All DJ Entries

April 30, 2003:
More bad dreams last night. I really hate the vibes in this apartment, and this time Abby wasn't there to make me feel better. I mean, when you wake up from a nightmare, the first thing you want to do is hug something soft, particularly something that purrs when you hug it. I don't really remember what they were, only that I woke up worried. I'm not sure what I was worried about in particular, because I can't really remember the dreams. Something about corrupt cops, but I don't know if that was the focus of the dream or just a minor detail.

June 5, 2003:
First, I had this dream with a lot of fighting. And mud. And blood. Lots and lots of blood. When I woke up, I nearly puked. Thank God the details are blurry now.

Then I had a dream about some dark, musty place... like a basement, or a dungeon, or something... there was a lot of broken boards and wood piled up in one corner... there may have been a tiny window, but I don't really remember. I was talking to some dark-haired guy... he had blue eyes. I think they were blue. They may have been green or lightish hazel. The lighting in there was too poor. I don't remember the conversation.

And then, I had this dream that I lived in a house out in the middle of nowhere, or something. I was talking to an older man for a little bit... there were some old ladies dressed up really nicely, I think there was a party or something? Then mom was out on the back porch, she had a very brightly colored parakeet... but our backyard flooded, and the parakeet fell into the water... I rescued it, and somehow revived it with CPR. Then suddenly, all of the water was gone, and the yard was dry, only there was a HUMONGOUS bear coming into the yard, we were afraid it would try and get into the house, and then the dream ended.

Then I started dozing off again, and as I was dozing off I dreamed that I was following 3 little cables, and when I found the source of one a voice said "Oh, dear..." and I woke up.

Morning of August 29, 1970. Saturday.



In a number of repeating similar scenes throughout what seems a very long dreaming period, I find myself somehow arriving on an island very early in the morning before sunrise, each time for “the first time”, though the repetitive nature of the “resets” is not monotonous or of any type of negative effect. I seem incorporeal for the most part, though sometimes standing on the beach in my physical body. Regardless of my mainly unresolved redundant arrivals, I do not become impatient. There is mainly a feeling of perfection, happiness, and timelessness. I have a vague sense of my “mystery girl” (who may be living near the central area of the island) but I do not see her at any point.

Always in the distance no closer than thirty feet away, is a shadow in the form of a man but is also implied to be feline, with cat ears, and I sense it may be half panther and half man. There is no threat or negative emotion. The overall feeling the character is mostly projecting is neutral though seems to imply a beneficial future and even nostalgia (which seems unusual from a child’s point of view but has happened often with me as a boy). It seems like the creature is somehow always walking along the beach at this time on this seemingly isolated island. There are times when I more vividly perceive that this entity is my own shadow somehow cast from where I am standing on the beach (sparsely recurring including in much later dreams).

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Entry and additional notes confirmed and updated Wednesday, 26 October 2016.

• Mainly influenced by the movie “Terror Is a Man” (November 1959) though again, completely lacking in anything either frightening or threatening.
• Additionally influenced by the Money Cat scene from the animated movie “Gay-Purr-ee” (October 1962).
• Additionally influenced from a previous dream from the night of Friday, December 23, 1966 (“Money Cat” minion saves me).
• As of this writing, my last dream to feature an association with the Shadow Cat as the preconscious essence was “Catlike Shadow Creature and Shopping” from Saturday, September 10, 2016, though it has appeared in a number of other dreams, typically in a dream’s final minutes.
• A beach in a dream represents liminal space and in fact is the most powerful setting of this nature. (See off-site link: The Beach, part 3 - Liminal Space.)
• A cat (or in this case, a panther) mainly symbolizes the nocturnal form of the preconscious (especially in this shadow form), where its origin seems to be (even though cats are active during the day).
• Shadow forms in my dreams are often friendly, helpful, and even radiate love, the opposite of what the majority of other people claim.
• This form of the preconscious sometimes seems to be my own shadow, but in this case, I do not consider that a shadow could not appear in this way (for example, with no wall behind it for it to be logically cast upon), the same fallacy that has occurred in a number of other dreams since early childhood.