sedrick

Someone was making a new version of Lord of the Rings. it was turning out horrible. The orcs were basically people dressed up in chimpanzee suits. Sauron was a huge ugly monster and he had a wife. He ate his own spit.

I was sent to live in a bookstore. There was an all-boys' section. As sort of a personality test and to see if I had what it took to live there I had to fight a Pokémon boss battle. I did horribly. Some obese teenager pushed me over from behind. I remember being a bit surprised by that.

A screaming man came riding over a hill on a tractor and started shooting maniacally at me with a machine gun. I ducked underneath a car for protection and started saying my prayers.