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    1. Sleep Paralysis Subway Train

      by , 01-11-2024 at 04:55 PM
      This dream was from 3 nights ago.

      I boarded a subway with sectioned rooms big enough for one or two people. Each room was empty with just a handrail.

      I stood inside, waited for the doors to close, and felt the train move. Stood there for what felt like a few minutes, thinking it was a bit odd that my dream wasn’t changing. I can normally sense the motion of my dreams and things change around me.

      Something felt off.

      Then I felt something wash over my spine (the sensation I get with SP). I noticed a presence in the room and looked up. There was something nonhuman hanging on the handrail above me. I didn’t want to see it, so I blocked it from my mind with a blur effect as soon as I realized it was there.

      it’s been a while since I’ve been scared like this, normally these don't get under my skin. I attempted to wake myself up, but did an FA into a room that looked nothing like my bedroom. I recognized it as a dream, but played along with it until I started feeling the sensation again of SP again and saw the creature coming back for more.

      Woke myself up for real that time.

      I kept accidentally DEILDing back in several times after that, though, and having waking hallucinations.

      So eventually, I got up and walked around to wake myself up enough to stop the DEILDs.

      I’m so glad this isn’t common for me any more. I used to go into SP multiple times per week and the experiences were a lot worse (this wasn't too bad). Once it would start, I would get stuck in endless DEILD chains.

      The dream control skills I’ve picked up from this community make a world of difference. I didn’t lose sleep or experience any panic like I used to. Pretty great improvement.
    2. 17 Sep: Bullied and despised by school colleagues, then becoming lucid

      by , 09-17-2022 at 11:14 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      In high school / university mix situation, being bullied by Monica and her minions. Even in the bathroom, they burst open the stall where I am sitting on the toilet, demanding something I don't have, just to humiliate me. Then later on class, we're getting our grades and she scores higher than anyone else. I believe she is cheating, but everybody praises her and she gets a round of applause. I don't want to look petty but I gotta say something. I don't accuse her of cheating, but I say I won't clap because she is a bully and she's been bullying me constantly to derail me. Even if she really is smart, she's still a bad person. Nobody denies it, they tell me everybody knows that she bullies, but they still think she should be praised for her grades and they clearly think I am petty for bringing this up. I am appalled. As soon as everyone's attention goes elsewhere, she sneaks in close to me and pinches me hard, hurting me and I say I am sick of it and I am no longer going to be civilized with her. I do a choke hold on her and throw her on the floor and she kicks the air struggling to breath. I eventually let her go and we still fight a bit more, but I can tell she is scared of this new side of me. After the class everybody is going out somewhere and I join just to avoid being cast out, but I wonder if I should, since nobody likes me much anyway and I don't owe them anything. It starts raining as we walk down the street. It's already dark. I pull an umbrella out from my backpack. Everybody gathers in pairs or bigger groups under different umbrellas and I offer a ride under mine to anyone who needs it, but only Monica accepts. I yell there's not a chance in hell and I turn to a group that has like 4 people under one umbrella and offer to welcome at least one of them. They don't accept so I just carry on. I am tired of being nice. We walk into a grand central station and everyone heads to a subway line, but I miss them in the crowd. I don't know which direction they're going. Then I get distracted by some bijouterie lost on the floor. I pick it up and some lady who is just standing there notices it and says she had actually seen it before but was too embarassed to pick it up. She then points out to more bijouterie under a ledge and I am surprised with the finding. Like little kids who found a treasure, we pick it up piece by piece, making pairs with the found earrings and admiring the colorful stones and I fill my pockets with it. The lady doesn't want it for herself, she is just happy to help me find these. Then some other lady comes by and says she doen't think all that bijouterie is lost, but that it belongs to a seller who is there during the day and leaves her things hidden in there for the night. I feel bad and put it all back, except for that one piece that was efectively broken and in pieces on the floor and which seems like it was really discarded. Meanwhile, I am approached by Rupigo who asks me where some other colleague went and if he joined the others. I say I haven't seen him but I suppose so. Then decide to go after him as he probably knows the direction to go. But I don't want to go down the stairs against the flow of the crowd, so I just jump a balcony, the height of one floor, and gently land in the main central area of the station, near a ticket booth. I realize I am dreaming and that I can do whatever I want. I still debate a little with myself if I should go after the group lucidly, or not and I realize it is completely irrelevant. Instead I fly over everyone's heads and I move to the exit. I play a little with the fact that I can cross walls and columns and don't really need to find a door, but I am still planning my next move. Unfortunately the dream isn't stable enough and I wake up.

      Updated 09-17-2022 at 11:19 AM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    3. 28 Jul: WW3, tectonic catastrophe and metaphysics

      by , 07-28-2022 at 03:44 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      With mom inside some big building with a glass façade. Looks like an airport in the 50s or 60s, but I think we are waiting for some doctor appointment. A noisy fighter jet flies over the building, narrowly missing it. It's clearly not from our country. Then we see lots of smoke and everybody wonders if it crashed nearby. Then an helicopter lands right outside and some military come out of it. People rush out to ask stuff, but they are elusive. Rumors spread that the jet was russian. Nobody knows if the pilot died or was caught. The military then tell people to go home and that war was declared. I guess they mean WW3 is official. We go inside the waiting room, because we wanna know more and there are 3 tvs, so we expect to see something in the news.
      Some idiot distract us all with a silly stunt in the lobby, climbing on top of the staircase rails and threathening to jump like 2 floors. Security guards come from all directions to grab him and people applaud, but he gives up and jumps to safety. In the waiting room again, some black lady instructs me to put on channel 95 where supposedly is CNN. I try, but the channel doesn't match with what she says. I finally find it and one reporter is clearly in distress while another is in sheer terror, sweating profusely. They say the news is absolutely shockcing and scary. And end of the world scenario. But then it has nothing to do with WW3. Instead they mention some earthquake swarm and volcanos erupting in Brazil and that due to the tectonic plate movements, all the energy from the movements there is expected to be transmitted and affect the whole of Europe. They show a map with volcanos popping up all throughout Central Europe and fires everywhere. They say it is unpredictable where it will hit, but Switzerland will be the worst hit. My mom asks me if it is dangerous to us. I say we can't be sure, since it is likely that a huge quake hits Lisbon and the Tagus faultline. I tell her from now on we need to be alert at all times, study our surroundings and check if there are any safer places around us if we are hit by a quake.
      Then we are at a very old café in an old town and I see cracks all over the walls. I tell her it isn't safe to stay here, so we go outside as soon as we can and tell her to also look for open spaces outside. Then I recall I need to go back inside and pay for our drinks. Meanwhile she is looking at a street market and she is really interested in something, but I tell her not to go there until I come back.

      Watching some story like a movie. A lady who is dying with a terminal cancer wants to sing one last time to an audience, so she goes see her former agent, accompanied by her lover. Her agent had stopped working with her because she meant troubles and his company was going through financial difficulties. Her lover advocates for her. Makes some promise to bring lots of people for some jazz nights at his derelict building, if he allows her to sing. He agrees.

      Then I am her and I am leaving the place. I am walking the streets of Lisbon and doing some artistic performance as I walk. I stamp red flowers on my skirt and also on walls and roads for some reason. The kids enjoy and are curious, but the adults not so much. Some woman makes a comment that I am vandalized a house. I don't care. I am on my way to the botanical garden, but I am a bit lost. I look for the closest metro station to check where I am and maybe take a ride. I find one, but not sure how to gro from here to the garden, so I check a map on my phone. At least I know now where I am.
      On my way there, I meet an older guy, a very tall slender guy, and for some reason we start talking about miracles and odd stuff. He asks me about my beliefs and I try to explain I don't believe as much as I accept possibilities. I explain my view on how we interpret the outliers of reality and we call it paranormal when they are just outliers within the curve of possibilities of reality. Then tell him about how my brain could not recognize the sounds of foxes the first time I heard it on a camping trip and therefore my brain filled in the blanks and made it sound like dolphins. Therefore hearing dolphins around me on a mountain could only be supernatural, but turns out it was my perception which wasn't equiped to see the natural phenomena for what it was. He agrees and tells me a story of how he was blind for many many years and for no apparent reason one day symply regained his sight and everyone considered it a miracle. He believes it was a natural recovery of his organism, which appears as a miracle because it is a rare event. We get out of the subway and we continue walking towards the garden.
    4. 17 Dec: Penniless in Brussels, looking for work at a univeristy

      by , 12-17-2021 at 07:51 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      In Brussels, penniless and in pijamas on the street for some reason. I take the subway without a ticket. I just need to travel a couple stations to one where there is a public restroom I can use, but I come across a ticket fiscal and I exit abruptly in the wrong station. I don't risk going back, so I decide to walk.
      Meet some folks at a park, one is my old school colleague Ana S. and she invites me to join them. Some guy is trying hypnosis on her, but she is not cooperating. Another person tells me she is highly anxious and this way she can't be healed. Apparently she has a problem with a horse that doesn't allow her to ride it and it is something with her that needs to be balanced so the horse will accept her. They offer me to come along with them on a boat ride down a river. They drop some dude at a university and I feel interested in joining him. I wonder if I can just drop by and look for work opportunities there. My friends provided me with some stuff and now I am carrying a trolley with a few items inside.
      At the university, walking down a hall, I spot a small department library which must be related to men's reproductive health, because the sides of the shelves are all shaped like penises and it is hilarious. I take a couple photos with a phone I now have and some idiots come by complaining that I am not respecting the privacy and right to image protection of the people inside the library. I explain that I am only photographing the dicks, yet they still bother me. I go away and pass by the cafeteria. I am so hungry and I need a coffee and I am glad they have very cheap prices, like coffee for 35 cts and nice cakes and a variety of weird sandwiches. They also sell something weird like a hot dog but the sausages are not served whole, they are cut in slices, dipped in different sauces and then spread on a weird bread. The sauce's flavors are awful, like mint, cranberries, strawberry and I just can't find one I would consider edible.
    5. 16 Dec: Try to grift Ronaldo as a teen, car crash and helping a kidnap victim

      by , 12-16-2021 at 09:56 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Back to the past with my parents. We're in Lisbon, at some metro station. Looks brand new although it has the vintage look before modern renovations. We are looking for an exit and go through a door which leads directly to inside a mall. But not the entrance, but to some service corridor on the back of the cinema area. So some lady says we can't be there and tries to push us out. But I find another door on this corridor, which actually leads to the interior of the mall and I pull my parents in. There is an arcade with old videogames and kids playing and my mom spots Ronaldo in his teenage years. She can't resist to go meet him and when she calls him for his name he looks surprised, because he doesn't recognize her. She doesn't explain it either and looks like a creepy old lady. I see an opportunity here and I push my mom aside. I tell him I'd like to talk to him. He is still the ugly teenager who wouln't say no to some good looking lady. So I take him away from the crowd and I slowly tell him that I am from the future and have something important to tell him. At first he thinks I am nuts, so show him my smartphone, trying to impress him, but he dismisses it and actually wants to know more of what I have to say. I tell him he is going to be one of the most famous people in the world and very rich and also look hot, so now I have his attention. I tell him he must follow my tips and do what I know he did in his life (i actually don't know much) so he doesn't miss the opportunities that lead him there. In exchange I only ask for his generosity when he does succeed, to share some of his wealth with me in the future, when I come to him. But he is very distracted, I ask him to repeat to me what I tell him about the teams he'll play on and he keeps messing it up and saying he will work at a post office. He also gets distracted with some lady in a car looking at us and them complains that his shorts are falling down because they're too large. I offer him several strings and pieces of fabric to use as a belt and while he sorts that out, I grab a paper to write bullet points for him. But I keep throwing them away because the text is never what I want. I wake up when I understand it is a dream.


      Getting my car out of a parking lot with my parents inside and I lose control and crash against someone behind us. If it was a small car it would have been crushed, but it is a big van from the Civil Protection services. The driver is upset but keeps calm. My parents come out of the car to mediate. He moves his car to a parking space and I follow him with mine. As I get out of the car, some slender girl bumps into me. She has some black silicone gag in her mouth and zip ties in her hands behind her back and seems to plead for help. She is so thin that I manage to pick her up and carry her in my arms. I take her inside my mom's house which is strangely right there, and I sit her in the kitchen while I cut the zip ties and remove the gag. She can't talk because she is in shock and has dry mouth. I ask mom for water. The guy from the van I hit is also there to help and as everyone tries to do something I ask them to please collect the objects with care and put them in plastic bags as they might have fingerprints for the police. I say I am gonna call the cops and my dad sighs. He says that once again I found something to keep myself busy. I don't understand his remarks since it is not my fault that stuff keep happening to me.
    6. ccci. Meeting at a church, Visiting an in-dream dream location, Living in a mall

      by , 07-11-2021 at 07:03 PM
      11th July 2021

      ~7:30
      Fragment:

      Transitioning from the TBC era to WLK era. T is there as his paladin at one point. There's something very Roman-esque about the setting? We need to complete some gold-payment quest to continue on into the city. There's a group of randoms with us, part of our party.

      Fragment:

      In a place like L, by the pier area I think. There's a lot of commotion because of an upcoming football match. It's dark-ish, twilight-like, orange and purple hues in the sky? I want to take the subway to go somewhere, but first I got into this church. Many people are leaving an on-going service in the church but many still remain.

      Aunt G enters the church, I notice her and approach, getting her attention. She eventually recognises me and I tell her we should go somewhere together (to make up for lost time?) because I realise this place is actually quite crowded. I don't entirely feel safe, I think. Someone, an older lady but not as old as my aunt, she's putting up cordons and tells us we can't go in a certain area of the church. She had white hair, maybe tied back.

      The church is artificially lit, quite a warm light which contrasts with the twilight. Originally I wanted to move towards one of the areas that was cordoned off. We end up leaving the church and heading down a nearby subway entrance.

      (recall gap)

      We are next to a guy who's a pipe maker. I tell my aunt how many churches just can't afford new pipes, even though they'd benefit from them. The pipe maker gives us a statistic; only about five-hundred thousand out of one and a half million can afford such things. I realise and remark that it's only a third. I also remark that the distribution is going to be geographically unfair or disproportionate, too.

      (after writing these two, I got up and had thoughts about WBTB as I got back in bed)


      ~10:00
      Fragment:

      Visiting a church with H. In the dream, I had a dream where I'd visited this church and it was sort of empty. So, when we're there together, I already know the layout. During the dream, this made me vaguely think of "vision quest" dreaming and that sort of thing (no doubt related to reading Dreamgates before bed). The church has an odd layout, the rooms are laid in an inwards spiralling fashion. One of the back rooms we go through is tiled and looks a bit industrial.

      It has four big cylindrical tanks, all white. They're about twice and a half our height. I understand them to be part of some boiler system. A man, possibly the warden, is showing us around the church, some kind of introduction.

      Before this, me and H are outside. We just got out of the van. It's dark? I don't remember the grounds too well but there are tall trees and low dry-stone walls. H shows me something about a painting, which resides out here, on the external church walls. The painting is very big, mostly vertical. It's about one yard wide by four yards tall.

      The painting itself is kind of sepia in tones. It has a sketch-like look. At first I just see some eyes at the top, like part of an incomplete portrait, but as I move it around (because I'm moving it to hang it on another wall), the image changes. On some level, this makes me think of those "holo" images.

      Fragment:


      At a mall place with H. We live in a flat inside the mall, accessible via an escalator through a store, it's either a clothing or jewellery store. Some people I know from school are here, there's some interaction. Rest of recall is gone.



      Notes:
      - We went today somewhere that took us the same road that we can take when we went to see a pipe maker. This was recently, so I wonder if that dream theme was influenced by this.

      - The TBC->WLK dream theme probably came from a nostalgia of the actual WLK period and from having some interest in its classic revival. On the other hand, I have little or no interest in paying to play the game, especially since there's very little social motivation for me to do so. The last time I went on, the atmosphere was more "toxic" than I recalled, something I found hugely disappointed, making me feel like some people just never grow up. Perhaps when I played many years ago, I was just that much younger that I didn't think much of it/just ignored it or maybe it wasn't that far removed from daily life, but now it would just bother me.
      -- I still find WoW dream themes to be fairly enjoyable, since they do tend to focus on the sense of adventure, combat or exploration, which were feelings that were much more present in me when I was younger. I haven't felt a genuine sense of wonder about anything at all for many years.

      - In the area where I used to live, the mall has flats over it. Although the mall in the dream had a more "airport-shops" feel to it, the rest of the associations seemed fairly close to memory of home.
    7. ccxcv. Creating a quest, working on a comic

      by , 07-04-2021 at 09:44 PM
      2nd July 2021

      Fragment:

      In Outland. Some alternate version of Helfire I've dreamed of before, years ago I think. It's a mix of Netherstorm in terms of landscape features but looks like Helfire. Something about me trying to get to level seventy but I find out that eighty is actually the maximum level, through seeing other players I think.

      There's a back-and-forth mix of D3 and WoW. I'm both trying to create a level twenty or so questline involving dragons, for the zone I'm in, I think; but also trying to work on an art project about an erotica comic in a M/M theme.

      (recall started fading at this point) At one point, I'm working on this comic project and alt-tabbing between games and drawings for reference and then H comes in to this odd office room I'm in and starts talking to me. The room is very wooden? A dark-ish stain, probably? H is kind of having a go at me for "not doing much". I feel annoyed and partly insulted, since I try as much as I can. Constant interruptions occur (not just or only from H but something else) while I'm trying to work on this questline thing.

      The dream eventually deviates into some other bit in a town.

      (recall gap)

      I'm in a subway starting at my home town and I'm sort of composing a train run schedule that will go from a yellow line to the blue line? Stations seem dark and unfamiliar, not to mention cramped, they seem more like my vague memory of the London underground and some other generic subways I've seen.

      I'm alone in this train with the conductor, I'm just in the passenger area at first looking at the maps. Then I knock on the door to the cabin or something and I tell him about what I'll be doing. I can see through the front glass that we are arriving at a station full of people, mostly university students or something, people in school uniforms. I tell the conductor that we can't stop here for now because "that's too many gamers" and that I'll add this station later on into the schedule.

      And I think about how they'd probably end up giving this new route I'm making a very bad reputation and causes issues later on. So I think to myself that they'll just have to catch a different train for now.



      Notes:
      - Feels like it's been a while since a proper subway dream, though I suppose I have had a few not that long ago, that come to mind.
      -- As always this should be enough of a cue to question reality, but it never seems to be enough, nothing seems to be enough.

      - Again, dragons. Dragons are rarely the central topic in my dreams. This time they weren't the focus of eroticism but seems there was still a loose link since I was working on both their questline and the erotic comic.
      -- This thematic could relate both to my difficulty in sticking to a single project and to the fact that I always want to do really involved things. Doing either a comic or a full questline are projects that require a lot of time and attention. Relating to the difficulty in sticking to a project, I often lose track of myself and my attention to things when things start feeling long.

      - Unusually, the train was symbolically under my control though indirect influence of its compliant conductor, maybe a metaphor about navigation, guidance or inability to lead action directly.
      -- Relating to this, I have found that I am much calmer and more able to work effectively if I'm not directly in charge of something. If I am in advisory or assisting role, I tend to be able to remain emotionally detached for better results. Thinking further about this, ironically this is not the case when it comes to doing artwork for others, since that's still primarily based on my own ability to lead artistically (since I'm not being asked to emulate another artists' style).

      - When in the dream H has a go at me, I think this is actually a metaphor for me having a go at myself. I do sometimes think I'm not trying as hard as I could be. I often think about how it feels like I'm not leading myself anywhere but also about how it feels so hard without anyone guiding me.
      -- The irony to me feels like even under guidance I still feel like I'm not getting guidance, which makes me feel like it's a problem relating to myself only and not to others and their interactions with me.
    8. cclxvi. Surreal cliffs and old friends, Queen's tour through the subway

      by , 05-14-2021 at 04:54 PM
      10th May 2021

      Dream:

      I'm on some cliff-top in a surrealist environment. There are many cliffs which are mostly straight up vertical and the height of mountains and the cliff I'm on is the same. There's a blue (cyan tinge?) but desaturated sky. I fall down to a lower rock platform on the side of the cliff but then I use drilling tools like the ones from DRG, quickly making my way back up through the rock. I make a guess as to where I'm going (based on some environmental factor?) and there are some parts where there are large swiss-cheese-like holes and openings in the cliff that I avoid.

      I then find and head inside some structure which has some hallways within. There's a clay-like tone to this structure? There are also some window openings in the walls but they are sort of perfectly squared off and have no glass or frame, but I don't recall wind or anything of the sort. There may be some lights inside the structure but I'm not sure. Then, there's a counter just by a hallway corner.

      On this counter-top, I place two kitchen knives. One is like our metal bread knife and the other is like one of the coloured knives, about the same depth, so probably the magenta one? Some dream characters appear behind me and they seem to be passing by, but other characters are just idling around. I interact with the passer-bys and they ask me casual questions, which I answer. They fit into the archetype of some of my black friends from school, but they are not these friends specifically. We just know each other in the same way.

      Then I move away from the counter. Someone shows up, I think AM (mom's friend L's daughter) But her skin is not as pale white as I recall it (don't notice this specifically in the dream?), her hair is darker and more like mine and she's a bit chubby. I say something about waiting "fourty years for my wife" and think about how different she looks. She sits and reclines on top of the same counter from before, her feet are bare.

      11th May 2021

      Fragment:

      Something about being with a big group, in a subway. Queen Elizabeth II is with us and is a part of our group. We board a train (looks like L subway) and the passengers who are already inside are staring and openly voice that they can't believe that it's actually the queen. She takes a seat and I sit beside her. I talk to her and tell her some story from my life, from years ago. She doesn't reply to anything I say and I interrupt myself remarking "you've probably heard it all before I suppose", realising that she is just that much older than me and must have heard and known the life stories of hundreds or thousands of people.



      Notes:

      - The night before the 10th, I was practising anatomy drawing and there was a woman in a reference image that fit the same typical appearance as what AM appeared like in the dream.

      - In the fragment's dreaming context we were on some kind of tour and the subway was a connecting point to get to somewhere else.

      - When I woke up, I think I had lingering feelings and found myself surprised at the dream passengers' shock for seeing the queen. In the dream the whole context felt absolutely normal and day-to-day.

      - I don't think I've dreamt of Elizabeth II before. In the dream she was much like my paternal grandmother in some respects, possibly even physically, but as a character she seemed tired, worn out.
      -- This probably comes partly as a result of having heard of the prince's passing but also a general curiosity about old age, partly mixed with my own feelings about how it must be very wearing to lead a life that is meant only for duty.
    9. 12 May: City blackout, investigating a missing case and adopting a ghost dog

      by , 05-12-2021 at 10:51 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Walking down Campo Grande in Lisbon, on the way to my university. It's evening or night and there is a blackout, the whole city goes pitch black. I walk around a little in the dark, trying to adjust my vision and then see a lady going to the nearby subway station and because I feel afraid being alone in such darkness, I follow her. Once we get deep inside the station, there are emergency lights on, but the subway is not working. The trains are stopped and jam packed with people who keep entering them, waiting for it to start moving.
      I wait for the chaos to subside and use the time to study the map of the subway network. Notice that it is more complex since last time I rode it and I notice a new line connecting other two, with a hub in Arroios station.
      The subway restarts circulating and I hop on a car, but make a mistake and end up going in the wrong direction. I discuss it with some people and some tourists handle me a map to help me out finding my way. I decide to get out on Arroios station and get back to my point of departure and find the right line. But when I take some escalators, I spot Jacqui and shout at her. She is happy to see me and I am totally surprised that she is here. She says she'll go back to the US really really soon and enjoyed some days in Portugal, but then I feel a bit offended that she didn't tell me or tried to reach me. Then we bump into Tânia, so the conversation shifts and we celebrate the coincidence of us three meeting there by accident.

      I am a woman with a kid, driving in a countryside road, when my car breaks down. Can't fix it, can't reach anybody on my cell phone and it is getting cold. I spot an abandoned car in the ditch by the side of the road, some dozens of meters ahead. It is very old and rusty, but I am interested in some sheets I see inside, looking strangely clean. I plan to get them so I can wrap myself and my kid around it and stay warm. I then change to an observer point of view and see the lady trying to get the sheets and being pulled by some ghostly force to the ground and then feet first being dragged into a swamp. She seems to lose consciousness and then be possessed by a spirit. A few small horns grow on her skull, including one on the back of the head under the hair. Also, there is a ghost dog.
      I then am again embodied in a person, I feel like my real self now, and I am visiting and institution, near where this lady disappeared, I think I am investigating her disappearance. This place seems like an hospice but it is most likely a boarding school or something similar for kids. I notice a huge black and white photo on the wall of the main hall. I ask who the person's are and they tell me to look closely to the right side, where there is an image of a lady. They claim she is now a ghost haunting the swamp nearby and there is a sort of ghostly dog figure with her that also appears on the picture to some people. I do see it and he is not still, he moves on the picture.
      I watch the picture more closely and the ghostly dog figure reacts to me. I talk to him and he jumps out of the picture and becomes real. He doesn't look scary, he looks like Bo. People in the institution are stunned when they see the dog. He is a sweet dog and just wants me to pet him. I don't know what to do, but I call my dad and he says he is willing to take him in. On the way there I clean him of some parasites, like some eggs of some wasps he has on his ears.
    10. Freaky subway nightmare | [11.05.2021]

      by , 05-12-2021 at 02:58 AM (Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation)
      Freaky subway nightmare
      I remember that the situation is like playing a video game again, although this time I feel like I am forced to play, despite my fear of seeing some gruesome image within it. Then I am in the game, physically, and it's regarded as real. There's something about being underground. There's something I don't remember, then I am in a sort of train with people, and I sort of have to save us by getting weird rubbery things on circular parts on a metal box that seems to be central to the function of the train. I notice nobody else is doing anything and that if we don't manage to do this, we will crash with full force into a sort of other chambers, which we are sort of falling into from the top, and to brake we have to get the rubber things on there. I also appear to be some female character relevant to the story, and she might have a name starting with A. I see that nobody else is trying to save us, so I animate them to help. But then, I struggle to do it, so we soon crash. But then suddenly, there's like a second try, so this time, the same things happen, except that this time, I manage to get most of the rubber things on. I think we will die again, but this time, the train brakes and stops in the chamber with no one hurt.



      This might not seem freaky, but there's some sort of deep fear associated with this gruesome image. There were some past dreams that were so horrible that I've supressed them, with a much stronger version of this fear associated with it that are still horrible to think about today. Not sure where this fear comes from, but I probably don't want to know, to be honest.
    11. cclviii. Train transit hub, Missing pasta

      by , 04-27-2021 at 10:57 AM
      24th April 2021

      Fragment:

      In a train station hub or maybe it's a subway. It's a vast place, made mostly out of concrete as far as I can remember. Either way, it's busy. I remember daylight shining through in places and I am walking in a tunnel of sorts with someone, maybe JoCo.

      Fragment:

      I'm in the kitchen, looking in the cupboard with the tinned and packaged food, I think? I notice some tortellini packs are missing most of the tortellini and they look vacuum packed. Some have like three or four bits of pasta at most and that's it. I feel annoyed that I somehow missed this detail at the shop and feel it'll be annoying to have to return these. I think to myself something like "they clearly aren't fit for having a full meal like this".

      Note:

      - Later the same day I think, I was talking to H about the second fragment and it was pointed out to me that the tortellini is always vacuum packed. I had not consciously realised this until that point.
    12. ccxxx. Kitchen nightclub, City of all, Stealth ops train

      by , 02-20-2021 at 01:19 PM
      20th February 2021

      Dream:

      Me and H are a nightclub which we own in the dream. It's like an expanded and stripped out version of our kitchen. It's a shady place. Though we don't allow drug dealing, it still happens, some people even talk openly about it in front of us. The lighting is moody; a mauve or red-like ambience. We have just recently installed some kind of small curtain things around these arcade console things lining the walls of the club.

      The place is very busy, packed pretty much. I recall seeing people were playing WoW in some form on these arcades, the curtains were supposed to provide a bit of extra privacy at a glance, but they didn't drape very far down, so someone standing up would mostly have the upper half of the screen blocked from their view.

      Eventually me and H cease to exist and it becomes more like I'm watching something I think. There are still two club owners, now they are a couple too, a tall and muscled man and a woman, somewhat Arabic in look. Both could be from my native country.

      Some person they talk to at one point who is using one of the arcades, reveals something important about gossip that's going around? This person asks the wife if she is wearing the new... whatever it's called in the dream, but it's slang for a skirt-type of clothing which is now considered to be sexy and naughtywear. More stuff happens at the club but I don't recall it.

      (recall gap)

      Then like I'm watching a dramatised documentary of some kind, there's an implicit feel of it being in some place like Jerusalem or Russia. I see backstreet, vacant type of places.

      Small bits of life for people of different religious backgrounds are shown. It's implied that in groups, sometimes people bully single individuals of other groups, despite the fact that this place is supposed to be a place for all to come together. I recall a scene where this Catholic boy is being chased away by some Orthodox teens or something.

      Fragment:

      An earlier dream. In a subway, me and a large organised group of individuals, part of some stealth ops type of thing and with appropriate gear. We are boarding a train and I remember we go through tunnels. Recall is too vague for details though.
    13. 20 Jan: Julian Assange and Keanu Reeves visit me, saving a rabbit, flirting some married guy

      by , 01-20-2021 at 10:22 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Julian Assange and Keanu Reeves somehow end up at my farm and we try to work together on a project.
      There are some German people nearby camping behind some bushes and we talk about their possible intentions and if I should fear them or not.
      At some point Keanu needs to go and I take him to the subway. For some reason we pretend not to know each other. Someone recognizes him. We depart ways and I join my mother at some other train.

      At some shop with newspapers, I start reading one and ask the cashier how much it is. It ain't cheap and I wonder if it's better to subscribe online version, so I don't buy it. I still had the chance to read a horrible story in it about some people who had killed a rabbit with a stick in the middle of a town. It was news because it was gore and unexpected. I feel so sorry for the rabbit and I am taken to the moment it happened. I see some men beating the poor rabbit with sticks and I interrupt them. Give time for the rabbit to run. I go after the animal because he is hurt, but he disappears in the crowd downtown. I then realize I am in Lisbon.
      I meet some people I know and walk with them a bit, but they end up in a jewellery shop to buy some gift to some friend and I get bored and leave.

      I see a lady with a kid, trying to get eggs from a chicken coop at the local parish. Some eggs are out of reach so I offer to help and I walk them home afterwards. They live in a small appartment in a building she says is full of drug addicts. But I think her place is nice, just very empty. She only has a bed. I then meet her husband, a tall handsome man and apparently he likes me to. After spending a day with them, it's time to depart and we hug. My hug with him lasts too long, I am getting horny and I feel his boner. We forget his wife is watching until she makes some uncomfortable comment. I just leave.
    14. clxxxviii. Concrete subway

      by , 11-09-2020 at 10:14 PM
      9th November 2020

      Initial note: Some parts of the dream were clearly about having to get ready in the morning but other parts felt more random. I didn't sleep through the whole night, having struggled to fall asleep and to stay asleep for most of the night, but only recalled the morning dream.

      Dream:

      The entirety of the dream takes place in what seems to be a subway and in some parts there's a feel of it being mixed with the layout of my old home.

      I remember being naked and at one point there's some kind of mini game thing happening and
      Spoiler for semi-graphic:


      And then the egg thing would hatch and a prize would come out of it, like a kinder-egg prize toy or something, but the prizes were completely random. As I kept doing this, things like bathroom spray cleaner bottles and other mundane objects would be "spawned" by the hatched eggs I was using. I think to myself very clearly "wow, it's almost like magic, but how do the companies make them appear as if they spawn from thin air from these comparatively very small eggs?" I add to the irony of this by then thinking "it must be some kind of quantum gateway tunnelling, I think", completely missing the cue.

      Then I remember getting dressed with my usual clothes, the ones I'd be wearing today basically. I don't remember putting socks on but I know I hadn't put on a top just yet. I recall an escalator which I go down on, it goes a long way forward and not very far down so it has a very small degree of elevation per step. The subway area itself is very much like the ones I've been used to from my old home area but far more vast and of incredible depth/height. For a while I'm the only person in the entire place.

      Then I hear dad calling for me and telling me about how we had to get on with it and get ready. (prior to this whole dream I had a waking moment where I had checked the time and it was still more than an hour's time away from my alarm going off) Mom is also here now and she's telling me about how T lost his citizen's card/ID in the subway just recently. I comment that I couldn't possibly lose something like that out of my wallet because it's all stuffed in quite tightly.

      Dad seems disappointed that we (me and T or me and H?) weren't ready sooner, but I tell him it's not even 8AM yet and he doesn't really change his tune, insistent that we should be more prepared or something to that effect.

      My recall faded a bit but eventually I had to go back to get a hoodie and I'm trying to not get lost in what seems to be an Escher-like maze quality that the subway seems to have. The entire underground area is very well lit but I'm left with an impression of darkness and recall the construction was primarily concrete, so it felt like a recent or cheap construction.

      I recall that at some point, there were some more particular things that had hatched from my eggs; one was a bony black creature with wings, like a dragon, but not. It had a frayed look, worn. At first I genuinely thought it was a toy because it started out inanimate and in a sort of fetal position? But when it started moving around I began to hope it wouldn't cause any chaos or mayhem while we were away for work today (pre-lucid thought).

      Another peculiar item that spawned from the eggs was a very authentic/official looking piece of scrap paper telling a military person who he should be looking at and what he should be doing when activating a nuclear arsenal. The paper had Spanish writing but it was mostly in English. The other military person mentioned was a "Dahlia" something or other, of an enlisted rank (sergeant comes to mind?).

      At the top of this thick paper were two groups of Hebrew or Jewish 6-point stars and taking up the right half of the document were some watermarked bald-eagles or something, but the paper was torn around this area. I couldn't make up my mind on where this document could possibly originate from, thinking about Mexico, the USA, Israel and other places. But I remember being amazed by the document and trying to tell H about it in the dream.



      Notes:

      - In the dream, I don't recall any of the "subway" area actually having any rail tracks. It just had the same feel as some stations I've been in, but on a bigger scale. I never did reach a terminal at any point in the dream, nor did I see any trams/trains. The whole place was very bare. Although subways used to be a common dream sign for me, they rarely feature quite as much as they used to a few years ago, probably since I don't use them currently.

      - Apart from how it felt physically, there was nothing particularly sexual about the mini-game thing.

      - I think part of what brought about the small dragon-like creature was the fact that H's cat had to have some emergency care very recently and so was looking quite "patchy" and ruffled when I saw a picture.

      - Part of what brought about the very peculiar military document was probably because I was reading about colonising of the Americas in general last night and also looking at different maps about the subject. Dahl and its variations is a name I find interesting but apart from the similarly named Borderlands fictional military-arms company, I'm not sure what would have prompted a character to be called Dahlia in one of my dreams, but it's not the first time a random word has been put together.

      - Although I don't recall what it was anymore, something did happen if I didn't use the eggs and just allowed them to hatch by themselves and from my perception (with it being a mini-game of some sort) this was "bad".

      - At the time of this dream I had recently been speaking to a transgender friend of mine, whom I hadn't spoken to for quite some time.

      Updated 11-14-2020 at 06:47 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , side notes
    15. Watching old photos with William. Biking, children, Subway. Gustav scams me.

      by , 11-03-2020 at 04:48 PM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I'm in a line with smaller children. There is a leader that is calling us out one by one. The leader says "Oxygen, hydrogen... What comes next?". I am supposed to answer the question after I have run the obstacle course. I run to the course and have to go on small hinders. It seems pretty easy but I have a really bad sense of balance and almost fall all the time. When I am at the end of the course I sit down with William and watch some photos of us. There is a beautiful photo of me and William when we sit under the apple tree by the front door of Det Röda Huset in Sturkö. William is leaning against the tree and I am sitting closer to the camera and is watching up on the leaves. The leaves are really close to the ground and I could easily touch them if I streached my hand up when I sat down on the picture. The light is magical and is giving us a living feeling on the photo.

      Notes: I have encountered photos of different things a lot in my past dreams. Me and my family watched some old photos of us some weeks ago.

      I'm biking by Saltö to town but I'm lying with my stomach on the seat without my hands on the bicycle handlebars. It is hard to steer the bike and I almost crash with some cars because I can't follow the curves of the road very good. A kid bikes next to me and he is talking about something. We come to a playground site and there are a lot of kids playing there. It reminds me a lot of the Rosenfeldt playground. I walk into Subway that is in the place where the school actually is. There is a note on the wall that says that I have to do a cleaning task. I feel my energy disappear and I want to disappear too. I think about how I shouldn't have a cleaning task because I don't work this week. I walk out and there are Diego and Lisa (Håkansson's cousin). Lisa is jumping and is happy. I meet a monster that looks like a human but he is green and furry. He wants to hug me and I feel fear. I become semi lucid. I think to myself that if I think that he will tickle me he is going to tickle me. I can't resist the thought and he tickles me. I try to wake myself up but I jump in and out of the dream instead. I come in and out of his grip.

      Notes: I saw a video of a man biking like I did a year ago.

      I have a pillow that makes time go faster. Apparently it's Gustav's invention and David says that I can buy it. I say that I want to buy it and David says it costs 120 000 kr (13 500 USD). I feel bad because now I don't have any money left. I think to myself that it is worth it because this invention is amazing. I walk around and see Gustav in a room, he plays Minecraft. I think to myself that he will use my money so he doesn't need to work and that he is lazy. I walk to a factory and Klaus is there. I see some inflatable pillows and I get to know that they are wrongly designed. I notice that my pillow is one of the wrongly invented ones. I get to know that my pillow doesn't make time go faster, it is broken and sends electricity throughout your body so it feels like time goes faster. My inflatable pillow grows and attaches on me. I feel the electricity and it is painful.

      Notes: I wonder what all the deceit means. Nobody has lied to me recently. 120 000 kr is important because it is the sum of my mission cost.

      Updated 11-03-2020 at 04:52 PM by 97565

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