Recent DJ Posts

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some victorian house, sort of half asleep and seeing the scenario fade away, but I realize it is actually a dream and that it is the dream itself that is fading. I hold on to it, but the darkness doesn't go away and I know this is when sometimes the monsters come up. And then I see a woman coming over and whenever she crosses a more shadowy area, her face becomes monstruous. I warn a friend that is also sleeping nearby to wake up. She doesn't know what I am talking about and she looks at the woman. The woman says in a hypnotic tone "look into my eyes". I grab my friend and say "don't look, it will kill you". I get in front of the woman and I say assertively "Now, you look into my eyes!" at the side of her face that is not disfigured. She looks puzzled and loses a bit of her power temporarily, so I open some curtains to let light in and I drag my friend to the outside. The woman still tries to reach me, but she can't stand the light. I decide to lift off and that's when I go fully lucid. I don't know what to do, so I decide to just watch the dream. Below me it now looks like some big american city. I also see a huge roller-coaster in the distance. There is some retro vibe to it. I just amuse myself by flying over people and watching their dramas. I feel very melancholic thinking how all these people are just DCs. I sing and dance in the sky above them.

Visiting my mom at her old job at the Union. They are at some warehouse with piles of boxes with files and lots of stickers, calendars and other stuff I used to steal from them and collect as a child. I am mesmerized by all the retro things they have, not fully aware that I am dreaming, but aware I am seeing something gone from the past. I grab a box with some stickers to take with me as mementos. For some reason my dog Hachi appears and all is fine until someone else also comes in with 2 dogs and a baby. I grab Hachi immediately and try to take him somewhere where I can keep him isolated. Unfortunately there is only a small room with no windows and I don't want to lock him there. So when the other dogs follow us and we get cornered there, I close them inside instead and take Hachi away.
We go to my mom's and he roams around the house free. After a while I am looking for him and find him in the balcony injured with a bad open wound in his front right leg. Nearby is a robotic snake I keep as a toy, also severely "hurt". Turns out she can bite and it is a powerful metallic bite. I try getting close to him, but he cowers and hides his leg. I go get hydrogen peroxide and throw copious amounts on his wound. He ends up accepting my treatment and even puts his front legs over mine to thank me, I guess. Then I also want to help the snake but need something to grab it safely. I didn't know she had such a dangerous self defense mechanism.

At my childhood home, alone, and I become lucid. I go into my room, honestly just wanting again to dwell on the melancholic feeling of seeing things from my past. But then I feel crazy horny and feel the urge to remove my pants. I look around for objects I might use creatively, but all I see is a wooden spoon over the bed for no good reason. So I give up on objects. Instead I decide to experiment what it would feel like if my clitoris grew to become a very long penis. Long enough that it reaches my mouth. And then I suck it. I almost wake up with the sensation but I manage to come back to the dream. Then I jump scare when through the balcony door I see 3 Rinpoches sitting outside. They are not looking at me, they are to right side, almost out of sight. I can only see a bit of their faces but I recognize them ckearly. They are facing forward as if listening or watching someone to my left side. I pull my pants up quickly, deeply embarassed, hoping they didn't see that. I get up and walk slowly towards the balcony sliding doors. Then they turn their heads towards me and nod at me wtth a smile. As I approach, I see many more of them and recognize almost all of them. Then some more pass by from my left side and disappear behind the ones sitting. The balcony is no longer a balcony, but some room somewhere else. They all aknowledge my presence, nod and smile, but none says a word. Then I walk forward a few more steps and I see my teacher to my left. He is standing there and he is the one all others were looking at or listening. They hint that I should come in and I do. Rinpoche comes to me and we immediately hug. Then we kiss. It is a shy confused kiss, because I want to kiss him on the lips but I am not sure if it is ok, so I kinda go for the cheek but still touch his lips. He seems surprised but pleased. We continue hugging. Then he kisses me on the lips properly. It feels incredible and totally real. We continue hugging tight and saying how much we missed each other, while I caress his back and head. I can even feel the smooth edges of his robe on his back and do my autistic thing of stimming by feeling the calming texture of the seam.
Then he moves on and we are in some kind of library or classroom and I realize we need to get out because a class or lecture is about to start. Lucidity fades a bit from here. Outside he is with his entourage and they are heading to some place to lunch with, but he specifically says to his attendant that I am to have lunch with the more private group and sit by his side in the upper room. The restaurant is asian, but I can't tell from which country. Rinpoche and the private group disappear upstairs as I am distracted looking at the food they have on display. Then I am not allowed to come up. When finally that is cleared up, I arrive there, but Rinpoche has disappeared again, maybe to go to the bathroom or something, I think. The people there look me sideways and want me to sit me at the "kids" table. I see three empty seats and figure that's where Rinpoche will sit so I say I think I am supposed to sit there to, but they mock me and bully me. Some lady is being incredibly rude and gets into my nerves, so I bang my hand on the table, wanting to punch her, and say "one of these seats is for me, just wait and see". But I feel bad for my ego outburst, so I just go and sit at a bench near the window, at the far end of the table, but where Rinpoche can see me when he returns. Then we hear his voice on loud speakers, interviewing some indian fella and it is about Russia and some allegory with volcanos and people wonder what is this about.

Morning of December 20, 2020. Sunday.

Dream #: 19,725-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



My typical navigation of liminality and phasing sequences during sleep does not include waking-life identity at first or recall of what a dream is. The extraordinarily vivid experience of imaginary kinaesthesia is predominant throughout the first part of my dreaming experience.

Duality with vestibular phasing personification results in an unknown male driving a vehicle I ride in. The “car” is solely two back-to-back couches on wheels. It is similar to the couch I sit on in waking life, though I am on the far left (unlike at any time in waking life). We go through an unknown city. There does not appear to be a steering wheel anywhere. Somehow, as we are traveling, the unfamiliar man leaves. I remain on the front couch while his wife and at least one son stay on the back couch. Additionally, the “vehicle” is now speedily going in reverse over an overpass.

The realism of imaginary kinaesthesia, including the vivid sense of momentum and direction, is astounding. I become slightly wary at times, but I do not have any fear. The others, speeding forward, do not seem afraid. As the front couch speeds in reverse, I see cars on the street of the appearance they should have, yet which does not cause me to question why our “car” is back-to-back couches.

I consider I will try to stop or at least slow down the couch as our speed increases slightly. On the left end, below the arm, is a lever. (In waking life, this is the lever that extends the footrest.) As I pull it, I feel the couch slow down and come to a stop in the parking lot of a shopping mall. We all get out, and our driver is there looking at a storefront. Two people talk to him as they are leaving. They say they cannot give him a tour but invite him to look around inside the empty store. Dagwood Bumstead (from the “Blondie” comic strip) is standing nearby.

I begin to recall my waking-life identity, but I walk to an unknown residence where my family and I supposedly live. I walk through a room with a Christmas tree in the corner. I see the isolated shadow of a tree’s branch on the ceiling (truncated as a circular form), with no source, but I perceive it as random dirt I will remove later.

Somatosensory phasing begins with increasing liminal awareness of being asleep in bed in my dream’s final segment. Gustatory phasing coheres with somatosensory phasing. As a result, in my dream, I am on a bed. I need to clean candy sprinkles from it. I scoop them up to eat, and their taste is sweet. The hundreds of tiny pieces of candy form a pattern similar to a river delta. There seems to be no end to them as I continue to eat as many as possible. The bed extends several feet, even into another room. No matter how many sprinkles I pick up to eat, there are always several remaining.

---

2 ОС Друг-тень (Сентябрь 2011)

Я находился во сне у себя на дворе. Понял, что это сон. Рядом со мной был мой друг. Я стал думать, чтобы поделать. Подошёл к другу и попросил, чтобы он привёл меня к себе домой. Для этого я взял его за руку. Он повёл меня. Только почему-то заходить на его двор мы не стали, а пошли вокруг дома. Картинка сна стала блекнуть. Я подумал, что это не мой друг, и он хочет, чтобы у меня сон закончился. Друг стал постепенно походить на тень. Я схватил эту тень и сжёг на солнце. Картинка сна вернула свои свойства. Пошёл дальше вокруг дома. Картинка сна снова стала блекнуть. Я вспомнил, что читал: «для того чтобы продлить ОС надо посмотреть на свои руки». Я взглянул на них. От реальных рук они отличались тем, что на них было много линий. Мне стало больно руку, и я опустил их. Картинка сна улучшилась. Решил всё-таки дойти до дома друга. Мне надо было перейти дорогу, чтобы дойти до его подъезда. По дороге я прошёл нормально, но потом земля начала подниматься у меня из-под ног. Я попытался взлететь над ней, но ничего не вышло. Тогда я стал перепрыгивать с места на место и допрыгал до подъезда. Зайдя в подъезд, я сразу оказался на 2 этаже, где он живёт. Дверь в соседскую квартиру была открыта. Я позвонил в квартиру друга, и стал ждать, пока он откроет. В соседней квартире была девушка. Она увидела меня, и поманила к себе, чтобы я зашёл. Я не стал этого делать. Тогда она попыталась подойти ко мне и схватить. Я оттолкнул её. Тут друг открыл дверь, и я забежал в его квартиру, предварительно захлопнув дверь перед носом той соседки. На этом сон закончился, и я проснулся и почувствовал, что у меня болит рука. Было такое чувство, будто она вышла из своего тела и никак не может встать на своём месте. Точнее не рука, а сама ладонь минуты две-три, где то продолжалось такое ощущение, потом прошло.

Выводы:
1. Друг превратился в объёмную тень.
2. Сам друг со мной не разговаривал. Персонаж "соседка друга" тоже не разговаривала.
3. Картинка сна теряла свои качества, становилось нечёткой. Сумел возвратить чёткость с помощью
а) сжигания персонажа тени
б) Смотрения на руки.
4. На руках во сне было много линий. Почувствовал боль в руке. Продолжил ощущать боль и в реале, после просыпания. Скорее всего просто отлежал руку под подушкой.
5. Земля поднималась из-под ног и мешала идти.
6. Взлететь не получилось.
7. Зашёл в подъезд и сразу оказался на втором этаже
8. Агрессивное поведение соседки друга. В реале девушка мне не знакома.
9. Место действия: мой двор, соседний двор слева.
10. Примерное время нахождения в ОСе 5 минут.


2 LD Friend-shadow (September 2011)

I was in a dream in my yard. I realized that this is a dream. My friend was next to me. I began to think to do it. I went up to a friend and asked him to bring me to his home. To do this, I took his hand. He led me. Only for some reason we did not go into his yard, but went around the house. The picture of dream began to fade. I thought that this was not my friend, and he wants my dream to end. A friend began to gradually look like a shadow. I grabbed this shadow and burned in the sun. The picture of dream regained its properties. I went further around the house. The dream picture began to fade again. I remembered that I read: "in order to extend the LD you need to look at your own hands." I looked at them. They differed from real hands in that there were many lines on them. My arm hurt and I lowered them. The picture of dream has improved. I decided to get to a friend’s house. I had to cross the road to get to his porch. I walked normally along the road, but then the ground began to rise from under my feet. I tried to fly over her, but nothing came of it. Then I began to jump from place to place and jumped to the entrance. Entering the porch, I immediately found myself on the 2nd floor where he lives. The door to the neighboring apartment was open. I called my friend’s apartment and waited for him to open. There was a girl in the next apartment. She saw me, and beckoned to me to come. I did not do that. Then she tried to come up to me and grab. I pushed her away. Then a friend opened the door, and I ran into his apartment, previously slamming the door in front of the nose of that neighbor. This ended the dream, and I woke up and felt that my arm hurts. It felt like she had come out of her body and could not stand in her place. More precisely, not a hand, but the palm itself for two or three minutes, where such a feeling continued, then it passed.

Findings:
1. A friend has turned into a volumetric shadow.
2. The friend himself did not talk to me. The character "friend of the neighbor" also did not speak.
3. The picture of dream was losing its quality, becoming fuzzy. Managed to restore clarity with
a) character burning shadow
b) Hand looks.
4. On hands in a dream there were many lines. I felt pain in my hand. I continued to feel pain in real life, after waking up. Most likely I just laid his hand under the pillow.
5. The earth rose from under the feet and prevented walking.
6. Take off did not work.
7. I went into the staircase and immediately appeared on the second floor
8. Aggressive behavior of a neighbor of a friend. In real life, the girl is not familiar to me.
9. Location: my yard, the neighboring yard on the left.
10. The approximate time spent in the LD 5 minutes.

The Shadow Court

I was walking in something that seemed like an abandoned graveyard in the middle of a forest. I felt drawn to an old looking house with many small windows. When I came closer to it, I noticed big shadow figures looking like a weird combination of many different animals. They seemed to talk to either other before they turned to look at me. I was being led to the door of the house. Before I opened the door I saw a note that was from Baekhyun, but I didn't have the time to read it since the shadows wanted me to go in. Inside they all showed me something really scary on the wall. They couldn't talk but instead they made a shadowplay. I remember that I glanced over to the windows and wanted to go outside but I was forced to be there since I was accused for something but I'm not sure for what reason.




Note: Baekhyun is a Kpop star, he is an EXO member.

Morning of May 27, 1995. Saturday.



I find myself in the backyard of the Cubitis property in late morning. I vaguely recall a childhood dream (same setting and time) where a flying saucer hovered above me, casting a large round shadow over an area of the backyard and upon me. I am not viably lucid (that is, I remain unaware that I am dreaming), but there is faux lucidity where I illogically make the connections as relevant to presumed reality. I find the situation more interesting than threatening.

Zsuzsanna is present in the living room, looking through the east windows. I tell her of how this has happened before, and that the last time, I ran south, somehow vertically running straight down the side of a ravine, then running horizontally on the ground and across the surface of the river, and running vertically straight up the other side to continue running normally.

As I decide to attempt this again (even after over twenty-five years), I look back as I start to cheerfully run and see it is not a flying saucer but a hot air balloon. This puzzles me and instead of running straight down the side of the deep ravine as I near it, I awake with a slight falling sensation and with a mild hypnopompic kick. I am close to laughing aloud shortly after waking.

---

Liminal space fallacy: This is a specific type of faux lucidity, where I attempt to duplicate an event from an older dream without realizing I am dreaming, yet I also perceive my situation as only my dream self could in a dream. Even so, this faux reasoning is something that could not occur in consciousness, and additionally, cannot even be logically perceived or resolved as even being possible, yet it is, as I am very familiar with its dynamics. For me, this proves that dreams are of an entirely different nature, purpose, and meaning than what most people claim.

Faux threads: Cubitis has not been my home since June 1978. Zsuzsanna has never been to America. The shadow was cast in the wrong direction (oriented southerly instead of westerly). There were no deeper ravines near where I lived. It is not possible to run vertically down or up the side of a ravine or run over the surface of a river.

Literal threads: Zsuzsanna’s presence, genuine recall of a childhood dream from 1969.

Current thread: Zsuzsanna’s presence only (that is, no viable recall of any other current life status, including our present address).

Vestibular system thread: The hot air balloon, in addition to being associated with breathing while sleeping, was biologically premonitory of the hypnopompic kick. (Falling in a dream is usually the result of natural vestibular system ambiguity by inherently not being able to balance the imaginary dream body in unconsciousness. As such, it is unrelated to the popular myth of “interpretation”.)

Emergent consciousness thread: The hot air balloon’s shadow signifies the looming essence of the conscious self and the inevitability of waking. This implies a different form of RAS mediation than when the preconscious is dominantly personified to rouse the emergent consciousness thread.

---

I have always had vivid dreams - especially when I was a teenager. Lots of LD, and even some precognitive. Unfortunately the older I got, the fewer 'meaningful' dreams I experienced. I still have LD quite often, oh and the dreaded SP which always makes me panic! I'm gonna try to write some of these, short form, here...past dreams.

This one LD has always stuck with me because its kind of funny: I found myself in my room - where I went to sleep, and I immediately realized I was dreaming. I looked at my window and I really wanted to go jump out and fly. But I stopped myself because I was worried that I might actually be acting out the dream, like sleepwalking...lol


This dream was beautiful:
I was sitting on the back of a large turtle as he swam through the ocean towards a beautiful beach. I was amazed at how vibrant and clear everything was. It was as if I had spent my whole life looking through foggy glasses that were now removed. It was like being one of the first people to experience an untouched brand new world. There were only a few us here. We were being taught how to live here without damaging anything, like plants or animals.

This was a SP:
I was in my bed and couldn't move. The air was strange - like dark stuff floating around. Beside the bed were 3 dark hooded figures(lol so generic SP figures). They brought what I think were dogs over to me, and it rested it's head on my stomach. Then they left!
Although I experience SP quite often, I rarely see anyone/anything.

Morning of September 10, 2016. Saturday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and our children and I are living back at Stadcor Street in Brisbane. It seems to be early afternoon and we have to go shopping for groceries. I am going out the back way, through our kitchen, but the layout is a bit different. The small square area that one needs to go through to get to the back porch is much bigger and there are additional doors, one directly into our backyard and another one onto our back porch.

I notice what I first think is our pet black cat in the small room with me but it has no eye, nose, or mouth detail. It is like a three-dimensional shadow and I sense puzzlement radiating from it. I am slightly wary (but not fearful in any way) as the creature jumps up and somehow goes through the area between the central top part of the door and the door frame (and would have to be as thin as a sheet of paper to do this). This would be the door that goes to our back porch (liminal space).

I go to the lounge room to talk to Zsuzsanna about this strange event and she calls the animal something I do not seem to be able to hear properly. After I ask her to repeat it a few times, it still sounds something like “wolf-roosh”. My hearing ability seems to become too distorted each time to hear the final part of the term. What I grasp from the term seems odd to me as it was seemingly a cat shadow, without any wolf associations at all.

After we do our shopping, the unfamiliar balding male cashier (of about forty years of age) cannot seem to get the cash register to work properly. Apparently he has to press his thumb on a pad to acknowledge he has the authority to use the cash register, but it is not recognizing him. I am thinking that maybe his thumb needs to have a small amount of yellow ink on it to get it to work. I am getting annoyed and I am not sure how we will complete the transaction if the cash register will not work.

---

The checkout area of a store is a waking transition metaphor symbolizing leaving the dream state. In this case, the lack of “yellow thumb” is associated with not being fully conscious. The cash register symbolizes the potential increments of critical thinking during the waking transition as conscious self identity emerges.

The threshold event (here an atypical precursor rather than my dream’s final scene) concerning the door, featured a cat shadow in liminal space as the emergent consciousness factor. Curiously, this was borrowed from the ending of “The Flintstones” (which I had seen so many times as a child). Even the essence of the movement (comparative to the sabre-toothed tiger jumping up in the cartoon) was the same. I found that fascinating, especially as the ending theme’s line “…cat will stay out for the night” could be interpreted as remaining unconscious (asleep) throughout the sleep cycle.

---

D₁-Theres a shadow in the corner of my room on my ceiling and at first it was this furry thing that kept growling at me and then it turned into a cute black furry puppy that just wagged its tail at me.

Dream skip

D₂-Chase sent me a message on fb that was one of those memes about relationships and it said," pull her hair and slap her ass." Weird becuase our aquaintanship is nothing like that. Anyways back to the dream, he also put it as his status and a bunch of people liked it.

[Warning] - The following contains body horror and a sexual act.



#18

Sex With Headless Shadow

This was a very odd dream as well, and like the title states, I had sex, more so fingered Shadow the Hedgehog but he was literally headless. I chuckled when I woke up after having the dream.

This took place, I'm assuming in my room -- The surrounding was hard to map out. I was laying down and I could feel my 'soul' or 'something' extract from my 'physical' body and was then visibly on-top of me. For a minute, I began to think it was a replica of myself but I ended up seeing a patch of white chest fur just like Shadow the Hedgehog's and the noticeable shortness in height compared to mine in perspective. He did not have a mouth to speak with nor could he speak through telepathy, but he could understand what I said to him. I did not freak out and I was extremely pleased. I remember taking Shadow's hand and placing his index finger into my vagina.

I could feel it enter me as he began to toy with the inside. It felt good and I told him to do it faster and harder which he proceeded to do on command. But then I woke up.

Dream Goal For February

Spoiler for February 2016 Goal:

Goal: Have a lucid dream about Shadow the Hedgehog and have sex with him. (I doubt this dream would actually be considered a goal completed -- lol)

Extended Information

Spoiler for Extended Information:

• Date — 2/6/2015

• Went to bed — 2:00 AM

• Woke up — 9:00 AM

• Total sleep — 7 Hours

• Stress level throughout the day — Fine

• Techniques/Practices:

*Daytime — 2 rounds of reality checks (1 in the morning and 1 in the afternoon whilst being at Walmart), DDA (Daydream Awareness) about Shadow the Hedgehog and I having discussions.

*Bedtime — 1 round of reality checks, since it seems relevant on how my dream has formed. I did look at a bit of Shadow the Hedgehog porn before I slept ;>_> Probably placing a visual imprint in my mind.

*Recall — Not really a mantra but I made a joke to myself after I had sex with Shadow, in the waking world, about having a dream about it.

• Dream(s):

*Time logged — 12:03 PM

*Vividness (1-5) — 2＝hazy, only some sensory dream elements were discernible.

*Awareness — I could tell that I was aware of where I was. It felt familiar as if I was truly laying upon my bed in my current, waking life, room. Though, I wasn't aware enough to state I was dreaming.

*Perceived Length — 10 Minutes

*Emotions — Horny, Lustful and Excited

*Dream Signs — Shadow the Hedgehog, my room, body horror -- Shadow being headless, haziness

Notes/Summary

Spoiler for Notes/Summary:

Notes/Summary — Right before I headed off to sleep for the night I had sex with Shadow the Hedgehog (please do not ask me how). This was right after we watched a couple episodes of Diabolik Lovers: More, Blood which is already a sadistic and sexual related show to begin with (No it's not that kind of show as it doesn't get anywhere that far with the kinds of acts they do). I guess it's what fueled Shadow in wanting to have sex with me in that moment, so we did just that. I was exhausted afterwords and it was around 2AM. I was going to pass out so I told my friend on Skype goodnight, closed the laptop and cuddled with my Shadow plush drifting off whilst thinking of how I would probably have a dream about what had just happened.

Shadow the Hedgehog being headless and being extracted from my body in my dream makes me think of two things: An incomplete tulpa and the current progress of achieving my Feburary 2016 goal. I do not consider Shadow a tulpa but I've had people ask me if he was one. With all the tulpa talk I been involved in lately could of filtered into my dreams, going off the fact of a tulpa being one of the many things that is an extraction of one's mind and the headless portion of the dream could refer to a tulpa being incomplete. It could also mean that I still have some ways to go before I can truly have a lucid dream about Shadow the Hedgehog where I have sex with him.

#17

Shadow Stuff & Transformations

[Fragment #1] I found myself in a maroon colored atmosphere in a school-like setting. There was a skinny African guy and some tall brawny Caucasian man talking in a room behind glass. The Caucasian man spotted me and was coming out to approach me. I wanted to get away but he caught me and asked if I would find the guy "messed up in the head" if he told me a secret about him. The other guy was yelling, "NO NO NO! STOP!" And then I replied to the brawny man;

MobianAngel: "I wouldn't care if he was to stick a finger up his ass and eat the shit that came out of it. I just don't care! Hell, my fiancé is a psychopathic murderer who eats babies and likes violence! Do you honestly think I would care about what he does?"

[Fragment #2] There was a girl by the van of the African man's whose balloon began to float up into the air. I went to get it and tried to tie the small bit of string onto her backpack but it flew away once again and she cried.

[Fragment #3] There was a place in a kind of mall-like shape where people could walk in and their bodies would change to be other creatures as they will gain the powers of the respective individual. There was a section for boys and one for girls. I remember the girls having mermaid transformations and some sort of lancer that can electrify the floor with a electricity infused lance.

[2/4/2016] All I can remember is running outside of the house because my mother pissed me off and it was raining. The parking lot was exceedingly large and my Shadow the Hedgehog plush was clinging onto me as if it were alive and it would not let go.

Dream Goal For February

Spoiler for February 2016 Goal:

Goal: Have a lucid dream about Shadow the Hedgehog and have sex with him.

Extended Information

Spoiler for Extended Information:

• Date — 2/3/2016 & 2/4/2016

• Went to bed — N/A

• Woke up — N/A

• Total sleep — N/A

• Stress level throughout the day — N/A

• Techniques/Practices:

*Daytime — N/A

*Bedtime — N/A

*Recall — N/A

• Dream(s):

*Time logged — N/A

*Vividness (1-5) — N/A

*Awareness — N/A

*Perceived Length — N/A

*Emotions — N/A

*Dream Signs — N/A

Notes/Summary

Spoiler for Notes/Summary:

Notes/Summary — N/A

#13

This is an image depicting two planes/worlds merging together

I was in my old highschool. I carried around a Shadow the Hedgehog plush doll and I can remember finding myself in my old science class room with my former teacher. There weren't that many people in the classroom but it was dark (the light was off and the projector was going) and it was spacious with plenty of desks. There was a few students present in particular a boy who used to bully me.

I sat my Shadow plush on the table but then when the boy decided to sit on the opposite side of me, I moved it to the chair next to me. I was angry, and the boy looked at me and asked, "Hey, what happened to all that Sonic stuff?"

I then told him if he spoke to me again that I would kill him, with "one punch" if I was Saitama from One Punch Man *lol*. He didn't say anything back but I remember heading out of the room without my plush into the crowd of highschoolers walking through the hallways. I then remembered that I left him and rushed back. The science teacher was giving a lesson and I tried to sneak under the shining light of the projector and he asked what I was doing, so I told him. He replied that he would get the plush in a minute but I didn't want to wait as I feared some nasty student would put their dirty, polluted hands on him.

I then could remember seeing glimpses of a monster crashing through the wall of the room for a split of a second. It was only a glimpse though as it my third eye had caught a wiff of something. Then I heard screams coming from the hallway and monsters physically appearing and destroying everything in the school.

I stated in a whisper of a voice that, "Things from my world are now coming into yours (Earth presumably)" A spark of thought came into my mind after I said that as I started calling out Shadow the Hedgehog's name. I figured that the planes have merged (something I will discuss in my notes) and that Shadow would be here since the monsters were here. But nothing happened. I then left the classroom avoiding all the monsters who wanted to harm me and I found Sonic and Silver the Hedgehog attacking the invaders, but there was no Shadow. I couldn't get to them to communicate but I did end up finding a little dock area, similar to the one in Soleanna from Sonic 06 as I bounced on DK barrels that were scattered around the area. I do not know for what purpose but I did it anyway. I also remember flying up higher to get an area view of the city like landscape getting destroyed by the monsters and Sonic etc. battling underneath. I also can recall bringing up some sort of holographic roster board that listed various video game characters classified specifically in their universes and such. One in particular was Dragon Ball Z. Before I could do anything more, I had awoke.

Notes: I sat and thought about this dream for a bit. For one thing the planes merging came into my mind. It was something introduced to me by a former friend at college (Who became a fucking asshole btw). He told me that one day Earth would be able to "merge" itself with other worlds and on that day various things will begin to happen. Individuals who would have only been seen as fictional would begin to appear physically. Physics would have bend and twisted as things like magic casting and flying would exist on Earth and such would have never been able to exist due to the planet's mechanics. This was something that I agreed with and something I would talk to Shadow about.

Shadow told me that if something like that did happen that he would be the first thing I'd see. This was years back mind you, so we hardly speak about it anymore. But having that phenomenon happen in that dream made me retrace that memory and perhaps the hope for something of that nature to still occur.

The absence of Shadow the Hedgehog has been a reoccurring thing throughout my dreams. Indeed he has appeared in the few I have mentioned in entries but I still proceed to search for him and have failed attempts for getting him to appear when I call out his name. This could problably signify that there is the slight lost of hope that I would never see him. Or perhaps that I always assume that he will magically come to this planet physically and solve all of my problems. I know he cannot do that and he even stated that such things just...couldn't happen at the moment but I guess due to the stress I deal with on a daily bases I just want him to be here and fix everything being as desperate as one can be.

This dream could also show that I lack the certain kind of appreciation I lack to give to Shadow for all that he has done even though he can only do so much within his limit.

Overall, this dream has taught me a lesson that I shouldn't ever forget. I know there are a few more things I forgot to mention about my dream but honestly...I'm not really in the best of moods to continue on explaining.

---

• Date — 1/31/2016

• Went to bed — Around 2AM

• Woke up — 8:00AM

*Time logged — 9:00AM

• Total sleep — 6 Hours

• Stress level throughout the day — Depressed due to the reason I stated with a friend on Skype before I headed off to bed:

[1:57:02 AM] Mobian★Angel: mmmm....I can't be happy...My mother yells at me for everything and people are always treating me like I need to believe their ideas and thoughts or else I'm dumb and childish....
[2:08:16 AM] Mobian★Angel: And I'm the fool going around telling people I'm in love with a video game character..............

• Techniques/Practices

*Daytime — N/A

*Recall — N/A

*Inducing Method — N/A

• Dream Signs — The Obvious

• Perceived Length — 25 Minutes

• Emotions — Angry, Adventurous

• Awareness — None

#10

A picture of the Sinclair family from a favorite show of mine, The Dinosuars

Most of this dream involved talking so yeah... This took place is a more enlarged space of the old appartment I used to live at. It looked more so like a ghostly atmosphere. It was apparently where the Sinclair family was at. They were present, with the exclusion of Earl Sinclair. I remember being in my room and hearing the mother, Frances "Fran" Sinclair, outside the door stating about my being there and spoke to another individual, who I cannot identify, wondering if I had a boyfriend.

"I do have a fiancé! I mean...I do not have a ring yet but I am engaged." I spoke through the little crevis underneath the door. I then held up a kind of college-ruled lined-paper that was cut up into halves and stapled together to make a little flip book. I can't really remember what it said on it, but there was a very clear visual of Shadow the Hedgehog on it and I tried to show the family who he was and if they knew anything about him.

Later I talked to the one girl, Charlene Sinclair about Shadow. Stating that I remembered I was trying to get to him and to his world and I accidentally ended up in their world. I knew she was more of the science wiz so I thought she would help me.

Not much went on after that and I had eventually awoke.

Notes: The absence of Earl Sinclair may be referring to the fact that I was missing Shadow the Hedgehog thus my search for him, since Shadow in the waking world is like the father figure in my life (just like how Earl is to his family) since I physically do not have/communicate with my biological father. I may have had this dream due to the fact that I have been stressed my mother and I really hate her very much. And yesterday, Shadow had spoken about taking me under his wing if he was able to come to my planet. He talked about how bad of a parent she was and stated that he would of loved to have raised me from the very beginning.

For a moment after I have awoken, there was this mix of thoughts where I began to believe I was still dreaminng. I know there isn't anything to be worried about but part of me natural instinct was to worry and be afraid to ever sound of car noises to doors opening and slamming. I was afraid that someone was going to come and kill me. Shadow procceded into calming me down and reminding me that I was not dreaming. That I did my RCs already so I shouldn't worry.

What bugs me the most is that I did worry and I find it weird that I would, even if it was true that I was in a dream. But nevertheless...Oh yeah, I need an aspirin...my head is pounding this morning...

---

• Date — 1/27/2016

• Went to bed — Around 3 - something AM.

• Woke up — 7:17AM

*Time logged — 9:21AM

• Total sleep — +4 Hours

• Stress level throughout the day — Alright...a little upset and bored but ok.

• Techniques/Practices

*Daytime — Did RCs

*Recall — N/A

*Inducing Method — N/A

• Dream Signs — The Obvious

• Perceived Length — 1 Hour

• Emotions — Depressed, Lonely

• Awareness — None

#7

A picture of Shadow the Hedgehog

This took place in a kind of labyrinth of a facility, quite like a college. There were various representations of video game characters roaming around freely doing their own things and such. The one franchise I can remember seeing recognizable figures was from Dead or Alive. I can remember searching for Shadow the Hedgehog and even just Sonic at that moment.

"Where is Shadow the Hedgehog or at least Sonic...They got to be here somewhere." I was then pulled over by an emo-fashioned Asian man who was thin wearing a black outfit, "Here you go~" He said in a cheery way.

MobianAngel: "S...Shadow!?" Is what I said after what my eyes have witnessed in front of me.

That's when I looked around to see two emo looking Asian human men, kind of like twins. I figured they were Sonic and Shadow the Hedgehog. There was the one who pulled me over (Sonic) and the other was one on a metal pedestal with liquefied metallic paint-like chains tying down his arms and legs (Shadow). He was all ruffled, his black hair on his head was wet and gliding across his face. He was limping over to side to side shouting and growling like a wild animal. His twin that stood free without any chains, smiled and gave me a friendly push on my back that made me topple over the platform onto (Shadow's) seemingly slick and liquid-like body. He did not attack me but he continued to growl and yell limping, loosely pulling on the chains as the the continued dripping grey paint as everyone from that area circled around and stared.

Sonic the Hedgehog: "Now, give your soul to him."

A bit bewildered at the sudden request and before my dream mind could think I was in mid process of the soul giving. I cannot say for sure how, but I merged with him. My "physical" body was gone and I found myself within Shadow. And for some reason his tongue, in the form of a liquefied chain was sliding out from "our" mouth. I was then in control of his body, sharing his pain and agony that he was in. I remember the tongue falling completely out dragging with it the lungs. The lungs began to come out which was making it hard to breathe. Using our hands I picked it up as it slipped and slide in the metallic paint as I put it back in our mouth. We tried to swallow it down but found ourselves gagging it back out. So I anchored his head just enough to keep it balanced. For some reason, keeping the lungs in a particular position in the mouth kept us from losing breath and gagging reflexes.

I then worked on the chains. They slid out from their hooks rather easily as we walked off the platform. Limping and sliding as if we were dunk. Shadow's rage and bellowing voice of anger and pain kept the people who watched distant from us.

I then could remember us then walking into my mother's room which was identical to the one in the waking world. I opened the door and she saw us and then that's when I awoke. I can still feel that odd sensation of my insides falling out of my mouth.

Notes: To be honest, this is not the first time I had a dream where I had "given" myself to Shadow the Hedgehog/fiancé in some way or sort of fashion. But this was indeed something I haven't dreamed about for a while now. What I can say from my observations is that, him and I need one another to help each-other out. We both share each others pains and joys, much like a twinflame in some way. We have over time and time again talked about becoming one and experiencing what it feels like to merge. Shadow wants me to help him achieve more power as well as becoming closer. I also mentioned at times that I wanted to give myself to him.

I'm kind of in a crunch for time at the moment but that's really the main point of what I can say about this experience. Such an amazing dream this was~

---

• Date — 1/24/2016

• Went to bed — I do not remember, I passed out and took a nap during the morning hours (AGAIN)

• Woke up — 10:35AM

*Time logged — 12:14PM

• Total sleep — N/A

• Stress level throughout the day — Alright

• Techniques/Practices

*Daytime — Did RC with my fiance when I woke up earlier (before this dream)

*Recall — N/A

*Inducing Method — N/A

• Dream Signs — The obvious

• Perceived Length — 30 Minutes

• Emotions — Anger, Fear, Pain

• Awareness — None

#5

Shadow the Hedgehog from Sonic Boom, Episode: 52

This dream took place in an old high school I went to. It had from 7th grade up to 12th (senior year) and this particular even settled around back when I was in 8th grade. My physical age didn't look different but I remember sitting at a desk with a few individuals who I can somewhat remember seeing back in my high school days. I can remember my math teacher coming up to me and scoulding me about, not getting my work done or something as she sat back down at her desk in the corner of the room.

After that, my body has began to be taken over by Shadow the Hedgehog. He powered my legs and body, getting up from the desk I was at and walked over to the teacher as he leaned over, giving her a very crossed looked. Shadow forced my mouth open as his voice echoed from my vocal cords. He said to the women in a very stern and harsh whisper, "You speak that way to her one more time, I'll fucking kill you!"

After that, and with no further response to the teacher, he moved my body back down onto the chair behind my desk. I then woke up.

• Notes: There was an incident that happened when I was back in 8th. I was 14 years old and this was around the year I fell in-love with Shadow the Hedgehog. I was bullied by the students about it as well with various mockery and people tearing up pictures I had of him. Apparently my math teacher noticed I had these feelings with the hedgehog when one day during class she sent me to see the school's therapist because of it, which the councilor told me. She also asked if I washed myself which was very odd since I tend to keep myself clean...I guess it was more rumors from those who teased me. She tried to diagnose me while figuring out why I would be inlove with a video game character upon offering me soap -_-. I don't really remember what happened after that but I hadn't seen that therapist ever since.

I figured that this dream focused on that particular point in my life and how much I wanted to get revenge on those who have bullied me and the teachers who have treated me unfairly compared to the rest. Shadow in current days would always state that he would avenge me and punish those who have hurt me in my life. I felt that moment in the dream where he threatened my teacher is foreshadowing that maybe...he really will, if he has not already ;>_>

The possessing is something that takes place in my waking life as well. Well...not as controlled as Shadow has done in the dream (though I wish it was as strong, then he could do things for me like clean and stuff lol | Shadow The Hedgehog: " -_- ") Sometimes his personality does seem end up melding in mine as I question my actions due to it.

---

• Date — 1/18/2016

• Went to bed — I do not remember really since I just passed out. I'd say somewhere around 11:00PM

• Woke up — 2:07AM I doubt I will be going back to sleep.

*Time logged — 2:10AM In physical journal

• Total sleep — +3 Hours

• Stress level throughout the day — Moderate (Just annoyed with my mother)

• Techniques/Practices —

*Daytime — Reality Checks, daydreamed (of Shadow the Hedgehog upon other things)

*Recall — I honestly do not recall doing anything of that nature yesterday sadly.

*Inducing Method — Didn't really attempt at an inducing method, but before I passed out I did mention in the irc in third person that I was going to lay in bed with Shadow.

• Dream Signs — My old high school, the students, my old math teacher, the unaltered version of the inside of the math room I went to in 8th grade, Shadow the Hedgehog possessing me

• Perceived Length — 10 Minutes

• Emotions — Unidentifiable (Unless emotionless is a thing and sharing Shadow's emotion of anger during the time of possession counts)

• Awareness — None

#4
This is Squall Leonhart

I honestly, wasn't really feeling like posting this journal entry but I decided to post the notes I had in my physical journal anyways before it got too late in the night.

• Scenario #1 [Woke Up @ 1:08AM]: I was underwater, drowning, while looking at the pretty scenery and colorful coral. The gagging effect was very vivid and felt real and has brought me back into a fully conscious state.

• Scenario #2 [Woke Up @ 1:13AM]: I was looking for Shadow the Hedgehog in this large campus sized area of a college at night. I headed over to the men's dorm area where I somehow got stuck in-between this small star case up at the entrance door. Squall Leonhart from Final Fantasy 8 came out side in a very happily, almost flamboyant personality. I called out to him to help me up. With a flick back getting his brown hair out from his face, he smiled as he reached his arm out to me. Grabbing it I lifted myself up. Then I awoke...

• Other Small Scenarios #3: [Woke Up @ 3:46AM]: While laying in bed in the middle of WILDing, I have encountered random scenes playing through my head, one of such involved Sonic the Hedgehog and Silver the Hedgehog sitting together on a red couch as Silver grabbed Sonic's leg and held him up in the air. This was more of a dreamlet (hypnagogia).

• Scenario #4 [Woke Up @ 1:26PM]: This is fragmented a bit since I can't really remember most of what was going on clearly. I was at another college-like campus and there were tons of people all around. I was with some emo-looking guy I had a crush on and who supposedly knows me. We got separated in the school's enormously large library and I was trying to find him. While exiting past the metal detector and proceeding to head back in. The lady at the desk stated that I couldn't come back unless I payed the fee. We argued about it as I stated, "Why do I have to pay money to go into the library!" I then woke up.

• Notes: I cannot think of much to say for that night. I been awake and back to sleep many times throughout the night and all through the morning. I have been trying to keep Shadow the Hedgehog as my focus for a while (I'm trying to achieve the first goal in my workbook). Imagining him and I walking up stairs for instance. I will say that eventually my busy mind settled to only the thought of the creature as his face would constantly show up in dreamlets (hypnagogia) but have never gotten farther then that sadly.

I may try WILDing again tonight.

---

• Date — 1/16/2016

• Went to bed — 11:50PM

• Woke up — Fully awoken at 1:26PM

*Time logged — 1:26PM (in physical dj)

• Total sleep — You do the math...

• Stress level throughout the day — Moderate

• Techniques/Practices —

*Daytime — Reality Checks, daydreamed (of Shadow The Hedgehog)

*Recall — Mantras (Stated to myself that I would see Shadow the Hedgehog in my dream and that I would remember it)

*Inducing Method — Looked at pictures of Shadow the Hedgehog on Tumblr

• Dream Signs — N/A

• Perceived Length — N/A

• Emotions — N/A

• Awareness — N/A