memorable

Trying to fall asleep consciously. Begin attempt at 10:40 pm. After sometime of lying on threshold, roll over and check watch: 12:30 AM. RC and am awake. Surprised so much time has passed, but certain I did not lose consciousness. Lie back on back, just try to fall asleep. Falling sensation,vivid HI (can't remember it now, but I recognized it when I saw it), and then falling completely backward. "Land" in body. Warmth spreads over body. Body begins breathing rhythmically--fell asleep with hands on stomach, difficult to get deep breaths. I just let body do what it wants. Goes on for some time (30 minutes?). Undercurrent of thoughts, but I am able to easily observe them. Just observe thoughts while lying, and use breath as anchor.

Breathing begins to slow down. Continues to slow, warmth continues to spread through body until it is difficult to feel body. Can barely feel body now or hear breathing. I am just aware of my heart beat and some undercurrent thoughts.

Vision begins to brighten and expand, and outer awareness that is left very quickly dimming. I feel this is the approach of delta sleep. Heart rate increases until vision returns to black. I can hear my breathing again. I rest here observing thoughts and practicing mindfulness of breathing until my butt begins to hurt. Leg is also in weird position. I lie like this for some time, hoping to enter the "bright awareness" again. I finally move, and decide to try one last time. Am able to move body without fully returning to normal waking state. Pain is too much after a while. Roll over and check watch. It is 3:55 AM.

I am a student at a prep school. I am being bullied by the gym teacher (who looks like a psychotic mix between Dolph Lundgren and Josh Hartnett He tells me he'll give me a black star--punch me in the forehead, but so administrators won't see any marks. Then he'll get some of the other kids to "beat my ass." They will "put me in a circle" and punch me.

I get in trouble for something with a friend (not someone I know in WL), and we both get sent to the principal's office. Principal is telling my friend how he will get him kicked out of this school. My friend starts crying, and asking why I won't be getting kicked out as well. The principal says the circumstances are different for me. The principal goes on, looking through some thick book, and saying things like, "Seems there is an opening at such-and-such school." I scoot my chair (it's a rolley chair) closer to see what he is reading.

It's an album of Winnie the Pooh pictures. I laugh. He sees that I've seen the album and smiles. He then kindly lectures us on behaving in class, and tells us we need to do that. I say, "I am going to shoot straight with you," to the principal. I tell him about the gym teacher's threats. He slowly transforms from a slender, bald man with glasses to a heavier, blonde-bearded guy. The bearded guy tells us how they called the gym teacher "the cheat pro" in high school because he always cheated. I ask incredulously if he went to school here. The principal says he did not. His beard has changed into some weird metal clip flapping from his chin. He also has a clip hanging from his lower lip, his ears, and maybe nose (?). The clips flap as he talks. This seems vaguely unprofessional to me, but don't notice it as weird

The principal has now changed into a woman. She says she is sure the teacher did not mean his threats, and that he has to have some way to control the class. I tell her she is wrong, and that I fully expect to be beaten up soon. I tell her I will let her know if that happens.

My friend and I are heading back to class. I realize I forgot my book bag in the principal's office. I also am trying to remember what my science homework is. I realize I have done no science homework the entire year. Does that mean I just have a zero in the class? Why didn't the principal mention my grade? It suddenly dawns on me that I might be dreaming. I nose pinch twice and can breathe. My friend is looking at me expectantly. I think to tell him this is a dream, but then remember how DCs tend to wig out on me if I do that. I say nothing.

I also realize I don't need to go back to the office for the backpack, as I can just summon it here. I reach behind me, feeling for the strap. I feel the correct texture, and pull the backpack around to me. It has some orange coloration, but it otherwise almost exactly like the back pack I have in WL. I am satisfied. I then decide to head outside.

There are many students in the main hall--everyone seems to be heading to class. I am walking down a wide staircase with students going up and down. I see a boy trying to lift a duffel bag up onto the step above him--the step he is trying to get up is somehow very high, about four or five feet. I lift the bag up for him, reasoning that this should not take too much of my dream time. He thanks me (?) and then says I should lift bags in a certain way--I should "waffle" them. Whatevs

Another student stops me, and starts talking. I stop and listen, but it comes out garbled. I ask him to repeat himself. He shakes his head, and says he was just going to "cheer me on" or something. I realize this is just a DC, and therefore is not real. "You're fine," I say to him, and continue on to the front steps of the school. As I approach, I remember to observe the dream. What would that entail here? I pay more attention. Doors are made of glass. I go outside onto the main steps.

Something is now in my mouth--I'm chewing. Two girls approach me. They want me to take a survey or something. I spit the food out of my mouth in a retching fashion to see how they will react. They just stare at the chewed up food on the ground. I wake up. Go for the DEILD but no

5:38 AM: 2 hour WBTB (ungh, accidental). Then I am sitting in a car, parked beside a building. I am deciding on something, maybe radio stations. It occurs to me that I might be dreaming, but I brush it off--a thought that arises, but then gets subsumed again before I have a chance to really address it. I think about driving somewhere, then realize I have been sitting in the car for sometime. I get out and go inside the building. As I am walking in, remember I wanted to LD and am pretty sure this is a dream right now. I nose pinch and can breathe.

I decide to spin to stabilize. Dream blacks out (as spinning usually causes this for me). I continue walking down the hallway, visualize the scene I was just in. It slowly returns. I enter some doorways, and quickly become disoriented--there are doors and hallways all over the place. No big deal--it's a dream. I can't get lost. I jump up and touch the ceiling, testing gravity. Keep walking, and find myself in a restroom. I recognize this as "dream locale"--I often dream about public toilets In one stall, there is no urinal. I decide to test summoning. I visualize a urinal, look around the side of the stall, and then back. Peekaboo--no urinal. C'mon, now . . . . I think, and try a few more times. Finally, a urinal appears. Cool. I try to do something else with the urinal (don't remember exactly what) but when I look again, there is some pipe extending out of the wall and emptying into the toilet. I spin again and the dream fades. I reappear in the restroom. I wake up. Try to DEILD, but nothing.

Lay in bed for approximately an hour. Just try to drift off normally, with the intent to be lucid and observe the dream state. I am at a grocery store. I'm outside, digging through a bin of marshmallow products. I eat something (maybe a single, unwrapped marshmallow) and then begin examining labels to see which marshmallows have vegan ingredients. I recognize the brand of one as not vegan. I also see some cookies sandwiches with marshmallow in the middle. These are probably not vegan, I reason. The fact that they are unwrapped strikes me as odd, but not terribly so. I start to go inside the grocery store. Some fast-paced techno music is playing. I remember I am at a grocery store (a dream sign of mine), so it would be a good idea to nose pinch. I do. I'm awake. I think that I should be a little more thorough, however, and pinch about seven or eight more times. Little by little, I feel like I can breathe, Until I can breathe. I CAN BREATHE.

I begin stripping off my jacket because I feel hot (think this was some residue from the original dream plot). Inside, techno is louder. I'm no longer in a grocery store, but an office building with multicolored, vibrantly-glowing cubicles (reds, greens, and blues I remember). In one of them, as I approach, a stickman in shirt and tie is mirroring my movements exactly. I almost run to interact but then remember I wanted to take it easy, and just observe. I take in the visual details of this place, turning around. Above me, there are men in suits walking around on a higher floor. I think to fly up there, but no, seriously, just observe. As I watch, the landscape becomes more malleable. The distance in height is shortening and shortening--but this is more of a perspective thing: almost as if I looked and judged incorrectly the distance before, and my "eyes" are slowly correcting the error. Interesting. I hear wife's alarm and wake up. Try for a DEILD, but no.

6:30 AM: SinisterDezz has a question about LDing. He posts in the forum, and uses a box of black tiles with his question written on it as an accompanying picture. The forum warns him that this picture is creepy, and not to post it, but he does anyway. NyxCC answers his question. Dreamer shows up as well, but can't remember much else.

In this same dream sequence, there is a machine that can cause a person to both LD and AP. I reason in the dream that the machine really does not need to send a soul anywhere to WILD (odd meta moment). During the AP, the soul bounces around in a triangular part of the machine (I drew a cryptic picture in my DJ, posting it would really not help much). Seth Rogan also shows up in this dream as the Green Hornet (a movie I have never seen). I wake up, feeling close to an LD. I MILD and then return to sleep.

I am in bed. I pretty blonde girl is asking me all sorts of questions about how she looks. As she asks these questions, she is showing more and more skin--pulling up her shirt, putting a foot on the bed so I can see her legs, and finally spreading her legs above me. I suddenly begin to wonder if this is a dream. I close my eyes and nose pinch. Hmm. I lie here breathing, and thinking of goals. Ah yes, wanted to play with kitten T. Now I am in darkness., even after opening my eyes. I sweep the "hair" out of my eyes and the scenery returns. The blonde girl is gone now, and I head downstairs.

I find kitten by the sliding glass doors, watching outside. I scoop her up and try phasing through the wall. I am going through easily but kitten is getting stuck. I duck down, see the opening in the wall, and tunnel out.

Outside, I want kitten to fly so I throw her into the air. She definitely falls on the pavement, and pretty hard (her legs splay out from the impact). I have a twinge of discomfort, as I would not want to hurt my real life cat this way, but reason that this is just a dream, and throw her into the air again. Same result, except this time, after standing up, she turns into a tiny black beetle and flies away. I decide to do some flying myself. I try a couple of times (no success) and wake up.

DEILD. Transition but am still lying on mat. Body feels incredibly heavy; I RC, but almost just "go back to sleep" because it is so hard to move. I reason that that would be pointless, however, because I am already asleep. I decide to get up, and as I do, my body becomes lighter and lighter, and until I just fly out of bed. I run out of the room on all fours.

Cats are out in the living room. My father's cat is here, which is odd, and he eyes me suspiciously as I come charging out. He seems scared, and then attacks and bites me. I hit him in face with a pillow. Then try to make friends. He seems pissed. My wife then comes out of the bedroom. I suddenly realize that this dream is scary, and things could go wrong if I let my emotions get worked up. So I still my mind and focus on people liking me

My wife seems happy to see me. She tells me to go get ready for bed, because she wants "quality time." I consider telling her this is a dream, but I do not I wake up.

I am reading a secret/restricted Jehovah's Witnesses' text called "Watchtower" In it, a discussion about a certain river where initiations and enlightenment have occurred. I go to the river. I am swimming up it, into a cave. I have a vision/flashback (?) of Gurdjieff trying to bring someone to enlightenment. He gives this man a baby. The man is at the river for the purpose of enlightenment, and is displeased to have to take care of a child. Then he becomes attached to the child. He fears for its safety. Gurdjieff comes back, and turns the child into dust. It sinks into the river. The man is devastated. Gurdjieff explains:

"At first you did not want the child. You were blown by the winds of karma one way. Then you wanted the child. You were blown the other way. Now I have taken the child, and you suffer for it." The man asks if he is close to enlightenment. Gurdjieff laughs and says there are many stages.

I swim back toward the mouth of the cave and down a small waterfall. The river has become a water park, and I accidentally bump someone coming up the waterfall (?). Segue into a FA: "wake up" at a pool. I am wondering if this is a dream when my wife asks the same question. I nose pinch and can breathe. We walk around the pool together; not super lucid, as I think my wife is real. We see a girl DC. I start fooling around with her, and she starts to rub my wife's breasts. My wife pulls away, and says it feels uncomfortable. I think to show off my dream control, and order the DC to run across the street. She does, and a path appears for her to run on. I urge her onward. Finally awake into a FA; my wife is awake, and I question her about the dream, but she says was not there. I assume it was a just a "normal" LD and return to sleep. I then wake up.

Dream WILD: Talking to my aunt on the phone; we decide to LD together. We enter the dream, and try to help some man find his daughter. More of a semi-lucid, although I was aware I was dreaming. Tough call She tells me about using LDing to contact my dead grandfather. She keeps calling it "remedying" though (like REMedying . . . .)Another FA with my wife. She has her nightlight on. We talk about something, and then I go "back" to sleep.

A dream about not being able to fall asleep. I finally take Sageous's advice to get up and do something else. I decide to make some tea. I use AnotherDreamer's recipe, made out of sunflower leaves and apple chips. I start eating the apple chips. I check my watch twice as an RC, and the numbers do change, but this is not enough to trigger me. In fact, I think I ignore it altogether.

WILD at bedtime. Lots of body vibrations (not normal for me) and then transition in NREM. The sensation is similar to diving under water, and all of a sudden the world is quiet. I wait for a bit to see if something will happen. A helicopter appears. We are flying. I imagine that it's snowing, and begin to hear jingle bells in my head. I silence them, though, because this seems like a military dream, and those are out of place. Once the scene sets, it is snowing

I am set down on a watch tower. A man on a tower across from me yells, "Let's move it, rookie!" This seems to me like a Call of Duty dream. I tell him to extend the drawbridge to me. He drops a ladder to the ground. "No, John," I say, "the button underneath." He fumbles for a minute, and seems like he is having trouble. I remain calm. Can't remember what happened, but think he extended the bridge, because I remember being very pleased with my dream control

I somehow make it across; while I am running over, I try to recall the other tasks besides the snowball. On the other tower, inside a room, there are some dogs lying on a bed--two pit bulls, black and white spotted. I recognize this as my "doubles" dream sign, but of course don't RC because this is already a dream. I go down the ladder, looking for snow. It seems it has all dried up, but I think that if I run around the corner of the building, there will be some left. There is. I run over and pack a snowball. Cold! My feet are cold too, but I remind myself that it's a dream and that it isn't real cold. I start climbing the ladder with the big snowball and wake up.

Feel WILD set in, roll off of the mat. Am falling/flying for some time, but keeping my mind blank as I do. I am soaring around a house (my mom's house?), and the characters from the Simpsons live inside. I try to enter via a window, but accidentally break a window with my head. Scene instantly becomes hyper-realistic (not cartoon-like anymore) and the characters vanish. I have the feeling that, like a big oaf, I ruined this part of the dream. I walk inside the house.

Inside, I try practicing my dream control via perspective by crushing my bedroom door frame top to bottom. Nothing happens. I attempt a few more times, but still am unsuccessful. I leave the house and wander about. Yep, it's out in the country, just like waking life. I think how I will write down in my dream journal that this was a very long, very stable, very boring LD. Not much going on, and no DCs around. I decide to relax and see what "dream memories" come up (such as why I might be here, etc.). I wake up. Do some MILD and back to sleep.

Walking with my sister-in-law to a school for young kids. I am examining a wall mural the kids have done. I realize that it has something to do with Theravada Buddhism. I suddenly think, "The girls go to a Buddhist school?" I nose pinchand can breathe. My sister-in-law confirms my suspicions and says that the curriculum here is inspired by Theravada Buddhism; the kids are taught to be mindful of their one precious human life. Excited, I decide to see what the inside of the school looks like. I find a door and open it. Behind it is another door. This is funny to me, and undeterred, I open this door as well.

Inside, people are eating food and talking. I see a coworker eating. I look around, trying to decide who to talk to. There is a large man, with no shirt and a hairy chest, sitting in a sauna-like area and talking on a phone. This guy seems fairly impressive, so I decide to talk to him. He sees me waiting, then puts his phone away and greets me. I say I have a question about dreams, from a Theravadan perspective. He nods, then seems to consider my statement carefully. He then says,

"Well, suppose you have a tikkoku. That's kind of like a cocaku. You see?"

I say I don't quite see. I then think that I will tell him he is dreaming. He tells me he is unable to lucid dream.

"Pinch your nose!" I say. He shoves his finger up his nose perversely, and then begins tugging at his nostril. He becomes smaller and more imp-like. My own nostrils start to feel affected, and I realize he is just my own mind being overactive. My body unaccountably becomes aroused, and seeing this, the DC lunges at my crotch. Sigh. I hug the DC and tell him it's OK. He calms down quite a bit. I blank my mind and he stops moving altogether. Can't remember how but I soon wake up. Lie still and DEILD into next dream.

Mario Bros. screen with Bowser, too. I know it is a dream, and begin my slow fall (something that happens often to me during WILD and DEILD). I hear water (currently in darkness) and begin imagining a beach (trying to create scenery). I also begin imagining the opening scenes of FFVIII, along with the theme song, Liberi Fatali:



Scenery generates into a desert canyon (pretty close, sand, right?) with shallow water flowing along the sad swiftly. I am carried along on into a gorge/cave. Above, I see a hole in the ceiling, and fly up to investigate. Halfway up, I realize I am effortlessly flying, and begin to fall; I climb up a bit, and then fly the rest of the way. The hole is too small to get out of, so I begin scooping the rock away with my hands. I hear an evil laugh above; outside, there is a stormy sky, with a gray dragon flying above me. I feel terrified--at the dragon, at the feeling that the dream wants me to fight the dragon, and that the floor of the cave is so far below me. I remind myself that this is just a dream but it is not helping much. However, I decide to fly up and face the dragon. I am trying to get out of the hole when I wake up, heart pounding and very relieved. MILD and then return to sleep.

I am at work. A coworker comes up to me and asks me if I got an email. I say I did not, and ask what it was about. He says something that I can't understand. I ask him to repeat, and while I understand more, I still can't quite catch his meaning. I say, "something else someone wants me to do, right?" concerning the email. He looks embarrassed. Turns out the email concerns him getting promoted. Whatever. I reenter my work area, and food is laid out for everyone. A coworker has already begun eating. This seems vaguely against the rules, and I am about to reprimand her when I realize I'm dreaming. Sweet! I pop a piece of fried tofu into my mouth. I also shout, testing out my dream voice. It re-echoes oddly in my head. I wake up.

FA. I "wake up" on my sleeping mat, nose pinch and can breathe.I head into the dining room, where I attempt to fly through the ceiling. Not working too well, as I bang my head against the ceiling. I decide to just relax. I start to phase through head-first, but then get too excited that I am "really doing it" and get pushed back. Decide to phase through the front door and head out. Not sure what happens, but I wake up and

DEILD:

I roll off of my mat and fly through the transition, before slamming into a classroom. The lights are off, and the class is watching some movie. I see the teacher sitting at her desk, and thinking it would be funny to scare her, charge forward on all fours towards her. Not sure what happened, but I think I pull back at the last minute. I look around, and realize all of the students are kid-versions of people I knew in high school. I see some girl and give her a high-five!

I head out through the door, and find myself in some back hallway. I am able to fly up into the air off and on, rising and sinking, but all the while reminding myself that there is nothing here, and nothing really to do. I see some light fixtures and feel like pulling them down, so I "grab" them from a distance (using perspective) and rip them down. I then see a large ventilation thingy, and decide to crush that between my hands. I steadily press my palms together; at first, it seems as though it is not working, but then the entire structure collapses in on itself, and glass shatters. Pleased, I set off into the mall.

Lots of DCs, lots of people I know (I pass another old friend, whom I pat on the shoulder and say hello to). I end up in a food court area, with lots of food sitting out. I reach for a molten lava cake (a small cupcake), and cram it into my mouth):



Amazing. Very chocolatey. I eat it very slowly, not wanting my mouth in WL to start moving and accidentally wake me up (a problem in the past). In response to my care, the cake begins to glue my mouth shut. I also get some cake on my face. I ignore both of these effects, and continue my explorations in the clothing department. I begin looking for a DC to have sex with. I pass a few unsuitable candidates. I leave this area, and head out behind the mall (outside) behind some dumpsters. As I get farther from the mall, I find a girl lying on her back, smoking a joint. She is a cute girl I knew in high school (and whom I have not thought of in years). I lie down next to her and take her in my arms. She seems happy to see me. The dream ends.

Wake from an NLD. I lie still and wait to DEILD. Body begins to roll to the side, which signals beginning of REM sleep. I roll off of the mat and fall through space. Eyes flicker open somewhat, and I can see stars in a black sky. I accidentally open my WL eyes, though, because I can suddenly see light streaming in from beneath my sleep mask. I close them and wait for my "dream eyes" to open on their own. They do, and I see I am flying swiftly over a dark, deep purple ocean. The stars are still out. I can feel the wind on my face. Ahead of me, on the horizon, a white number one appears.

Memory is fuzzy here. Certain I did not lose consciousness, but unsure of how narrative unfolded entirely. I land down in the water, and there is some sort of game being played by a bunch of DCs. I try to persuade one of them that she is strong enough to lift me up and throw me out of the water. She says she is not. "Oh come on," I say. "Look at those triceps!" She laughs and tries to throw me. She just sort of pushed me out of the water. She says she can't. "But really," I say, "You can." I'm trying to get the dream to bend to my will a bit! She tries again (and throws me a bit higher) and reiterates that she can't do it.

I mess around for a bit more (can't remember what I was doing--interacting with DCs, asking questions and what not, and I specifically remember rubbing my hands to stabilize--and then it occurs to me to complete the tasks of the month. I think about what the tasks are, and remember the leaf task. I am in a back yard. I begin thinking I will materialize the leaves by pretending they are on the other side of a wooden fence. I say, "You're around this fence!" and run around the fence. I briefly see the outline of what looks like a pile of leaves, but then that pops out of existence. I try two more times, and nothing happens at all.

I run around for a bit, thinking I might find a pile of leaves somewhere. Nope. I then think to call for help on my phone, and pull it out of my pocket. I figure it will take too long to punch in the numbers though and toss it away. Instead, I head inside to get help from a DC.

Near me is a blond girl. She attempted to assist me earlier in the dream, but I rebuffed her because DCs are too unreliable. I now ask her if she knows where any leaves are. We go inside the house, and she nods and points to some storage boxes. One of them is black and I open it up. Inside there are only Christmas lights. "These are just Christmas lights," I say, and then get annoyed. This always happens. DCs always trick me and waste my time. I run out of the house. The DC runs after me, trying to get me to come back. I ignore her. Looking around, I see a bunch of leaves lying around on the grass. I think I might be able to rake them up, but then pull an Ophelia and scoop some up in my arms. Some of them are crackly, but others are rotten and gross. I make a very small pile. I look at it and decide I'm not jumping in that.

I try to think of the other basic. Oh yeah, tell a kid they are dreaming. I am on a path in the woods, and a jogger is coming towards me. She is a kid, maybe like a high school student, but I check just to be sure:

"How old are you?" I ask.

She stops running and faces me. "16."

"You're dreaming!" I say.

"If you don't shut up, I'm going to hit you," she says.

I back off, and she continues jogging.

I continue on the path until I find a small cabin/mobile home (don't ask) in the woods. Inside are some DCs. More conversation that I can't remember. However, I hear voices up inside a treehouse-like loft. They are discussing someone messing up their abilities to dream. I ascend the wooden ladder up, and see two people I know semi-well from WL. However, I understand that they are DCs and not their real selves. They are crouched over a dream journal. When they see me enter the room, the girl (it's a girl and a guy) moves to cover up the DJ so I can't read it.

"It's just me," I say. "The dreamer." They are smiling now in a mocking way. I sort of lose it here, and demand to know "why you guys (meaning DCs in general) always tease me?"

"Because we can," the girl responds.

"But lots of dreamers get help from their DCs. They teach them fun things like how to fly. You guys always try to trick me."

The girl now laughs and says, "You can't even fly."

I get mad and grab the guy in my fist. He instantly turns into a small, faceless rag doll. The transition was seamless and sort of shocked me. The girl disappeared altogether. I fling the doll down on the ground and leave.

Back in the house, I remember the advanced task--cut off your hand and serve it up for Thanksgiving dinner. I look around and see a half-eaten plate of food: there is some cornbread there and some other stuff I don't remember. I realize that if I hadn't scared the DCs away I could have served them my hand. I leave and begin running back to the first house (where I tried to complete the leaf task.

Once inside the original kitchen, I approach the block of knives. They all appear to be light, serrated blades, and I am not keen on sawing through my wrist. I am hoping for a cleaver, and find a small one, but it is not heavy enough. I finally settle on a knife that probably does not exist in WL, but resembles a butcher knife. I RC to make sure I am dreaming. I then (to be honest, fearing the pain) test the knife by slicing into my index finger. I don't feel anything, and think maybe I missed (lol). However, a line appear on my finger, and I start bleeding. The dream quickly fades and I wake up.

I am a small duck dressed in a trench coat and sunglasses. I am a bounty hunter, and am after some guys hanging out inside a night club. It is daytime outside My awareness is positioned outside of my body. I enter the club, and exit carrying some stuff I stole from them. I then get into the car I own in WL, where my awareness now enters my body. I am trying to back up, when one of the thugs moves his car to box me in. I turn the wheel hard, ride up and over the car beside me (not possible at all in WL) and in the process, tear the head off of a thug who was trying to climb in through the back window.

I become lucid, as this is ridiculous and could never happen in real life. I continue driving my car down the street. I am now driving down some hallways (almost like I am in the back of a kitchen or something) and I realize the car is gone. I think to myself, Oh, I'm running now but then have a flash of insight--I'm not doing anything--I'm lying in bed. I also realize I have no body and really haven't had one for quite some time. Furthermore, as I am dreaming, there is really no reason to get a body anyway.

At this point, I decide to test my bodiless-ness and pass through a set of push doors. I bang my forehead against the door, and then just raise my hand and open it! I remember my discussion with dutchraptor and Sensei about pain in dreams, and realize that--as usual--I do not feel any pain from knocking myself in a dream.

I reach an open area, where I am looking down at a helipad. The helipad is about forty or fifty feet below me, and there are numerous helicopters on the ground, propellers spinning. I think that I might jump down into one of the propellors, but then change my mind, as I really have no wish to test being chopped up (dang it!). Instead, I decide to use this high point as a jump off for flying. I leap into the air, but just fall (very swiftly) to the ground. I hit the ground and then fall down on my butt.

I now stand up, look around, and just lift into the air. I fly higher and higher, really not even trying now to do anything, and travel perhaps several hundred feet into the air (that's advanced, right!? ). I then look around, and my body begins to fall. I am momentarily scared, but then remember that I'm not really doing anything, nothing is happening, and there is nothing at all to worry about. I relax, and just hang in mid-air. I then accelerate upwards again. As I am thinking these things, I realize my body is moving of its own accord, flying this way and that. I think this is kind of neat and just observe my body flying. I then relax again, and I this must trigger something with my WL body because I wake up.

On a side note, this dream has caused me to think more about meditation in dream, and has prompted me to concentrate more on my daily practice of sitting, as well as begin to integrate sitting more into my dream practice.

Really need to start my waking life journal again, as the day residue is getting a little ridiculous. Due to my conversation with Sageous concerning the breath in dreams, I incubated this little gem:

I am at a restaurant. My sister is frying me fish in a small pond inside the restaurant. She has the fish pressed into a corner of the pond, and the water around the fish is boiling vigorously, as though it were frying in hot oil. The fish is supposed to be for my throat, which is apparently bothering me in the dream. My wife then explains to me that if I don't want to eat the fish, I can take an entire bottle of liquid medicine, which will have the same effect.

I am now standing in front of a mirror in a bathroom. Have just read the label on the bottle and am now trying to breathe. This is incredibly difficult. I try to breathe but feel like my throat is closing. I am also coughing, which is doing zilch to clear up my throat. My throat continues to close until I can't breathe at all. I then wake up.

Hurray for choking dreams!

This lucid was particularly long, and I was quite caught up in the action, so parts of my memory are foggy--will do the best that I can!

I am in a futuristic society, and am experiencing this dream via observation (I have no body). A traitor is being drawn out of hiding by his friend, a high-ranking politician. They are sitting in a living room, having a chat, when the politician friend pulls a surprise interrogation. The traitor is caught of guard and does not know how to respond. The politician is very friendly, and suggests that even if the friend confesses, he can use his influence to get him out of trouble. It seems that the traitor has been teaching a young kid how to LD, and the dream seems to compare this to watching stars--very innocent with a bit of wonder. They have been having 33 minute long lucid dreams together.

Transition to a fellow walking down the street (may have been LouaiB, though I am not entirely sure about this). It is night, and then neighborhood scene is very peaceful and lovely. Suddenly, this man stops and says, "This is a dream!" He then realizes he has had six lucid dreams that night, and he's very put out about this, as he feels he has "stayed awake most of the night lucid dreaming"

The next moment I am aware, I am in darkness, surrounded by a myriad of loud voices coming from all different directions. "Stop!" I finally shout. "I know this is a dream!" Everyone stops shouting, except for one small voice. Hanging there in space, I decide to focus on this one voice, and use it to help me rebuild the dream from out of darkness. Slowly, listening to the voice, I find myself lying in bed (but still in total blackness). I then begin to feel my body sliding backward, and off the back edge of the bed, as though the whole thing had been tipped upwards. I realize that this is just dream sensation (similar to a WILD) and decide to help the dream by slipping backward off of the bed. I fall through darkness.

As I am falling, Al Bundy's head (from Married with Children) appears in front of me, laughing:

I continue falling, wondering what in the hell incubated this dream and realize I am in some sort of air duct. Looking up, I see some falling object, breaking the laws of gravity as they fall faster than I do: pillows! I get really excited about this, and start punching pillows. I feel my excitement begin to rise, however, and try to calm down a bit so that I don't wake up. I finally end my fall by landing in a huge pile of pillows.

I find that by directing my awareness to the pillows, I can make them explode into clouds of feathers. I do this several times, before trying to channel energy into a pillow for the same effect. This doesn't work (although the pillow does heat up) in part, I think, because I am thinking too much about it. I don't care enough to keep trying though, and toss the pillow away.

I exit the pillow room through a metal hallway. Off to the right is a small room, with my dream guide (!) sleeping in a chair. His feet are up and he has a snooze bubble expanding and contracting from his nostril. While this may have been a false memory (as I have no memories of ever having met a dream guide), I think it was actually part of the dream that I had forgotten from earlier. I decide not to wake him up, as we had already had some kind of interaction earlier in the dream.

I walk up three short steps, and enter into a large make-up room (with mirrors like you would see in an actress's make-up room). There are mirrors all around, but this make-up room has no walls, and it is not possible to explain what is around the make-up room--it is just nothing at all. I see a woman on the other side of one these big mirrors and tables, and decide to see if she is good looking. As I move to get a better look, I realize it is my sister I say hi to her, and she replies, "Good, you're up."

"Nope," I say, moving past her, "Still dreaming." I make a note that the dream is trying to send me false awakenings. I manage to see my own reflection in the mirror: I am wearing a grody white nightgown, my hair looks unwashed, and my eyes are bloodshot. Basically look like I've fallen off the wagon.

I exit this area into a smaller living room, where I see some people from waking life that I know. They are all prepared to go to a wedding, and are dressed very nicely. At this point, I receive a false memory about needing to be awake for a wedding, but I am not fooled. Two of the people are an old crush and her husband. I take this opportunity to tell old crush how beautiful she looks. The husband tries to shake my hand, but he is super tall in dream, which pulls my arm way up into the air. I pull his arm down and shrink him a bit I then pat the third person, a kid playing with a dog, on the back. The kid tells me to wait until he is done petting the dog. The dog is groaning and basically enjoying being pet. As I am watching the dog, the dream begins to destabilize. I stop for a moment to feel whether or not this is real instability, or made up instability, but it is real and I wake up.

All in all, I slept an entire sleep cycle, and estimate I was lucid for approximately 25-30 minutes. Probably one of the most novel adventures ever, especially falling through the air duct. I am constantly amazed at the creative power of the dreaming mind.

I am returning from a business trip. I have been away for quite some time, and am ready to be intimate with my wife. She is on the phone with her sister, and the door is shut. She finally emerges, and I tell her I would like to have a talk. We go into the bedroom together.

My wife then makes an odd comment. "Men are really just a pile of sex cells, so I think you just need a good fuck."

In dream, this actually sounds kind of good, and we start getting into bed (the bedroom, of course, is not our bedroom, and my wife doesn't even look like herself--but why should that seem weird at all? ). But then I realize, no, I would like to just talk and spend time with my wife. For some reason now I open up the drawer next to the bed, and find a pistol in the drawer. We do not own a pistol, and so I demand to know why there is a gun in the house.

My wife gets defensive. "You were gone for so long!" she says. "I needed some way to protect myself!"

My dream thinking then comes to this conclusion: some man has purchased this gun for my wife, and she has been having an affair. "Who bought you this gun?" I shout.

I then glance at the sliding glass door, and see a man standing there, and it hits me: this is her lover, looking in on us. I am really pissed, and jump up to confront him. At this point, a mob forms outside. The neighbors begin chasing this guy, and he runs off. One of them, an older man, beckons to me through the glass, and I think, Alright, let's get this motherfucker! A group of the neighbors drag my wife out of the house but I am running after her lover now.

While I am running, I notice that some of the neighbors are people I know from high school. Am I dreaming? I wonder, as people from high school are a dreamsign for me, but the dream plot is so demanding and fast-paced that I quickly forget about state checking and continue pursuit.

The neighbors have now cornered the man near a dumpster (and I think he may have even been in the dumpster). My first thought now is of the pistol--where is that gun, so I can shoot this asshole? I realize that I left it back at the house, though. Turns out there is now a baseball bat in my hand. It's long and black and purple, and looks like a nerf bat. It's heavy and solid, though, and I think that I could easily kill someone with it. I heft it and prepare to hit my wife's lover, who is on the ground in front of me.

Then I suddenly realize I don't need to do this. There isn't any good reason to kill this man. I back off, and feel a bit better. We then become friends in the dream (though my memory is a little fuzzy here). Once I've decided to not act in violence, the crowd begins to disperse. Soon I am by myself, walking back through the neigborhood. At this point it strikes me--oh yeah, I wanted to test reality. And of course, I am dreaming.

I am a little annoyed, because I realize I've spent a good bit of dream time on "dream drama," and not doing things that are constructive or fun. It's nighttime, and I decide to fly through the neighborhood a bit. I lift off of the ground easily, but begin to have some hangups. I instinctively revert to the swim method, but when it doesn't immediately succeed, I just hang there in midair, remember that I'm not doing the swim schema anymore, and reassert my intention of flight. I begin to fly normally, without dream body movement.

I then realize I am slowing down, but I think to myself, no, I'm flying fast, and then I am flying fast. The wind is whipping past my face and it feels really wonderful. All around me though, the dream is beginning to get blurry, and the darkness is increasing.

In the past, I have associated dream darkness with waking up, and so assume the dream is ending (as it had gone on for quite a bit already). However, I still attempt some stability techniques. I shout, "Increase lucidity!" and some sharpness and clarity does return momentarily, but then begins to fade again. At this point, the dream scene is retreating away from me at top speed, and I am stuck in some kind of dark tunnel vision. My thought at this moment (unfortunately) is "I've got to try to get back to the dream scene" and I leap forward with all I've got.


I slam into the bedside table at my old apartment complex, breaking the lamp in the process. Glass is everywhere and I assume that I have broken REM atonia and moved in my sleep (which is unfortunately something I tend to do). As I am cleaning up the glass, I hear my wife cooking in the next room, as well as Frank Sinatra singing from the stereo. I then receive a false memory of Frank singing all night. I wake up shortly after.

Side notes: The "Loony Tunes Retreating Dream Scene" is something that has happened before, and something I plan to recognize as a false awakening the next time it occurs.

4:35 AM: I am on a vacation with my wife at Google. We are on the highway driving, and being passed by little Google pod cars--sort of like roundish hover craft-like vehicles. My wife says they are probably just "spy cars." I think they look cool though. We are then standing in a train station, watching the Google monorail pull up. When the monorail arrives, I see that it is a U-Haul monorail (US moving company) and people can put all of their luggage in the nose of the train.

Then we are on the train, looking for a seat. We pass some odd-looking kids while moving through the carriages, and I decide to nose pinch. Either stuffy nose, or just not aware, because I fail the RC, but something still seems off to me. I inspect my hands, but they look fine. My wife begins to tease me.

"Are you dreaming?" she asks, laughing.

"Sweetheart, please stop that," I say, "Something is really not right here!"

I finally decide I must be awake and proceed non-lucidly (!)

We are now in Google village, shopping (sort of a Disney-like atmosphere, for those who have been). I am shoplifting small items, and slipping them into my pockets. In one of the shops, I hear my wife talking to a woman. She is discussing selling or trading something. I realize she is talking about selling her wedding band, and that some agreement has been made. The woman leaves to get her items, and I approach my wife.

I ask her what she is trading her wedding ring for, and she shows me some glass beads. This frustrates me, as the beads are worthless. I try to reason with my wife, and explain how expensive and important her wedding band is, and add that the beads are worth nothing at all. She seems to be considering.

Meanwhile, the woman comes back with her stuff. I explain to her that we may not honor the bargain. She replies that the agreement has already been made. I reiterate not to get her hopes up, as my wife will probably rescind the offer. I ask her what the beads are made of. She shrugs, feigning unimportance, and says, "I think glass." I appeal to my wife wordlessly, giving her a "see there?" gesture. My wife then reaffirms her decision to trade the ring!

I suddenly have a false memory of my wife selling her engagement ring as well, some time in the past. I tell her--almost crying, almost screaming--how money doesn't matter, and that I can't bear to see her do this. I ask why she is giving away the rings that symbolize our marriage in exchange for trash? I am conscious now of making a scene. She begins crying silently and motionlessly, and tells me if giving the rings away will "benefit other beings," then she will do it. Her tears are like diluted red water. I think this is odd but am too distraught to really think about it.

I now turn to speak to the couple--the woman and her husband--but they have gone. They have used the opportunity to abscond with my wife's rings. I run out of the store after them, and scan the village. There are people about, but the couple is gone.

"You pieces of SHIT!" I scream, but then duck back into the store as I don't want to be kicked out of the park.

Dream ends a little bit after, bits of images coming out of hypnopompic.

If you made it this far, let me know what you think

Woke up around 6:00 from an earlier dream cycle, DJed a bit, and then worked on MILD for several minutes. Here was the result:

I am at a dreaming convention or conference. I am walking around, maybe ordering food or looking for the restroom. I pass a man who seems a bit shady and scary. I am walking away so as not to cause a conflict when I decide to confront him, because this is just a dream. It now fully strikes me that I am dreaming. I nose pinch. I walk back to look for the DC, but cannot find him. Oh well.

The dream was long, so some material was lost. I decided to scope out the restroom; inside, under the stalls, I see dirty work boots. I turn around and look for the women's restroom. I can't find it. I laugh at my dream's attempt to thwart me.

Outside, I am walking across a plaza when I see a friend of mine from WL. She is quite pretty in this dream, and I decide to walk with her. I put my arm around her shoulder, and then when she does not reciprocate, I put her arm around my waist. She seems quite happy to be walking with me. I stroke her hair a bit, but firmly decide this will not be a sex dream. We chat a bit (can't remember about what) and make our way back indoors.

We are now seated in an auditorium. I remember that I want to start interrogating the subconscious more. I decide to start with her.

"You do realize this is a dream, don't you?" I ask.

"Yes."

"So why exactly am I in your dream?" I then correct myself: "What I mean to say is, why are you in my dream?"

She begins to answer. I suddenly realize I wanted to do the task of the month? What were those tasks? She is talking but I don't hear her now. I begin trying to pluck out my eyeball. I focus on this very carefully, and try to phase my fingers through my face to get a better grip. I'm not having much luck, and I think to myself, I am not tearing my eye out of my face, even if I am dreaming. I decide to do the basic instead.

I turn to my friend and ask her to tell me a word in a different language.

She says some gibberish. "And what does that mean?" I ask.

She suddenly laughs. "Oh my god," she says. "I've got my words mixed up!" She then gets up and starts walking off, laughing. I look around for someone else to help.

I see a gangster-looking fellow sitting near me. I decide to ask him.

"River," he says.

"Ok," I say, a little peeved that this is an English word, "but what does it mean?" I ask.

"Vitherur," he says.

"Virrerrur?" I ask? I'm having trouble understanding his accent. He nods and says, "Vitherur."

"Vitherur," I say. He nods again. I consider asking him to reconstruct the order, but figure the information is the same: vitherur = river. I then decide I am going to fly. I have the slightest moment of hesitation, but then decide that no, even my abilities at flying are not stopping me from flying today. I easily lift into the air and begin soaring around the auditorium. The ceiling is high and so it is easy to get some good height inside the room. As I am soaring about, I think to myself that this is why I enjoy lucid dreaming. What better way to spend the morning? Triumphant orchestral music begins to play, and I fly around, turning over and over in the air. I see a young boy I know in WL flying as well, moving some electrical cables to prepare for the show. I fly past him, smiling.

I now decide to land and go into the back room. On the way, I see some items stacked on a shelf--maybe plates or bottles--and I sweep them to floor because this is a dream and I can do that. I marvel at the realistic clattering sound they make as they scatter on the floor, and the tactile sensation I get on my hands. I decide to attempt Photoshop TotM. I will the room around me to become purple, but realize it already is purple. I then decide to change it to sepia, based on another member's dream journal (can't remember whose at the moment, sorry!). Nothing happens. I shrug, and decide I may need a schema to assist me (such as a laptop). I head back out. As I am leaving, my flip-flop comes off (?) and I am about to turn around and get it when I remember I'm dreaming and say fuck it, and walk out with only one shoe on.

The auditorium has turned into a dimly lit hallway. Ceiling fans circulate at high speed. I try to fly but just fall to the ground. I don't mind much. I begin walking down the hallway. The light slowly fades though until it is almost completely dark. I hear a sound now--growling and teeth--and some animal attacks me in the darkness. I begin petting him vigorously, telling him he's a good boy (dog activated in my mind quickest). It begins to pant and then it licks me. I am still roughing him up happily when I realize I'm squeezing my pillow. I wake up to write this all down. Hit the MILD again but can't get back to sleep.