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Morning of November 14, 2018. Wednesday.

Dream #: 18,958-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min. Readability score: 58.



In a previous dream including my conscious self’s identity and to some extent in real life, I had been building a more extensive paradigm understructure for my online dream journal as a way to make it more idiot-proof, despite there being virtually no evidence that mainstream humanity has any understanding of the induction, dreaming, and waking processes. I had been focusing on “personifications of” while branching into more specific factors of vestibular system correlation, nexus simulacrums, and melatonin mediation. During this time, my dream self loses most of its present waking life identity while still holding a subliminal awareness of concurrent physicality and a minimal degree of lucid dream state awareness to where only a sliver of my conscious self’s identity remains extant; just enough to deliberately enter the role of another denizen to experiment with the dream space.

The backstory of an upcoming wedding comes to the forefront. It is a transpersonal thread adjacent to the virtual foreshore. There is the sighting of an unknown groom of about twenty-five in my incorporeal glimpse. I possess the body of a man who is about eighty years old to sustain his role in attaining a sacred stick from a secret area for the unknown young groom (who remains in another part of town), maintaining faith that any other sentient presence in the dream space will not detect me as an imposter. The interconsciousness borrows pieces of a setting that I had not lived in real life for years, making sure it is incorrect in design so that it is not mistaken for having waking life relevance or the fallacy of symbolism that the unintelligent pursue. I am at an erroneous version of the Stadcor Street house in Brisbane. This version of the house has an enclosed wooden back porch, which expands over the area that the utility room was in real life (though the utility room was at ground level). Another male, unknown, about the age of the man whose body I possess, is with me, remaining on my left (dream attention orientation, as I sleep on my left side). I do not see the house as a place of significance, and my dream self only vaguely realizes that it is an illusory model of a place I had once lived. There is little of my conscious self identity that remains extant.

We are to meet with a man who is over a hundred years old, known only as General. Another man who is about a hundred years old arrives first. The four of us briefly appraise each other. I marvel at how wrinkled their faces are. I nod to General, addressing him solely and lightly with “General.” He does not seem to suspect I am not the old man. I feel comfortable in my fictitious role. He had stepped from a back room of the house, perhaps the kitchen in assuming that this fake house was somewhat like the original. The other man had come in from outside. My dream self’s attention does not focus on the porch setting as the nexus within liminal space; that virtual bridge which I had entered thousands of times in previous dreams since early childhood. Despite “General” being a military association with the preconscious and interconsciousness simulacra, I do not anticipate dominance by their presence. We go out into the backyard. It seems to be late morning. I am holding a large irregular stick in my left hand.

We all have walking sticks, but the groom’s sacred stick is just beyond the backyard in a cluster of trees. In reality, this would have been our neighbor’s backyard, which was divided from ours by a small fence.

As I am walking, the other end of my stick, still being used with my left hand, somehow gets stuck between two small cages (the bottom of one and the top of the other). I am not sure if they contain any animals. A big cloth is covering them. It takes me a few minutes to pull it out. The man who had been with me, the first one, seems slightly annoyed and moves to help me, but the stick is already out.

Liminal awareness had established that I was sleeping on my left arm in an uncomfortable position, which became a factor of my dream’s scenario, altering its potential. My dream self absentmindedly points this out, with the stick, where my essence is, beneath the cloth (bed sheet) and asleep, my waking self “caged” within the virtual lattice of physicality.

---

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I'm attending my guru's teachings and a sequence of odd experiences happen. At some point he plays a drum in a certain beat pattern, without explaining its importance or decoding its meaning. Then he leaves his seat and a midle-aged lady student moves in to play the drum, trying to recreate the same sound. She thinks it's ike a mantra, that we can replicate to help our meditation. But she doesn't play it right. I feel some uncomfort, like knowing she shouldn't be doing it, but it's not my business to decide that, so wat I do is correct her and guide her to play the right beats. At this point I feel my guru's eyes on the back of my head. I turn around but he isn't there. I also leave.
Then I am with my guru, but the timeline is not linear. I left with him and a group of select people who will stay with him for the next hours as he meditates and eventually doozes off in a more private place. He sits in the middle and we sit around on mattresses. We will be there supposedly for 17 hours, meditating and sleeping. At this point the lady hasn't plaid the drum yet, but then we hear the sound. The guru is a bit upset. Not only it disrupts this quiet moment we're meant to have, but this drumming sound is a sacred sound that shouldn't be plaid by just anybody. From this place here he sticks his eyes into the back of my head on that room, knowing all too well that my good heart enabled that lady to play that drum.
So he closes his eyes, but he also gets out and personally ensures this lady is punished with temporary incarceration on a cave nearby. I just know all of this because I see it all happening in my mind. As soon as he leaves the cave (and during all that time he was just sitting straight, eyes closed in front of me), I sneak out from this room, to go see the lady. i feel guilty, because I encouraged her to play and taught her the right beats, so I should be incarcerated, not her. I sneak out of the room silently, everybody is meditating eyes closed or sleeping, so I assume no one seems me going.
I find a way to communicate with the lady inside the cave and to say I'm sorry for her torment.
I can feel the presence of my guru, of course he knows I'm there, the whole time we've been in more than one place at the time and our actions seem to be all interconnected. She is me and I am him and he is me and I am her. He is smiling from afar.

Now this one was very strange... I was with my parents in a desert, close to a house. It was daytime, and I remember them saying they had to go somewhere. So when they left, I was all alone. But there was something in the desert I wanted to go and check out while they were gone. It was like some kinda huge dirt ball, or pile, or something like that... It was weird. I started walking there but then my parents came back, so I had to walk back pretty soon. I wonder what it was that I was going to see... Oh well... Still kind of a short dream.

WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID
BOLD IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT

From the night before last
*This is a rough draft that I may or may not get around to cleaning up more*

There was a slow, tribal, quiet, calm quality to this dream, like the feel of winter. I felt more a part of everything, to the extent that my identity’s separation from the other people in the tribe was vague, as if I was all of them, except the young woman leading the horse.

One horse knew the way back to our yearly (sacred, I think) place. No humans knew. we all followed. the horse (Neil was his name?) was in front, without a person riding. someone walking besides him so that he would be able to lead. the person still held his reigns loosely. the rest of us on our horses. A very long trek, at least a day.

We realized we’d lost them. we sped up. Lots of deep snow around as we walked the trail. Then we went downhill a little and it felt like we were in another land. the trail disappeared. Widely spaced, tall trees. The snow looked like it had been blown in exceptional ways. So thin with large mottles on wide scalloped shaped indistinct paths on the ground, like when it is blown off the road and looks like mottled smoke. That magic feeling I get in dreams, where the beauty infuses me. We were there. Or very close. Still looking for the head horse and his companion. Searching, searching.

After a while of concerned searching, concentrating on which smoke-blown path felt right, I saw them coming down one of the paths toward us. The horse was hurt.

We went over to them and we saw how badly the horse was hurt. A wide gash to the bone in its front right thigh. Then I saw the leg was missing below. There was a metal plate inside the gash. The girl who had been leading him said she put it there for the horse to heal, but it wasn’t going to help, we knew. The horse had been given an antibiotic but that is not what we called it in the dream. We inspected the gash and went to touch the metal to pull it out so it could heal properly but the girl warned us that it was so painful and infected to the extent that the pain would make the horse go crazy. We understood and sat back, waiting for the antibiotic/pain medication to take effect so we could treat the horse. The horse’s leg had been severed completely (under where this deep gash was?) On reflection (though perhaps it was the calm quality to the dream) I/we felt sadness yet acceptance as well. Something of a treasure, sacred and deep, was potentially leaving us.

July ??, 2010

Meant to type this out sooner

Synopsis: A party gets rowdy, my dad is drunk and kind of scary. Afterward I become lucid and a voice tells me to find the Goddess of the Dried Lake. I fly and fly and even fly right through my Inner Sanctuary

Night Time Note: I slept with a stone underneath my bed, chrysocolla. But this was the only night I had any weird dreams.



Drunks in my Room!
The family is throwing some sort of party. At the same time I'm letting guests in my bedroom to see my awesome paintings, so it's like a party and an art opening all at once. It was a nice big house too, not our little apartment.

It's getting late, and I want these party people to leave my bedroom. But then here comes dad standing by the door way, drunk. He's swaying back and forth, and it's making me real uneasy. He comes stumbling towards me, and I don't like it. So I fly out my window.

I'm standing on the curbside with my sister and others. We all want to leave this crazy party. But then I get worried about my precious paintings. Damn, those drunks are going to ruin my paintings! I fly back into my bedroom but it's completely empty.

My dream fades into a new one

Goddess of the Dried Lake
I fly out the back window into a surreal landscape. It's a garden right outside my bedroom window. But the garden is fake, like in the Truman show, the sky is really a painted wall.

A voice speaks to me and makes me lucid "Find the Goddess of the Dried Lake"

I see an image of the dried lake beneath me. There are round ripples in the dried mud. The mud itself glistened with a rainbow of colors. Kind of like when you can see a rainbow in grease spills, except this was dried mud. It was beautiful actually.

The voice then tells me that a man will help me find the Goddess of the Dried Lake. She gives me a name, but I don't remember the name . Even during the dream I kept having to repeat the name because I kept remembering it wrong. All I know is when I woke up, I realized the name was the name of a mineral.

So I've got my dream goal! Find the Goddess of the Dried Lake! I flew and flew and flew and flew and flew! Through houses and hallways, hotels, malls, cities, and towns. I had no real plan

I fly through a valley hoping I'd see signs of a dried lake. Instead I found this weird man-made construction with giant rubbery-plastic pipes. They were minty-green in color. It sort of looked like a giant freakish car engine. Except it's the size of a house. I didn't like it! I try to transform into a gargoyle but the most I get are claws. I rip apart the plastic pipes while growling! Some random DCs see me and are shocked that I destroy this.....thing. What ever it was.

I fly away satisfied I destroyed the freakish engine.

I'm over another town. I'll never find the dried lake at this rate! I need to go up. Just as I think that I start to float higher and higher and higher, as if I'm on an invisible elevator. Soon I can see the whole city below me for miles and miles, and it's surrounding country side. That must be where the dried lake is!

I fly into a forest.

It's magically enchanting! The trees were so tall and lush I couldn't see the sky, only a few streaks of blue and white. I fly deeper into the beautiful forest and I'm greeted by a group of stags. They had gentle kind faces and seemed to like me. Their antlers were so long and intricate! I admire their antlers by stroking them.



It goes completely over my head that I've entered my Inner Sanctuary, a dream goal I've set up for myself. The first time I entered my Inner Sanctuary, a friendly stag greeted me and introduced me to the forest.

Instead I think "No! Don't get distracted! You have to find the dried lake!" Me idiot!

I fly out of the beautiful forest. My dream search gets more desperate and desperate. I'm flying through bedrooms into bedrooms, into closets into closets. And now I feel like time is running out, and DCs are after me. I lose control, I forget why I was flying or what I'm looking for. And then I wake up.

Who is the Goddess of the Dried Lake and who is the man who is supposed to help me find her?

June 20, 2010 - I'm up to date now!

Synopsis: First dream random. In the second dream, after trying to shop for dad I get accused of stealing! Third dream. In a war torn world, I remain the faithful student of a buddha, using my powerful psychokinetic gift to help stop the violence. But me and my partner are considered freaks, and the very city we love to protect turns on us! Only my teacher can help me now.

Night Time Note: Tonight was the first night I did my Dolphin Dream Mantra. But when it came time to visualizing, it was hard to focus on the ocean.

Dream Recall
I woke up. I couldn't really remember my dream anymore. But I just wrote what came to my head anyways. I'm making a painting of a dolphin. There is a rich man, evil man, who hired a hitman. Or someone hired a hitman to kill him.

Father's Day and Thieving at Work
I'm working alone. Where is everyone else? My sister is here with me to help me pick out some art supplies for my dad. I thought today would be a quiet day at work - but I'm getting swamped by costumers! And, I realize that I'm picking out all the wrong things. These brushes and paints won't do. I need to get the list I've left at home.

I leave the art supply store with my sister at 3pm. That means I closed the store two hours earlier than normal. I hope my boss doesn't yell at me. I get home and I've got my list. I start flying back to the art supply store. That's when I become slightly lucid and remember - wait - it is Father's Day. Were closed today! So I opened the store and suffered annoying costumers for no reason.

But I didn't come completely lucid. I still thought I could buy my dad some presents within the dream.

I get to the store, and all the other employees are here. What's going on? My boss frowns and explains this costumer wants to sue the entire store, for millions! She claims that I STOLED her anatomy art book. Me? What? I didn't steal anything!

I can hear her mouthing away with the cops. Painting a story that were horrible employees, doped up and drunken, and how I'm the worst one having stole her anatomy art book. Now the millions she's asking for would close this store for good! I tell her frankly - You're a lying bitch!

This whole dream was getting ridiculous. The cops approach me and I tell my side of the story. I did bring an anatomy art book home, because I brought it to work. It's not mine, but it belongs to my dad. They want proof. FINE! I storm out to go get my anatomy art book. Then I wake up. Remembering I wasn't going to buy art supplies for dad anyways. Stupid dream.

Psychokinetic Detective
It's the 1940's, it's the second world war. And everyone has a thick New York accent. Me and my partner are detectives. But because of our unique background, we are not well liked. Thanks to my teacher, I'm gifted with psychokinetic powers - all for the name of peace of course. My partner is actually my pupil, as well as a good friend. (reoccurring dream character)

You can find my mysterious teacher in our equally strange apartment. Everything in our apartment is shimmering, and sparkling, a cross between pearls and slug slime. Bright colors. And glowing bubbles are coming from the bathtub. where of all places, is where I meet my teacher. He's this glowing presence standing in the center of my bubbling bathtub. I only see him once in the dream before heading out on my adventure.

There's a nasty war going on. Enemy tanks parade the streets. And our idiot government thinks blasting them away with aerial bombs is the best defense. As if the aerial bombs don't destroy our city! A timed series of blasts, earth shaking, the sky lighting up. Some where another part of the city has been blown up.

I'm flying in a helicopter with my partner and other city cops. Normies, I call them. We're surveying the area.

"Look!"

In a ghetto part of town, enemy tanks were lining up. I could hear the cops calling in the find, so the soldier boys can drop their damn bombs. I had to do something!! I hold out my palm, and using my powers I move the tanks! The tanks roll over, upside down, rendered useless. I moved some of them too quickly, and you can hear the sound of steel crashing. I hoped I didn't injure the men inside, even if they were our enemies.

When we land, some of the cops and soldier boys seemed annoyed with what I did. My gift makes them uncomfortable. As we survey on foot, we run into more enemy tanks. And again, before the boys can call in the find, I move the tanks and render them useless. It's not always easy for me, so I'm glad the tanks move slow. The normies are sneering and sizing me up!

I ask my partner "Did I do the right thing?"

He smiles warmly and says "Yes. 'Teach would be proud."

That's right. I had to keep reminding myself who my teacher was. A pacifist, a buddha, my teacher wouldn't want me to use my gift any other way. I had to be careful when moving the tanks not to use too much force.

Were done patrolling! All the enemy tanks have been destroyed, or rendered useless thanks to me. The government declares the war over! Victory! And the once empty streets are starting to fill with people. But as we walk back to the station we pass by one very tiny overlooked street.

We ran into one last enemy tank. No big deal, just one tank, and it's a tiny tank too. We'll get rid of it while the city celebrates. But before I could even hold out my palm, the tank races towards us. It was coming so fast - we had to run or be run over! I had no idea a tank could move this fast! Is this the enemy's new secret weapon?

The cops pull out their guns but they're useless. My partner runs too slow and the tank attacks him. He's down! Damn, I have to do something. I stand in the middle of the street and hold my palm. I know by the time I can focus on moving the tank, the tank will fire. The tank flips overs!! It's energy beam hits me! But it feels like sticky taffy? What is this? My partner gets up and wipes himself clean.

We recollect ourselves and run around the corner. Checking every street, waiting anxiously for the next dangerously fast tank. Nothing.

The General comes, I quickly warn him the city is in danger. He drives me to the hospital himself. I assumed it was to make sure this sticky goo didn't infect me with something freaky. But when I get there I realize, this is a nut house! The nurses and clerks look at me with distaste. The cops who escorted me look pleased. They've probably have been waiting for the day for a freak like me to be locked up.

"What's going on!" I demand as the cops sign me in.

The General comes in and explains"I'm sorry. But I had to do this. I talked to my boys and they said there was no tank! There is no enemy secret weapon."

They look at me with those eyes. The eyes you use to size up a crazy man. "No! You're men are lying! They've been waiting to lock me up!"

They drag my partner in with handcuffs, he looks defeated. I yell "Ask him! Did you see the tank?"

He looks up with sad eyes "Yes, I did!" And they take him away to a cell.

I slam my hand on the table. "Dammit General!! There were four people out there. Now me and my partner say we saw a tank. Your boys say they didn't. That's two and two. That's a 50 and 50 chance the tank is and isn't real. You have no choice but to investigate yourself! That tank fired something strange. It would have left a residue. Look for it!"

The General storms out of the room with the rest of the cops. The clerks tinker away with their paper work. I'm sure they're trying to find me a room. Well, hopefully the General will do the right thing, and realize the city is in danger. Tap-tap-tap.

I can see the General's head peaking from the back door. I sneak back there and he opens the back door for me. "I know you're not crazy. But the city is in denial. We'll have to work in secret."

He leads me away. Where once were long streets of the city, are now long corridors and hallways. We've set up in the corner of the hallway. Waiting anxiously for the next dangerous tank. I've left my partner behind, he could use a break. The General and some ladies go through piles of paper work. Looking for clues of an enemy experiment. When they find something unsettling.

It's a newspaper clipping years ago, about a mad scientist trying to create psychokinetic monsters. The ladies look at me with those eyes. I shake my head "That's propaganda!"

Something catches my attention. My spider senses are going off! I look down the hallway. "General, something is coming." It's outside. Coming closer and closer. My heart is beginning to race. "What is it?" I look passed the hallway, passed the exit door. It's a mob!

"A mob of angry people are coming for this building. They have no weapons, only their bear fists and grinding teeth." I can see them on top the hillside coming closer and closer. The General stands up. "Who are they? Can you read their minds? Are they our citizens? Are they the enemy?"

The General wants to know whether he can open fire on them or not. But I can't allow him to fire either way. "I don't know. Theres too many minds. All I sense is their anger and hatred! They're coming!"

The exit door bursts open! I jump in front of the angry mob, leading them safely away from the General and the others. I let the mob chase me after hallway and hallway. There's so many of them! I use my powers to knock one man off his feet, trying to slow the mob down. But they trample him to death! Crap! My teacher isn't going to like that.

I fly! I fly faster and take a sharp turn. Losing the mob. I hide in a room. What should I do? I look outside the window. I know what to do, I have to lead them back outside. The mob has dispersed. Attacking anyone they run into. I fly into a clerks office. She is a black woman with curly hair (reoccurring dream character). She doesn't like me very much.

"I know I know. This is my mess. I need you to do something. Tell the angry mob that I'm waiting for them outside."

"And you think they'll just go?"

"Of course, they're here for me. Go and tell them!"

She tells her assistant to carry out the task instead. The assistant does as told.

I fly outside. I need high ground. So I fly to higher roof. And a higher roof. I call to my partner to help me. He flies to me and stands by my side. The first angry mobster comes stumbling out of the building. He flies up to where I am. I had no idea normies could fly! He snarls and hisses like a beast! I focus energy into my hands, when I do, my partner disappears (reoccurring theme).

He attacks me! I grab his face with my hands, and draw out the evil energy possessing him! "Be free!!" Lol..exorcism. The man is free from the evil within him. He goes limp, and falls to the floor. Two angry mobsters come out. And I have to act even quicker. But the next group was about ten angry mobsters. Crap. Too many. I can't handle them all!

I fly away and I fly even higher. But they keep up with me. Screaming, taunting me. Without realizing I had flown all the way back to my glowing iridescent apartment. That's it!! I can't handle them, but if there is one person who can heal this angry mob it's my teacher.

The glowing magical bubbles surround me. The angry mob gets closer and closer, hissing, snarling, cursing. I start to sing a lullaby to lure them in. . . . . "Oh holy room of wonders!"

Then I wake up