Recent DJ Posts

Talking to my mother
I was talking to my mother, possibly about a vacuum cleaner.

Ghost leviathans: the return
My father is watching a video about Subnautica on the living room TV. Once it ends, he clicks on a second video, and the title alarms me to the fact that it might be about ghost leviathans. He starts by flying from the sky down to the water, like with the freecam command. Then he's playing normally and swimming at the top with a seaglide. Then he swims down and I repeatedly tell my father to pause since I with my thallassophobia don't quite enjoy it. He pauses it in the last second before a ghost leviathan would've appeared.

Buying dogs
I am in a supermarket with my mother, and we see a basket of pugs being sold. We decide to buy them. Then we are at home, which is apparently a farm, built in a weird area right in the middle of the border of 4 or more biomes. There also seem to be some strange temporal and general anomalies in reality. Then I am going to sleep, and on my way, I see that two of the pugs have lied down together on my mother's legs, and I wonder if that can even be comfortable. It also seems we just recently moved, since I felt a bit uncomfortable sleeping there.

The next day, I see an old woman sitting on a clearly very old and abandoned swing, on a moderately large, totally overgrown field of grass. There might have also been a seesaw made of solid wood, which has by now totally rotten. I don't know what happened in between, but now she's awake. She tells me she's supposed to have been in a coma for 20 years, and that I apparently woke her up 10 years too early. I tell her that I'll put her back in a coma and that it will feel like only 5 seconds have passed, and so I do that.

15th May 2021

Fragment:

Whistling but wearing my work mask? Comes out as normal in waking life, kind of weak, since I don't really know how to whistle.

(recalled this after trying to whistle while making food)

16th May 2021

Fragment:

Part of a long dream. I'm entering a flat and need to get something I or someone else left there? There's plenty of furniture and stuff, it feels complete, if a bit dark or dingy; a cool ambient light? I enter a room and there's a bed, not realising that there's someone laying in it.

I reach for whatever I'm here for. An old woman sits up quickly on the right side of the bed, which is for a couple. She starts sort of shouting with some kind of desperation and sadness in her voice, shouting at me things like how she wants to be left alone and how she wants me to leave. I hesitate, not saying anything back, and eventually do leave.

I return at some point later in the dream and essentially the same thing happens, only with slight differences, such as things said.

Vaguely recall being in an outdoor area, I talk to someone who's close to me. We talk about the old woman. There's a full car park? I remember taller than average vehicles, maybe like caravans more than lorries.

At another point I am in the stairwell of my old home. Something feels distorted but it seems about right otherwise. It's bright, but from the lights, not sunlight. There's something about a neighbour, something about food? Indirect interaction.

Fragment:

I'm messaging MoonageDaydream here on the DV forums, telling her something from when I was about 15 or so?

---

Notes:

- At a first guess, the old woman is a direct representation of a certain aspect of myself that feels exactly as she did. Her emotions felt clear in the dream, though my dreaming self as a character did not react so much that I can recall.
-- The old woman's hairstyle was somewhat like my paternal grandmother, but I do not recall who her face might have resembled.

- Whistling is something I've tried to do for many years, everyone in my family can whistle and has done so since I was a kid but I only learned to do it a little bit very recently, the last three or four years.
-- Incidentally, when is it not very recently? Five years, six, seven?

- I had no recall at all of my surroundings in the whistling fragment, as if my visual focus did not go past my own face, in some way.

- Messaging Moonage probably came from recent interactions, but I don't know what could be particularly relevant to discuss from when I was 15.

I'm walking into a big store of some kind. The boss is in the front and one of his workers is holding in a pillow. He hits someone we walk by with the pillow and the person faints. We walk to the cashier, an old man with white hair, and the worker hits him with the pillow too. The cashier falls to the floor and his wife (?), an elderly woman with gray hair, comes running and takes care of him. The two evil persons leave and I'm left with the woman and unconscious man. I ask the woman if there is anything I can do in order to repay for what my boss did. At first it seems as she doesn't have any work to give me and I am relieved but she finds something I can do after a while. She gives me a scraping tool and show me the walls. They look pretty old and have a lot of dry white paint shattered over them. I take the scrape and try to remove the paint but it is stuck. I inspect the wall and notice that it is made out of 8 cm wide wood planks. The woman is inspecting me and gives me some piece of advide. Suddenly it goes a lot better and I'm able to remove a lot of paint fast. She is grateful.

Notes: This was the same work I did on our other house the summer last year.

Monday Night, 1/25/21

I was basically Sam Winchester from Supernatural. I was returning from a mission with a group of fellow hunters where we'd had to translate between various languages. I walked up to a linguist guy and asked, "Do we ever translate messages from the 21st language over the phone?" (I had knowledge from the dream the the 21st and "final" language was demonic and therefore forbidden, with few people who could translate it, but we needed it nonetheless.)

"Yes, we have to sometimes." The linguist told me.

"Right." I realized our plans and knowledge were probably being constantly intercepted, which would explain a lot about our recent troubles. I quickly cooked up a scheme. "Alright, we're going to steal the book from the source so we don't have to pass information over the phones anymore. Come on." I grabbed the linguist by the arm and led him down a corridor. The section of floor we were standing on was actually an elevator, which transported us rapidly below ground.

"Wait, where exactly are we going?" The linguist asked with great confusion.

"Just popping over to hell real quick. Don't worry, I do it all the time."

"What!" The elevator reached the bottom and opened up into a series of corridors. "I didn't sign up for this..." The linguist complained but I shushed him. The place looked more like the version from Charmed than Supernatural. I scurried down a corridor, apparently knowing my way around very well, and the linguist trailed reluctantly behind me. I came to what looked like a dead end. I put my hand on the wall and it opened to the central chamber with the book. Unexpectedly, the room was packed full of bad guys, as they were in the middle of a major ritual. Oops. I ran back down the corridors pushing the poor linguist back in the other direction.

We made it back to the elevator, which took us back to ground level. "Split up!" I told the linguist, "They'll recognize me but they haven't seen you yet." I ran off to the left while he ran right. I made my way down a long hallway and then went outside. Now I could see that we'd been inside a large, black castle. The kind you'd expect villains to live in, with intimidating Gothic arches and lots of spires.


I morphed into a young boy and clambered over the rocks surrounding the castle. In front of me was the sea, stretching out into the foggy horizon. I found myself climbing on the Statue of Liberty... or perhaps a replica of it, since it wasn't to scale. It looked like it had seen better days but it was more or less intact. I worried that I would be seen and hoped the bad guys couldn't look everywhere at once. I scaled down to the base of the statue, where I discovered that mermaids were carved into the green stone. They looked like they were just part of the statue but I knew from my dream memories that they were real. "Hey, remember me from years ago?" I asked one of the mermaids. No response. They appeared to be sleeping. Good. I recalled a group of allies warning me that when these mermaids smelled blood in or near the water, they could attack viciously. Is there any blood around here? I wondered nervously. It was late in the evening and I was crouching on the shady side of the statue, right next to the water and a sleeping mermaid. I couldn't see very clearly. I pulled out my phone, looking for the flashlight app. It took a while to turn it on since droplets of water kept getting on the screen. I was eventually able to confirm that there was no blood, however.

Relieved, I turned the light off and looked back out toward the sea, wondering about my next move. My phone morphed into a wizard's wand. Maybe I could use the flying spell? How's that work again? Then I recalled an in-dream memory of my "magic mentor" laughing and saying, "The so called flying spell is completely useless! It's a joke, really. If you want to fly, what you really need is a dragon." Oh, right. But where would I get a dragon? I happened to know that the bad guys had stolen all the dragons in the country and were keeping them locked up deep underground. However, there is one dragon I could get to. I looked back to the castle and craned my neck to see a large black dragon chained to the highest spire of the castle. This was, apparently, the personal dragon of the head bad guy, aka "the Night King". That is, he was magically bonded with the dragon, allowing him to command it.


At some point I morphed again to resemble my waking self. Somehow I managed to scale all the way up to where the dragon was located. I crept around to the side of the dragon at first, trying not to be noticed by it just yet so I wouldn't get fried. "What are you doing here?" The dragon asked telepathically.

"Getting you out of here." I said quietly and unhooked the chain around its neck. The dragon grunted in response, seeming disinterested. Dream logic said I would have to ride the dragon (without a saddle I might add) and that the only way to accomplish this, since I wasn't bonded with it, was to command it to fly first and then jump onto its back while it was in mid air. "Vlar!" I shouted, and the dragon spread its wings and launched itself into the air. I flung myself from the spire, flailing wildly in midair for a while before just barely landing on the dragon. This seemed to destabilize it for a few moments, but I hoped that as a relatively smaller woman the dragon would have an easier time carrying me than the Night King. Sure enough, the dragon's flight smoothed out soon after.

We were traveling in the opposite direction of the sea. I only had minimal steering control of the dragon, who informed me his name was Rijik. He was flying close to the ground and we were narrowly missing obstacles. I hope he accounts for the trees that could knock me off. I thought.

"Trees can't hurt us at the speed we're going!" Rijik replied, "They're like bugs in the wind."

Easy for you to say. You've got armored scales. And you're a dragon.

Rijik laughed but flew a little higher. "It's these pillars you should be more worried about." Sure enough, we narrowly avoided a series of tall, white pillars. By this point I suspected the dragon was purposefully messing with me. "Doesn't it feel liberating to have that castle so far behind you, a tiny speck in the distance?"

I glanced back at the castle. It did look a bit smaller, but we'd only escaped about 30 seconds ago and it seemed a little soon to be celebrating already. I would like for it to be much further behind us and much tinier looking.


After traveling a while in silence, I was about to suggest we fly up as high as possible, enough to get some cloud cover so we wouldn't be seen by any potential pursuers. However, I noticed a strange looking tree out in the middle of an otherwise empty field. It was dead and it had strange branches that curved out and then straight upwards like many fingers reaching towards the sky. In the center of this circle of branches was a big hollow with stuff piled inside it. "That's the Knob Tree." Rijik said.

"The what? Uh, that sounds kind of..."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"It's called that because of all the doorknobs."

"Oh right. Of course." Upon closer inspection I could see that the stuff inside the tree was, indeed, a pile of many doorknobs.



Up ahead, there was a gigantic palace in ruins. It looked as though it had been sliced vertically in half such that all the interior rooms were exposed, on every floor. Despite its condition, it loomed over us and gave me an uneasy feeling. It must have been nearly twice as tall as the black castle we had fled. It was built upon a mountain of rock, which functioned like a wall that even the dragon would have a hard time clearing.

A narration began, describing an event that had occurred long ago. Decades ago? Centuries? The Narrator said that the palace had been inhabited by an evil ruler. One man had, little by little, betrayed his own people in an attempt to appease this ruler. Each time, the man had a chance to redeem himself by recognizing how far he'd strayed from his moral compass, but each time he only sank deeper into self delusion. Finally, the man "fell beyond saving" (presumably in a spiritual or moral sense), and his last betrayal led to horrific atrocities. All the remaining people banded together and ultimately sacrificed themselves in order to ensure the evil could not persist any longer. They broke down every door to every room and placed the doorknobs of each door of the palace into the tree. I glanced back at the dead tree in the field and saw a sort of time lapse animation of the tree's hollow going from being empty to being piled high with so many doorknobs that they fell to the ground around it.

By this point Rijik had to fly almost vertically upward because we were so close to the palace. I got a closer look at what was inside the faded and crumbling interior. I was horrified to see that each room contained one or more pictures of smiling children, some so many that they were stacked on top of each other. Sometimes there was a photo of a parent next to them. In a few places there were cubbies containing small caskets. I realized the whole place was like a cross between a war museum and a mausoleum. I could see debris, leaves, and tiny spiders strewn about the floors and I wondered who had set all this up, how long ago, and whether it was still being maintained.


At last Rijik and I reached the top of the palace, but there was only more mountain and no clear way over to the other side. Climbing down to the roof, I saw an old woman. I realized she had been the one narrating the story. "Quickly, through here!" She said, revealing a hole in the rock covered by a curtain of vines. "They've already opened a wormhole to get to you." Great, wormholes? I thought, Now they'll be able to get to us just by knowing where to look and we won't be able to simply outrun them. So much for putting as much distance as possible between us. "There is one location that's safe from them," The old woman continued, "But the only way to get there is via a specific bus. There's a bus stop right down there." She pointed. "The next bus leaves in 3 hours."

I lay flat on my stomach and rolled through the hole in the wall, barely able to fit. I lost my grip and fell but luckily the drop wasn't far on this side of the palace wall. I could actually see the wormhole nearby (kind of like the ones from Stargate but without the gate) and I hoped I hadn't been seen already. Rijik must have found a way over the wall because I saw him fly past. The bus stop was tiny, and there was nothing at all next to it except for a little bush. Three hours waiting at a bus stop with the bad guys here any second? How can this work? I considered taking Rijik off in a random direction to kill some time and try to shake the tail, then circling back in time to catch the bus, but then I decided it would only increase our chances of being seen. We'd have to find a place to hide, much as I disliked the idea. I crouched behind the bush and started digging with my hands in the dirt, hoping to find a secret passageway or something. It seemed unlikely so I gave up shortly after.

I scanned my surroundings for other options. The coast looked clear, so I entered a random dark garage, as one does. A small metal case was sitting on the floor. Intel! I thought, and scooped up the case with delight. Suddenly light shone in from an opened door and two men in suits walked in. They looked kind of like Yakuza. "Hunters are so stupid." One of them said, laughing. "They're so good at picking up our little 'gifts' but not so good at finding anything of actual value." I'd be offended, but he's kind of right. We never questioned the conveniently located cases of intel. Darn.

Looking past the Yakuza guys I saw that Rijik had been captured. He was being forced to battle a red dragon in an outdoor arena. I assumed other dragons were in the area as well. The Night King must have brought them all here. I started hatching a plot to try to break them free and escape again, myself, in the process. Of course, my options were limited at the moment. Perhaps I could get close to the arena and convince Rijik to turn on the Night King despite the magic bond and then help free the other dragons? Rijik knew me a little now, after all, and the Night King had been abusive. I didn't know enough about dragons to know if that even had a chance of working, but it was my best shot. Unfortunately I woke up before I could try saving the dragons.

Kind of a single long dream, but some bits are missing.

---

Dream:

The first part of the dream I can remember was at a somewhat accurate layout of the cul-de-sac in front of my old home. I was sitting in the driver seat of a car, which I think was my dad's car, as some of the interior felt familiar. But I had the window fully down and was sort of resting my arms against it and looking out. It was a sunny day, probably past 3PM but not sure what season. First half of the year, I think.

Where my building door was supposed to be was actually this entrance into some sort of church, but not a church, as there was a machine there like a manually operated computer, and there was a group of people running it. I think I had been in there previously in the dream, or I just "saw" this somehow. But then there was an oddity about this machine, it could be switched off by literally anyone who walked past it, as there was a button labelled "STOP" and another "EMERGENCY STOP". They both did the exact same thing. I think I remember I had asked someone why, and they couldn't explain it to me.

Then, while I'm in the car, some black guys show up. I realise better what position the car was in, sort of blocking in the entrance of the cul-de-sac a bit. These guys smile at me, I smile back, but I immediately know that they are there for something. They sort of huddle up around one side of the car, sort of hiding from view from where the machine place was. They look at me worried and I say nothing, quietly watching with some amusement, I'm curious what they have planned.

This one guy stops trying to hide and just walks straight up to the place. I can see that he hits that stop button out of amusement for himself and the people running the machine get annoyed and make audible grunts, but seemingly don't even pay attention to the guy. I don't remember what else he did in there, but he comes back near the car and he has this piece of jewellery, I can't remember exactly what, but somehow I immediately know it's sort of stolen or something.

Then a different guy gets up and goes in and a bit later comes out with something similar. I think this happens a couple more times and I remember the last piece of jewellery, a silver necklace. It reminds me of a necklace H has, but only the chain was similar.

I remember getting into some small talk with the guys and then saying I had to go. I think I drive away and they disband, but I don't remember how it transitions into the next part exactly. But I remember my thoughts stayed on the "stolen items" for a bit.

Then I'm walking down an unknown dream park with two people. One of them is H's sister (A), but I'm not sure who the other person is, some guy, around my age, but a friend of mine, not A's friend.

It's night time and there is plenty of green vegetation and everything's slightly wet. Sprinklers had been on, as it isn't raining and I don't get the impression it had been. There are paths through this hilly park and the path we're on takes sort of long curves around some well mowed lawn-like fields, well lit by strong cool lights.

As we're walking this path on the left-hand side there's a hedge going all the way along the curve and on the right-hand side there's this man on a short two-sided ladder. I don't look up to see what he's doing, but all of a sudden sparks and arcs of electricity go everywhere. Somehow I'm not surprised or worried, and neither is anyone else. Moments after I'd walked past, I pause, looking back. A is sort of looking closely at the ladder and some cables, which I somehow think of as being a bit foolish considering the electricity, so I think I motion for her to carry on.

We arrive somewhere and there's some kind of transition. I lose any awareness of A and the mystery friend.

I'm now at a place that closely resembles my high school, or college. But the lights are sort of dim and moody. It was still night outside. All of a sudden I find myself in the middle of a group of random people, of all ages really. And then I'm lying down, between this girl my age on the left and this old woman on the right. They're both lying down too but sort of sitting. There's a cover over my legs and this girl on the left.

People are mostly just idling around and there are some paintings on the walls. I look closely at some, finding myself annoyed that I know some of them and that they've been there for an eternity, half thinking to myself "why can't one of mine be there?". The thought passes quickly and I look at another painting that catches my attention and I quite like. Somehow this makes many other people look at it too and start discussing it.

My attention fades away from it and this girl on my left starts touching my private areas; I don't realise it's her doing it at first. I realise that both me and her didn't have pants or underwear on. For a moment I wonder if H was touching me in waking reality but the thought doesn't go past being somewhat automatic. I enjoy her touch but start to wonder why she's touching me like this. I assume that she wants the same so I move one of my hands to touch her in the same areas and this seems to completely surprise her, despite whatever pleasure she felt. I get the impression she is embarrassed now and she sort of gets up and dresses herself and leaves.

The old woman on the right makes some comments, the last bit of which I vaguely remember. "It's not easy making money that way, you know." the old woman says. I reply: "No, I didn't think so either."

Then I am left with some lingering thoughts of why she would try to make money in such a way, and why she left, but the rest of my dream recall sort of ends here.

---

Notes:

• In the third and final part of the dream, there was a fair bit of conversation between everyone and myself and other dream characters, but as I try to recall the dream I can only mostly remember silence.
• The group of black guys in the first part of the dream were nobody I recognised, though they reminded me of friends I used to have when I was younger. I have had a few recurring appearances of those groups of friends and I felt it was somewhat familiar, especially because of the dream's location, which is where they typically appear in my dreams.
• I think the jewellery was actually coming from some sort of replicating machine in the same place as the manually-run computer thing, but my memory of it is extremely vague.
• The stone hall where that computer thing was, really wasn't very different from the actual entrance hall of my old building. It was sort of just super elongated and wider.
• I have no idea now who the friend was with me and A. I don't recognise the face and seems to just be a generic construct of "male friend".
• The girl touching me in the final part of the dream didn't tell me her name and somehow in the dream I felt the expectation that she would have done, especially before leaving. Although I remember her hair as being somewhat long and curly and dark, I got the impression there was something about her that was "redhead" or that the word "red" was somehow associated with her as a character.
• The old woman in the same part had some sort of old-style blue dress, and reminded me a bit of a cartoon character in some way. Her hair was a perfect white and tied up in a sort of bun. What little I can remember of her face is that she looked youthful for how old it sounded like she was.
• The appearance of both these sort of contrasting female figures is not without some personal meaning to me; it's the sort of thing I sometimes wonder about, especially if I'm working on some art piece involving nude human figure- the old woman was young like us at some point and so wasn't at all phased by what was happening. I often wonder how I will see this type of situation when I'm much older myself, or how I'll feel about it.
• Nearly forgot to add this note: The odd mood lighting (sort of an orange-y red/purple) in the last part of the dream was incredibly similar to that of another strange dream I had some time back. I can't remember if I did have any thoughts about it during the dream.

Morning of October 17, 2018. Wednesday.

Dream #: 18,930-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min. Readability score: 51.



My dream unfolds with the same autosymbolic processes and related components in the same order towards waking as they have on a day-to-day basis for over fifty years, though as is usually the case, in an intriguingly different manner.

---

Act One: The non-lucid creation of my vestibular system simulacrum to correlate the illusory physicality of the dream state at the precursory level.

An old woman, modeled after Sally Fergus (of the television series “Dirty Sally”) travels through the Old West. The setting is a variation of the “Gunsmoke” (television series) set. She has a natural ability to mimic the sound of a chicken perfectly. She casually walks through town, calling all the chickens to aid her in robbing a bank. She is cheerful and confident.

Act Two: My vestibular system simulacrum is closer to viable RAS mediation and the association with chickens not being capable of sustained flight is transmuted into a paper airplane event.

The old woman wants to call upon other bandits to help her in future escapades. She folds dollar bills into paper airplanes, writes messages on them with details for potential meetings, and throws them into taverns where possible candidates might be sitting. She also taunts the sheriff by flinging paper airplanes (again, made of folded dollar bills) to his desk at times. Sarcastic messages about his ineptitude are on them. (In this case, the precursory RAS simulacrum - the sheriff - is divided from the vestibular system simulacrum, which is not always the rule. It seems dependent on both ultradian rhythm and my level of dream self awareness, though ultimately it is about unification and reestablishing consciousness.)

Act Three: The emerging consciousness cue occurs by way of the gathering coins factor. (This was sometimes used deliberately at a liminal or lucid level from early childhood, but water reinduction is far more common for me as well as for Zsuzsanna.) Additionally, there is the final subliminal association and revelation of the real physical body being “hidden” within a bed sheet from the non-lucid dream self. That has been the exit point process of many dreams since childhood.

The old woman is gathering her men near a wagon to help her move a big rolled-up carpet. The cowboys and bandits decide to unroll it. As they do, more and more coins are visible. They marvel at the hundreds of beautiful coins. I slowly wake.

---

Since early childhood, I have remained perplexed over telepathic threads that weave themselves into the dreaming processes. In this case, there are two sources. One, Zsuzsanna had read a story (from a library book I had not seen) to our children about messages sent via paper airplanes. Two, Zsuzsanna had been in a conversation with her sister about an older woman making money with her chickens, though by selling the eggs. I had no precursory idea or cue from either event. These literal transpersonal crossovers into what is otherwise inducing, dreaming, and waking autosymbolism remains an enigma. We experience it all the time. Many others do not.

---

Aug 23 2018

Woke up at 3:30 am, remember bits of a long NL. I was a female (possibly jewish?) in some sort of relationship/society/sisterhood. My best friend or leader was dismissing me from the group sternly but also still loves me and was sad to see me go. I remember the words "Is it possible to always be a mama bear?" with no context (hey -- they made sense then). I also remember a DC from earlier in the dream that looked like an old (current) Seinfeld with white hair. I think I was returning to my family.

Was moderately relaxed but again had some trouble getting back to sleep*. Got up and went to the bathroom, then came back. Figured since I still couldn't get to sleep I would try to relax and WILD. No success after some time (although I had some pretty great hypnagogic imagery), so I SSILD'd and laid on my side**.

I eventually got to sleep about 45 minutes or an hour after waking. I didn't notice it, but my neck was strained because of the pillow's position. I then had a series of FA's where I would wake up in my bed and talk/move around, but my fiance would angrily tell me to go to sleep each time because she had work in the morning. Between the second and third FA, I woke up briefly and realized was happening. I resolved that if it happened again, I would take advantage of it.

Success! The next time I FA'd, I saw apple peelings on the bed, and went downstairs to get some apple juice from the fridge, and I thought about tryptophan and realized I was dreaming! I didn't immediately look at my hands and clarify the situation, but I was able to stumble through the dark dream living room (my movement felt somewhat staggering). There was a terrifying old (demon?) woman's face on the couch, so partly out of fear I decided to leave this dream. I pressed my dream head down into the "pillow" to change dream scenes and vaguely thought of a giant tree as a new destination.

I think that when I used this technique (pressing head back into pillow), I somehow became more conscious of my WL body and realized I was lying on my side with my neck strained and my left eye being pressed in by the pillow. As the new dream scene materialized, It came to me in portrait format instead of landscape, if you can imagine that -- and it was letterboxed (black bars on the left and right). This effect worked so well because I could only see out of my right "dream eye", so I didn't have the advantage of binocular vision to "3D it away". Because of my awareness of my neck strain, I also couldn't move my head at all, and the only thing I could control was zooming my vision in and out.

The dream scene wasn't a giant tree, but rather another, smaller version of the previous living room, only bright this time (with daylight coming in through the window and the indoor lights on). There was no one in the room. I understood that it went back some ways behind me and was dark that way. The couch was similar to my childhood couch (old and scratchy, had diagonal woven textiles, like thick yarn) but was grey instead of tan. There were some objects strewn about the couch. As I zoomed in closer, objects would "pop" out of existence, sort of the opposite effect of the Object Fade setting in video games; when I zoomed out, they would return. There was a largeish button, a cylindrical something, a box, and some other miscellaneous vague items.

I should have tried to change dream scenes again, but I think that would have been difficult considering I probably would have had to press left instead of back to fall into the pillow, and who knows if that would have worked. The dream faded very slowly and I probably could have held onto it longer.

Later I had another FA but failed to convert it. When I awoke I was feeling more relaxed and thought I'd casually try to WILD for a bit again. It was nice because I could feel the waves of vibration flow over me. I was doing LaBerge's "1. I'm dreaming. 2. I'm dreaming. 3. ..." method, trying to be a passive observer and let the dream take me in. Had some very vivid HI again and let it play out before me. I think I got partway there, because I remember my HI started integrating into moving imagery, then mini dream scenes, then almost a full dream scene. At the height of it, I was a point in space rotating around a stadium that looked like a giant thimble. I think I was fully aware, enough to at least call it a semi-lucid, but I don't think it was a dream as much as imagery; it didn't feel dreamlike, and I didn't feel as if I was really "in it" as much as I was just "seeing it".

Later in the night I had some more FAs and in some of them I was semi-lucid but not fully there. Once I was trying to WILD again, but got interrupted by a sudden and powerful fear of an intruder.

Overall, a pretty good night! I'm intereseted to know if anyone else has had this kind of "locked view" experience in their dreams, lucid or otherwise.



*I'm not sure why this is happening lately (waking up earlier and can't get back to sleep); I always considered myself a heavy sleeper and never have trouble getting to bed. Also, I haven't been setting alarms or autosuggestions to do WBTB, I think just possibly raised nighttime awareness after meditation is causing small disturbances to wake me. Any advice appreciated.

**I tend to lie on my back most of the time, which helps with vivid dreams and recall, but seems to be causing problems with getting to sleep and staying asleep if I'm not already tired from the day. It also makes me hyperaware of early morning hunger.

***Also just wanted to note that I've been abstaining from my nighttime tea (it makes me drowsy on weekday mornings) and any supplements (I sometimes use melatonin and/or valerian), but have been drinking half a glass of apple juice each night 30ish minutes before bed. Luckily I

Fragment 1: A baby duck is being attacked by a turtle in a small pond. I freak out and hurry to save the duck. I grab it in my hands and hold it to my chest. The turtle disappears and then random people tell me that it's probably ok to put the baby duck back in the water. I'm too afraid that the turtle will come back though, so I try to think of something to do, like calling a shelter or something.

Fragment 2: I'm outside on a beach. There's tons of people and family members. Someone comes up to me and says that I should meet my other Grandmother. I stare at the person, confused because I don't have another one. But they insist that I do and say that she'll speak to me and like me because of what I did. I walk up to the woman. She's very old and sitting in a rocking chair. I get down on my knees in front of her and she smiles at me, asking me if I'm Melissa. I smile back and say yes. She talks and questions me about what I did.

I'm standing on a large driveway. An older woman, maybe 50 years old, turns to me and says, "Here are your presents!". I look further up the driveway and there are a bunch of used pieces of furniture. There's tables, chairs, bookcases, etc. I can't tell if I'm happy about it or not.

I'm in a school. The walls are made of old stones with long, narrow windows; it's surrounded with pine trees, and it feels like it was a monastery before being converted to a school. I wander a little in it, going up some stairs and getting highter and highter. I reach a balcony overlooking the forest. Under it I can see the path going up to the school, running alongside a small stream separating it from the pine forest. On this balcony is a old woman. She walks in my face and start talking gibberish, cornering me to the edge of the balcony. I jump, extending my arms, and when I'm over the stream and almost on the floor my body change and I can flap my wings to land safely. In the water reflexion I can see that I was a bird of prey, a kind of hawk with the coloring of a snowy owl. I look up to the pines; they seems to go on forever in the sky, touching the grey clouds.

First dream

I was in my room. I wanted to watch porn, but there was a weird, old woman in the room. I thought how to get rid of her, and suddenly she just escaped. I started browsing the web, but couldn't find anything interesting.

Second dream

It was in the underground city. It was made of sectors, one for some kind of humanoidal creatures, second for humans, and another for very rich humans. There were girls from the rich sector, who were laughing from my younger sisters music stand. I've fended them off, and moved into the rich sector, only to be attacked by a guard. There was a dog walking there, I shouted Attack! and the dog bitten the guards hand off. I did the same with the second guard. Suddenly in our sector a thief has been catched. We divulged information about rich sector, and made an assault. We've lost, most of my shoots from pistols missed, and we had to regroup.

I was in the street on the way to my room. Calamba. I see Lucy Heartfilia there. We stopped by a store to buy ice cream. I arrived in my room in the apartment. There's a ghost? An old woman on the 2nd floor asked who was downstairs. I told her (or did she ask me?) it was Charle.

This was another really short lucid.

I was on top of a building with a bag of money, but I was thinking in my head, "What if someone had a bag of money and--." It was a stereo typical,drawn, two-dimensional bag with a money sign on it." The bag was drawn.

Then I saw The Greatest American Hero on top of the building with me, but his hair was a little flat, and he looked a little gay, so I called him the Gayest American Hero, and realized I was dreaming. Realizing I was dreaming, I thought I would trick The Gayest American Hero. I "fell" off the building with my bag of money, but I fell a foot and then hovered, while the Gayest American Hero flew down expecting me to fall.

I then flew back up, but typical of me, at the top of the building, I needed to help myself with physical force.

~

I had another dream where I saw an old woman who was so old that her skin was gone and she had a layer of clear skin. Her eyes were big like eyes from a sponge bob cartoon.

I had a ball with gell and little hard, clear tear-drop shaped plasticy things. I squeezed the ball and one of the plastic things came out and landed on the old lady's leg. She was a bit disturbed, so I apologized and pulled it off of her a bit embarrassed with myself.

A subdivision of sorts. There's a race of robots or something that became human, and some turned into animals. some are talking about losing pride for turning into animals, but some think that humans are not any better than animals. There are those who look at the mortal humans as dangerous or something to be wiped out.

The human leader of the particular subdivision is a strong, old woman who gives wise counsel. The robot-turned-humans wanted a place to live in, and was thinking of eliminating the humans there. The wise old woman appeared and suggested they extend the subdivision, so it will benefit all. They will have to restructure, which means a lot of people, including the old woman, will be displaced, but they'll make temporary shelters until the renovations are complete.

NOTE: Tibetan Meditation

An unknown place. Church nearby. Muddy. Path. Rained. The color of a rainy day. Travel. Quezon? QC? Left some stuff behind. Had to hurry and get them. CLothes, socks, bags. FOrest. Next stop. Too many. Chase. Shooting down. Plane helicopter.
Machine gun shooting. A huge tank-like thing. Arnold Schaawarngger. Banahaw path. Chase. Old woman. Corridor. Small town. Houses. Room. Small martial art master. Arnold surrendered.

Home. Cousins in Manila. Visited. A rich aunt and uncle. Incest. Polyamorous husband. Enter through the window. Pool. People swimming. Red shorts. I'm out on the living room. They're in my room, the guests. A key in the pool. A ? movie. Taft ave.