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    1. Fishing

      by , 09-05-2014 at 01:05 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #361 - DILD - 4:21AM

      Fell asleep listening in SINE Isochronic Entrainer, Marijuana preset. I am not sure how much time passed, but I wake up with no recall and decide to turn the sound off. I go back to sleep with a mantra. Dream for get rest of the morning where extremely vivid.


      I am fishing some pond with Tonya and her girlfriend. They are sitting on the solid rock bank, complaining about no catching any fish. I see small perch in the clear water and say something about being able to catch only perch. I throw an empty hook in the water and on of the larger perch latch on. I pull it out and comment on how I can only catch perch. There is laughter. I notice the hook went a little far and has almost caught the fishes eye. I have a hard time taking the hook out without doing too much damage to the fish. I briefly consider making bait from the perch, but decide against it. When I finally get the fish off the hook I throw it back in.

      There is some dream glitch and now the perch is swimming up out of the water about eye level. I smack the fish with my rod but there is little effect. Then, I notice this is most likely a dream and do a quick nose plug. There is some stuffiness but I do blow through. I know I have goals but can't recall. As I think, I move on impulse by jumping on Tonya's back and acting like I am riding a bull. Then I recall thinking about the black stereotype of liking catfish. I decide that must be my goal. I shout at Tonya's girlfriend, "Hey black girl (I can't remember her name). Get me some fish." I think this idea was all wrong as I wake up.


      I'm sorry that sounds horribly racist but It really wasn't.

      I have some dream about having kittens and rats in the house. The older cats started eating the kittens but I find more and more kittens.
      Categories
      lucid
    2. Trails of Breadcrumbs (brief WILD + 2 DILDS)

      by , 09-02-2014 at 12:37 AM
      After several promising WILD attempts failed for no good reason over the last couple weeks, I was afraid I was headed into another dry spell. Then last night, when I wasn't planning to lucid dream at all—having only seven hours to sleep before getting up early for a busy day—I had spontaneous lucids all night during the few short periods I managed to sleep at all, and had to sacrifice even more sleep writing up my notes promptly (as a matter of principle). I should have known better to drink that big mug of coffee before bed on a night when I was likely to be prone to anxiety anyway, but now I can report that caffeine + anxiety make a great lucid trigger!

      I went to bed at 12:30am. Knew I needed to wake at 7:30 and intended to go to bed earlier, but I never find it easy to go to bed before midnight unless I'm sick or already exhausted. Woke at 2:30am and realized that the coffee was a mistake: I was now wide awake. To counter the insomnia I started doing counting and deep breathing, basically just like my WILD practice but without the intention to LD. I counted to fifty, one number for each full breath cycle, then left off counting and did the breathing only. I'm not sure how much I actually slept—it felt like I spent a long time in a transitional state—but it was 3:45am when I woke up fully again, this time after slipping spontaneously into the very briefest of WILDs.


      Brief WILD: The transition was really interesting, because there must have been a point when I was already asleep, but I still thought I was awake. I know I was confused about this because I was under the impression that while lying in bed I was selecting and leafing through fantasy-game themed magazines from a low shelf that was just to my right, apparently in the bed with me. Of course in waking life there is no such shelf set up in my bed nor any magazines of this kind within arm's reach, distinct evidence that I had dreamed the whole thing. But as I was flipping through through the magazines, I was also well aware that I was in the process of trying to fall asleep, and I even noticed a curious phenomenon: when I closed my eyes, I could still make out blurry forms and colored shapes corresponding to the content printed on the pages I was reading. This made me think that reading through closed eyelids might be a great technique for encouraging REM onset, because it was stimulating pictures to form in my mind. A great technique indeed if you can do it while you're already dreaming! But I didn't realize that at the time.

      Eventually I felt the onset of that bodily dislocation that suggested I was close to a WILD transition, and encouraged it. Sometimes I levitate, sometimes I rock or rotate, but this time sinking felt more natural, so I let the sinking sensation grow while thinking, "Down, down," until I felt that the transition was complete. Then I easily "got up" out of bed. However, I still didn't have much control of the dream body, so I discovered that I couldn't stand or walk yet. Instead I collapsed face down on the floor and had to crawl. This didn't alarm me, because I often lack full motor coordination right after the transition. The environment was recognizable as my bedroom but still very murky. My mind felt incredibly active and clear, by contrast—probably because I was barely asleep.

      I remember thinking distinctly, "Oh good, I haven't lost it"—meaning the ability to WILD, given that my last few attempts have gone nowhere. I crawled toward the bedroom door and remembered my task, "Fairy tales." Then I paused, realizing that I would need to improve my integration before trying to leave the room, as my WILDs tend to destabilize if I try to rush things. I thought, "Time for some clean-up"—but alas, there was no time, as I woke promptly at this.

      Such a disruption was not unusual, as my early WILDs are normally strung together by multiple DEILD chains (for some reason this seems to be almost the only time I can successfully and instinctively DEILD, so I've never even counted those DEILDS as distinct dreams; instead they end up seeming more like segments of the same chained WILD). Unfortunately, I could tell at once that this time I had woken up too fully to DEILD, and even though I held very still and sought a way back into the dream, I could feel that I had surfaced past the point of re-entry, so I got up to write this. A bit disappointing, but not overly so as I have to get up insanely early tomorrow for a full day of activity, so no time to write more without cutting into sleep.

      5:50am: up and writing again after two more DILDs. Both times I thought at first that I was awake in the house, but instinctively realized that I was dreaming.

      DILD#1: As soon as I realized I was dreaming, I remembered my task, still determined to carry out my "Hansel and Gretel" experiment. I was already deep enough in dream to feel well-coordinated, so after getting lucid I went immediately to the kitchen and grabbed some bread from the counter. It was the end of a baguette. Last time I tried this the dream destabilized shortly after I left the house and started dropping crumbs, so this time I decided to begin more cautiously by starting the trail of bread crumbs while I was still inside the house. I walked from the kitchen to the living room, tearing off pieces of bread and dropping them on the floor. Meanwhile I was thinking to myself with amusement, "Oh man, I'd better really be dreaming. If we wake up tomorrow and it turns out I've left bread all over the floor, my husband is going to say this lucid dreaming thing has to stop!"

      But I was sure I was dreaming, despite the stability and lifelikeness of the environment, so I asked myself how I could tell. I thought it would be a good moment to test the differences in self-perception between dream and the waking state. No sooner did I turn my attention to my body than I felt it—yes—that subtle tingling in the limbs that I have always associated with dream. The sensation used to be extremely prominent, especially earlier in life when lucid dreams occurred only rarely and spontaneously, but now I hardly ever notice it unless I pay deliberate attention. Unfortunately, this re-orientation of focus on my physical senses meant that I began to notice something I was hearing as well: the sound of my husband's breathing in the bed next to me. This reminded me of my body asleep in the bed, which promptly woke me up.

      Upon waking, I could still hear the breathing just as I had in the dream, but with one peculiar difference: in the dream, the sound was distinctly coming from my right, but when I woke up I remembered, of course, he is sleeping to my left. Perhaps the discrepancy can be explained if I was sleeping on my left side with my left ear against the pillow so only my right ear could hear clearly? I forgot to take note of my position when I awoke.

      DILD#2: After going back to sleep, once again I was doing stuff around the house under the impression that I was awake when I noticed once again: am I dreaming? Yep, pretty sure I am. Okay, well, back to work then. I remembered that I had taken the bread from the counter in the last dream, briefly worried that I might not find any more, but casually "expected" to find another loaf and sure enough it was there. I started dropping crumbs while I was still inside the house again, then went out the door to the back patio. I was still anxious about destabilization (I have tried this task several times before and haven't gotten very far, and tonight's previous episodes demonstrated that waking up abruptly was indeed a hazard) I so thought, okay, I'll just walk around the pool in circles and continue dropping crumbs until the dream shows some receptivity.

      So I began circling the pool counterclockwise, dropping crumbs as I walked. When I reached the area just behind the pool I noticed the place where I had encountered "Boneface" in a previous dream and wondered if anyone would be waiting there, but no DCs were visible. However, the dream was starting to respond: already I was no longer circling the pool but on a path, walking through an environment that no longer resembled any place I know in waking life. The path led me through a dense suburban neighborhood, but I saw trees in the distance and figured a forest must be out there somewhere. I needed to reach the forest to proceed with the "Hansel and Gretel" plot.

      I continued dropping breadcrumbs as I walked along the path, but then I remembered—hang on, if I'm doing "Hansel and Gretel," then obviously I can be Gretel, but I'll need a Hansel! I tried to summon him, calling out "Hans! Hans!" and "Little brother!" The dream responded promptly but unexpectedly: a little dog showed up, with long wavy fur in brown and white patches, and started trotting along with me. It looked just like a toy spaniel, but smaller, about the size of a chihuahua. I shrugged and figured, "Okay, good enough." Maybe he would turn into a boy later on, or if not, whatever. (I've always been able to summon animals easily, but have less success with human DCs, so the results weren't that surprising.)

      To get more into the spirit of things, as we continued to walk along the path I started singing a song about our journey—how we had left our parents' house because there wasn't enough food, and hoped to find some in the forest. (I just realized a discrepancy in the story: if food is so scarce that they have to leave home lest the family starve, why are they wasting bread by dropping it on the ground? Or is that why mom wants to kick them out, the flagrant bread wasters!)

      The dream felt very stable but I knew I couldn't be in very deep because I was having trouble with the song: rhymes weren't coming easily, like they do in deeper dream, and my melody was very simple (The Hobbit was on TV last night, and my song ended up with a similar tune and rhythm to the "goblin town" song from the movie, though naturally with very different words). When I got to the end of a line and couldn't find a rhyme, or even a suitable word, I just sort of hummed over the blank spot and kept going. Improvise! So I sang a number of stanzas in this haphazard way, dropping the bread in smaller and smaller crumbs since I was getting near the end of the loaf, while little Hans the dog trotted beside me on his tiny legs.

      Finally we made it to the edge of town, and there it was ahead of us! The forest! Would we go in and find a gingerbread house, a threatening witch? I was looking forward to what we might discover. But I felt sorry for Hans and wondered if he might prefer to be carried. I picked him up and put him on my right shoulder (he was so small). No sooner had I perched him there then at once I clearly and distinctly heard a voice saying my name in my right ear—it was my RL name, and it woke me up. This happened immediately after I put the dog on my shoulder so I had the impression that he had been the one speaking, but the voice was clearly a woman's and, as far as I could make out, it sounded like my own voice.

      Anyway, that woke me up past DEILD recovery so I got up and wrote again. It's now after 6am. Nothing like a short night before a busy day in which I have absolutely no time to spare for dreaming to really bring on the LDs, eh?

      Updated 09-02-2014 at 12:56 AM by 34973

      Categories
      lucid , task of the year
    3. Attempt to Disbelieve

      by , 08-29-2014 at 05:40 PM
      Brief DILD event in last sleep period: I was at home, and stepped out of the library to find what I thought must be catsick all over the hallway. It was confusing, though, because it occurred in distinct splats all over a wide area, almost forming a lattice pattern, and there seemed to be way too much of it to come from the cat. Then I noticed that there was a hole in the ceiling, as though something had burst through. Was this something that had fallen through the roof from outside? Or something that had been lodged under the roof and had now fallen through the ceilling? And what the hell was it? It was beige and chunky, and sure did look like cat vomit. It was spread over such a wide area that I couldn't help but step in some as I passed through the hall, and I was even more disturbed to feel a tiny movement under my toes. Oh my god, was it full of maggots or something?

      I walked carefully across the kitchen floor, trying to step only on the heel of the dirty foot so I wouldn't spread the stuff around more, and then washed my foot in the kitchen sink. I needed to put on shoes to protect my feet, as well as clothes better suited to cleaning up this mess. I went into the living room where I thought I could find sandals and maybe some clothes I had left next to my worktable, and I stopped, stunned to discover that all the furniture in the room was missing. It was just a blank expanse of floor. How could this have happened? There was just no way... I realized that I had to be dreaming. Upon questioning the scenario my initial impression was that no, I wasn't dreaming, but I refused accept this and persisted firmly in my doubt: sorry Mind, you can't trick me this time, I'm obviously dreaming, get with the program. In the face of such resolve my mind finally acquiesced and acknowledged that I was dreaming by spitefully waking me up.
      Categories
      lucid
    4. Disgusting Ordinary Eyeball

      by , 08-13-2014 at 04:30 PM
      Ritual: Went to bed at 2am, much later than I had intended. Wanted to wake up between 4-4:30 if possible so I could make a sandwich for my husband to take on his flight. Didn't set alarm, only intention; if it didn't work, that was fine. Woke up promptly at four so got up and went to the kitchen. Then I realized if I didn't stay up to give him the sandwich he would never know it existed, so in the end I didn't go back to bed until after he left at 5. I repeated my tasks aloud a few times to make them easier to remember, using simple keywords: "eyeball, calcifer, fairy tale." Wanted to give SSILD another fair shake after recent lack of success—been falling asleep too easily. After this hour-long WBTB I arranged a ramp of pillows to elevate my upper body and settled back to do SSILD, supposing that the half-reclining would help inhibit sleep. It did—and I realized I had been semi-dozing rather than really sleeping when I got up again at 5:40 and decided to dismantle the pillow-ramp to get some proper sleep. I didn't notice REM during any of these sleep and half-sleep periods so I wasn't optimistic, but I did a couple SSILD cycles on my side before drifting off to sleep fairly quickly. It was 6:30am when I woke up for real (after FA) and began this account.

      FA: "....it ignored me, and I felt silly talking to a fire."

      Okay, guess now I have to start over. Wrote half of the account up in FA. Which is funny, because when I woke up I did sense that I could probably re-enter the dream state but decided not to because I wanted to write a solid report on what I'd done so far. And here I had felt so responsible and industrious! I wrote down quite a bit but only remember the last line word for word, so I reproduced it above. It's interesting that it is worded in the past tense. My dream reports often swap randomly between past and present tense but the present tense predominates.

      DILD: I was in my bedroom in the half-light of early morning, and I heard voices outside the room. This confused me, because no one else should be home right now. One of them sounded like my brother, but he shouldn't be here. And I could hear another voice, a man's voice I didn't recognize. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand, thinking I'd dial in "9-1-1" and have the call ready to go if needed before I investigated further, in case it was burglars or something.

      The phone wasn't working. It seems to be stuck on the calendar app, and even this is in some weird and confusing format. I keep pressing the main button to try to get back to the home screen so I can reach the page to dial from, but nothing helps. I still hear the voices and worry that the intruders might come into the room before I can get the phone working and then I'll have no recourse. Should I go outside to the back patio, so it will be easier to run away if necessary? At some point the absurdity of the whole scenario finally strikes me and I wonder if I'm dreaming. Since no one is around to see, I do a quick nose pinch. I can breathe easily. So I am dreaming! Oh good, there were tasks I needed to get done! I realize that since this was a DILD, I'm probably already fairly well-integrated into the dream state and check my impressions. A bit of roughness as I begin to move but not too bad, and the dream feels stable. I don't feel the need for further stabilization as long as I can avoid letting the paranoia of waking wake me up, so I put it out of mind and walk rapidly to the kitchen.

      I've brought my phone and figure it might come in handy at some point later on, so I try to slide it into the pocket of my skirt. Trouble is, I'm not wearing a skirt. I make the "sliding into pocket" gesture a few times, intending a long skirt with pockets to manifest, but it doesn't and the phone falls to the floor. Whatever. At least the pattern is in place, so I feel confident that I can get it out of my pocket later if I need it.

      I grab the bread from the kitchen counter, noting that it is a packet of round pita bread rather than the sandwich loaf that is there in waking life, and head out to the patio. Which task first? I love the idea of Howl's Moving Castle so I decide to start with that one. First I try to summon the castle directly, not through any special method, just willing it to approach on its own legs. It doesn't appear promptly, so I start with plan B: conjure a fire, call it "Calcifer," and feed it until it becomes strong enough to build the castle from the ground up. The first part should be easy; I've practiced conjuring fire before in this very spot. So I hold out my right hand and concentrate on creating a flame in my open palm. There's just one problem. It is raining, quite heavily actually. Typical dream perversity! I'm trying to fill my palm with fire, but meanwhile it is filling up with water. I ignore the dream's little joke, and keep concentrating on the fire.

      Sure enough, I shortly begin to feel the heat and see the brightness of the flame. I set it on the ground and start feeding it chunks of pita bread, calling it "Calcifer" and trying to coax it to respond. It grows larger at first, but doesn't show any sentience, and now the rain is causing it to dwindle despite my attempts to feed it. I decide to continue this experiment indoors, out of the rain. I pick up the fire, just carrying it in my hands, go inside and set it down again on a flat stone ledge, about two and half feet in width and height (the interior of the house no longer corresponds in any way to RL). I feed the fire and continue calling it "Calcifer" to try to get a response, but it ignores me, and I feel silly talking to a fire. I go outside, careful to take the fire out again with me so as not to leave it untended in the house, and fly up in the air before releasing it. I instruct it to go seek out Howl's Castle, hoping that it might reappear at some point later point in the dream.

      I return to the ground, once again in a place recognizably like my back patio, though it is no longer raining. What next? I realize the eyeball task should be quick and easy, if I can stomach it, so I ought to knock that one out of the way. I consider going inside the house to use a real mirror, but I don't want to waste time so I stand outside the sliding glass door to the kitchen and rely on the faint reflection of myself I can see there. There is nothing unusual about my reflection—much less so than usual, actually. When thinking about this task in waking life I had decided (for the sake of safety and squeamishness) to try to remove the eyeball in a more hands-off way, simply raising my palm and trying to pop it out through will alone, but now that I'm ready to go I don't even remember that idea. Instead I lift my right hand to my right eye and just start digging in there. I feel a momentary discomfort, enough to make me think, "I'd better be damn sure I'm dreaming!" before I feel the fingers slide smoothly into the socket with little pain, and this reassures me.

      The eye pops out easily, but it is attached to a surprisingly thick, gross, fleshy stalk. Even at the time I realize that my experience has probably been colored by other accounts of this task I've already read on the DV thread, some of which mention similar stalks. The stalk is inconvenient and ugly so I keep pulling until the eyeball breaks free, then turn it around to inspect it. It looks remarkably like an eyeball. I had been hoping that it would transform into something cool, like an orb of glass or even a jewel. But nope. It is a disturbingly life-like eyeball, with a distinct iris and pupil and even a bit of red tattered membrane where the stalk had been attached. When I aim the iris and pupil toward me, they already look dead and unseeing, so it doesn't occur to me to try to use this eyeball to see with. Also, although I don't take note of this at the time, in retrospect I can report that there was no subjective change in my experience of vision; I was still "seeing" as though with two intact eyes.

      I had meant to look at my reflection again after pulling the eye out, but I forget to do so. Instead I'm absorbed in inspecting this very ordinary-looking eyeball and trying to find any notable details to report. I do observe that the iris seems to have changed color: from the initial blue it has faded to a drab brown. It is still kind of creepy to be holding my eyeball, so without experimenting further I pop it back in. Luckily no difficulties there, and only then do I remember to check my reflection. I look normal and still don't notice any changes to my vision. I feel a momentary regret that I didn't remember to try to transform the eyeball into something else before putting it back in, but I feel reasonably satisfied with the task so I'm ready to move on.

      Now I'm down to the last of the three tasks I'd planned, and I feel a bit apprehensive. In one way or another, this damned Hansel and Gretel idea has been eluding me. But I still have my bag of pita bread, so I get started: my plan is to start dropping breadcrumbs as I walk, hopefully find myself in a forest, and see what happens from there. I re-read the story a few weeks ago in my copy of Brothers Grimm, but I haven't tried to flesh out the intended scenario because I want to give the dream leeway to respond creatively to my breadcrumb trail. So I start walking across the patio and dropping crumbs, and now I just have to figure out which way to go. My original plan had been to start on the street in front of the house, which had once transformed into an ideal forest in a previous unrelated dream, but now I'm behind the house and want to get started right away rather than have my plans potentially disrupted by a detour. It's okay, I'd planned for this too. I figured the hill behind the house might be wild enough that I could start climbing it and work it into a suitable forest. However, now when I look in that direction, I see a paved concrete footpath that leads between suburban houses with neatly trimmed lawns. Dream is being perverse again. In the opposite direction is a second path, smaller, with a similar suburban aspect. Which one will lead me sooner to a forest? Both look completely domesticated. I figure I'll just start with the first one and try thinking "forest" as I go. I start off, dropping my bread crumbs, but with no warning I wake up—or out of the dream, at least. As mentioned above, I sensed that I could re-enter the dream state but decided to write my report instead, was under the impression that I had gotten up, and wrote for quite a while before waking up for real.

      Updated 08-13-2014 at 04:47 PM by 34973

      Categories
      lucid , false awakening , task of the month , task of the year
    5. Fight at disney world (unknown date)

      by , 08-13-2014 at 02:04 PM (Tales from the sun chaser.)
      so here's what I remember.

      I'm at the Lilo and Stitch ride in Disney. It's a simulator in which the seats are in circular rows. All the action takes place in the middle of the room, but before it starts, people are asking for volunteers. A group of us are taken to a side area, and two people (male and a female) ask for singers. Some guy really wants me to sing because he thinks "we could win" if I did. I told him I didn't know how to sing at all. We get taken to an outdoor area, and I'm lugging a lot of stuff. I'm pretty sure it's all in a duffel bag. We get to a brook, and it starts friggin' raining, and everyone get's into "I'm melting mode", and begin leaving the park. I forget my bag, and I'm near main street when I remember. I remember some girl who remembered my name telling me "bye". I had a momentary moment of possibly being in a relationship with her. With those thoughts, in my head, she gave me a package. I can't remember what it had in it. Either clothing or candy, and she didn't want it. I was going to take it back for money, and that quest took me to inner Disney.

      I found myself walking through a call center type office (the guy who wanted me to sing pointed me in the direction) and I made my way to the back of it. Two guy who were obviously tech support were there. Cords, and wires were strewn between their desks like Christmas decorations. This was the last object I thought I would have to transverse before I reached my destination. Little did I know, I was going to run into the floor manager. He came up to me and asked me a few questions, and I did my best "I'm new here" impersonation. He sat me down, and asked to look at my package.....while forcefully grabbing it. Inside the package, he found paper work that left him infuriated. He was asking about the girl who said goodbye to me, and the degree of information that I had on hand. I told him I didn't even know the thing had papers in it. The papers had some sort of dirt on the company written down on them, and it included schematics. The floor manager sat there with his evil eyes fixed on me as if he was trying to see right though me. He opened his mouth, and his tongue extended longer and longer until it was almost touching my face.

      I forced myself to wake up....and realized I need to hand this guy a beat down. I reentered the dream and grabbed his tongue with an iron grip. I tossed him out of the way in the air, and in mid flight, he transformed into a dragon. The the entire building shattered into ruins and he flew off. Everyone was cowering, and I was out for blood. He flew towards me and I hit him with a shout (aka skyrim) and he fell. The people were cheering for me, and directed me to his location. I jumped up in a tree and waited for him to fly and take out his co-workers. I sprang from the tree, landing on his neck, and I delivered some blows of justice.

      The details of how the fight went down exactly have been long forgotten.
      Tags: dild, disney, dragon, lucid
      Categories
      lucid
    6. Dirty Dishes (wasted DILD)

      by , 08-09-2014 at 02:28 PM
      After some non-lucid sequences in my hotel room, I found myself in the kitchen of my house. I knew I was out of town on a trip, so I felt like I was just checking in. However things were a mess, even I knew the catsitter had been coming. There were lots of bowls of food out but they looked old and uncleaned, and the water was dirty. I went over to the sink to start washing them and I noticed that the sink was already full of dirty dishes. However, I distinctly remembered that I had done all the dishes before leaving on my trip. "Does this mean I'm lucid?" I thought to myself, and decided, "Of course, certainly," and felt that I had been aware that I had been dreaming all along even though I evidently had not been until I noticed the discontinuity. (In one of the earlier sequences I had been confusing about whether I was awake or dreaming to the point where I felt convinced that dream events were impinging in impossible ways on waking life.) I wondered if there were other discontinuities and looked around. I noticed that the catsitter had not taken the check I left for her, and that seemed odd. Wouldn't she have taken it on the first visit? However, I realized that this wasn't necessarily a discontinuity, because there might have been plausible reasons for her to have left it until later.

      I started washing a dirty bowl at the sink, one that the cats could use, but then I reflected, "If I'm lucid, maybe I should go do something else. I know! I'm in my kitchen, it would be a great opportunity to go outside and leave a trail of breadcrumbs to try to do the Hansel and Gretel task. But first I'll just wash this bowl and leave some fresh food and water for the kitties." So I stayed at the sink and continued washing the bowl, and also washed and refilled a water bowl.

      Even though the dream felt very stable to start, I was a bit paranoid that it wouldn't last long enough to let me get to my more interesting task, and I felt like this anxiety about waking was pushing me closer to actually doing so, and tried to put it out of mind. However, I soon felt my senses disengage and half-woke. But I didn't lose the mental image, and after a moment felt my senses re-engage and knew I was back in the dream. So I rushed to get a can of catfood and put it in the bowl I had now cleaned. A dream version of one cat came out and didn't seem interested in the food I had selected, though I figured, maybe this is a good thing, because if the catsitter feeds her food she likes better, the cat (who is very skittish) might feel more friendly to her. Just as I had finished this and was ready to start on my new task, I woke up again, and though I held very still, the dream state was too disrupted to re-enter.

      I was a bit annoyed with myself for wasting a lucid opportunity, but I understood my rationale. Even though I knew I was dreaming, I was not comfortable with the idea of leaving my dream-cats ill-tended, so that took priority over any other task. However, the error I made was in tending to them using the tedious methods of waking life: actually standing at the sink and washing bowls, actually going to another room to get the food and walking back with it, opening the can and using a spoon to empty the food into the bowl. I guess I did it this way out of habit, as it certainly felt like I was going through very familiar motions. I should have just manifested some clean food and water and then gotten to my task much more quickly.

      Updated 08-10-2014 at 03:31 PM by 34973

      Categories
      dream fragment , lucid , task of the year
    7. Lucid #8: First Flight

      by , 08-09-2014 at 07:57 AM
      This dream was from yesterday morning, August 8th.

      I'm in a small apartment with the drummer from Rage Against the Machine. He's cooking omelets. I'm thinking about what the band's politics likely mean about his beliefs when I become lucid.

      I had a theory the previous night that talking to DCs would draw me into the dream and increase stability, and anyway I wanted to attempt the basic task of the month. So I turn to the drummer to ask him to tell me a word in a foreign language, and its meaning. Before I can ask, it becomes clear that he's morphing into my dad.

      I don't worry about this too much. "Can you tell me a word in a foreign language?" I ask.

      "Maybe," he says.

      "Maybe?"

      "Spelled m-i-g-h-t."

      I either interpret this as a success or decide to give up. I must decide to try flying, because I hop and realize I float a bit on the way down. I start hopping higher and higher. My dad looks impressed. Finally I get airborne and am flying around the small apartment. I make a tight loop. It's pretty fun.

      I decide to go looking for other DCs and try to fly through the wall. My eyes are closed before I reach it and I feel this "bonk" feeling, like I slammed right into it. This drops me into something like the void. I try to use Xanous's gladis trick but I'm having trouble controlling my body.


      What comes next is either a real or a false awakening. Everything looks black, but I see a small triangle of light that looks like the aperture at the bottom of my sleep mask. I try to lift it with my hand, but I don't think it changes. This probably means I'm still dreaming, but at any rate I decide to settle in for a DEILD.

      The next I remember, I'm having a false awakening where I'm journalling the dream I described above. However, I get all the details wrong (i.e. it's not the drummer from Rage Against the Machine, but rather the guitarist) and I have to keep crossing them out. The dream evolves in typical non-lucid fashion from there.

      Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid
    8. 8/4/14 - The Struggle (Longest lucid yet!)

      by , 08-04-2014 at 08:05 PM
      A lot of stuff happened, and I had more than one dream, but I think this is all from the same one.


      PART 1: I was living in a home similar to my apartment. My 9yo brother and mom were there, as well as another adult and another kid. I can't remember the whole story, but there was some kind of conflict within the family. The final part involved me putting my brother to bed and saying something comforting. I heard my mom go, "STOP," from her room.


      PART 2: I was in my grandma's backyard at night with some other guy. He pointed out a big and bright red star cluster thing and said it was Israel (which is a star cluster according to dream logic, I guess) and that it was normally not visible were we were (a city). I thought to myself, I wonder if I can see the Pleiades from here? Sure enough, there was a smaller blue cluster nearby.

      Suddenly, and I shit you not, the "Pleiades" start shifting around until they formed a large rectangular pattern in the sky, which proceeded to zoom away. "Holy shit, holy fuck, HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!" I said. I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens.

      But wait, I thought, I might be dreaming. I pinched my nose and sure enough, I could breathe. I was disappointed, but my attention quickly shifted to the fact that I was now lucid, and I remembered that I needed to keep the dream stable. My vision became narrow. There were two black bars above and below where my vision was, and I could see my glasses in front of my face. I felt like I couldn't fully open my eyes. I figured I may as well summon a girl while I was "there". It took a few attempts, but I finally summoned one.

      My vision returned and the dream felt stabilized. I ended up in a house where two people were going at it on the floor. The one on top (not sure if it was a guy) moved out of my way, giving me full access to the girl. However, I had quite a bit of trouble entering her. No matter how much I tried to manually "open" her, my dream logic porn dick would not go in. I did manage to get inside of her once, but it was uncomfortable.

      After that, I woke up, but I took me several seconds to fully realize it.

      TL;DR Domestic conflict, aliens, and I finally got lucid for more than fifteen fucking seconds.


      I just got an idea. If I were to see a UFO or some other paranormal thing in waking life like I did here, I would do a reality check just to make sure I wasn't dreaming (again, like I did here). What happens to you in waking life can affect dream events. So, if I watch a lot of YouTube videos about UFOs and whatnot, I might dream about them more, thus increasing the likelihood of me doing a reality check and becoming lucid.

      It seems like it might work. I'll try this tonight. What do you think?
    9. Competition Night #3: Math, Mars, and a short LD

      by , 07-31-2014 at 12:23 AM (A Strange and Nonsensical Adventure)
      I'm on a train station platform. Am with a bunch of people like a girl like Regina and a girl who has an unzipped hoodie and who's not wearing anything underneath. We are trying to figure out something given t and m (3 and 2) and find something per sec by picking an arbitrary number and dividing (wanted it to be 2-3 but I kept getting 5 or so). I had a pencil (wooden) but dropped it on the tracks while trying to board the train. The people were going to leave but they're delayed because I need to get on with something (calculations or equipment?). There is also this black dude who also needs to get on (possibly Teal'c).

      Also, recursion—kept getting a method stuck in an infinite loop so inside this thing is infinite repetition. I fire up google to show someone what recursion is and the example is different—instead of did you mean: recursion? it's like "google x = recursion y" and it repeats on the platform somewhere. I point to both and explain how it "works".

      Woke up, back to sleep.

      First, an FA in which I think it's almost 6. Then a very brief LD? I am on DV and my username is antioa instead of antoia, but the thread name is correct.
      I realize it's wrong and RC. I grab my glasses from my desk and put them on and everything becomes clear. I go onto the balcony and look to the left. Everything fades into sepia there. I look back inside my bedroom. Everything is brightly lit and different and there may have been some random people in there. I remember the competition and try to fly which sort of works but not really. Dream fades.

      Woke up, back to sleep.

      Mars is taken over by people possessed by Goa'ulds and pokemon and stuff. Mr Z (CS teacher) is the leader of the anti-Goa'uld (?)movement (the opposition, anyway). I am possessed by a Tok'ra. The symbiote helps me become stronger and fight. Teal'c may be there. I jump around the place going to "the Court" where people are meeting because these worm things have grown really really big and are scattered all over the place and on the roof and stuff. I accidentally crash the enemy camp and they freak out. I get the hell out of there and head towards the soldiers who are on our side. Lots of arrows are flying around, and there is one part where we have to hide out in what looks like pillow forts against an attack, probably because I crashed the enemy camp...

      There is also a part with t-shirts and quotes from said Mars thing and pretty cool designs. The problem is that no one will get the reference because the thing is an obscure show.

      Fragments: I have a DJ app just for lucid dreaming and it's like Evernote with notebooks and stuff and it's really nice looking like an actual book and the sidebar is filled with categories like "LDs" and "For reading (secure)" and things like that.

      Sometime: there are 100+ year old people recorded and birth/death dates written on paper next to them. One of them is from 10XX to 11XX. Supposed to be Japan. I comment that the Franks took over England in 1066.
    10. LUCID: Partying, Stealing a Bus, and Convincing a Cop

      by , 07-24-2014 at 04:57 PM
      I went to bed at 2ish, and then WBTB at like 7.

      I am at some party with my friends. I'm really uncomfortable, since I'm kind of a wallflower. Someone brings out the beer and drugs. I really shouldn't be here. What if my parents find out? I leave with my friends M and B. We walk out, but M says that we should steal a car. I immediately protest, but somehow, we find a bus, we break into it, and with B in the driver's seat, we drive off. I'm kind of freaking out, but I go along with it anyway.

      We pull up next to a party bus at a red light. We exchange glances, and somehow mutually decide to drag race. The light turns green, and B floors it. We're losing the race, but then a cop pulls out and pulls over the other bus. That was close. We speed off, but then another cop comes to pull us over. I try to play it cool, hoping they don't know the bus is stolen. B gets out of the car to talk to the cops. Without saying a word, M jumps into the driver's seat and floors it.


      "M, what the heck are you doing? You're going to get us killed!"
      "I don't know man."
      "Dude, I can't go to jail, pull over!

      The bus continues to gain speed. I better turn myself in, maybe they'll be merciful. I open the side door and look out. From the side, it doesn't look like we're going very fast. I look behind us to see a single red car with police lights on top. I motion for them to move out of the way, but they don't. I just decide to make a move. I kind of step down from the car onto the pavement. I stay on my feet, which is good, but then the red cop car is heading straight for me. In some kind of slow-motion sequence, I determine which way is the best to jump, and barely dive out of the way before the car hits me. I roll into the grass on the side of the road.

      I stand up, take a minute to collect myself, and walk over to where the cops and B are. One cop that looks like Carl Winslow from Family Matters sees me.


      "Did you just jump out of a bus going 35 mph?"
      "No, I think it was more like 15."

      I kind of rest with my hands on my knees for a while, trying to catch my breath and soak in what just happened. The scene kind of shifts, and I'm under this patio at some kind of park. I see a clock that says it's 2:09 am. I see the cops taking M away in handcuffs. A female cop walks over to me. She says she'll let me go if I can tell her what time it is and what all happened that night. I tell her it's about 2:15 in the morning, and then try to remember what happened. I try to think back, but I have two overlapping memories - one of the car chase, and one of me going to bed.Wait a minute, I went to bed a while ago. I must be dreaming. I turn back to the cop.

      "Do you want me to tell you what actually happened, or what happened in this dream?"
      "Excuse me?"
      "That's right, this is a dream. None of this is real."
      She shines a light in my face. "Sir, have you been drinking this evening?"
      "No, really, I'll prove it to you!"

      I try to float up above her, but I can't get off the ground."Wait, hold on, I got this." She begins to look a little perturbed, and I see her reach for her handcuffs. Maybe this isn't a dream after all. But I can't go to jail. I gotta come up with something fast. I plug my nose and breathe loudly through it. It really isn't all that impressive, but she seems to be amazed. "You think that's cool, check this out." I squat down, and jump with all my might. I leap above the buildings about 50 feet in the air. I then slowly float down in front of her. She has a puzzled look on her face, like she is questioning everything that's happening. I'll show her one more thing. I pick up this heavy table next to me and try to balance it on my finger. I hold it for a while, but then it falls. "Meh, that one's still a work in progress."

      We walk around to the side of the building.
      "I can still answer your question if you want."
      "No, I don't think that's necessary anymore. I think I just need some time to think stuff out."
      I turn around to see a large group of my friends. I hear some rock song playing, kind of like a song at the end of a movie right before the credits. Well, let's put on a show. I take off with a running start and fly off. I fly over to a nearby billboard, do kind of a wall run on it, and keep flying. I get a ways off the ground, and I decide to just float off, like a balloon released in the wind. I rise up to the clouds. To make sure the dream doesn't destabilize, I rub my hands together. Unfortunately, doing that makes the dream instantly destabilize, and I wake up.
    11. (July 23, 2014) First Lucid Dream! DILD

      by , 07-23-2014 at 03:06 PM
      July 23, 2014

      No supplements or sleep aids used.

      Rating: 5/5 For first LD

      Break through! First Lucid!!!!

      It was short lived but great! It was also on one of the first REM cycle, if not the first. It felt so far back after I woke, and it was the first dream that happened out of a series of many. I did it without needing a reality check. I was outside my friend Jacob's house at night standing next to his dads truck when I saw a flying picture and thought to myself thats not right, I must be dreaming! I got so excited, almost woke my self up instantly but calmed down. It felt as though I was losing my grip on control as well the more the dream almost stopped. I tried to spin but couldn't so i mentally calmed it down. I walked out into the street under the street lights beam if light. Once it got a little better I immediately started flying over all the houses. I still did not have a good grip on the dream as it was my first time. I saw a lot of other houses, different than what would normally be there. The street was not there like normally, just back to back houses with yards separated by fencing, some white picket sone black steel bar. I decided to land in the back yard of one and go inside. I went in trying to summon a DC. I tried the light switch and it came on, so i didn't try to mess around with it anymore. The house was dimly lit with yellow light bulb light. It had dark brown trim and beige walls. I walked through trying to summon a specific DC but a different one ended up coming. but unfortunately, I woke up then due to excitement of finally having a lucid dream. I put all my thought into this, so I only remember small fragments of a few later dreams.

      Updated 07-24-2014 at 12:55 AM by 62947

      Categories
      memorable , side notes , lucid
    12. Strange Lucidity

      by , 07-17-2014 at 10:58 AM (The Journal of Success)
      I went to bed 22:31 , early because I was going to have my drivers test the next morning (today).
      And I passed it woop woop! I now got a drivers license.

      I meditated myself to sleep and then I had this dream:

      I was walking inside my house but got the feeling that something was not right.
      I realized that it was a dream, but my mind kept trying to convince me that it was my real house. So I screamed out "F*ck you (myself) this is my dream!" I started to run around and jump and fly in the air and I was laughing to the fact nothing was real. Then I thought of sex and had some strange sex vizualisations appeared.
      Then the dream slowly faded and I was back in my bed. I checked the time and it was 00:49.

      When I fell back to sleep I had these dreams:

      I was attempting to WILD in a sofa, and since I expected a dream, when the environment changed I realized it was a dream. But that did not last for long. I did have some strange but really vivid normal dreams after this though. I saw a girl that was half human, half bird. It was a big yellow bird and I thought about riding on it, taming it and flying around on it. I tried to talk to her, but she was a little afraid. I gave her some bread and we became friends.
      This developed into a strange relationship and I made out with the bird (it had a human head). And then we talked and she said she was going to the bathroom. Then my old crush suddenly appeared and was really interested in me. I thought "Oh really now when I got a girl you are interested... But maybe we could be together anyway" and I started to kiss her, she resisted it but then she started to kiss me back. Suddenly the birdchick was back and when I turned around and met her angry gaze..


      I woke up. xD
      Tags: dild, kissing, strange
      Categories
      lucid
    13. Lucid #1: Air Force Thrill Ride

      by , 07-15-2014 at 11:36 AM
      From Wednesday, 7/9/14.

      I'm in the air force and our CO takes us to another base. The CO there is insane. He orders ours to leave and forces us onto some kind of thrill-ride-like trainer, where he says we'll "do backspins until we pass out."

      While on the ride, I'm reading notes on some folded paper. I finish just before the ride ends and note that it's actually pretty fun. I regret not being more aware for it. As we walk off, I'm headed towards the attendant and wonder if she'll let me ride again. "Of course she will," I think.
      "I'm dreaming."

      I run up to her and announce "I'm having a lucid dream."

      "I know," she says, sounding gleeful to be in on the secret.

      I start rubbing my hands to stabilize, saying, "I'm rubbing my hands to stabilize the dream."

      Then I decide to go exploring. I walk down a hallway with a black and white checked tile floor when my vision starts blurring, like my contacts are falling out. I stop and try to rub my hands again, but the blurring continues. I consider spinning, but decide against it, and soon
      the dream ends.

      Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

      Updated 07-15-2014 at 12:42 PM by 70064

      Tags: dild, ssild
      Categories
      lucid
    14. Becoming a mech; left the TV on to get lucid :D

      by , 07-14-2014 at 10:02 PM
      I accidentaly left George Lopez on TV. The episode was a rerun from the previous night. I woke up, remembering that the TV was on, but then instead of getting out of bed, I thought "I'll know I'm dreaming know" so I went back to sleep. I forgot for a moment, then I realized it again. I went beast mode. I was walking through the town, then I thought to myself "These are NPCs, right? Therefore, it won't matter if they die." So I saw my perspective slowly lift into the air as mechanical sounds were made. All of a sudden, my body was enveloped into a metal chassis. Flamethrowers were hitched to my arms, and my tongue turned into a machine gun. I started torching the town, the pathetic NPCs cried for help and safety. I thought that it would be cool to take on extra terrestrial beings, so I summoned aliens. Ate the flashy ships. Then I thought after the town was crushed "let's take on a deity" So I cycled through a list of deities, Aries, mars, venus, Aphrodite, Cupid, Zeus, then it hit me. God. He caused the death of my trusted guinea pig, Max. I summoned him into the world in his true form; a spectral representation of a human being much bigger. I shot rockets at him, and he threw bolts of lightning at me. I dodged it in a bullet-time like matrix. I punched him as I valiantly cried out "This is for max!" Then proceeded to wake up. I had some "lumber" I had to "cut down" when I woke up in the morning, and here I am. Like a boss. yay

      Updated 07-15-2014 at 12:00 AM by 70045

      Categories
      lucid , memorable , dream fragment , side notes
    15. 7/14/14 Spotlight Burlesque DILD

      by , 07-14-2014 at 09:53 PM
      7/14/14* My previous DJ entry was up there with my all time favorites. I just loved the setting and vividness. Tonight near lucid then lucid later. I'm in a parking garage. Guy pulls up in a car with a tarp over a big part of it. What do you have under there? He says he doesn't need to tell me. We need to know (am I police or security or something?). First thought=could be bomb! Then, it could be kidnapped kids...Sure enough dream comes up with 2 kids under the tarp. Some other guy struggles with guy that came in the car and also with the kids who are being brats. A relatively big tough guy nearby wants to stop me from intervening. "The three of us can take you," I start to say. He says some threats related to him not being afraid to go back to jail. I back off...wake=FA. I think to myself if I was lucid I could have knocked him around with TK! Tough guy and I are sharing a sleeping space now? I'm on couch and he crawls over me slowly...to go to the bathroom? I can feel him stepping on the couch in several places trying to make his way over me. I pretend to be asleep. When he gets back he seems to be cuddling me... Hell no, I think...uh...I need to go pee. I get up and say something like "gotta stop drinking so much water...gotta pee all the time (excuse)." I look back at him. He has this weird peeking eye?..One eye is slightly open but he is also snoring so I assume he is asleep. His feet are up on the couch and his upper half on the floor, face up. I head to the bathroom and I have to pull 2 doors together to lock it in a very loose fashion and I can still see out. While I am urinating I see a lady with a spotlight on her doing burlesque! I'm dreaming! I approach her. She changes to a different woman and then back. She is not really slender, dark hair and is in black lingerie. I think let's look around while doing a little dancing with her but I can't focus on the surroundings much. I start to have intercourse with the dancer lady standing up. Someone says "here's Mom" and a older motherly figure and an older fatherly figure show up. I take this as a test to my lucidity and think: no worries! I say "Hey mom, check her out" as I continue intercourse. "Hey check out these breasts" and I remove her bra..."nice breasts, right?!" Ok...let me get down to goals...I want to find Dreamer for the Bonus TOTM, but not here, not like this. I will teleport...closed eye
      teleport. I say I want to arrive in a beautiful and vivid world...but perhaps I did not give it enough focus. I open my eyes and I am in a hazy storage room? There are stacked metal folding chairs in a few different spots. I look around a little while, but I am not seeing anything interesting and unfortunately lose patience. I try another teleport and instead of closing my eyes I clench my eyes like when I am trying to DEILD and I
      wake up or have a convincing FA of right where I'm at IWL...possibly FA because when I decide to roll over and check the time it feels like I am shaking off SP. Either way, awake. 174
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