non-lucid

I had a very bizarre dream that I'm compelled to document. It wasn't quite lucid, but...well, read on.

Early as I can remember, I was in heaven in what looked like a cross between a mall and a cathedral. It was very crowded. By chance I found the man who had murdered me in heaven also. I declared that I was going to kill him (smite his soul or whatever) and that the Angel of Vengeance was on my side. After this short monologue I was about to attack the guy, but before I could do anything he stabbed me, killing me. After a short delay I was reborn as an angel of vengeance, called a One (Something--I can't quite recall what, it wasn't "Winged", I think it started with an M) Angel, and not just one--it seems as I had spawned as a squad of armed angels. It seems that this rebirth had taken some time, since after returning the man had been long gone. I searched heaven looking for the man but could not find him. Instead I returned to Earth and, running out of patience, I began to kill anyone who looked like the guy (from the start of the fight to here, the dream passed as some sort of weird top-down camera strategy RPG). It seems that to end my rampage I was returned to Earth with no memory except the name "One (Whatever) Angel". The dream then seemed to follow me on a search to find out what this name meant. I began by asking clergy or people who seemed religious; they all either straight-faced denied that they exist or looked at me in shock and horror and told me to get away from them. As my search went on with no answers I began just asking random strangers (my search took me to a drink stand just as it was closing in what was some in-dream deja vu, as I'd recognized this even from a deep early part of the dream that I don't now remember). Early on in my search I'd come across a girl who had overheard me asking questions at some point and had taken an interest in me. She eventually explained to me that she could help me remember everything through a process that involved dreams (vaguely Inception-style); I seemed to have a vague understanding of this process already and was firmly against it for a while. As time went on and my search for answers grew more desperate I eventually agreed to try it. It was to take place in what looked like some sort of park. As I entered, I came in behind an old, black lady accompanied by a young child. I recognized the old lady as someone I had previously asked about the angel who was disturbed by my question. The child stopped ahead of her and turned around, he asked, "Are you sure you want to do this? It could be the last time..." to which the old lady responded with something about helping these troubled young folk. I followed them to where the girl was waiting for us (I'm going to give her the name Ashley, it seems to fit my memory). In addition to the old, black woman (let's call her Oracle, since she looked like the latter version from the Matrix), Jon Voight was (apparently) helping us. They explained that Ashley would have to sit/lay on top of me in order to merge our dreams and gave me a large bag to put over my butt since apparently the process had several unpleasant side effects (supposedly most people shat themselves upon coming out of it). I sat down on a bench and they gave me some sort of injection and then immediately I was in the back (left) seat of a car, with Ashley sitting to my left, the others in the front (Jon Voight driving). I explained to them that I was once an oneironaught myself and briefly described my first lucid dream. As if to reply and boast of his own lucid dreaming skill, Jon Voight turned his head into an inflated version of Ashley's head. We all laughed, but I noticed that the situation was rather strange so I did a reality check that failed. I quickly exclaimed, "Holy shit, we're dreaming already! That's amazing." Then I looked over at Ashley, who was looking at me also, however she appeared out of it or drunk. I noted here that despite the reality check failing I didn't seem to be able to exert any lucid control; at the time I attributed this to the process occurring in the overarching dream storyline but now that I think about it after the fact it seemed kind of weird. At this point I had a very brief false awakening (I only remember because I awoke to a lit room before actually awakening) which was followed quickly by an actual awakening.

I'm not going to count this among my lucid dreams being as it fit into the context of the dream that my reality check would fail (maybe this also explains my apparent lack of dream control). It was a curious experience. I'm a little disappointed I didn't get to see the end to my search for answers.

As any astute follower of this journal would notice, I haven't quite followed through on my recent resolution to resume dream documentation, however I do like to come back to this journal time to time to document particularly notable dreams (eg the previous post). The following is actually a dream I had a few nights ago and have been toying with the idea of writing down; it was a very haunting, powerful experience that I keep thinking about again and again.

The overarching premise of the dream was that I was dead somehow and in heaven. I want to say that the earliest part of the sequence was me living ordinarily in an area that seemed to be a common room with a bunch of offshoot dwelling rooms adjacent to a hallway that led directly to a hospital where I worked (I'll get into more detail in describing both later on), but I also suspect these may be memories within the dream (I'll clarify this later as well). Anyways, the earliest clear part of this dream took place as I somehow came to be outside the gates of heaven. I was apparently well aware of a conspiracy to keep people out of heaven, and that the primary methodology of this conspiracy was a complex maze system outside heaven's gate with a long line of people that were queued to enter heaven, and it was so constructed so as to keep people trapped, slowly moving nowhere in circles. I was at first able to see a narrative overview of this maze; people in single file line, slowly shuffling forward, many branches and loops ensuring that the people (who seemed completely ignorant of their situation and complacently moved along) were trapped. There were "employees" who seemed to be party to the conspiracy directing the flow of the lines so as to maintain things. As it were, I was just near what I knew to be the actual, true entrance to heaven, which was blocked off and guarded by a line of "employees". As I stood there trying to determine how I was going to get back in, I by chance noticed a bellboy carrying a platter of dirty dishes (I seemed to understand they delivered food to people in line). I watched as he entered an adjacent hallway marked employees only. It was unguarded, so I looked down the hallway; it was tall and wide and reminiscent of the grand hallways at a hotel convention center. The hallway went a long ways back before ending in a group of employee rooms (I assumed one of them must be a kitchen), but I also noticed a hallway branched off to the right some distance down. I looked to my right now towards the entrance to heaven and noticed another hallway opened on the other side of the line of sentries, so I decided I'd try to sneak through that way. I happened to have my messenger bag with me, so I decided I'd pretend to be a writer. I began to walk quickly down the hallway, repeating the phrase, "I'm a writer" constantly in my head as though I thought it would somehow prevent me from being caught. As I turned the corner to the right, I found that the hallway continued for some time before coming to another hallway parallel to the first. I turned another right and headed towards the exit. As I continued down this hallway I came upon a black man in a suit who waved at me in a friendly way and offered to shake my hand. As I shook his hand I only said, "I'm a writer" and then kept walking; as I passed him I could see the look of confusion on his face. I seemed to understand that he wasn't a guard, but that his job was to simply stand there and greet people. I exited the hallway into the hospital area (note this was not the area I'd seen from the other side of heaven's gate previously), which was comprised of square rooms, all hallways, some of which resembled normal hospital hallways and some of which resembled patient rooms with through paths. I knew my way back from here by memory; from the hallway square at the exit of the hallway I turned right into a room square, then left through three more squares and then right to the exit of the hospital area into my living area I'd mentioned previously. As I arrived, I slowly walked further into the room, examining my surroundings. Like the hospital area, the room was familiar to me as though I'd been living there for some time. There was a dining table in the middle of the room along one wall that was cluttered with papers and there was a television suspended on a thick pillar adjacent to the table. It occurred to me later that the layout of the main common room very vaguely resembled the living room at my grandma Isabel's old house in Halstad, and to that theme everything seemed dusty and slightly old as though the furniture, paint on the wall, decorations, and even the television were from the 80's. There were a number of people intently going about there business in the room also. As I examined my surroundings I became increasingly distressed with my disposition. I then lashed out verbally, asking if this was all I had left now in heaven, that I'd spend eternity trapped in this dusty room with some other people from the 1990's (a woman nearby in earshot glanced at me and rolled her eyes as she continued doing something), complaining that there wasn't even much of a proper internet yet. I continued, suddenly realizing that I was due to take the MPJE tomorrow but now couldn't because I was dead, meaning that I'd never been successfully licensed as a pharmacist and thus the last several years of my life spent training to that end was wasted. This angry diatribe was cut short by the realization that I'd left Laura behind and could not be sure when she would arrive or if she'd arrive at all (at least we'd already returned to her hometown, I hoped she'd find happiness again, etc.). In this strong emotional mix of anger and sadness I realized that my situation could not be real, but I could only think of ending the dream quickly instead of allowing it to continue post reality check and instantly managed to wake myself up.

When I fell asleep again I had a short continuation of this dream where I went to a buffet for food (I was aware I was still in heaven). The restaurant had many people but wasn't too crowded. It reminded me of the restaurant at Bill's gambling hall.

As I mentioned at the start of this entry I mentioned how haunting this dream has been the last few days. The reason for that is that afterwards I've been left with the haunting thought that I may have peered into the real heaven (a chilling thought given the "conspiracy", how drab the environment was, and my emotional observations towards the end). I don't genuinely believe this now (the fact that heaven is historically described as more paradise in nature, consideration that this may represent hell rather than heaven, and my ultimate awareness that this was a dream all heavily discount this notion), however I believe it does represent a phenomenon I referred to previously as "dream bleeding", where elements of the dream have remained strong in my consciousness long after the dream has ended.

By chance I happened to have a pretty decent length lucid dream, so I'd like to be sure to document it.

The earliest part in the sequence I can remember was some sort of fake Harry Potter movie (during the dream I seemed to think it was the third in the series, but couldn't remember the name), only it starred the cranky-professor-guy-with-the-eye-whose-name-I-don't-remember (that guy from the Goblet of Fire). Anyways, it seems he was going away and people were giving him various going away presents but he was being extra cranky about them. I recall the second to last one vividly; one person (seemed to be a young adult) held up this large, ornate deep green crystal cross with silver metallic edges, stating that he was offering the professor a chance to examine it and that it was a magical artifact that had belonged to his family for many years (it seemed to imply he was some sort of royalty). However the professor cut the student off from his speech angrily, exclaiming that he knew several good men who died in the name of that worthless, magic-less artifact. After that people started to disperse, and an older professor picked up another going away present that looked like a chest and looked as though he was about to leave but then decided to offer it up (saying that after what had just happened he thought the professor wouldn't be interested but thought he might try offering it anyways). They open it, and the chest is empty except for a small recess near the top left that contained a brass metallic pentagram. The older guy asked him if he knew what it was, and the professor replied dramatically that he did indeed know. The camera seemed to look into the box and zoom in ominously on the pentagram; as it got closer you could see that there was a different place on the other side. As it zoomed through the camera shifted to my vision as I saw a group of people walk by and I followed them into what I seemed to think was a hospital. We were talking about some project I was going to work on (it seemed like a job interview?). Inside, we entered some board room through a set of doors and then went to another set of doors along the same wall to let two other people in (I was already with two other people). One of them was Dr. Werremeyer, whom I was happy to see after so long. At some point it transitioned to me at my car at what seemed to be the gas station on University Drive in Fargo that we used to always get gas at. I seemed to think for a moment that my brother was joining me. We got into the car and were waiting there for a while. We amused ourselves with the two extremely short old ladies in the car next to us. At some point he asked me what we were waiting for, I replied that I wasn't sure, that I'd started with 5 professors and now had 0 and that if this was a dream it was kind of a shitty one, which prompted a reality check. It didn't pass (I remember thinking it was going to and being initially surprised that it didn't). I managed to keep focus but immediately getting to work. As I was doing this I was looking across a street corner and there was a lot of Hispanic people walking across the corner towards me. I decided since I didn't like this dream that I'd clean it up a little bit, so I mentally ordered the wind to blow everything away. It became quite a bit windier (as I could notice in the trees in the background), but it wasn't enough to blow the people away. I tried ordering it again and was able to blow a few people off their feet. I incidentally noticed I had a bottle of lime slushy stuff that I was drinking from. I also recall thinking this dream was going on a while (my temporal perception seemed awry here in retrospect) and I should come write about it. Since my current efforts weren't working I tried to get out of my car but somehow got my head stuck in the door and in trying to get myself out I accidentally woke up.

Observation: as I'd previously noted, during a failed reality test my breathing becomes noticeable as the kind of nasal breathing my waking body would experience. This time I discovered that maintaining this nasal breathing sound helped hold lucid focus. I seemed to think this lucid dream was longer, but I can't seem to remember much going on. Anyways, good stuff.

Had two sequences I could recall, except that the latter was generic and barely memorable except that it was basically just a game of HoN.

In the former Laura and I were driving down 25th street north of main avenue at night in the rain. As we reached main avenue I somehow didn't notice the light was red until it was too late. I swerved left to avoid another vehicle but then drifted straight ahead (presumably due to the rain). As we were drifting we were hit by a very large vehicle that looked like a train heading east along main avenue and it pushed us several blocks before stopping. Laura and I got out of the car (unharmed) and called the police to report an accident. Afterwards several people got out of the train car and then proceeded to verbally abuse us at length for quite some time. I recall being frustrated that it was taking the police so long to get there, especially since I'd noticed a police car shortly before the accident.

Had a handful of sequences tonight, but I can only recall one:

I was on House's team; we had a patient with some condition that had us stumped. We were all off working various tests and I was discussing the case with Chase when I suggested the patient's problems may be the result of a genetic condition that's caused by an extra X or Y chromosome. We took this idea to House and for some reason testing this idea required us all to go down to an elaborate cave system below the hospital. We explore the cave a short ways in and talk about stuff, and at some point I went back up to the hospital to retrieve something and as I was about to go back down to the cave I noticed several suspicious looking people with guns enter the hospital through a back entrance. As I got back down to the cave I heard a PA announcement that the hospital was being taken over by terrorists. We discussed how we might hide from them in the cave, but House was convinced they'd search every inch of the cave and find us.

Short sequence this morning. I was playing some sort of (seemingly aged) RTS game that felt like a combination of Total Annihilation and Frozen Synapse. I seemed to think I was playing against my brother or someone I knew well, and I massed up a giant attack but it was crushed by my opponents entrenched defensive position. This was followed up by what seemed like a video montage of several WoW-esque dungeon/raid sequences, except that it seemed as though there was some competitive component to what was going on; I recall it would have occasional text overlay narration explaining things such as "EVO prefers encounters that involve unusual mechanics like canons" as though WoW instances were something that would be at EVO or some other gaming convention.

Two fragments retained tonight. First was a sequence that I could only identify as some sort of combination of an RTS and Terraria.

In the next sequence I was an exiled prince of some nation. I was evidently staying with some island nation, however I knew they were evil or had bad intentions and had to escape the island to the main continent, which I managed to do with the help of some other characters. After there, I traveled a ways inland until I came upon some ruins in a forest. There I found a small army unit of some other kingdom. They asked if I would join them, but after thinking for a short while I declined and headed back the way I came. After a short while I met Aragorn and some of the people who had helped me escape the island country on the trail. I remember thinking that I was glad Aragorn was my ally and that he was the sort of king I hoped to be someday. The group of us started back the way I was heading originally and got back to the ruins. We headed further into the ruins to find that it was actually the site of a now-destroyed (night?) elf settlement. They told us that they had been attacked and ravaged by the army I had met earlier that asked me to come with them and I remember thinking I dodged a bullet by not going with them. The last memory I had of the dream was exploring a tower in the back of the ruins.

Looking at the last entry, you'll notice I'd long since abandoned my dreamwalking efforts. This was due to a combination of my (then) frustrating lack of success and the arduous business of last year's school work which made the preparation for sleep and dreams and the upkeep of a dream journal seem somewhat chorelike at a time when I didn't have the mental focus to spare. Now, having graduated and finished my PharmD, I find myself in a limbo between having graduated, obtaining licensure, and finding a job which leaves me with a lot of free time. I've been enjoying several fun, adventurous, and pleasant dreams the past few nights (the four quadrant pillars, the middle settlement, and being alarmed that the middle people do not actively defend themselves from the dangerous creatures from the pillars!), which remind me of my old lucid dreaming efforts. Being that my mental obligations are quite sparing and free time abound nowadays, I feel that it is my duty to return to pursuing mastery of my nocturnal subconscious, so starting tonight (or this morning I guess, I've been rolling into a 4AM-noonish sleep pattern) I'll be once more laying the groundwork starting with good-old simple dream recall.

I don't know if I'll get around to finishing my last summary post or if I'll continue that practice going forward, but I'm going to take it easy and play things by ear for now.

Had a number of fragmentoid dreams that seemed to mostly have to do with Dead Rising 2, which I finally got around to installing and playing extensively yesterday. I also remember a sequence where I went out to best buy to buy some expensive, $2000 computer hardware. When I brought it home, took off the plastic wrapping, and opened the box to find a set of elaborate-looking gun gaming peripherals. Realizing this purchase was a terrible idea, I ask my wife if it's too late to return it and she tells me that they won't without the plastic wrapping.

Two sequences of note tonight.

I was in a large metropolitan city. I was driving (with some other people?) to some shop that sells herbal products. I/we went inside to check things out; I walked around checking out products, being my normal smug, condescending self when confronted with herbal products. For whatever reason, I stay inside wandering around after they close, I end up staying there overnight. During the night and as morning approached I argued with the owner, some hipster chick, over why the vast majority of her products were utter bullshit. I stick around for a little while after they open then eventually leave.

I either am or am playing my paragon adept femshep in some ME2-like game. Our ship is under attack by some unknown force, so I'm scrambling about the ship doing damage control. We take a big hit and something notifies me that I need to go check it out immediately or the crew will die, so I quickly head there. There's a big hole in the ship, but it's blocked off automatically by a glass door or a forcefield or something, but I can see that two crew members had gotten sucked out through the damaged hull. I grab three oxygen masks and then jump out after them. I'm able to get to them and get them set up with oxygen in time, but we're now out in space and drifting away from the ship. I turn to look back and observe that it doesn't look like the Normandy, but it looked reminiscent of one of the airships from Final Fantasy 6 (only more obligatorily high tech). It's facing away from us, and it jumps out to light speed but then immediately jumps back so that it's coming towards us again to pick us up.

There were definitely some dreams last night, but my memory of them is kind of a messy whirlwind of scenes. It seems I was in some sort of weird remake of Suikoden 3. I remember there was some kind of flashback scene where Thomas and the gang from Budehuc Castle were all children and living in some kind of mansion when they get attacked by some unidentifiable monster. They flee to a room, but it follows them and they enter into a battle that they're supposed to lose for the story (very Suikoden 3-ish). Later it seems as though the army of the protagonists are lined up on a beach, getting ready for battle, but it seems that Luc is with them and when the battle starts he uses some big wind attack. Sometime later again, I'm chasing someone through some ruins, and in these ruins are intermittent portals that lead to various other passageways. Whomever I was chasing managed to trick me into going into a wrong portal, and it seemed to transport me to a mansion-like place where I run into young Thomas and the gang, who see me and run away scared. I follow them to be sure that whomever I was chasing wasn't here. I follow them into the same room as before, where they turn around and attack me. I fight back and easily defeat them all (even more Suikoden 3-style Trinity Site dickery). I then go back to the ruins where I give up, having lost whomever I was chasing. Next, I recall I'm staying as a guest in a bedroom at the top of a tower on a white mansion that belongs to the mayor of some kind of small town I was passing through. During the day I explore the town, it's surrounded by a high wall on the outskirts and when I find the lone gate the gatekeeper turns me away and tells me that I can't leave at this time. As I wander back I come across a small-town grocery store, that I briefly wander through before returning to my room. That night, I decide to sleep naked, but sometime during the night I need to go to the bathroom so I go down from the tower to use a bathroom. While I'm in there I hear the mayor's daughter and several of her girlfriends return from a night out. I try to sneak by them and make it to the tower, but there's a room I need to pass through on the way up where there's one girl on one side of the room playing video games on a TV on the other side of the room so that I'd need to pass by in front of her. Realizing I can't sneak by, I surrender to circumstance and try to quickly walk through the room with as much dignity as I can muster. The next day, the mayor is making an announcement that the girls did something wrong and have to be sacrificed; I wonder to myself if it was because the girl saw me naked, but nobody seems to think I'm responsible for their girls getting sacrificed. The girls are placed intermittently on top of the walls around the village, and then bombs in the walls are detonating, knocking them down and presumably killing the girls. Afterwards, the townsfolk return to their lives nonchalantly, but I decide to check the wrecked walls for any survivors. When I make my way over to the destroyed walls. I see many people walking around outside the destroyed walls, but no sign of the girls. There's one guy who's standing still, I notice him and he waves me over, he tells me he has a mission for me. As he's explaining it, I turn and see the person from before whom I was chasing. They also notice me and take off running. I chase them up from the wrecked wall to a section of the wall that's not destroyed and across several rooftops in a way that's reminiscent of Assassin's Creed. We go through another portal and I find myself in an Assassin's Creed style city. I see a map that outlines my mission, to eliminate a target somewhere in the city, however my memory of the dream ends before I head out to start the mission.

Third sequence: this one was longer, but my recall only retained a fragment of the ending. The dream was some kind of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles RPG; it was in slightly dated video game graphics and all the dialogue occurred in dialogue boxes Suikoden style. Some villain (who may or may not have been Shredder, who made an incidental appearance during the villain's escape) was disguised as Donatello. They go into a plain, empty bland rectangular room with wooden plank floors. On the fall wall near the corner there's a bay window. Someone whom I'm not able to recall enough to identify approaches the window, and is suddenly kidnapped as fake-Don reveals himself. He grabs the person, then runs to the picture window, where he teleports away (as the villain escapes, an image of Shredder is projected onto the window. Michaelangelo is devastated, but is comforted by Raphael.

The fourth sequence is another interesting and memorable one, for a handful of reasons. There were several subtle indications throughout the dream that in this particular dream I'm female. As it was, I was trying to infiltrate some kind of evil amusement park (thinking about it now, it's reminiscent of L4D2). At the lines to get in, I'm able to jump over the in order to sneak in. There's a direct passage in off to my right and up some stairs. It leads to an area just off one of the busy pathways in the park. There I met my contact, who happened to be Neil Patrick Harris, whom I was starstruck to see in an unusual, excitably girlish kind of way (subtle hint #1). We walked through the crowd as he explained my mission, but as we were walking I noticed another Neil Patrick Harris casually stroll by. I looked at the NPH who had been talking to me and suddenly realized he was a fake. He knew that I knew he was fake, so he pinned me to a wall and then proceeded to try to rape me. At this point (and I'm finding some more comic irony in how it reminds me of L4D2) the dream went third person, so while my gender in this dream may now be obvious looking back, what with the slim girlish figure, long blond hair tied back in a ponytail, breasts, and a vagina, keep in mind I was going by dream logic at the time so none of this seemed outlandishly apparent. I remember having that odd sort of rape victim psychological crisis where I was simultaneously scared and angry that I was about to be forced into sex against my will and slightly flattered that NPH wanted to have sex with me. Anyways, before it got particularly graphic the dream reset back to the beginning where I was a the line to get into the amusement park. This time, sneaking in I took a pathway to the left. It leads into a backroom/warehousey area. I realize I may have tripped some alarm or that somehow they knew where I was trying to sneak in, because a ways up ahead I could see several strangely dressed girls whom I identified as being with the amusement park's security. I'm able to disable most of them by stealth shooting a barrel that explodes and then a fire extinguisher, knocking them all out but one. The remaining girl looks around suspicious and confused, so I attempt to sneak by her. I make it about halfway through the area she's patrolling when she sees me. I immediately run forward, trying to find an exit while she gives chase. We go running for a little ways down a wide hallway, then up some stairs to a raised catwalk for a ways, then up another set of stairs to a higher catwalk where I find a door. I go through the door and close it behind me. I'm now on a platform jutting out from the building; there's nowhere to go but fall a few stories down. Fortunately, for whatever reason, there's a column of stacked wooden chairs a short distance away from the catwalk and I realize I can jump onto the chairs and then ride them slowly down as they break under me for a soft landing(!?), so that's what I do. I'm now in kind of dusty and sandy area that seems to be a seldom traveled passage around the outside of the park; I can hear music and crowds off in the distance and it's now dusk. Dream ends as I walk towards the amusement park.

Hit quite the jackpot on dreams this morning. This is made somewhat ironic in that I'm in the nadir of an annoying upper respiratory tract infection, so I didn't put any effort into dreaming for the night. Finally, since our alarm didn't go off this morning, I didn't have time to fully write these up in the 10 minutes I had to get ready and arrive at work. Also, splitting the rest into two entries to make room for plenty of tags.

Second sequence (note that this is #2 following the short sequence in the previous entry): I was driving in a car with my family again. We were turning onto University Drive from 19th avenue north. For some reason we were discussing Oblivion/Morrowind mods. We were apparently headed to the Fargodome for some reason. We parked and got out to go inside. Inside I spent most of my time at the food court there, ate a meal and loitered about. When my mom was ready to go we went out to the car and then pulled up to the entrance to wait for my dad and brother to come out. They came out just as I was getting impatient. As we turned back onto University Drive the dream transitioned into me physically playing in one of the mods we were discussing earlier (everything seemed real and not as though it looked like video game graphics). I enter some random house. As I walk in, a thin, thugish looking man comes to see who entered and meets me. Surveying the room, I notice he has a desperate-looking woman naked and tied down (I'm not sure if I realized it at the time, but I recognized after the fact that she strongly resembled my wife). Inferring that the man was about to rape her, I immediately slew the man. I turned and was about to leave without untying the woman when I figured I might as well not waste an opportunity and stripped down to have sex with her. At this point she didn't resist as though I was going to rape her, but she was very inviting and willing and quite turned on as well. It was very sensual and amazing sex; I entered her slowly and completely at first and then held it there, feeling her around me. She reached down to play with her clit as I held there, which was very erotic. After a short while we begin to have a good old aggressive, animalistic fuck.

Unfortunately it ended before it reached a climax. I have a reflex I've developed over the years that wakes me up from some sex dreams before they finish in order to avoid having to clean up the aftermath. This time it was mildly disappointing, but not in that it at least left me with the memory. Though the dream wasn't lucid, it is a memory I enjoy recalling and it's something I need to remember to perhaps emulate in lucid dreams in the future. It's also worth noting that my dream avatar is much thinner, allowing for some unrealistic actions during sex.

Had a short, aimless dream wherein I was mostly showing various random patients around Sanford South University. Especially 4C, which can seem labyrinthine if you get lost easily.

Similar to last night, late entry. I may have been lucid for a moment at the end, but I don't recall any lucidity and from what I can tell the dream ended at or shortly after the reality check, so this one I won't count.

I was living with my dad in a house. The house was at the top of a hill, with the hill going down out in the back yard. My old shitty landlord Marv was living at the bottom of the hill in another house. For some reason, we would occasionally need to use his inflatable swimming pool, but he'd always be a dick about it. One time when I needed to use it, it was winter. When I went down to use it, it wasn't there, but I could see it locked in his house. I'd brought a hose with to fill the pool, so instead I just sprayed water everywhere to freeze everything. I dropped the hose and went back to my house. I noticed he was following me back up to bitch about the hose, so I turned it off and he left. He came in the front door later, mad about something or other, but he was just talking about how he wanted to go into the mall in town to buy a bunch of different kinds of coffee (like lattes and mochas et al). Afterwards, my dad asks me to go retrieve something from the mall. When I get there, I'm taken to a small back room where there's a clipboard face down on the table. When I turn it over, I find that it's a list of people who are either vampires or victims of vampires. I realize the dream is odd at this point and reality check.

My memory of the dream ends around the reality check but I have in my post-waking notes that I attempted to follow along the premise of the dream to stabilize, but I can't remember anything coming of it.