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    1. Guitars

      by , 06-11-2015 at 04:01 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #443 - DILD - 5:01AM


      This dream was from Monday morning...

      I'm enjoying keeping my entries short and to the point with less detail. It makes it easier for lazy slugs like me to read. Not much happened in this dream anyway. I've really got to get a high level LD soon.


      I find some acoustic guitars in a church. My mom tells me to take one since they aren't being used. I chose one and begin to play. It feels random, but sound amazing. Everyone claps for me.

      I recognize the dream sign and become lucid. I almost lose the dream but I manage to concentrate and reenter. My memory gets foggy and all I can recall is looking at some colorful gift bags thinking on goals. For some reason I think that I was to trace something in the air. I make some shape in the air with my finger and I see a silver trail of light follow and then vanish. Someone looks at me with a knowing look. I think I am doing the wrong task and I wake up.

      I later dream non lucid about being a traveling businessman with way too many sexual hookups. I keep telling the women that I love them, but I seem to just want to "hit it and quit it". There was some drama on an airplane with some woman.
      Categories
      lucid
    2. Drones

      by , 06-06-2015 at 05:50 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #442 - DILD - 1:51AM

      I went to bed super early but ended up with restless legs at midnight. I took 5mg Valium and returned to bed.

      I am looking out a second story window with my son. Two cigar shaped aircraft hover in the sky. One lands in the yard and the other smacks the window. I realize they are just funny looking drones. I inspect the glass but find no cracks even though I am sure I heard it break. I see two boys with remotes controls across the street and I try to use my phone to record them as evidence just in case they really did damage my house. I can't get my phone to work right and I see a girl trying to get her cat on part of the roof. Somehow all of this triggers lucidity and I run down the stairs and out the front door to interact with the kids. It's now night time and they all scatter as I fly around the yard. I see the girl run in my front door so I go back after her. My cat is always trying to get out in waking life and it was no different in the dream world. I set her outside and let her run thinking this will somehow benefit her in waking life. I can't find the girl in the darkness of my house and I wonder if she phased out a wall. I see my wife in the kitchen and the dream darkens. I try to maintain but lose out to a false awakening. I enter my dream in my DJ and skip forward to work where I tell B that I got lucid last night and it was awesome. I wake up.

      A lot more happened in the dream, but my recall was weak and I don't feel like adding details. I had a few other super vivid and interesting dreams until I had to get up for work.
      Tags: dild, drones, kids, sky, valium
      Categories
      lucid
    3. First Of Night DILD

      by , 06-02-2015 at 12:21 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #441 - DILD - 10:39PM

      I normally wouldn't count this, but a rare thing happened. I got a DILD literally within the first few minutes of sleep.

      I was at work talking to my buddy while he was doing some work on a machine. I'm not sure we were having any real conversation, I think it was just random thought words. I noticed I was feeling odd, like heavy bodied and sluggish. I realized this as a dream sign and said, "Dude, I think I am dreaming." When I said that I uncontrollably slumped over and the dream went dark. I tried to hold on, but I slowly woke up.
    4. [DILD] Bully fight

      by , 05-31-2015 at 08:37 AM (A journey through dreamlands)
      I was walking up the stairs in a skyscraper. It was dark, old place, looking like it was built in IX century. Suddenly I realised that this is a dream. There was a group of DCs going up. I shouted "I need to check something outside!" and ran down the stairs to reception.

      The reception was empty. There were old vending machines near benches, an empty flower pot and receptionist workplace. I opened the door outside. It was cold, starless and moonless night. There were people in hoodies standing all around the entrance, waiting until they can enter the building.

      I jogged through some alleys and empty streets, until I found myself on a square in front of a medical center. I wanted to go inside, but seeing that the doors were closed I had to find another way in. I ran towards the wall, but I couldn't phase through it.

      I made a nose RC. It was strange, but it worked, so I was sure this is my dream. I tried to pull my hand through the wall, but it couldn't phase through. I just touched the cold, concrete wall. Suddenly someone from the crowd, that wanted to enter the center too, shouted: "Hey! You!"

      I turned around and saw a bully from my old school. I knew what were his intentions, and couldn't stop myself from charging at him. I tried to strike him with my fists two times, but he dodged and counter-attacked successfully. He started to laugh, as if I just followed his plan.

      I was preparing for another attack, but suddenly another DC ran towards us and shouted "Stop!" But she was too late.
      As I tried to strike again, I've lost lucidity and woke up.
    5. Birthday Present

      by , 05-03-2015 at 04:59 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #434 - DILD - 6:24AM

      the orgasm of lucid sex-749d2eacbb61274b77139826b7a50fdf.jpg

      I open a package from the mail and find this beautiful .357 magnum with a case of shells. I awkwardly load a few directly into the back of the gun and realize one shell is actually a large nail. I throw it away and discover it has a magazine clip. I ponder the possibility of actually getting a super awesome pistol in the mail. I'm amusing it's a birthday present, but who from? Maybe, it was sent to the wrong address. I check the package and it has my name and address correctly printed. Do they even send guns in the mail? Oh well, I'm just glad I got it. Hmmm. Things like this never happen. I should nose plug out of good practice. I blow through and don't want to believe. I do it several more times and become really disappointed that I don't get the gun after all, but decide to go ahead and enjoy both lucidity and my handgun.

      I look around and it seems to be some sort of apartment merged with past houses I've lived in. I don't thing about this too much as I point my gun looking for something to shoot. I see A from work and tell her to "Freeze". I pull the trigger, but only get a *click*. Damn, it's not working. Ok maybe I really don't want to shoot a co-worker DC. I point the gun around the apartment trying to shoot but only getting dry clicks.

      Sadly, the dream starts to darken, and I have to recreate a scenario. Shooting zombies is probably ideal. With that thought, a couple lurch at me out of the void. The sound of the gun fire is disappointing, but I blast an unrealistically large hole the size of a frying pan clean through each torso. I, and both zombies, pause to stare at the damage with mild surprise.
    6. March 28th through April 26th 2015 #301-318

      by , 04-26-2015 at 09:28 PM
      3/28 - WILD-style entry but memory gap before entry. Nudge vibrations. Sound I decide will be shower and dream girl inside. Roll out of bed and despite poor visuals I interact with dream girl sexually. First G use, 4mg + 250mg C (commit to use it no more than once a week). #301

      3/29 - DILD notice I am shirtless at a party in a library and realize I am dreaming. Float around vaulted ceilings above crowd. #302

      3/31 vivid apple juice dreams! DILD in which I use my time stopping stop watch and have a sexual interaction.#303

      4/1 FA caught DILD. Suspect sound of alarm being turned off is not waking life. Hall too dark - should mean this is a dream. See a sign on bottom half of home office door with moving visuals and know for sure I am dreaming. Phase outside and end up back inside later and stabilize by licking and touching wall. I decide I will find Girl Friday in the house and do under some blankets in a bedroom. Interact sexually! 304

      4/2 Day practices: This really could be a dream!
      I reach for a cat that fades away…aha DILD. Flying among interesting clouds as far as I can see. 305

      DILD Hose being pulled…by who? See no one and head to front door…it's ajar…break in? I bet I'm dreaming. Float RC, yes! Ends trying to stabilize rubbing the ground. 306

      DEILD Although I feel myself back in bed, I get the idea to imagine that I can still feel the ground I was rubbing and I can. Eye clench vibrations. Lots more ground rubbing. Eventually get classroom scene with cute blonde nearby and sexual interaction. 307

      4/5 DILD guard messing with me and I use dream actions to attack him in a van. Lower level lucid. 308

      DILD I go into my familiar hall bathroom but the toilet is gone..aha! Sexual interaction with Girl Friday and her mother. 2nd ever G experiment. Same 4mg/250mg G+C dosage. 309

      4/9 DILD guy pops out and I think whoop him like in a dream…I am dreaming! I attack him with multiple combinations and the move on to dream goal peg 1. 310

      4/10 DILD narrow stairs and black lady coming down them. Start to move aside and then realize I can just float over her…ah yes I am dreaming. Float up to next level and low head space and mostly crawl through interesting halls and rooms. Some interesting toys remind me of one of my favorite lucid dreams. Attempt dream goal peg 1. 311

      4/12 After some trouble getting to sleep and memory gap I have a WILD style entry. Dream started in bedroom and continued in house and bedroom with some involved stabilization on street. Completed dream goal peg 1 (subconscious question..should I..? Answer: "If you want to." Dream felt like 10 minutes. 3rd G experiment same dose 4mg+250mg. 312

      4/18 vibrations and WILD style. Sexy woman in short skirt. 313

      4/19 WILD style entry and maybe held onto consciousness throughout - remember thinking it is taking a while to get to sleep. Vibrations, ethereal experience, no visuals but feel I'm in my dream body. I remember my previous embrace of Girl Friday in a non-lucid, the warm hug and I start to feel her again. I rub my hands up and down her back to bring us both firmly into the same space. We have a very sensual, sexual interaction. Eventually vibrations and a fade back to bed. 314

      After some minutes of patience, which is unusual for my DEILDs, normally feeling that if it doesn't happen in a matter of seconds that it won't...so perhaps more WILD than DEILD. Involved some eye clenches to nudge the vibrations…guessing some waking eyes and some dreaming eyes doing the clenches. The rest here: http://www.dreamviews.com/tasks-mont...ml#post2156310 315

      Similar set of playing with vibrations and then backing off trying to let the vibrations ride on their own. So many voices. After a while I find myself at a busy conference. Rest at the same link above, TOTM. This was my 4th experiment with G + C and the first at a dosage of 8mg and 500mg. 316

      4/24 DILD running down this beautiful wide set of stairs I am easily able to jump down to the next flight and 2 flights on the next jump fully realizing that I am dreaming. Joyfully float down to a huge open lobby area. Later FA where I am telling someone about the dream. 317

      4/26 I seem to go in and out of lucidity for a good length of dreams with many sexual interactions and experiences. 2nd time with upped dose G + C 8mg and 500mg. 318
    7. Another Lucid!

      by , 04-21-2015 at 11:11 AM (Exploring My Mind)
      Had another lucid dream this morning, with this one being the most clear-cut example of a DILD I've had to date. This also marks the first time I've had two lucid dreams in one month, (as far as I remember), so I'm patting myself on the back.
      I had two fragments from other wakings in the middle of the night, and both of these fragments involved work and coworkers. I'm starting to think this is becoming a dream sign.
      This lucid came about when I woke up 20 minutes prior to my alarm for work. I went back to sleep, and...
      I was in my high school science class, and there were plenty of familiar faces around me. However, my friend Garrett wasn't there, so I decided to go look for him outside the class. I exited into the hallway, and went around the corner to a spot I knew he always was at, but upon finding this corner, he was no where to be seen.
      It was at this point that I got suspicious, and decided to do a reality check, with me questioning if I was dreaming. I did the nose pinch a few times, and every time I did, I could breathe, but I didn't notice that was weird until the third time it happened. Once I realized, I was lucid. "This is a dream," I thought to myself. Immediately once I went lucid, my view shifted, and everything suddenly became much more vivid and detailed, but also more shaky. I looked at my hands and studied them, hoping to stabilize the dream. My thoughts briefly wandered to me in my bed, and I almost woke up. But, instead, I re-focused on my hands and just as the dream was fading, I teleported a few feet in front of me and everything was back to its vivid self.
      I was very excited, and wondered what I should do. I decided to go find some of my other friends, who were probably in gym class right about now. I thought about being at gym class, and POOF, I was there, only now, I was floating. I floated around, enjoying the feeling of hovering, and watched my classmate's reactions. Once I exited the gym, I briefly considered what I should do next, but...

      Then I woke up. The lucid itself felt about 5 minutes long, which is the longest I think I've had, or close to it. And teleporting is a new for me as well, which was surprisingly easy for me to do, although if it did make the dream less stable, I certainly didn't notice it.
    8. False Impressions (brief DILD + FA)

      by , 04-18-2015 at 07:54 PM
      Ritual: I don't know if it was the jackfruit seeds or a bad scallop, but something I ate last night was brutal to my stomach. It got so unpleasant I that for a few hours I couldn't do anything but pace in discomfort, hoping something would come out in any direction. Finally I threw up, which usually leaves me feeling 100% better, but this was only a minor improvement. I managed to read for a bit, drinking herbal tea and self-medicating with tinctures of myrrh and wormwood. Around midnight I threw up again and finally felt stable enough to sleep. Although my stomach still hurt for a few hours and I couldn't drink much water at first, by the time I woke up at 8am, I was feeling basically fine again. My dream recall was terrible, though: I knew I had dreamed but couldn't pin down a single detail. At 9am I decided to go back to bed for a bit, performed half-assed WILD technique but started dreaming non-lucidly. On waking up my recall was 1/10 at first, but once I managed to recover the location of the dream I was able to follow the thread and reconstruct much of the narrative, resulting in 4/10 recall overall.

      I was in my grandmother's house, a common setting for many of my dreams. The events going on were all very mundane... too dull to go into much detail. Briefly, I was looking for some powder that you could mix with milk to make a shake, similar to the Carnation Instant Breakfast packets my grandmother always used to have on hand, but couldn't find any.

      I went into the bathroom and finally realized that my location was a dream sign, so I started to look around and wonder if this was a dream. Everything seemed so concrete and convincing that I had my doubts, but then something bizarre happened: I suddenly felt like I was being grabbed from behind by someone putting their arm around my right shoulder, but there was no one in the room with me! I whirled around to make sure and was staring at empty air. A moment later I felt it again even more strongly: the pressure of the arm squeezing my shoulder and chest, and the pressure of a warm body very close behind me.

      Ohhh, I thought. I think I know what's going on. I really am dreaming, and my husband has come back to bed and put his arms around me. Upon that realization, I felt the dream fading, and sure enough, woke up in bed next to my husband.

      "Are you going to get up? It's 1:50 in the afternoon," he said. I pointed out that I had returned to bed to for extra rest because I hadn't been feeling well last night. I was telling him about the strange thing that had just happened, how I had felt his presence while I was dreaming. I went on to explain how I should have recognized that it was a dream earlier, because my cousins were all much younger than they should be, and my grandmother's house was in the possession of an aunt (long-since divorced) rather than the uncle who currently lives there. My husband apologized for disrupting my dream, but I said it was okay, it hadn't been that interesting.

      As we talked, I was looking out the screen door onto our patio. Where I should have seen the pool and cement deck, instead I was mildly surprised to observe a grassy hillside. I attributed this to some lingering after-effects of the dream state, instead of correctly realizing that I had never stopped dreaming all along. In retrospect this is more obvious, because the way I felt my husband put his arm around my right shoulder was impossible given that I sleep on the right side of the bed, so if I'm on my left side there is no room for someone to lay down behind me. I was also relieved when I woke up for real and discovered that it was only a little after 10:30am!
    9. Wine and Cheese + Navriela (DILD + DEILD + FA)

      by , 04-17-2015 at 08:29 PM
      Ritual: WTB 2:30am, woke 7:15. I was stressed over something and felt too awake to go back to sleep right away, so I got up and put some time into a project for work. Returned to bed at 8:45am, no techniques, though I wondered if the WBTB would make lucidity more likely (happily it did) and woke again at 10am. Recall: 6/10.

      DILD, "Wine and Cheese": I'm walking down a footpath outdoors, carrying a cat in the hem of my dress. That is, I've folded up my hem to make a kind of pocket with the cat in it. She is an orange tabby short-hair that doesn't resemble any cat I've known in WL. I think she'll probably want to look around, so I try to arrange the "pocket" in such a way that she can rest her paws on the edge of the hem that I am holding and peek her head out. This works for a while, but then I notice that my black inner dress feels too tight around my legs, hampering my movements, and I think I must have accidentally caught it up together with the hem of the outer dress (which is a sheer light brown fabric). In trying to rearrange it so I can walk unimpeded, the cat falls back down into the "pocket," but I figure this isn't so bad, since the outer dress is translucent, maybe she can still enjoy the view.

      However, the cat is getting restless, and I remember something I read the other day on the forums: that if you just keep walking or wandering in a particular direction, the dream will destabilize. Well, such a thing has never happened to me before, despite numerous opportunities, but now I've caught a touch of schema infection from reading about it. [I agree with FryingMan that as a community we should try to be more conscientious about making claims that might infect other people's schemas!] So of course now that I'm anxious about it I start to feel destabilization coming on—I need to do something, quick! I notice that I am walking past a little wine-and-cheese shop, so I decide to duck in for a snack.

      Almost immediately I start to wonder if this was a bad idea... sitting down for a whole meal seems like a very drab and tedious way to spend my precious dream time. I decide to keep it short and just taste a few things; there's no need to finish after all. So I order some white wine and a cheese plate. The lady running the shop insists that we also try a certain specialty of theirs, which turns out to be a kind of spread that you put over toast. I see that all of these menu options are also listed on a small chalkboard hung over the doorway to the kitchen, though she prepares everything from behind a counter that is in the dining room. She serves us two types of their specialty spread, together with wedges of three kinds of cheese. It looks like very high-quality cheese, and I'm surprised (and a bit dismayed) to see how big the pieces are.

      The only seating in the place, which is very small, is a long communal table. I sit down and don't find it odd that I have a dining companion who sits to my right, though I didn't notice her before and my impressions are so vague that all I can really specify (uncertainly) is her gender. The orange cat I was carrying before is on the floor at my feet, and I hope the proprietor won't mind if she sees me feeding the cat little pieces of cheese. I take a sip of wine and a bite of some cheese and I am pleasantly surprised. Normally in dreams my sense of taste is dull and muted, but the taste and texture of this cheese is identical to the real thing. It is a sharp, tangy cheese with a firm, slightly crumbly texture like certain Spanish or French cheeses made from ewe's milk. I feel more enthusiastic about being here now, since I can enjoy a delightful snack without worrying about any extra calories! But on my second bite of cheese, as I concentrate on enjoying it, my perceptions accidentally shift to my real mouth—which of course is completely empty and tastes like night saliva. The dream fades and I very nearly wake up.

      DEILD, "Navriela": Luckily I realize that I am not fully awake but just below the threshold, so I think I can probably DEILD. Initially I try to DEILD back into the dream I just left, but it has fragmented beyond retrieval. So I just focus on getting the dreamstate back. Visuals kick in first: I see what looks like the vantage of a movie camera tracking steadily from left to right over something that resembles a grim, minimalist palace interior, perhaps an empty throne room. Everything is smooth and metallic grey and vertical. Probably because I start to wonder what was supporting the camera for this shot, which is too smooth and gravity-defying for a human cameraman, I now hear a male voice off-screen saying, "It is difficult to make a movie like this." I listen and continue to hear voices conversing about the film, so with both sight and sound back in play, I know that dream is kicking in.

      The camera has moved right through a doorway into the upper landing of a stairwell, and now I see a slender woman dressed all in silver begin to descend the stairs. To stabilize my senses I study her outfit, and I'm impressed how clearly I can perceive its details. She is wearing a kind of short jacket over a lower garment that reaches to her mid-thigh. It is not shorts or a skirt, however, and as I study it closely I observe a series of folds that suggest the garment consists of a single piece of cloth that was tucked between and through her legs to form something resembling short pants. I recognize this style of clothing—it looks like jongkraben, a kind of lower garment worn by both men and women in nineteenth-century Siam—but I'm surprised to see it in such an unusual context as this medieval/futuristic palace, worn by a pale, lithe, elf-like woman with white-blonde hair. I think I see some tassles dangling from the front, so I circle my perspective (still disembodied) around the woman to confirm what her outfit looks like from the front, and then continue to follow her down two flights of stairs.

      At the bottom of the stairs she encounters an elderly but vigorous old man with a long white beard who resembles Gandalf. He starts talking to her and at one point asks, "What is your name?" I'm pleased that he has asked the question I was wondering. There is something so youthful yet elvishly ancient about the woman that she strongly reminds me of Galadriel in LOTR, even resembling Cate Blanchett a little bit, and I half-expect her to say that "Galadriel" is her name, especially now that I'm thinking it. But the dream surprises me, and she answers with something that sounds equally elvish, but a name I don't think I've ever heard before: "Navriela."

      I start to think I should embody myself in this dream and work on some task. Had I been a little more on the ball I might have thought to accompany Navriela to a nearby forest to make another attempt my lucid dare, but I am too distracted by my growing attraction to her. I reflect that if I was one of the guys I would surely go "caveman" on her, and this gives me an idea for an experiment: what if I try to become a man? I sometimes identify as male characters in NLDs, but I hadn't attempted this before in an LD.

      I imagined myself as a guy and approached Navriela with romantic intentions. She was compliant as I took her into my arms, and we fell together on a bed that was conveniently placed in an adjoining room. I started trying to make love to her as a man, although it was all rather vague and hasty (I don't even think we took our clothes off) and I didn't notice any differences in my anatomy. Nevertheless, there was something very arousing about it and I quickly orgasmed. "It's always so much easier for men," I thought wryly—overlooking the fact that it is always easier in dreams anyway.

      FA: I woke up and immediately went to my computer to start writing my report, but I was having trouble accessing my word file. First I tried under "Open Recent," in Word since it's usually somewhere in that list, and when I didn't see it I tried typing the name of the file in the search box, but that didn't work either. I resorted to my back-up plan, dropping to desktop and clicking to the alias of my dream journal that I'd placed there, but even that failed for some reason. Since I actually do often have trouble accessing the file when I'm half-awake and hastening not to lose precious seconds of dream recall, it never occurred to me that my technical difficulties this time were evidence of an FA—even after discovering that my computer was in the middle of doing a full scan of some kind, and that my files were all locked until the scan was complete. Instead, I rationalized this by "remembering" that I had updated the OS just before I went to bed, and that concluded a mass file update was part of the process. Fortunately the progress bar was already at 56% and resolving quickly, so I waited it out. The OS shifted over to the new version, and now a new icon appeared on the top of all my window frames. It was a cartoon-like graphic of a noble male face haloed in a bright burst of sunlight, resembling a demigod or superhero. I figured this was the logo of the new OS, the name of which I knew at the time, but I wasn't paying much attention because finally I was able to open my dream journal file and start taking notes. Initially I started jotting down a lot of keywords and short phrases so I wouldn't lose any key events: "Navriela," and "four kittens" and "wine and cheese shop," and then started filling in the details.

      Eventually I woke up again and realized the last sequence had been an FA. Unfortunately my overall recall was now somewhat eroded the delay in waking up properly, especially of earlier sequences before I became aware that I was dreaming. I don't think there was ever a clear boundary or "aha" moment when I got lucid; it just seemed to naturally dawn upon me while I was walking down the path carrying the cat.

      NLD: I can partly recall an even earlier scene, non-lucid, where I was in a store, looking through horse halters. I was surprised to find horse supplies for sale at a mainstream store like this—it resembled a budget department store like a Target. I compared several halters but didn't like their quality or appearance. One that I rejected was covered with pale pink fake fur; another incorporated a fly mask but I wasn't sure if the eye holes would fit properly. I ended up rejecting them all and walking away. As I left, I noticed that the halters were on display in the children's section of the store, which annoyed me: why is horseback riding so often pigeonholed as an activity for young children? Certainly it helps to start young, but it takes years of practice to get any good at it. I think it was after walking out of the store that I was carrying the cat in my dress, where my dream report started, but the transition is unclear. I also now have no idea what the keywords "four kittens" was referring to, among all the notes I had recorded in my dreamed dream journal—so there is probably at least one lost scene.

      Updated 04-17-2015 at 08:50 PM by 34973

      Categories
      lucid , false awakening
    10. Kill Zombies

      by , 04-16-2015 at 12:51 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #431 - DILD - 3:00AM

      I really had a lot of wakefulness this night and spent an hour up with my legs until I was able to lay back down and have my second LD for the night.

      I am messing with a tall chain-link fence and gate. I was needing to get something from the pasture, but nothing is working right. Then the sky lights up from lightning and the wind picks up. I worry that the lightning will let the zombies see me. Then the lightning lights up the sky a purple color for several seconds. I hear some loud sound like machinery and thing the thunder is odd but will also get the zombies active. I get the fence together and just head for the old country house. Several cartoon zombies rush at me and I pick up a dry twig from the ground and stab them in the skull. My fear turn to delight and I enjoy doing battle with the undead. I may my way over to and RV and Rex jumps out to help fight. I now slowly become lucid and forget about the zombies. There are large green barrels rolling down and me I Hulk smash them out of my way as they come. I feel super powerful and want to Hulk smash zombies so I come out into the open. It is now day time and I am wading through deep snow, but it doesn't slow me down at all. I shout out taunts at the zombies in a strange voice, "Ooooh yeah. Come one fucker mother fucker. Give me something to break. Break your fucking face." I look around, but there are no more zombies. I deduce that dreams run on emotion, so since the fear is gone so are the zombies. I walk around and find another RV. I feel the dream fading and I try to focus, but I wake up.
      Categories
      lucid
    11. No Relief

      by , 04-16-2015 at 12:33 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #430 - DILD -12:16AM

      melatonin about 11PM

      I get the feeling that I am doing some traveling. Feels like Colorado. I am at a bar and I am to wait for this dark haired attractive woman so that I can escort her safely home. It's not like any type of a relationship other than something like me being her body guard. The woman turns to me, stops, then runs to the restroom. I start to follow then stop, not sure what to do. A waitress above me in a balcony says, "She's just going to the restroom first. Do you need to give her a message." I shake my head and wave her away. I realize now that I too need to pee really bad, but it strikes me odd because I just went. In fact, I had just come out of the restroom. I decide I better do it now rather than waiting so I go back into the men's room. It's a fairly small restroom and full like most bars, but I squeeze past the other men to where the urinals are. To my dismay, the urinal section is completely blank. I look under the threes stalls in the room and see the middle one looks empty. Another man is trying to beat me to it but I cut him off. He pauses and then goes into the stall on my right. I chuckle to myself knowing that I saw the feet of someone sitting on the toilet. I half expect to hear a commotion from there, but I have to pee so bad that I forget all about it during the act. After a long pee, I notice that I still feel the urge to go and it really hurts. This could only mean one thing. I might actually be dreaming right now. I do a quick nose plug and let out a quiet yet ecstatic gasp. I am happy to be in a lucid, but the urge to pee is really prevalent. I do my best to forget about it for now and focus on my goals. I need to get out of the stall quickly so I do a high back-flip over the door behind me. Things go into slow motion here and get a little unstable with hazy vision, but I focus on standing in the spot I thought I needed to be and headed out the restroom door.

      My vision returns now and I find myself entering a dark theater. I recall that I wanted to find my dream buddy and go for a run. I hover up and quickly scan the audience. To my left, I see bemistaken sitting with what I think to be her husband. I glide above them and reach down, taking her arm, and pulling her up to my side. I say, "Hi bemistaken." She just glances over at me and smiles. I know we need to go for a run, but time is short so I make the best of what I got. Together we run on top of the theater seats side by side toward the movie screen. I see a Hispanic boy and girl having conversation along with our shadows on the screen. Once we dive into the movie I reach out and touch the girls right cheek for stability. I feel the sensation of merging with the movie but when I turn around we are now on a stage like were are in some play. I nervously look at the audience, but I am blinded by the light. I feel the need to perform and bemistaken and I do our best to act things out. I hear something like a drumbeat and the children singing. Bemistaken says, "Staring, [name]" and then turns to me. I say, "Also staring, [name]' Then I feel like someone is beating under my feet so we lift part of the stage up the let the children out, but we see no one there. I wake up and rush to the toilet.

      Updated 04-16-2015 at 12:51 AM by 5967

      Categories
      lucid , task of the month
    12. Jogging / Portable Hole / Space (DILD)

      by , 04-14-2015 at 07:06 AM
      Ritual: WTB 2am, woke 9am with dream. Recall: 9/10. April had so far been a dryspell, but after my hot streak in early March I hadn't worried too much about it. I've noticed that my streaks and dryspells often seem to operate cyclically. I was distressed in early April when even my dream recall was inexplicably poor, but for the past week that had been improving. I had been continuing daytime RCs but to no discernible effect, and hadn't made any serious LD attempts all month.

      Last night was no exception, but since I was stressed and annoyed over work obligations, I let myself drink rather heavily with dinner. The consequence of this was that I slept poorly, having to cycle lots of water and wake up even more frequently than usual. This didn't bother me either, as I'd slept plenty in the last few days and didn't feel especially tired. I also enjoyed that I was dreaming heavily all night, with decent recall, though the dreams themselves were not interesting enough to sacrifice more sleep to record them. As morning approached, the line between sleeping and waking started to blur, to the point where I found myself in a long dream where I seemed to be lying half-awake in my bed, but talking and interacting with DCs who were in the room with me. Even before the dream ended it occurred to me that it had involved some semi-lucid intervals, so I realized I should get up and take some notes. I was in the process of doing so when I began to suspect I was still dreaming. My first instinct was to wake myself up so I could record the dream properly, but then I realized that I shouldn't squander this unexpected opportunity!


      DILD: In my living room. Don't think I'm awake yet. Could wake myself up, of course. Hang on—that would be a waste. Must be at least an hour before I have to get up. What were those tasks again?

      Jogging will be easy enough. I start running even before I leave the house. Suddenly my feet feel heavy and I notice I am wearing my old black leather combat boots. Grin—if there was any doubt I was dreaming it has cleared up now. [For the record, I was never in the military, I just had a distinctive fashion sense in my youth.] Go outside the door and jog away. Immediately nothing like my backyard, though it does still resemble the region I live in. Look around: in the distance see a woman pushing a stroller. "Woman pushing a stroller," I say to myself, to fix the details. I'm running across a parking lot, and where it ends I pass an unusual tree whose thick branches are armed with long thorns. "Thorn tree," I state for the record. Find myself at the edge of a steep hill and run straight down. Gravity isn't a problem, I stay perpendicular to the ground I am covering, which means I am pitched forward at a 45 degree angle and would fall flat onto my stomach if gravity were operative, but it isn't. I can feel my body being gently buoyed up into this position, and my speed doesn't become too great. Say, "Steep hill." As I'm running down the hill, looking around, I see something stranger. The earth is almost barren, with dry scrubby vegetation in patches, but looking to my left, I see razors sticking up out of the ground as if someone has planted them there, dozens of them, several inches apart, covering a large patch of ground. "Razors planted in the ground," I say, adding, "Disposable razors." And they're not just any brand, but I recognize them: distinctive yellow handles, white heads... "Bic razors," I think.

      At the bottom of the hill the ground levels out. I notice that the act of jogging doesn't feel at all realistic, which is interesting because I actually do jog in WL on a semi-regular basis, so it is not that my dreaming mind lacks sensations to draw upon. In what respect is it unrealistic? Well, there's no need for real effort, no sense of real weight. And now, unbidden, my arms are dangling and dragging through the dry dirt of the ground, I can feel it sifting through my fingers. My arms do not feel any longer than normal, and my legs do not feel any shorter than normal, yet my fingers are trailing the ground alongside me as I run. I notice a small mushroom lying on the dirt and pick it up, saying "Mushroom." It is a fleshy beige tube-shaped stem without a distinct cap, and I recognize the type from the grocery store—it is a small eryngii mushroom.

      Previously I had passed highways at the base of the hill, but now I'm approaching a smaller local street, buildings tightly packed together on the side of the street across from me. I decide to move on to another task. When the April TOTMs were posted I had worked out a plan whereby I would use the portable hole to portal myself into space and do the bonus task. I note an ideal location in the street—there's a manhole cover there or some other kind of circular mark that seems the ideal place to set down the hole. I notice three guys on this side of the road are getting into a parked car and feel instinctive momentary caution about running in front of it, but remind myself that this is a dream, there's no way to be harmed if the car hits me, and anyway I should use it as motivation to succeed quickly in the hole task. In retrospect, I note that the direction they're about to drive suggests either that this must be a one-way street, or else that the traffic flow is the opposite of what it normally is in the US.

      I had planned my strategy as I was jogging up, so once I got to the spot I had designated, I promptly used my right hand to reach into my "pocket" (to avoid overcomplicating things I deliberately didn't bother to take notice of what I was wearing or make sure it had a pocket, I just let assumption carry the day), pulled out my portable hole and dropped it. Nothing happened, but the problem was easily diagnosed: my hand had come up empty from my pocket, so I had only been pretending to drop the hole. Apparently, in dreams, there can somehow still be a distinction (however nuanced) between "pretending" to do something and "actually" doing it.

      "You actually have to pull something out," I murmured to myself reprovingly, and reached into my pocket again. This time my hand closed around a folded piece of very thin black cloth. I recall the texture of the cloth made it feel like a synthetic fiber, smooth and slightly shiny. I unfolded it and dropped it on the pavement. It was circular, perfectly sized to fit over the manhole-cover spot in the street, but I had thrown it so casually that it had fallen in a bunched up and wrinkled way, so I kneeled down to gently smooth it flat. Then I stood back up and stepped on the cloth, intending to sink through it and find myself in space. Of course the first time, it felt no different than stepping onto a layer of cloth that had been set onto the pavement, and I didn't go anywhere. This didn't surprise me, since I knew my expectations might have been conditioned by some of the early TOTM reports I had read in this month's thread. So I patiently tried again, knowing I could make this work. I hopped in place and focused on the sensation of sinking. The second try was still a dud. I hopped again, maintaining my focus and emphasizing the idea of falling through the hole. It worked, though instead of falling suddenly, as one might through a real hole, I was sinking slowly and gently downward. I used this extra time to build my image of where I wanted to end up: space.

      After I sank beneath the surface of the pavement, I was floating in a pitch black, unconstructed space. This was more promising than disorienting—after all, outer space has very similar qualities. However, I knew I should be seeing stars, so I firmed my resolve to be in space, specifically "outer space," not just unconstructed space. The dream complied, and filling my field of view to the front and right was a sudden glimpse of a great starry disk, fully round as if I was looking at it head on. "Galaxy," I murmured, impressed by how beautiful it was, how awe-inspiring, even if it had been generated entirely by my own mind. But the task required me to observe a sunrise over Earth, so I focused my intention using keywords: "Space. Sunrise."

      The beautiful galaxy disappeared, replaced with a vision much less inspiring. From photographs I have the impression that seeing the actual Earth from space is visually stunning, but despite the loveliness of my galaxy, my model of Earth was rather dull and unconvincing. What made it so underwhelming was that I didn't feel like the distances were right: even though I was still floating in "space," I felt like I was only a few feet away from the planet, which resembled a large globe about six feet in diameter. It was dark, because I was looking at the night side, and as I willed the "sunrise" to occur, the light creeping around the edge of the planet illuminated something unexpected: the whole planet seemed fenced in by structures built over and around it, and they were covered with corporate logos! Actually it seemed very appropriate metaphor for the current state of affairs. The structures definitely didn't look like the sorts of things that could exist in space, though, since they consisted of large interlocking beams that crowded and dwarfed the planet itself. As I examined this structure, the "space" in which I was floating stabilized into the interior of a large, dimly lit room, the earth and the structures around it becoming mere models. It resembled the lobby of a planetarium or space museum.

      "Space. Sunrise." I said again firmly, trying to restore the scene to the one I had intended. I temporarily succeeded in making the room fade away so that I was again floating in darkness in front of the Earth, but when I tried to re-do the sunrise, the growing light illuminated the walls of the same room that I had just banished, and now the light was almost aggressively bright. This, I figured, was actual light from WL—during my earlier wakings I had noticed that it was a very bright morning, and my curtains can only do so much to keep light out of the bedroom. I managed to ignore the light and hold onto the dream a little bit longer, but I was still wrestling to turn the room's interior back into outer space when I woke up.

      Updated 04-14-2015 at 07:50 AM by 34973

      Categories
      lucid , false awakening , task of the month
    13. No Way Out

      by , 04-10-2015 at 01:35 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #429 - DILD - 2:22AM

      I had another really bad night with restless legs and I was up and down a lot so I didn't do an actually WBTB, but I did manage to meditate with binaural beats for an unknown amount of time. I eventually got uncomfortable and rolled over to sleep with LD and goals in mind (though I didn't even think about goals afterward) and had this lucid dream.

      I thought I was the 11th Doctor and I was playing some sort of video game. Something about some friendly blobulous aliens. Something about putting my ID card into a reader and going up escalator then I use the card to enter an elevator. I somehow get to a low level of lucidity when I enter and I decide I just want to get outside. I push the number 8 in the elevator though I meant to push the button marked '1G'. I quickly push the intended button, but it's too late and I'll have to wait for it to cycle. The elevator goes up a second and the doors open to another set of doors marked '11'. I decide I wasn't meant to go there anyway, so I wait for the elevator to head back down. Suddenly, I feel a huge amount of G-force as I drop too quickly. I clench and hold on to the rail. I see a poster on one wall that looks like a silhouette of the Doctor and the TARDIS. It reads: "The Doctor Tower Experience" I think it's really ironic since I am the Doctor.

      The elevator stops and I am crumpled to the floor. I slowly get up and step out the open doors only to find myself on the floor again. I think how odd it is, but still recognize this is a dream. I see my phone in my left hand and notice the screen rotation button. I decide this is much like that and I focus on being up right and walking and suddenly I am driving a car.The dream blacks out and I find myself on the floor of the elevator again. This time I focus on the screen rotation idea a little more clearly and I watch as gravity shifts. There is a split second of blackness and I find myself in an apartment with yellow walls.


      This now triggers a much higher level of lucidity and I find my consistent teleportation exhilarating. I still would like to get outside. I don't remember my jogging exactly, but I feel like I need to get outside for some reason. (Why didn't I try to teleport again? DUH!) I see empty counter space and I turn around to see a the front door. I step out into a very small hallway. To the left are stairs leading down into darkness and I decide to avoid that. The hallway goes straight for a few steps then takes a right. I follow it but as I round the corner the hallway morphs and closes off. The walls change color from yellow to brown. I decide I was meant to face the dark so I go back and head down stairs. I am really worried that I'll get lost in the void, but as I descend the stair well lightens. I have some weird feeling in my eyes like I am straining to keep them open. I worry this means I am waking up and sure enough I do.

      Or so I thought. I make DJ notes and say something about how I was playing a game called Hero's Call beta. I pause wondering if that was right when I actually do wake up.
    14. [09-04-2015]

      by , 04-09-2015 at 03:36 PM (A journey through dreamlands)
      Non-lucid + DILD - ToTM attempt

      I was wandering with three sisters. From conversation with them, I received an information that they are princesses, an evil queen took the throne, and they are in a serious danger. I wanted to help them, but didn't knew how.

      We were moving away from the main road, close to the forest. When getting closer to a village, we spotted some mercenaries of the evil queen. I lied down on the ground. It was cold, I felt grass touching my skin. Two of the princesses hidden behind the trees, but one of them spotted a carriage, and ran to it.

      The carriage stopped in front of her. She thought that it was her mother inside, but then the evil queen went out of it. The other princesses ran to help her, and all of them were kidnapped by queen. I decided to try and help them. I grabbed the carriage in the last moment, and it started flying to the sky.

      When getting close to the clouds, I lost my strenght and fallen. When close to the ground, I suddenly teleported to another place. It was dark dungeon. I found a torch and lit it. It was empty, I felt alone... left behind. I entered a huge chamber. There was an old man in dark robe in the middle of the room. He had completely white eyes.

      He turned around and looked at me. Telepathically he sended my information about who he is. It was a powerful necromancer, surrounded by creatures summoned by his enemies. I grabbed a stick lying on the ground, and wen to the lower level of dungeon.

      I opened the door, and faced a melon monster. A huge melon with razor-sharp teeth, walking on two frog-like legs. I bashed it with stick, until it collapsed into a few melon slices. I found another such creature, and killed it too. The stick broke when I dealt the last blow.

      The I felt strange. Everything was blurred. The necromancer teleported me to the exit of the dungeon. It was a gratitude for my help. I opened a hatch, and found myself in the basement of my home. I went to the kitchen, and met my siblings.

      The eldest sister when looking at the broken stick told me:

      - Hey! This was my stick before!

      - Yeah... it was.

      I went outside, and found a huge swing in the middle of my backyard. I used it for a while, and then entered my home.

      Suddenly I realised that it's a dream. I took another stick lying for some reason in my home, and went outside. I tried to point to the ground with it, and got teleported to place I pointed. I tried it a few more times, but it didn't worked. I felt that I slowly lose lucidity, and I thought to myself "This is my dream. I am lucid dreaming."

      It was enough to make the dream more stable. I tried to teleport with a stick again, but this haven't worked. I though again "This is my dream. This would work now." And repeated my last activity, to no avail.

      Then I recalled the basic task for this month. I looked at my neighbors house. I decided to go jogging. I ran for the street. I wasn't running with unbelievable speed, but I was running quite quickly. Surrounding area changed from countryside wih forests at summer, into autumn tones.

      Everything get blurred on the sides, only the area in front of me stayed sharp. I decied to turn left, and ran through and old village. I made a few turns around old buildings, and ran back. The road in front of me was empty. I saw my house in the distance. I ran much more quicker.
      When getting closer to the gate of my house, I lost lucidity and woke up.
    15. Doctor Visit, Dream Figure Describes Dream Creation, Visit with my Daughter - Apr 2, 2015

      by , 04-04-2015 at 08:30 PM
      WBTB 3:00 Am, Read Dreamviews dream journals, Mantras (written and spoken), and then I got all my pillows organized in their perfect places, then to bed - about 1 hour later. I then laid in bed and repeated my mantras in my mind until I was feeling sleepy, then I started to meditate. I was doing body energy work where you bounce your energy in a clockwise direction around your bedroom, off the walls and through your body and out the other side. After one complete rotation, I would pick a different plane to repeat the exercise. One bounce takes about 1 to 2 seconds. A mental image of my room builds in my mind as I proceed. It’s like your scanning the room with a beam of body energy. After about 10 minutes I started to do tactile imagery where I was climbing a ladder, and then I move on to climbing a rope, and then picking up coins with my right hand and dropping them into my left. By this point my body is asleep and my mind is awake. Sometimes my hands or feet start to feel really sore (pulse with pain), so I move energy away from feet (repeating) to my torso, and then the pain fades and disappears. This is a common problem while in ‘the void’, or in deep meditation, and I accidently stumbled across this method of getting rid of the aches. It works awesome!

      While in ‘the void’, hypnagogic imagery and occasional voices happened. Then I got a 2 dimensional picture of a hospital room, and it quickly turned to 3D (lucid dream). I started to walk around the room, but it was black and white, and of poor clarity. A nurse walked past me, and I decided to close the curtain around the bed, so I could focus on improving clarity. A doctor then walked in through the opening in the curtain and stood beside me. Then my vision started to fade quickly, so I asked the doctor to hold onto my hands, and he did. Darn, I was now back in ‘the void’, but I was still holding onto the doctor’s hands. I could hear somebody laughing to the right of me, and then the doctor said something. Soon after, the doctor let go of my hands, and I woke. Position and pillow change.

      I tried to repeat the WILD technique described above, but I fell asleep, and then I had this interesting Dream Induced Lucid Dream (DILD). In this dream I was viewing it in 3rd person, from above, and it was an excellent Rambo movie scene! Rambo was driving a quad with really big wheels, and towing a fifth wheel style, semi-trailer (all camouflaged). On both sides of the semi-trailer were two army tanks being towed by heavy cables. These tanks were literally skidding across the ground on their tracks, and it really made no sense to me how a quad could possibly have this much pulling power. I realized I was dreaming - DILD (for several reasons)! Rambo was driving this assault vehicle combination through the thickest jungle ever, and trees were flying! He fished tailed onto a logging road, and under a bridge, and then one of the tanks drifted way off into the forest knocking foliage everywhere. He then drifted through a parking lot and smashed sideways into a restaurant. I then moved from 3rd person to 1st, and I followed Rambo as he ran into a restaurant in a blaze of glory with his dual machine guns!

      The two women behind the cash register ducked as bullets flew overhead, and the patrons looked at us as if we were aliens (kind of WTF look). I instantly told Rambo to stop shooting because he was going to hurt these people, then he unexpectedly turned into a regular looking guy with a huge smile on his face. I quickly looked around the restaurant, and nobody looked any worse for wear, so I headed outside. When I got outside, I noticed that we were inside a huge facility, and the Rambo Assault Vehicle was still there, smashed into the side of the restaurant. A very tall 7 foot man was standing beside Rambo’s vehicle admiring it. I figure he have been the dream creator of this awesome Rambo action scene I just watched, so I asked him, “Did you just create this amazing action dream with Rambo and this assault vehicle?” He laughs and replies, “Heck no, this action dream was created through the thoughts of hundreds of people!” I wasn’t expecting that answer. Interesting!

      After he said that I started to float up above the wreckage and restaurant to see if there was an exit out of this facility. The ceiling was really high, maybe 100 feet, and it was lined with offices and mezzanine walkways. There were people everywhere, and several of them were watching me as I flew around the perimeter of the facility. A child then shouted my name and said, “Show us some lucid dreaming tricks!” Okay, I’ve never had that request before, so I flew into the central area of the facility, about 40 feet off the floor, and I started to form a beach ball size of white light in my hands. I was planning on giving it to the kid, but then the dream fading, so I immediately took off flying right through the facility wall and into the blue skies.

      It was an amazing summer day, and I was flying over a massive city on the coast. There was one very tall building in the city’s central area, so I flew up to it for a closer look. The building was covered in black reflective glass, and reduced in cross section at several intervals in elevations. I could see many people inside the building, through the tinted windows, and I thought maybe this would be a good place to meet up with my daughter. When I got to the roof, the wind was way too strong for a safe landing, so I abandoned mission, and I decided to look for a better place. I quickly flew over to the coastline and saw a beautiful park below with a large concrete monument (war hero remembrance site). I landed on this large concrete deck with concrete railings, a monumental statue, and steps going down in two different directions. There was grass all around, a sidewalk, several covered bench areas, lots of people, and the view of the ocean that was nothing short of amazing! I then started to call for my daughter to come, saying I found a beautiful place for use to meet at.

      As I was walking down one of the concrete stairs, my oldest sister appeared out of thin air, right in front of me. She said, “I figured I’d find you here!” I walked up to her and held both her hands and said, “Yes, this place is amazing!” My 2nd oldest sister then appeared to her left and said, “Hi!”, and then my son appeared to my right on another set of steps, “Hi dad!”. Then my daughter appeared right in front of me. She was crying, I ran up to her and held her in my arms, asking her what’s wrong? She said, “I can’t do this. I don’t want you talking to mom about this anymore.” I then remembered the nasty argument mom and I had the other day about my lucid dreaming visits with my daughter, and I said, “Are talking about the argument mom and I had the other day?” She said, “Yes.” I woke after that, and I realized just how upset my wife gets when I talk about all the wonderful visits my daughter while lucid or in an OBE; whereas my wife barely remembers any of her dreams, and dreams with her daughter has only happened a couple of times since her passing. I’ve decided in the future to only discuss these dreams with my wife if she specifically asks, or if she is directly involved in the dream in some way.
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