Recent DJ Posts

Doubt:
I'm in a bar that reminds me of a nightclub back in California.
I'm with my girlfriend and some coworkers of hers.
I'm feeling jealous and concerned that her younger male coworkers are interested in her.
I remember my mental training and reason that she hasn't hurt me, and I should trust her unless/until she does.
One of the men approaches me and suggests that my trust is misplaced.
...
I've left the bar and I see the same group of guys walking up ahead with her.
I talk to one of the guys and he seems OK, a friend in an emotional storm.
I decide to continue trusting her, ignoring my discomfort.

I'm walking around a school. It very similar to my elementary school, but it's obviously high school. As I walk around I enter a large circular room with a giant staircase down the middle. I notice the the whole room is really full of people. The walls are glass windows. I walk up to the walls and look outside. I notice that we are very high up like in a sky scraper, but I feel like we're actually moving, as if in a dirigible. While still staying close to the windows, I walk around the room, heading towards the stairs. When I get to them I see A very tall, white man walking down them. I get nervous and shrink away from him a bit. I immediately walk past the stairs, hoping he doesn't see me. I look back to make sure he's gone. Once I'm sure he's gone, I feel better and go close to the windows again. I sit down next to two girls who I'm friends with. I smile and they smile back and say hi. Then they turn back to each other and start to make out. It doesn't bother me at first, but then I start to get annoyed. I feel envious and think that I should have someone to kiss as well. Without saying anything, I get up and walk up to the windows. I look up and see a large rope for blinds. I grab it and try to pull the blinds down. But for some reason they won't stay down. I freak out a little bit because I know if I let go of the rope the blinds will fly all the way up and I don't want that. A guy suddenly walks up and offers to help me. I smile gratefully and he takes the rope and pulls the blinds down. I walk away from him as he does that. I feel like I need to find someone.

I had a dream I had my own house and a buddy of mine was visiting. Somebody knocked on my door, my buddy answers the door, its a guy I talked to like 3 years ago. Anyways he gets really jealous and demands an explanation. I wake up.

3rd May 2015
My girlfriend and I sat in a corner booth of a restaurant about to order a meal.The lighting was dim and sepia like, slightly romantic. Two guys,one being a Indian comedian, approached us and sat down. He then gave my girlfriend a flower and a pink box of dark chocolate with her name on it. I laughed inside thinking that he was about to get blown of while his white cronie stood and watched.To my surprise my girlfriend giggled and began to entertain his antics.
The green eyed monster,jealousy, immediately took hold but I somehow managed to control myself and walk away. Looking back at them made me nauseous, with him and here chatting and flirting.

Remembered this dream this past Friday morning. My recall sure has been wonky lately.
I lost my house due to not paying the bills, along with the fact that some greedy people wanted it for themselves. Basically, I was kicked out, and my girlfriend was with me (naturally).
We seemingly had no where to go, but luckily enough, her Canadian friend (a guy I know IRL) owned a ranch and allowed us to stay there with him.
Now, this was all well and good. Soft beds and beautiful outdoors weren't things to complain about. But this guy, whom I'll call E (her friend and the owner of the ranch), he started trying to get her attention away from me on him. It started to become a dastardly competition between the two of us, to see who could win my girlfriend's affections. This was basically us:
Eventually it got to the point where we started arguing over who was the best. My girlfriend didn't intervene on the whole thing, but instead chose the more amusing option and sat on the sidelines enjoying every bit of it.

I know there was a little more before the dream ended, but it's too hazy. So, here we are.

So, it's been about two years since I last had a conversation with Jenn - ever since I went back to school. Since then, I slowly stopped having dreams about her(mostly because I stopped viewing her stuff on social media sites). But that I have almost nothing to do again(classes were full/struggling to get a job), I found myself thinking about her and checking her online profile to see if she is with another guy.

Dream:

I was back in Pacific High School(which was about 2-3 years ago), and the whole school were already walking home. I was standing near the sidewalk where I was able to see the streets very clearly. I had no idea what I was doing here - I never questioned it.

A few moments passed and I start paying attention to my surroundings. One area I used to always stare at during waking life was the front left corner of a sidewalk across the road. I saw Jenn there, talking to someone - a guy. I was shocked. This guy was almost like me except he was changed in cacky light brown shorts and a back t-shirt.

I stared closely at them to see what they were up to. Jenn seemed to be interested in him, judging by her facial expressions. I was not happy of this, especially after she told me in reality that she wasn't looking for a relationship. I had faith that if either one of them would of kissed the other, I would of killed them. I had so much anger for her.

After a while of watching them talk, the boy began walking towards his house. Surprisingly, I turned out following him opposed to Jenn. I moved through the crowds of students saying 'excuse me' and 'thank you' while keeping a close distance to the boy. After I got out of the crowd, I saw the boy walking in to a one-way street. I slowly moved in for a closer look and crouched down to avoid being seen.

During this moment, I had strong thoughts to commit murder on this boy. I just wanted him to die and knew he didn't deserve Jenn with the type of personality he had(but somehow some girls dig that). I ignored killing him this time. I got back up and left.

I remember becoming aware for a few seconds in one of my dreams.
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I was in a huge cafeteria and with a lot of people. Some dude wanted to fight me but I don't remember what happened I was then taking a dump in a bathroom that I think was very dirty
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I went underwater into a beautiful reef that was enclosed on all sides. I saw 2 little fish-like things. One with 1 fin and another with 2 fins. The one I wanted to talk to was the one with 2. We swam around jellyfish and I warned the fish with 2 fins, who was a girl, not totouch the tentacles, only the caps of the jellyfish. The jellyfish were floating upwards and created a beautiful square wall with their tentacles. I took my phone out and took a picture of the jellyfish wall. The fish with 2 fins then turned into a mermaid and we kept talking and even took pictures together.
I was then on some bed in an apartment and the mermaid had grown legs. She started giving my apparent roommate a massage and I was mad because she was mine but not really because I never asked her out. I was still jelly. She left and she suddenly turned into Christa and would talk all retarded. I got disgusted and left to some karate place where the teacher/instructor was testing us on how to make origami out of popcorn bags. I didn't know what I was doing but Chenn from drill helped me while the professor wasn't looking.

In this dream I was a lawyer or anyway working on a high profile legal case, helping some sports celebrity, or rather some owner of a sports team - not sure but he was connected to sports,very rich, famous, but not actually doing the sport himself.

In my dream I was single and my boss was trying to help me out, and thus in addition to being assigned to this case he had also set up a number of one on one meetings with this client, which had the potential to turn into dates.

There was a class of some sort and the students who were mostly grown women were asked why is is such a high profile legal case, and they could not answer it, but I did "Not only is the client a celebrity in the sports business, but also this case is of crucial importance to the US Department of Defense."

Then there was a scene in a class room of sorts and I was there with a man who in my dream was either my ex or an on and off again boyfriend. the famous client passed in the hallway, and I told the man I was with that not only am I on his case but I have a number of one on one meetings scheduled with this client and they are turning into dates. I had the sense that the man I was talking to was jealous but the wrong king of jealous: he was not jealous of me, but rather jealous that I had that close encounteres with this famous sports world guy. I realized that I was hoping my friend would be jealous of me, upset that I had dates with another man, but he appeared too star struck to notice.

Fragment: in this dream there was a buffet of sort and I was there with my friends, a husband and wife who are Muslim. They were eager to try Pierogi, which is a specialty from my home country Poland. pierogi actually is a stuffed pasta, but in my dream they appeared to be alcohol filled chocolates. It appeared there was only one left and the wife (my friend took it) before I could warn her that there was alcohol in it. I wondered whether I should tell her, but then I figured the harm was already done, plus if she took it unknowingly surely it would not be a blemish on her Muslim religious practice. the husband meanwhile was eagerly taking another "pierogi", which appeared to actually be a gingerbread cookie. I hesitated whether to tall him that that was not a pierogi, because his wife had had the last one, but then I thought that he seemed eager to try a pierogi, this gingerbread cookie was also a Polish specialty, the wife had already had a real "pierogi" so the husband could not, and if there had been one left he too would have broken the no alcohol religious rule, so I decided to let him think that the gingerbread cookie was also a pierogi.

1. I was in a mall. I took the escalator going down. I lied down on it and looked up to a psychedelic sky, blue, black, yellow, white, all blending in. I can't tell if it was night or day. I took pictures every 'step' of the way down. Lightning, photos, angles or angels. When I reached the bottom step, I thought of someone I tried to court recently (2 months ago), and I felt jealous.

2. I was wandering aimlessly around the mall. I can't seem to reach my destination, but I don't even know what my destination is. There was an escalator going up, but I didn't think it will lead me to my unknown destination. I just keep walking, jumping even. I didn't feel frustrated. I seemed to be enjoying just walking around aimlessly.

NOTE: I meditated before going to sleep for 15 minutes and watched the hypnagogic images. This might have influenced the psychedelic sky. I also thought of that person I tried to court before sleeping. Wrote a short interpretation of the dream in my notebook which proved enlightening.

Dream - Lucid

I was walking into my house through the kitchen. It was morning, and I had been gone somewhere all night, I think in a dungeon killing monsters. My parents were away for awhile, and they wanted my brother and I to take care of the house. Well, apparently, my brother and I, and Chris and his girlfriend. Chris walked out of the hallway and into the kitchen wearing a grey shirt, followed by his girlfriend, followed by some guys carrying cases of beer. They had partied all night, and stayed at the house! WHAT? How disrespectful, not only to my brother and I, but to my parents! Besides that, I was mad that him and his girlfriend even stayed overnight at my house! Apparently, Chris was leaving to take his girlfriend to the airport. I don't think I said anything to him about how mad I was. I just stood there dumbfounded and pissed as they walked through the back door to leave.

I then felt like I was at the airport, but it was open and outdoors. The sky was blue/grey with some white clouds. I was then in an airplane, and we passed through a huge cloud. It was as if I was enveloped by fluffy, warm clouds, which at first, didn't make a whole lot of sense to me, because I thought passing through the cloud would make the plane colder. But instead, it made me feel sleepy, comfy, and relaxed, so I closed my eyes.

Then, I was back at the house, and wanted to go down into the dungeon-type area (more video game/Minecraft elements here) that was actually down inside the house. Blake went with me. I think I had to get something from down there.

When we got down there, it was quite dark, and there were monsters everywhere, some that looked like the Pokemon Gurrdurr from a game I was watching Blake play yesterday IWL. I started to hack away at the monsters as they noticed and came at me, all while trying to light the room up with torches. As all this was going on, I was complaining to Blake about the Chris situation, about him staying there overnight with his girlfriend. I was still mad about the party thing, but more mad about him bringing his girlfriend into my house. He seemed perplexed, as if he didn't understand why I was so pissed about the whole thing. I then thought that they were staying in my bed, and probably having sex in it. Ugh. Gross and awkward. I imagined my empty bed messed up on both sides in my dark room.

I kept wanting/needing to return to that dungeon area for some reason, and each time I returned, all the monsters had respawned in the same places, and the lighting was gone again, so I'd have to re-kill the monsters and re-light the room.

This dream seems to be showing me how I keep on getting jealous and peeved that Chris has an awesome girlfriend (symbolized not only by them being together in my house in the dream, but the concept of "fighting the same monsters over and over" in the dungeon) whom he's been dating for over a year now, and it makes me jealous, because we had such a strong love for each other when we were together. Even still, though I thought I was over it and that I'd moved on (all this stuff with us fighting and him getting together with this girl happened almost 2 years ago now), when I see something about him and her on Facebook, it kind of upsets me, and I quickly scroll past it to avoid thinking too much about it.

Also, I know for a fact I had a long dream before this, but my recall isn't really great right now for a multitude of reasons. Hoping it gets back on track here again soon.

I am sitting on the floor in an old daycare that I used to attend when I was 4 years old. I am about the same age I am now (26) and a girl that I used to be best friends with when I was in junior high, Amanda, is there with me. She is sitting to the right of me. We are both sitting like children sometimes do, with our legs spread out to the sides in a V shape. We both have a giant piece of paper in front of us. My task is to write something about the person I am today. I feel unsure of what to write and I don't want anyone to judge me so I don't write anything. Instead I sit there and rip a piece of the top right hand corner off and play with it for awhile. I look to see if Amanda has written anything and she hasn't either.

The room is laid out exactly how I remember it in real life. The teachers desk is diagonally to the left of me. The back door to go outside to the playground is to my immediate left. The cubby room is right behind me. The bathroom is right behind Amanda. The classroom door that enters from the hallway is on the other side of the room to the right. There are lots of little kids in this classroom and we are way too grown to be in here with them! It seems a little strange to me but I don't think about it too much.

Amanda and I are now in the corner across the room playing around two desks. We seem to have built a 'fort' with our personal belongings, just like little kids often do. We decorated this area with our handbags, sunglasses, shoes and lip glosses.

Pauly D from jersey shore is in the room with us too. He is sitting on the floor near the door in a circle with about 3 other little kids. Next to them sits the teacher on the floor with the rest of the classroom sitting with her. I can feel Amanda's negativity towards me, like always. I pull out my iphone4 and suddenly a loud voice is heard from my phone saying, "annyeonghaseyo". It is my Korean language learning app and I am embarrassed. I quickly try to shut it off and suddenly Pauly D repeats it and then starts singing the entire Korean alphabet to me! I am impressed. He comes over and I ask him where he learned to speak the language. He tells that he works for the night club, "Bleu", and his manager made all of the employees learn to speak it. This excites me. I smile and say, "that's because a lot of Korean people must go there!!!!!"

Amanda starts feeling jealous that Pauly D is paying more attention to me than her so she begins to compete with me for his attention. She leaves me to go play poker with him and the other kids. I want to join but I am a little rusty on my poker skills and I am afraid if I play I will loose and look dumb. I sit behind Amanda and watch. The teacher says something to me but I forget. Amanda is flirting hard with Pauly D and totally ignoring me. I feel like I need to pee so I tell Amanda I am going to put my shoes on before going into the bathroom, because walking into the bathroom without shoes is just nasty. She looks at me with a vague expression and I get up and walk over to the corner where I left my shoes.

On my way I pass the bathroom. I look in and realize their are no doors or curtains, and the toilets are little tiny baby toilets! I decide I'd rather hold it than to be embarrassed by someone walking by and seeing me with my pants down. I put my shoes on and clean up all of my stuff so I don't loose anything. I feel excluded. I hang out in the corner by myself and decide I want to roll myself an ice cream cone. I end up rolling two. I use waffle cone wraps that are soft with vanilla ice cream. Pauly D walks over and asks if he can have one. I give him the 2nd one I rolled which is less pretty than the first. He stands there talking to me and I can feel Amanda getting extremely jealous and upset.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

It was night. My mom, one of my nephews, and I stood outside under some kind of shelter, like the shelter over a gas pump island at a gas station. But this shelter was lower, and it seemed a lot brighter underneath, like it was lit with incandescent lights.

There was a lot of stuff under the shelter, like stuff out of a house. The shelter also seemed to be connected either to a house or to a grocery store.

My mom and I had probably come from whatever place the shelter was connected to. I was probably getting ready to leave the shelter altogether, maybe because I felt I needed to.

But now a car like my little brother's car came driving toward me from the building, as if it had been inside the building. The car stopped. It may actually have been driverless. The doors opened. Something like a gust of cold wind may have come out of the car.

I suddenly got the feeling that my actions were hurting somebody's feelings. It may have been my brother. But it may have been a woman, possibly a relative of mine.

I started shivering. Then I started getting a really weird feeling, like I was melting inside. My emotions and my sensations all began quivering and getting really weird. I was shuddering and rubbing my arms. Then I collapsed.

People, probably including my mom, may have helped me up. They may have walked me into the building, which was now a grocery store, although it was supposed to be a hospital.

I was laid down on a hospital bed that was partly walled-off from the grocery store by a hospital room privacy curtain. The space I was in was cluttered.

I had been told that I had gone through the weird physical moment because I had been dehydrated. I knew that my being dehydrated had something to do with the car.

I don't think I felt terribly tired or bad. I may even have been standing up and walking around. But I had been told I had to stay at the place because the doctors were still observing me, making sure I wasn't suffering anymore of the effects of being dehydrated.

At some point a doctor may have come in to see me. The doctor may have been a woman. Or, possibly, after a male doctor had seen me, a female nurse may have come in to see me.

Whoever the woman was, at some point she was so close to me that it was like she was embracing me. She began telling me something about how some other woman, another doctor or another nurse, was either jealous of the woman or jealous of me.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a museum with enormous rooms. The paintings were also enormous. The walls of the rooms may have been twenty or so meters tall. The paintings were just as tall.

I may have been with a group of people, possibly a school group. But I had broken off from them for some reason or another, and I was now walking around by myself.

But I was afraid to go into any of the rooms very far. The paintings on the walls were so gigantic. I was afraid they'd fall on me and smash me. So I could barely go beyond the threshold into rooms.

One room was kind of dimly lit, like from a dirty set of windows in the ceiling. I saw a pair of paintings in the room. The paintings were, I told myself, either by Goya or El Greco.

The paintings had the same subject: a young man in rich attire, something like pink, satin pants and a white shirt. The paintings stood opposite each other in a kind of side niche in the room. I wanted to examine the paintings closer, but I was too afraid of them falling on me.

I left this room -- I think -- and went into another room. The paintings were also huge in this room. But I may have been getting braver about being around the paintings, and I may have stepped quite a few meters into the room.

But now I looked up and saw that there were also paintings in the ceiling, the rest of the ceiling being made out of thick, ornate wood, like in the Rose Reading Room of the New York Public Library. I was now afraid of the ceiling paintings falling on me. They seemed like they'd be heavier than the wall paintings.

Dream #2

It was a greyish day. I was either treading water in a river, moving backwards slowly in a small boat, like a rowboat, in a river, or standing on a walkway through or at the edge of a river.

I may at first have been with a group of older, well-off people, like a tour group. But I'd broken away from the group a bit. The group were all walking along the walkway.

The river was wide, and at the other end of it was a big, kind of square, building. The building faced the river directly, starkly: it may even have been a bit cantilevered over the river.

The building was made of some kind of white stone, but the front of it, or the side facing the river, was of slightly tinted glass. This windowed section curved around the sides of the building as well, giving the white stone of the building a kind of backwards "C" shape.

I knew that the building was an art museum. It was the Art Museum of Mexico or the Mexico Museum of Art. It was a very good and nice museum. But it was also used -- especially the enormous room overlooking the river -- by drug cartels for arranging certain deals.

People liked to visit the museum. But people who went there were always afraid. You always had to be careful not to hear things, or at least not to act like you heard things. And you couldn't offend any person in any way. If you offended someone or acted like you'd overheard some drug deal being arranged, you could be killed.

But for some reason I was feeling defiant. I was going to go into the museum and I wasn't going to act afraid at all. Besides, it was the Mexico Museum of Art. It was full of great works of art. I'd be really disappointed in myself if I didn't see the art works there.

Dream #3

I was in some building. I was near a staircase. Apparently I'd always come here to this place to read. Other people did, too. But I'd come to have a favorite spot for reading on the staircase. And I'd read there all the time.

There were some guys who'd decided to follow me around. They thought I was really smart. They were jealous of me. They wanted to figure out everything I was doing and studying. They thought if they read everything I read, they could get smarter than they thought I was.

One of these guys was an old, kind of tall, white man with a big belly. He wore nice slacks and a nice button-up shirt. He saw I was heading toward the staircase to read. So he either took the place I always took or took a place a few steps higher than my place. Wherever he sat, his plan was to look down at what I was doing, so he could do it, too, and hopefully beat me at it.

I tried to figure out what to do. I didn't really care if people knew what I was doing. I tried to be open about that. But I felt annoyed. I may have thought I'd hide whatever I was doing, just to annoy the man back a little. Or I may have thought I'd just act unperturbed, like the man didn't bother me, or didn't exist at all.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a big, empty room. The room had a grey, concrete floor. There was natural light coming in through a window somewhere.

A brown blanket lay in the center of the room, on the floor. The blanket was made up of small squares. For some reason, I was now cutting the lower squares off the blanket. But I was leaving a couple of the central squares in one of the lower rows attached to the upper rows. So now the blanket looked like a square with a bit of a lip at the bottom.

As this was going on, a movie was playing against the back wall. It was black and white. The film was old and scratchy. There were also four or five straight lines that ran vertically, up through the center of the frame.

The movie looked like an Abbott and Costello movie. But Costello was a kind of serious character, and the other guy was a young, kind of bright, but shy guy.

The Costello character was telling the man something like, "I don't think your idea for using the edges of the film-frame and putting sound on them is such a great idea. I don't think people will like it. It's too bothersome."

I now realized that the lines running up the center of the frame were the soundtrack lines that Costello was referring too. I thought that they were bothersome -- if they had to be right in the center of the frame like that!

But then I realized that those were the lines for this film. The film the man had made had the lines on the outside of the frame, where they weren't visible.

I understood that Costello's criticism of the man's use of a soundtrack in his films wasn't valid. But I somehow knew that Costello knew this as well. In fact, I knew, Costello even thought the use of soundtracks in film was a good idea.

But Costello didn't want to let the young man know he thought it was a good idea. He didn't want to support the young man's development. Costello felt that the young man was smart enough as it was, and that the young man would be so successful eventually, that he shouldn't have to support him in his efforts.

I thought that this was a terrible sentiment on Costello's part, and that the young man was probably in dire need of help.

Dream #2

I lay in bed, on my back, in an otherwise almost empty room. It was almost completely dark in the room. The bed was set next to a wall, which was to my right. The bed itself was rather narrow.

I looked out to my left, across the room. On the wall at the head of my bed was a window. It was pretty heavily curtained, but it let in, at the far end, a tiny corner of orange streetlamp light.

I noticed, in the corner of the room that was dimly lit by the streetlamp light, three statues. The statues were all Egyptian busts. They were all set on square pedestals, but they were arranged in a really haphazard way.

I knew somehow -- maybe from some narration in my head? -- that the busts were all supposed to be of the boy Pharaoh Tutankhamen. But all the busts were wearing the ubiquitous headdress of Nefertiti. And one of the busts, the lowest one, facing me most directly, was of a really chubby boy or man!

Dream #3

I was out on a beach. It was a nice, sunny day. There were a decent amount of people out on the beach, but not too many.

For some reason, I suddenly felt like I had to leave. I turned to my right and began heading away.

But as I left the beach, people began giving me troubles. I'm not sure what these troubles were now. But I think people just constantly kept getting in my way, even though there weren't a whole lot of people on the beach.

I may finally have thought I'd counter the problem by flying. I may have started flying a couple meters above the ground.

Now I was moving through an area of the beach with orange sand. Two enormous, black guys now came charging down the beach. It looked like they were just trying to start trouble. They had huge, long dredds and black, Oakley-style sunglasses, with silver rims on the tops.

I may possibly have stopped flying. I may possibly have thought if these guys saw me flying, they'd just pull me down and pummel me. But once these guys passed me, I knew that I had to get out of here once and for all. Soon there wouldn't be anything here but trouble.

I may possibly have gotten onto a bike like the bike I rode in junior high school. Or I may still just have been walking.

I ended up on a concrete path in a park. I took this park to be a park from my high school years IWL. It was kind of like a trail on a small greenbelt running through a suburban residential area. It seemed like the path descended from here and went under a bridge.

Either on foot or on bike, I descended under the bridge. Once I got beyond the bridge, I was in a much more forest-like, tree covered area. The path may now have been dirt, rather than concrete. There was a river on my right side. Trees also seemed to be growing up out of the river.

I suddenly noticed a gigantic bullfrog sitting on the stump of one of the river trees. The bullfrog must have been 60cm tall! It looked pretty intelligent, too. It seemed to register my presence and be a bit worried about whether I wanted to hurt it.

I acted calm and walked forward, trying not to regard the frog at all, so it would feel less worried. But now, up the way only twenty or thirty more meters, I saw another one of these huge frogs!

I decided to get off this trail. I think I was afraid of the frogs. But I also think that I thought that if I kept having to act like I didn't see or care about every frog that worried as I passed it, I'd get bored as hell pretty quick.

But also -- the trail itself may also simply have just ended: being cut off by the merging of a small creek on my left with the river on my right.

I saw that if I jumped across the small creek on my left, I could land on the opposite bank. The bank was steep, but short, dry, and grassy. I could easily climb up it and out of this park altogether.

But as I turned left to face the opposite bank, I noticed another huge frog! This one was also kind of worried about me. I was now in between two huge frogs that were all shifty and nervous. And I was afraid that if I jumped, my motions would be so fast and scary to them that they'd have heart attacks!

I wondered how I could jump without scaring the frogs. The only thing I could think to do was close my eyes and jump. This way, the frogs would see that I wasn't looking at anything at all, and so I couldn't be jumping because I was trying to attack them.

I closed my eyes. But I couldn't remember what the bank looked like. I didn't want to hit something bad. I tried to open my eyes again to get a good memory of the bank. But when I opened them, they were all groggy and grainy. It was really hard for me to focus on anything.

Finally, the frog off to my right said, in something like a female voice, "There's actually a good patch right up around here."

I looked up to the frog. I went to where the frog directed me. I jumped across the little creek and landed on the bank. I started climbing up the bank.

All this time, the frog was still talking to me, in that kind of female voice. She was kind of friendly, like a really smart scientist, or a librarian. But I had the idea that the frogs really weren't comfortable with my presence here.

At the top of the bank, I turned around to look back down at the river. The river wasn't there anymore. I was just facing a red brick building, which seemed to be set a meter or so down into a sandy trench. I was out on a road, it seemed, on the outskirts of a very small town in the desert.

But this didn't even register with me. Down at the base of the building I saw a rectangular slat of an opening in the wall. Two sets of female eyes looked back out at me. I knew these two women were the frogs I had just jumped past on the river.

I felt bad for not having spoken to them. So I did want to say something to them. But I also felt a little shy, like somehow these frogs were of a higher station than I was, and would thus be put off by my acting too familiar with them. So I wanted to keep whatever I said short.

I said, "Yeah, I'm sure I'll come back here. So if I do, I'll talk to you guys again. I used to ride my bike up through this park all the time when I was a kid."

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a dark restaurant. The restaurant had a lot of small, black, two-person tables in the main area. I sat at a table there. Off to my left there were some bigger booth tables. Multicolored neon lights seemed to reflect off many of the dark surfaces in the bar.

The two-person seating area was pretty full. A business man sat next to me, at the table to my right. He may have been Asian American, maybe in his late thirties or early forties. He wore square glasses and a kind of plain suit. He had a gentle, easygoing, but mature-sounding voice.

The man asked me why I had left my previous job. I began to list off a whole bunch of complaints about my former boss. The complaints just got worse and worse, and I just got more and more agitated as I listed them. I think the main complaint was that my boss wanted me out of the office, and that he just neglected me and tortured me until I left.

I now noticed that my boss was sitting up in one of the booths off to my left. Red, white, and green light was playing off his face, like a rotating neon sign (or a barber shop pole) was shining on him.

My boss was sliding a grey iPad back into a case. It was almost like the iPad was the thickness of a VCR cassette and that the iPad case was like a VCR cassette sleeve.

I could tell that my boss had heard everything I'd said about him. I was a little ashamed of myself for having spoken bad about him. But I was also glad that he'd heard it. I hoped that it would sink in somehow, and that he'd feel bad.

But I also felt bad for complaining. The business man may have been thinking about hiring me. Now that I'd complained so much, maybe he just thought I wouldn't be a good employee.

My boss was now standing just beside me, on my left. He said, "Hey, I need to talk to you for a second."

I stood up with him and walked toward the center of the restaurant. There was a wide pillar there, around which was a chest-high counter that had a bunch of computer screens (maybe cash registers?) on it. My boss stopped there and spoke to me.

He said "You know, I've been getting the feeling lately that you think I didn't treat you right while you were working for me. And that's just not true. I have a feeling you've been telling people stuff like that. And I really don't want you to."

The way he was saying all this made it sound like he had just come to these conclusions all by himself -- like he hadn't heard me speaking at all just now, and the idea had just popped into his head. I knew he was just trying to impress me by making himself sound insightful enough to guess my moves. But I'd seen him listening to my conversation.

I told my boss, "I saw you sitting there, listening to everything I said! I knew you were there, and that's why I said it! I'm not sorry I said it! You treated me like garbage while I was there!"

(EDIT: I forgot to say that there was also some point where I was even making fun of my boss' voice, doing some kind of high-pitched, flat squealing, with a sheep-like, bleating rhythm. I may have been standing or crouching over my boss while he was laying on the ground. I may even have had his left (?) arm pinned to the ground.)

I was now standing out near the dugout of a baseball field in a park. I was with my boss momentarily, still yelling at him. But my boss eventually changed into my old friend R.

We were actually standing with a group of people, maybe twelve or fifteen of us, all straggled out along a fence that went along from third base to home plate. R and I were standing just beyond third base. At this point, the fence was separated from the diamond by about twenty meters of lawn, and it went up a small slope.

I knew that I had been yelling at R just like I had been yelling at my old boss. But suddenly I felt like R was in control of something in my life. I didn't like R very much, but I felt like I should apologize to him and be nice to him, so that he would stop controlling whatever it was he was controlling in my life, and make things okay for me again.

There had been a little bit of a game going on on the ball field, a game between two semi-competitive teams, maybe teams of little kids. But now the kids were all just milling around the field, clearing off the field.

There was some sort of ceremony that was now being held on home plate. A kind of tall, kind of fat, bald man in a grey suit, white shirt, and reddish tie was presenting somebody to give a speech. The person was another old friend of mine, E.

I only heard one particular phrase from E's speech. I can't remember what it was. But it struck me as attempting to be "folksy," something that would be understood by and sympathized with by all the "common people" around him.

I was kind of sickened by this. When I'd first met E, he was a kind of intellectual guy. He struck me as being a genuinely good person. But the older he got, the more he enjoyed cheating and taunting people. But he still tried to carry off the act of being a good guy. By now, it was all just a horrible charade to anybody who knew him. And his speech was an awful example of it.

Nevertheless, when E finished his speech, I went after him, to go talk to him. I figured that since he'd done something important like give a speech, and be introduced by a man in a suit, that he might be an important guy now. He might be able to help me out in my own difficulties.

E walked over toward the fence, toward a section closer to home plate. I hurried down toward him. I may have reached him and started talking to him, in a really shameful kiss-up kind of way.

Dream #2

I was in some place like a house or a mansion. I was in what looked like a big living room. But I may have been sitting on the left edge of a bed. The room was all made of dark wood. There were no lights on. But a lot of natural light was coming through a doorway, probably a wide doorway into a bathroom.

The bed didn't have any blankets on it, just a white sheet around the mattress and a white sheet over that. The bed may actually have been a hide-a-bed, the kind that pulls out from under the cushions of a couch.

Just off to my right, a guy stood talking. It was as if he were in a commercial, or in some kind of "special features" style mini-documentary for a movie. He, and everything around him, had a gauzy haze, like I was already watching the documentary, and the view from the camera lens, which was in some kind of soft focus.

The guy was some famous director. He looked like he was from the late 1970s or early 1980s. He was kind of skinny, with hair down just below his shoulders. He wore roundish, black-rimmed glasses and some kind of nerdy-looking suit.

The director had a kind of high, but full voice, so everything he said sounded a little pompous, and a little more like singing than talking.

The director was talking about his future plans. But he didn't really seem to have any. He may have mentioned that he'd done a lot of work already, and that he now planned to just spend time with his family, to re-charge a little.

The director said that the thing that ruined a lot of creative people nowadays was letting themselves get too overrun by taking on too many tasks. Their work was cheapened, and the artists would get burnt out. The director said that he was going to try not to let this happen to him.

I stood up and walked toward the bathroom, still hearing the director, as if he were speaking directly into my head. The director may have started talking about the French filmmaker Francois Truffaut's career as an example of burning out. I may have seen some black and white photos of Truffaut, intercut with solid views of lavender color.

I now stood in the bathroom, looking down into the bathtub. I was thinking of taking a shower. But there was a little reddish dirt or grime ringing the side of the tub and dusting up the floor of it.

I was kind of grossed out by this. I wondered how a bathtub could be so poorly taken care of in such a rich house as this. I may have thought I'd clean the tub. But I also may have thought that I just wouldn't take a shower.

Dream #3

I was in a house with my sister. I was in the living room, and my sister was in the kitchen. Both rooms were small, so even though we were in two rooms, it felt like we were hanging out together. The living room had no lights on, but light came into it through the kitchen.

I had been sitting on the couch, probably watching a movie on a TV that stood on an entertainment center just off to my left. But now I stood up and walked into the kitchen. My sister was sitting at the kitchen table, doing something -- maybe writing, or coloring in a coloring book, or doing something on her phone.

At some point my sister may have turned into a blonde girl I knew in high school, though she may have been college-aged.

I told my sister that I was going to take a shower. She said okay. But she then mumbled something about the university I'd attended. I didn't understand what my sister had said. So I asked her to say it again. Again my sister just quickly mumbled something about the university I'd attended.

It was like my sister was giving me news about the university. But it was more like she was sharing her reactions to the news with me. She already expected me to know what the news was. And if I didn't know the news, she would just figure I was pretty stupid.

This was even more the case -- at least in my mind -- because my sister had been told the news by a man that she was attracted to.

This man was maybe ten years older than I. He was big and strong and probably involved in business in some way or another. If this man could outdo me with his knowledge, through my sister, my sister -- I thought -- would feel like she didn't need to respect me, or even treat me nicely, anymore.

So after I'd determined that my sister had really mentioned something about news regarding the university I'd attended, I just said something really non-committal, like, "Yeah, it's pretty crazy, right? I can't believe it," and then walked to the shower.

I walked down the dim hallway and into the dark bathroom. I didn't turn any lights on. I closed the door. I must have stripped out of my clothes, too. I now figured I would look at my phone, try to get whatever news I could about my old university, and, while I was showering, think up some responses to give my sister.

When I turned on the news, though, I found a web page that said that the house of famous actress Barbara Steele had caught fire. Apparently Barbara Steele (an actress famous for her roles in Federico Fellini's 8 1/2 and David Cronenberg's Shivers) nowadays lived in my old university town.

The news article showed a picture of Steele's house. But the photo was from the roof of the house. The roof, actually, took up almost all the photo. And the main focus of the photo seemed to be a small array of solar panels that now seemed to be sinking down through the roof.

There may also have been snow on the roof, and there were a few men on the roof, apparently in the middle of putting out the fire. The house seemed like it was just a regular, suburban house in a regular, suburban neighborhood, not a big mansion one would expect a movie star to live in.

The news article said that Barbara Steele had been in the fire, and that she'd been rushed to the hospital. It seemed to imply that she'd died. But I couldn't really determine whether that was true.

I figured this must have been the article my sister had been talking about. My sister would know how much I loved Barbara Steele. So she probably would have wanted to discuss with me any news she'd heard about her. I started thinking of responses to give my sister about the article.

But now I could hear (and maybe even see, in my mind's eye) my sister and the older man talking with each other. My sister was telling the older man that I seeemed to be going through some sort of difficulty. My sister even seemed to imply that I'd lost or was lacking something, as if the older man might help me get a replacement.

I was a little upset that my sister had told the man all of this, especially since my sister and the older man already seemed to be planning with each other how they could make me feel less intelligent than they were.

But I was also relieved. I knew I was missing something. And maybe the man could help me find it. I figured that once I got out of the shower I'd approach the man very humbly and ask him to help me.

But now I saw a strange image. It was a cartoon, or a comic book. A little girl had knocked on a door (her own front door?). A man, maybe the girl's dad, had answered the door. The man let his wife know that the girl was at the door.

But something about what the man said made me realize that the man and girl were going to have sex. They had probably already had sex in the past. It was like the man and the little girl were in love with each other.