non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP With Nighthawk, somewhere with other people around. Looks like an office as we are sitting in office chairs with wheels, but also feels like a café as people are just chilling in nearby tables. He is talking about something and I want to get closer to him, so I give an impulse to my chair to slowly roll to his side. But I pull it a bit too strongly and I roll too fast and bump into him. As a result I grab his legs and put my hands too close to his crotch and his reaction is to flinch and push himself back. I say sorry and he asks if I did it on purpose and I honestly can't tell. I feel like it was both accidental and intentional to a certain extent. I am also upset that he reacted that way but I guess it is to do with being in a public place with other people, so I don't insist and we just continue a normal conversation. At my parent's house but the house looks totally different from what it really was. My bedroom is normal but it is attached to some shed that has the roof cracking in the middle and we are all waiting for the moment it falls apart and trying to keep everyone in safety. But when it falls apart, the roof in my bedroom also falls apart and then half of my parent's room also goes down. We are tryig to take it calmly and make plans to cover it all with plastics until we get the reconstruction done, but my father starts calculating the costs and it is despairing. Anyway, we adapt to living like this. But for no good reason I now have to shower in my room, as the shower head is right above my bed. So I wet my bed completely. My mom suggests I wash quickly to reduce the amount of water soaking the bed and I wonder how I am going to sleep on it later as it won't dry until then. Then I remember we have a second bathroom with a shower that wasn't affected and wonder why we ain't using it. Then I become aware that I am dreaming and I teleport involuntarily to a street in a city with very modern architecture mixed with old palaces at an ocean front. I want to see the place but then I notice how long the street is and I don't want to walk it all the way, so I lift off to see it from above. I see this shore line to my left, another to my right and some more in front but far away. I dive in the water just for fun and wonder what to do with my lucidity as I don't have anything prepared. All that occurs to me is to summon Buddha Tara. All I get instead is a red or pink tide on the water, as if something is gathering to form a shape, but it never does. I focus harder on any Buddha to appear and one starts forming and getting out of the water. It is actually a white porcelain figure, looking much more like Budai, not any Buddha. Not very fat but a little chubby and with thin green lines making beautiful designs all over its "skin". It is human sized and I touch it to see if it is a statue or a living being. I am still in the water and he has risen above it, but I manage to touch its arms and legs and I am surprised that it feels like porcelain but also like a peachy skin at the same time and it is warm. It feels so pleasurable to the touch that I continue caressing it, I reach for the neck and chest. The statue then comes to life and scolds me for touching him inappropriately. He gets mad and summons guardians from the water. I start feeling threathened by the figures that start emerging and grabbing me. There is a floating platform nearby and I get up on it. A strong current forms and drags it, but I allow myself to go with the flow. Then I hit the shore and some monks appear requesting me to come along. I ask what is it and they say some Rinpoche requires my presence. I hope it's what I am expecting but deep down I feel that it is not. I follow them anyway and they take me to a house. We pass through a room where some monks or lamas are sitting watching tv and they take me to a bedroom in the back. I feel uncomfortable when all I see is a bed and a lama I don't know in a poorly lit room. But then I see there is a young lady laying down on the bed, I feel like she is his companion. I ask what is it they need me for. And he explains she can't sleep for a week or so and she is going mad and they are desperate. I ask if we can talk and he asks her to come forward and listen to me. At first she looks angry and uncooperative. I don't know what she expects from me, but I start by telling her about a friend I have that also couldn't sleep for a week and it was because of anxiety he wasn't even aware of. And suddenly her face changes and she is interested. I ask if there is anything in her life, past or future, that could be the source of anxiety. Something that happened and she can't let go thinking about it or something that is going to happen and she is consumed in fear or doubts about it. Slowly she admits it may be fhe latter. She is studying something and she is going to do an exam for which she feels totally unprepared and she thought she wasn't worrying at all, but now she sees she just wasn't aware of how the concern was consuming her. I give advice on how to let go and examples of how my friend managed to let go and she seems definitely calmer.
This was a dream that was only a hair’s breadth from being lucid – one of the dreams where I can’t be entirely sure that the only reason I didn’t realize it was a dream was that I was taking it for granted that it was one the whole time. I start out standing on a grassy hill outside a very large house at night. A man is nearby – another dreamer. Together, we fly up and then over towards the house. I have to help him part of the way because he can’t get high enough, but we make it onto the roof and go inside. I can’t remember much of the journey, which seemed somewhat reminiscent of a video game, and after a while, we reach a room with a bunch of other people. They're all dreamers, too. They’re chatting, messing around, having fun, but I have something more serious on my mind. First, though, I ask a woman to heal me, since I was injured by a monster on the way. (It isn't actually painful, still in line with video game logic.) I joke that I never got the hang of healing magic myself, but don’t mention I have a reason for not wanting to use too much of my energy right now. I go past them, up through a door in the ceiling. Once again, I'm standing on the roof. It’s night out here too, but otherwise, it looks like a completely different place than the one I entered from. Almost close enough to touch is a tornado. It’s completely still though: it looks like it was sculpted out of some steely metal, frozen in place. I did this at some point in the past, freezing it in time, but it won’t be long now until it starts to unfreeze. I gauge its strength and determine that I won’t have trouble taking care of it before it unfreezes. But there’s another problem: the effect is already wearing off with some of the monsters around here, and I probably can’t take care of everything at once. I may have to get some of the others down below up here to fight them – but I don’t like that idea. They’d probably be happy to, but they’re relatively inexperienced, and I don’t want to get them into a potentially dangerous situation. I start by taking out some of the smaller enemies with lightening – things like little wild pigs running around. Then I see that another monster is watching me – an enormous cyclops goat monster. I have the impression that he’s sad, like he’s taking it personally that he’s been unfrozen all this time and I haven’t even noticed. This is maybe weird enough to wake me up. 20.5.21
Seeing as I cannot maintain a self-imposed schedule for more than a couple days at a time, I have decided to move onto a new format. Because adding the number of days I missed to the day counter takes too long and actually requires me to use my brain (Or a calculator). I will post a new 'log' whenever I feel like, just to make things easier on myself. The dream counter will stay the same however. Fell asleep at: 2:00 PM Woke up at: 3:15 PM Dream 121: Magical Mutant Madhouse I'm in a place resembling the interior of the Spencer Mansion from RE1 mixed with a cheap Rio Grande Valley home. The lighting is both yellow and white, presumably coming from different sources. The dream is in the first person, and I believe that I'm actually playing Resident Evil 8, and that I can pause the game, save, and load a previous save whenever I can. I "spawn" in what I believe is the entrance of the house. An L-shaped counter towers over me as I crouch down behind it. A dog is prowling around behind me, and a whole bunch of crazy mutated residents (A la RE7) are wandering around in front of me. I believe that this spawn point is needlessly unfair and try to reload the save numerous times. On one of these attempts I try to sneak around the evil residents when one of them, the mother (Resembling Lady Dimitrescu AKA 'tall vampire lady') spots me. I manage to reload the save before I die. On my final attempt, I decide to just bum rush my way towards a steel door to the rightmost corner of the room. I accidentally tumble into one of the Lady's daughters (None of the family members resemble the characters from the game, by the way), a college age girl with a black t-shirt and long black hair. As she falls forward, I see that she "melts" into a puddle of gray goo as she hits the ground, and I nearly fall face-first into the puddle. I assume that this is her "power." Behind me, another one of the Lady's daughters uses what I assume to be magic to 'hulk up' as she notices my presence. I pick myself up and keep running whilst crouched as she barrels towards me. I manage to open the steel door and shut it behind me, locking it from my side. Before I say anything, I spot three more young women behind me, huddled around a steel desk (In fact, everything in these corridors seems to be made of steel). They seem to be talking amongst each other about the other members of their family. I hurriedly sneak past them, further heading into the unlit steel hallways. I take a left, and as I reach the end of this hallway, a mysterious person grabs and restrains me from behind. They claim that they're going to set the both of us on fire using the two exposed wires in their hand. I struggle and try to turn the sparking wires back on my assailant, while also trying to reload my save (Apparently, in the dream, reloading saves is a manual process, and having both my arms restrained was interfering with the process). My attacker manages to set my jacket sleeve on fire, which I shove into their face, managing to break free of the grab. I turn the wires back on them, and they are now completely wreathed in flame. I barrel through the door leading outside. I immediately throw my jacket off and lock the door behind me, and only then do I notice I'm on the roof of the building. It looks like the roof of a school or office, not a house or a castle. The sky is cloudy and pouring rain. I find myself walking up a spiral staircase leading to another roof while being accompanied by two police officers. I explain to them what happened in the house. I get an overpowering sense of dread, as I'm being reminded of Ethan Winters' interactions with the police during RE7. A while after getting to the roof of yet another building, open another door, and we see that we are inside of a schoolyard. It is here where I see a kid expend purple energy whilst throwing a baseball to another kid. I panic as I think the kid is another one of those psychotic magical mutants, and that he was going to murder the other kid. The other kid catches the ball, though, and continues playing. I ponder this, "Why is this kid not a raging psychopath like the other 'Magic Mutants?' Maybe not ALL of them are evil after all." I then turn to my right and see an already bulky guy in a tight red shirt and white shorts 'hulk up', and charge towards me. Just great. I nonchalantly walk into the gym (using the same door we used to get in the schoolyard, for the record) and see another kid use purple energy to throw baseballs. Then the dream ends. Spencer Mansion Interior: From the PS1 version because, as I said, the mansion in my dream looked incredibly cheap. Schoolyard: I swear the courtyard from my dream looked almost exactly like this, although not quite as JPEG-y.
23rd April 2021 Fragment: I'm in a city, with H or maybe a friend, possibly a dream character. It's built out of full-sized cathedrals which in turn also basically make up a lot of the surrounding landscape. Either way, I'm on a public footpath of some kind and with a non-conscious impression of being somewhere quite high up. There are many other people around, I remember seeing people going in either direction with backpacks on. The public path is built on top and as part of some cathedrals' rooves, which are partially flat. These bits have sections of tempered and thick (more than an inch) stained glass that allow pedestrians to walk over them and see inside the cathedrals that are below them. (recall gap) Something about a police investigation? I'm helping investigating or something. (gap) A concrete room underground. Related to sewers or some similar water processing facility? It's wet and there's some very deep water, which I can't see into very well but I'm not trying to look. There are platforms, this room has a feel of being like some kind of puzzle or challenge room. At some point, I'm now in the water. In the water, there are dozens or perhaps hundreds of undead and rotting rabbits. Their fur is green and patchy. The visible flesh is a pale violet or purple. The ones that have eyes, possibly glow. The undead rabbits swim mindlessly at the surface of the water. The water does not look unclean, despite their presence. In fact, it's kind of clear, even if I can't see very far into it. The room has a cold and dim light or ambience. Notes: Spoiler for Notes spoilered to keep DJ entry less lengthy: - It's curious that rabbits are the second rodents to recently appear in my dreams. The first were rats in a semi-recent dream and they too were filthy or unclean in some sense of the words. Until I wrote this DJ entry out, I had entirely forgotten that rabbits are rodents. -- They looked like the rabbits in places from WoW like the Tirisfal Glades and the Plaguelands. -- I have always found a certain appeal to those zones in the game, they feel peaceful to me despite their gloomy and sickly ambience. Typing this out makes me realise that it's probably a bit unusual. - On reading one of the books I have about dream symbology (I like to do so for interpretative inspiration sometimes), one thing noted about rabbits is that town people may mistake rabbits for hares and vice versa in dreams. Thinking about the dream, my instinct is to refer to them as rabbits, but in fact, they must have been hares based on their sizes as they were certainly not bunny sized. This makes some sense under that, as I have always been mostly a town dweller and even while awake, if I see a hare I'll likely think "rabbit!" before I think "hare" verbally. - The undead in general have never frequently appeared in my dreams. I can't really recall many instances where there is undeath in some sense. I have never felt a particular fear of the undead despite my religious background and despite being aware that there are some things "similar" to undeath, but not in the traditional mythical sense. - All of the things from this dream felt very desaturated, pale. - There are a lot of stereotypical "underworld" symbols appearing in my dreams recently, I feel. It wouldn't be the first time but it may feel more pronounced lately since I'm establishing casual links between them. Perhaps some kind of subconscious world-building. - The city made out of cathedrals was magnificent. The stained glass in the pathways was plain but made for a beautiful patterning effect. The whole area had a feel very much alike environments from Dark Souls, but more modern and casual and taken for granted in the dream as part of day-to-day existence, perhaps in the same way that I may take houses, office buildings and skyscrapers for granted in waking life.
Updated 04-23-2021 at 09:58 PM by 95293 (grammar)
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP I am in the middle of narrow old streets, like in Lisbon. I become lucid and decide to climb to a rooftop and see what's up there. I feel a bit of vertigo but tell myself that it's a dream and I can do anything and won't die, so why fear? I see distant rooftops lined up and decide to jump from one to the next and at the end try a bigger jump to a mountain top that is peeking in the back. But when I land on the 3rd or 4th building, I go through the roof and end up at some storage room in a cellar. I can't see a door so I climb a wall full of shelves to swing from a rope hanging in the ceiling, so I go against the wall to break it. I end up in a back storage full of fruits, veggies and cake deliciousness. I gobble up a bunch of yummy stuff and then taste some exotic fruits. It becomes a sensuous experience, so I end up rubbing a papaya in my body and the sensation of the fleshy pulp in my nether regions makes me orgasm. Then I wake up. I fall asleep again and go back to same cellar. This time I meet a familiar face but can't really point out whom. He complains about all the destruction I caused and I argue we're dreaming so it doesn't matter. But this person is not convinced and complains he will have to do all the work once I leave. I wonder out loud if dream characters go on living in their universes after we exit the dream and then I feel compassion for him if he really has to go through cleaning my mess. He asks me to follow him and he crosses a wall like a dreamer would. I am surprised by don't want to follow him. Instead I cross it to the street and meet two other characters outside, but when try to engage with them I wake up again.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP At mom's, in my old bedroom, grandpa is laying there on the bed. Zilla and Licas are visiting. It rains outside and starts pouring water inside the room. But it is not the rain, I find a burst out pipe on the ceiling. I fix it after some struggle and lots of buckets of water. Zilla is chilling on another bed and the scenario shifts into a beach. We are now sunbathing on the beach and she goes nudist. Dares me to also go naked, to which I object. Insists on seeing my nether parts, claiming she learnt something important she wants to show me. But I say absolutely no. Out of nowhere comes a robot with evil black eyes that starts talking to us. Zilla reacts pretty normally, but I am very surprised. Then more are coming. It is a whole family of talking robots. Silvery, shiny, big squarish heads with big black eyes and demonic mouths with sharp teeth. They have a black robotic gorilla which seems to be their mascot, but even bigger than they are. They stay on the beach for a while by our side and then get up and leave. People on the streets are scared to see then and run in all directions. We go to a nearby restaurant with several floors and we join a party on their basement. It is dark and music is playing and the robots join us again. People no longer panic, they are just curious now. I get closer to take pics of them, but my cell phone gets lots of interference and I fail. I remember this trouble photographing objects happened to me before and it was around holograms. That's when I realize they are holograms. Someone with high tech machinery is projecting the robots with some artistic / sociological objective. I confess I am disappointed but relieved, as they looked creepy as hell. I get separated from Zilla. While I go look for her, I find the toilet and see myself in the mirror. My hair is short, white and fluffy, with some rust-like orange color at the ends. I and some friends are some kind of slaves. We live in a big barn and we sleep in the attic-like upper floor. Our guards control us by locking us in up there. But I often get out through the roof and manage to jump to other nearby roofs of other buildings, with access to the street. I just don't go too far, because I don't want to leave my friends behind. But I was able to come up with a plan for a few of us to escape and get some weapons and come back to free the others. Strangely enough, I know how the plan will work out, because I already lived it and recall how it went. But our oppressors seem to also know what we plan and put a dozen armed guards on the roof to stop us from escaping. I feel despair, because I can taste the freedom I knew we already had and now the whole plan is in jeopardy, as if they also knew the future and altered it. But I have another plan. There are other windows that don't give access to the roof so easily but give direct access to the ground 30 mts below and I have rappelled that height before (in RL actually), so I feel confident about it. if we are fast, 2 or 3 of us could slide down before the guards even react. They have armors and big guns and can't move fast enough from their position in the roof. We start collecting rope everyday whenever we find some. We will have to tie it with knots but we hope it works.
Morning of December 4, 2018. Tuesday. Dream #: 18,978-02. Reading time: 3 min 20 sec. Readability score: 62. At the beginning of my non-lucid dream, I am with an unfamiliar woman (of perhaps twenty) in a fictitious room of the Barolin Street house that is implied to be between the main bedroom and the lounge room. There is no furniture in the room. Despite my lack of viable dream state awareness, I am subliminally aware that I am dreaming. My dream self believes that we are awake but that I am ritually inducing the dream state. We are lying on the wooden floor. I am aware of Zsuzsanna being nearby, yet I also do not see the unfamiliar woman as an imposter or trespasser. (This is because she is supposed to be the usual Naiad and melatonin mediator, modeled after a young Zsuzsanna, but because I am not viably lucid, the situation is distorted and integrated with other dreaming processes.) I am teaching her how to enter the dream state by creating the illusion of water as autosymbolic of natural melatonin and as defining illusory physicality within sleep. I cause the floor to transform into shallow water (the typical beginning of dream state entry since early childhood), and we float around for a short time even though it only seems about four inches deep. There is an awareness that I am entering the dream state (even though I am already dreaming). I consider that if the water becomes very deep as we go farther into the dream state, sharks might eventually appear below us, but there is no continuity of perceived threat. From here, I enter a more vivid dream segment. There are no thoughts about the unfamiliar woman, who has vanished, or of the previous exercise. Zsuzsanna and our two youngest children are present. There is no longer any association with dream entry or being in the dream state. There is a storm approaching from the south. I look out from the lounge room and see odd clouds, one of them shaped like a top. Despite the several big fluffy clouds being white, they supposedly are storm clouds. I try to create a tornado from the one that looks like a top. Soon, there is a loud crash, and something, perhaps a large tree branch (though I do not see it) comes through the roof above the hallway, leaving an irregular hole. Rain comes in. Zsuzsanna and I look at the damage. I deliberately stand under the rain coming through the ceiling. I feel cool and refreshed, and my dream becomes much more vivid. (I have used water to vivify and sustain my dreams since early childhood.) In the next scene, I walk around observing water flowing down the walls from the edges of the ceiling. There is a plastic storage box on a high shelf that I feel concern about getting wet, as it may contain textbooks or my dream journals. However, it does not seem that the water is anywhere but on the walls. Through the windows, I look at the cluster of white clouds again and notice more that are shaped like tops, though I try to imagine more than there are. Zsuzsanna and our two youngest children look outside and up from (fictitious) lounge room windows at the south end of the room. It seems to be nighttime now. Near our house are two tall palm trees (not a real-life feature). The palm trees start to move in the wind and soon bow down near the windows and, at first, “roar” at us. Loud human voices, somewhat electronic, come from atop them. I find it curious but not unusual. Upon going outside, I see that Isaiah Washington (from “The 100”) is inside a space (as if I am viewing the imagery with x-ray vision) in the fetal position near the bottom of one of the palm trees. He is speaking into a microphone. He loudly and cheerfully states, “This is sector seven.” It seems that another male (though I do not see him) is inside the other palm tree. The loud voices are coming from loudspeakers atop the palm trees. The neurological function of the preconscious simulacrum (Isaiah Washington in this case) is to guide the dream self back into wakefulness (which is known as RAS or reticular activating system mediation or modulation depending on the mode of the dream self) - and enigmatic space typically results in an avatar with authority (fictitious or not) as in this case. The fetal position implies being “reborn” into waking life. The bowing palm trees are the association with a form of vestibular system correlation, the emerging awareness (vestibular precursor) of the return to viable physicality upon waking (as the dream self does not correctly discern the physical body until RAS and the vestibular system kicks in, which often results in flying or falling, bicycle riding, using stairs, and so on). It follows the usual autosymbolism-driven formats, in the same order, that my dreams have for over fifty years, though the processes are always unique and intriguing in their rendering.
I appear to be coming outside from school and I became lucid. I look around it was bright sunny out and decided to explore. For some reason I felt like this was my old middle school and I roam around climbing on top of the building and being on the roof. I had a desire to find my brother in this dream so I begin to look for him. I then notice while on the roof that he was on the far right building across from me. I jump from the roof with the attempt to fly to him. But it didn't happen, instead I landed on the ground hard but I wasn't hurt. I then see my brother on ground and we begin walking while talking. We started to walk to this big house that look fairly expensive. I saw his friends come from inside it and walk passed us. I waved my hand at them as my brother and I enter the place. We walk all around the area talking about all sorts of stuff like tv shows we use to watch and how some of his roommates rooms were a messed or what they didn't like to do in the morning. We then soon made it to the balcony and I could tell my time was running low. I turn around and look at him and said I have a question for you. I slide open the door so we could stand outside as it was night now. I look at him and said are you my brother from the future, the person I met when I was 14. He tells me no and we both talk about his life while laughing about some of the stuff he has done. I wake up shortly after.
Morning of July 17, 2018. Tuesday. In my dream, the setting is an isolated version of our present home, with the erroneous factor of being in a large field. The roof is different from what it is in reality and is more like the roof of the Cubitis house. We have neighbors who live nearby, but not as in a typical suburban area. It seems to be late morning in my dream. Threads of my conscious self identity are scant, but I am aware of my marriage and family. Vestibular system correlation begins in the form of the approaching winds of a storm. Zsuzsanna and I are outside. I see a tornado. It is not a threat and seems unusually thin. I non-lucidly mediate the weather without my dream self becoming lucid. As time passes, there are a few more tornadoes. One of them moves toward our house. As I anticipated, one of the tornadoes turns, moving into our house, tearing the roof off, but not doing any other damage. “Oh no, not again,” I say, without much emotion or excitement. (This is a reference to the natural disaster that we survived in November of last year.) There are several large sections of boards scattered about the yard. (I do not see steel roof sheeting as in reality.) There are also sections of tar paper (which I have not seen in real life since the 1970s). An unknown Hispanic male, apparently our closest neighbor, comes over to look at the damage. He exhibits a cheerful and helpful attitude. My dream self automatically correlates with the factor of non-lucid dream control (with no discernible trigger) and I start to realize that I can will the roof to become whole again. Pieces of the roof fly up and go back onto our house so that the roof is complete. At one point, I hold onto small rods that are part of the foundation of the house and wiggle them around as the top of the house rebuilds itself. (This is an attempt to reinduce my dream or to get more sleep, as it represents the vertical pipe of the outdoor faucet near the front of our house in reality.) I wake shortly after this. There is no exploration of indoors in this dream. It all takes place outdoors. Readability score: 73 (likely to be understood by a reader who has at least a 7th-grade education).
Morning of June 18, 2018. Monday. Subliminal awareness of the autosymbolic nature of the waking process begins. My unconscious mind is personified as an unknown female despite the fact my non-lucid dream self does not possess viable access to my unconscious mind at this level of REM sleep. Errors and distortions abound. She is a subliminal thread of my wife Zsuzsanna, of which my non-lucid dream self does not yet possess viable memory of or contact with my current conscious self identity. She has a daughter who literally but subliminally represents our oldest daughter at a younger age. I am sitting on the floor in a unique erroneous version of the King Street mansion. The house is mirror imaged to its real-life layout, flipped east to west. I am in the downstairs antechamber while the female mostly remains in the living room on the other side of the doorway. She seems annoyed in building a small structure on the floor in about the middle of the living room, mainly from a set of small blocks of different solid colors, mostly blue, yellow, red, and green. They are about the size of baby blocks, but with a feature on all six sides that is like the knobs of a Lego brick, though there are four knobs on each side of each cube in a two by two pattern. A couple times, as the blocks do not fit into each other, stacks of about seven high topple over. There is a row of about eight stacks at various heights. (This is autosymbolism for failure to initiate viable conscious awareness.) I am puzzled and somewhat annoyed, though not angry, in trying to rebuild the staircase that goes to the second floor (where I had lived in real life though not been since 1990), which supposedly is to be the real staircase. This is an extreme failure of thinking skills as I am solely working with small triangular pieces of wood. The pieces are only about two inches thick. The two stacks I had made this far are only about six inches high in two rows of about eight pieces each. I cannot seem to arrange the pieces in the correct orientation regarding which edge should face upward. I have several together, but they do not display the form of a set of steps. This indicates that my subconscious self is having difficulty in reaching my conscious self identity during the waking process. Subliminal anticipation of the waking process continues but increases. This is after the subliminal recognition of a staircase being autosymbolism for the waking process despite its miniaturization in a setting that represents the liminal space of the process, the antechamber (what my landlady called a “vestibule” in real life). Vestibular system correlation personifies, which causes my dream to jump to a new setting, though in the same King Street mansion, still mirrored east to west. I find myself on the second floor. I develop an ambiguous awareness where I start to become partly aware of my married status and erroneously perceive the house, though vaguely, as the Stadcor Street house in Brisbane (where we have not lived in years), though that was only a one-storey house and was nothing like the King Street house. Vestibular system correlation personifies as Glenn, one of our landlords from Stadcor Street. He has never lived in America, but my dream self does not consider this error. I have a vague awareness he is married to my landlady (only vaguely recalled as Zsuzsanna at this point, but this does not trigger the realization of my erroneous associations) even though in reality he had a male partner. A vague thread of dream state awareness is present at this point, though no threads of viable lucidity. Because of vestibular system correlation personifying as Glenn, who seems very cheerful, I walk through the doorway of the upstairs kitchen, which opens to the porch’s roof. This is from vague recall that a porch can be used to vivify a dream, as it is autosymbolic of a specific level of dream state consciousness of which I had used many times in the past, since early childhood, to vivify my dream or “step into” a more vivid offset dream. This process developed from walking outside by way of the porch’s doorway. Here though, I am somewhat puzzled from being on the roof of the porch, as there is no additional doorway to intensify my dream or trigger viable lucidity (as the option to jump off the roof to fly does not occur to me). Glenn looks up at me from the public sidewalk in front of the house. “You’ll have to use the catwalk,” he says happily. I get the impression he had used the so-called catwalk and jumped to the ground from the outer edge of the roof. I study the roof and see a precarious narrow section of wood that is separate from the rest of the roof, which puzzles me. I stand on it, but consider that I cannot get to the rest of the roof (which has some building materials and tools sitting about) even though all I would have to do is step onto it from this supposed catwalk. Even after fifty years, my dream self fails to remember the dream sign of a cat being a “witness” to liminal space and typically near doorways (for the purpose of inducing lucidity in some cases), though the association had been distorted into the word “catwalk” in this case. (No cat is present and my dream self does not think about cats even upon hearing “cat” as part of “catwalk”.) The association with a “cat always landing on its feet” is not present (regarding the vestibular system dynamics of the waking process, which is often a falling sensation, based solely on biology, not “meaning” as “interpreters” falsely propagate). My dream shifts into a different scenario as a result of considering the nature of the King Street roof (still erroneously associated with the Stadcor Street house) and subliminal anticipation of the falling sensation of the waking process, which does not occur as a result of this shift. Now it is a typical non-lucidly forced “haunting” scenario. I am downstairs again, but this time the setting is an ambiguous composite of the Stadcor Street house and the Cubitis house. I am now more aware of Zsuzsanna as my wife, though it is still not a complete recognition. She still seems to serve the role as landlady. “How long has…it…been in this house?” I ask her this dramatically, speaking of the haunting, which is mainly nonthreatening. We talk briefly, but I become distracted. I find myself in a dark room with an unknown female. There is talk about ghosts and seeing physical evidence of ghosts in this house. I tell her, “This is the only house I have ever lived in where there is the physical presence of ghosts.” On one level, I know ghosts are not real, but on another level, I have achieved non-lucid dream control and revivification at this point to entertain myself. The old writing desk that Zsuzsanna used to have is present, which results in an increase of thinking skills correlation. Near the opposite side of the desk from where the unknown female is standing, another female slowly appears. It is a ghost. “Can you see her?” I ask the female. She tells me that she cannot see anyone there. The ghost is a realistic version, as a “real” human, of Velma Dinkley (of the Scooby-Doo franchise), though about twelve years of age. She seems puzzled and very shy and uncertain. “Who are you?” I ask her. “I’m a goddess,” she whispers. I am puzzled and ask her again about five times. Each time, she softly says, “I’m a goddess”. I want to help her come to terms with her death. (This is a vague influence of “Show Yourself” from 2016, seen just prior to sleep, where I expected Travis to hug the ghost of Paul near the end, though he did not). I hug her, place my right hand on the small of her back, and move it up to the middle of her back. As a result, the palm of my hand begins to glow with white light, rays shining into other areas of the room. (I do not recall the association with Zsuzsanna having been born on September 13, though this was exactly one year before “Scooby-Doo” first aired, therefore Velma in this case is a subliminal representation of Zsuzsanna.) The palm of my right hand continues to glow as I find myself walking south through the Cubitis hallway. I stand in the doorway of the Cubitis southwest bedroom looking into the semidarkness. Several unfamiliar people, both men and women, are sitting on couches that are against the west and north walls. (This is an erroneous setup, as the north wall held the sliding doors of a large closet in reality.) I hold up my right hand and the light spreads into the room somewhat. The others are puzzled. I step through the doorway and wake. (This is a vague association with a security system reading a handprint to allow entry, or, in this case, to exit the dream state.) With this entry, I have attempted to explain the dreaming and waking process as best I could for this dream. (This is difficult in a society where most people have no viable understanding of dreams, many still believing in “interpretation” and “symbolism” in the popular sense, neither of which is real.) The bedroom is a literal thread of final recognition that I am dreaming, and so I choose to wake. The light represents attaining consciousness as a willingness to accept daybreak and intelligence of which only the conscious self possesses in waking life.
Morning of February 19, 2018. Monday. In the first part of my dream, I notice a square hole in the floor in front of our couch, near the middle, about a third of the size of the couch. I consider that our youngest daughter might fall through if she is not paying attention, although the concern does not dominate my thoughts, as I also consider she would likely be aware of it for the most part. It seems to be late afternoon. The couch is in the wrong orientation. It is perpendicular to its real location, as it is on the west side of the lounge room facing east (where it has never been in reality) instead of being at the south edge of the lounge room facing north. Later, Zsuzsanna and I are in a fictional room that is oriented where our oldest son’s room would be in reality, though is implied to be a mostly featureless lounge room, though there are bookshelves present. Zsuzsanna remains on my left. I focus on what looks like water dripping from a small area of the ceiling. I somehow see through the ceiling and see a large hole in the roof (as if I had x-ray vision, a fairly common dream state trait), oriented to my right. I tell Zsuzsanna of this, remembering that a new roof had just been built onto our house (in reality) and this new one has already partly “dissolved”. I also notice a smaller hole in the roof near the far corner of the room. I strongly focus on the idea of rain and water coming down, and (without viable lucidity) see water pouring through the small narrow irregular hole in the ceiling. After this, I expect more water to come in near where the cat is sleeping in the far corner. A smaller amount of water than in the first instance comes through the ceiling near the corner and splashes the cat, but it does not seem that annoyed and remains in its position. I have a vague concern about books getting wet, but no more water comes through and I slowly wake. (The supposed rainwater event is more like someone quickly pouring water from a bucket from the two areas above the ceiling rather than a leak caused by rain or an even amount of water over time as it does not even seem to be raining when I look through the ceiling with x-ray vision, and then through the hole in the roof each time, as the sky is blue and cloudless.) My dream self’s first focus is on the hole in the floor. This represents neural OR gating relating to a subliminal focus on Zsuzsanna’s unconsciousness, as it is in the same location in front of the couch where Zsuzsanna sits in reality. However, when Zsuzsanna later appears in my dream, she remains on my left when subliminal autosymbolism of our real sleeping position is present. Vestibular System Personification is incidentally rendered as our youngest daughter in this case. There is no modulating RAS factor or personification thereof and my dream self’s concern is illusory and ambiguous as in many past dreams of this nature. The holes in the roof represent neural OR gating of my conscious self identity (which has featured in many past dreams as such), to my dream self’s right as I am sleeping on my left side, my right side more exposed to my real environment. The larger hole, closest to my dream self, opens to my consciousness precursor, the other, Zsuzsanna’s. Neural OR gating means that my conscious self is manipulating my dream, with my personified subconscious (dream self) being only subliminally aware of the implications (that is, without full recall of the dream state, as the subconscious level lacks viable intelligence and temporality). To clarify, my conscious self is subliminally aware of being in the dream state, though my dream self is not (and does not even recall what a dream is), though my dream’s autosymbolism is still based on a value of “one” (OR gate). This is why there is a hole in the roof and why my dream self can see it through the ceiling (liminal space divider, that is, a neural pattern between dream self and conscious self). The cat is a precursory emergent consciousness factor (as a common liminal space denizen). My dream self is aware of its autosymbolism, which links a thread to my conscious self identity of which tries to reinduce and sustain the dream state by willing it to rain. (Even though in real life, rain coming into our home after the roof was torn off was obviously a negative event.)
Morning of December 20, 2017. Wednesday. I am writing a booklet in my dream about a factor which has remained consistent since early childhood. It is called “The Roof Factor.” I am not lucid. In reality, I had thought about writing an entry on the concept. I focus on dreams about open ceilings and roof repair. Before I was nine years old, I came to understand some dream features signified the level of consciousness. I noticed dreams featuring open ceilings were more likely to occur in a certain level of awareness, in a particular part of the sleep cycle, when my conscious self identity was present to a greater extent than in other dreams (more than when such as a porch is rendered to represent the waking space). Most open ceiling dreams feature my current address and most often have more common dream state indicators. (Most of my non-lucid dreams have less conscious self connections and distort in anachronistic composites of various places I have lived in the past). It validates a ceiling or roof as representing a specific level of consciousness in a similar way as a wall or fence in relating to liminal space division, though with viable threads of conscious self identity. That is even more so with dream state indicators such as beds in being potential exit points or focal points of emerging consciousness factors. (I do not typify a ceiling or roof as a dream state indicator, as it does not directly relate to bedrooms or beds). I do a lot of writing and reading in my dream, going back over at least a dozen dreams with the roof factor. Eventually, I wake to feel vaguely annoyed at having “lost” all my writing. Experiencing a long dream while writing about them while not aware that I was dreaming was amusing and ironic. There were more dream references here than in other dreams in recent memory. They had an interesting connection with the replacement of our roof in real life after the storm had torn it off over a month ago, which was the scariest event in our lives. Readability score: 61.
Updated 07-18-2018 at 07:16 PM by 1390
Morning of December 11, 2017. Monday. Thinking about our house actually having a roof again after over a month of this nonsense (since the storm tore it off), naturally some dream content would have an association with it, that is, in cases where my current conscious self identity is extant in an incidentally non-lucid dream. Because the personified dream self has no concept of time or space, or any semblance of intelligence or viable memory in non-lucid dreams of most stages of unconsciousness in the sleeping cycle, it is not automatically expected as a factor though. Curiously though, there were dreams about the roof repair and our landlord involved in it a few times prior to the real-life event (the storm that tore our roof off), so that is the literal prescience at work again. My foreman from years ago (Patrick S, who shot himself, and by which I had a prescient dream of his saying “goodbye” on the same day with no way of me knowing he would do this, as I had not seen him for months as it was) takes the role of our landlord without my dream self really noticing it. I am sitting on a beam above our ceiling, the area far more expansive than in reality. I am reading a paperback book. Above me is a solid roof, so my dream is illogical in implying a new roof is being built below it. Instead, on a different beam several feet away, is Patrick. He is nailing a small piece of tin in a vertical position aligned to what is then a wooden walkway. I feel somewhat aggravated (though not enough to trigger RAS and the waking event), as this seems to have nothing to do with the actual roof over our house, at least not the main sections. I somehow teleport to the area and he hands me a hammer and asks me to help him. One corner of the tin seems problematic, apparently with too many nail holes that have torn the tin, to be feasible to be nailed where it needs to be aligned. My dream distorts and then I am to get a ladder and go up to where I already am, which of course makes no sense. As I then attempt to climb the ladder to where I had already been moments before, the ladder is now actually a distorted composite of ladder, staircase, and bookcase (not the first time this specific feature has occurred in a dream). From here, I start to realize that the symbolism means I am dreaming and consequently (without holding back on RAS mediation or mode) soon wake. Although staircases symbolize the return to waking consciousness (when going up; as going down typically vivifies a dream, sometimes triggering apex lucidity, at least in my case, where I then have full conscious self control of the dream state), ladders do as well, though staircases are more common as such due to being far more of a familiar factor in waking life (which sounds strange I suppose, as dreams are otherwise so inherently surreal, often having little or no relevance to real life). The composite synthesis of the bookshelf factor (note I was reading prior to my teleportation to Patrick’s location) is parallel symbolism that validates the meaning of the staircase symbolism. That is, both represent the emergent consciousness stage of RAS mediation. This is because only the whole conscious self has thinking skills and basic language skills with such as books.
Updated 11-17-2019 at 04:37 PM by 1390
Morning of November 17, 2016. Thursday. I am wandering around in La Crosse as I have the vague realization that I am tired and should probably go home. My dream self seems about twenty years of age. I fly to the back of a building, to the first-floor’s extended roof of the building which has at least two storeys. This feature provides access to two apartments on the higher floor. (The feature is similar to the Rose Street building I lived in as a young child, except it only had one hallway door to the first-floor roof. The location itself seems more like the area where Dennis lived years ago which also had only one door to the first floor roof.) From the outside, I have a false memory that my apartment is to the left and the one on the right is where my brother Dennis lives. He appears as he did in the 1970s. The setting is very distorted. Even though I remember living and sleeping in the apartment, it is far too small for a human being to either go through the doorway or actually live inside the building. The height of the living area is no more than two feet. This puzzles me but neither triggers any realization that the situation is impossible nor results in stronger emotions. I consider that the building is mostly made of a stack of bricks that shift a bit at times, which somehow makes the apartments smaller or larger at different times. There is a conversation between Dennis and our (fictitious) landlady, which eventually relates to something about feeding homeless people in the area. I cannot get into my apartment so I decide to sleep on the roof while thinking of how the homeless people will be fed as it seems like a worthwhile task. Dennis has some carrots, lettuce, and potatoes to start a stew or soup. Eventually, just as I begin to wake, there are vague thoughts about geese flying over the building and returning to the area. Wandering around feeling tired is a dream state indicator created by subliminal awareness of being asleep as well as having been tired in reality prior to my dream. This is additionally evidenced by wanting to sleep on the roof, which is a liminal space divider related to depth of sleep and how much of the conscious self identity is present. It is also why my dream’s setting is rendered as too small to access. The geese returning to the area is typical vestibular system correlation, autosymbolism for waking process thoughts in “returning” (waking back into) the physical body while leaving the illusory dream body. There are also mild thoughts of hunger. The “feeding” reference is to me, as “homeless” is based on liminal awareness of not being awake in the physical body.
Updated 06-13-2018 at 07:59 PM by 1390
Jan 2, 2016 I traveled to BGC to a condo unit. I think Rob and/or Lico was there. Someone needed to take a cab. I wrote down a number for GrabCar or something. I was lining up in the MRT. There's a sale in a mall nearby. People are also lining up, but they're on tiles (like in Civilization). I moved a bag on one tile out so people can use it. Or I think someone else took out the bag. There was a game of some sort where everybody wins an apple. Literally one piece of apple. I thought that was ridiculous. I was on a rooftop of a building. Alex and Bishie were there I think. They're playing around. I can see the height from the edge of the roof of the building. Several stories high. A videogame. An old man and a monster. "Panga-yao." I was talking with a person about how Jews are gaining power and oppressing everyone else, including Muslims. There's a hint of anti-Semitism and conspiracy theory. I mentioned to the person how hypocritical that is, defending one religious group (Muslims) while demonizing another (Jews). The person tried to it dismiss it and change the topic. --- Notes: - Most of the dream was hazy but the last part where I was arguing with the person was very lucid. Too bad it ended quickly. - The person is familiar in real life but I forgot his/her name.
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