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non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Some apocalyptic kind of scenario, muddy and populated by dangerous monsters. I encounter Pedro Pascal and while we are hiding and trying to escape some dragon like creature, we start making out. He is wearing a white shirt that is too immaculate for this scenario, I put my hand under it and then towards his pants. It gets serious, but the last thing I remember is me holding his dick before we see a drone outside in the sky, then other lights and again the dragon dark silhouette in the distance. Then dragon comes closer and is surrounded by orbs with lights. I comment how unusual that is and then a bunch of dinosaurs stampedes from nearby towards us, followed by a T-rex.

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions

2018-12-11 Biblical surgery and alien eviction leads through death to a search for stronger communication with my stomach, realised through talking to a white horse/camel.

This entry will be written in Danish as I intend to use it in therapy.

Drømmen starter med at jeg ser et opslag på Facebook. Dette er et som Casper Møller har delt og er et billede og en tekst af 1:1 revelations (kan ikke huske navnet) med en mand der ligger på en mellemting mellem en sarkofag og et operationsbord. Det har en meget stærkt tema om Lucifer, hans fald og periodiske genopstandelse før Jesus vender tilbage. Billedet er også en video og jeg klikker på den og en stemme går i gang med at læse teksten op.

Mens teksten læses op suges jeg ind I scenariet. Jeg bliver til en dæmonisk skikkelse, der ligner en klassisk grå alien fra diverse film. Det er mig der opererer på manden der ligger på bordet. Der er en forholdsvis ondskabsfuld stemning, som dog skifter I løbet af forløbet. På en eller anden måde stopper den her alien/jeg op og får ændret situationen og gennemfører ikke operationen. Faktisk kommer en anden alien ind I billedet og ser ud til at glæde sig til at deltage, men den første begynder at slå sig selv I stykker og på grund af et eller andet han har lavet på operationsbordet betyder det at den nye tilkommer også begynder at gå I stykker.

Dette får dem begge til at flygte. De flygter ud af lange og smukke gange, der er rødlige og har et royalt udseende, og mens de flygter ses der billeder af maget muskuløse mænd og kentauere der bliver vækket – på en eller anden måde med fornyet gejst på grund af rumvæsnernes flugt – og jager rumvæsnerne ud.

Scenariet skifter hurtigt til at se paladset udenfor. Det virker til at finde sted på en anden planet, men det er lyst og det ser meget æstetisk og majestætisk ud. Ud fra det sted hvor den lange gang ville være kommer nu et gylden sfærisk fartøj, som er rumvæsnernes. Det beskyder byen under det med nogle gyldne laser stråler, men besvares så rigeligt af byens blå laser stråler og forsvinder til sidst.

Der skippes.

Jeg ligger udenfor ved en svømmepøl, jeg ved blot at jeg ligger og der er en fornemmelse af at ting “stopper”. Dette finder sted et par gange. Vejret er grålig og det virker til at det trækker op til regn, selvom det har en sydlandsk feriestemning over sig. Der sidder fire mennesker foran mig, hvor en af dem er min mor. Muligvis min kusine, min far og en fjerde ubekendt. Min mor fortæller.

“Nåh, han er i gang med hans døds-process” og insinuerer at det bare skal have lov til at fortsætte.

Jeg er meget forvirret hver gang jeg vågner og det er svært helt at beskrive hvad der sker. Min bevidsthed fortætter ligesom og jeg føler mig stadig som mig selv, men det er som om der er noget der stopper og som om at det hele stivner til og jeg falder ind I mig selv.

Da det er ved at være overstået vender min mor sig imod mig og krammer mig, på en kvælende og klam måde, som gør at jeg bliver nødt til at skubbe hende væk. Hun spørger mig: “Du gennemgik din døds-process, det var meget spændende, hvor mange gange døde du?” hvortil jeg svarer “Det ved jeg ikke helt, måske 3-5”.

Da jeg svarer dette er vi nu indenfor I et hotel, med et meget ru gulv med små sten der har en gummiagtig karakter at gå på. Det hele er meget blåligt og jeg siger. “Jeg ved ikke helt hvor jeg er, det er enormt forvirrende det hele, det eneste jeg kan se er at jeg er I et blåt hotel, jeg aner ikke hvorfor eller hvor lang tid vi har været her.” Jeg kan ikke huske om min mor rent faktisk spørger mig om jeg kan huske mit værelsesnummer, men jeg siger I hvert fald “jeg bor på værelse 422”, hvortil min søster og mor griner en smule og en af dem siger: “Nej du bor på værelse 527”.

Jeg føler mig ikke stødt over deres latter, men finder en trappe jeg kan gå op af der kan tage mig til mit værelse. Den første trappe går ikke højt nok op, mens den anden faktisk går højt nok op og også indikerer at mit værelse ligger lige rundt om hjørnet. Problemet er blot at der er en glasplade der fungerer som et bord lige overfor trappen I hjørnet der blokkerer, eller I det mindste gør det enormt besværligt og måske endda lidt farligt, min vej. Endvidere når jeg kigger hen til venstre I retningen af mit værelse kan jeg se at vejen er spæret af en glasdør og bagved dem står der nogle lamper der indikerer at den vej er brugt som et hyggehjørne og vil gøre det hele endnu mere besværligt. Så jeg vælger i stedet at gå ned igen.

Jeg går udenfor og har min madras med som jeg normalt sover på. Den skal børstes af og det går op for mig at der er nogle eller en person(er) der ofte går over den og efterlader en masse sand på den, så den skal rystes. Jeg kan også mærke en smule irritation omkring det, men ved ikke helt hvem det er.

Herefter skifter scenen til at jeg nu ligger på min madras på mit værelse I hovedgård, som det ser ud. Kaiseren – eller I hvert fald en mørk skikkelse med hans energi – kommer ind og giver mig en dåse danskvand. Jeg åbner den og begynder ivrigt at drikke da jeg er super tørstig. Kaiseren siger “Pas på med at drikke for meget, det kan være giftigt”. Jeg drikker – lidt trodsigt – halvdelen af dåsen hurtigt, og sætter den fra mig og siger “Det gør ikke noget det gør ikke noget for mig det her” og kan mærke at jeg stadig er ekstremt tørstig og tør om munden.

Jeg hopper ud af sengen og går ud af en dør og befinder mig nu I en baggård. Der er en have-lignende stemning, det er lidt mørkt og der står en palme I midten af græsset. En ældre kvinde med kort krøllet gråt hår og store runde briller – mens jeg skriver dette kommer en tredje association ind – som minder om min Moster og Kirsten, min terapeut, men også en klient jeg har – Lotte.

Hun siger “Dennis du bliver nødt til at forbinde dig med din mave, den kan nok være lidt svær at komme I kontakt med fordi du putter så meget lort I den.” Jeg svarer: “Jamen det lyder mega fedt, jeg vil vildt gerne I mere kontakt med min mave” og tænker straks på de nylige spændinger, smerter og ukendte emotionelle påvirkninger jeg har oplevet.

Jeg begynder at blive lucid her da jeg begynder at kalde “Mave! Mave!” hvor den kvindelige figur stopper op og siger: “Du skal følge vinden, hvis du vil finde hvad du søger”. Hun får implicit fortalt at jeg blot skal finde den retning hvor der er direkte modvind hvis jeg vil etablere kontakt til min mave igen.

Jeg er vildt begejstret for dette trick og kan mærke at jeg kan bruge det I fremtidige drømme også. Jeg drejer mig rundt – imod uret – og finder ud af at der hvor vinden blæser mig lige I fjæset er der en lille sti imellem to bygninger der leder ud til vejen. Jeg begynder at gå derhen og ser en strandpromenade, som minder om den jeg har været på så mange gange I Thailand, og mens jeg går råber jeg “Mave!” gentagen.

Jeg ser en Raptor gå forbi udenfor og bliver en smule skeptisk. Jeg snupper en kort pause og fortsætter så. Nu kommer jeg ud og kan se ned på vejen – jer er pludselig I et hotelværelse – og der går en masse spændende mennesker, dyr og andre objekter jeg kunne interagere med dernede.

Jeg råber igen “Mave!” og ser til venstre, hvor der går en T-Rex, som jeg jo har historie med, og træder et skridt tilbage. Jeg står nu I et relativt lille og mørkt hotelværelse, foran vinduet der er firkantet og med klart sol lys skinnende igennem. Jeg beslutter mig for at hvis det er T-Rexen jeg skal snakke med for at komme I kontakt med min mave, så må det være sådan det er u-anset hvor bange jeg måtte være for det.

Så jeg træder ud på taget og ser pludselig at der er længere ned end jeg havde regnet med. Jeg bliver lidt bange for bare at hoppe ud I det, så sætter mig ned I lotus stilling indtil jeg begynder at svæve ned. Jeg kan mærke på vej derned at der er lidt meget fart på, det er nok til at hjertet lige slår et ekstra slag uden jeg er bange for at slå mig. Dog fornemmer jeg at jeg har mistet overblikket så meget at den vej jeg gerne ville ned på med de mange dyr og mennesker ikke vil være der, fordi jeg har mistet mit fokus. Jeg tænker dog også at det ikke vil gøre noget.

Da jeg endelig lander ser jeg at den vej jeg var på er væk. Den jeg står på er mindre befærdet og det er pludselig blevet nat, men det er faktisk stadig den samme strandpromenade. Jeg tænker at de nok skal gå og råber igen “Mave!” og spinner mellem 270 og 360 grader rundt om mig selv imod urets retning.

Her ser jeg en stor hvid hingst komme løbende og mens jeg råber “Mave!” begynder den at ride hen imod mig. Jeg spørger den om den er min mave og I det jeg gør det bliver den til en hvid kamel, med tre pukler, hvor den forreste af de 3 er delt I 2, selvom det ser sundt og raskt ud, som om den egentlig blot bærer en genetisk mutation der giver den denne tredje to-delte pukkel.

Den svarer at den er min mave og jeg knæler for den, hvilket den svarer med at lægge dens venstre hov på mit tredje øje. Derefter skifter den til at blive en venlig og varm 44-årig mand, med kort gråt hår. Jeg spørger “Hvad skal jeg gøre for at komme I bedre kontakt med dig” og han svarer “Din mormor kom til at trykke en lille knogle I stykker hernede (inde I højre hofteskål, hvor psoas løber) da du var 3 år gammel, det var ikke med vilje, men det kan man også se på billeder.” Der er en implicit besked der handler om at denne skade/traume ikke har været kendt og at noget kropsterapi kan have forværret det, men også at der ligger noget derfra der stadig rumsterer. Jeg svarer “Ah, jamen jeg har jo også fået scannet indersiden af mine hofter, så der vil man kunne se det?” han svarer “Jaaa, jooo.” med en tudelig intonering om at det ikke er helt rigtigt, men at det heller ikke er helt ved siden af.

Drømmen Ender og jeg vågner med en meget rolig, afslappet og rar fornemmelse I kroppen. Det var tidligt, men jeg stod op og fik mediteret med min mave som fokus, fik lavet yoga, danset og TRE og fik mig noget morgenmad og følte mig godt tilpas.

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions

I have recently taken up using the voice recorder for recording dreams, but in preparation for the upcoming dream workshop I will be running I will start using manual entry again. I need to get quick, to the point and sharp in sharing dream content with others, so I can be a leading example for the people I coach.

Now before I start out with writing the dreams of the previous 3 nights, which I have bullet pointed on paper there is a couple of highly significant dream I want to write up. These all pertain to the significance of the Dinosaurs, particulary the T-Rex, in my dreams, as these have heralded some pretty significant developments over the past year. In fact just sitting down listening to some of the files have sent goosebumps through my body at some of the symbolisms and messages contained in these dreams.

The first occurred during the summer of 2016, I was in full swing with writing my thesis and I had seen a blossoming of my use of cannabis, cigarettes and other kinds of addiction. As such I had started working directly with my dreams with regards exploring the reason for my smoking, or addiction in general.

I had noticed that recently a T-Rex had started appearing as a repeating theme in my dreams. Like for instance I saw him in a hotel roof top pool on 01-08-16, where I hid in a pool with a friend trying to avoid being caught – where I speculate that he is connected with investigation of smoking. Or on 08-08-16 I found myself in a dinosaur park, a la Jurassic Park, with a hole in the fence, where the T-Rex was on the inside, but I end up getting caught by a raptor and eaten just outside the park in a broken car, where I was trying to hide out. And such I started setting intentions for my next lucid dream to investigate what this symbol of the T-Rex could represent.

I don't have a record of this lucid dream where I manage to summon the T-Rex, but it occurred within a couple of weeks following the setting of the intention to investigate, before 01-09-2016, when I moved out of the place I was living and back in with my parents.

I recall being awake in the morning, to then go back to sleep with the intention to summon the T-Rex.

“Summoning the T-Rex”

I am sat in our living room. It is forenoon and I am texting M – a primary school class mate, whom I have always maintained a slight crush on. We are talking about a party and I feel I am somewhat intruding, but she end up inviting me around.

Then all of a sudden a text message rolls in from the phone company, which reads something like “We are all one, you no longer need to put in the number or contact of the person you are trying to reach it will happen automatically.” This stumbles me a bit, but I don't think much further of it.

There is a slight skip.

I find myself in a bus headed out from Aarhus towards Hornslet. I speculate on the nature of “oneness” and start feeling my consciousness drift outwards, though not quite becoming one. At one point a bus pass in the opposite direction and a choir of children are singing a song, with the lyrics “we are all one” included.

The bus drives off the high way and I find myself walking on the road below, heading under the bridge with the highway on top.

I am with my old friend Tim and we are walking together. I look up and I see a hawk sitting in mid air, which I find curious as its wings are placed alongside its body. It basically looks like it is sitting on a stick, though there is no stick there to be sat on.

Then it makes a rapid dive and hits the ground beak first right next to me, which startles me quite a lot.

We walk on, towards the bridge, past a couple of bushes on the side of the road that have purple flowers on them. As we walk a couple of smaller birds come flying straight towards my face, so I have to step quickly to the left to avoid being hit.

I start thinking to myself: “This is truly strange behaviour for birds.” and as we approach the bridge finally I see a crow sitting in one of the bushes by the side. I start looking around and I decide to look at my hands.

I become lucid and I spend a few moments stabilising the dream, and when I feel comfortable I start thinking about my goals.

“Ah the T-Rex!” I say out loud and abandon my friend to go look for him. I turn around, away from the bridge in the opposite direction and start screaming out over the fields “T-Rex, Where Are You??” but I don't get a response.

I find myself next to a crash barrier, again screaming out over the fields for the T-Rex. Then I start feeling fear, although I am also aware of it all being only a dream. So I skip back across the road and climb a small elderflower tree.

I shout for the dino to appear again and this time I get a response, though from a group of children behind the bushes of which the tree I have climbed is a part. They say “We tried calling him, he doesn't want to show up.”.

I then try to scream out for him, mimicking his roar. The Children respond in a laughing way “We tried that as well, it won't help.”

I sit for a brief second before the dream starts fading and I “wake up”.

I find myself in my room and walk out towards the living room. Outside I see a lot of plants and it is raining.

“Hang on a minute it wasn't raining when I was awake earlier” I think to myself and realise I am still dreaming.

I turn around and walk back into my room and stare at my computer screen.

I turn around, while still being within the realms of the computer game that was on the screen and look up. I find a long and narrow dirt pathway, surrounded by a fence on the right hand side and bushes on the left.

Up at the entrance – or T-cross – I see the T-Rex come sprinting around from the right hand side. I get anxious and excited as I start running towards him. It seems like the dino knows we only have a limited amount of time to complete the encounter.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN??” I scream at him as we run towards one another. There is no response, and I feel my fear rising as we continue to sprint towards one another. “WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME??” I try instead and just as we are right in front of one another and I am staring into his wide open jaws he transforms.

All of a sudden a ghost appears before me, with the limbs of the dino sprawling out behind the spectre hanging a few metres above the ground.

“Michela!?!?” I exclaim in utter surprise.

I wake up.

Michela represents a previous romantic affiliation gone sour, very sour indeed. Both in terms of the pain I felt when she left, but also because of the stressful situation I was facing with quitting my job. I awoke with a multitude of new angles to investigate my addiction to cigarettes from, which included the shame and loss of pride I felt from loosing her – the shame associated with not being able to attract a woman and keep her faithful, more so than actually loosing her being particularly painful.

A couple of months later I started on a spiritual education and at the time I was still smoking cigarettes. I started a practice of smoking without guilt and I recall arriving at the first module having spent 6 hours without smoking. I felt the physiological cravings, but I didn't feel the desire to smoke, which I found facinating.

I continued to the first module and when we arrived in the first opening sharing circle and were briefed that we would be opening up, diving into intimacy, then it hit me. I was now experiencing full on craving and desire at the same time as I was experiencing fear towards intimacy at the same time as it was the only thing I truly desired. And from this experience I recalled another meaning associated with Michela.

The next dream took place I think in the beginning of April, the first time F and I slept in the same bed, and seeing as we kissed the first time on April 3rd I believe the accurate date is 14-04-17 as this is 2 weeks after the date of our first kiss.

“Dino makes a gesture”

I find myself alone in a small and humble cabin. It is bright morning/forenoon and the sun is shining through the windows. The cabin is located in a large garden that is surrounded by tall walls in a rectangular fashion, with the cabin taking central space.

Suddenly outside I hear/feel the T-Rex approaching, and this time I recognise his presence. There seems to be a telepathic or at least non-verbal acceptance of one another, a kind of respect with a hint of fear, but this time from both parties.

I venture out of the house to see what is going on. There is a clothes line with clothing on it immediately next to the house.

I never actually see the T-Rex, but I find that after he has been circling the house he has left me a circular meditation mat against the clothing line.

End of dream.

I wake up feeling excited. I have just slept next to a woman I am madly in love with and I find that I for the first time actually like sleeping up close to her.

I experience a brief feeling of alarm, but I quickly re-frame the story positively as I tell F about the dream.

Now I acknowledge that interpreting dreams in hindsight is easier than trying to gleam out the prospective material from the time of their occurrence. However this dream theme I believe heralded a powerful spiritual lesson.

The first appearances of the T-Rex motif happened just after a relationship had developed from an intimate/romantic nature to a friendly one. In this relationship I discovered a tendency to become extremely preoccupied with me feeling responsible for the emotional state of the other. This responsibility was coupled with an elevated sense of anxiety for loosing her. However the appearance of Dinosaurs happened before.

A funny thing is that the following entry- which took place pretty much immediately after my fling (Karen) and I had started getting romantic - 08-04-16 Surviving the Ocean Quest in the desert - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views Actually occurred simultaneously with my then fling having a reciprocal dream, of being taken to the desert by frightening shadow figures that gave her the mission to gather all the animals for the ship. Now I am aware this synchronisation makes more sense to me on a subjective level – we had been practising trying to dream share, and a lot of themes in the dreams were in line with what was happening in our waking lives – however even if this is disregarded this is the first appearance of the “Dino theme”.

Specifically the purple dinos shooting an assortment of weaponry at my heart – which I at the time interpreted as a symbol of having my heart broken a couple of times in order to finally open up – seems to indeed have been at play, though increasing in complexity and meaning over the past year. Let me illustrate a bit further.

When the T-Rex and the Raptors start making their appearance, as I mentioned the relationship had moved in a friendly direction, which I told her I was OK with, but I was quietly mourning the loss I felt.

During this time as mentioned I had started seeing a rise in my consumption of cigarettes and cannabis. I felt stressed with my thesis and on top of this stress I was overwhelmed by the insights into myself and my shifting perspectives of the world through my world with Ayahuasca, and as such I sought to slow it all down a bit though the use of cigarettes and cannabis.

The Dino dreams appeared in between spouts of regular cannabis use, as I had a somewhat ambivalent relationship to this medicinal plant. On the one hand I was grateful for the visionary aspects and emotional teachings, at the other I was aware that it was stealing my dreams – although this latter aspect was sometimes a welcome aspect when I felt things were moving too quickly.

When I decided to summon the T-Rex I thought it was somehow related to my addictions, and it turned out accurate. However the transformation from T-Rex into my ex-fling added a twist I hadn't seen coming, which was the connection between addiction and love-relational issues.

From the first observation of my feeling responsible for the emotions of a lover, I immediately suspected that I was dealing with a pattern established in early childhood. Due to my parents' difficult relation my mother was always stressed and frequently displayed intense outbursts of anger. I particularly recall an episode – think I might have been 3-4 years old – where my sister and I were sat in our room on the floor and Mother comes down. She gets angry about the mess, picks up a play guitar and throws it across the room hitting my sister in the head, resulting in a hospital visit and a scar on her face. This and other incidents I hypothesise fostered the self-concept that “mother's emotions are dangerous, and I am responsible”.

Following the dream as I mentioned earlier I saw a striking connection between the fear of intimacy and my addictions, and around the same time I had another T-Rex dream, though he played a smaller part in this (as he transformed into a dragon and cleansed an entire island and evolutionary history through a fire bath). This dream heralded the cleansing phase I have gone through roughly the past year of getting acquainted with my relational fears, addressing them and letting go of old self images that no longer serve me.

During November of 2017 I had an Ayahuasca ceremony specifically directed towards examining my addictive behaviours. The themes that emerged were memories of my mother being very harsh on me playing as a boy – that she didn't have the energy required to play with me. As such I was forced to put a lid on my playful energy, which in adolescence transforms into sexual energy, resulting in great shame about my own emotional and sexual nature. Ayahuasca provided a definition of my addiction as “the behaviour that arise as a result of wanting to escape the constant narrative of self-loathing and self-blame”. The self-blame I have already discussed, the self-loathing is partly directed at the feeling that sexual and playful aspects of me are “wrong”.

I would later be presented with my dad's contribution towards the ease with which I accepted the “I am wrong” self-concept, though that will be a different story, though basically it has to do with him (a) raising me through commands; (b) never complimenting me on anything; (c) always questioning whether or not I had performed a certain task; (d) being critical on anything that deviates from the norms he deems liveable.

Let me quickly add that I love and adore both of my parents, who supports me like rocks in their own respective ways. A deep realisation on this spiritual path has been that most of the times our behaviour arise out of conditioned responses we are not to be blamed for. My parents did the best with what they had available, it isn't a question of them not loving me.

In February 2017 I met F. There was a striking explosion of energy running through my body at our first embrace and as I mentioned she is the first woman I have slept next to – we have never had physical sex – that I felt not only comfortable sleeping against, but good.

We started out helping one another with the processes of Ayahuasca, but after about a month it became clear that there was a deeper connection. It turned romantic and sensual, but a series of complications eventually led to this romantic aspect destabilising.

The T-Rex dream where he presents a meditation pillow I hypothesise – according to the Jungian notion that dreams can have a prospective, future development directed meaning – was a way for me to truly observe the nature of my relational problems.

During our romantic affiliation I started feeling insecure, as she was still entangled with her boyfriend. She had stated that she wanted him out of the house and leaving him, as well as not feeling comfortable with his touch and being intimate with him. This in my mind made him an Ex-Boyfriend and I believed that this was the path she wanted to go down, however it quickly changed into something else where it became obvious that he would be spending a significant amount of time with her, sleeping in the same bed as her.

I felt like she was manipulating me, using me to instigate changes in him so he could become a better boyfriend to her. I was confused about her pulling back when our kissing, cuddling and petting got intense resulting in us never having anything but clothes-on-energetic sex (which however was a very powerful and potent experience for both of us I believe).

Following a week at her parents I was headed to the aforementioned education during a weekend, she slept with her boyfriend. There were quasi-valid reasons for her doing so, but I felt betrayed as we had in my mind agreed to a monogamous structure, although I had been open towards a more open constellation. I ended up forgiving her, with a few demands as to how our future relation – and the one she had towards her boyfriend – should look like. Demands initially met, but quickly broken.

This started the hell ride into jealousy, romantic ideation, mistrust and pain. I went into it with full consciousness and journalled about it vigorously. I saw how I didn't have energy to do anything but wait around hopefully for a message, constructing fantasies about her activities when she didn't contact me etc.

The point is not to arrive at a blame game, I have come to realise it takes two to tango and I have been overly focused on my own workings in this process, but this has been a profitable approach – as it is indeed the only thing I can ever change.

What I saw was that F quickly became my entire world. I felt love, and I felt terrified to loose it. She became an object I perceived would be able to fulfil my deepest yearning, to feel loved and appreciated – and I clung to her, constantly trying to get the relationship defined in ways that would guarantee the safety that she would be there to fulfil my needs. I became obsessed with having sex with her, I felt that it would make up for the shameful aspect of her having cheated on me. I saw how I was feeling the familiar feeling of anxiety of her leaving me as this “is the last chance for love” and similarly that she would move onto someone else the minute someone better came around – which would be pretty quick. These last observations illuminate a self-concept totally deprived of feelings of self-worth or feeling of being worthy of love an appreciation by another human being. I saw how I through expending all my energy on worrying about her behaviour, waiting for messages became fatigued and tired and couldn't keep up work on my own projects, which I abandoned.

There is much more information to the story, but I eventually arrived at a point where we had a conversation. In this she informed me of three key things that made me realise I had to quit the contact. She felt guilty towards her (ex)-boyfriend when she was with me, that she didn't really want him to understand that it was over and she couldn't promise she was never going to want to be with him again.

It was the hardest thing I have ever done, I was in so much pain and missed her like crazy. Following this quitting of contact I started working with the last of my addictions – which is sort of a tricky one – which is the tendency to intellectualise situations arriving at a conceptual understanding of things which put me in a positive lighting. Self-centered and also grounded in placing value in the opinions of others.

Gradually as these addictions fell away I was confronted with my underlying anxiety. I never knew myself to be a person experiencing anxiety, but that was what the addictions were for I suppose. I spent a few months experiencing extreme states of panic, which included a fear of dying, a fear of being abandoned at a future dimensional shift, as well as being rejected and abandoned in a romantic sense. It took a lot of breathing and being with the fear and panic and I was incapable of performing even the slightest actions that dealt with finding jobs, new residence or worldly matters in general.

Things got better, I still experience fear and anxiety, but when I do now I don't panic and try to get rid of it, rather I breathe into it and try and understand what it is trying to tell me and it seems a lot of things are shifting within.

I am back in contact with F, I love her, love the contact and am trying to manage my romantic inclinations towards her consciously, which at present involves awareness of how desire towards a particular outcome with her (ending up n a romantic relation) can result in suffering through envy and jealousy.

To come full circle back to the dreaming the present story illustrates the process by which working actively with intention, lucidity and analytical interpretation of certain dream themes that crop up repeatedly can help bring visibility to the sub conscious processes that govern our behaviour. I went through the process alone, yet I feel that had I not been so stubborn and approached someone with knowledge in these areas I could have progressed much quicker, perhaps even saving an intimate relationship in the process.

Well... In a sense I went to sleep at 1 a.m. so... Let's just get to the point

Not having any dreams worth mentioning for a while now, I haven't posted for quite a long time. Now this dream, however... This needed to be discussed.

It was about 1:30 a.m. and I was tired so I went to sleep. Got comfy real quick, set my alarm to 6:30 in the morning, all that stuff. Now here are the first set of dreams:

1. Oddly enough, I was a prehistoric animal (for some strange reason) and was in a cave when a... Tiger? Came by killing everything in sight. Now I still felt fear even though I knew it was just a dream. Maybe I wanted the dream to continue on? Either way, I stood against the wall and... For whatever reason the tiger just kinda skipped past me for no appearent reason. Knowing the big cat was still hungry I couldn't help but think it was some of my optimism. For example, I wouldn't've stayed still had I known I would get killed for sure. Anyways, walking out the cave I was led to my old bedroom for whatever reason. I then saw that same tiger waiting there, and at that moment when I walked out, I was my 5-year-old self with the same mindset as I am right now.

The tiger then said "What were you thinking?" I just stood silent. We went to the bathroom to discuss some things (for whatever reason) and the discussion stood quite stable. I said "I just knew if I stayed optimistic then maybe chances were I'd be safe. The tiger asked "You know I just killed your entire family, right?" To which I responded "and you know this is a dream where I can simply bring then back, right?". The tiger kinda just stood silent. I left the bathroom and well what do you know? I'm back to myself again!

In this dream, it seemed as school has started up. The date was August 17th on the first day of school. I then kinda teleported to my old school ('cause I hate my new school) and was in the workout room for some reason. Oddly enough, I was the one to view the dream this time. I saw a discussion going on about the whole tiger incident and it seemed like everyone knew about it. Though oddly enough everyone came back alive after the tiger killed everyone. I teleported home and it seemed like my dad was doing some work on the floors (I was back in my present home at this time) and my bedroom floor was oak instead of cherry for some reason. I then woke up to my 6:30 alarm.

I pretty much said "Screw you alarm, I'm going to find out what happens next!" And headed back to sleep. In the next dream I kinda saw a flashback on the things that happened and was in my old house again. Next thing you know the Tiger's a T-Rex this time. Oddly enough all is the same. This time we headed up the appalaichians Only to discover something was a bit off this time. We hit the tip and we were back in the bedroom.

Then we discovered a telescope in my room which i couldn't help but look through. All's the same, except when I look back the T-Rex is just gone. I then Lie in bed for a few wondering where they went, and then all the sudden what do you know, there's a 7-foot tall robot in my room for no appearent reason just taking off. I kinda shrugged it off until the T-Rex came back as a Tiger and we had the discussion. We kinda said our goodbye to eachother and the dream ended. I got a fine 13 hours of sleep when I woke up and my thoughts about the dream still remain as I typed this.

I woke up choking on phlegm as i saw it was 2:15 in the afternoon.

Please let me know what you think of this confusing dream in the comments.

A couple of days ago I had a dream that I and a group of survivors were hiding in a severely damaged house. It was a good-sized one story house that looked like it had just been through a hurricane. Walls had been knocked down and about half of the ceiling was torn off.

The house was our only cover from a T-Rex that was trying to kill us. I never saw the T-Rex, because I stayed behind the walls and went the opposite way that I heard it going. Anyways, I cautiously go through the livingroom and kitchen into the garage. There are other people evading the T-Rex as well. A guy told me about a gun that was somewhere. All I remember was that it didn't have ammo or had some other problem. I back track through the kitchen and into the livingroom, evading the T-Rex. END.

May 28, 2013
Lucid Dream 510: Zombie Crisis: Bathroom Shortage
Series: The End of Days, Episode 6
DILD
Technique: ADA



The first thing I can remember from the dream is running through a large shopping mall. It was a full blown Zombie Apocalypse. I felt panicked as I ran through the extremely fancy/high class shopping mall. Nami from One Piece was with me. She was a human version of herself (not animated). I knew there were very few humans left in the entire world and we were pretty much fucked. No weapons, no supplies and surrounded by an absurd amount of zombies. They weren't the slow and dumb kind either. We were trying to make to the rest of our group, who was at the far end of the mall. I was leading us through pack after pack of zombies and it would have been much easier if I was by myself, but Nami was following me and she kept having close calls. Finally, we made it to a hallway that was zombie free. Nami was scared and a bit panicky. I knew what would soon be coming from behind us and I cracked open the door in front of us to scout the next room. There were so many zombies that there was an extremely slim chance we'd make it through alive. I quietly closed the door and turned to Nami, who was crying and hunched down against the wall. I walked over to her and helped her to her feet. I said, "I'm going to be straight with you, it doesn't look good. If something happens to me, use me as a distraction and run. The group has got to be only a few rooms away." She cried a little harder and said, "They...they are all probably already dead. I can't lose you. I couldn't survive without you." I looked her in the eye and made her promise me that she wouldn't give up if I died. I could tell she was just promising for my sake and would have nothing left if I was gone.

Suddenly, the doors behind us burst open and hoard of zombies crashed through. I quickly kissed her and said, "Time to go!" I grabbed her hand and pulled her along until she snapped out of it. We entered the next room and I did my best to move the hoard of zombies around the room by using ourselves as bait to lure them into creating clean paths. I almost made it to the end of the room when we got cornered. I was suddenly grabbed from behind and pulled to the ground. The zombie was on top of me and I knew it was over. Suddenly, Nami speared the zombie off of me. Her and the zombie rolled a few feet passed my body. Before I could get up, the hoard and swarmed her. She stretched out her arm toward me and then disappeared in the pile of zombies. Her screams were deafening and then she fell silent. I scrambled to my feet, but it was over. She was surely in pieces by now. I felt like a zombie myself as I clumsily ran toward the door and exited the room. She had become my distraction. I ran down the empty hallway on auto-pilot. My legs just felt like they were moving on their own and I felt like something had died inside of me. I entered the next room, which turned out to be the "safe room" where our group was posted up.

There were so few of the group left and almost all of them had that "defeated expression" on their faces. A kid, about the age of 14, ran up to me and asked, "Where is Nami?" I couldn't hold back the tears. I told the group what happened, some cried and others just sighed as if they expected everyone to die soon anyway. A man burst through a side room and looked incredibly excited. He shouted to us that something had happened to the zombies. He explained that they had all suddenly recovered some of their humanity somehow. Since they had been eating so much as zombies, they now all had to take a shit since some of their humanity returned.

Next thing I remember, we are running through the mall and none of the zombies are even paying attention to us. They were all in huge lines in front of the bathrooms throughout the mall. Most were quiet and some were talking to each other, but just about everyone of them was doing the "butt-clinch, hold your stomach, dance." I asked the guy, "The all stopped chasing us because they all have to use the bathroom?" He said, "Yeah, its a miracle." I got excited and felt like we were going to make it. The environment got a bit fuzzy and I told the guy with me to stop, so I could stabilize the dream. BAM!! Lucidity.

Now lucid, I finally realized how ridiculous this situation was. I also noticed that the zombies had noticed the change from my non-lucid to lucid state. I quickly started talking to the guy next to me as if I hadn't just became lucid. The zombies went back to ignoring us. I decided to go along with the plot and told the guy to follow me, that we were all saved. I ran back into the safe room and Nami was there again. I asked her how she didn't die and she told me that she did die. She became a zombie, but she got most of her humanity back. She said the zombies who had fed the least on humans got the most humanity back. The rest of the people from the group were gone. Me, Nami, and the random guy took off out of the room. I started speed bursting and ramming through walls like a mad bull. I busted huge holes in them that caused small explosions.

Nami cut her arm on one of the holes and she started bleeding. She looked panicked and said, "Oh no. The blood will turn them back." Sure enough, a female zombie stumbled over and started sniffing the air. She shouted at us, "Hey you! What is that smell?" I told her it was my cologne, but she looked suspicious. I then grabbed the random guy and threw him into the pile of zombies and said, "You are all zombies and you eat people!" Suddenly, they all remembered they were zombies and started eating the guy. I grabbed Nami's hand and took flight. We busted through the ceiling and flew away from the mall. I was trying to think of something to do when I woke up pretty abruptly. I think it may have been a false awakening, but I didn't catch it and lost lucidity.

Series Details
In the dream series, "The End of Days," the world is coming to a close. With the hype surrounding 2012 and the current economy, many of these doomsday dreams have been popping up. See the events of the apocalypse unfold with more entries to the series.



May 28, 2013
Lucid Dream 511: Call of Duty: Prehistoric Warfare
Series: The Mind of a Gamer, Episode 5
DILD
Technique: ADA



I was playing a Call of Duty online and at some point, the game became the dream. I was running around and straight waxing peeps (like usual). I was running around in a Jungle map that resembled a mix between Makin (CoD: World at War) and Jungle (CoD: Black Ops). I was one kill away from my T-Rex killstreak. Yup, you heard me right !!! I got the final kill I needed by jumping out of a window and shooting a guy while I was in mid-air. I pressed the button on my wristband (like BO2), and suddenly, thunderous/ground shaking stomps could be heard. A huge T-Rex entered the area and started hunting down the enemy. I remember being really excited as I followed it around and awtched it wreck havoc on the other team, as well as the map. It smashed buildings, stomped people, ate people, tail whipped people, and performed pouncing attacks that cracked the ground. I thought to myself, "What else would be a cool killstreak?" I had become lucid at this point without even realizing that I wasn't lucid the whole time .

My T-Rex had racked up a ridiculous amount of kills and +10 kept popping up in my vision every few seconds as the T-Rex rampaged on. I decided on what else would be a badass killstreak. I pushed the button on my wristband and yelled to a nearby teammate, "I just got my Raptors!!" He said, "You got the T-Rex AND Raptors! Jesus!" I heard the bushes around the map rustling and then a pack of Raptors jumped out of the bushes and tree. I decided to take a better view, so I took flight and hovered around the map. Before I knew it, I was in a spectator-like mode and wasn't actually flying anymore. I lost lucidity, but continued to watch the match play out like I was in theater mode. I now holding a controller and showing my cousin the game clip. He told me he had never saw anyone get Raptors and a T-Rex in the same match. I can't remember much else of the dream.

This dream is one of my all-time favorites! It would be fucking awesome if there was T-Rex and Raptor killstreak!!!!!

Series Details
With the dream series, "Mind of a Gamer," the gaming world and the dreaming world collide to produce a lucid paradise. Read as I take video game scenarios to the next level. Stay tuned for more entries to the series!

Dreams:

I was at what was supposed to be my aunts house. I looked ouside and saw the weirdest clouds. I went out on the deck to get a better look. The sky was swirling with clouds, like in some movie. I grabbed my camera and filmed a bit. Then I noticed cars of the road. (Now it looked more like I was at my grandparent's house). The wind had picked up the front of a truck as it rounded the corner below. It drove for a few second on just two tires. I pulled out my camera again. The next gust of wind picked up the next car completely. It carried it a few yards backwards, then set it back down. I was thrilled that I was getting this all on camera. I had never seen anything like this before. I could put this on Youtube. I filmed the next few vehicles also moved around by the wind.


Dream 2:

I was in a house. Someone had cooked a whole lot of bacon. It was in this huge pile.

The next thing I remember is that I found out that someone had set a T-Rex loose in the house. I then noticed that someone had laid out the bacon in a row throughout the entire house. I knew we were doomed because the T-Rex would follow the bacon trail and find everyone in the house and eat them along with the bacon. I was also a pissed off that the bacon was all on the floor and wasted.

3-16-09

Dream 1 (Lucid and DV member):


I was in this large building. I walked out to this one large level part and saw this huge pool. As I looked in the pool I thought I saw a killer whale. I wanted to take a picture of it so I went to get my camera. When I returned I saw a girl in the huge pool room. The killer whale was out of the water. She was having it do tricks like roller and she was then rubbing it and it was making happy noises. I talked to the girl and she told me how to get it to do the tricks. I had it roll over and it roller all the way across the room. I ran after it and rubbed its "chin". It felt so incredibly smooth. As I rubbed it, the killer whale made deep happy moans. It was really cool.

Then I went out of that room I was a group of people. One of the people had a T Rex with him. I felt angry. I knew that the guy who owned him probably thought it was very safe. But I also had heard enough stories about wild aminals being kept as pets attacking people.

Suddenly I felt very nervous. I decided to run into the next room which was the center of the building and very open. I was afraid that the T Rex was chasing me. I came to a dead end on a balcony overlooking the huge open center of the building.

At that point I suddenly realized that I knew how to fly (I don't think I realized that I was lucid yet--just that I had my lucid abilities). I jumped up on the rail and flew to the center of the building. At the top were all these cords. i grabbed onto one and found that it was stretchy. I swung on it and started flipping around and doing tricks and making up a sort of dance.

I then decided to fly outside. I flew down and ended up out on the courtyard. I then saw DV member Ame sitting at a table with several other people that I knew were also DV members. I listenend to their conversation. It seemed that Ame had come up with an idea a having a contest to see who could dance the best in their dreams. There was another girl who wanted to criticise everything that Ame came up with. I could see that the conversation was not going well.

I then spoke up and told of how I had just been "dancing" on the cords in the building. And how that could count as "dancing in dreams"

At that point I was fully aware that I was dreaming. I then remembered that I really needed to eat some ham to get credit of the "Green eggs and Ham" Task that I had started in my last LD.

I was now in an alley with my old best friend Marie. I saw a doorway up on the second floor I grabbed her hand and told her that we were going to fly up to the door. She was easy to lift. We flew in the door.

I saw several people I decided that instead of looking for Ham (like I did in the last dream and had no luck with) that I would ask someone to bring me some. I called out that I needed some ham, and a guy brought me a bite-sized hunk. It was normal colored. I suddenly wasn't sure if the ham needed to be green, or just the eggs. I decided to play it safe and make this ham green. I focused on it until it slowedly turned first white, then green.

I put the piece of ham in my mouth. It tasted just like I remembered ham tasting like. The texture was just right and it had a salty taste. I swallowed it. I felt good that I had been able to get that done do easily.

At that point I was suddenly hit with a wonderful idea. Why stop with ham?? Why not eat something I really wanted to eat. Next me me was a Japanese girl. I asked her if she could bring me some chocolate. She left and came back with the tiniest thinest piece of chocolate. I put in on my tongue and let it melt. I could taste a little chocolate flavor.

I saw row of freezers along the wall. I asked the Japanese girl if anyone would care if I ate something out of the freezers. Then immediately I remembered that since this was my dream I could do what I wanted and no one would care.

I opened the freezer in front of me. It was full. I could see a slice of pie in from of me. It looked like it was made out of mint chocolate chip cream. I grabbed it and stuffed it in my mouth. In two bites I had it all in. It was cold, but not frozen hard. It didn't hurt my teeth by being too cold.

I then looked and saw a few ice cream sandwiches. I pulled one out and tore half the wrapper off. I ate the first half in one bite, then I sqeezed the wrapped and the other half just slid out into my mouth. The favor was wonderful. The temperature and texture were also perfect. I thanked my mind that it was all so enjoyable. After eating a few ice cream sandwiches, I saw some Twinkies. I unwrapped one and found that it was also cold but not frozen hard, but cool and slightly firm. I ate that in one bite and went to grab another one.

Then I started to lose the dream and everything faded.

Dream - Lucid

I was in what seemed to be high school choir again, on what seemed to be an island, though there were many other islands around too. It was covered in short, bright green grass, and some grey rocks. It was daytime, and the sky was clear and blue.

We were rehearsing for the variety show on this island. My choir teacher was showing us the choreography she wanted us to learn for the show; we were all grouped up, and she was in front of us. She did some jumps and dance moves, but she went over it all very quickly.

We then were left to practice on our own. We all gathered in a circle around the edges of the island, and we started to do the routine. There was then a full-sized T-Rex in the middle of the island, but it was one of the students; his part in the show was being a T-Rex. It scared me at first, but we all ran around his feet and repositioned; it was all just part of the show. He then turned into Godzilla, and was much more threatening that way. Again, it was part of the show. I feel like we ran through this sequence a few times. I found myself trying to go over the choreography in my head, remembering one move after the other.

I then figured out I was playing the part of a saber-toothed tiger, though, unlike T-Rex boy, I didn't transform, but I was merely acting like a cat, or, I guess how I would imagine a saber-toothed tiger would act. I was also supposed to be the T-Rex's girlfriend as the saber-toothed tiger. Alright then, I could do that. I got down on my hands and knees, and walked around. I went over to some edge away from everyone else, sat down, and meowed. I was trying to play the part well. I thought about myself acting, making facial expressions to match the mood of the show.

We then went back to the beginning of the show to rehearse some more. I now wasn't quite sure where I was supposed to be. The T-Rex guy said I needed to stick by him, but I got in the circle around the edges of the island again anyway. I had a feeling I had taken someone's space, though I didn't think we had assigned spaces yet. Oh whatever. I wondered if there were any solos in the piece of music we were doing.

I then remember being atop a ledge on the island, overlooking the circular part, with T-Rex guy. We walked around a bit, I remember us being in a small cave for a little while. He was telling me he liked being Godzilla better than the T-Rex. He started to remind me of my IWL pen pal, Gabriel.

I was then running back onto the circular part of the island with everyone else. I remember running over some light grey rock, and thinking about how exciting it was to be back in choir and performing.

Dream 1 and 2:

T-Rex dreams. Yes, my semi annual T-Rex dream, and I had it twice last night.

These dream seemed to last forever. In the first dream there was a T-Rex on the loose in this big building/house that I was in. I'm already forgetting the details, but it was quite stressful. I was with family and friends and trying to gather up supplies so we could escape. We were loading it into a big car that was inside a parking structure.

Part Two: This happened after I woke up from the first dream and then fell back to sleep. There was a T-Rex loose in the city. I was with some people and driving around. I thought I knew the area the T Rex was in and was driving as far away as I could from it. But then to my horror realizing that it was coming down the road right at us. Again, so many details are now lost, but it was a long and stressful dream.

Dream - Lucid

I was in a dark cave, I think, and was with a group of other people. There was also this woman and her grown son, who was mentally retarded. We had brought both of them down for some reason; they were not conscious, at least the son wasn't. The "camera" zoomed out and showed me, and I killed the woman with a hammer-type thing. A little blood splattered onto the "camera", but not much. Apparently, me and this group of people then removed the woman's lips, and set them on top of the son's own lips. It showed us laying the pair of lips down on top of his. It looked flawless, as if they were his own lips.

Then, we were watching some movie in the cave. It was like Jurassic Park, but with a weird twist. The non-dinosaur themed theme park where everyone was opened up to another dimension, one where dinosaurs still existed. It then looked like they were in a desert, and a T-Rex ran up and started to chase everyone. The graphics looked really bad, like it was an old movie; the T-Rex was moving way too fast, and it looked like he was a computer image superimposed onto the desert scene. The T-Rex then ran by this line of people, and ate the head off of one of them, flinging the body aside. Then, it was like the T-Rex was chasing us, the movie-goers. He was running towards the camera.

I remember seeing a group of people sitting behind me, taking notes on the movie. I believe I was also taking notes.

I know I dreamed more than this, but I slept really hard last night, and can't remember many more details than that. On the upside, I needed the sleep pretty badly; insomnia has been kicking my ass to the curb lately. I feel a lot better today than I have for awhile. Yay for sleep!

The dream started out with me and a bunch of my friends on some island (pretty sure it was Isla Sorna from Jurassic Park).

We were all armed with strange looking weapons. We walked through some tall grass and found a dead dinosaur. We heard a deep growl, and then a fucking Tyrannosaurus Rex lifts his head up. It was very similar to how they found the t-rex in Jurassic Park 3.

It looked somewhat like this:


The T-rex that I saw was slightly larger, and darker in color. It also looked more angry and pissed off than curious as to why we were there. The area that we saw it was also slightly different, and we were to the right of it.

He didn't look very happy. None of us knew how to use our weapons (because they weren't like ordinary guns or anything I've seen before). The T-rex got up and started roaring and walking towards us (I guess it was his territory, the area smelled like piss), so we were all scared as hell. I look down at my hands and suddenly I'm holding an X-Box controller. For some reason, I hit the pause button and the t-rex stopped, and everything turned green (like everything was night vision). I scrolled down to the last option on the pause menu, and I couldn't read what it said, but I knew that the last option was usually "quit". So I pressed it.

Next thing I know, I'm in my house. More specifically my laundry room. I had no recollection of the Tyrannosaurus. I was just upset because I couldn't find my clothes. I looked in the dirty clothes basket and noticed that all of the clothes that I owned were in there, wet, and stained red. I found a tooth the size and basic shape of a banana in there, similar to that of a t-rex.

Crazy dream, pretty scary, but I wouldn't consider it a nightmare.

I'm really behind on my dreams again. So I'll share a couple from last night. My memory isn't the best, but oh well.

Dream 1:

I was with a groupl of people and we were staying (living?) in this big place that was a bit like an indoor stadium. What made this so unique is that there was a T-rex that also lived in there (oh yes, another t-rex dream. Unfortunately I haven't been posting my other recent t-rex dreams).

I feel like I spent that entire dream trying to get from one side of the stadium to the other without attracting the t-rex. I know at one point I was hiding in this cave-like place while the t-rex paced around the entrance, so I wasn't doing a terrible good job at avoiding it.

Anyway...while I'm at it:

Other recent T-rex dreams:

I was at my friend Neisha's house. She had invited me over for a sleep over. The room we were going to sleep in was really big, like a gym with a water fall in the middle of the room. It would have been a great place for a sleep over except for one liitle problem. There was a t-rex that also lived in that room. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to relax or sleep well with that thing in there.


And this:

I was in the backyard of my old LA house. I was happy to be back and was enjoying the backyard. But then I noticed there was also a t-rex in the backyard. I felt a little upset. Why did we have a t-rex back here? How was I supposed to enjoy my yard if I always had to worry about being eaten. This sucked. I climbed on the roof while I pondered what I should do.


Back to last night's dreams:

There was this teenaged girl (Jessica S from down the street). I suddenly realized that I was her mother. I was confused at how I had gone so long without knowing this fact. I decided that I needed to go talk to her and try to start a relationship with her even though it all felt terribly awkward.


And from two nights ago:

I was flying. I was trying to accomplish something that I no longer remember. But I remember the feeling of flying and trying to go faster. Also impressing people with my great flying ability.

were pulling up to the lake and I'm with my mom and yaya. now were eating deli chicken and relaxing on some blankets. there are people everywhere and my cousin chuck walks up to me. He asks if I wanna swim and I say sure. we don't head out to the dock we just walk in We get to where the water is about chest deep when some lake monster appears farther out.

I open my eyes and I'm laying on the blankets, I must have fallen asleep. I get up and see chuck is out on the dock. I get up and walk out to him. I tell him about the little dream I had and then he hands me a towel. I start to dry my self off when I notice, if it was a dream then I wouldn't be wet. This is all a dream I realise. I look at chuck and all the people everywhere I ask chuck if he wants to fly and he has this look on his face like WTF. I then Make to look like I'm gonna dive into the river, but right before I hit the water I make myself fly I fly over the river across the small distance and under the bridge dividing the lake from the river. I fly back over the top of the bridge and chuck is staring at me like wow. I tell him it was all a dream and he smiles. I then start flying all over the park amazing all the DC's, SOme are scared while others are overjoyed, a couple don't even seem to care at all I notice.


I then wake up and my little brother and sister are in the kitchen waiting for the time to be right and the school bus to get there. I get up and grab my dogs leash so I can take her outside to use the bath room. I walk into the kitchen and I'm alone. I look at the clock and See the hours changing much to quick.

Now I wake up and I hear some little girl voices from down the hallway, and I look down the hall way. A pudgy little girl comes out, and I notice all my guitar equipment is scattered all over the kitchen floor. I get up and try to push her with my telekinesis, but I can't So this Is a dream I think to myself. I start to freak. "Who Invited you to my house what the hell this is my life you threw all over." 'No One Invited us' "Ugh get out of my house" suddenly another smaller younger girl comes 'whats going on sis' 'this guy says its his house' "you stay right there I'm calling the cops", I pick up the phone and then they start to laugh.

It was another dream I think to myself as I open my eyes back on the couch. Damn I can't believe I fell for that. I look up and see a clock that was never there in my moms living room.

I wake up again but I know better and Keep my Lucidity, and I realise know would be the perfect time to do the advanced task of the month, so I close my eyes and try to will the world to send me where I need to next time I 'wake up'

I feel like I'm waking up again and when I open my eyes I did it. I'm back at my grandmas house where I grew up. I get off my bed and theres the shelves that contain all my childhood Dinosaur toys. I look for my favourite, the T-Rex, I find it really quick. I stare at it and try to bring it to life size my head kinda hurts but it is growing. I then panic and pick it up and throw it out the window. It grows and grows till it towers over the pine tree outside. It looks at me and then storms off into the woods destroying everything in its path. I think to myself that that was very uneventful compared to what I thought would happen, I also wonder to myself if it would even count. Suddenly my dad starts to pull in the driveway and I don't want to even see a DC version of him so I crawl into the window. I look back and my dog is staring expectantly at me. I call her onto the bed then out the window, She jumps right through and when I turn my head to look at her she is decked out in some metal armour with a couple of laser guns mounted to the sides, and jetpack boosters on her legs. I decide to send her to go get the T-Rex I brought to life while I go have fun with the cute blond that I know lives next door.

I am in a city I do not recognize. I live there and I am going to high school still, but I do not have a family and I live in a communal bording house for kids and young adults with no place else to go. I am at school and the teacher gives us a big assignment to do were we have to submit a thesis on something (but I cannot remember what now) but a lot of the young teens in my class are lazy and uninterested and do not bother to do the work. One of the stipulations of the assignment is that it must be hand written on lined paper, and not printed out from a computer.

It takes me only one night to get my assignment done but as the due date approatches I notice that my only friends in my school has barely done hers at all and I offer to help her with it. The little bit she has done is on the computer and I start ccopying what she has written on lined paper until I get to were her assignment ends and I give it back to her. I tell her I cannot finish writing it out until she finishes her assignment. My friend becomes angry and bullies me to finish the assignment for her and eventually I cave in and agree because she is my only friend and I do not want to lose her, because then I would be truly alone.

I am walking outside the next day. It is saturday and there is no school. I am feeling angry and resentful about always doing my work on time and the teacher's not caring since they don't care that the other students barely ever do their work. I pass a resturant that is in a large shopping plaza and on the inside are all my fellow classmates and my teachers and they are all eating great food. There is slices of roast beef covered in melted cheese; racks of juicy ribs; all kinds of potato side dishes, like mashed, boiled and spiced, and scalloped; and all sorts of vegetables and desserts.

I assume this is a school thing that I didn't know about but when I go into the resturant I am told that they are really sorry but there is no food left because they didn't know they would need an extra place for me. I went over to my teacher and asked why I wasn't told about this and why there was no food for me, and my teacher responded that they had asked my one friend to tell me and it wasn't their fault if she had neglected to do so. I do not create a scene even though on the inside I feel like exploding. I quietly and calmly walk back to the bording house, take my friends assignment that I was doing for her, and rip it up and throw the peices all over her room.

I look in the fridge and there is nothing I can make a meal with, just a carton of milk and some apples. I head back to he shopping center to my food for myself because I have a little bit of money. People I pass on the street say that some dinosaurs have escaped from the zoo and are headed our way, but even though I know dinosaurs are real in my dream world, I don't care because I am too miserable.

In the grocery store my goal is to buy ground beef for tacos, because tacos are my favourite food and I think it will cheer me up a little, but I am tempted to buy many other things that I can just barely afford, including cartons of cigarettes, which are laying in a basket near the check out line and are on sale. I am so tempted my some things that I start contemplating trying to steal things, but I know it is wrong and before my thoughts become actions I can hear people screaming outside. When I look out the window I can see a huge Tyrannasaurus Rex stomping around the parking lot and attacking cars and eating people. I leave the grocery store and head into the shopping mall without buying anything at all because people are panicking and running into the grocery store to get away from the dinosaur and it is complete chaos.

People in the mall are also panicking, which others are calmly walking around. I am not scared for some reason, though I feel very tired and slightly annoyed. Vendors in stores start putting up hand written sale signs on a lot of their goods, hoping people will buy items on sale in their panic. I think this is stupid and keep walking through the mall.

I find a little girl crying in the center of the plaza and she says she can't find her mother. I ask where she last saw her mother and the little girl responds that her mother went to get some lunch and told her daughter to stay put. I ask the little girl if she knows what food stall in the food court her mother went to and the little girl says she does know which one and what it looks like, but does not know how to get there. I offer to take her and we push past panicking people who are flooding into the mall trying to escape the rampaging T-Rex but I do not tell the little girl what is going on outside. She is more interested in finding her mother anyway.

We pass many interesting stores, including a shoe store with high heel boots made in Africa, an all natural scented candle store, and an interactive information booth on nature and geography around the world. The little girl and I find the food court and she points out the fast food place her mother went to. It is an Italian food place but the sign says Siesta Teisto, or something like that, which sounds Spanish to me. The little girl thanks me and runs into the store and when I go inside to see if she has found her mother, absolutely no one is there, not even the cooks or cashiers.

I head back to towards the main plaza in the mall but can get there because there are so many people who have come from outside seeking shelter. I climb some stairs up to the second floor that leads to a fancy resturant or gym just as the T-Rex smashes through a ground floor window and starts rampaging through the mall. Lots of people are either crushed to death in the stampeed or are eaten, though I cannot remember much more from this dream.