frustrating to know that I have only so much knowledge of what it feels like to be lucid. My basic idea (and when I mean basic, I mean that I really can't confirm it but it would seem about right) is that I suddenly feel like I just woke up, and I went back into the dream or I'm thinking about the dream as if I was awake. There has to be a way to get myself to mount firmly before I lose that control. Because I lose it as soon as I see it. How do I know that the feeling is lucidity? Well I checked back to my first experience (which was the most vivid of them all) and I realized that after seeing that I was in fact dreaming, and then getting my arse knocked around in that tail spin because I got too exited, that same feeling followed, and it was there with me while I was in my spinny, blurry, limbo. then I realized that I've had this same feeling many many many times before especially when I'm in a tail spin. So my question is, how the heck do I mount myself in the dream before I lose the control? I don't think the "I'm an anchor" thing works. Anyone have any suggestions?

I've been keeping my guard up since I've started, it's no surprise to me really, I just find it kind of funny that I happen to have toys and action figures as one of my dream signs. It's either toys or cartoon characters that still hold a spot as my dream signs. As for Master Mind's technique, I'm getting better recall, and I'm still seeing the transition from one dream to the next. In fact, I had a bad night the previous night because of heat. But I see another trend starting to form. I always knew it was there but I could never put the two dreams together, the transition would sever them and keep me from ever putting the two dreams together in relation to plot, only bits and pieces would come up, if I was even lucky to have that. So now I got one month to go, and as a reminder to my future self, should I get discouraged if I'm not happy with where I'm at: Set another 2 months and try again! It's summer! You hate Summer! If you get discouraged then just know you'll do better toward the Fall and Winter seasons.

I'm reaching about near the same amount of weeks that it took me to get lucid last time. Since then though, I've only realized that I must've been dreaming about 2 to 3 times up until now. If I could do it without trying then I can do it more often then I know, simple as that. As for my recent dreams, I've been keeping track, and writing them down on a note book. I'll update this Journal when I get the chance. This is just me checking in.

This one is written down on my lil note book that I keep under my pillow to write this stuff down. This was last night.

There was a toy store that I went to with mom and my brother jonathan. I know that I have seen this place numerous times in previous dreams before. Jonathan was off trying to get something in the back. Meanwhile I was looking at a few toys that brought back a bit of nostalgia. We purchased what we came there for and left. But mom and Jonathan went in a different car. I drove in another car and followed them. until a certain point when I lost track of them some how and was following another car. After a while the car pulled over after the driver became clearly aware that I was following her (I thought she was mom sue me ). A lady came out of the car. She was clearly frustrated that I was following her. I looked out into the dirt lot area that we pulled over in and I then realized that I was lost.

The dream switches and I'm back in another store. I'm a little...how should I put this?... I was a little "gitty", a tiny bit hyper. But it was enough of it to make me want to do something stupid and out of character. I saw a fish tank with a bunch of little see through fish and a few gold fish in it. It was just standing there on the far side of the super market, in an appliance area it looked like. Then after a bit of staring I break the fish tank thinking it's funny (I freakin love fish, why would I do that?). But then the owner comes out and becomes frustrated.

The dream switches, but I get the weird feeling that I left to an apartment where a girl is at. and she talks to me about voices and personalities inside me that compelled me to break the glass. But then a visitor that was related to the fish tank incident arrives I'm in a panic and I hide because I know that they want money to pay for that tank. After the first encounter, they leave, but a person later comes back with a gun and winds up shooting me. But as the dreamer, I didn't want to die so I changed the outcome a bit, (the alternative outcomes came all at once though). I was also able to look at other alternatives. So instead of him just shooting me dead right there, I changed the outcome so he shot me in the gut instead, thus letting me live. But the other alternatives to that was that I went down wrong after being shot, so it wasn't convincing, or that I was breathing, and he caught me. Either way, those alternatives would've ended with him coming up to me while I was on the floor and shooting me repeatedly.

Now as I sit here and type this, you, the reader, are probably wondering to yourself, "why would this guy get shot over a fish tank?" Well here is why; apparently the owner had ties with some kind of mafia, or he was dealing in some kind of crime gang. How I knew it I don't exactly know, I just got a feeling. But as the dreamer, I realized something... the mother frackers just shot me again. But hopefully that wont matter in a couple months because if I can stay true to it this time then They will diiiieeeee HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!

Before it took me a total of 3 weeks to become lucid. But I've been crazy busy as of recently, and I finally got through the worst part of my life. So now I'm hoping that things with my eye can return back to normal. I've also been dealing with college and I've found a pattern that I may be able to work off of. So I'm hoping that I can get it this time with in the two month time limit that I set for myself. I also have a better personal reason for coming back...again, Shadow man has not returned, nor has any kind of indication or hint. This is good because it was around the same time that my eye surgeries finally ended (give or take a couple years). I read Sun God's post on my forum and the patterns do line up (again; give or take a couple years). I want to find out why shadow man was there for all of those years, nothing more. The frackers that keep shooting me can be dealt with later, and the disturbing dreams I had before can be tossed away now. All I want to know is what Shadow Man was, or is. And if he represents any problems in my body that are under the radar, then can he come back? And I hope I can pull it off this time. If I had any other reason other than obsessing over him then it'd be because I think lucid dreaming would be a fun thing to do.