• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. 15 Oct: Teachings in a tent with my teacher

      by , 10-15-2022 at 08:06 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some place that looks like Monchique, where I am attending teachings. I meet some old friends, like Berna. One of these acquaintances sees me on a street when we're in the town centre and decides to be playful, so she invites me for a dance down the street. People find it funny and artistic. Then we all head to the tent where we have the teachings, and it is on top of the hill where the city ends and the forest starts. For some reason the tent is also very steep and people have to hold on to poles and other structures to stay in place. At some point people are grabbing each other and packed as sardines in a can, to be able to stay inside the tent. Amidst the chaos, my teacher emerges in the middle of the crowd to be right by my side. He holds my hand and kisses my cheek and whispers something to my ear, like he is so happy to see me again.
    2. 13 Jul: My teacher hands me a book

      by , 07-13-2022 at 09:33 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      In a crowd gathered for some teachings. I see my teacher at a distance. He gets up with a book on his hand and calls my name, says it is for me. I get up and raise my hand. We walk towards each other and I feel awkward because I wanna hug him and I just can't. He says something like congratulations for winning that prize and everyone wonders what was the contest and when. I bow down with my hands folded and I receive the book while trying desperately to touch his hands briefly. We look at each other cumplicitly. After that he goes back to his seat and proceeds talking and I try to get a place closer to him better. Strangely a lot of people just get up and leave so I have lots of free space now in the front.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    3. 22 Jul: Engaging with my teacher's attendants

      by , 07-22-2020 at 12:29 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Attending my teacher's teachings, sitting front row. There are 3 Asian ladies, including his current partner EC, attending to his needs, but there is the rumor that I might be trying to steal their position. I assure I am not. My teacher exchanges just a few quick looks with me, his eyes eager to see me, but nothing else. Later on, some lamas or monks take me for a walk and say they heard I am an humble person and want to know if that is true. I say I am not sure and think about it for a while. I reply that I am aware of who I am but yes, I am humble in the sense I am also very aware of my character flaws and I don't feel like I am better or above anyone else. They take me to a kind of room in an attic. When I am there I recognize it is the meditation room of JKCL. I kneel on the floor and touch some pretty tiles where he sat practicing, feeling emotional. I then see a journal on a table with his notes about travels and some old pics of exotic places he went. I am met by two of the ladies from before (but not EC) and they are now being kind to me. They invite me for a weekend at some really nice place, to make plans with them about something. I accept.
    4. 27 May: Police raid, my grandparents house, touring with the sangha

      by , 05-27-2019 at 11:32 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


      A police raid in a pub. I am with them, but I guarantee they'll find nothing besides a couple old people having some drinks. Once the cops are gone, I stay behind and the owners of the place take me to their underground bar / grocery store that provides food for illegal immigrants and is also a meeting point for marginals.

      Me, dad, cousin Cris, my aunt and late uncle, we are offered a weekend at my late grandparents house, which now has new owner, for a final goodbye. I enjoy every detail of it, look in detail to the old furniture still there, I go to the end of the hallway covered in spider webs, the back door plus the table and sofa and other small trinkets that my grandma kept there.
      Dad asks me for a favor, that I go outside and check something. Instead I go to the bathroom and have a psycho episode, grab a scissor and start cutting my hair. But I stop almost immediately and realizing a huge chunk of hair laying on the ground, I start crying with regret. I do not understand what led me to do it. I ask my cousin to see if it is too bad and she thinks not. Then at the kitchen my aunt tells me to eat something before I go. I start preparing breakfast but she tempts me with candies and a pudding. I go to the fridge to get whipped cream to put on top of it, but instead I put mayo and mustard on it. Then realize what I did and I can't explain it either. I start freaking out with my out of control mind.

      Followed by a reporter as I go with some Dharma brothers and sisters on some tour. One early morning we arrive at some location, get out of the car, everyone is exhausted and laying down on the ground. For some reason they start criticizing a girl who's wearing the same dress and shoes from another occasion. I don't understand what's their problem and tell them it's their minds getting tired and bored, because there is nothing wrong with the girls outfit, plus she looks gorgeous. The reporter is taking notes frantically with a smile.
    5. 18 Nov: Small enlightenment and rebirth

      by , 11-19-2018 at 11:12 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Looking to attend my guru's teachings. Not sure if I will see him, because I just dropped by and was not invited, so I decide to explore the place a little bit and see if I encounter him by chance. I risk going through an area I am not supposed to enter. I come across a few monks and lamas on a hallway and before they see me, I go down a flight of stairs that lead me to a sort of chamber where some people are seated waiting for an audience with my teacher. Nobody sees me as I hide under a table covered in a cloth. At the opposite side of this room there is an opening to outside and I spot my teacher arriving with a group of people. I am watching through a gap in the cloth and I notice that although he is talking with the people on his group, his eyes are looking in my direction and I know that he knows that I am hiding there. I feel there is no need to keep hiding, so I come out and join the other people in sitting on the floor in front of a low wooden stage. My teacher comes to talk to people but he chooses to sit on directly on the floor of the stage, right in front of me. Since his eyes locked with mine, he hasn't let go and I feel as if he is inside me. I feel dizzier as he comes closer, so close I stop feeling there's a separation between us. I become sort of lucid, not exactly, it is more like a small enlightenment. I feel so light that a breeze pushes me through the ground and slowly it elevates me in the air, seated in half-lotus position. I just go with the wind, I cross walls and tree trunks and rise up in the air. I rise and rise until I am in outer space, surrounded by darkness with the dim lights of the stars shining far away. Then I go across the fabric of the universe itself, until all shapes and forms start to disappear one by one. All of my memories fade like 2D pictures dissolving in a black background. I let go all of them. But then I panic. I don't want to lose my teacher's memory. I hold on to his memory. And as I do it, a faint vision of a table and a chair become stronger in front of me and I grab the chair and sit, to stabilize this reference. I grab the table and try to recall familiar things. Then from the table, embedded in it, a dark male figure rises, kinda demonic, but I feel it is also the help I need to go back. He wants to know what I want. I state clearly that I have to go back to my teacher, no matter the time or place, just meeting him again.
      He says no way, that's gone, now I am stuck here forever in this limbo. But I insist on coming back to my teacher. I recall the time I last saw him, but any other time and space will do. He gets mad and disappears. Around me a scenario of an office starts to take shape. I get up and walk around until I find a couple ladies at a booth, like a ticket booth at a train station and they ask me my destination. They ask date and exact hour. I don't know. I feel a bit confused. They yell there is no time for hesitations. Only a few seconds for the time to be set. I could see in a screen random numbers starting to form a date and I shout my actual birth date and as I am saying the hours, I am already feeling a pull and I am thrown back on planet earth. As I approach I see the clouds, rocks, majestic ocean waves, buildings and people and I feel an intense happiness that I will be meeting my teacher again.

      Updated 11-19-2018 at 11:16 PM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , memorable
    6. 16-08-17 “Playful Sexuality as a path to transformation”

      by , 08-18-2017 at 12:40 PM
      During the day yesterday I spoke with a girlfriend of mine about the consideration that have played on my mind in certain periods of my life of making sexual healing of women – a sort of glorified prostitution – a path in life. While the idea has remained relatively absurd to my conscious mind, the grain of seriousness has never really left my thinking.

      Furthermore, I found during my self-love ritual tantric practice during the evening that my fantasies were no longer tied to Cecilie, but fluttered wide and far, though only with women. I recall that I was surprised at this, both in respect of finding a horniness for other women, but also in the release of attachment towards Cecilie as “the” sexual object of my consideration – as if I was freed from the shackles of having to commit monogamously to her to engage romantically and intimately, while also obtaining sexual favour.

      My intentions were simply to remember my dreams, but I found it hard to fall asleep – which also led to a lengthy sexual practice prior to sleep.


      Dream:

      I am sitting on a train station. It is a small one, as you find in the country side. The weather is bright, though not scolding and there are other people on the station.

      I am sat on a bench wearing a long trench coat. Underneath I am wearing clothes covering my upper body and nothing over my legs and genitals.

      I am in a playful mood and as I watch out over the station across a hedge, I catch the eyes of a woman who is looking at me, smiling playfully. She knows “what is up” - which is really referring to my playful exploration of revealing my genitals, but which carries a stronger more direct meaning of explicit sexuality.

      I look towards her repeatedly and she keeps returning the kinky mischievous smile.

      Eventually the train rolls into the station, and after a brief evaluation if it is driving slow enough to actually stop, it does. The door opens and the woman and I get onboard. There is a slight distance so I rush slightly to make it.

      Once onboard the woman asks me if I am a “blotter”, and I think I acknowledge, though it doesn’t take up much attention or time.

      The woman now has turned into a composite persona consisting of Hanne – a Buddhist Lesbian – and Birgit – The owner of a toy shop I know very well from childhood.

      We talk about her reasons for being on the train. She is headed out to receive attunement as part of her Buddhist ventures. On her lap she is carrying a printed text. On the cover is printed something along the wordings of “The fourth initiation, by Master so-and-so”.

      I recall being surprised at this, as I thought there was only 3 levels.

      I get up and button up the trench coat to make sure my dick doesn’t fall out and show by accident.

      The main thing that grabbed my attention this morning was the number 4, which has been showing up in a couple of dreams recently. My initial interpretations and associations towards this was the 4 elements, the heart chackra and the wholeness of the quaternity in mandala symbolism.

      I reflected on the homosexual nature – representing potentially suppressed desires or avenues of exploration, which I have carried out over the past couple of years with men, though not really fully – of one aspect of the composite persona – who in total is a woman, representing the anima or the collective unconscious – as well as the Toy Shop Owner – symbolising potentially a suppressed playful and animalistic aspect of my sexuality (I have recently spent many an hour talking about it in terms fetched from Tantra, such as divine union or simply as spiritual practice, which could represent a form of spiritual bypassing but also my desire to ejaculate in women – Cecilie in particular) though it could also point towards continuing the practice of using toys in developing my sexual skills.

      My initial interpretation pointed towards a unification of my sexual nature with my Buddhist aspirations, where considerable conflict has recently taken place between sexual desires, as well as desires for family, intimate and romantic relations with the concept of renunciation of samsara to attain liberation.

      What stroke me here was the sexual theme combined with the sacred scriptures combined with the symbolism of wholeness, pointing towards an active (playful and explorational) kind of integration between my sexual nature and desires with the quest for happiness and liberation. There is a particular focus on “going public” with this, represented in the “blotter” symbolism, which is greeted cheerfully by the anima, as a fruitful endeavour leading to a more enlightened place – represented by the scriptures and teachings.

      Furthermore I reflected on the need to cultivate a more loving relationship – the 4th chakra, representing unconditional love - , not only to my own sexuality, but also the way in which I practice it with other people, women in particular – which now that I write it, is also represented in the recent dream of the “Bridge Elf” wearing orange and green, taking up 4 hours of journeying.

      Looking through some of Jung’s work with sacred numbers in dreams and the Angel Number 4, some following additional interpretations occurred.

      Jung also posits the number four as pointing towards “fourth function” - which is typically the repressed or taboo function – of thinking, sensing, feeling and intuiting. I am primarily oriented towards a thinking and intuitive disposition – making a mixture of feeling/sensing the taboo function. Feeling and sensing in this respect I see pointing both towards an acceptance of the more primal (non-spiritual and reproductive) aspects of my sexuality (represented by sensing, the physical aspects) and my desire, my right to feel, my wanting to take in a sexual context.

      The Angel number 4 mentioned something around creating a solid infrastructure, focus in on an area of life where I want to hone my skills or reap rewards, or building a foundation of sorts. This has very much been a process as of late, aside from moving out and finding a new place to live (creating a solid foundation) I have also been focusing on trying to verbalise my competencies (dream analysis, shamanic practices and energy/massage work with my hands).

      The immediate association here for me has to do with diving deeper into these three areas of my life. The vibe of the new place is phenomenal and now it is time – as in accordance with my priorities for the year – to focus on the stuff that can ensure a stable financial living. I have booted up the energy practices just yesterday – that also have a resemblance to the energy work of the tantric sexual practices. I spent many hours considering who I could approach to practice this work and also spoke with a friend about it.

      In general I find myself elated with this dream, it is to me an encouragement in working in the direction I have been doing for some time. It is also a reminder for me to stop taking the shamanic work too serious and focus on what I really yearn to explore – sexuality – which makes me happy. It is not to neglect the hard work in store for both arranging practice with energy work, nor formulating the principles of therapy I am employing in my work with the sacred plants. I am curious to see how this theme progress – sexual exploration, continued work with stabilising the roots as a path towards wholeness and spiritual development.
    7. Day 5: "I have had it with these mother f****** snakes, on this mother f****** train!"

      by , 02-04-2011 at 02:56 AM (A Penrose Mind)
      "everybody strap in, were about to open some fucking windows."
      To quote the great Samuel L. Jackson.

      I almost lost my dream recall today but it slowly came flowing back to me. This dream is a little odd (like all dreams) and unfortunately I almost became lucid but it didn't work out to well. There are probably a lot of memories that fell through the cracks but I have pretty much the most of it.

      Fragment 1:
      My dream starts off with me reliving a false memory. I'm in a hotel (this hotel is a dream space I've been in before) and there is a tower of Smirnoff bottles on a table inside of a dining area. Smirnoff is my favorite drink, so I'm tempted to take a bottle. I take one while no one is looking. I decide to go to the corner of the room to drink it. After a while I drift into the main part of the room to see what happens. No one seems to care, so I finish the rest of the drink in clear view.

      Fragment 2:
      I'm in my apartment (dream sign). A broadcast is playing in my living room. The broadcast has something to do with minds and mind control, but I don't know how exactly. I sense that the broadcast in the living room is incomplete, and that I'd find a more detailed broadcast in my room. I go in my room and turn on the tv. The Asian guy from the dharma initiative from LOST is on it, except he looks much younger, like 18 or so. He is also talking about mind control, but also about dreams. The gist of what he said, had something to do with invading people's dreams and controlling their minds. What he's talking about is something of a cross between the dharma initiative from lost and Inception. In the video he's on a beach, and another man accompanies him by his side, who from time to time he'll mock for being insignificant in comparison to him. Soon after the broadcast ends.

      Fragment 3:
      I'm still in my apartment in this dream, but the plot is way different. There's a "bad guy" whose coming to my apartment to hurt me or something, and I'm trying to prepare myself for the inevitable. My dad and grandma are very protective of me. Dream topography's very weird here. It's as if my apartment (although it is on the fourth floor in waking life) is underground, and my balcony is some sort of entrance to a secret passage way, which leads to some sort of medieval dungeon. For some reason we all know he's going to come through that way. The passage/dungeon is lit by some sort of electrical torch system (for some reason the torches remind me of minecraft). My dad is about to turn off the torches so the "bad guy" won't be able to see his way. But I plead him no because apparently I know this "bad guy" and he's my friend, and he's really only mad at me or something. The "bad guy" draws closer. I go into my room and prepare to barricade my door, but when I prepare to push my couch against the door, I notice that my room's a wreck, and that there are turned over drawers and crayons everywhere.

      "I'm done." I think to myself.

      Fragment 4:
      Miranda Cosgrove (google it) and I think Jennette McCurdy (also google) are auditioning for a Sorority. There in what appears to be theater. (for some reason Miranda and Jennette are in the seating area and the sorority girls are sitting at a table on the stage.) The sisters interviewing them ask them if there "fun", or "crazy", or "adventuress" or something like that. Miranda replies "I once kissed a six year old." (okay?) Jennette replies "Have you ever heard of murder? Yeah." (I think she's implying that she killed someone?). The sisters aren't buying it. The two need to do a test. Steal a saxophone from this guy while he's sleeping. Easy enough.

      Suddenly I go into a first person view (I'm not sure if I'm in my body or Miranda's, but I'm pretty sure I'm in mine). I'm with someone else (It's dark so I don't know if it's Jennette or not, but for some reason I don't think it is). We both infiltrate the room. There are two people inside, sleeping. We sneak up to him and prepare to take the saxophone. His roommate wakes up. His roommate is Phillip j. Fry from futurama. We both freeze. He doesn't notice us.

      "I don't like japanese people poking around in my mind." He says as he gets out of bed.

      (this is a reference to the previous dream fragment, apparently this person in the broadcast had tried invading Fry's dreams to control his mind)

      He leaves the room and we get back to business. I reach for the saxophone. He moves (Something in my head tells me at level 2 consciousness, whatever that means). I take the saxophone.

      Fragment 5:
      There's someone who I need to capture. A very bad man (I believed he killed a puppy or something. There's only one thing I know about him for sure: He's wanted for $200 dead and $1000 alive. This next part takes place in the fallout 3 engine (technically it's fallout new vegas). I'm looking through a first person view (although I am not controlling the body). The song Montage from team america world police is playing in the background. This guy takes various weapons and shoots them at a target. These weapons include the M-16 and the All-American from fallout new vegas. When the "always fade out in a montage" part of the song starts playing, my vision slowly fades out. The last thing this man does is take up a weapon repair kit from the table he was firing on. He then takes off (I believe this man was me).

      Fragment 6:
      My vision fades back in. I'm on the subway, on my way to capture the bounty. I think to myself, "Aw yeah, 1000 bones." Then I started thinking about why some people call money "bones". Suddenly, a woman with a bag in her hands sits down fairly close to me. She seems to be in a panic, she's frantically shaking, as if she just stole the bag from someone, but I didn't see her take it from anyone.

      "Okay, I got the snakes." She says in a shaky voice.

      She reaches into the bag and brings out a red snake and throws it on the train floor. I start to mildly freak out, so I move as far away from her as possible and decide to get off at the next stop. Suddenly things seem a little odd to me. I reach up to my nose and prepare for a reality check,
      and I wake up. It seemed that I had control of my outside body instead of my dream one.

      "Damn, what time is it like 11:30?" I say to myself.

      I look at the clock.

      I wake up at around 4:35 a.m., 3rd of February 2011.

      C'mon, really? Again? Whatever. (I did have a glass of juice before I went to sleep so that may have been the reason).

      Well this was a rather long and fragmented dream. But hey, at least I was able to use a snakes on a plane reference (btw, there really is a movie called snakes on a train, it sucked).

      I wasn't as hellbent on having a lucid dream yesterday since it was a snow day and I just kind of relaxed, hopefully I have better luck next time, I still want to practice dream control

      Sweet dreams everyone