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Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

I'm in a big room with many shelves. I bake some cakes and eat them. I look at one of the shelves and there are a lot of cakes and food on it. I want to eat it but then I think about how the food is plastic so I can't eat it. The children who were here before me made the fake food as a memory for them.

Notes: My last DJ entry was about plastic candy. Now it's about plastic food. We had a lot of cookies at home two days ago. Little Daniel ended up eating almost 10 of them.

I'm with my girlfriend and we walk home to her. We talk and she wants to break up. I am very sad and go outside her apartment building. To the right there is a homeless man that I go to. There are two other kids there as well. I think they joined the homeless man the same time I did. He is to teach us how to survive without a home or money. First he teaches us how to see the difference between two animals that you can eat. He points at a hedgehog and tells us to remove the pointy sticks from its back. We do so and it's very easy. The hedgehog doesn't seem to bother. After all the sticks are gone it's a furry rat instead. The old man comes to us and it seems as tough he is trying to be bitten by one of the hedgehogs. The hedgehog bites him and he says to us that this is how you can easily fix your wound from a hedgehog. He takes the fur just above the hedgehog's nose and rips it of. The hedgehog starts to bleed there. The poor man takes the fur over his wound and starts to rub the fur against it. He says it's important to rub it against the right way. We spend time with him but later on I am alone. There is snow and I lie next to the apartment house. It is cold and I just want to disappear. I fall asleep and when I wake up I can't feel my body because of the cold. There is a lot of snow over me. I see my ex girlfriend who dumped me and her family. She isn't angry with me. They carry me inside the house and warm me up.

Notes: I dreamt about being poor and walking to a poor man some nights ago. I have just finished reading Rich Dad Poor Dad IRL and thought a lot over the things they taught. They discuss the big gap between the poor and rich in the USA and how some people are extremely poor.

I'm in a jacuzzi with another person.

Notes: I'm not sure if I just thought about it or actually dreamt it.

The incredibles are walking home. The fast boy is shot by a villain in the head and there is a lot of blood. I think to myself that it seems weird that a child's movie would have this kind of violence. The fast boy isn't actually dead but faked it. The fast boy puts his hand in the villain's mouth and pretend that he has a gun and moves his hand all around in the villain's mouth really fast. The invisible girl is also there but she isn't invisible. The villain resists and is able to break free from the fast boy.

Notes: I didn't remember this dream until I had written down the other three dreams.

I'm not sure how many times I went back into this dream but it was a whole lot. I did it for a good 3-4 hrs. Chaining back into the same dream so many times was something I used to do but not lately... Even though it was a dark dream scene it was a relief to know I hadn't forgotten how to do this all together as I had feared.... There were all kinds of races of people which made me smile. But unfortunately we were living in the rubble of a city that was ravaged after war. People were living in burnt out apartments & townhouses. Warehouses & lean two's. Living in poverty where there was only water & food where you could find it. No officials or police. Violence with no accountability. Strangely enough I saw no guns which I was looking for. There were little kids sitting on a stoop all disheveled & sad. A woman selling her goods of sorts. She had some kind of fuse & was attaching it to some kind of M80 looking thing that you see on the 4th of July. I know because we buy them, lol. I watched her for a long time. I kept wincing waiting for it to blow up & I was really nervous because I was really never sure what it was. Like I was saying she was trying to attach a fuse to a M80 & would light it! It looked like she was showing them how much time it would take for the fuse to burn & then she would pinch it & make it snuff out. She did this so many times. One of the times I woke up was actually by Meesha & I just brushed her off & dove back into my dream. I could have done many other things in this state but lucid dreaming must be first about myself. Fun is secondary. This was so revealing about what I see in our world today & my fears of what the US will become. There were children running all around this woman & I feared the worst. I had such a drive to find what hidden meanings I could from this dream state. Finally one child was not so fortunate when she didn't snuff it in time. This again was one of the times I woke up & fell right back into my dream state to do what I would in real life & try to help the child. I frequently say that in my dreams I have a serious drive to stay true to my morals so this reaction was not uncommon for me. I could easily just shifted gears but what good would that do? Yes I could go off & change the scene but how often do you get to help others in real life up close in personal. I always say if I hit the lottery I would help ppl not give to organizations who funnel money that never sees its real way to help someone. Anyway, I looked for help for the child but there was none of course. I went to an apartment nearby & finally a man took the child from me. I hadn't seen a single person that I knew through all of this which is not typical for me. But I no sooner have this fleeting thought & I see my first husband & I run up to him & hug him because I have been alone all of this time. He would not be my top choice to be stuck w/ during end times for sure but I do know he would protect me strangely enough. I then look to my left & there is a man handing out cotton candy out of a machine. It looked like a popcorn machine w/ an overlarge opening that looked like where gum comes out of a gumball machine. At this point I know what this all means, believe it or not. I now hear Meesha IRL meowing weird so I get up to see what's going on.....

I just woke up from a dream where I had to sift through piles of trash looking for medical trash (bloody bandages, amputated body parts etc.) so I could then take that found trash and put it in the “proper” trash piles. Also something about lots of poor and destitute people living in underground parking garages that had no working lights.

There's two women walking through a city. The taller and darker one says to the other, now that the two of them are on their 18th world, she's beginning to see the appeal of raising them (worlds, that is).

The short one finds this funny timing since they're currently walking through an area suffering severe poverty and in the middle of a recession. She says something sarcastic along the lines of oh joy, we get to watch people scrimp and save and hoard their resources, how very exciting.

The tall one acknowledges that sure, that's not very interesting to watch, but sooner or later the herd will thin out. And she likes the gambling ones with hopes for the future.

The short one asks if she'd like to make a bet herself. The tall one is delighted and instantly agrees, she's very excited. The short one asks what they should gamble with. The tall one thinks about it and offers: if the short one wins, the tall one will let her uncover a whole bunch of dinosaur skeletons - by which she means allowing the humans to find the bones. The short one isn't interested in the bones themselves, she just loves seeing what humans do with new things.

Third-person P.O.V shows a kid about 8 or 9 who is in some ghetto place of Africa. There are several floors laid with loose old bricks. The kid does crazy and dangerous life-threatening stunts. He says he does these stunts because he pretty much has nothing to live for. After he says that, the view ascends up the brick landscape slowly. As it gets onto the higher levels, a series of miniature skeletons appear on the rugged and dirty brick floor. As we ascend, the skeletons get much smaller. These are the skeletons of impoverished human beings. I now understood why the kid never cared if he lost his life doing those crazy stunts. I felt an overwhelming sense of sympathy and felt sorry for the kid.

Dream Type: Non-Lucid, Memorable.
Dream Mood: Depressing, Scary, Confusing.
Dream Setting: My mother's home, My high school.
Dream Characters: My mom, A bunch of my friends and classmates.

I do not remember much of what happened before the main portion of the dream, but as the first part, I had come back to my Mom's house, finding it made of all Minecraft blocks, well, poorly made by my mother, that is. She was complaining and mournfully telling me about how we didn't have enough to afford good housing and that my step-dad would have to work for the rest of his life to have a comfortable life (Which is strange because he's already retired). Still, there was one room in particular that was strange. The roofs were made of either blue blocks, black blocks or water blocks, which felt like rain as I stood under it. There was a loud noise when I stood under the room, and so I decided to redecorate the whole house with wood blocks and whatnot. It turns out that noise in the one room was actually a helicopter that was flying left and right over our house because there was a bear next door to us.

The next part of the dream started when I was eating with some friends at my high school on the football field. Somewhere before hand, we have heard that some other place had gotten a bomb of some sort, and not long later in the distance, we could see a large explosion that seemed like an Atomic Bomb, rubble and dirt flying from behind the building. It did nothing to us, per se, though even in the dream I wondered if it would hurt us. We were told to evacuate the school, and so I did. Strangely, I could only walk really, really slowly, though I got to the front of the school, where I encountered a plethora of orange cars there. They told us to get into any of the cars and to drive home. I saw an empty car that was free for the taking. I thought that I should get in and go, but I was scared for some reason.

The dream starts off with me standing at the edge of a river. On the other side there is a fight going on between a team of strong looking men riding big cats (lead by someone who looks like Heman) fighting some other dudes on horses and chariots. I cannot see any of their faces because they are wearing animal masks, but there is a man with long black riding a Siberian tiger that I keep looking at. For some reason he seems familiar to me.

Suddenly I am in a stone built circular city that is an island of itself and in the middle of a turmoltuous sea. There are many waterways on the lowest level of the city to allow water to flow through, but occassionally there are mini tsunamis that rush through the tunnels and often flood the lowest level of the city, which sometimes even sweeps people not quick enough to move away. There are only two to four levels of the city, depending on what area you are in. The center and the east areas of the city are wealthy and technologically advanced while the west and south edges of the city are downtrodden and poor. The north edge of the city is a huge wall and many breakers to protect the city from the turbulent water and to lessen the inpact of the many tsunamis that hit.

I am at the northern edge of the central part of the city (the "downtown" if you will) looking up at this glass box cars that move along rails in the air, like elevators that move horizonally instead of vertically. I am wandering around looking into shop windows because I am too poor to buy much and I meet a man with long black hair outside of a small museum. He is handsome and really nice and I do know it in the dream but he is the young man I saw the other day riding the tiger. There is an instant connection between us and we spend all day wandering the streets and talking and he asks me out to which I respond positively.

We go on a few dates and I learn that the is the son of a wealthy bookseller in the eastern part of town but I am too embarassed about where I live and always arrange to meet him downtown so he doesn't know I am poor. We develop a quircky way of expressing our feelings but saying "I have a confession to make..." and then revealing something deep and personal. I am able to tell him everything I feel except that I am poor and live in the western edge of the city.

I am totally crazy in love with him and even travel to his father's bookstore in the east (where he works) to visit him one day. When I first enter the bookstore the entrance hall is stacked with old war books and the such and I see one book cover that says "Sexual Trauma for Police Regarding..." I cannot see the last work but I think it is "Women." There is an old man milling about just outside the store. He looks like a scruffy Gordon Pincette and he eyes me warily. As I leave the store a mini tidal wave hits and floods the lowest level of the city.

Inside the store I meet my boyfriend and ask when he is getting off work, to which he says 2:30pm. He then asks me if I would like to go out with him for the weekend to the only hotel on the island city to which I say yes. I visit the resturant beforehand to determine how nice of a place it is and find that it is so posh that I will have to go out and buy a new dress, which will not be easy because I do not have a lot of money. On the weekend my boyfriend treats me to a wonderful meal and then we return to our lavish hotel room and drink wine and make love all night.

The next day my boyfriend is called away unexpectedly and we have to cut our weekend date short. He has been called away because the heman crew needs him, but since his identity is supposed to be a secret I do not know this. He makes up an excuse about his father being ill. Later in the week I drop by his father's bookstore to see him but he is out and I am confronted by his father, the Gordon Pincette character, who is unhappy about his son's relationship with me and tells me that I have to stay away from him because I am a distraction. When I ask what that means the father threatens me and says that if I see his son again, or tell him about the threats, that he will have me killed. I am scared and heartbroken and run home. I do believe that the father could kill me because he is very rich and has a lot of political power in the city

That night I am working on a soapstone turtle by candlelight (it is how I make money) when I hear two men fighting outside. There is a terrible scream and I open my window and look out to see the two men, both whom I do not know; one man running away and the other man laying on the ground badly bleeding. I run outside and try to stop the bleeding but the man dies just as the police show up. They see me covered in blood and try to arrest me, but some of my neighbours come out and tell them that I was just trying to help. The police take me downtown anyway and after questioning me all night they release me in the morning.

While I am walking home I run into my boyfriend and he asks why I have been avoided him. I say that I cannot tell him and start crying which caused him to insist more. He tells me how much he loves me and misses me and I turn away from him, saying that I just cannot see him anymore. I run away from there and to the northern point of the city where the breakers are and contemplate throwing myself into the sea. The two police men who questioned me earlier suddenly show up just stand there and watch me from the highest platform.

In the distance I can see a tsunami approaching rapidly and I make no effort to reach higher ground because I am so depressed that I do not care if the water takes me away. I can hear the policemen shouting too me to get off the breakers and back onto the safe platform but I ignore them. There is a pole nearby and when the water hits I wrap my arms around it at the last moment and avoid being washed away. Afterwards the policemen make their way over to me and asked how I survived because they say that they have seen many people try to grab the pole and get washed away anyway. I remember saying something about crossing my arms around the poll rather then just hugging it or something but the dream changes and the policemen suddenly disappear.

My boyfriend is there instead and he puts his arm around me in comfort and says "I have a confession to make..." and than proceeds to tell me about his secret identity as the tiger riding man. I also say the confession line and than tell him that I am poor and live in the western end of the city. He tells me that he doesn't care where I am from and wonders why I ran away from him earlier. I tell him about his father threatening me and he doesn't seem surprised at all. My boyfriend tells me that his father knows about his secret crime fighting life and told me to stay away from his son because he was afraid that his son would forget about being a crimefighter.

I am relieved and happy, but still feel unsettled about something I cannot describe when the dream ends.

"We never understand how little we need in this world until we know the loss of it."
~ James Matthew Barrie

I saw a man dressed in reddish rags sitting on a street corner. Brown was the color of his hair and eyes, and his skin was fairly filthy. He had a life, a wife, two children, but all were gone. He never bothered to tell how he lost it all. He just looked at me and flipped a coin.
This was mega depressing. Alas, alas, it was only a fragment. It also was so realistic, even when it comes to being like reality that I didn't notice it was a dream. Honestly, there was nothing wrong with this one.

This is the first of two dreams that I had on April 29th, 2010.


It starts off with me in the dream as I appear in real life trying to renovate a section of a strip mall into a grocery store. It's like the future or something because resources are scarce and everyone lives in abject poverty. I want to say it almost like a post-apocalyptic world just with extreme poverty rather than world wide devastation. In this world there are no major services available and trying to open a grocery store is considered ludicris because of the scarcity of resources.

The building I want to work in is old and because of the abstract layout of the building, the floorplan of my grocery store is triangular in shape, with the front doors being at one of the triangle's tips (making it very narrow). I am ordered by the building's landlord to complete my renovations without removing or altering a set of public bathrooms right at the entrance. I am told that no one will want to shop at my grocery store because of the akward narrow entrance in which customers will have to pass public bathroom on the way in.

After renovations are finally complete I then have trouble trying to stock the store with foodstuffs because food is scarce. Yet somehow I am not only able to fill my shelves with food, I even have a refrigerated section where I can stock thinks like milk and butter - which the populace hasn't had available to them since the major catastrophy that led to the world resource shortage. I am also able to install a coffee kiosk to help attract customers and offer a free cup of to any customer making a purchase. There is a small part here about a conflict with an emplyee who keeps leaving stock carts full of foodstuff in the middle of the store without putting them on the shelves.

Despite many criticms of my project the opening of the grocery store is a success and my next problem is keeping foodstuffs in stock for customers since so many people keep coming everyday to buy food. I am quickly becoming rich and I am able to hire other people to do all the work for me while I revel in the success of my business. I now spend my time greeting and socializing with customers rather than working the till or stocking. I am soon wealthy enough to expand the store so that it includes a section selling clothing and housewares and stuff.

I am standing in one of the new aisles inspecting its setup. The shelf is full of pencils and notpads and other stationary. An employee nearby is stocking tall and narrow opalescent coloured vases and fake plants. I go over to inspect his work when he is done and find myself attracted to one of the vases. They are stacked inside one another and when I pull the top one out, its outer lip expands and becomes wider by itself - reminisent of a flower suddenly blooming - like the plastic it is made of automatically collapses when stacked so as to save storage space. I was unaware that such technology existed and I am entralled with stacking and unstacking the vases, content to watch them bloom and collapse in size for hours on end.