• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. Monday, April 8

      by , 04-10-2019 at 07:10 AM
      I am in what I think is a smaller climbing gym inside a shopping mall. I am going to climb, and I feel good, like I’ve been back in it or something. I notice one other guy, sort of larger guy with longer back hair. I think his shirt is off. I think his presence makes me self conscious. I am climbing but it is also like I am clocked in as security at JCPenney. I start moving quite a few shoe boxes that turn out to be empty. I can’t believe that many would be stolen. I have my radio on, and I’m getting called to do something. Entering the shopping mall, I am running. I clear a few longer steps quickly and then slow down self consciously. I think I am following the middle school boys (what stole watches and socks the other night). I enter another clothes store and am walking around inside when I notice their security or associate following someone. He simply asks the person if he is going to buy something. At this point, I think I’ve lost who I was following or they are no longer an issue. Now, I am in the shopping mall, probably in a little communal area, with some unfamiliar? others. They are asking me if I got dirty or something like that. I look at the back of the pant leg on my Levi’s (that looks like mine but a little darker and newer) and there is a little bit of caked on mud. I think I’ve just washed them though, as the rest of them look clean. I glance up and notice that everyone in my view is wearing blue jeans of the same darker blue jean blue. Now, I am in some dim amphitheater-like room. There are large steps of stone and pebble that descend and end at a very small pool. I am running down these steps as well (possibly in slow motion?) At the end, I jump into the circular pool. While in midair, I had humorously asked if there were rocks at the bottom of the pool (concerned about my landing and impact). This pool could probably only fit four people comfortably, and it is between warm and lukewarm. There is a baby (in a diaper, I think)and one other in this pool. Now, I am driving. It looks like S. Virginia under the overpass, right before McCarran. I see multiple people in the street in front of me. They’re walking this way. Slightly annoyed, I’m going to change lanes to go around them to the right. Before I can, they sort of separate to give me room to get through. I notice that they have brooms or mops, so I slow to a stop by them and crack my window. The guy wants to wash my car. I say no and gesture by waving my hand in front of my neck. When I start to drive away, I see the rest of the group on the side of the road to the right. They look very sketchy, like prison-hardened. This impression is based on their face, neck, hand, and everywhere else tattoos, clothing, and also the look in their eyes. I feel bad for saying no because I don’t want them to feel bad or like I’m judging them. As I am driving off, I look at my hood and see that it is a little dusty but not really dirty. I am now on a more rural/residential road. There is snow, only on the houses and yards and not on the road. The area seems somewhat lower income; the houses are smaller and just slightly dilapidated, but nice enough. They are spaced nicely apart. It is sort of like I don’t really know where I am but do know where I’m going (or vice versa?). I now pull into the driveway of a house. This house is definitely unfamiliar, but I am walking up to its door and I have pliers or some sort of tool in my hand. There was a walkway in front of the house, to the right of the garage, leading to the front door. I don’t know what lives here, but I am going to go in. I think I am about to use the pliers when I hear someone coming to open the door. I throw the pliers to the side lawn as the door is being opened. The door opens, revealing an old woman. I am hoping she doesn’t notice the pliers lying on the grass. I am going inside with her now, and it is like she knows me. Behind the door she let me through is a foyer/entryway type area that seems to be outside but covered. It sort of then blends into the inside. She starts talking to me, and I think she thinks I’m her grandkid. I’d feel bad if that was the circumstance, but it almost feels like I am her grandkid. There is an old man in here, sitting at a computer. He says hi to me like he knows me too. We talk a bit, and I then realize it is Opa. I notice his eyes, and I notice his voice is the same. He is wearing blue sweatpants and has his feet up on the swivel chair. His mannerisms are exactly the same. I am about to leave now, as I think there’s something I have to do (write down this dream?), when Granny?/Reta shows up. Now I am kind of stuck here. We all talk for a bit until I can sneak outside. I walk outside to my car blocked into the driveway and Makayla just getting here. I notice Dad’s truck. The right side of the driveway is a bit more open, but I don’t think I could get out. Jon shows up now, wearing a sun hat, shorts, and a button up short sleeve. We’re all inside, a gathering of everyone, and I think I’ll be here a while.
    2. The 50-mile-high slide, and lucidity at a military compound

      by , 01-02-2014 at 05:36 PM (Mouka's Mind Palace)
      (undated older dreams 2)

      I was working at Wal-mart as a cashier. My lines were getting super long and I was having a serious allergy problem, but because we were so busy I couldn't go to the restroom to blow my nose. It was super uncomfortable and I couldn't breathe, and I just knew there was probably mucus or something dripping out of my nose so I dropped everything and ran into the break room. My supervisor ran after me all angry and stuff because I left my post. As I opened the door to leave the break room, I walked out into a new place. It was outdoors in a field, and before me was a massive slide that stretched all the way up into outer space. Both sides of the slide were slide, so there was no ladder to climb up it. I sat on the bottom of the slide closest to me and somehow slid upwards towards the top, really fast at first but it slowed down as I got to the very top. I sat there looking down the slide on the other side and I was scared. The earth was far below and it was so high up I could see the curvature of the planet, it reminded me of the leap that Red Bull guy took. The more I looked down, the more I didn't want to go, but then I started thinking about courage. I had a vision of the archangel Michael and told myself that I should have the kind of courage he has, so I took a deep breath and pushed myself over the edge.

      A lucid dream that started with me wandering around a house. I saw that the Misadventures of Flapjack was playing on TV but I noticed that there were random white numbers that kept appearing on the screen over the show. I realized it wasn't part of the show and that made me lucid for some reason, so I attempted the palm reality check. When I tried to push my finger through my palm it actually didn't go through, instead it bent my hand. I then tried to breathe while holding my nose, which worked, though my nose was apparently still feeling clogged from the last dream or something. I was still anchored to reality and had a hard time moving, since my reality checks weren't working all that well it took my mind a bit of time to get fully lucid. Then I rubbed my hands together in an attempt to stabilize myself, and I saw that one of my hands was higher than the other, and even though they were rubbing together, they weren't physically touching. That's when I finally broke free and could hover around. I flew down the hallway and into a den area and tried a trick I read about to summon Afiel by calling out over my shoulder "Hey Afiel, can you come over here and help me with this?" but there was no response. Instead, I rounded a corner and an old lady in a blue silk robe with a hood walked up to me with a creepy look on her face and screamed "You shall not see him!" I got really annoyed at that point and decided that if I couldn't summon someone to me, then I would just go to them. I spun around in a circle and shouted "Take me to where Afiel is!" and when I stopped spinning I was in a foggy forest but the forest was still spinning when I stopped. As the forest slowed down around me, it became lighter and the fog disappeared, and other details began to pop up. I was standing in an overgrown grassy field, with rocks and dozens of bird skeletons laying around on the ground. Behind me was the forest, and through the trees I saw a flash of yellow that made me think of Afiel because it reminded me of his eyes. In front of me on the other side was a guarded military compound, with an electric barbed fence and two watchtowers. In one of the towers I caught a glimpse of a man running past a window wearing fatigues, so I ran and hid behind one of the rocks so they couldn't see me. I wondered whether Afiel was in the compound or back in the forest where the yellow flash was. I had a feeling about the yellow so I spread my wings and flew straight at it as fast as I could, but it caused me to wake up.
      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    3. A terrifying book, and working at a grocery store

      by , 09-30-2013 at 10:04 PM (Mouka's Mind Palace)
      Cory and I were shopping in the clothes section of a store, when I saw this weird monster hovering to and fro between the clothes racks. It made me think of Lovecraftian monsters, because it had lots of tentacles and a head that looked sort of like an aquatic triceratops. Cory didn't notice it wandering around, so I followed behind it to try to figure out what it was doing here. As it moved around, it dropped a book, and after a while it vanished. I picked up the book, but I couldn't get it to open. The front was covered in a grainy wood texture and it looked very old, and when I showed it to a nearby shopper, he screamed and spoiled his pants. It kinda freaked me out but at the same time was a little funny, that whenever I showed the book to someone, they would all get completely terrified and soil their pants. I figured the book had some kind of monstrous aura but it did not affect me because I was the one holding it. I hid the book in my bag so nobody else would see it and freak out, and then Cory and I left the store and went to a gas station to get some sodas. We were going on a trip that involved a train, so we wanted to bring some drinks with us. We arrived at the train station just in time to board and took a seat near the back. I put my bag with the creepy book in it under my seat and opened my soda, but when I took a drink of it, it was very gross and had a slimy consistency so I threw it out. After the train started moving, Cory fell asleep, as did many of the passengers, but there were still a few of us awake when the train took a very sharp curve and caused the terror book to fall out of my bag and slide across the floor. I tried to grab it but it slid out of my reach. As it slid forward, I could hear random people screaming.

      I had a job as a cashier at a high-end grocery store and, even though it wasn't my first day on the job, I was still pretty new. I got behind the register and two old ladies immediately walked to my line. They didn't have a lot of groceries, just a few cuts of meat and some paper towels, but for some reason my register was acting up and wouldn't let me input my employee number and password. I kept fiddling with the screen, trying to get to the log-in screen, but it was taking forever. Fortunately, the ladies were nice and said they actually forgot something they needed so they left their groceries on the belt and went back into the aisles. I finally got it working, but the ladies were still gone, and an old Asian man came through the line and waited, not sure if he should go forward or wait for whoever the meat and towels belonged to. I ushered him forward and checked him out around the ladies' groceries, and soon they came back. We hit another road block when I tried to scan their paper towels but couldn't find a bar code on them. They told me the towels were 37 cents each, which seemed pretty low, but I'd already made them wait so I just took their word for it. After I finished with them, I went on my lunch break, so I walked over to the deli/butcher area to get a sandwich. I was friends with the girl behind the deli counter, she had two brown ponytails on the sides of her head and one of those little hats butchers always wear. When I got there, she got excited and pointed to a spot in the meat display case near the bottom. There was a cute black and white kitten curled up and sleeping on an empty spot on the case. I suggested she make a sign saying "Cat 3.99/lb" and put it next to the sleeping kitten, and she laughed and agreed but before she could the kitten woke up and walked away. I ordered a sandwich made with bratwurst, and as I started towards the break room I saw Cory walking up to the deli. I ran up behind him and stuck the bratwurst sandwich in his face, but instead of jumping scared he just took a bite of it. I asked him what he was doing here, and he said "I need to buy some spices for dinner tonight." He wheeled a cart up to the deli and started ordering bags of the spices on display on the wall shelves. He piled bags of expensive high-end spices and dried herbs into the cart until it was full, and I was concerned we didn't have the money to buy a cart full of spices. He seemed okay with it though.

      Something involving Monster High or Bratz dolls. There were three sets of three dolls each, and each set had the same three dolls only they were a different size. There was a set of small ones the size of regular action figures, a set of normal sized ones, and then a set of very tall ones about the size of a 60cm BJD. I think I gave them to somebody as a gift?
    4. More lucidity with Afiel, rainbow butterflies, and the trash man

      by , 09-27-2013 at 06:03 PM (Mouka's Mind Palace)
      (This is from September 26, yesterday.)

      I awoke into a lucid dream, however I didn't perform any reality checks, I just knew immediately I was lucid. I looked around and saw I was in some kind of run-down building in a room on the second floor. It was nighttime. I walked out onto the balcony, which had an old wooden staircase leading down to the sidewalk, and saw a man standing under a street light. He looked suspiciously like Karr, but had black hair and giant black holes where his eyes would've been, so I decided to avoid him because I didn't feel like dealing with creepy stuff. I jumped off the top of the balcony and glided down to the street, facing away from the creepy guy, and remembered a few new tricks I'd read about for summoning people in dreams. I attempted to summon Afiel by calling behind me "Hey Afiel, can you help me with this?" like he was already there, however it didn't work, and instead I heard Karr's voice say "I'm not Afiel!" That's when I realized the creepy eyeless guy WAS Karr, so I spun around to confront him but he was gone. After a few more calling attempts, I gave up for the moment and went out to enjoy the dream. For a while, I just flew around the night sky... more like glided, really, because I couldn't keep myself up. I kept slowly gliding back down to the ground, and had to push myself off the ground with my hands to get back up. I wound up at some kind of horse race and took the opportunity to ride a horse, which was super fun. I even won the race and had my name engraved onto a high score board on a wall by the track. I wandered away and into a nearby building, another rundown place made of rotting wood, and saw my mom sitting on a couch next to a bunch of plants. She said hi, but then just sat there like a statue and wouldn't respond to anything, so I ignored her and attempted summoning again. I tried another trick where I walked up to a random closed door and said "Hey, this is the door Afiel is behind!" and then open it expecting him to be there. The first few times it didn't work, but I finally opened a door and there he was, standing there looking confused. He walked around the building, looking at random things, and then we decided to head outside. On the way out, we passed by statue-mom sitting on the couch and her plant collection, and Afiel was immediately sidetracked and went to go look at all the plants, because he's a total geek about that kind of thing. He told me to come over and look at one of them, and when I got closer I noticed the collections of seeds on the plant weren't actually seeds at all, but hundreds of tiny bugs. I thought it was gross and backed away, but he was all excited and kept watching them. When we left the building, it was daylight out, and he suggested we fly to a particular place, but I can't remember where it was he said. I think it was some kind of religious place. He spread his wings and took off, and I followed after him but I had trouble staying up. My body kept doing the gliding thing, and kept wanting to drift back down to the ground, but I didn't want to lose him so I did these awkward jump-glides after him. Soon we were in the wilderness in a big grassy field that was fall-colored. In the background were mountains, and hills covered in colorful trees, and the sky was clear and blue. I saw Afiel pretty far ahead, so I landed and did the lucidity shout to gain more control. It worked in that it made the scenery super vivid, and I forgot about him for a moment and sat there in the grass enjoying my surroundings. I wondered about the "ACME lucidity pills" I kept hearing about online, so I reached into my pocket for them but felt nothing. There was nothing in my other pocket either, but then I saw a large beige bottle on the ground next to me. I picked it up and took the pills inside it, and suddenly everything came into laser focus and I felt more in control. I flew up, now able to fly without gliding, over some telephone cables and up over the mountains, but I could no longer see Afiel. As I kept flying, I came upon an old Mayan temple, so I landed on the steps and walked up to the top to find a door. Behind the door was a pretty Japanese water garden, with lots of people and animals but no Afiel. On the wall was a laminated piece of paper with rules about the water garden and I remember being surprised about how clear the words were, since usually words in my dreams are blurry. I walked out onto the water Jesus-style, among all the lily pads and fishes, and saw weird little mice and cats under the water attacking each other. I reached down into the water to pull out a mouse that was about to be killed by a cat, but I noticed the mouse had worms for eyes and for claws. I freaked out and dropped it, the cat grabbed it and bit it in half. The mouse was actually a robot and had a map inside him, and when I picked up and unrolled the map, I realized it was telling me where Afiel had gone but I woke up before I could make anything of it.

      A dream where I had to go retrieve postage stamps from dad's house, but I was scared of going inside because he'd want me to stay forever. I think I was able to get the stamps.

      A friend and I were walking down the sidewalks at an outdoor shopping center, and there were these shimmery rainbow butterflies that kept landing on my shoulder and following me around. Then we saw some pretty hummingbirds, and my friend could match their pace and keep up with them on her roller blades. I, however, could not, and just ran behind her and the hummingbirds awkwardly trying to keep up, dozens of butterflies flying after me. We stopped in front of an interesting restaurant and decided to eat there, but there was a wait, so we stood outside until it was our turn. The butterflies kept messing with me, and everyone around me marveled over how pretty they were. I think I remember seeing Dale from King of the Hill leave the restaurant and he made some comment about me being an alien. When we got inside, we were seating at separate tables, so my friend was at a table to the left of me and I sat with strangers, and there were TVs at the tables along with piles of DVDs. There was also a big plate of chicken nuggets in the middle of the table, and the waitresses would hand out bags of chips to anyone who raised their hands. I turned on the TV and there was a Disney movie playing, but a guy walked over and said I wasn't allowed to use the DVDs, only employees could. I told him I wasn't watching a DVD, and that the movie was just on cable, but he didn't believe me and turned off my TV and took the DVDs away. I also saw him to the same thing to my friend's table.

      There was a guy who worked inside a huge dumpster the size of a house. He was in charge of sorting trash into recyclable containers, and he worked 24 hours a day and never slept. The dumpster was also full of dangerous snakes that would always bite him. The news channels caught wind of his predicament and kept trying to interview him, but he would always hide from them. Soon, other people were offering to work at the dumpster part-time to take some of the burden off of him, but many of the new workers were bit by the snakes and had to be taken to the hospital. I applied because I had been dating a girl who'd broken up with me because she said I wasn't independent enough, and became a part-time worker in the big dumpster thinking it would make me more self-reliant. I would walk across wooden floors covered in snakes, but they wouldn't bite me and I wasn't scared of them. Instead, I'd pick them up in handfuls and toss them off the walkways. As I sorted trash, I noticed that someone had thrown away a perfectly good TV and the 24 hour guy had taken it and put it in a weird makeshift break room. However, the TV was covered in orange slime and was gross, so I cleaned it up for him and he was super happy for it.
    5. Lucid dreaming with Rina, delicious candy, and a job at Walmart

      by , 09-21-2013 at 03:03 PM (Mouka's Mind Palace)
      (This is from September 9.)

      I woke up into a dream, but I was in my old bedroom at the house we had in Arab when I was a kid. Nothing was really happening except I was sitting on the bed, so I had time to ponder over my situation. I realized I didn't live here anymore and that I must be dreaming, so I attempted the palm reality check, and sure enough my finger went right through my hand. I flew up into the air and hovered around the room a few times to gauge how much control I had. Then I remembered I wanted to practice calling Afiel into my lucid dreams, and I got excited because normally when I LD I get caught up in the moment and totally forget and Afiel and my's little experiment. So I call his name and attempt to visualize him, but nothing happens. I close my eyes and try to will him there, but still nothing. So I left the room and went to the door leading outside next to the pool table, constantly looking behind me hoping he would randomly show up there. Thinking I'd have a better shot at it if I were outdoors in a large open area, I opened the door and was just about to head outside when I saw a big bear wandering around right outside the door! I totally freaked out and suddenly I heard a vicious barking behind me, and next to the pool table was a rabid Rottweiler dog, so I slid in between the outer door and the screen door to keep them both away from me and tried my hardest to will them away. Unfortunately the bear had freaked me out enough that I lost control of my surroundings so I was stuck. Suddenly I couldn't hear the bear anymore, so I looked outside and saw the bear had turned to stone, and Rina was standing there looking all smug and laughing at me for being afraid. He pushed past me and walked into the house, the rabid dog now gone, and heads to the kitchen. At this point I am completely lost, because I have no idea how I'd summoned up Rina of all people when I was attempting Afiel. So I followed him into the kitchen and he tells me since he's my guest that I should pour him a glass of water. I tell him "Are you kidding me? I'm not wasting a lucid dream pouring you a glass of water, you prima donna." and he got all huffy and poured himself some water. Then I heard my phone ringing from outside the dream, and the whole scene broke apart because apparently my brain thinks telemarketers are more important than bugging the crap out of Rina.

      I was visiting some spoiled rich kid's home and I noticed my old DDR pad in the closet. It's for the PS2 and they said I couldn't have it back because I only have an XBox 360 and the pad wouldn't be compatible. The kid is talking about all the games he owns and heads downstairs into a basement area. When I looked down there, I saw the kid and two girls laying down on a futon playing console games.

      Cory and I had a routine where we would visit this small locally-owned candy store each time we went on a trip to that area of the country, which was often. The owner of the store was the lady who owns the food truck near our apartment. She'd always recognize us when we came into the store, and I remember once telling her my zip code and she got all excited and said her zip code started with the same two numbers as mine, which I thought was a strange thing to get excited about. We bought a bunch of interesting looking chocolates and I also got a red and white striped peppermint that was shaped like a shoe. The owner said the shoe had to be eaten a certain way so the middle doesn't melt and become raw. We noticed that they also sold cherries, and rights to pick as many cherries as you wanted from the trees outside. As we left, I saw rows of newly planted cherry trees growing next to the road. After we got home from the trip, I followed Cory from the parking lot and through a crowd of people all sitting on picnic tables under a sheltered patio. One of the people mentioned the ASVAB so I went over curiously to help him study, but my social anxiety kicked in and I just stood there awkwardly not saying anything.

      I went into Walmart and decided to work there. Apparently I thought since I used to work there when I was younger, I was allowed to just jump behind a register and start working whenever. But when I got behind the register, I noticed they looked different and had touch screens and stuff, so I got nervous. I couldn't figure out how to start, so the bagger told me I had to scan my badge to start every transaction. I annoyed lots of customers because I took so long to figure it out. One of the other cashiers took pity on me and took over my register and I opened a new line. An old guy with lots of TVs and inflatable pool toys came through and I had to lift each heavy TV to scan it and deflate the pool toys, but then I accidentally dropped a box and freaked out thinking it was a TV I'd broken, but it turned out to be a box of Capri-Sun drinks. After a while, I was called to the back and confronted by the manager asking why I was there since I left years ago. I lied and told her that I was still employed there, I was just working at another store in a place called Alphrettia, Georgia. She didn't believe me and looked up the store there on her computer, but I was desperate not to get yelled at so I sprinted off through the garden center and into the parking lot. As I ran, I passed Will Smith who was sitting in a car, and I waved at him and he waved back. I remember thinking he must drive around a lot because I see him in that car almost everywhere. Then I jumped into my car where Cory was waiting. After I pulled out, I realized my brakes weren't working, so I drift along in the parking lot trying to avoid small children and stuff. The car finally came to a halt when it lightly hit the bumper of a big white truck, and a lady got out and immediately recognized us because she's was regular at Cory's store. She said we were lucky she's such a nice person and said she'll forget that it ever happened.
    6. Crying for the Kids

      by , 01-07-2013 at 12:21 AM
      I was in a big lounge that looked a lot like a library I once went to a couple years ago. It was dark this night but it felt a little earlier than that because there was still some children awake at that time.

      I was a volunteer at this place and my job was to take care of these kids and made sure they were reading their books. I probably had this dream because my father wants me to join some volunteering work with some other people at a local place. It's not something I'm looking forward to in this horrible city!

      A few parents were here as well. There was a little girl who was supposed to read a paragraph from the book. As she started reading though, it felt like I needed to cry because these kids are growing up too fast.

      I also don't have a kid.
    7. block of stars; trimming trees

      by , 01-07-2012 at 01:57 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      It was daytime. I was with my mom, out in the middle of the street in what looked like a suburban block of houses. The houses were about average sized, or maybe even smaller than average. But this was apparently one of the blocks (in Hollywood?) famous for the movie stars who resided here.

      A male celebrity had just moved in here. There were a whole bunch of people, all gathered on the sidewalk around the man's house -- which was kind of small. The people were all taking pictures of the house. I think they expected the man to come out of the house soon.

      But I knew that the houses on both sides of the man were empty. To the right of the man's house, there may actually have been two empty houses.

      I knew that a lot of movie stars were out of employment, and that many had had to give up their houses. This neighborhood was becoming desolate. I even wondered why the people in front of the man's house had come here, if all they really had to photograph today was this one man's house.

      I started thinking that if these houses were so small, and if the neighborhood was so empty, perhaps the house prices were a lot lower. I thought that maybe if I got a job here, even if it wasn't a good job, I could afford the rent on one of these houses.

      I walked down toward one of the houses on the right of the man's house. I must have been trying to see if I could get into the house. I then walked up to one of the houses on the left. I think I actually tried the doorknob on that house.

      But my mom -- I think -- got my attention. I think I was trying, in front of my mom, not to look like I was thinking of moving into one of these places. My mom called me across the street, to a house we had been here to visit in the first place.

      I crossed the street and walked into the house. As I did, the sky may have been getting really grey. I walked into the house, possibly with my mom.

      The house was now my mom's house. I had come into the house with one of my friends. I was in the living room, by myself. My friend and my mom may have been in the dining room or the kitchen, which was separated from the living room by a dividing wall.

      The living room was dim, unlit, only lit with the light coming from the dining room or kitchen. The living room may also have been really empty.

      But there was an entertainment center on the wall to my right. And on that entertainment center there may have been a small pile of mail. I think I took two pieces of mail and hid them under my shirt.

      I could hear my mom and my friend talking. At some point I went into the kitchen while my mom and my friend. I thought I'd join the conversation. But they'd left without my seeing them. They were now either in the living room, or standing up in a stairwell up to the second floor. The stairwell was near the entertainment center.

      The dining area was kind of L-shaped. The "base" of the L had a dining table. The "side" of the L had a sofa and a kind of long coffee table. The L-shape surrounded the kitchen, which was walled off, I think, from my view.

      As I sat on the couch, I could hear my mom and my friend talking. They were actually talking about what a lazy person I was. I sat, curled up on the couch, kind of feeling terrible about myself.

      But, for some reason, I thought that my mom would be really impressed by this magic trick I had to show her. I pulled the two pieces of mail out from under my shirt. One envelope was white. The other was black. I thought my trick of the "magically appearing" mail would be pretty cool.

      But then I realized, almost as if my friend were telling me this in my head, that my mom would be far from impressed if I pulled her stolen mail out from under my shirt. I was here -- we were both here -- to prove that we were good enough for something or other.

      I sat the two pieces of mail on the coffee table, hoping that my mom wouldn't miss them on the entertainment center and would just think she'd sat them on the coffee table. I'd have sat them back on the entertainment center, except that my mom was somewhere near it right then.

      Dream #2

      It was night. I was standing out in front of a house in a suburban neighborhood. The front yards for these houses were huge, even though the houses themselves were of about average size or smaller.

      My mom and I had just arrived, and were walking out of a pickup truck. The house we'd arrived at was set weird, like the front door was on the "right" side of the house, instead of on the "front" side, which would have faced the street. The porch light for the house was on, lighting up a really good portion of the yard with raspy, white, incandescent light.

      My mom was getting me set up on the project of trimming a tree or shrub that was in "front" of the house (the side facing the street). She gave me some kind of instructions, and told me why it would be difficult for me to do this.

      But before we got to work trimming the tree, my mom built -- almost instantaneously, and all by herself -- a plaster-like dome coming off of the "front-right" corner of the house. She encased us in it as she built it.

      It was now built. My mom led me around a kind of dividing wall in the structure. We went through a doorway and were back in the yard. Somehow this dome separated us from the truck. My mom told me something like once I started my job, I couldn't go back, or once I started my job I couldn't go back until I'd finished the job.

      I must have grabbed a pair of clippers and got to work clipping the tree. The tree was possibly a weeping cherry. It had drooping, kind of maroon-colored branches. Berries seemed to be growing off of it, more like hawthorn-berries than cherries. They were bright and red.



      Hawthorn berries



      Weeping cherry

      But for some reason, I got distracted from this work and began to fly in the front yard. My flying was controlled by my arms, mostly by the movement of my hands. So if I lifted my hands (clenched in fists) up to my shoulders, I'd lift from the ground. If I stretched my arms way over my head, I'd fly really high. If I shifted my hands to the left or right, I'd move that way as well.

      But at some point, I saw my great-grandmother (who IWL passed away a little over two years ago) sitting up really high in something like an oak tree that had no limbs until the high-up limbs in which my grandma sat.

      I landed at the base of the tree and looked up to my grandma. My grandma said if I was ----- (something in reference to the cherry tree I'd been cutting), that my real concern should, then, be to trim the -----berry tree.

      My grandma pointed across the street, to another tree in the front yard with the cherry tree. This tree was a lot like the tree my grandma sat in. It had bark like a pin-oak tree. But it was really tall, and it didn't have any limbs until way up high on the tree. But I knew that the branches of this tree also bore bright red, hawthorn-like berries.

      I was now at the base of that tree. I may have started flying in the front yard again. But now I realized that my mom was no longer here. I may have remembered her saying that she was going to get some more tools, so she could help me trim the trees. But she hadn't come back. I decided to look for her.

      I went into the house. It now turned out that I wasn't looking for my mom because she had gone missing after looking for tools. I was now looking for her because she had just come back from getting food for the family from some fast food joint, and she had forgotten to tell me and give me my food.

      I saw the bags of fast food on a dining table on the right wall as I entered the house. I may also have seen some other person there, like a childhood version of my little sister. And I probably heard or saw a television blaring somewhere. Something about the atmosphere felt very frenetic.

      Just to the left of the table was a door, which I knew was the door to my mother's room. I just thought I'd poke my head in there and ask if it was okay for me to get my food before I grabbed into the bags of food.

      But when I opened the door, I saw some young Latino guy making out with some young woman. The guy seemed kind of upset. So I closed the door.

      My mindset totally changed. It was like my mom wasn't even around anymore. I was now in this guy's house. This guy had gotten the food. I was working on this guy's trees. And he was in his room, making out with this woman. I felt ashamed for having intruded.

      The man called to me from inside the room. I opened the door. The guy was still laying there, half-naked, on this woman, on a couch. He looked up toward me. He had a kind of chubby face and chubby arms. His hair was shaved pretty short. He wore black, Oakley-style sunglasses.

      I asked the guy about the food. He told me, sure, just grab my stuff and some fries out of the bag, don't worry about it. After I closed the door and was grabbing my food, I heard the man say to his giggling girlfriend, "Geez. He sure works hard in asking for his food. But he doesn't work hard at any of the work I give him."

      I felt bad about what the man had said. I think I felt so bad that I decided not to take any food after all.

      I walked around in a room off from the living room. This room also basically looked just like a living room. But the ceilings were really high. There were family pictures dotting the walls, all the way up to the ceiling.

      For some reason, I decided to start flying again. I think I had really good control over my flight now. I practiced going up and down and left and right a lot. But then I tried doing some flips. When I'd reach the ceiling, I'd flip or somersault really close to it.
    8. Black Snake Juice Moan

      by , 06-02-2011 at 12:09 PM
      I am starting my new job at a supermarket. Today is some kind of a special day where drinking is allowed. My job is to deliver alcohol to the people working at the registers. The alcohol for drinking is being kept at the check cash station in the front of the store. One of the cashiers wants me to bring them a drink that's a half a shot of maker's mark, half a shot of snake juice and then bud light. We name this drink "black snake juice moan". I wheel the alcohol cart over to them and make the drink in one of those tall silver mixing cups with the lid. Then I drink what's left.

      My supervisor, a heavyset black lady in a polyester pantsuit, comes over and decides that she's going to be mixing the drinks for the rest of the day. She makes me another black snake juice moan in a giant shot glass and tells me that it has the alcohol of about 2 drinks so I should take it slow. I wait till she walks away and drink in down in one swallow. I start to feel drunk and wake up.