Having some exhausting day time which will continue for a while. I hope my sleep quality does not get too affected. Deep sleep tonight, did not try WBTB.
Fragment1: I am in the subway with boyfriend, trying to get some work done on ATM map screen? It is not working and I am getting upset. I apologize to other customers waiting behind me.
Dream2: I am in a room, which is my room in the dream. There is a party with lots of people. I look around and notice the strange furniture, think about it a bit, then dismiss my thoughts. We go out and I see a friend of mine. We walk around in a huge room, a bit like a factory or a store house. I remember some kitchen appliances being there. I tell her that I never expected that our apartment is so big, there is so much space, but most of it is taken? I talk about another friend and how he will buy a place of his own.
I remember now that I had the expectation to see food in this large room, near the kitchen appliances, and there it is, all kinds of things too choose from, salads, meats, like a gourmet counter, everything looks so delicious. I remember in the dream another time when I have seen so much food, but it doesn't strike me that it was a dream then and it is a dream now. I also see some rather interesting looking candy.
Fragment3: I am in front of my parents's place, all houses around are now gone, there is just grass left and some construction materials. I find this a bit strange and disturbing, but then get distracted as some people I thought I knew, but then don't recognize are throwing different-colored hay on the road.
Updated 04-19-2013 at 03:03 PM by 61764
17.04.2013Subway Train with Ada and Gave up on Akashic Records (WILD)
NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID
I'm inside of a train within a subway, and I started to feel that this train was similar to the video game of Half-Life 2, except it was wider than usual, maybe 20-25 feet in width.
I know this is all a dream, and Ada is to the left of me, I decided to take my time to focus on my dream body a bit and absorb the contents of the dream visually. Something in my mind is making me feel very irritated, but I can't really pick out what exactly. I'm holding on to a metal pole within the train as the train slowly moves, making slight rumbles, and I can almost feel the acceleration surging inside of my feet.
I feel so weird, it's so hard to describe my overall mood. It was mostly combined with creating this dream through sheer will and focus that probably made me feel a bit exhausted. I had another intention to just go back to the Castle like scenario in my last dream with Ada, but decided to just stick with this dream environment for fun. The train stops, and I try to calm down a bit, and the right door of the train slides open.
Ada comes out of the train, and I follow her, and I ask her where we're going.
"To find your Akashic Records."
I felt kind of annoyed by this, but since I didn't have anything else to think about (definitely need to start planning this a bit more), I decided to just go with the flow, since I'm just focusing on getting her more vocal anyway. We have to go down about three steps, and the subway train ends up in an open-environment.
There's still a Half-Life 2 vibe in the dream, especially at the new train station we're at, except there were some sections that had red light that you would see in a Darkroom for photography. It felt a little suspicious, and I was beginning to speculate on whether or not this was just going to be an ego trip rather than the presumed "ethereal" experience of getting of the Records.
Ada starts to tell me,
"Just remember that this is all within the confines of your mind. This whole experience is just to make things easier for you to recall should you actually get to the contents of the Records."
I felt like she's just repeating all sorts of things that I read about the Records, but I still paid attention to her.
"Whatever you get out of it depends on the situation you're in now, and based from that, there's patterns and predictions made from behavioral habits and other factors."
I was going to ask her if that makes life deterministic, but I already knew the answer to that, and kept the naive question to myself. We're finally at the base of the train station, and there's black wired fences in cubed sections protection small random areas here.
To the left of us, there's a pod about 20-30 feet or so, and the red light is very strong glowing and having its light reflected in a blurry effect. The wired fence door is opened in order to step into the area where the pod is in.
Ada takes the first step again and I follow her, and we slowly reached to the pod and it opens. I let her go in first, and then I go in as well. The interior of this pod consisted of several hues of light and sky blue, it was easy on my dream eyes compared to the red light from the exterior.
I tried not to go too much on analyzing why the red light was there in the first place, and now the perspective shifts to where I'm a spectator now looking down on my dream body. I noticed that I'm wearing a white dress shirt with a khaki dress suit and pants along with light brown lace-less shows. I have my collar slightly out of order and have a few buttons unbuttoned as well.
I felt a bit more calm now being inside of this elevator, and Ada is wearing the default costume from Resident Evil 6 as well, at least for a while. I never really focused too much on what she's wearing, it felt like she was wearing a dress and was in her other form rather than the video game form. So I'm going to assume that she alternates between having short hair and long hair.
The elevator feels futuristic, but that could be due to the fact that there's still a Half-Life 2 vibe from this whole dream. The elevator was very rounded and cylindrical, and some parts of the Plexiglas were really transparent and had this weird but unique blend of other Plexiglases layering on top of each other.
The elevator goes down, and Ada is smiling for some reason, she's really happy, and I have a neutral expression on my face as I continued to look at both of us in spectator mode. The dream transitions to where we're not in this short but vividly detailed environment with video game layered grass (the type that's usually flat but with some detail). The picture below is kind of how it looked like, except the environment was brighter than that.
I slowly stepped into this environment with Ada, and this reminded me of the last time I had a dream related to what seemed like me on my way to my Akashic Records or something with Eva last year. Before I came to full realization of this, music started playing in the background that was similar to the Lake Hylia from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess.
At first, it was very hard to identify the name of the music despite it's really relaxing tune. At first I thought it was music from a Sonic game, then I eliminate that absurd thought out of my mind, and I started to contemplate on a few more games that might match this kind of music. Eventually, I gave up and decided to slightly lower down the music at will since I didn't want it to distract me too much.
Ada asks me, "Do you remember this area? Remember the barrier that was here?"
It felt kind of awkward on how this was a similar waterfall cave (without the waterfall) from the dream I had a long time ago. It's almost as if she read my mind (well, that's no surprise since this is really all within the confines of my mind anyway) and she responds,
"The environment is exactly the same because it's the only thing we can go by based on your previous experience." I started to map out where to go next without making another step, and after maybe 5-10 seconds, I came back to focus on the green environment. I think we went through the invisible barrier, or maybe there wasn't a barrier there at all.
We go inside the empty waterfall cave and get into the darker regions that would lead to a set of stair steps leading to a very dull and blurry hue of light emitting diagonally down towards us. We're finally at the library, the same library like before, and there's papers scattered all about on the tables. So the environment went from a train station, to an elevator, to a waterfall cave and the outside regions of vivid grass, moss, etc., to a library that had hues of brown and maybe a mix of orange-brown here and there as well.
There wasn't anyone there compared to the guards like last time, and I felt that there was definitely a huge difference in experience than before. It reminded me of how Ada told me in the last dream yesterday that I kept thinking my mind was a trickster, which would make most of my dreams "guarded," and anything related to me having to rise up to a challenge or test.
It feels very empty in here, and I started to become more interested in Ada's existence in this dream because I had a hunch that this floor would be most basic and generic of all types of information within my mind that's scattered about and not taken too seriously. Maybe things that I didn't pick up on as much and left them all behind, and this is just assuming that if I were to go to higher floors, the more complex and detailed I would be able to define how I think and potentially how my reaction to certain events would lead to other events.
But instead of absorbing the emptiness of this room, I started to become even more irritated at myself for being indecisive with what to do next. This whole thing felt like a huge ambition for me, even though it shouldn't since it's supposed to be something that's easily accessed if you're in the right "frequency" or what have you.
The table in front of us is long and is brown, and is placed vertically from our perspective. It seems Ada probably knew this place more than I did, she felt so relaxed while I was so anxious for no apparent reason. I decided to sit at the width of the vertically placed brown table, and Ada sat on a chair close to the long side. She's now wearing a red dress, and her arms are very soft just from visualization alone.
She's looking at a random point in space within the library, based on my peripheral vision to the right as I was becoming anxious. I rubbed my head in hopes that I would have my focus together and hopefully come up with something to say. Then I started to question on why her existence in this form she's in, and it felt as if the question was useless since she was shape-shifting between two forms.
She looks at me for a while and continues to smile at me, and spreads her arms onto the table, stretching and then stating a default answer to me,
"Probably just an unconscious desire of yours."
I asked her more questions on how to get her more vocal during the hypnosis induced lucid dream, and I can't remember specifically what she stated. After we continue to accept that we're the only two people in this very....very...very...large library, I start to notice parts that I didn't acknowledge to well from the last dream I had months ago with the dream character that looked like Eva, except with orange hair and and a damaged body composition.
The windows in front of me that were about 30-40 feet away were huge, and I could barely see the environment outside since I was busy speculating on other things. However, I did noticed the same gargantuan violet base from the last dream with Eva. I wanted to see what was in there, but I remained in the seat, just speculating and absorbing the emptiness in the room even more.
Ada finally breaks the silence once more and asks in a casual manner,
"We can go check that out if you want to."
I started to shrivel up a bit, feeling as if the violet base was an area that I shouldn't open at all. After a while, I told Ada that I'll meet her again and simply gave up and wanted to take a break from the lucid dream.
I'll probably check out the violet base later on in the next hypnosis session, things are pretty straight-forward now, and I noticed that whenever I sleep again after the hypnosis, I wake up and can still have good visualization of random things, but most of those things are sexual, probably do to the effects with later periods of REM sleep stimulating the body more.
Monday, March 19th, 2012Shared Dreaming With Family and the Dream Mountains (FA)
NON-DREAM | DREAM | LUCID | FA | HH
I receive an email saying I have been enrolled in a socializing course. It is an advanced level course that is somehow integrated in my college curriculum.
I Wanna Eat!
I am at the dining commons. I am getting food at an ivory and gold-style counter.
I see the blue mall food court that I have dreamt about at least two other times...
I've Got Style
I am cutting my hair with thinner razor guide combs. I also find my pair of jeans with a ridiculous amount of patches.
Dark Subway Station Encounter
I am in a train subway with my brother and my parents. The train arrives and we enter. I feel very vulnerable as if their is danger nearby.
I start talking to a lady who is seated nearby. I mention something about kids.
Her: *pointing to an empty space in front of her* "My kids right here can actually be a pain."
I realize she is going crazy. She started off interacting normally, but now she is seeing children that don't exist.
I look around and she starts to gargle and mutter gibberish to me in a somewhat angry and violent way.
A woman sitting next to her tries to calm her. I realize this is her caretaker.
Shared Dreaming With Family and the Dream Mountains
It is night time and we are in our Philly home.
My mom has been threatened and we are helping in preventing any attacks against her.
We ensure that all the doors and windows are locked and secured. We managed to be safe until the next day, but the threat grows.
It is now the next day. We are in front of my old middle school and it is a very sunny and warm day. But we are in danger!
The threat is right behind us and we are running towards the school. Whatever this danger is, it is invisible and HUGE! I can sense it. My mom is a couple of feet behind me, and my brother as well as my dad are a few feet in front of me.
I stop running to make sure she is safe. Immediately, she begins to levitate in the air as if this invisible danger were picking her up. She goes up about 18-20 feet.
And then she falls.
I feel despair and anger. I yell something towards her.
Me: "Relajete y dejace caer sin resistencia!"
["Stay completely relaxed and let yourself fall without resistance!"]
She hits the street floor in front of the school. I run towards her, completely scared. She slowly stands up.
She has no wounds.
I start to explain to her why that worked. Something about the shock being much worse and potentially more deadly when the falling person is tense. She nods, saying she understands.
We all run into the school, which looks like a theater set that is still being constructed.
I wake up.
I realize that all four of us were asleep! Did we just share that dream?
I find my mom and my brother. It seems that the three of us did share that dream. For some reason, we won't consider it a shared dream unless my dad can confirm he also had the same dream.
We run up to a strange attic. It is dark, but it is also cozy. My dad is sleeping in a recliner. I wake him up and tell him to quickly grasp the wisps of dream memories before they leave and he forgets them forever.
My dad, brother and I argue about my entrepreneurship ideas and what I should do with my life. I tell him about the success that my brother and I BOTH had with our ideas and how we ended up profitting.
Another blur. This is extremely hazy.
Something about death?
Everything goes a snowy white. My consciousness falls silent. I feel completely at peace. I feel like I have become nothing. I have no body, I have no voice, I have no thoughts. I don't exist yet. But I am aware.
STRONG deja vu as I write this...
There is total comfort and relaxation pervading every part of me. I have just let go of everything.
Beyond this, I have been having trouble falling asleep the past few months. I seem to always cling on to consciousness and awareness. When I start falling into unconsciousness, I usually subconsciously snap back in fear, realizing that for a brief period, I was not aware. It is during these small windows that I fear death in its most vivid and realistic form. I physically try to cling on to life, as whatever psychological barriers I previously had have broken down, and I truly realize death is inevitable for all of us.
But last night was the first night in a long time where I just fell asleep, peacefully, despite a gloomy day. I don't think I had any fear falling asleep either. The thoughts may seem grim, but I have been learning to deal with a lot of the stuff that has happened throughout the past few months and have been finding my true genuine positive, fun-loving nature again. I think, for whatever reason, I am now much closer to being my happy authentic self! ^.^
This state of consciousness slowly transitions into a dream.
There is snow everywhere. I look around. My brother and CS are sitting to my right. They are looking downwards. I decide to look downwards as well.
A STEEP slope filled with a thick layer of snow goes downward and downward and downward on, seemingly never-ending. I look at the ledge on which we are sitting and realize that it is NOT a ledge. We are on the peak of an oddly shaped mountain. It does not seem like the mountain was naturally made. The peak we are on contains two slopes, one in front of us and one in back of us, as if this entire mountain was a huge wedge of rock! There are at least four mountain wedges just like this one, all parallel to each other. These wedges are uniformly lined so that the valleys beneath them are all equally distanced from one another. These are NOT naturally made mountains.
I have to get off of this thing! I somehow manage to slowly slide down the steep mountain slope. My brother and CS are way the hell up above me now.
I walk on the small valley floor in a direction parallel to the mountain. I see a ledge in the area where the mountain ends. It contains a perpendicular path. That way, I can find us a way out of this place.
When I get to the ledge I look over it. There is a bottomless pit! Ice is everywhere, so one small slip is enough to seal my fate here. I look up at the mountains signaling for CS and my brother to get down. Then I look at the snow. Crap. Avalanches could easily happen here!
They both yell, intentionally causing avalanches to prevent them from happening once they get down. I have to stand in front of the mountain and on the ledge to avoid getting hit by the snow. I continue my way through the ledge path, passing each mountain. The ledge gets narrower as I move forward as if it is slanted towards the mountains.
I then realize, we are not trapped here. CS brought us here for fun, as if sliding down these dangerously steep mountain slopes were an activity or sport- similar to skiing or snowboarding.
We are all gonna be fine! xD
Updated 03-21-2012 at 03:02 AM by 23593
A black girl falls asleep on a couch on top of some nut which she crushes. When she awakes, she is on set of a studio for a talk show and she has developed psychic powers.
Adventures in Korea
I am in Korea with my friend J. We are in an area on the way down from the main street to the subway.
In this area there are two entrances for washrooms at one wall and right across from this are the stairs going up to the surface, which change direction to the right half way up. To the left of the washrooms are the stairs down to the subway. The women's room is on the left and the men's is on the right, located at the corner of this area. The walls and general area have an orange and red color scheme.
We are in front of men's washroom when I decide to launch a fake attack against J. Grabbing her from behind, she lets out a fake scream "Help!"
Then, some douche trying to be a hero, jumps out and starts attacking me. I start to get pissed because I was having fun so I chase this guy up the stairs and wake up.
I'm on a bus on my way to meet someone, a girl I’m hot for, to go to a concert. The bus is empty but for a small group of young women, excitedly chatting and tipsy from pre-drinks, and a nice, cute blonde girl takes an interest in me, and while I seem to succeed, from my point of view, in impressing her, as if the concert that I’m going to reflects well on me, while feigning indifference, looking towards the front of the bus to see where we are, narrow, modern CBD of a small European city, when a voice comes softly from towards the driver, last stop.
I step out as soon as the back doors open almost without saying goodbye properly, a brief wave.
I can’t find my friend where I’m supposed to wait, or perhaps realise that I should’ve invited the fun, pretty girl on the bus to come with us. I hurry into the train station to try and catch up to her, having mentioned that she and her friends were going to another music festival. I manage to get far into the station, white tiles like the Parisian station in the DVD I watch directly before sleep “Round Midnight”, without encountering a ticket turnstile, searching for faces, a normal weekend train station scene. I come to a railing looking down onto two platforms below, an inbound train pushing through at a resisted speed, all but submerged in sea water, the roof sliding under just before passing into the tunnel mouth under me, a train arriving on the parallel track from the opposite direction, the water churning confusedly, the commuters coming up the stairs normally to the side of me.
Ok, o sonho já começou bem confuso.
Eu não estava presente, apenas vendo uma cena no Shopping, onde haviam vários monstros (?) seguindo um grupo de pessoas. Puro-Osso e Mandy (do desenho The Grim adventures of Billy and Mandy) estavam tentando impedir que os monstros alcançassem as pessoas. Um garoto vestido de super herói tambémveio tentar ajudar, mas viu que não conseguiria fazer muita coisa e então correu também.
Em um momento, Mandy tropeçou e caiu, Puro-Osso foi tentar atrasar os monstros, mas acabaram por consumir ele e a Mandy também.
No colégio, vi que os monstros estavam fazendo uma fila atrás de um professor (provavelmente um professor de física, como o Sílvio). Então, resolvi ir para o shopping tentar impedir os monstros. No caminho, encontrei meu pai (com um carro diferente do nosso [era provavelmente um astra branco]) na rua. Eu disse pra ele que eu iria para o shopping pegar uma coisa que eu tinha esquecido. Ele ficou meio descontente (nesse momento ele estava em um Uno preto) mas deixou, saíndo pelo semáforo.
Eu saí correndo para o shopping, mas acabei errando o caminho e indo para o Comprefort (mercado que fica em frente ao colégio). Nisso, eu tentei correr o mais rápido possível para o shopping. Cheguei a imaginar um alien correndo atrás de mim para eu conseguir correr mais rápido (engraçado, não?).
Quando eu estava quase chegando, passou um cara de máscara correndo por mim. Ao chegar na rua do shopping, percebi que não era uma rua, e sim um metrô. Haviam duas senhoras idosas lá, e disseram que o cara mascarado era um ladrão, e estavam com medo dele. Eu falei que estava tentando chegar no shopping o mais rápido possível, e que elas podiam vir comigo. Saímos correndo, e elas eram incrivelmente mais rápidas do que eu.
Chegamos até um local que parecia a maquinaria do metrô, onde haviam dois caras. Perguntamos como sairíamos dali, em deles nos respondeu que dava pra sair por onde entramos. Perguntei se havia OUTRA saída, ele nos apontou uma escada e disse que daria em uma rua. O corredor onde se encontrava a escada estava cheio de portas. O homem pediu para eu abrir a porta da cozinha (uma das portas desse corredor). Eu abri e ele avisou a cozinheira que estaria saíndo por um momento.
De repente, não havia mais escada, e sim um duto de ventilação. As duas senhoras eram, na verdade, Lucas (um amigo que eu não vejo há alguns anos) e outro cara, que não lembro quem era).
Fui subir no duto de ventilação, mas estava incrivelmente apertado. Lucas estava vindo atrás de mim, embora eu tenha dito para ele esperar. Já não me lembro de maiores detalhes.
(Good morning, everybody. This is a really long entry. Sorry.
I remember three dreams from last night. The first two dreams happened sometime between midnight and 5 AM. The third dream was between about 5:30 AM and 7 AM.
I became lucid in the third dream, and sustained my lucidity for quite a while. But I think it was mainly because I “conserved my energy” and didn’t really try anything out of my normal range of dream-activity.)
I was coming back to “my apartment.” I was walking through a building that itself was as big as a small neighborhood. I walked through one area, a huge room with tall ceilings and wood walls.
As I walked through the area, I went past a young man and woman who were possibly standing outside the door to the woman’s apartment. The door may have been pale blue.
The woman was very pretty, with copper-colored skin and long, straight, black hair. The man was handsome, white, tall, with blonde hair about down to his shoulders. He wore a grey, wool cap and some winter clothes.
The man was telling the woman that he would make sure her move went smoothly. She was apparently moving to another place, and she was nervous about it. I gathered, from the man’s speech to the woman, that the man would make sure she didn’t experience the same harassment she’d experienced at her present apartment.
But as I was walking past the couple (I didn’t actually get very close to them, and I had to exit via another door into another room in order to get to “my building”), the man and woman expressed some kind of concern that I was going to get them in trouble. It was as if, as well as the woman experiencing harassment from some group of people, the man and the woman had themselves been accused of causing trouble in their neighborhood. They thought I was the kind of person who would get them in trouble again.
I walked softly and quickly through the door, trying my best to give an impression to the man and woman that I was nice, that I wouldn’t harass the woman, and that I wouldn’t get the man and woman in trouble – in other words, that I would just mind my own business.
I walked into the next area, which was like a mix between some completely forgotten room or corridor in an enormous mansion and a back alley. A light shone from high above, and at the heights of the room, it was dark as night, though it was light enough near the floor. The walls were wood, and the floor had a pale, blue-grey carpeting. But there was junk everywhere, like tattered cardboard boxes, wadded up pieces of wrapping plastic, and other garbage. There seemed to be turns and staircases here and there, leading up to other “apartment buildings.”
I walked toward my building, which didn’t even have a front door, just a staircase leading up to a winding ramp into darkness. My landlord, an older, black man or woman, stood at the top of or on one of the curves in the ramp. He/she apparently knew I was coming home, so he/she was waiting to welcome me back. I may have been away for a few days, doing something like visiting my family.
I didn’t realize, but the young man had followed me all the way here. My “building,” it turned out, was the building that the young woman would be staying in. I thought that for sure the man would now be panicked. He and the woman had been so afraid to begin with that I would get them in trouble. And now it looked like I had “reverse followed” him all the way to the woman’s new residence.
I tried to act natural and cool, to make the man understand I wasn’t going to do anything mean to him or the woman. I spoke a little bit with the landlord, in a kind of easy, happy tone. I then said I was going to head on in to my room and get a little rest.
As I headed toward my room, through a door along a dim balcony facing at an odd angle to the ramps and the long alley-corridor, I heard the landlord now speaking with the young man. I thought, Why not prove that I’m a good guy, and let the young man see inside my room? Once he sees how lived-in my place is, he’ll know I’ve been here a few years, I’m a decent guy, and that I won’t do anything rude or mean to the woman or him?
So I called attention to the landlord and the young man. I had them come over to my room. I opened the door to my room. The room was humongous and dim. But I could tell, just by glancing inside, that the room was a complete mess – a disaster! Plus, the place just let out a horrendous smell, like tons and tons of socks that hadn’t been washed for months!
I quickly closed the door and told the landlord and young man nevermind, that I must have forgotten what I wanted to tell them. They walked away, kind of disappeared.
I suddenly felt suspicious of the young man. I felt that, now that he’d seen even just a little into my room, and he’d seen where I live, that he’d try to break into my room. I closed my door. I walked slowly away, as if I was trying to put on some kind of show that I didn’t really live in this apartment.
I suddenly recognized that, just beyond my door, the wall to my room only went up to about the middle of my chest. You could see inside the room just by standing out on the balcony. I looked inside, hoping that nothing of value would be easily spotted, prompting the young man to break into my house and steal things.
All I could see, though, anywhere, was a bunch of clutter and garbage. I felt like there was no way I could have left my place this way when I’d left. Had I been that neglectful of things? Or had I been gone so long that my place just kind of dissolved into these shambles of itself?
I walked around the corner of the balcony, now facing some dim corner of the alley-corridor directly, but still having a good view into my room.
Down below, in my room, I saw a huge, pale-blue, L-shaped couch. It was completely torn up. The stuffing of the couch was bloating out of the cushions, and a black, metal frame jutted out the edges.
Suddenly, my mother burst out from the inside of the couch. She scrambled out of the couch cushions. She then rabidly twitched and scratched against the couch, tearing it even more to pieces. She looked terrible, like she’d become some kind of wild animal.
I was terrified by this. But I quickly became indignant. Who had allowed my mother into my apartment? I ran down the balcony to find someone to complain to.
I ended up on some dark hilltop, under a small tree. It was pitch black night, but I could see, as if a car from somewhere were shining its lights on the scene. There were a few people wandering around, possibly Hispanic.
I found my father, who was almost cartoonishly wide. He was also dressed somewhat like a clown, in red clothes with pink and orange polka-dots. He may even have worn a clown-nose.
I yelled at my dad, “Why did you let my mom into my apartment?”
My dad gave me some kind of excuse that sounded half-hearted but official, so that I couldn’t really argue against it.
I was in a subway station, waiting for the train to come. I was in a far-off, unfamiliar neighborhood, and I had been doing some kind of activity that made me tired and ready to go back somewhere familiar.
The subway station was more like the lobby for a building like a hospital. I sat at a table in an area that looked like a makeshift café. The serving counter may have been in a small room, off to my right. Behind me, there may have been the main lobby area, large and bright, with a lot of sunlight flowing through the window-walls.
To my left was a wide doorway, through which I could see one subway platform. Through a kind of dim, plasticky window at the opposite end of the room and in front of me, I could see another subway platform.
I pulled out a book, crossed my legs, slumped in my chair, and started reading. A couple of teenage boys sat down a couple of tables away from me. They were making jokes with each other, pretty relaxed. They seemed cool. But for some reason, I didn’t want them to notice me. I thought they might start trouble.
Suddenly I could see, from some kind of reflection, that the train on the platform to my left was coming. It seemed to be coming without warning and very quickly. In a rush, the boys and I stood up from our tables and ran to the platform.
But I didn’t want the boys to know I got on this train. I felt that if they knew this about me they could hurt me somehow. So I tried to act like I wasn’t getting onto this train.
But when I got out to the platform (which was huge, wide, with tall ceilings, nothing like in NYC), the train wasn’t there. I heard the rushing of a train to my left. I looked and saw, down the platform, and up at the top of a tall staircase, a different train arriving at another platform. Was it just that train I’d heard? But I could have sworn I’d seen the train arrive on this platform, as well as heard it.
I looked down into the well for the train and tracks for my platform – and was terribly shocked! Instead of tracks, the floor was completely empty, trackless, and painted a bright yellow. There were no tracks! No train could ever have arrived here! But I was sure this was where the train was supposed to be – where I had actually seen it arrive!
I felt terribly foggy all of the sudden, as if I had fallen into a different world.
I heard the train on the second platform, off to my right, arriving. I thought I’d take that train. But I knew it wouldn’t get me anywhere close to where I wanted to go. I knew I’d just have to take this train, at this platform, whenever it came, no matter how long it took.
So I went back into the café area to go back to reading my book.
I was in my great-grandmother’s house. I had apparently been there for a long time. The place looked nothing like it had looked while my great-grandmother was alive: it was dim, grey-blue, and strewn garbage, household items, and even streams of toilet paper.
I walked around in the kitchen and dining room, possibly picking up and eating and drinking pieces of food and drink that had been left out for a long time on dirty plates and in dirty, grimy cups. There may also have been dirty, rusty knives, or something like that, somewhere.
I walked back into the living room. I felt like I had isolated myself in my great-grandmother’s house for so long. It had been days. Here I’d been, back home all this time, and I hadn’t visited my mother once!
I thought I’d give her a call and let her know I was at my great-grandma’s house, and that she could come visit me or maybe even pick me up so we could go somewhere to visit with each other. But I hesitated – I now felt so guilty having neglected my mother for all these days, that I knew just calling her would cause me a lot of heart-breaking pain.
I was suddenly in “my bedroom” at “my house.” The room was clean, a little barren. Nice sunlight flowed in through the window. It was cheerful enough. But it felt somehow lonely – not just lonely, but sterile, padded.
Something about this feeling made me realize I was dreaming. I realized I was now lucid. I told myself to keep calm and just go exploring this place as if it were a real environment.
(Oddly enough, when I became lucid, I may have “transformed” into a tallish, white, young man with tanned skin, blue eyes, and short-shaved, blonde hair. I have no idea why.)
I walked out of the bedroom and into “my living room.” I was in a suburban house. The house looked small and nice. But it was completely empty. It had thick, brown carpet.
I walked very slowly, to keep my emotions calm. I was heading for the front door. This was a kind of challenge for me, and I knew (even in my dream-state), that I had to keep calm in order to do this. I knew, I remembered (the truth, not a false memory – I mean, insofar as etc., etc.) that when I’d become lucid indoors in the past, my lucidity would end as soon as I walked outside, as if I hadn’t believed my imagination could “create” an outdoor space.
I got to the door. It had a strange bolt-lock on it, which I thought was kind of over-doing things. I worked the lock out and pulled open the door.
It was a bright, sunshiny day in a suburban neighborhood. I told myself to remain calm, remember this was all a dream, and just explore the place like it was a real environment.
My front yard was a tangle of flowery vegetation and rough, dark shrubs. There was a driveway off to my right, with a big, brown, 1970s-style car.
A blonde man, very tan, with a long tangle of hair and beard, was messing around near “my car.” He looked crazy, and I was afraid of him. But I was also pissed that he was messing around my car. So I yelled at him, “Hey! Hey! What are you doing?”
The crazy man hunched up (he never really stood) and turned toward me. He shouted and growled and barked all kinds of weird things at me and started rambling toward me violently. For some reason, he was holding a Panini and a paper plate in his hands, as if he had been eating a Panini when he’d seen my car and decided to vandalize it or rip it off.
It seemed as if the crazy man were going to try to invade my home. So I yelled at him, “Don’t you come near!”
The neighbor from the house to my left, an Asian man, in his late 30s or early 40s, wearing glasses, a pink-red polo shirt, and khaki shorts, walked out of his house and into my yard. He’d heard the commotion and was coming to help me.
I yelled again at the crazy man to back off and not to come anywhere near my home. But I also tried to make it seem to my neighbor like I had the situation under control. I felt like this crazy man was somehow important to whatever I was supposed to learn from this lucid dream. So I had to keep him at a distance without scaring him away entirely. I also wanted to make sure my neighbor didn’t scare away the crazy man.
Off to my right, in my garden, I saw a strange plant that looked like a Cleome topped with a cabbage. The cabbage was pink and white, like Cleome flowers.
Somehow, either my yelling my neighbor’s yelling had finally scared away the crazy man. He ran off. I, and possibly my neighbor, ran after him.
He ran down toward a chain link fence that ran along the crest of a kind of tall, kind of steep, cliff-like hill. I was calling to the crazy man to stop. I wasn’t trying to do him harm. But my neighbor was running faster than me, and he was chasing the crazy man quite violently.
The crazy man found a bent-up part of chain-link fence and crawled under it. I followed. I saw the crazy man run down the steep, brown hill-face, jumping into a shallow, muddy river or creek at the bottom.
My neighbor was still ahead of me, intent on capturing the crazy man. But once the crazy man was in the water, he did something to himself so that my neighbor could no longer see him. He had changed his wild, blonde hair into a weird, pink, green, and white, spiky flower style, looking like a hairdo-mix of a Cleome and a lotus. He ducked down low in the creek so that only his head was above water.
But I could still see that it was the crazy man. I wondered why my neighbor couldn’t. Nothing was different about the crazy man’s face: it was just his hair that looked like a lotus floating on the water.
I could see that the crazy man was drifting toward a group of copper-skinned, black haired children who were playing and splashing about near the creek’s banks. I thought that it might be a good idea to get the crazy man away from the children. He had gone over to them to blend in with them until we left. But I had a feeling that if he suddenly went crazy again, he could hurt the kids.
But now the crazy man and my neighbor were gone. I stood in some rocky area, looking down to the kids playing in the creek. At some point I looked over to my right and saw that there was a subway station, just jutting in a platform out of the hill, as if it were half-finished, forgotten. But it also looked new, clean, modern, even futuristic. And it was functional.
I saw some kids, maybe pre-teen or teenage, playing around near the platform, waiting for the train. I was up near the top of the hill now (which, instead of being muddy or earthy, was now rocky). I was at a pretty level view with the platform and with the kids. I hoped they wouldn’t notice me, because I didn’t want them to start trouble with me.
My emotions got so unstable that I felt my lucidity fading away.
But instead of the dream continuing, not lucid, everything blacked out. I told myself, you’re losing your lucidity. You’re waking up altogether. Go back to being in the dream, and being lucid.
So now I was back in the dream, lucid. I lay, stomach down, over some ledge of rock, looking down to some of the kids playing in the creek. They may have been a boy and a girl. They noticed me and started handing me toys to play with with them. One of the toys was a plastic horse.
I played around with the horse a little bit, then handed it back to the kids, who went back into the water.
I walked into the subway station. Inside, it seemed like it had become night. The station was lit gently with a kind of street-quality, greenish, fluorescent flood-lamp. The walls were a brownish stone, and the floors were some kind of granite-like grey. There was a downward staircase in the center of the lobby-area, and there were a few different corridors leading off from the main lobby-area.
I walked down one of the corridors off to my right. I heard a bunch of teenage kids who sounded like they were joking and having a good time. I decided that I should probably talk with the kids instead of being nervous and shy around them. This was a dream, and I was here to explore whatever I ran into.
So I saw the kids. They were a group of white boys and girls, dressed in kind of loose baggy sweaters and wool caps. They were making a bunch of jokes which struck me as intelligent and funny. I thought I’d talk to them. But they really didn’t pay any attention to me. So, rather than trying to hard to get their attention and getting hostile attention, I walked down another corridor.
But now I heard somebody calling for me. I wound around through the corridors, back to the area where the kids had been. It had definitely sounded like one of the boys, calling me back to be part of the group.
But when I got back to the area – something like a lobby, with a long, wooden counter at the front of the room, and a tall, nice painting on the cinder-block wall to my left – there were no kids, only two women. The women were both naked. They walked toward me, side by side.
The woman on the right was very tall, maybe a foot taller than I (or “I” in the dream). She was naked, but she wore a dark-blue plume of feathers as a headdress and a spray of dark blue feathers around her waist and back. She looked like a burlesque performer.
The woman on the left was still taller than I, maybe by an inch or two. She was pale, with long, curly, light-red hair. The women were both offering themselves to me for sex. I chose the shorter woman.
The woman stood right in front of me, almost to the point of pressing up to me. I asked her a question, and she replied. Satisfied, I began kissing her body.
We had sex in two or three different positions. But in one position I realized I was just doing a terrible job, and that I must just be making a weird situation for the woman, even though she did at least appear to be having fun. Regardless, I got so ashamed of what I perceived as being my stupid clumsiness that I woke up.