(I know I haven't done any DJ entries like ever, which is why I plan to change that. ) non-lucid lucid awake/other stuff backstory: Austin is an 8-year-old DC from a vivid non-lucid I had a couple of years ago, involving a plot of him being traumatized from visiting a wicked haunted house and me trying to help him. I eventually died at the end of the dream (because of said haunted house) and it was partially my fault, so I came up with the goal last week of seeing him in a lucid dream and apologizing, then trying to help him again (you can say I'm really attached to my DCs). The dream starts off a little strange (you know, like most dreams do). I'm in public school--currently in virtual school IWL and being in public school is a common dreamsign for me that I've managed to miss--with old classmates in the gym. We were in what were like lab desks with 2 people at each desk, and our fairly b**chy reading teacher was in the gym with us for some reason, showing us some sort of sitcom that "I'd seen before" (false memory). Yup, in a school I'm not even in anymore, sitting at desks in gym class, our reading teacher supervising us, watching a sitcom. It didn't make much sense. Like most people I wasn't really paying attention to the show, just talking to others. We were never given questions on the show, so why bother watching? Eventually there's this random skip where I'm in a giant Wal-Mart with Mom, and of course I was obsessing over the candies and ice cream that were there. I don't remember much of this part, only that it was big and huge and grand and wonderful, much unlike a typical Wal-Mart. Anyway, eventually there's another weird skip (maybe the start of a new dream) where it's much later in the day; to be precise, bedtime. I have a schedule in the house for going to bed; I say good night to my friends online, I shut down my computer, Dad gives me my anxiety medication, I say good night to my parents, and then I go to bed. All goes well until I try to shut down the computer. I'd been playing a rhythm game called "osu!" (been quite addicted to it lately) and even after I had shut down the computer, a demo or replay of the game would keep playing itself against the black monitor. The computer was off, so how could that have happened? This seriously concerns me, so I go into the kitchen to find my tech whiz dad preparing my medicine and explain what's going on. I expected some sort of logical answer or fix from him or at the very least for him to go check out what's going on, but all I get is, "That's strange." Annoyed, I stood there trying to think of what could've happened. Why was a computer still running if it had no power? Then suddenly everything clicked together, and I realized I was dreaming. Dad looked at me the moment I realized--didn't say anything, didn't do anything, just looked at me--as I did a quick RC to make sure I was really dreaming. I thought of what I would do, and remembered my goal instantly, then turned to Dad who had put down my medicine and was still looking at me, and I asked, "Did you know that you're part of my dream?" "Yes I do." "Will you help me?" "Yes I will." What do you know, a cooperative DC for once. I flew out the kitchen window and Dad followed me, but I was immediately unsettled by the darkness of the night. No, really, it was pitch black outside. I didn't like the idea of not being able to see the area, so I decided I would make it daytime. First I tried going back inside and, when looking away from the window, deciding it would be daytime. It didn't work. I realized I had to be more creative with it and--I can't remember if I came up with it or if my dad suggested it--but I decided I would use a lightswitch to light up the world. I summoned a lightswitch on the back of our house, and without further ado, flicked it up. What I expected was it to become suddenly daylight. What actually happened was much more extraordinary than that--it wasn't daytime, but above my head, all the stars in the sky began to 'light up' and glow white and silver one at a time. The sky tinted a lighter blue as a response--not daytime blue, but not like the space-like black-blue it was before. What looked like thin, white, electrical waves passed between all the stars here and there, which were still glowing a bright and beautiful white. The area was lit up almost instantly as if it was nearly daytime. It was an absolutely tremendous image, especially since I was right under it. After a minute of being awestruck at the stars in the sky, I eventually start flying around with Dad thinking about what I was going to do. I can't remember why, but even though I planned to stick to my goal and I knew my time was limited, I wanted to spend some time exploring the dreamworld. Unlike our typical backyard out the window it was all forest or plains, with no other civilization around. I came across some beautiful structures that were simply there as art--a variety of colors, textures, shapes and sizes, all towering up to the clouds. Eventually I found the Wal-Mart from earlier in the dream, though completely empty and could be easily stolen from. (pssht, do you really think I'd steal from there?) We turn around and I notice something a little more eerie: there was a wooden post stuck into the ground, and surrounding it were stuffed animals sitting against it tied to the post. Well, most of them were stuffed animals, anyway--there was a single live chicken tied to the post, looking right at me. I approached it with a curious mindset, but the chicken was hostile, trying to get to me and preparing to attack me. Eventually, to my surprise, it rips its way from the post and heads towards me. I'm more confused than afraid, especially since I felt no pain or really, no anything when it started pecking at my ankles. I summon and draw a sword from my side, attempting to kill it, but everytime the blade touched it, the chicken would multiply itself and all the chickens would continue to try to attack me. I just stand there unharmed and confused, and look up to Dad. He smiles at me, then looks at the chickens, shouts "Look!" (in which all the chickens look up at him), and then makes a sort of shoving movement with his arms. When he does, poof, the chickens just vanish, leading a cloud of smoke behind them at my feet. I grinned and thanked him as I felt myself waking up. I let it happen, preparing to DEILD. When I'm awake I slowly peek my eyes open to roughly check the time by how light it was in my room. It's light out, so I know it's morning. I cut straight to business this time and start envisioning Austin's house in front of me. Eventually, I'm back in the dream. For some reason I'm in a third-person camera view when I start the dream, so I take this opportunity to look around the wooden, low-class house for a moment. Then I force myself to get back into my dream body maybe twenty feet before his front door.. Dad's standing a good distance behind me, continuing to accompany me, but giving me privacy for my goal. I don't have to go to his front door--Austin bursts out the door, and runs toward me with a big grin preparing to hug me. I fall to my knees and hold out my arms as well, and the exceptionally short 8-year-old boy gives me a big, long hug. I was preparing to give him a big long emotional speech and then try to help him, but what came out was quite different. I think I'm crying at this point, and I tell him I'm sorry maybe about a thousand times, in which he just says, "It's okay. You don't have to be sorry. I'm just happy you're here." We stay like that for maybe a minute, and I'm both happy and sad, and eventually I can feel myself waking up again (in response to a familiar noise, I think my dog jumping off my bed and being let outside by my dad for the morning). I let it happen, again, and feeling some sort of relief and closure, I finally get up for the day.
The dream starts off in the small gymnasium of my old public school. There are no children, just new recruits for the military. The small gym is the sleeping quarters, whereas the large gym is for training. There are no chairs and the new recruits are forced to sit on their duffle bags and use small fold out card tables, or in some cases, cardboard boxes to eat and write on. I do not know anyone there, but we are assigned to small groups of five or six people to a table/box. I do not remember any of the details about the others in my group, but there is a guy sitting on my left who looks like a stereotypical jarhead. I cannot remember his name but I think it started with an "L." L is a real bully to everybody and no one really likes him. I try to be nice to him, but in return he starts harassing me with rude comments and constantly tries to grab by breasts and buttocks. I am able to fight him off but from then on I have to be on alert at all times because L takes every opportunity to harass me. I try to keep my distance, but that is almost impossible since we are in the same training group within our unit. The dream skips ahead a little and it is months later. Our commanding officer is giving us our orders and assigning every soldier with a "war buddy." I don't have to wait to find out who my partner is. Somehow in the dream, I just know. It is L of course and I couldn't be any less excited about it if I tried. The dream skips ahead some more and L and I have been deployed in a thick tropical rain forest, hunting down the unseen enemy presence. I think that our settings look like scenes I have seen in Vietnam war films, though this though does not bring about lucidity. I tell L that if he tries anything towards me that I will not hesitate to defend myself, and will go so far as to kill him if I have to. L doesn't respond. We travel for quite a while without engaging in any battles, and L concentrates on his soldierly duties and does not harass me. We come across a wide river that is thick with brown silt and is flowing quite rapidly. Crossing it would expose us to possible enemy fire but we have no choice, as our destination is somewhere in the forest on the otherside. As we are crossing someone starts shooting at us. I become afraid and try to go back the way we came, but L grabs me by my munitions belt and forces me across the rest of the way. He is spraying the part of the forest where he thinks the enemies are hiding, but neither of us are actually sure where the bullets are coming from. On the otherside of the river L and I dive under the tree cover and the enemy fire suddenly stops. L begins berating me verbally for trying to run away, and though I am angry and not in the mood for his verbal abuse, I say nothing. From then on L declares himself the leader of our team of two and starts bullying me around. I am indignant at first, but soon realize that he is pushing me hard because he is trying to keep me on my toes and alive in the dangerous situation we are in. At random intervals we are attacked by enemy units but L and I are able to fight them off. I cannot see the details of the enemy fighters as they appear as sillouettes of people dodging in and out of the thickette of trees and ferns. More then once L saves my butt and a few times I save his. We are unable to stop for sleep and rest only a few times to eat, as we are constantly attacked. We reach our destination and it is some sort of military outpost in the edge of the rainforest. On the far side of the camp the flat field dips down into a deep lush valley, where several small villages of the local population exist. We are summoned by our commanding officer and are required to report our experience. It turns out that L and I are the only members of our unit that survived to complete our mission. All of the other soldiers in our unit were killed and the commander wants to know what we did to survive. We report our experience and when we are done I openly admit that it was likely because of L taking charge that we survived. The dream ends with me saying "I think L is an @$$hole, but he's also a damn fine soldier" or something close to that.
I have to take my neice, M, to school. It is winter and we are dressed accordingly. M appears to be a few years younger than she actually is (about 3 or 4 years old) while I look about the same as I do now. We are walking across a large, open yard that leads to the school. It does not register with me until after the dream ends and I wake up, but the school we are walking towards is my old public school, not the public school that M currently attends. We are halfway to the school, almost to the tarmac even, when a huge machine appears at the far end of the yard. I do not know the measurements but the machine looked equivalent to a four- or five-storey building in height. It was very painted blue and rolled on these huge tank-like treads. I do not know what its purpose is, but it starts driving in large circles around the school yard. I think the machine is kind of cool looking, but I am also afraid that it will run M and I down. I pick M up and run as fast as I can for the back door of the school. As I cross the tarmac, I come across three little boys who are running out of the school and towards the giant machine. I can't place their names, but they seem familiar somehoe, as if my subconscious is retreiving vague faces from my childhood. We get into the school and M immediately insists that I put her down, which I do. She runs into a classroom and I follow, but she is nowhere to be seen. I glance into the desks to see if I can see her name written on some paper or something, but all I see are bags of candy or blank sheets of paper. I am at one desk when a young boy comes up and I recognize him as one of my classmates when I was in grade 5 (though we are in the grade 6 classroom), Matthew Shaw. He doesn't say anything to me and just sits down at his desk, eyeing me suspiciously. I am a bit confused, but leave the classroom and wander down the hall. I stick my head in the doors of other classrooms to try and locate my neice, but I cannot find her. I cannot recall anything more from this dream.
This dream takes place in my grade 7 classroom at my old public school. While architectually the same, the teacher's desk is in the south side of the room, rather than the north, and a large chalkboard hangs on the east wall. The class has many students in it, but everyone is in their late teens and much too old to be attending public school. I do not recognize anyone in the dream from waking life. The teacher is not my grade 7 teacher, Ms. A.J. but an aging lady that looks very much like the librarian from the 1984 Ghostbusters movie, played by Alice Drummond, though she is short in stature and condesending in attitude. The students are scattered about the classroom, or sitting outside in the courtyard, reading books. The teacher is going through papers on her desk and ignoring the students. I am sitting outside, away from the other students, under the large tree in the courtyard, enjoying the bright sun and warm breeze. While every other student seems to be reading fiction novels, I think I am the only student to have a non-fiction book (something about nature, but I cannot recall about what exactly). A young woman with long, dark brown hair sits beside me under the tree. She asks what I am reading and when I tell her she becomes elated because she has a book on the same subject. We discover that we have a lot in common. I am very happy to have a new friend, as I seem to not be able to get along with the other students, and the two of us talk for a long time. The sky turns orange as the sun begins to set and the warm breeze suddenly carries an uncomfortable chill. The students in the courtyard are called inside and told, along with the rest of the class, that we are going to spend the night in school. The students are divided up into groups and put in different classrooms for the night. I am put in the group that gets to stay in the grade 7 classroom and I am happy to learn that my new friend is also in my group. I never learn her name in the dream but she looks exactly like Tifa Lockheart from Final Fantasy 7 so that is what I will call her from now on. There are seven people in our group; three female students, three male students, and the teacher. Buy the time we move the tables to the south end of the room it is dark outside and we are instructed to go to sleep. I place my dark blue sleeping bag along the west wall, so that I may tilt my head back slightly and gaze at the stars through the window, and Tifa takes a spot on my left. The other female student places her sleeping bag on my right, while the boys line their gear along the east wall. The teacher sets up her stuff near the door, in the northeastern corner of the classroom. While everyone has flannel pajamas, the only night clothing I can find in my backpack are a bright red, short-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of white panties. I crawl into my sleeping bag and change clothes under the covers, much too embarassed to expose any skin in front of the others in the room. I am feeling extremely self-conscious and not only zip up my sleeping bag all the way, but pull the covers over my head. I eventually fall asleep. I do not know what time it is when I am awakened by Tifa leaning up against me. I think nothing of it because I know that many people kick and flop around in their sleep, so I roll over on my right side and try to go back to sleep. An arm wraps itself around my waist underneath the covers and I am surprised and confused because I am positive that I completely zipped up my sleeping bag before falling asleep. I roll over on my back, to see if I can push Tifa in the direction of her spot, and it is only then that I realize my t-shirt and panties are missing and I am naked. Feelings of embarrassment and self-consciousness flood back and I am paralyzed with anxiety. I am aware that Tifa is awake at this point, because she discreetly slips into my sleeping bag with me. Though it is pitch black and I cannot see anything, my other senses are picking up on everything that my eyes fail to catch in the dark. The following portion of this dream becomes very sexually explicit - and some parts have been... watered down, so to speak - because I do not wish to be banned from DV for obscenity. It has also been hidden just in case. Please do not click the "Show" button if you are offended by sexual situations. Spoiler for mature content. (Not actually a spoiler, I just found this option convienient for masking mature content.): I am nervous, but not afraid, even as Tifa lifts her pajama top and presses her exposed upper body against my left side. My anxiety alleviates as my friend rests her head on my shoulder and begins to gently caress my belly. I eventually feel comfortable enought to rest my left hand on Tifa's thigh and when I do so, her hand begins exploring other parts of my body. Though I am breathing heavier and feeling overheated and slightly dizzy, it feels genuinely good to be touched in the ways that Tifa is doing. She takes off her pajamas and slides on top of me, bracing herself with her left hand and exploring my body with her right. I can feel her hot breath on my cheek as I caress her in return. There is a hot, pulsating sensation in my lower abdomen that I have never experienced before and it feels like I am flying. Tifa suddenly pushes her pelvis against mine and kisses me hard on the lips. No longer able to contain the feelings of euphoria, I shudder and moan out loud. That was a mistake, because several of the other people in the room stir. Tifa and I both panic. She scrambles off me and dives back into her sleeping bag. Feelings of self-conscious anxiety and fear of embarrassment threaten to paralyze me once again, but I am able to move my arms around in a desperate attempt to locate my missing night clothes. I cannot find them, as it is far too dark, and instead bury myself in my sleeping bag. I cannot sleep because anxiety keeps me awake and I instead wait for the crack of dawn to lighten the classroom, at which time I dig my day clothes out from my backpack and fully dress myself in a heavy sweater and jeans. Even several hours after the panic of being caught set in, I am still feeling expremely nervous, as well as feeling worn out after spending those many waking hours berating myself for being a fool. I am fully convinced that not only were the other people in the room awake, but they had been listening to Tifa and I the whole time and knew exactly what had been going on. I had no idea how I was going to face the embarrassment of the on coming school day. I eventually fall asleep again and when I wake up the first thing I do is look at the clock on the south wall. It is exactly 7 a.m. The teacher rouses the students not long after that and my 8 a.m. the sleeping gear has been put away and the classroom returned to normal. Though no one said anything to us, I got the impression that some of the students either knew or suspected something because I caught several of them throwing glaces in my direction or snickering when I waked by. I was hoping to draw some comfort from Tifa, but she, just as embarrassed as I, distanced herself and sat on the opposite side of the classroom as I, though she did throw me the occassional sympathetic glace. I was not angry with the way Tifa chose to deal with the situation, though I was feeling a little hurt (though I probably should not have been feeling so, since it is unfair to expect emotional reliance from someone I just met). The teacher brought out art and craft supplies and told us to make something reflecting how we were feeling that day. I wasn't sure what I was feeling, though I knew I was upset, I just did not know how to express it. The teacher also put on a movie for us to watch while we worked on our craft projects. It was the old black and white film, the Seven Samurai, by Akira Kurosawa. The teacher than glared at me for a moment, before leaving the classroom to do whatever she had to do. I was not interested in either the craft project, or the movie, and just sat their for the whole time staring out the window. I still felt embarrassed about the night before, though it was occuring to me that the likelihood of people knowing what happened was very slim and I was just being paranoid. When the film credits were rolling, a man of about thirty years of age, carrying a clip board and wearing thick, black framed glasses, came into the classromm and asked Tifa and I to join him in his office. As we got up to leave the rest of the students began jeering at us openly. At the man's office on the otherside of the school, he got right to the point and asked each of us if we were sexually active with each other, or anyone else in the school. Tifa and I blurted out our answers at the same time: she confirming it, and I denying it. The man then sarted asking us details of what was done and though he said it was for our health's sake, my suspicion that he was just getting off on listening to our encounter was confirmed when he asked us to demonstrate. Tifa seems prepared to do so, but I felt uncomfortable and unsafe and ran out of the office before anxiety could overwhelm me again. The dream ends there. This is the most vivid dream I have ever had. I tried to get as much detail in without being too "wordy." I have major body issues and sexuality has always been a huge source of anxiety and insecurity for me, so it is unusual for me to have not only a sexually explicit dream, but one that was so vivid. Though they are far and few between, all of my conscious sexual fantasies have involved men, as I have never found myself sexually attracted to women, so I do not know why I was comfortable with feeling sexual towards a woman in the dream. I did not realize it while in the dream, but the number 7 seems to appear quite a bit throughout. I have no idea what to think of this dream, let alone how to interpret it.
I dreamed that I was back in grade six. The classroom was empty except for me and the teacher Ms. M. For some reason I was naked and all embarassed about it, but there was nothing around I could cover up with. Ms. M told me to stop being so worried because she had seen other naked women before. I was all wierded out by her comments and even more so when I noticed that she was wearing only a white Victorian style nightgown. There was something happening in the hall outside of the classroom but I cannot remember any more of this dream.
I had my second lucid experience on this night! I only had very limited control, but I do believe that it is an improvement because in my first lucid experience I had no control what-so-ever. The dream takes place about a block from where I live. There is a church with an expansive parking lot near the corner of the intersection and all of the outdoor scenes of the dream take place there. All of the inside scenes of the dream take place in what is very similar to the halls of the public school that I attended as a child. Even though, in reality, there are many apartment buildings, stores and a cemetery in the area surrounding the church and the road it is on, in the dream there was only thick, dark forest. At the beginning of the dream I was inside wandering the halls of the school. It was night time and it should have been closed but I saw former classmates and teachers around as well. There were no classes going on and everything seemed very random or downright chaotic. The was some sort of parade thought the halls and people where dragging pieces of electronic equipment or walking with baby animals through the halls. Someone walked by with six kittens on a leash and I could not see the person's face, but I remember thinking that the kittens were cute. I also saw someone trying to pull a baby elephant along but still did not realize that I was in a dream. I did not attempt any RCs because it just did not occur to me at the time. I saw an old schoolmate of mine named J.P and I decided to follow him. We walked down a long hall and went outside. Rather than the school yard we walked out into the church parking lot. There were several parked vehicles as well as cars driving past on the road. J.P sat down on the front step of the church and looked at me and said something. Though I can remember the sound of his voice, I cannot remember what he said to me. I walked over to one of the parked cars (a light grey or white, two door hatchback) and thought that I would drive home in it. I started the car and pulled up the the street, but I swerved out onto the road without slowing down or stopping and I cut off at least two other road vehicles. It was then that I realized I was in a dream, because I knew what I had just done was very illegal and not the proper way to drive. The first thing I did with my lucidity was put the dream in "reverse" and go back to the point of entering the vehicle so I could attempt an exit from the parking lot with the proper driving technique (what can I say? I am neurotic like that). The second attempt at driving was as well as could be but I turned around and returned to the church parking lot because I wanted to try and speak with J.P again. As I pulled in and parked I saw J.P going into the church. I ran to catch up with him and when I went through the church doors I found myself in the public school halls again. This time however, the hall was very long and very wide and there where several former male classmates from my grade 7 and 8 years sitting all along the floor. The majority of them seemed to be working on bike or engine parts and their hands were all greasy. Some of them looked up at me and laughed (they used to pick on me and tease me relentlessly) but I ignored them and continued to follow J.P until he too sat down and started working on some greasy mechanical stuff. I don't know exactly what happend but I lost my dream control, even though I was still aware that I was in a dream. I am guessing it is because I wasn't really doing anything special with my lucidity except follow people to see what they would do, rather than attempting things myself. I turned around and saw some random former schoolmates exiting from a classroom door and going outside. I was pushed by an invisible force (I was fighting to regain my dream control at this point so the invisible force was probably my subconscious trying to move me along) to the door that the students were exiting. It turned out not to be a classroom but a small, single stall bathroom. It was dirty and empty and the fluorescent light was flickering ominously. As the male classmates all stared at me, I went into the bathroom and attempted to do my business, but the door would not close properly (neither did the stall door now that I think of it) and I felt embarrased and "on display." I finished as quickly as I could and tried to wash my hands, but the taps spewed some disgusting brown liquid. I got out of there as quickly as I could and went back into the hall to find that all of the male schoolmates who were sitting on the floor laughing at me - except for J.P, who just looked at me with a sad expression on his face before returning to his greasy work. I remember running for the exit doors because I was upset and embarassed but the the faster I ran towards the doors, the further away they seemed. I acknowledged that my dream was turning into one of those weird stretchy hall dreams, but I did not have the control over my body to stop myself from running. The only thing I could think of doing was saying to myself over and over again "This is cliche and boring. This is cliche and boring." The dream ended there. Only after I woke up did I realize that I should have been said "more clarity" or "more lucidity" rather than "this is cliche and boring." Oh well, next time.
Recent Comments
