lucid

apparently i haven't been on here since Before I Left For College
oh boy have things changed

a lot of my experiences since i started college have shaped my dream life into something far different than it used to be. more and more often i find myself both dwelling on the past and jumping far into the future. because of a rough first couple of years at university i had long periods of short, sharp nightmares that come back to me sometimes even now. because of a lot of soul-searching and self-reflection many of my dreams deal with fears i have only recently realized i have. because of an abusive relationship my dreams sometimes bring me back to a time and mindset i am still trying hard to overcome.

i am so different now, and seeing my posts from so long ago i can't help smiling at who i was before. i'm like, twenty years old. i turn twenty one in two weeks, but sometimes i feel pretty ancient. my dream journey is beginning again, and this time it is with purpose. initially my interest was just that; an interest. now i think i would like to utilize my dreams in order to overcome my fears. i haven't been vigilant about reality checking, or about dream journals, or about anything non-academic, to be honest, but i think that this new dream goal is important and will help in my efforts to begin living a healthier life, mentally, emotionally, and physically. wish me luck.

it's been a while, goodness. i haven't even been all that busy. but onto some dream stuff!

i'm going off to college for the first time this saturday so recently i've been having a lot of college dreams, as well as dreams about senior year events. as many as i've had it's been hard convincing my subconscious to take these situations as dream signs, so! lucidity hasn't happened in a school dream yet

but i did become lucid last night in a dild fashion! it was a ridiculously simple dream. i was just sitting on my bed when i suddenly felt the need to look at my hands. without my glasses they looked normal, but with my glasses on they seemed to have only three fingers each (maybe because i wear my glasses nearly every moment of the day?). i wasn't able to change the dream scene, but i did change the time of day to night, which made it easier for me to think clearly! not very eventful, but definitely a valuable experience in trying to command my dreams.