All DJ Entries

1st September 2020

Unrecorded time.

Dream:

Long and vivid but left it a while before I started to make notes though. Mostly bits from the end.

(recall gap)

Outside, something about planting a banana tree that grows massive. This took place outside my old home?

(rg)

I'm at a restaurant paying for a massively long bill? Amount due was over 300 in total, but it was for many people.

(rg)

In some place like the USA and something happened in this town I was in? Suddenly, loads of people were throwing their guns and grenades away because they were going off randomly on their own. Something about a stubborn woman. I tell her I'm not a super environmentalist but explain to her that some gum she chews and spits out onto the grass has antimonic acid. I explain to her that it's toxic to plant life and even to her. It's just that her body is so much bigger it ends up not mattering so much, by comparison.

(rg)

Some other part where I'm a "superhero" and some local guy and his partner are being dicks. Also they seem to have something against me, so I stop trying to be so nice at some point and resort to hitting one of them but then we go out into an open garden/yard/cloister thing inside a hospital and I call out to some sidekicks that will help me. Vague recall of us ganging up on them.

~8:30

Not actually sleeping. White albino Gecko visual, red eyes.

~9 or 10

Fragment:

In a dream there was this NATO thing me and H were visiting. A little bootcamp of some sort? There was an attached mini-mart place of sorts. We were going to watch some demonstration at this camp but we had to buy some CD for the specific day of the week since we hadn't done it beforehand. They were priced in pence for some reason. We wanted either a Tuesday or Wednesday CD and they were seven and ten pence, respectively. These were at a corner of the mart.

Someone at the camp explained to us that they could use a CD of the same day in the moment but they'd have to call Cambridge to make it work for whatever reason and the weather would have to be good too, otherwise it was apparently a waste of everyone's time.

In any case, we had a trolley and we got some 3L drinks like cola and there were massive versions of everything. Sliced bread loaves about two yards long, 1kg/2lb tins of beans. For some reason our trolley had loads of loose red kidney beans but we were apparently fine with this. I think H explained away my curiosity about all these oddities by telling me that the massive sizes of all these items were probably due to the fact they were aimed at soldiers.

Later in a room somewhere, H's dad's cat appears at a doorway. Initially I am incredulous but as I get a close look at his ear, it seemed like it really was him, forgetting to do a RC at the bizarre situation. The cat behaved and meowed the same way as it should if it was the right cat. I told H to look but by the time he did, the cat got on his shoulders and his fur was a fiery orange, so H didn't believe me about it being his dad's cat.

Then the fur changed back to black when H looked away and then the cat went away out another door on the left, H not looking again before the cat was gone.

---

Notes:

- At the time of this dream I hadn't really (at least consciously) heard of antimonic acid in any sense, so I read up about it online after this dream.
- Wanted to make other notes but feeling to sleepy and forgot what I wanted to make notes about.

Thursday, 8/6/20, Core2


False awakening. I heard my alarm going off but something made me suspect I was dreaming and that the alarm was just part of the dream so I didn't hurry to turn it off. I was laying in bed and not moving easily. A finger count reality check confirmed I had too many fingers but for some reason I still wasn't 100% certain I was really dreaming. I thought about rolling "out of my body" and flying but I was reluctant to fling myself out of bed if I turned out to be awake (it's not close to the floor). What can I do that would be easier? I wondered. I tried to affect my environment. The sound of the alarm faded in and out with my focused thought, then I made it go silent. The entire visual of my room faded as well. Oops. I rolled out of bed and floated to the floor, having now convinced myself I was in a dream and that I needed to stabilize it.

A lapse in consciousness as everything faded to black briefly. I found myself standing in the upstairs bathroom. Wait a minute, I thought after a few seconds, How did I get here? Am I still dreaming? I counted my fingers; seven, eight. It was very strange because my hands looked so normal even when I stared directly at them. I checked a couple more times just to convince myself once again. I was looking around me in amazement because everything was so realistic, an exact replica of my waking life bathroom. Clearer, even. I stared at and felt the bumps on the wall, saw how light reflected off the semi gloss, mint green paint. I decided to go downstairs to look around some more. I hope I'm not just awake and really sleep deprived. I thought idly, Otherwise people are going to think I've really lost it, staring at the walls and talking about how amazing they are.

As I walked down the stairs, I pulled at my hand, trying to see if I could morph it. I did, slightly. The weighting of gravity felt so realistic as well that I wondered if I would be able to fly in this dream since it felt like it would be difficult. I tested it by jumping off a few stairs and confirmed I could float. It felt stranger than usual in this environment. I reached the kitchen where my mom was doing dishes. "Hey Mom," I said, "This is a dream."

"Oh, yeah?" she said.

"Yeah." I thought of what I wanted to do with my lucidity. "Do you want me to show you how to fly?" I asked her.

"No that's okay, I already know how to do that. I've done enough of that lately." She went back to doing dishes. I was somewhat mystified by this decision.

"Oh, okay." I wanted to go out back so I started looking around for the nearest exit. I went and opened the front door. "Well, see you later." I added. Wait, why am I looking for a door to go all the way around? I could just take a straight shot through the kitchen wall. I changed course and flew at the wall. I can't believe some people get stuck in walls, it's never happened to me. All you have to do is not think about it. So then, of course, it happened to me. I got stuck in the wall halfway through. It felt like I was moving through molasses and everything went dark for a couple seconds. Then I could see an extremely vague back yard scene. I focused on a point relatively far away - since the closer focal points weren't yielding results - and I set a strong intention to go there directly. I essentially teleported to the intended spot and the scene became vivid and clear once again.

I flew above my yard, which was roughly accurate to waking life but much bigger. I spotted my late cat Pascal, a fluffy, 24-pound Maine Coon, laying in the yard just past the redwood tree. He was staring up at me. I flew lower and slowed, with a bit of difficulty controlling my height and speed initially. "I don't regret any of it!" I announced to him out of nowhere once I landed in front of him. "Well, except I wish we'd realized how sick you were sooner so you didn't have to go like that. We wanted to be there." I knelt down next to my cat and pet him, talking to him about our time together when he was alive, telling him how much I loved him, and pulling twigs and leaves out of his fur. He just continued staring at me with big eyes and purring, though I got the sense he was listening. The dream lapsed into a non-lucid.

Spoiler for Additional Notes:

Definitely one of my clearest LDs, and a really euphoric feeling to see Pascal again. I loved that cat so much. When he was old and sick, he started having trouble breathing and we rushed him to the vet and said yes when they asked if we wanted them to do a procedure to try to save him. He died on the operating table and I really regretted not being with him at the end. In hindsight we didn't recognize how close he was to going so we weren't prepared to let him go and also didn't have time to think it through fully during the emergency. I was determined not to repeat that mistake, and I didn't the next time one of our elderly cats, Talis, no longer had quality of life. It was very tough to make that decision and to find the right balance, but I know that in that case Talis' needs came first. Anyway, it was still good to finally get to tell Pascal how I felt and how much I loved him, even if it was just in a dream.

Being a guardian wolf
I am some sort of wolf, and I am there to protect Snow White from once upon a time at some sort of warehouse. Something attacks. At some point I see myself in third person. I might have two different eye colors it seems, and I am in a sort of lurking pose. I might later be hurt.

A very strange girl
A girl is sort of really insane. Maybe she isn't even human. Maybe she even kidnapped me. It might be in some other world, but it definitely is very strange and has a strange feeling associated to how the world works. She at some point wants to do something really strange like building a cocoon..? And at some point she might have sent me into another world or something, maybe restaurant related. In the end she tries to stab me and we are suddenly in the hallway of my home, and then I try and choke her and she is suddenly a cat.

29th May

Dream Fragment:

I remember little of most of the dream. Just one part stands out.

I was being shown someone's pet or something. It was a cat at first but then it was a hyena. It was on a stand or pedestal of sorts and the animal itself looked elongated compared to what I'd expect.

Then the person showing me the hyena, was telling me something about its urinary system and they put their hand sort of inside the hyena from underneath and pulled out a very large fleshy and desaturated pink sac.

Some explanation was given to me. I didn't feel any disgust and was curious about the anatomy and around this point I realised the hyena looked to be sort of split into three parts but still joined together by some spinning tube thing between each sectioned part. I remember the hyena's head was turned toward us most of the time and was panting. Something about this segment reminds me of having the dog at the vet.

Dream Fragment:

Maybe this was the first dream. Something about H and our friend C. I remember we were at our house, or some version of it. H was concerned about someone breaking into the shed and I reassured H by pointing at a very Sims-like alarm system installed just to the side of the shed door.

I remember it was a dark night but there was a full moon in sight. The ambience looked darker than it should have done considering the full moon and how big/close it appeared to be.

---

Notes:

- The alarm system from the Sims should have been a somewhat obvious dream sign.
- The dream with the hyena, while similar in feel to the experience of having the dog at the vet, was probably just a manifestation of the interest I have in analysing anatomy from a hands-on approach. My lack of disgust or similar feeling is somewhat unusual within the context of automatic reactions, but perhaps is some indication that I could overcome such reactions more easily with training or simply by being exposed to this type of demonstration on a regular basis. I often feel sad that things have to die for us to have a better look at them and this aspect and the fleshy sac both relate directly to how I feel about meat in cooking, at times.
- I believe the rotating tube sections were simply the dream mind's way of justifying the body being split in three sections while the creature was still alive with no pain. In a way it felt a bit like something I might be able to do with a 3D model and perhaps that's part of where this originated too.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening[/B]


Carla, her mom and another neighbor are at my mom's hallway discussing something. My mom's front door is not well closed and is banging whenever they lean against it. I go shut the door better and they hear me and call for me.
They say they tried to catch Magano on the street because they want to adopt the cat. They hope we can help.

I sort of feel powerful and I walk around with total confidence in my awareness, then I float and also feel like changing my clothes to a long medieval dress. Then I spot some buddhist monks leading people to a venue and I follow them with curiosity. Find out they are a bunch of con artists pickpocketing people while entertaining people with tricks. I try to disrupt their act with my magic but it doesn't work out, I try to warn some girl but she gets mad for bothering her. I get out but later find these artists at an hotel lobby with their bags packed. I confront them and some of them get away with the bags through service stairs while others try to intimidate me to leave them alone. But I follow them, one attacks me and fails. End up in a underground garage or warehouse where dozens of bandits are waiting for me to kill me. I fight and escape them all, but there is one I find really cute and as we fight we also flirt each other. Instead of hurting him, I steal a kiss from him. In the end, my magic finally kicks in and they surrender to me and become my devotees.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At my mom's. In the living room I see through the window a kind of drone dropping half a dozen black cubes that seem to be surveying the building. I have a feeling they are probes and will try tog get in. Go meet my mom in the bathroom, who is gently picking up a tiny flying drone and dropping it out of the window. She saw the others too and thinks they are looking for this one. But I have a vision that they will come in looking for us and will be followed by actual aliens to pick us up. I tell mom to grab the essentials and leave. I am in pajama so I put on some clothes in a hurry. I realize the drones broke through but on the neighbor's house next door. I can see in visions what they are doing there. It's as if they don't understand exactly where they are and are still figuring it out. They break stuff and attract another neighbor with the noise. I pick up cellphones and chargers and my mom turns off anything electrical for safety. Then asks why are they taking so long and shouldn't we be gone? I tell her I am still grabbing a coat and then we must go.

No time to escape but I have a secret passage in the bathroom. We lock ourselves up in the bathroom, I open a lid on the wall that supposedly hides pipes and electrical stuff but pressing the right combination of buttons, the entire corner of the wall turns around 360 degrees and reveals a secret tunnel. The drones come in the bathroom and suspect of something, they look through the vents but can't find the secret passage. The tunnel leads to the attic of the building. In the attic we find a homeless guy who broke in and been there living for some time. I explain I don't mind he sleeps there, as long as he doesn't steal people's stuff from their storages. I explain we need to stay for a while to escape some bad dudes who invaded our home. Later we go outside together to get food and we come back. He meets a friend who we also bring in. I focus on developing my powers. I climb a wall by sinking my fingers and feet on the wall as if it is jello. I notice near the ceiling a row of holes and I take a peak and see the floor of my living room. I check on my cats and I see a couple of them there eating at the table, some food I left on, having a good time.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

My mom's neighbor is moving in. My mom's cats and my own are by the door with me, watching. I am naked from the waist up.

Attending teachings at some venue. I have red hair. I get to sit in front of Rinpoche. He is also naked from waist up and smiling so much. An Indian lady by my side hands me a Tibetan medicine book. The intro is done by a speaker in Spanish and we can't hear a thing.

With Rinpoche again. Now a small group of women in a small meeting room, sitting on the floor. He is giving advice for projects and so on. I am not in any of those projects, but one lady asks me a favor to call this guy who wants to buy some machine for their organization.

I was at the first floor of a house. I looked through the window and saw my cat (Lotje) being chased by a large feline, like a mountain lion. It clawed at her, and caused heavy bleeding. I think she died not much later. I rushed downstairs and outside, brandishing a sword. I attacked the beast, but it was too late. Then I reversed time. It was really cool, and the first time I ever did that in a dream. It wasn't like time travel, but rather like reversing a video tape. While time was reversing (roughly at twice the speed), my own past movements were reversed as well. But my mind stayed normal, just not in control of my body. I was holding my breath while doing it, as it took immense concentration. I had to stop because I was out of breath. I was back in the house. Rather than rush downstairs, I grabbed my carbine, opened the window and shot the lion before it could hurt my cat.

I tried to do WILD again. I woke up in the morning, my body was relaxed, so I thought that it's the right time to do a WILD.

I lay on my back, and started to count my breath. After a time the position were always uncomfortable so I switched it multiple times. At the last switch I fell asleep and lost my consciousness.

I was on the street where I live at night. It was snowy everywhere. I started to swim in it shirtless and I slipped down the road. That was funny for me

Then the lucidity kicked in. I remembered that I was trying to do WILD.
-blackout-

I was inside our house, I wanted to go somewhere else, so I tried to go thorught the wall, but I couldn't, so I tried to put my hands through the door. Nothing happened. I even felt the hardness of the material and the pain in my fingers. "Okay, another technique". I imagined the scene of a beautiful beach and then I opened the door. Damn , there was the bathroom like in the reality.

I started worrying about losing lucidity like last time. I did the nose RC to comfirm this is a dream. I started to rub my palms and then counted the fingers. First I seen 5 but then when I was countig there was 7. I had two thumbs.

So I opened the window of the bathroom and prepared to swim in the air. (My cat suddenly came to see me ) I knew that this is a dream so I jumped. I never felt myself light like this before. The feeling of my weight wasn't there. The sky was still dark. I flew down the street. I yell "Let there be light!". It doesn't let me control. The sky was brighter a bit, I saw lightning in the sky. Wow that was beautiful!

Suddenly I was running on the ground and then I saw coming the family of my friend.

Then I woke up.


It's funny how much I tried to gain control, my unconsciousness didn't give it to me.
I hope I will be more lucid next time.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


In Iceland with Zilla at some kind of natural hostel, with indoor pools. I left a pillow fall in one of the pools, but I am so cold I end up entering the water with my clothes on.
Some people I know are there taking a swim.
At the library earlier, Zilla had two of her cats with her, a yellow boy and a fluffy girl, protecting him from a third cat, which I guess was the library mascot.
There is a kind of canteen / living room, which is a bit hard to understand how it works. People are playing games, but also picking up food from a buffet and each person seems to have tasks attributed. We are hungry but a bit lost about how it all works. They have soups, different yummi breads and stuff I cant tell if it's vegetable or animal, but I assume all is vegetarian. They speak in icelandic, sing songs and it is both silly and adorable. They only apeak english to warn the guests that outside it is a pleasant -2°C. I shriek and they laugh, because for them it is a warm summer night.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At a house with a long corridor, like my grandparents' home in Moita. I'm going around locking up the windows. My dad is there. I also have my cats and a cougar. The cougar was raised by us but seems not to like us or the cats, and picks up fights. The cats are afraid and bite me several times. The cougar then bites a cat but lets him go, clearly not with the intention to kill. Still I yell at him and throw him out in the street. A couple of twin old rich ladies, my neighbors, see it and come to rescue the "poor thing". I try to warn then that he is behaving badly, but they don't care as they always loved the cougar.

Staying at a hostel, changing the sheets in the bed. Someone caught a mouse in a jar.

Go to school and I am looking for my classroom. I am late, Ana Sofia and others also are just arriving. Not many places or chairs available. I sit in the back, can't hear the teacher. A girl in front row is an ass kisser to the teacher.
Then in the middle of the students, I spot my guru as a young boy, he is being teased by a indian kid pretending to be fishing.

A guy who's been stalking me disappears, but I think he faked his own death and will come back to haunt me again

Start dating my childhood crush Marco. We've been flirting for a while, I sit in the back of the classroom and so does he. One day he sits at a piano to serenade me and I sit by his side, feeling warmhearted.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Going to the movies with Riverstone. He thinks it's Star Wars, but it is some parody sketches on Star Wars. And the sound is shitty. Then I am the actor playing it live on the theater. But the other actor that should be there interacting with me did not appear and so the whole thing falls apart. I try to invite the audience to enact the jokes with me but it is a total disaster.

I am with my guru, sort of accompanying him. He doesn't sleep, he also doesn't stay around much, is always going somewhere, meeting people. A monk comes to keep me company, talks about alien abductions and some book author we both seem to know but whose name we don't recall. Then he gets too fond of me and wants some action, but although he is actually cute, I don't want him to break his vows and I say no. Then a giant wave comes from the sea outside, doesn't break the windows, but engulfs the building which gets under water. We pick cell phones and documents and leave. We go to higher floors and get out somehow to dry land. Then we see Rinpoche's students heading to a town square, all dressed up and I ask what's the occasion but nobody says. I sit alone at a bench and I realize I have my cat Buddha hiding in my purse and I hug him.

1.1

LD 111 - One-eyed Cat
I approach the front yard of my grandma's house. It's a warm summer day and there is a cat sleeping outside, in front of the house. It's a black cat with two large brown areas on both sides of the body, the colors change gradually, no stripes. The cat also has only one massive eye that is completely black, which I see as the cat wakes up on my arrival. I need no further proof that I'm dreaming, thanks cat.

I walk past the house and towards the forest behind it. The cat follows behind me. There is a fence and a gate that I try to phase through a few times, but no luck, seems solid. I open it instead and dream kindly lets me pass, even though I was doubting it for a moment. On the other side of the gate there's a small dirt path that goes around the forest a bit, not really used for anything. I walk into the pine forest and focus on what I feel. I feel a warm breeze. I pick up a pine cone and focus on it's texture for a moment before deciding to taste it. I thought that I hadn't really tasted much of anything in my dreams lately so it was high time for that. The pine cone tasted horrible, close to what it would taste in waking life I assume, very earthy taste. I snap awake.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Lucidity: ⭐ (1/5)
Clear: ⭐⭐⭐ (3/5)
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

With two other girl friends, at a dock, trying to board some big cruise ship. It feels like the 30s, we are poor and these big ships will take us to some new life opportunities. We struggled to get tickets and we struggle still to get on board. The dock is gigantic and there is no clear path to board the ships. Also, there are people randomly goind around in all directions. We finally see what looks like a cargo lift to one of the ships, but it closes doors before we get in and doesn't come back to pick anyone else up. We miss two ships. My friends want to quit, but we persist and we finally manage to board one other ship. Inside it, we have to struggle to get a pod cabin, in an area crammed with pod cabins, because the most tolerable ones are taken by other people. Some are really claustrophobic, because they are in rows and not all have direct access to the main hall, but jammed behind the front pods. After some negotiations we manage to get the ones we like. I enter my pod. I brought one of my cats with me. The pods are actually comfortable once we get inside, but my cat wants to go outside and forces his way out through the door.

False awakening on my sofa. My dogs barking loudly outside. The tv is on but lights are out.
I go check through the window what is going on, but I see nothing. I don't realize I am dreaming, I just keep on dreaming. I check the time and it's 3 am. The dogs start barking again. I go check again and I see a herd of big cows down the path parallel to my property. Some of the cows are a bit curious and get out of the path in the direction of my gate and my dog Hachi who sleeps outside the fenced area. I go outside to shoo them away. A guy comes up, he seems very relaxed about all of it. He steps inside my gate and brings my dog with him. He has his own big dog, named Lucas or something. I feel nervous, because Hachi is afraid of other dogs and gets aggressive, but the two dogs seem to like each other. I then worry when my other dogs come join the gang, because Hachi and the other male dog hate each other and that's why I keep them separate. But they don't fight. Meanwhile the guy wants to apologize for all the fuss and disturbance and hands me some money. I go get my purse and give him some change through the window. Then my yellow cat runs outside through the window. Tired of all these chaos with my animals, I go pick up the cat who runs away twice and then the white one also tries to escape. The guy doesn't get my attitude with the cats and dogs, So I have to explain to him about their temperaments and fights they had, etc. He finally goes away, and takes Hachi with him outside the gate. Inside the house I go to the toilet and I see myself in the mirror: I have a zombie-like Catrina face painting with green lips. I had no idea I had been talking to the guy like this.

After another year, I can finally focus on dreaming again. I'm having trouble getting the motivation to write as soon as I wake up, but hopefully I'll get used to it again, like before.

If a dream isn't like a story, or there are multiple different things that happen separately, I'll use bullet points now instead.

So...

-Was with my parents, and there were a bunch of other cats around, all the ones from the farm house we had to leave back in 2011. I distinctly remember calling out to one nearby, who was rolling around. His name was Boots. This is not the deceased cat, however. The only cat we now know is gone, is a tiny female cat named Ryza. I think I was partially lucid here? Eventually, I started crying, and I picked her up in my arms when she got close and I said "I just miss her so much" through tears. Woke up with my eyes watering. ...Maybe she's somehow letting me know she's okay.

-With my brother Aaron, and not sure if my parents were there. There was a small hill nearby that we were on top of already. At the top was a parking lot. A truck suddenly drove up the hill, and into the parking lot, while flipping multiple times, yet sustaining no damage. I remember saying "That truck's a tank!"

-In a different, yet familiar house, looking around. I remember it definitely being haunted in the dream. Haunted by the spirit of an elderly woman. Eventually, I remember looking around and saying "Thank you for letting me be here." Not long after, a horrible sensation coursed through my body, and I felt like I was getting electrocuted. The dream ended shortly after. ...What a bitch.

That's it for now. Gonna try to write in here more.